Grape Nuts / Class Reunions / Comfort Routines
A box of Grape-Nuts showed up in Mike’s mailbox, and the guys put it to the test—deciding it tastes like “tiny rocks” and could use some serious help.
Quotes from this episode
Grabs you by the prison wallet and doesn't let go.
I felt like this is fitting because this is what you get for a birthday cake when you're old.
It kind of tastes like rocks. If I was eating tiny rocks, there's no flavor to it.
Anything that brings you comfort is cool.
Dad joke
Vote on every joke →Why did the invisible man turn down the job at Walmart? He couldn't see himself doing it.
Band name from this episode
The full lineup →The conversation continues on Patreon
Common Drinking Sayings / Myths
Does this episode get your mahogany moving?
Patrons get the full transcript.
Show notes
A box of Grape-Nuts showed up in Mike’s mailbox, and the guys put it to the test—deciding it tastes like “tiny rocks” and could use some serious help. Over a South Side cocktail, Erik, Mike, and Shaun gripe about political mailers, debate whether class reunions still matter when everyone’s on Facebook, and discover they all park in the same spots out of habit. They also compare notes on fantasy football injuries wreaking havoc on their lineups and save a new ramen topic for another day.
Bullet Points
- The South Side cocktail, its origins, and gin-based drinks
- Weight loss, calorie counting, and nutrition labels
- Political advertising, campaign mailers, and campaign spending
- Class reunions and how social media has changed them
- Trying Grape-Nuts cereal and discussing its taste and nutrition
- Protein marketing and food myths
- Comfort routines, such as favorite parking spots and places to sit
- Streaming subscriptions, changing media companies, and reading glasses
- Fantasy football injuries, guillotine leagues, and close matchups
- Nostalgic convenience foods, including ramen and SpaghettiOs
Timestamps
**Welcome Back and Episode Banter (00:00:30)**
The hosts welcome Shawn back, joke about his absence, and discuss their upcoming live event.
**Drink of the Week: The South Side (00:03:44)**
The hosts taste a gin cocktail, discuss its ingredients and origins, and compare it to a mojito.
**Weight Loss and Oktoberfest (00:08:50)**
Shawn shares his weight-loss progress, and the hosts talk about drinking and Oktoberfest steins.
**Political Mailers and Campaign Ads (00:12:49)**
The hosts complain about political advertising, its expense, and whether it influences voters.
**Are Class Reunions Still Cool? (00:19:21)**
They discuss social media’s impact on reunions, attendance, and reconnecting with classmates.
**Trying Grape-Nuts Cereal (00:27:04)**
The hosts sample Grape-Nuts, discuss its name and nutrition, and debate its taste and texture.
**Protein Marketing and Nutrition Labels (00:34:01)**
Shawn criticizes products that use protein claims as marketing, and the hosts discuss cereal, milk, and nutrition.
**Ramen, SpaghettiOs, and Childhood Foods (00:39:37)**
The hosts talk about upgrading ramen and share opinions on nostalgic, inexpensive canned foods.
**Routines, Habits, and Favorite Spots (00:43:36)**
They discuss routinely choosing the same parking spots, seats, and places, and decide that familiar habits are cool.
**Animated Sound Clip and Media Merger (00:51:15)**
A sound clip leads to a guessing game and discussion of the Warner Bros.–Paramount merger and streaming services.
**Reading Glasses and Aging Eyes (00:56:25)**
The hosts joke about needing reading glasses, discuss Lasik, and consider using AI to read things aloud.
**Patreon Teaser: Drinking Myths (00:59:21)**
Shawn previews a Patreon discussion about common drinking myths.
**Fantasy Football Injuries and Guillotine Leagues (01:00:28)**
The hosts compare fantasy football injuries and scoring heartbreaks, and Shawn explains a guillotine league.
**Dad Joke and Episode Sign-Off (01:08:52)**
Shawn shares an Invisible Man joke, and the hosts thank listeners, event attendees, and sponsors.
Transcript
Tap a timestamp to listen from thereTranscribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.
00:00:00
Welcome to We're Still Cool, Right? The weekly podcast where the conversation flows smoother than top-shelf whiskey. And cool, well, it never really left. Grab a drink and hang out with Erik, Mike, and Shaun while they dive into nostalgia and attempt to answer the age-old question. We're still cool, right?
00:00:30
politicians and diapers must be changed often and for the same reason because they're full of shit I have a chaps my ass later so I just felt appropriate to say that so I have a feeling I know what that is I think you do too but welcome back everybody we are back don't forget to vote and Shaun's back with us Shaun is back why we had Shaun last week imagine what kind of fucking beating I took while I was gone I guess we'll find out here The rest of the episode isn't out yet. It was so good that you're basically Timush on it. Yeah, I knew it was enough that Erik sent me a message afterwards. Hey, man, we really love you.
00:01:10
I said to Mike, I saw him, I go, dude, how freaking rough were you? He goes, I think Erik was just in the whiskey a little bit when he got in. I was like, I really get his feelings pretty good. I don't think it was that bad. I was like, damn, what am I walking into? Here's the thing, though. I've never missed an episode because I care about our listeners more than you guys, but if I I would want you guys to roast the absolute fuck out of me. I need a shots fired button.
00:01:38
Burn! I'll take it. I was in the Emanus porn. Yeah, you were having a terrible time. Do you get beer for free? It's not bad when you get paid. For anyone who's not subscribed, we called you. Yeah, that's right. From the Patreon episode. Oh, that's right, we did. So you can go subscribe to the Patreon and hear what was a hilarious phone call. And you were like really excited to be on the show. I was there. It was funny. I saw the phone. I'm like, oh my God. I bet they're calling me for something live because you don't call me. Didn't he not answer the first time? No, he answered. No, he answered.
00:02:17
Oh, okay. Yeah. No, I saw Logan. I was like, he never calls me. Yeah. And then I'm like, those guys are. Do you want me to call you more? Yeah. Did it feel kind of fun? Like, cool. I'm going to be on a show. It was like, you know, like when your phone rings now, I get so annoyed because it's normally like a telemarketing. I'm like, oh, hey. I actually like this person. It was exciting. It's true. Yeah, it wasn't. It was all good. That's awesome. I forgot about that. That was fun. It's nice to be back. I do miss it when we're gone. You didn't get to see the nice new table. I know. New table. I am like out of sorts.
00:02:51
I walk in. Logan's got a haircut. He's looking all put together. Damn. A lot of shit happens when I'm gone for a week. Yeah. I got mine scheduled for the live. I am thinking about doing that. But I also have to grow it back out for Halloween. So I figure if I do it now, a couple weeks, it'll be back. I got mine for Thursday, so it should be looking fresh for Saturday. Well, I would say the live, but by the time this comes out, it will have already happened. But I want everyone to know we crushed it. It was the best time. We had a great fucking night. I was going to say, place your bets on Kalshi or whatever.
00:03:23
How do you think it's going to go? So we're recording this on Tuesday, October 6th. but it'll come out after the live event. So is our conversation like that was fucking awesome. Our boys, we shit the best. Right. Which one are you going to pick? Yeah, you never know. I mean, this could be the last episode.
00:03:40
God, a boy can dream. Oh. Well, hey, let's get into this drink before my mint gets even floppier than your guys' is. Yeah. Not an innuendo. Yeah, not at all. Okay, so the drink of the week sponsored by Benz Beverage Depot. Ben! 501 7th Ave Big, beautiful white building Oh yeah So this week We are having a drink called The South Side I was just kind of trying to come up with something Dude, that's such weird timing though Because like, White Sox are crushing The playoffs right now and they're always like South Side What's funny is the origin of this A lot of people claim that it was about the South Side of Chicago But it wasn't the real origin is actually like a bar in Long Island that created it.
