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Ep. 75Jul 22, 20261:01:36

If You Could Take Over Someone Else's Life...

In this episode of We're Still Cool, Right?, hosts Erik, Mike, and Shaun sip on blackberry whiskey mules while tackling a fun hypothetical: if you could live as anyone in history for 10 years, who would you choose?

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Quotes from this episode

Jack Black. I'd be pretty much the same, but publicly funny instead of privately.

Ep. 75 @ 00:49:40

I love just watching Logan's faces. There's such disappointment without saying a word.

Ep. 75 @ 00:40:26

Guess we're not getting any clips from this one. Can you say demonetized?

Ep. 75 @ 00:52:49

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Why shouldn't you argue with a T. rex? You'll get Jurassic kicked.

Dad jokeErikEp. 75 @ 00:55:45

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Dude fashion, Ticks, Taints and Bidets Oh My!

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Show notes

In this episode of We're Still Cool, Right?, hosts Erik, Mike, and Shaun sip on blackberry whiskey mules while tackling a fun hypothetical: if you could live as anyone in history for 10 years, who would you choose? From Michael Jordan and Tom Brady to Winston Churchill and Elon Musk, the crew debates athletes, musicians, actors, and icons. They also riff on TikTok trends, car-buying frustrations, and quirky personal stories, keeping things light and entertaining throughout. The episode blends nostalgia, humor, and lively conversation in true We're Still Cool, Right? fashion.

Transcript

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Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

Welcome to We're Still Cool, Right? The weekly podcast where the conversation flows smoother than top-shelf whiskey. And cool, well, it never really left. Grab a drink and hang out with Erik, Mike, and Shaun while they dive into nostalgia and attempt to answer the age-old question. We're still cool, right?

You will not make this putt, you jackass. I didn't mean to spray the table right here. Dude, I almost... You guys weren't looking, but I barely got that open in time. I just clipped my fingernails, and I couldn't... This whole thing's been a traitor, because he couldn't figure out what to say. There's a lot of pressure on you, but... It really is. You guys don't know the struggle. Hey, you know, you don't know... Once you commit to doing that thing, you didn't know what kind of commitment that was going to be. Yeah, I did I literally figured out a second half what time said it like that. Thank you. It's gonna make sense you jackass Which I feel like that's very currently making sense since that's from happy Gilmore which started Adam Sandler and he just married our besties That's right swift and Travis Kelsey. He was the the officiant. Fuckers didn't invite us Did you see that people were buying their trash from that wedding like the eggs of the trash from the wedding?

Shut up. For what? Jesus Christ. Like what are you gonna get? Because people were selling it You know, it's like, I don't know. Our society has, I mean, lost its way more than we realize, I think, some days. People that bought that, this one is specially for you. Yeah.

I mean, I feel less nerdy about buying my magic cards today. Right? I didn't buy somebody's wedding trash, so I guess I'm good with that. Amen. See, every Magic the Gathering guy is like, look how fucking cool I am now. I'm not that guy. Anyone who bought a piece of trash from, let's be honest, anyone ever. you don't get to judge anyone or call them a nerd for the rest of your life. Let's be honest, they were probably the biggest nerds already anyways. For sure. Yeah, you're not wrong. But this thing is screaming cold and looks delicious. It is screaming cold. I wish I had a scream button. I'm excited.

Does a jackass scream? I'm going to turn that into a sound effect. Please don't. I had the drink this week and it was a little bit of a collaborative effort because I don't make mules, so I don't even have these cups. And I was going to buy them, but I'm like, I'm never going to use them again. But this drink is brought to you by Benz Beverage Depot. 501 7th Ave. What color is it? It's green, like the mint. It's a big green building. Yeah, just like the fresh mint that we picked out of Kara's herb garden this morning for these. But yeah, we got some blackberry whiskey and ginger beer, lime juice, and then I added fresh blackberries.

blackberries did i say blueberry no okay okay okay okay blackberry and i added blackberries and some fresh mint so thank you to kara the sweeter the juice yeah i'll be honest i also got the blackberry whiskey from kara she's been holding out on me and sitting on sitting on bottles of it so you've been doing a good job of not looking at me when you say weird things what did he say i said some say the black or the berry the sweet of the juice and then i like My finger looked right at me. Right in my soul. I told this story the other day, but I'll never forget. This was like six years ago. I'm at Hy-Vee buying Chinese food, and I just happened to turn right when a woman had opened a banana and had half it down her throat, just staring at me.

So we locked eyes, and I just was like... Anywhere else. I had no idea what to do. I'm just like, I need an adult. I need an adult. It was... You had the moment to be like an ultimate stud and just be like, good girl. She wasn't. She wasn't. Just walk right out. It's been the best one. She's not the girl. I want to say that to Shaun I'm not gonna get into specifics, but does it matter you got to go for the go for the line But that woman's got a mouth like a Hoover All I'll tell you she's not saying yeah And she never But let's try these blackberry mules and here they are cheers they are fucking freezing cold. I see what I use it smells great Also herb garden freshers that's a flex oh, that's what I thought yeah, thanks We expressed the mint around the rim of the glass yeah, Erik about fucking punch me because I was about to throw it away We'll use that for me He's like wait, and he like rubs it around the rim I'm like all sensual like the little things that happen when we're making drinks that really separates us because Mike And I are barely putting it together and Erik's over here. Wait. You gotta express It's just a different level, folks.

And back to nerd. If one of us actually has the title bartender, it's not Shaun or I. I'll just say that. I can't even open drinks. I fucking squirt shit. That sounds bad. But even when I opened the can, I made a mess. But the drink's good. That's alright. It's fucking delicious, actually. And that's some good... That blackberry whiskey. It's good. it's it's it's kind of rich like it's 80 proof so she was like i wonder if it's still good i'm like it's fine trust me she's got a couple more bottles of it so that's a lot of ginger beer like when i saw you putting it in i was like that's a lot it cuts through it really nice so that's like a good ratio it's at five to six ounces yeah good you did real good that's a nice bounce back from your other fuck off the blood and water was delicious you've made like a regular meal before with vodka, right?

