We're Still Cool, Right?

In my defense, when I panic I just talk.

I wrote them all down on my pen and feather, and it's at work.

It sounded like lots of fucking, so I don't know.

It's like throwing a cinder block through a windshield.

It's 2026, guys. You should put alt tags on your fucking photos.

Ditka gave him one take.

Insurance fraud is not a good idea, kids.

All that fucking Sharpie ink I wasted for nothing.

Grabs you by the prison wallet and doesn't let go.

I felt like this is fitting because this is what you get for a birthday cake when you're old.

It kind of tastes like rocks. If I was eating tiny rocks, there's no flavor to it.

Anything that brings you comfort is cool.

It's the same reason why I don't have a name on my boat.

Logan and I are trying to have high standards with our cocktails.

It does both taste and smell the way I imagined the '20s taste and smell.

You know what it reminds me of? My grandpa's aftershave.

I'm the manliest coffee drinker, but probably the least manly beer drinker out of you.

Bringing your glove. Still cool.

It was never cool, but sometimes you deserve it.

Everything tastes pretty good after four of them.

To anyone who's only listening, I'm sure this is riveting.

If you don't own those things and they can just be taken away from you, it's very easy for them to have never existed.

Jack Black. I'd be pretty much the same, but publicly funny instead of privately.

I love just watching Logan's faces. There's such disappointment without saying a word.

Guess we're not getting any clips from this one. Can you say demonetized?

Feel so old and uncool. I was at home by 10:00.

Reebok was always number two, even in apparel back in the day.

No such thing as a spare beer.

Every kid was a pyro at some point in their life.

It is an audio podcast. You have to keep talking.

The cost of these insurance premiums is too damn high.

Garage sale penis pump is a great band name.

This was my first 'I'm an adult now.' I'm a Plus member, thank you very much.

It's always a good day to get a new smoker.

You just fixed a lot of things wrong in my life.

I want a thousand-gallon water bed.

It's never going to be cheaper.

I can definitely explain to you, step by step, why you pissed me off.

I get nervous just to look at a recipe from him, 'cause I'm like, he's going to yell at me.

You're not allowed to ask if Diddy is still cool.