00:04:32
It was called the Southside Inn. That was the name of the bar? Yeah. Oh, okay. It was a very fancy, hoity-toity place on Long Island. They drank mint juleps and they wanted something to make with gin, so they made this. Looks like something through Prohibition and stuff like that. It was right around that time. It's bigger than I expected. Back when people wore tuxedos to go out for the night. So some people make this and they put it in a fancy stemmed glass. The guy that I follow on YouTube and watch his videos and learn a lot of stuff about making cocktails, he does it in a big cube. So that's how I did it.
00:05:10
I always prefer a big cube. The only thing I messed up here a little bit is I forgot my double strainer. So we get a little more mint leaves in there than we probably should. I don't think that's a problem. I think that'll be okay. Chew up those greens. Mint's good for your throat when you're talking. Exactly. Is it? i don't know i just can't agree with you which i've learned i shouldn't do we're gonna maybe we'll get into that later because i'm gonna bring up some other like myths or whatever well that being said uh are we able to taste it or do you have more for it because then you can tell us what's in it because i want to try it it's very minty holy it's good though yeah you know what it tastes like um it's like makes my I like sour, but it's good.
00:05:56
It's sour? I took a big sniff as I drank, so I smelled just like a mint punched me in the face. But the flavor just tastes kind of like those, you know the popsicles, like a lemon-lime kind of popsicle? It's like that only minty. It's really good. It's really good. It tastes like something else that I've had, and I can't put my finger on it. Maybe... Shit, I don't know. yeah it's like uh uh a mojito kind of reminds me of mojito yeah yeah it's very very close to a mojito that makes sense it's good yeah i like it yeah mojito be a little bit sweeter but yeah what was all in it so it's uh gin and we use the sosis gin that uh we got from ben's and clint brought in yep and uh it's uh lime juice lemon juice a little bit of simple syrup mint i'm I'm not going to lie.
00:06:48
You're kind of making me be a little bit more of a gin man. That's the mission, man. This one's different, though. Well, not in a bad way. In a great way. But the last two drinks that you've made with gin in them, I am here for them. That's the thing, man. You just got to find the right one. The Sosis one's a good citrusy gin. The Botanist is another brand of gin that is not too bad. But if all you've ever known is Tanqueray, it's very piney. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Pine salt right up you. Right up in you. Right up in there. Right up in there. Grabs you by the prison wallet and doesn't let go.
00:07:26
Yeah, gin is hard for me because I can't drink it straight. I mean, I could. I can, but that's not for me. I was thinking it was grab you by something else that started with a P and it wasn't prison wallet, but you know, whatever.
00:07:42
Anyway, yeah. It's good, though. This is this is like this. I think to me. This is like top five. Yeah, this is good good Logan called it when we walked in he goes that was look like real good drinks. He's not having one though Cuz well, so well you didn't offer one you fucking aren't drinking lately. I offered you a drink You don't offer me one today. I offered you a sip of yours. Okay. Yeah Yeah, that's not the same. I haven't had it yet. I'm not a child. Normally you never finish it, we don't want to waste it. You can't have a child, normally you have a sip and that's about it and we end up finishing it.
00:08:12
But that was back when you were just making them without offering them to me. Yeah. Now he's all pissed. Okay, for the next six weeks we're making shit drinks and offering them every time. Listen, just, yeah. That's so funny. What are we talking about? If you're not gonna finish it, you can't have any more, okay? It's true. You better finish your booze. Just like my kids. Get up till it's time. Finish your french fries, come on. It's good though. Just know it's good. It's really good. I don't remember what it was. I was looking at me all seductively. That's his empty eye look like where he's trying to think. I'm a lot healthier. I've lost a lot of weight.
00:08:51
I'm feeling good about it. Get off my ass. Look good, feel good. Can I tell you something really weird? I just crossed, I've lost 9% of my entire body mass since I started seven weeks ago. Seven weeks? That's pretty good. Good for you, dude. That's awesome. Which is weird because that's a lot of weight. That's really fast. But it's been all healthy and sustainable. There's no... I'm not even doing the shot, but I'm not doing the shot. I'm just sending it. Raw dogging. It's old school. Counting calories. Staying in a calorie deficit. I like it. And I'm 25% of the way to my weight loss goal. That's awesome.
00:09:33
All right. Nice. But you can't drink as much booze. No. I'm out. He's got a big booze drinker, though. I'm just kidding. I know, I know, I know. It would be a little harder on this side of the table than on his side of the table, I think. I had three beers over the weekend because it's Oktoberfest season. Yes. And my stomach was not happy about it. No. Once you take a break and then you have one, it's like, what are you doing? You're literally poisoning me. Yeah, right. You're not pickled anymore. You can't do that. Funny that you say that because I feel like I had four steins on Friday. The big ones that take at least three beers in one of those steins.
00:10:09
If not more. So you had 12 beers, roughly, more or less. We went Saturday. You were pouring Friday, but we all went a bunch of us went Saturday. No, Thursday I was pouring. Oh, that's right. We went Friday. We took our steins. Kara has a half-size one, like a boot. and I was like I should just buy a small one there because you hold that big one last year it was hot as shit out and if you didn't drink it fast it was warm quickly but I was like the weather is nice it was perfect it was fucking perfect but then you realize like oh there's like 19 beers I want to try and you're like I have to get through this pitcher before I can try another one but the price is the same to refill it so as far as I'm concerned just give me the stein because I have the smaller one too like when we were pouring on Friday my boss bought us a small one. Yeah. So we could have that which was great for when we were pouring you know some for them a little for us.
00:11:03
But then I brought steins that we've had from when we went when we went back on Friday and it's a better deal. I just like trying. But you do have to carry those fucking steins. You have to carry it around yeah. But they're damn near bulletproof man like they're banging together nothing. They're thick as shit. They're fucking thick. Yeah. Which is actually funny now that I think about it. When we go to like beer fest or whatever like everyone gets the tasters every now and then you'll hear one shatter and everyone goes oh. I've never heard of one shatter in like a man Octoberfest. I think they just fucking bounce right now.
00:11:33
They're heavy. I'm sure somebody has, but those things bounce, man. All in all, kind of a fun thing that goes on around here. Especially when the weather is like it was. God, it was gorgeous. Did you notice something new on the cart from last week? Oh, he did. Hold on. I was wheeling it in here. He goes, what the fuck? Absinthe? He goes, I want to try it. And I go, it's not very good. I go, is that really that or just a box? And he's like, oh, no. I'm like, do you guys have that? Yeah, it's got a little spoon thing with it, so you can do the sugar cube if you want. But see, that was the one that was supposed to, like, make you hallucinate and everything before.
00:12:12
Now, allegedly. Yeah, it's got the guy that looks like he's hallucinating on there. Isn't that the artist? Van Gogh. Yeah. I think that's supposed to be him. Yeah. But yeah, it's got this cool spoon on the side that you get too. Cool. So the cocktail we had last week was the La Louisiane. Basically, the La Louisiane and the Sazerac, they do like an absinthe rinse in the glass basically so it gets a little bit of that flavor. We'll have to give it a shot. It was important.