If you put too much ginger beer in, it's like it's almost like it's in charge. Because vodka is so neutral. That Blackberry whiskey is strong. It gives you a lot more room for air to put more. Or you can put more ginger beer in there. But today's the perfect day for it. It's fucking screaming hot outside. And it's going to be screaming hot. Can you make that a sound? That's going to be a mix. Mine and yours. One of these days, instead of booking a regular session, we're just going to have a sound effect session. That's actually pretty hilarious. We should do that. It's on our Patreon.

Sorry, guys, you don't get a Patreon this week, but you're going to get sound effects. Yeah, I like it. You're going to be mad when you punch me, and I'm like, yeah, take it. Oh, my God. Does it even hurt? Harder, Daddy. Does it even hurt? I will walk out of the studio on the spot. Or it's like... By the way, I know this doesn't need to be said, but I'm feeling like this is a second episode and it's not, but we are doing two tonight. I know, and we're only starting right now. So if people are hearing this, there's another one to come a week later. That means you're going to want to tune into that one for sure.

Yeah, exactly. What do you call it when you have a drink before the episode? Pre-game, right? A nightcap? No, wait, that's wrong. this was a discussion before we had a drink before the episode and talked about what we were going to talk about but it was what is it what is it like when you know fuckers i thought i knew i know the word pregame i thought there was another word for it i don't know what i'm thinking i'm sure somebody's yelling at the radio i mean exactly like there's another word for it there's a cocktail hour stuff they'll do before uh dinner like that but i wouldn't have called that i've always called it a pre-game but i did see the funny thing where there was some kid that mom what's what's pre-game and she goes well that's when you beat before and you have some drinks and then you go to the bars the dad's like that's when we get to the field to stretch for our game that we have tonight she's like wow there's a little difference there i think that's pretty good cultural differences yeah we used to do we used to do the beer shares all the time and it was like you don't pre-game a beer share because no that's a terrible idea and what were you gonna say logan sorry before we move on i just wanted to say this because he'll appreciate hearing it we've been doing this show together for just about nine months congrats gentlemen and uh this is my favorite drink oh holy shit yep put that in your pipe and smoke it nerds i told you it was Why are you coming in hot like that we fucking said, like, gee!

I don't know. Trauma. I don't know. I don't know how to take compliments. I had to lash out. Why? It's because I said his last drink sucked, that he made that taste like toothpaste. This is true. That actually is true. It also was pretty good. That wasn't good. Alright, let's talk about this one. This one's great. Everybody should have it. But I think it's a combination. There's been lots of other great ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the high flavor, hyper fresh, hot day, it's just hitting perfect. I did work out well. I feel like when we walked in, you could use this one, too. This was a good thing for you.

You felt like a little ready for one of these. Of course you are. I'm doing great. You're doing great. You heard him rocking out to that music when we walked in. That's right. I tried to show him my nipples. Do you want to know what I was doing? I was watching a TikTok. I've got a new channel on TikTok of this guy who watches people try and drive boats through the specific inlet that's really horrible. I know which one you're talking about. And he always, like, it's like a sports competition. Dude, I love these. They're like, six, blue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't seen this one, but we've talked on a previous one about, like, the guys who pull up chairs and just watch people try to dock their boats, and it's the funniest shit in the world.

Yeah. I still, you can make some money doing that. I've seen those before, those guys just have a sign. Fifteen bucks, we'll back it in for you. We're professionals. All day long, like, here you go. Here's the problem. I wouldn't want to do it even if I'm good, because like what's the insurance do if something goes wrong it's still covered under you have your insurance for your car it's like letting your buddy borrow your car yeah that's true yeah yeah something happens to it it's covered i the guy might be pissed but if you're good at it you're back and you're fucking better than he is by far yeah he can't do it so sorry i no i was just gonna say i i find it funny the channels and i think this is kind of the spirit of what he was saying but like even like golf i've seen this where somebody's sitting there with like a speaker and they're like commentating as a person.

It's like a sports commentator as they're trying to do this. Yeah. The golf ones are great. This guy looks like he definitely cheats on his wife. They try to get you to step away from your golf and laugh. I haven't done one yet, but a guy I work with, one of the golf tournaments this year, one of the charity ones, they had a guy there, and that was the thing. If he'd get you to step away, get you to laugh, and then you had to pay so much for it or something like that. That's hilarious. get up there and oh it was um eric hansen from z102.9 was the one that was busting on everybody oh really yeah he was the guy that was up there doing it yeah yeah it was a local one here hey if anyone's listening we will do that i would love i would happily do that um another one that i saw though was like this guy is just in his backyard and the whole it's not the tea box the hole just comes up to his yard so when everybody anybody's like ball lands there he's there and he's like a hush tone he's like and he's stretching for his shot it's the funniest shit he's just sitting in his backyard with speakers like taunting people have you seen the ones where the guys act like they got hit in their yard why yeah there'll be like a ball that hits off the house and they go lay in the yard oh my god and the guys are come up like and they're like ah Or the other one Have you seen the There's like I don't know How real Whatever But there's like

Girls calling their dads I told this cop That you fell off the ladder And I'm on my way home Yeah And this guy's like I just fucking got off an airplane I just got home from being here She's like I'm gonna be there I'm pulling up like any minute Like you need to hurry up I can't get a ticket He's like what He's like God I hate you And then she pulls up He's like He's like oh it hurts so bad he literally looks around and he's like where the fuck's the cop and he's like you're in on it too he's like fucking tiktok and he's like saying it's always a dad or a husband but in my head I'm like good dad right there take one for the team yeah god I'm just trying to think of the name of that golf thing they like call it something like it's like you're trying to get them to back off their swing it's been a whole thing it took over my tiktok feed for like a week because some of them are great have you seen the polite cat calling damn girl you look like you never have crumbs in your bed and the girls are so happy like I don't we out here being nice I think that's so fucking funny you always say thank you don't you yeah bet you bag your own groceries anyway yeah it's fun to see some of that different shit that's pretty entertaining which at one hand i'm like um good for them to see that i'm glad to see like something like that get popular and i'm also like why did i think i know something like that simple because you look at it they're like that has you know 500 000 views yeah you know do you ever like i just some of these

things i'm just like why didn't we come up with this because we find it hilarious and like it's just i don't know i mean we don't have that we've had great ideas yeah just those instantaneous kind of well i think it's a lot like when we started this right like we felt like we just did it you know a lot of people just get out the camera and do something with it you know i mean like we haven't changed what we set out to do us sitting in a bar having a conversation about something yeah we put a little structure behind it but that's about it you know what i mean and then we decided to do it that i think that sometimes that's you have these little ideas it's like i have to remind myself that we we like it's easy for us to be critical of ourselves in that way oh yeah like there's plenty of people who are like oh i wish i had tried to do a podcast and just done this type of thing too so and it's also easy to look at it and be like why didn't i think of that you don't know of the hundred things they tried that didn't work that's true or even the amount that goes into a video like that that you're like well that looked easy it was only 15 seconds yeah it probably took three hours of filming and do it you know i mean all the work that went into you don't see all that stuff you know i mean so i always think back to vine do you Do you remember Vine?