00:12:47
Clearly, it's going to be around for a little bit. Yeah, this is heavy. Yeah. Well, yeah. I'm going to get into something because I'm fucking tired of all this shit and I know it's the same thing every year but it never fails I forget how annoying it is when you open your fucking mailbox and there's 75 mailers for politicians and it's this person hates this person and this person eats babies and this person like punted their dog in the face and you're just like dude I hate all of you honestly just for sending me this shit I mean everybody that's watching us on YouTube right now probably just had a political ad literally yeah term limits dude I have a video of my kids and my nephews when they were young like this was like 10 years ago all sitting they were having like lunch during an Iowa game but they watched YouTube and stuff so I think it was Lindsey Graham but there was this ad that ran all the time so they all at the same time just started saying it and it's like term limits term limits we need to get rid of them and I'm like this is bad when it's like that bad you know well And like with the mailers, I mean, I don't know.
00:13:54
Maybe somebody, you ever open one, look at one of those mailers and be like, that's who I'm voting for. Right. Totally changed my mind. Totally changed my mind. But they must do something because they put so much money into the research behind all this shit. By the way, it's all the old people. They're like, well, fucking. I don't pick until I start reading my flyers. Exactly. Dickface sent me 19. They're the best. I'm like, I watch these, especially the commercials, but it's like, you know, Josh Turek's going to, you know, turn all of our kids into transgenders and, you know, like, but like, of course they don't show him in a wheelchair.
00:14:30
They just show the upper part of his body. They don't, they don't want to like make you feel bad for this guy. It's so, to me, it's comically like terrible how like they, how they go about these things. To me, it's so ridiculous what you're saying that it won't change my mind. I shut down as soon as they start playing. And it's both sides. I'm not taking a stance either way. I'm just saying they both have ridiculous ads. And I don't get why. So especially, mostly I get this when I'm watching football. But if you're watching Fox, you're definitely getting Republican ads. And I'm like, so you're basically preaching to the choir.
00:15:10
Yeah. You're in your echo chamber. I don't get it. just don't i guess football might be the time that they can't get some other people because you're watching it because you're watching a team but yeah that's true that's true um the part that i hate about all this stuff is in this world of thinking about how much money is just spent i mean it literally pays for network tv right these i mean they they have to it has to be and can you imagine what they're charging just based on this like let's got to pay the network salary salaries for the year it just has to yeah they're the one people who love it i bet or like these printing companies you know that make the flyers and good it's it's a i don't root against that business like good for them it's just such so much money put into something that it's like at the end of the day when we see all these other problems that could happen it's like so these are the people that are running that are hopefully going to make a change and make things better yet all this money spent that could be put in a place that we all agree you know like to where i don't care which side you're on like i i would just be all about like this is the amount of money you get if you're in a race and even if it's just covered by the people yeah you don't get super but you don't get other that you get once you pick your race here's your plot of money that you get that all taxpayers pay into and it's a flat amount that everybody gets there from it and you run your race how you can you know what i mean where where it is like that sort of stuff, you know what I mean?
00:16:35
In a world of being bought by stuff and, you know, whatever. It just, when I think about misuse of funds or, well, whatever, just where funds could be spent in a better place. Boy, I can't think of a better one than what's spent on advertising during one of these races. So I got like somebody, one of our friends snapped us. I think it was Tyler or something the other week. And it was like, he had like, I don't know, 12 of them in his mailbox. Maybe it was Kara. I can't remember. then adam brought it up today to me he's like dude you gotta fucking talk about these ads i'm like i just bitched to care about this i'm like i had like 11 the other day and one day i'm like it looked like i had so much mail and i pulled it out that's all i had nothing else just those i'm like fuck off right i mean it's great that's all it is it literally is fire sir for me it doesn't even make it into the house it's like straight into the recycle bin yeah i don't i can't remember the last time i looked at one it's just literally like i got my little firebox i got my garbage and recycling and some of them going there resting and recycling. You know what I mean?
00:17:33
It's all right before it even gets in the house. Because I'm like, once this goes in it just ends up being on the counter forever Again it must work somehow just is so and that why my guess is it old people because it gotta be it has to it fucking has to be because i don't know anybody it's like well i was gonna go this way and then i got this mailer yeah that's what makes you think though like okay if we fast forward we've kind of talked about old people and it's like we're not saying we want them to go away but there are some who you know It wouldn't be terrible. But like, I don't know what else to say.
00:18:07
Let's say you fast forward, though. Like, I mean, we're in our 40s. So let's fast forward 30 years. We're now the old people. I don't see that changing for me. I don't feel like I'm in a hidden age where I'm like, you know what? These mailers are going to do something. So is it going to slow down? Is it going to stop? Or is this just our lives until we die? Like, why? There's something that we're into that they're going to have to take care of our old asses for. I don't know. it. You know, I'd probably be like, nowadays, I don't know, get them some beer. They start putting my beer cans, I'm going to be pissed. They're the ones still drinking, you know, but nobody else.
00:18:40
They're going to start getting shit on, like, the TikToks and the YouTube shorts. I'm already getting, like, dude, like, I'm scrolling now and I'm getting, like, zap-bound and whatever. I'm like, what the fuck? Why did we have to do this? Like, you ruined the one place that I like to just, like, watch shit. Well, what did I just bitch about right before we came here? I was like, You're always bitching, I don't know. I know. and I'll never fucking change. I hate Facebook now. Granted, I never loved it, but I liked when I could see my friend's shit or whatever. Remember when you used to scroll and be like, aw, look at so-and-so's kids.
00:19:13
They're so big now. Now it's like, no, I don't know this person. I don't know this. It's just forced shit all the time. And I'm like, I don't... So this was a good segue for something that I have a couple things I was going to bring up, but it's still cool. Are you guys okay with that, or am I going to... Yeah.
00:19:29
Class reunions. No. just kidding well no it's interesting just based off things i've seen because we were kind of talking about it they like for like some of my uncles they fucking love their you know they like still have them they have huge parties that are like for the weekend you know with family and everybody else and they've been doing it for years but then like even my generation our class isn't good at getting together and we graduated 98 so um but ashley and i were talking about and i think it's fucking social media yeah it changes that because the whole reason why you went was to see you know who got hot and who got ugly you know you'd have no idea who's married or like now with now with facebook or whatever social media you'd be like no i know oh i have to go see darren with his ninth wife yeah we know who's rich we know who's poor we know who's got the hot chick we know who used to be hot that's not anymore at all you know he's got fake tits, I guess we'll go.
00:20:32
I wonder if Becky will bring him out. Party! But I think they used to with those things. Probably. I see him on Facebook. Hold on, we talked about that infamous clip. I know we talked about that chick that's getting dropped off. And he's like, have fun, honey. And she's like, are you sure? Okay. Some of these guys fingered me. Bye. And like gets out of the car and he's like, what? So I talked about that. Ashley said that that whole one was her dad dropping her off. oh god that's so much worse yes oh whether that's true or not i don't know but papa like this is all the conversation we're having so it was yeah is it still cool to have a class reunion i don't know like i know my class reunion they've done a little some of them and our class was pretty close like i would have thought we would have got together got together more yeah which i'm sure every kind of class feels like um so we've had a couple but they've never been huge hits i think like our 10 year was probably the biggest one yeah i mean i don't know if it was just the right gap for that i think so that makes sense though like 10 for 98 like that still feels right yeah so i don't know that that would have been you also need someone who is like that go-getter like i want to plan this and i'm doing that you know what i mean i think that's the life's so busy and like i know i'm not that person so it's like i'll go maybe but like i'm not going to all these yeah but i think before it was always like the for generations older us that i knew they would
00:22:02
you they'd expect it you know what i mean and be like okay so we're gonna do it next year and everybody right pay into it so they could reserve the whole you know i mean and nowadays people like you got to upfront cost everything and hopefully enough people show up to pay back and people just don't do that anymore i feel like so i don't know yeah i don't i don't see it making a comeback i also obviously as you look at the timeline since we were in high school versus now these kids don't talk as much able in person they just talk differently they do but yeah they don't need that like 10 year thing there's you know so it's like i i it's never going to be what it was that's for goddamn sure you know how many people did you guys have in your graduating class oh god like ballpark this was huge mine was like 120 130 i think 130 say it was like three something yeah or 300. mine was like 100 just over 100 but it's like yeah i always wondered with a bigger school like how do you even do that like how do you get together right most people don't even know each other throughout high school well and that's the other thing i knew everybody in my class like i grew up in a small town it's like everybody knew everybody yeah like it would be we actually talked about this which is funny because it's logan's wife but like we went to school together and like we were in eighth grade like we're the same age right so like our eighth grade class was smaller obviously it was like you know 15 of us or whatever and we've talked about like all getting together and stuff like that but again you're all friends on facebook and it just you need someone to plan it and know everyone's busy so there's just not a lot of mystery at that point you know i mean it's not like you're like i think with 300 people though or what pick a size it's first of
00:23:36
all you have it's like a wedding you invite 100 of the people and you know only 25 are showing up And then second from that, there's people who are like, maybe they want to go, but they're like, this girl's a bitch. So they don't go. So it's kind of the people who have the right personality to go. We had our tenure, and I thought it was fun, but we didn't get a lot of people to show up. But to me, it was neat because it's like, I don't follow all those people on Facebook. And I got to catch up with some people that I was like, I never would have. We probably never would have even talked in high school.
00:24:09
But when only 20 of you show up to a reunion, you're going to talk to just about everybody. So it was interesting. And to me, I remember that feeling of, man, these people all probably think I'm still the computer nerd and just a geek guy. And I am. But I've done some cool shit. But I've got a fucking podcast now, motherfucker. I'm married to an awesome chick. I have kids. It's like I travel all the time. Yeah. I have been laid a lot. A lot. Not just by myself. I bet what would impress or shock people the most about Erik. Now, I don't know. Maybe you were. I didn't know you in high school, but like is how social you are.
00:24:52
Yeah. Because a lot of people meet you and wouldn't think you're that social person. You're more social than almost anyone I know. Yeah. I would agree. Yeah. I think most people are surprised that you're a computer nerd. Yeah. And I brought my wife. Really? I've just known him long enough to know that. Yeah. And of course I bring my wife and I'm like Make sure you wear the good top You want to sell some houses? Put on the top Those hooters are for everybody tonight We're not here for fun, we're making money Make me look good I got the hot wife Hey, see that dead cat over here? He's a total asshole, but he has tons of money I think we can all agree that they're just not cool Definitely not what he used to be Definitely not It's not cool it's not cool is that what it said it's not cool it's not cool not cool love it thank you bud appreciate the the sound effects right yeah it's from 2012's the dictator oh it's sasha i never saw that actually yeah it's not cool uh i know you each have something still to talk about but should i i brought a little something oh yeah yeah which is gonna be twofold uh logan it's your birthday thursday i know you weren't gonna say it but i'm gonna oh yeah happy birthday you're gonna be what 21 22 27 27 i still hate you actually i thought i was gonna feel better when he said it but it doesn't no i'm gonna be 34 that makes you feel a little bit better no god you're old no yeah i'm feeling i'm feeling that are you 34 again yeah are you with your fresh haircut as
00:26:27
like you're feeling great you're losing weight like are you yeah yes would you rather be like 45 Right, yes, but I also woke up this morning and couldn't move. That just happened. You got to be careful how you sneeze and sleep. They're important. The sneezing is getting me lately, you know? Dude, it hurts. You got to brace yourself. You do. Sometimes I brace myself too much. Take it back out real quick. And then you feel like you hurt your whole nervous system for a second. You're like, I just have to stay in here and let it bounce back out. It's like the worst first thing in the morning. You just get out of bed and you're all sore and tight.
00:26:56
And then you sneeze. Oh, my God. Yeah. Day's over. Back to bed I go. Yeah. Oh, you can't sleep anymore. So I brought this because this was dropped off to us. Obviously, we had a cereal bracket, but I can't put a candle in it because, well, it's cereal. So I'm going to grab that. You guys can keep talking for a minute. But there's something we have to try, even though I don't want to try this. But it could work out for Shaun because Shaun hasn't eaten today. And he's no longer. Yeah, Shaun needs a little snack. Yeah, we all meet before this for one, and we were riding up here in the elevator, and I was like, I haven't eaten anything.
00:27:36
Grape nuts. Now, also, I thought I had disposable bowls at home, and I didn't, so I grabbed red Solo cups because I feel like that just works for us. This won't ruin your calorie count because you only have to have a bite, okay? Zero added sugar. Grape nuts. Here, why don't you pour a little bit in every cup? Oh my god, this little box is dense, man. I told you it's heavy as shit for how small it is. No worry, I got cold milk.
00:28:06
So after we had that cereal bracket podcast. I'm making sure, like, okay, good. He opens it, like, not like a key than like my children. God, I hate the fucking, don't even get me started on that. My daughter, literally, she'll be like, if I'm there when she's opening it, she's like, here, you do it. You do it better. I'd be like, fine. I'd rather that than walk up to it later. But I'm sure everyone could guess who dropped this off. I get home and I get a text from, of course, Matt. And he's like, check your mailbox. And right away, I'm like, you fucking asshole. Sure enough, there's a nine pound box of grape nuts in my mailbox.
00:28:40
Little guy for Logan here. Yeah. And here's the milk. That's a one spooner for him. So we're going to test the theory. We're going to see if... Lock that if you want. we're going to see if grape nuts is good. It looks terrible. It tastes like grapes. By the way, you look at the ingredients and you're like, how does this taste good? Here's all of the ingredients. Whole wheat grain, malted barley flour, salt, and dried yeast. I want to be really honest. I'm really worried about trying this. Why? Because in my head, it's old people food. And if I like it, that's a problem. That's a good point. I have a feeling I'm going to like this just for the...
00:29:20
It might just be because you're hungry, though. Remind yourself of that. I still can't. I can kind of remember how they taste, but it's been a while. But I never understood why they called them grape nuts. Right. Google it. We should find that out. I'm on it. I'm on it. Yeah, what's the story of being grape nuts versus just nuts? Why do they call it? I don't think it's even nuts. It's just like grains. It's not nuts. That's the thing. Aw, nuts. Aw, nuts. So I felt like this is fitting because this is what you get for a birthday cake when you're old. Can you give me a spoon over there? Sorry, buddy.
00:30:00
So Post itself says there are two competing explanations for the name. C.W. Post introduced the cereal in 1897. This is a real old cereal. One story says that he believed the baking process contained glucose, which he called grape sugar, while the finished cereal had a nutty flavor, hence grape nuts. the other story is that the little crunchy pieces reminded people of grape seeds which were apparently sometimes called grape nuts that part I can see so I think the answer is that it's a dumb name and no one really cares Shaun we can't talk until they try it I'll talk while they try it this is going to be a very ASMR video this is a podcast I know I'm good I just realized how we're all even him pouring the cereal I was like that sounds nice um it tastes like i expect and also a little better than i expected it reminds me of like logan's out logan it's like raisin bran without anything good in it so yeah it's just like bran but it would be good with like some fresh fruit cut on it i feel like or yeah or even just like a little bit of sugar yeah i mean whatever but like because I love some plain cereals.