Yeah. That ended up being... I mean, did TikTok turn into... I can't remember. Somebody bought it out musically or something. But Vine, I think you only had 10 seconds, maybe? That was the max you could do. I never... Seven. Seven? I never did. It's really short. I was never... Me and Logan, my son did one or two, just to be fun. But that one, I just noticed people missed a lot. They were throwing spaghetti at the wall, but it's like you saw all the stinkers, too. You know what I mean? whereas TikTok now everyone's like they'll have it up for like a week and they're like oh it didn't get any viewers and they just take it now so it's like you don't see them but Vine they were everywhere. That being said feel free to like and follow and join any one of our social media pages and if we put a video out just help us out a little bit. Yeah and please tell us how much like people don't need to start podcasts and you know make all those comments. We love it.

The price of podcast equipment needs to go up. That always one of my favorite ones That is my favorite Yeah Which I feel bad for Logan because they talking shit to him You know what I mean You got him right there You got him!

He tried so hard to muster words. I had a spicy chip in my mouth. And I tried to open my mouth and it went right back. Watch it with some mule. Yeah, nobody needs to have a podcast. But also, I think everybody should have a podcast. You know what I mean? And if you do, you should do it to upload media. Might as well. There it is. Right on cue. Pretty good little place here. Yeah. That being said, kind of got a topic I want to go here. I'm excited about this one. The credit goes back to Benjo again. Remote producer Ben, as you listen for a while, has always sent us a bunch of things, took a little time off, but he hit me with the other morning.

he goes hey i got something for you for the podcast oh hold on i want to find this actually you know yeah yeah so yep you know whatever senate at like one o'clock in the morning oh no it's midnight that's the one o'clock for us oh it was actually it was almost one o'clock yeah um if you could wake up and be somebody anybody throughout time doesn't matter who they were who would you be so he said he thinks frank sinatra in the 60s no questions asked that'd be the greatest thing and if you think a little bit about frank sinatra he like obviously entertainer you know got all the chicks but on top of that and money but he also was he could do anything in vegas right like i mean he could he just walked around and did anything there but he also could pretty much fucking do anything in new york you know i mean which is a pretty cool thing to be like so which sparked the interest of us to see who would you be um it's hard to pick one it's very difficult to pick one uh so i broke out a couple categories that i thought we could talk about a little bit from there and then i did pick one that i think i believe in a lot than I think could be. So do that one last because that's like, yeah.

So some top athletes, all right? Athletes, that's a good life. To me, there's only one. Okay. Well, there's more, but okay, also one more caveat. Is it, we're obviously just, this is hypothetical, duh, but is it you become them and then you have their whole life or is it like, no, I just want to be Frank Sinatra in the 60s? So he said it just kind of like a 10-year block, right? Okay. So yeah, because everybody's going to have their I don't want his old ass when he got old, but you know, JFK had a pretty cool life, but you don't want the end. Okay. So yeah. But I mean, you think about some athletes here.

Who do you think? Jordan just comes to mind because it's like, he's still crushing it. He's always going to be worth all the money. He gets to golf every day, live his best life. He had won championships. He was world renowned. He's always going to be, he's everything. You kind of like, I would take that. I would take that. I would take that. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit of a cheapskate, they say, but. Reminds me of that song. He's everything you want He's everything you need So, I mean, but there's been rumors with him with the gambling problems and stuff like that. I don't know when you want to be living that I mean, when you can be anybody, would you want to run the risk that that could be a thing?

He's also never in the public eye, though So it's like he somehow has pulled it off to where it's like he just gets to do his thing You know? Or Tiger I was going to say Tiger, but that's why I asked But I mean, Tiger from like Yeah, that 10-year run 98 to 2008 or whatever, you know what I mean? Whatever. That would be pretty fucking stellar. That's when he was married to maybe one of the hottest women on the earth and clearly fucking everybody else too. Yes, he was. He was a busy boy. And won every fucking tournament. Yeah. Alex Rodriguez had a good run where he dated basically every hot person of the year.

I had A-Rod and Jeter. Yeah. And a lot of that's New York, right? Yeah. imagine that and i also had mickey mantle on the list so if you've ever seen anything with that like mickey mantle used to be that's a good one like a big party or like kind of one of those deals back in the day um tom brady oh yeah and he's wrong how long he played for he was so good and kind of had a couple hot women there yeah mike tyson yeah great till prison well yeah you know But I mean, at one point, he was the most feared man. Like, how cool to be, to be, like, fucking feared. And, like, you know what I mean? Like, he was, that'd be kind of badass.

He still scares the shit out of me. Right. I've heard other people, like, they're like, he's, like, intimidated to interview. Like, I heard Rogan say that. Like, fuck this. A couple times, I was worried he was just going to come over. Dude, yeah, he said the reason, I think this was old. He was, like, the first time he was on, then he, like, built a new studio or whatever. And the table was, like, wider. Yeah. And he goes, I did that because it was so scary being that close. or when he got intense. Someone that could just literally kill me. Another athlete I had was John Daly. Just because. I would take him any time in his career.

Well, you think about if you're going to live that life, he's fucking always been who he is. You know what I mean? Kind of like a... I don't know if there's an athlete that ever owned it more and longer than he has. Yeah. This is what I am. That's what it was. Yeah. When you told me about this, my brain didn't really go to athletes because I just feel like their tenure is kind of short-lived. You know what I mean? Like most of them. Not all of them. Sure. most of them they have this range that there's a superstar and then they get old you're right yeah but not all the ones we said that's also why the ones that i named were about a 10 year you know i mean they were like and jordan's obviously been a little bit longer with everything's but um you could probably put other people at lebron or whatever i don't you know i mean there's other names you put on here and you guys can think about that or whatever that you want but i still don't think that i would come back as an athlete even though they're cool like i don't think that'd be the one no i don't i mean that's it's you know if we're if we're talking like let's have fun yeah they're still training and playing the game and do all the work yeah it's a lot of work so if you're that person you also have to go fucking take the punches if you're mike tyson yeah even though he did like knock how many people you have to take that or you know all the workouts that you had to do or you know yeah yeah brady how many times ray lewis hex sack you know like whatever Yeah, so I agree.