00:31:19
It needs something. This is just brown. Really crunchy brown. I don't like it. I know. I do see the grapeseed part. I love Raisin Bran, and this is basically just bran. You don't get the raisins that add a little bit of sweetness. If this had raisins, I think I'd be on board. So you don't like Grape Nuts. You like Raisin Bran. But it'd be better because I like the crunch of the nuts. I like nuts, man. Yeah, you do.
00:31:49
I feel like nuts taste better than this. This has no flavor. Isn't it hitting the spot because you're hungry? It is. We got in the elevator to come up, and he's like, I haven't had a single bite of food today. I go, how? By 2 o'clock, I'm dying. And he's like, I got like that. And I was so busy, I couldn't do it. And then I forgot. And then I didn't remember until we're on the way up. I'm like, well, you're in for a treat. I brought birthday cake. This fucking cereal is so dense. I didn't put that much in there, but it doesn't even look like I fucking had any yet. It's heavy, dude. I don't know if it ever gets soggy either, if I remember right.
00:32:27
It doesn't. You're right. It kind of tastes like rocks. If I was eating tiny rocks, there's no flavor to it. It just isn't. Dirty rocks. Yeah. This might be my least favorite cereal. very possible i'm hungry though um and not that like i have to have the sugariest of sugar cereals but like this it has literally no flavor yeah it just needs a little something hey matt this stuff sucks so you gave me a terrible birthday gift yeah i would like to send it back we're gonna i will say on the front it even has fruit in it because it's like you got to do something to this yeah right there's literally no yeah you have to add other things to it also is it just me or do you remember always hearing about this here and being like it's really good because it's high in fiber right I thought I felt like I heard that 7 grams of fiber 7 grams of fucking fiber hold on by the way 2 of those are soluble so it's really 5 that's not a lot of fucking fiber you can have a low carb tortilla and it has like 27 grams of fiber in it it wasn't back in the day I guess when we didn't realize we needed fiber before our diet sucked.
00:33:42
When a bagel was on a diet. Yeah, that was a diet breakfast food. Can I do a really quick two-minute chaps my ass? Always. It can't be grape nuts. It's grape nut adjacent.
00:33:57
Which was my band name in high school. Jody! Jody's shirt idea. Grape nut adjacent. I like it. So I've been buying food differently. I've been looking at food differently. I've been reading nutrition labels i'm not getting like crazy about it i'm just looking at the big numbers right but one thing you care about a lot when you're trying to lose weight and cut down is is protein because helps you stay full burn from energy maintain muscle while you're losing weight etc um protein has become such a marketing ploy now yep so it's like they'll take a a product and they'll say this version this is our protein version like they'll put it in the name this is a totally different skew it's a protein version of the product we usually make i have one i can say that and but i don't take it are you going to say one you can say it protein pop tarts oh yeah sure they make those and i'm like what the fuck by the way it's not a lot of protein still that's exactly my point it's like more than the other one but like by one it's like by two grams yeah or they won't even change the protein they'll just change the recommended serving on it and they'll boost that so that way you're getting more protein it's all marketing and it's real gross i don't love it Really, really, my ass chapped.
00:35:09
Yeah, that's the sound bite we need. My ass chapped. Yeah it not good We at the 35 minute mark so go ahead and save that one then you can cut it out You know how to add it to the board there then This ass is chap yeah say it just like that and then yeah also what was the other one the finger guns is that what you said what did you say this oh yeah we needed a shots fired oh shots fired that's right yeah yeah i will say just based on her bracket that we had part of it was what's the milk tastes like afterwards the only reason why the milk is good because it gives it some flavor literally at least tastes like milk but outside of that like what kind of milk did you i was just gonna say so the only one who drinks milk in my house is my daughter and she doesn't even drink it a lot anymore but it's but she when she drinks it skim okay so there is a lot of sugar in it there's more sugar in skim milk i believe yeah they fortify it they fortify it yeah because here's what people don't understand I say that like everyone's stupid.
00:36:14
No, I learned, but a lot of people are dumb to this. It's like if you get something that's low fat, there's only so many macros. So if it's low fat, they'd put something else in. So it's higher sugar. So if you're eating low carb, you don't ever want to buy something low fat because it's higher in carbs. Yes and no. I think in general that may be true, but I don't think it's universal. It is true. No, but it's universal. I can tell you that skim milk is... I'm a diabetic. I know this. No, I'm kidding. 10 calories per ounce. What is? skim milk is what 10 calories per ounce that seems like a lot yeah and then you go up to one percent it's a hundred and then you go to two percent it's 120 and then whole milk is usually like 150 i fucking love milk just for the record milk's the best i miss milk so fucking i think that's why i was liking this because i since i've been diabetic i don't eat cereal i can't eat milk and i miss fucking cereal so much it's interesting i didn't realize there was that much sugar in milk oh a lot yeah there's a lot i mean i just never i mean you just don't think about it because we eat sugar in everything uh-huh so things don't taste sweet to us because it's like we're just used to it right but like it is yeah why are you making a face my nephew's great nut again i just took another bite and this i know what it reminds me of like when you're brewing and you just take a handful yeah like spent grain and shove it in your mouth and it smells like it too if you open that box it's exactly what it smells like i bet chickens love this shit actually the spent grain tastes better than this.
00:37:39
This cereal sucks ass. I'm so sorry to whoever likes Grape Nuts. Matt? Matt, I know you gave me a bidet, but you just got a strike for this one. I'm not trying to take anything away from anyone, but this will not be in my house. Yeah, I don't think it's going to be in most houses. I think there's a reason they sell it in that tiny-ass box, because not a lot of people are buying it. Because it's fucking dead. It's dead. There's more food in that. The old people can't pick up a bigger box. That box is going to last you for months. They have to get one of the electric carts to go get it because they can't carry it back to the car.
00:38:14
Can you carry my groceries off? All you got is one box, I know. And then the kid grabs it and goes, Oh my God! Just falls over. Dude, I bet if I threw that at someone, I could take them out.
00:38:27
I bet that's true of most cereal boxes. The next time we riot, though, instead of bricks, I'm just stocking up on Grape Nut boxes and I'm going to fuck shit up. All right, there you go. It's your call. Go try it. See how you like it. Yeah, everyone go grab a box of grape nuts. It's definitely, you're going to have to add stuff to it. I think it's one that you could add some good shit to it and make it better. Like, I think it would go, it's one of those, like. The Raisin Bran thing was the closest comparison I think is accurate, but it still wouldn't be as good because Raisin Bran has, like, thinner pieces, and you don't have to chew them 19 times to get through one rock.
00:38:59
But, like. I always feel like there was, like, every cereal commercial back in the day always had, like, fresh fruit cut on it. Yeah. And it was never fucking good. I think fresh fruit on that would actually be cut. But also, who's cutting up fresh fruit and then throwing it in their bowl of milk? Like, just keep it on the side. Well, not only that, but like, dude, you eat cereal because it's fast and easy. I don't want to be cutting up fucking fruit when I'm trying to eat a bowl of cereal. I gotta get out of the house. Why do you think that all the oatmeal's actually have fruit in them now? There's a couple of stone people right now going, oh, they're missing out, man.
00:39:33
Have you tried grape nuts on pizza? You know what? It's a similar thing to ramen, though. Like ramen. I'm thinking of stone foods now. Like ramen, fast, easy, but it does get significantly better when you add things to it and elevate it. Oh, yeah. You can really go ham. Speaking of ham. Ham and an egg. A dippy egg.