That's the thing. But you get to have sex with Gisele Bundchen. That's a good trade-off. Yeah, there's worse ways to spend your spare time. All right, another category I had. Musicians. There could be a ton on here, right? Which would be pretty fucking cool. But some big ones that I put on there. Elvis. Yeah. I mean, again, it's not always the way he ended. But it's like they were the biggest of their generation. So I left Michael Jackson off this list just because even when he was popular, I don't want to be that. You know what I mean? He was too big. Well, if he really does have sex with boys, I don't have any interest in that.

But I also don't think he was. It's just not my style. Even without that, a lot of tortured soul stuff. Yeah. Like shitty life. His dad was terrible. But like Elvis had his run right there where he was kind of running the world there. Any one of the Beatles. Yeah No, you don't want to be John Lennon Have you heard Yoko Ono talk? Holy shit I would have shot myself Maybe he did No Maybe he did Mick Jagger? Mick Jagger's a good one Justin Timberlake would be a good one Oh, that was my next one on the list Was it really? Yeah, but not Again, it all has a run He's not doing so hot right now Not now, but he had a fucking run of like And he's still married to Jessica Biel How much pussy do you think he got during NSYNC?

All of it. Swimming in it. Just no limit. Dave Matthews? No. Yes. No, you say that. You can say that, but think of his hot run. I would like to be him for a day. I want to experience his life in the midst of a tour and all that for a day. People also forget he still tours like crazy, and they sell out everywhere. it's like i mean they have quite the following i just can't like i just saw a clip because i'm i'm a fan i get a lot of shit on the shorts like he he just posted this one he stops like in the middle of the set and he's like half the time you can't tell what he's saying because he he's awkward he does dave speak yeah But this one, he's like, yeah, I wore these pants one time to a wedding, and now I'm wearing them tonight, and they're not very good.

I'm not really enjoying wearing these pants tonight. Because they're falling off or something. But he had a great set. It reminds me of like, dynamite drop-in, Dave.

He's just standing here talking to sold-out crowds and just like, ah, these pants are great. That's the thing. He does not give a single shirt. And he also doesn't realize how awkward he is, I don't think, half the time. He's actually been in a lot of TV shows and movies, and he's fucking amazing. He's very skilled. And like, whatever. There was a time when all he did was listen to his music. And I can think of every hot girl I know wanted to sleep with him at one point. So I can't imagine. It's true. Tommy Lee. Oh, man. That's a good one. I mean, because how many other of those rock stars could you put?

I mean, there's millions of you put on there. I figured you just wanted to borrow the lower half. I was just going to say, he is hung like a mule. Yeah, but you hear him. He's like one of those things he just never had to grow up. He never fucking had to grow up. No, I don't think he still has to this day. No, he still hasn't grown up. He never had to. And then I kind of had the old hidden gem out there, John Mayer. Yeah, isn't he known for just sleeping with everybody? He slept with every hot celebrity. Yeah, like Jennifer Aniston, Katie Perry. All of them. All of them. Which I feel like he did it under the radar for a long time.

And then it just kind of all came out. And I was like, oh. And he was also just the accepted one. They're like, yeah, that's okay. Yeah. No one was ever mad at him. They're like, oh, he's a huge dickhead. The body's a wonderland. He's good. He's good. He's good in bed. Yeah. Yeah. So.

Again, I would be a musician over an athlete. Yeah. Because I just think it'd be so fun to entertain. Musicians also can take time off. Like athletes can. You know what I mean? the longevity of it. You get to choose when your career's over. But most musicians end in some sort of drug battle or something like that. So you live hard. Yeah, but if you want to take a run at one, it's like, maybe I just want to have a 10-year fucking drug run. In which case, take Tommy Lee out of that list. As long as you make good music, all you got to do is go to rehab and come right back, right? You're accepted every time.

And you really only got to rehab to get you out of whatever trouble you're in. Exactly. It's not really the question. I lost myself. I'm sorry. I was a sex addict. Yeah. All right. Actor?

What's some names there? George Clooney had to be in there. Clooney, Leo. Brad Pitt. Will Smith. He got jiggy with it. Well, I mean, he had a run. I don't want to be him now, but I mean, he had a run there. Keep his wife's name out your fucking mouth. Yeah. Notice I did not put her on the list. Don't do that. Arnold. yeah have you ever heard bill burr stand up when he talks about arnold no i mean i've heard but not that he's like this guy's a fucking legend he talks well yeah i you know i can't do any justice it's so good just fucking looking up just just google it bill burr and his stand up in his stuff about arnold's it's so fucking good he's done but it's amazing what this man has conquered oh yeah that he's actually done you know mr olympian you know um then to governor governor which makes no sense he fucking married a kennedy yeah you know he was one of the biggest actors ever paid you know i mean like everything he just hits home now he has chris as a son-in-law that's all he fucking does yeah i mean just lines him up um or then jack nicholson ooh and again he had a generational run for his time you know what I mean that would have been like back you know 60s 70s yeah he was nailing everybody yeah or you heard some of those like some old Hollywood stuff that'd be kind of fucking cool and then I had

kind of a miscellaneous category okay Elon Musk Mark Zuckerberg I put Harry Carey Harry Carey All you're doing is watching every Cubs game You get to be drunk every day That's your day You and I are big Cubs fans We had to watch every Cubs game We could drink while we were doing it That is a really good pick Daily fucking podcast He came close He did Neil Armstrong Or did he In this story We don't have our tinfoil hats on I know, I know. I'm stopping. We're assuming he did, so that'd be pretty cool.

Notice I didn't have a list that had Mother Teresa or anybody did anything really good. We're trying to have fun. But that's not the life we're trying to have. That was one thing I was going to bring up, not to put you on the spot, but I think it's worth acknowledging. Did you list any women? No.

Notable. For 10 years, I don't feel like seeing another wiener, so that's me. I understand there's plenty of women out there, but I figure if I am a woman, I'm going to have to have sex with a dick and I'm not going to want it. That's where my mouth is. But you would be a woman. Important distinction, right? It's very difficult for me to get to. I immediately went to, I want to be Yvonne Straharski and I'm going to stay in bed all day. Like, no dudes allowed. Okay. Oh, just. That's where my mind went to right away. I'm never leaving now. After a week, I'd be like, all right. Yeah, I agree. I agree.

I was more in the mindset of like a day or two or something, not like eternity. Well, and it's also tough because it's like, are you, what are the rules of the game? Are you becoming them or are you yourself in their life? No, you're them. Right. You got to be them. You might be, you're aware of it. You know what I mean? But you're going to act the way that they act. Like you're not going to. So then most of the women would potentially like hooking up with men. I know. Yeah. But you are aware of it. So I'd be like, oh, Shaun, you're being violated. That's great. I love how the rules shift. It's convenient for you.

My game. Yeah, exactly. I make the rules here. This isn't a perfect fucking game here. I understand it, but yes, that was the only reason that I couldn't get over. Did you have a, like, did you come to a, my all time person that I think fucking wins the caveat is fucking Prince Harry. Okay Really Why Endless money No real responsibility he basically on scholarship his entire life okay think about this like william his brother had to do all the fucking he had to be the good one here he just every day was delivered to him and he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to that's true but there's so many rules around like like they really can't like you can't be caught doing anything wrong like you don't really get caught they took like cover everything up. You think those guys don't have that shit covered up? I hope so.

They used to. But he never shot him. He still got married. Didn't he become a soldier but just on his own? He's actually a good dude. No, then we can get into Meghan Markle. The soldier thing they all do. That was his thing before because his brother was the prince and he was the leader of the commander of the army. Gotcha. I don't follow that family because we fought a war so we don't have to. But he's literally think about that you're a fucking prince red white awesome baby yeah you're a fucking prince you're on like like i heard everyone's like the guy's just he's on scholarships all life yeah never no real responsibility gets all the fucking good stuff with it um is labeled a prince but never has to worry about it's a good point on the shit of being king because like you're to your point yes there's all kinds of shit you have to follow when you are the king or the queen there's all that really you have to make really shitty bad decisions right or choices and he he gets out of that um have you seen the crown on netflix parts of it yeah so i've seen different stuff that i think it gives a different perspective of like they do have responsibilities and things that they have to do but you're right in in comparison to our daily lives they live a very posh well especially but also the crown was set back like in 2020 or whenever he was born it's like he's probably had a pretty fucking but even throughout that it shows like that they do have things like they have engagements they have to go do they have to be

like the face of sure the crown and things like that so there are things that they have to do and that can be stressing and problematic it can be but again compared to us in the house william was one shouldering all the responsibility you had to be good and harry could just fucking really can you imagine like you're walking on your robe and he's like oh i have to get ready for this he's like must be rough and he's like drinking fucking cognac walking around loser hey good luck with your speech today i'm gonna go take the royal bath with my princess yeah so i'm sorry he was just as far as i'm concerned it's a good pick he just had endless i mean yes he has responsibilities but just endless opportunity and just never had to be the one that you know he got he was at every party at every function listed as a prince but never really had to worry about yeah no it's it's a good pokes i never would have thought of that but you're right it's like you're rich and he no matter what he's never going to be the king well unless he pulls it would have had to happen early but then the minute william had kids he's out yeah so i'm good he's good so um as far as i'm certain that is the i don't know that's that for 10 years yeah which could also lead us to can we talk about how amazing meg and markle must be that he pretty much gave all that shit up and went, you know.

I know, and they tried to, again, I don't know a lot about this stuff, but they tried to vilify the fuck out of her, I think, like her past or whatever. I'm like, well, she's got to be pretty cool because he didn't have to do that. Well, I know he gave up a bunch of shit, but I'm with you. I don't know enough about it to know. I mean, have you seen Suits? Yeah. She's amazing. I would. She's on the list. Yep. Drink this. Oh, she's on the list. Yeah. She's not like that in real life.

You don't know, Shaun. Let him live that They don't really spin like that on TV. Hater. All right, Mike, where are you at? So I had two. Some of mine were on there. Obviously, the super rich people like Elon Musk and then Jordan. But I thought of a couple old people. One was Genghis Khan. Did you say Genghis? That's how you say his name. I'm sorry that you guys aren't fucking history buffs like I am. His name is Genghis. and why all you laugh let me talk about why he's fathered more children than anything exactly all he's doing is fucking and conquering that's it raping no you don't know that you weren't there alright his DNA is still Logan are you okay he's not gonna be okay he spun around so fast I thought he was gonna throw up we have multiple layers I thought this was a great pull like I when we started I didn't think this was gonna be the episode I got canceled.

What? I'm just saying. He's on the phone with his lawyer right now. Can we say this? I'm just saying Jengis B. Rapin'. Yeah, Jengis B. Rapin'. I don't know if that happens. I'm just saying he has a legacy that's still going on to this day. So if you care about legacy, that's kind of cool. You know what I mean? And, you know, war is not cool, but it's cooler when you're winning. You won a lot of them. So that's all I'll say about that. I mean, I was going to go down this level, but I was going to be like, do you pick Hitler? And then you just don't be that person? You do better? You know what I mean?

You stop and save things? You said we can't control him. Genghis Khan. That's wrong. It's wrong. Quit using AI. Genghis Khan. Genghis Khan. Fuck off.

Hey, Genghis be raping, but Genghis, great guy. great guys yeah his more handsome stepbrother yeah exactly yeah I didn't say which one Cengiz is my neighbor down the street he's a piece of shit but me you can trust me so anyway that one and then if I wanted like a really fun one just to be like no not as fun as Cengiz but like to find fun like if you wanted just a crazy life of like I'll have you do this. Logan, if you... Or actually, I can look it up. No, what do you want? Okay. Look up Winston Churchill's daily routine. Oh. Because if you've never heard this, it's a pretty fun day.

He was very good with his time, but he also had a lot of fun in a day. Okay. This is the AI answer, so I'm going to assume this is pretty close to right. Okay. Winston Churchill lived by an unorthodox but highly productive schedule. He essentially completed two full work days in 24 hours, anchored by a multi-course lunch an afternoon nap and a late night work session fueled by cigars and alcohol. Stay with me. I was saying, does it do it by the hour? Okay. So 7.30 a.m. to 11 a.m. awoke but stayed in bed where he ate a full breakfast, read multiple newspapers, and dictated correspondence to his secretaries.