00:39:56
My kids are all about it. I'm going to do it again. No. I don't do three shows. The next one costs money. I love to fancy up some ramen. I love it too. Unless I'm, again, in a hurry. Right. Do you prefer, though? It doesn't take any longer to crack a fucking egg and throw it in the ramen. It's not about... I don't cook it in it. Do you have the supplies? Oh, well, hold on. It depends how you're making it. So you're basically putting scrambled eggs in ramen. The instant ramen with one minute. So if you're doing the timer, like three minutes, one minute left, throw an egg in there. It'll be mostly done, a little bit jammy.
00:40:32
so you're just dropping it slowly into it and then not touching it i don't care i just throw it in there okay it gets scrambled it's fine yeah yeah the greatest anyway all right hold on let me add ramen as a topic because this is fucking gonna have to be talked about because i have some strong books on how to make that but the big thing with me with fucking ramen by the time i'm meeting that is because we have fucking nothing else in the house there's a chance we even have an egg to throw in there fair i should i should well because we always have it because the kids like it but sophie always puts egg and it does that shit but by the time i get to it it's because there's fucking nothing left so when we were young and poor like i like right out of high school like a bunch of us buddies living together like we lived on ramen so like after that and i like started making money i was like i'm never fucking touching ramen sure well then you don't touch it for 10 years and you're like it sounds real good and then you have it and it's real good but you're like it's also real bad for you there's like 9 000 sodium somebody told me like if you go to the asian market you can get like good i have heard like it's not the instant bullshit it's the pack that kills you it's all the shit that's in that but you're in that put your own stuff even the noodles are not great not compared to like if you get the good ones yeah uh so there's a and they sell it at most stores like they sell at hybe now um but there's like a a black label is that the bulldog one or it's not bulldog it's a different brand okay um i have to double check and look but it's it's black label. It costs a little bit more.
00:41:56
I think it's like $10 for a four pack of them. Still fairly affordable and still instant. But a lot for ramen. A lot for ramen. But it's so good. It's like a bone broth ramen. It's so, so, so good. Yeah. Highly right. Black package and they sell it at Hy-Vee? Yeah. Also, never mind. I'm not going to do it. I wrote ramen down. We'll talk about this another time because this will be fucking 45 minutes. this made me think of something did you guys ever eat spaghettios unfortunately it's the shin ramyun black shin shin s-h-i-n shin ramyun black okay i was never a spaghetti guy but talking about don't be old cheap food and stuff like i never liked the the smell of that was always like i know some people love canned ravioli yeah i knew people who like preferred it cold they would just open the the can and eat it.
00:42:48
That made my whole body sneeze out. Was it like a sneeze in the morning? So I was going to share something from remote producer Benjo because he had a question from us. Welcome back, Benjo. Yeah, we missed you, bud. We did. We said that. Clearly you've been busy and not sending stuff, but we missed you. So keep it coming. But he's a huge SpaghettiOs guy. Really? I would not expect that. With or without the meatballs. There's also the wiener ones. the halloween or one yeah i don't know i don't know but like that would be his like i would guess his sneaky you gotta have them childhood thing like he's not ramen or probably not macaroni and cheese but he would definitely probably be spaghetti gotta have the meatballs and you don't know if they're really meat they just like mystery definitely not meat yeah with that being said he's had a topic that he sent in which i thought was pretty good so he put in the show topic idea routine slash habits have you ever noticed like when you go to the store or the mall you always end up parking in the same relatively area no matter what time of the day you go no matter what other options are open you feel like you always kind of park in the same spot i noticed that a ton when i go to the mall and even when the store when we go to sam's or anything like that when you go to the bar you frequently tend to sit in like a general few tables kind of by each other um and it kind of feels weird when you're like get by another one you're like this isn't right um and he said when they go to arrowhead out of that huge parking that parking lot where you can
00:44:21
tailgate they generally get in that same area where they're at um he said so is it cool even though you have all these other options it's still cool to like stick to your kind of like routine spot like that or is it kind of cooler to not be i know i do it like i said like i'm a creature a habit for sure like even my local hyvee right two minutes from my house i like always go to this one aisle because i don't go to the busy one because i'm like i'm not i don't need to deal with that so i go off to the side and if there's not a spot there i get internally a little pissed off because i'm like this is my row i came out of my way to get here right so i get it like i i do that all the time same thing at the mall like i like parking near a certain spot like when i go to the mall i always park by shields like yeah i'm gonna go to aniva city that's always where i'm at I'm always the same way Like the grocery store I know the rows that are The center ones I get off to the side A little bit Bar We sit in the same three spots when we meet We generally sit right there Every time we come in It's just so reliable It feels like home But it's like that comfort stuff And you feel like that little bit of pissed off When somebody's sitting in your seat Yeah, you're just like, what the fuck are you doing?
00:45:37
Like, Norm. Yeah. Excuse me, you're in my spot. We're also bar sitters, so I sit there. Sometimes we'll go somewhere and someone's like, what table do you guys want? And I was like, there's plenty of spots at the bar, so I don't know why we're sitting in a table. I get to understand if there's six of you and you all want to talk to each other, but I'd rather be at the bar. Bar's only good for three. You can get four of the most as long as you're on the corner. Exactly. That's actually the best. Yeah. um do you have any other do you have any spots like that eric or are you are you kind of go no i'm very you're kind of like a i'm very routine okay like i like my routines um like the grocery store i always park my wine and spirits because then i can go in and out check out if there's any specials you know by the way especially even if i'm not buying from them i'm like it's also kind of an express lane you know it used to be way better yeah hack till some other work got out Yeah.
00:46:32
But also, don't be that fucking asshole. Because sometimes I see people in there with like 30 items, and I'm like, don't you. No, no. By the way, they should tell them to fuck off. What's acceptable is buying booze from it and meat you're going to throw on the grill and the buns and sides that go along with it. Yeah. That's about. Yeah. It's definitely less than eight items, in my opinion. Definitely like your alcohol and what you're eating for the night. If you have anything more than like, yeah, you're in the wrong fucking area. Diapers? Get the fuck out of here. What are you doing? Toilet paper?
00:47:01
I don't think so. No, no room for that. You're fucking 14 different options for dinner? No, no, no, no. I feel for the guy that's got a 30 rack of bush light and some diapers. It's true. I understand him a little bit more than when I'm sitting there holding the 30 rack and there's some fucking lady doing her weekly grocery shopping at the fucking little aisle. And I'm like, come on. It's not built for that. Yeah. What about at work? like obviously you're like you're not like a giant thing but like do you have like a spot generally like everybody at work kind of has their spot yeah yeah i mean like you pull up and like like we have one guy that's like gets super pissed if anybody takes their spot and it's like dude so i went to the bank two days ago and i walked in and you could tell it there was a sign up on one of the conference rooms it said like training in progress i'm like oh whatever it's a big bank and this kid comes out or whatever and the girl she's like always the girl i deal with when I'm there, just happens to always be there.
00:47:57
And she goes, hey, do you drive a whatever? And he's like, no. And she goes, okay, never mind. He's like, well, it looks like that though. And she's like, is it dark gray? And he goes, yeah. She goes, you're in my spot. Don't let it happen again. And he had a training thing on it. She looked at me. She's like, it's his first day. I have to mess with him. I was like, girl, hell yeah, dude. Oh, just piss all over it. I love it. It was hilarious. And then I left and I saw the car and I was like, you're in her spot, bro. But I did that when I started the new company. julie our friend of ours works there and she was like why didn't you park with us i'm like there's 10 000 spots i don't know she goes we're this this section this thing like you back in you have to back in with us and i was like okay by the way i do it all the time now that's where that's your spot that's my spot now i like it i it's not too far it's off to the side i like it it's something comfort like i feel like comfort of doing it and being there you know and like it does feel a little off when i don't when i'm in a whole different area to park or yeah where i go to the mall and there's a million spots and I know that this is the one I go into then but you know the reason why I came with that in the mall was because I just fucking know where my car was at when I came out dude where do we park like I don't even want to admit this so I got a new car a few couple months ago and like I don't even know all the features but like there's an app obviously if I have to unlock it or whatever well we went to one of so Kara's son had a cross-country meet he had to walk for like a while. I'd never been there before.
00:49:21
I don't even remember where it was, Linmar or something. But I forgot where I parked. I was like, fuck, the way we walked in, I'm like, was there on the front? And there's cars everywhere. And I went to the app and it's like, find my car. And it literally pulls up a map and walks you to your car. And I was like, oh, thank God.
00:49:37
Would I have found it? Yes. Eventually. Hit the fucking panic button. Exactly. But I would have heard it always away and it would have been going off for a while. And I was like, okay, that was awesome. I'm so glad I have this now. I'm getting old. I would say it's cool. I don't know if it's still cool if you can really say it that way or just like I totally get it. I got my routines and I stick to it. That's the thing. Even when it's other stuff, everybody has their routines. If a routine helps you, then you should do that. Thank you. I was going to say it's comfort. I want to do things that make me feel comforted.
00:50:14
You know what I mean? It's like a hug. it is do you ever have like a thing that's part of your routine every day and like something fucks it up and it's just like it doesn't feel it doesn't feel right for a while because i'm also like well today's gonna suck like i'm just prepared for you know which i know is a terrible mentality but i get my anxiety gets a little you know yeah it's all anxiety that's all it is it's like well this happened i remember when i was a kid i had to open my report card while sitting in a certain spot. Really? Only because every time I open a report card there, I just got a good report card. And the one time I didn't, I got a bad one. Fucking never I had to sit on the same spot.
00:50:52
So did it work? Did you get all A's? I never got all A's. Come on. Not good for me, report card. Not good for like, yeah. C's get degrees, baby. I got enough to where, you know, my dad didn't kick my ass. So then that's it. No. That's fair. Yeah. So what did we decide? Cool or not cool? It's still cool. Anything that brings you comfort is cool. Cool.
00:51:12
Is that like the aristocrats or something like that's got to be like an old Disney movie. That's a good guess. Thank you. It's an old Disney movie. No, it's not Disney, but you're in the right ballpark. Fuck. I got no idea. Yeah. I came out of the gate great at this game. Then every single one he plays. It's not Disney. I don't fucking know. It's not Disney. It is animated. I know. I can see it. I can think of it. Hold on. Fuck. this is gonna drive me nuts it's bothered me that it's not Disney because I feel like well if you're going with Disney I'll just say it's animated so you just assume everything animated is Disney so just go with it yeah it is animated it's not Disney so if you're thinking about other major properties Fievel goes west no it's not that I'm just kidding I don't know Tom and Jerry yeah Looney Tunes oh that's not Disney oh oh yeah it's not is it no fuck you said that's so sad that's warner brothers no disney owns everything but i i was gonna say these days and like are you sure to have you well today oh today it's paramount it's not warner brothers it's paramount looney tunes okay just as of that's a good one though this week right earlier today wait what was that today hold on what yeah hbo all that's warner brothers paramount now everything's paramount ellison bought everything paramount and warner brothers have merged who's ellison oh larry is that who it was what larry ellison no uh i think it's his son oh yeah jesus you know
00:52:45
this is like the goddamn thing when handymart got bought out for those in cedar rapids back a long time ago by casey's and i was like they can't buy them handymart's bigger than them i didn't know paramount was like that big because i don't like look into that shit i was just like dude hbo is massive well but think about how paramount has so much more stuff it was like wait you know Paramount been around Damn Yeah How much was that deal I can tell you It a lot trillion It was a lot But now supposedly all our apps are like HBO Max is going away It's going to be on Paramount. So Paramount's about to go up to $49.99 a month. Probably. What was your guess at the valuation? I was kidding when I said trillions, but it probably... I don't know.
00:53:26
What's your guess? It's not a T. $700 billion. That would actually be insane money. But it's valued at around $110 million dollars billion yeah yeah okay yeah that's crazy so a little less than what i got hey paramount if you're looking to buy another podcast uh we're up for sale while you're fucking throwing money around and you only have to give us millions we won't even ask for a billion so right we're pretty modest yeah we're still gonna do it we're just having new sponsors like paramount plus yeah check them out for 49.99 a month Hey, I mean, if we can stop having 17 different apps to subscribe to, maybe it'll be better.
00:54:09
I do like that. Like, so I'm trying to think of like, okay, there's HBO Max, there's Paramount. Did they buy anything else that we get to lose a fucking app and it's all in one? No. It's just those two for right now. Okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, and I think there's other ones under there, but you probably get them. It was already included. Yeah. Like all the DC. DC. Yeah. Because the Disney, I have Disney Plus. I do pay for that one and it fucks me up because then I had to pay for Hulu separate. I bundled them or whatever for like two more bucks but then it's like do you want to add an ESPN but for ten more dollars and I'm like no I don't because then I'm doing the thing where I'm just fucking getting up to a hundred dollars and you can go fuck yourself.
00:54:49
So it's really funny because the Disney thing is funny to me because they keep sending out like price increases and we got an email the other day and Aaron's like oh and our Disney's going up and I'm like babe i i paid for like three years at a time and and we get it through our verizon so it's like the three years that i bought before they even launched the service hasn't even kicked in because it's still running on oh that's right so like whenever if verizon ever gets rid of it i've got three more years i bought a year the original price i have a little while but yeah that that is why you probably fucking do that though it pays off in the end but also you can call eric or we can send you a program where you get all live TV for $22.99 a month.
00:55:34
You know, I've told you this before, I still subscribe to the other shit because nobody else can figure out how to use it. I just do it, honestly, for live sports. Honestly, when football season's over, it's not like hype baseball season, then I get rid of it. Everyone's on movies or something. Yeah. So, anyway. That was riveting. Thank you. You're just jealous.
00:55:59
Well, Shaun just mad because he doesn't know how to subscribe to any of them or log into any of them. I don't. I don't want to fucking log into anything. We've talked about this. Get them all. Ashley, help him. She does. We should have an experiment one of these times. I'll be like, Shaun, log into this. And he's going to be like, Ashley. Just like a test to pass. Hey, log into this. I'm getting a little bit better because she has lost her fucking patience with my ass. I know we have it, but I'm just not even going to ask. Shaun, you want to talk about reading glasses? Oh, that's so fucking old. I'm going to have to get them.
00:56:30
It's just getting that bad. I was working spreadsheet today, and I couldn't get it far. By the time I got far enough away where it wasn't blurry, I couldn't fucking read it. Yeah. I can't believe you've waited this long. Like, I hate not being able to see. Well, I can see normally. It's just really when I focus in on it. It's gotten to the point where I can. The spreadsheet is so small. Yeah. But I don't normally. Like, this was one where I took off the computer, and I was doing it because I was feeling better about having it in my hand photo. because I had like three of them going and just felt better about going old school with some of that stuff.