This was accompanied by a cigar and his first drink of the day, a weak scotch and soda. 11 to 1, got out of bed, strolled through the garden to supervise his estate, and enjoyed another whiskey and soda before returning to his study to work. 1 to 3.30 held a formal multi-course lunch with guests, family, and prominent political figures, typically accompanied by an imperial pint of champagne and brandy. Atta boy. 3.30 to 5 returned to his study to work on state papers, books, and writing projects, often enjoying a glass of cognac. 5 to 6.30 took a mandatory one and a half hour afternoon nap. Churchill credited this siesta with allowing him to fit 16 to 17 hours of work into a single day.

6.30 to 8 woke up took a hot bath and dressed for dinner often accompanied by another cigar and drink 8 to midnight held an elaborate lengthy dinner with guests political colleagues or foreign leaders drinking more champagne port and brandy and then midnight to 2 a.m returned to his study for his primary writing and brainstorming session smoking cigars and sipping more cognac or scotch finally retiring to bed until he passed out that's uh burt kreischer always does that have you ever seen that before like he does Winston Churchill Day. He tries to do that. Yeah, he tries to do like... He has his own variation of it, but has his own like... He wakes up, he has a cigar, breakfast in bed, like the whole...

We should do that. We should do that. We should celebrate that. I have a feeling that... We could do Hunter S. Thompson Day if you'd rather do that, but I wouldn't recommend it. I can't handle that many drugs. His was like... I'm pretty sure it was like drugs and booze constantly every two hours or whatever. Pretty good ones. but yeah so i just thought like you know if you want to have just a fun 10 years where it's like you're prominent you're well known but you work hard but you also drink hard and play hard yeah and you build a legacy he's got a legacy not as good as jengis but yeah so what what do you have okay did you have one i do who do you think uh so i said one before because I was like, you know, if I'm in a body for a day, pick somebody on the list. Hold on, I have an idea what you're going to say.

Mother Teresa? No. My, like, number one what is it called? Hall pass, Yvonne Straharski. Yeah. So, you know, just for a day. You just want to be there and play DJ all day? Yes. Okay, that makes sense. So. I don't know. I think after a day you're going to be like, okay, well, this is cool. Yeah. Well, that was awesome. Yeah. Yeah. I need more going on. I really wish I was Tiger Woods about now.

You're probably not going to look that great after I drink all this whiskey. That's true. Anyway, I love just watching Logan's faces by the way when we talk. There's such disappointment without saying a word. His eyes are just judging us. trying to think of like legally how i can make sure i'm separated so uh the on the more serious note for me i went down the path of like um technology pioneers because like because i i work in technology and i just think of like how did i how was i not somebody that came up with a that big idea you know that next big idea i've always like struggled with that like why because i always have ideas but then they don't you know yeah either pan out or or i don't you don't follow through go to that point of like making it one that i've talked about i'm just gonna say it because it doesn't matter anymore it's all in the past but the whole idea of touch tunes and you could play it from your phone and request songs i had that way before that they did that yeah there was jukeboxes and bars and you could like go up there and you could put money in you could use a credit card but like i was like why can't we have wi-fi and like right do basically apple play to the look at you eric i had it and i never chased it they were probably already making it still because i mean it came around four years you had an idea though before you saw it hanging on the wall so that's my only one that i was like i regret that so much

but like things like i think about people like the people that started the internet the people that you know created the iphone and i think of those things and how like being a pioneer in that space and being able to develop that that's like a legacy i would love to yeah leave behind that's one of those things that i think about i have to step away for one second okay for kids i would be more of an inventor of the first guy that came up with a sports bra i'm supporting women you know that's where i really want to stand here the ladies bicycle seat you know that'd been all right what movie is that from you be the ball if i'm going to be a piece of sports equipment i'm being ladies bicycle seat so here's here's an interesting one it's not um it was one that i thought of like while we were doing this um think about like the people that created the behavioral analysis unit for the fbi like they basically just sat around and interviewed serial killers to like create profiles like you're getting to ask these crazy motherfuckers but they're like locked up behind a cage but you're getting to ask them like man i don't know if i want to know that shit i know it's like you want to know like there's been a couple of movies like documentary like um fact-based fiction sure shows about it and it's so interesting like but i don't know to me like a serial killer or something like that that's fucking scary you know i mean like

the boogeyman the blah blah is whatever but like just someone who just fucking serial kill you know i mean like this like but they're trying to get to the premise of it like because it's it is something broken in a person right i think it's amazing good work i'm just saying i can't imagine doing that like you know i mean like i just couldn't imagine that just it just seems like be so dark you know or because i've heard like um you know the the cops that do the cold cases or those like murder you know i mean like they only make it for soul right because they just have to eat it like they just start seeing so much that they just can't do it anymore you know i mean like the no i'm thinking of that you're saying like crime scene people yeah they're whatever there used to be a show of it whatever that dexter no it was one of it was one of the ones that was on forever like it was the you know criminal minds criminal well criminal minds is the behavioral now well that's another one but there's a criminal one where basically they see it's like kids and shit oh svu yeah yeah law and order and most people if they get on that squat if they make it 10 years it's just because of what they see now you have ptsd for the rest of your life that's the thing like that would be really tough yeah even with the serial killer thing like if they were like child murder wait who said they wanted to be a serial killer if they could i said no eric said He wanted to be a serial killer.

It got really weird. It did. It got really weird. Jeffrey Dahmer. Which one? You weren't supposed to find out about this. Oh, that makes more sense, actually. It really started with, we should kill Mike. I've been watching lots of things we should do. It wouldn't be that hard, guys. I was saying the behavioral analysis unit, how that started, they basically interviewed all the serial killers. I thought that was really interesting. Did you ever watch the show on the profilers or whatever? Was that mine? yeah you're right it's mine something mine hunter mine hunter i think so yeah i love that it's really good i wish they'd bring it back dude in the casting that they pull off like they did really well like almost every seal of color you're like fuck is that him like sometimes that's what i'm saying when you see those things you're like god that's like real there's like somebody that does that job you know i mean like yeah sees that dark shit every day so yeah anyways i don't know i think we had a good run of it i'm a little disappointed i thought you guys would be more impressed with Prince Harry.

I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no. I'll just be honest. That was a terrible pick. No, I'm kidding. I'd give you a Chris Pye 5 for Meghan Markle. True, true. Would you like to hear some of the internet's answers? Yes, and yours if you have one. I do have an answer. I think it's Tom Hanks. Why? That's who you'd be? Yeah I mean talk about most beloved most successful steady life all the way through like you know has done amazing things has done great stuff has been at the top like basically since he started right yeah and he's so well spoken just in general for sure yeah yeah like just just to like exemplify as a good life you know yeah it's not like the the craziest of highs that come with the lowest of lows like it is like tom hanks is the guy as far as i'm concerned i agree it's true because like you said like we brought up like brad pitt and all stuff it's like he had some bad years drugs and all stuff he's had some bad shit said about him you know you didn't say nick cage i kind of was kind of surprised no i didn't because again i'm with him finding 10 years in a straight span is a little bit rough because i just watched like parts of the rock again today i'm like fuck that movie's so good but his is very spliced up and like the tom hanks thing too like there are different eras of his life you could go back to like his like earlier movie career where he's the guy like he is the rom-com like top of the box

office beloved guy and that would be like an awesome yeah experience too you know instead of just like the iconic dad that we all know yeah true yep now there's nothing wrong with it for you i think it's oh yeah it's where we it's no prince harry i'm sorry this is where we differ I want a life of booze and women and crazy fucking runs. Hello, Churchill! I don't want the good guy. I imagine that Tom Hanks has had some good booze. That's true. And some good women. Probably. I mean, that's true, because we're all pretty good guys, so it's kind of like Devil's Advocate is like, I want to be bad for 10 years.

I want a pill person. I want to experience a different life. But I think Tom did a good job of nobody knowing about it, and like that's there's like a there's a and he's you know kind of out of it now before the era of everything is on the internet right so what i'm saying is you only got one to pick and so you're robbing it you're risking it if you get there you're like he really was as good yeah he doesn't drink he doesn't he goes to bed at eight every night yeah yeah well that's how i feel about like some of the other ones like the athletes in particular like tom brady like sure that guy's his life sucks.

Yeah. Like the way he had to live his life to achieve that. Yeah. You're wearing the rings, but like you're, you're eating nothing and you're working out like crazy. Seaweed every day. And I mean, like he, he went to extremes on a lot of things. I mean, years at a time, no processed food, no sugar, no wheat, no, like it was chicken and vegetables. I agree. Yeah. Like we talked about that. So it wouldn't be that one. And then he did drink and threw the Lombardi trophy. which was one of the coolest so that's where like can I be in the moments because I want to be that kind of drunk but I want to be him that's a cool movie idea you're like just hop into the like big moments of people's lives greatest moment of everyone's life and fuck them up I'm trademarking that you can't take it I wouldn't yeah you might want to take this out get out of here okay here's some of the internet's answers the one I've seen the most often is No, and I want to be my own person.

That's not the theme. Get out of here. Learn how to use the internet. What a great podcast. And we're over. Good answer. Brought to you by our sponsor. Keanu Reeves. Don't think I need to say why. That's what they said. That's a good one. Jack Black. I'd be pretty much the same, but publicly funny instead of privately.

Taylor Swift, because she has the closest to a perfect life of any living person sure that means she popped up my people buy her trash so it's actually where i that's how do you know you've made it people buy your trash i don't need travis coming after me that's where i was like oh that mahogany oh yeah i mean listen i was saying a song about it so i don't want that one to be the first one first one i take here some good answers on here um this is actually my answer i wrote this uh i was gonna say no thank you but then i remembered enya lives in a castle with her cat you mean enigma throwback i think podcasts are just like the accumulation of inside jokes yeah over 100 episodes that's a good way to say that yeah i like that uh paris hilton be rich go blonde and spend money getting on red carpets.

Then well into your 40s, you still get to party as a DJ, but have a kid and husband in a gigantic mansion built by Marky Mark. Even with having a sex tape leak. And give away whatever a billion Hilton points or something that she's doing. Oh, I didn't even see that. It's weird. It's just like now they're trying to make her the face of the Hilton. Oh, really? I started to respect her game, man. She's still in it. Monkey from Dora the Explorer. What the fuck? I don't know. It's nonsense. I'm like, yeah. The happiest famous author? I don't know what that would be. Is there such a thing, though? Like, most authors are, like, tortured.

Tortured. Yeah. I feel like it's kind of like a... That's why they're, like, the happiest. Yeah. I don't know who that would be. Yeah. But George R.R. Martin's pretty happy. For writing as such dark shit as he does, but... No. Then they made TV shows that pissed him off. It's true. Maybe he was happy. Yeah. He was happy until they took over. HBO got a hold of him. Yeah. Bette Midler. jeez and then this is the best one britney spears so i can sniff my own stinky feet god what a life thanks internet yeah but at least i i appreciate that these people are using the internet right don't say myself i mean no one cares that's reddit yeah a couple other like serious answers i saw in this article it's from 2015 but a good one was lauren michaels oh sure that's a really good one I don't think he's ever had any scandals or anything that's a different kind of a genre or like a different way of thinking but like you spend your entire life with famous people just doing like partying with them and hanging out with them and you're like renowned by them even because of like oh he's such an eye for talent and like hilarious people not just people you want to have fun with this article is from 2015 but Carrie Fisher was on here oh yeah she passed away Jack Nicholson was mentioned here. Oh, what's his name?

He got Harvey. Steve, right? Wasn't he really good? That's not where I went. Nope. It's a no. You trying to burn this podcast down? Oh my God. Yeah, you brought up Prince Harry and I was like, what about Prince Andrew? Oh, never mind. Like that didn't go well. Guess we're not getting any clips from this one.

Can you say demonetized? First we gotta be monetized. Oh yeah, I forgot. Sorry, my bad. the very top one on this article too was uh kanye sure that was the top one yeah again 2015 i don't know what was happening in 2015 necessarily but he was a little more on the up and up then yeah he hadn't gone full-on crazy dude next time we we need to have another conspiracy one because i kind of went down a rabbit hole recently on him and holy shit like i won't get too into it but like he said some outlandish shit but that i like read about like some things that happened to him behind the scenes that have been proven you're like oh fuck okay so I'm not going to say shit to wave our tin hats on but yeah so we'll save that for that because I heard something today I think we're due for another one I think we're due for another one soon it's so fucking hot we need something other than tinfoil to protect our dome yeah let's not do it during this fucking week of 95 degree heat actually it feels really good in here though actually it does well also we're getting the coke sets off screaming cold mules which helps too so not to sound stupid I don't drink mules i really i've had one before but i don't drink them a lot this is why they use these because they get screaming they're also like the ice takes a lot longer to melt yeah but it does melt a little bit because i almost used the square like block ice but i'm like i think it's supposed to melt a little bit i have i have this like nice little citrus juniper gin drink long drink if you yeah i haven't perfect follow-up there was still ice in the glass you just poured it really what

brewery is that? It's like a seltzer kind of, but it's from Finland. It's a Finnish thing. I have a Miller Lite. It's not quite the same. I'll tell you what, the fucking blackberries. I had all the blackberries. It was delicious. I ate one so I could try this. Let's pour a little bush light in there and give it the old Iowa go and see what happens. That was good. Alright, that was a successful topic. No, that was great. Thank you, Ben. We miss hearing from you. Thanks, Joe. That was a real good one. We don't pay him enough. He's really been slacking lately. He's on strike. Fuck these guys.

Yeah. God, I have a we're so cool, but I don't know if we have time to talk about it. We definitely don't have time to talk about this one. So I'm going to save that for next one. But I did have something to bring up. Doesn't something chip your ass? One of you? Oh, you have one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can run a little over it. That's fine. I have a chap's my ass How long are we talking? I got to pee So I mean nobody's going to disagree on this Let's just be honest We recently bought a car Oh god We don't have time to talk about this We don't because I got a lot to say I'm getting it so mad Just buying a car is that what you said?

Yes You don't have time for that That's a full episode if you want to I was going to say. All right. We'll take this into the next one. Stay tuned. We will get to a buying a car episode. It's just. Chats your ass. Because everybody hearing that goes, fuck yes. Well, without getting into it, I'll just do the whole like, there's got to be a better way. It's just. God. Every person involved was amazing. They did a good job. Why does it still take five fucking hours? Right. Yeah. I don't understand it. I don't like it just. I literally go. That's the car I want. i drove it i'm pre-approved here you go this should be a two-hour process i drove it paperwork done you're out yeah all right do you got a joke or no yeah is it about car salesman no it's totally it's totally random um why ah microphone's in the way it doesn't like me why shouldn't you argue argue with a t-rex because it'll fucking eat you I thought it was going to be something about how it could punch you but it's arms are so little I don't know because you'll get your ass kicked I really like that one I was pretty happy with that one it took a few tries it's almost like a play on my Betty White joke

but I'm not going to say that one You're at Jurassic. You're going to get your ass kicked. I really, really like that one. Have you told the one to Aaron? No. Oh, God. She's going to take your clothes off so fast after that one. I know. She will.

You wait until you guys are home alone to drop that one, and that's going to be. I'm just going to wait. Hey, babe, you might want to sit down for this. I'm not having a great day. I'm just going to pull that card. That's amazing. That is good. I can't believe I've never heard that. That's so good. Yeah. Where did you hear it? You heard it from someone or you looked it up? Yeah, it was AI helped me. God, AI fucking crushed it today. Usually it sucks at that. I know. It's getting better. As long as these data centers keep popping up, it's supposedly supposed to get better. Mine's learning who I am, so it likes my jokes.

Can we talk about data centers one of these times? Can we talk about how that I got to pee? Can we mix on this at least five minutes to watch Shaun squirt? Oh, I have a joke, actually. Oh, perfect. Just give me a few minutes to find it.

Let's sing a rendition of Stairway to Heaven. Have you guys ever heard 99 bottles of beer on the wall? Let's start it. Logan, can you play some, like, Waterfall? That sounds like. Don't go chasing waterfalls. Oh, there you go. That worked. Now I don't have to be so bad anymore. This is going right back up in there.

That's what we call a showstopper. Okay. Oh, last thing I'll say, because it has to go with this with having to piss. We went out on a friend's boat recently, and I gave it another try to try to pee in the water, holding on to a lily pad. I was like, oh, I'm doing it. And it got like right to the tip and stuff. I can't do it. I still can't do it. What? I can't pee in water. My feet have to be on something. He has to put his feet on. So I've learned I can go to the back of Shaun's boat and put my feet on the bottom ring of the ladder, and then I can go. But I can't just pee in water. And by the way, Nick can't either.

I rubbed off on him. He can't piss in water. I don't know what to do with that. You don't have to do anything. I want to be able to piss in the water, and I can't do it. It is one of my absolute favorite things to do in the whole wide world, is to drink beer and pee in the lake. I could drink a case of bush light and just stay in the lake the whole time. Can't do it. I walk to a sandbar or, you know, have Shaun hold my feet, you know, whatever. Yeah, why do you need that? It's so warm.

What are you doing somewhere else? Turn around. This is where, like, when I get a little bit drunk, my impromptu funny comes out. I came up right behind him because I knew what he was doing, and I had a noodle.

Which we tried to stick down to my head. Maybe that would be like a pseudo. He was standing on the ladder, and I had a pool noodle. Oh, that time, yeah. I tried standing on a noodle to see if that would help, but still, I knew it wasn't solid. So it sounds like it's not even a physical thing. I think it's a mental... Yeah, and I don't understand why. I don't get it. You should do hypnosis. I'm good. Does it have to do with not feeling supported enough as a child that you need? Maybe. We definitely don't have time to uncork that fucking time. Hey, are you guys ready to cry on the next Patreon? It's real easy. Yes.

And we're out. Is being supported as a child so cool? I like to think so. There you go. Don't go chasing water. I gotta go. I want so badly to make Shaun not have to be. I don't think you want that. Tenbolt the door. Lock it with a key. I will piss on your floor.

Thank you all for tuning in. Thank you to Benz for supporting our drink as always. we are going to Patreon after this so just a reminder if you haven't sign up for Patreon we oh we never did that offline giveaway the giveaway already happened when this comes out so it'll be happening this week we're blowing my mind right now we're a week ahead no no no that's cool okay sounds good so but yeah we will see you guys next week and we will see our fellow Patreon members in just a minute cheers