00:56:59
But it was like, God. Well, what happened was I fucking tried some on the other day, and I'm like, oh, my God, these really do. Like, I realized like how much I am missing. I'm like, oh, my God, these things are great. And I'm like, take these fucking things out. And ever since then, it's like my eyes are like, my brain's going, we should just get one beer. Yeah, you tasted it. Like, you drank from the well. Now it's like, you know. They're going to be fucking stuck on my head. God, it happens. Yeah. I'm gonna have to get him too This is a whole fucking reason why I got LASIK So I didn't have a fucking wrong class anymore Okay fuck I forgot that pisses me off for you Like how long ago did you have it Oh I knew they told me when I got LASIK He goes You can have 20-20 vision and still need cheaters He's like your eyes just get old It has nothing to do with like your vision I still want to get LASIK When I like do a normal like distance test Like my eyes are fine Like seeing that stuff is fine It's the up close reading that gets you and he's like there's nothing like he told me he goes just so you know because I got it later in life because I could finally afford it you know that he's like just so you know it's not a cure for all so I knew it was coming yeah Aaron's back to needing glasses to like read screens and books and stuff actually yeah Kara does that too and she had LASIK so I still want to do it just kind of part of it but yeah but I don't have to do it for everything else but now if i'm gonna need fucking cheaters then that's next logan you're gonna get readers and lasik so then i've just taken the high road and just not reading yeah just you know of all the
00:58:32
things in my life i would rather never learn another thing ever again that's awesome just watch football that's it you can't see it fuck no you can't you can see normal that's fine you can see that it's just the up close stuff like you can watch tv like that the screen totally good i'm gonna go the eric route just have ai dictate everything to me yeah i was just i wanted to get my little assistant so i'd be like to read i think that would be very boring watching football that way caveman hits caveman one yard you're like all right cool not the same it's like breed your internet connection is on sale i said make something up then that's a good point actually You're lying to me, bitch.
00:59:16
What am I here to tell you you're wrong? Yeah. Solid. Jesus. All right. So I have one. I have a topic, but I think we should take it to the Patreon. I know. We took a little too long. Why don't you give a little teaser? Yeah, just a little teaser for everybody. We're going to get into, like, drinking myths, like liquor before beer. Yeah. You know, that whole concept. Beer before liquor. Well, and I won't say they're all myths, but that's kind of the best name. Yeah. Some of them might be true. Is this also going to play into like Oh never mind I'm thinking of something else I forget I talked Yeah I was going to say which is most times of my life So I'll bow out So before we get to the dad joke can we just say That's something I'm sure everybody here is struggling with And I want you guys all to know that I'm on your side A rectal dysfunction?
01:00:05
No Oh sorry Just seemed like if I was ever going to say that that was the time to say it This segment is sponsored by Blue Chew Blue Chew Thank you for sponsoring us Oh, he's trying to push his button. Wow. Really felt the same with that delay. Thank you for that.
01:00:25
Also, subscribe to Patreon so we can get Logan a new board. Every motherfucking time I look at my phone, it's a new pop-up for another fantasy football player. Oh, my God. We were just... Thank you. It literally took me that long to hit the button. It does suck. I'm just saying... That's everybody can relate to that. That's a fantasy. You're fucking looking at he's fucking hurt He's you know, this feels like the world forever and now granted I feel like I felt like that every year for the past three years but this one it's like Even if they're not out for the season there hasn't been like season-ending ones I mean, there's a few that fucking cheese player that I was gonna say did you see Taequann Thurton?
01:01:05
I love that. He went to stand up like yeah, and then he just was like oh shit And then his like so he's like right there. He's like pointing at it. He's like what he's like And then the guy was like, oh. In case you want to have adrenaline is real, that's your proof. Nothing 100% confirmed, but I did hear today that it was just dislocated. What? So he may be okay. He'll probably be out for four weeks or something. Dude, it looks sideways. Do you remember the golfer that fucking broke his? Golfer? Yeah. So he hit a great shot, was jumping around. Oh, yeah. And it popped out. He fell down, and he just pops it back in.
01:01:38
Then the way he goes, and everyone's like, oh. And he's like, that's happened. It was like an old football injury in high school, and he's like, you could just pop his ankle in and out, and you're like, God damn. They did say it was dislocated. They popped it back in on the field, and they're estimating six to eight weeks. Okay. Okay, that's a long time, though. Eight weeks is a long time. But I mean, for how bad it looked. Right. Yeah, it looked like it snapped in half. It looked like a potential career ender. Surgery. Surgery, yeah. And it's tough, too, because if the tendons, if the soft tissue stuff is intact, then you're okay.
01:02:07
Yeah. Like, a bone can actually heal fairly quickly. Yeah. But it's like, that's why like the Achilles and, you know, ACL, MCL stuff is so devastating. Cause you just, cause it's so hard. And you can't rush it coming back. And yeah. It's like Cooper, he's dealing with a high ankle sprain. I'm like, and the doctor was like, or one of the guys was like, it might've been better if he just broke it, to be honest with you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's going to be out for so long and he looks fine. Yeah. Like. But it's just like you rush back and then you're going to do worse. He's young. So it's like right over his growth plate.
01:02:39
so we're not fucking with it. And he's like, it hurts a little bit, but not that bad. He's like, get me back in, coach. Let's go. And you're like, you're a freshman, dude. You're not. Yeah, right. Save yourself for senior year. Yeah. So I'm in a guillotine league. That'll be fast. I'm in a guillotine league, which is where if you place last in the league each week, you get kicked out of the league. Oh. Oh, my God. I haven't heard this before. No. Oh, it's so much fun. So it's like a survivor league then, too? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So hold on. So by the end, you win just by points? only one left correct so you don't play anybody you just your team and your points correct so it shows you against whoever is the last i would love to get one of these anyways it's really we can still start one you can do it because i'm sure they last five weeks well right especially with four people yeah the thing that's cool is that the team that gets eliminated uh all of their players shops the waivers oh my god so you can bid and you have like a you know a budget you have a fab budget okay bid to get the best players how have i never heard of this i don't know but i'm super interested they got popular in the last like five years all right i mean like i'm in a survivor thing where it's like you paid 25 bucks you pick a winner every week you can only pick a team once survivor pool yeah those are fun i wish i live and i would like to do that again when we're at nix that nix the other day i wish i would have known about or just yeah i would have been able to would have gotten well the downside of a key team league is injuries you just can't yeah you can't come back for that so let me read you the injuries on my roster this week you get to reload your in so just you get the waiver if i if i make it through the week right
01:04:13
right but yeah you're right yeah yeah so but i guess you have people get hurt you get hurt early in the year how many people started in it uh in ours it was um i think it was like 12 or something with that oh okay yeah but every week it's like so you couldn't have any more than 16 right right yeah but even then that's a pretty big oh it's a no no yeah no i'm just so anyway going through the rules i'm not being judged yeah oh yeah yeah what it would take to do this so okay so this league is an idp league so we have individual defensive players as well so i had zach law on already out but then justin jefferson was on my bench already out breeze hall on my bench already out before the week started and then dj moore got injured edrian cooper towards achilles uh saquon barkley injured jamar chase injured yeah so did you like the grim you don't you better are you out no you better not pick anybody because you're just the grim reaper for every year yeah you're killing all of our players it was horrifying it was the worst injury i've ever seen but you survived but i survived i would give you my lineup and i will give you the lineup of the person I'm playing and I would ask that you pick up all those players.
01:05:28
But having said that, you made it through the week, so now you could drop him. You can go to the waivers now, right? Correct. And all those guys that the guy lost with are there. Correct. So on waivers right now are Bucky Irving just got dropped. He didn't have a ton of running backs. Puka Nakua is on waivers. okay uh drake london chris olave he had a lot of wide receivers he had a good game last night no touchdown because i bet on him to have one but you know so you know so you can go but again you got to kind of manage your budget and figure out how much you want to spend because now i've spent more i went really hard on jamar chase week one and like yeah people so like you know it's just interesting that's fun yeah i'd like to do i'd just to change it up a little bit i'd like to we should talk about doing something like that for next year or whatever or like you said we could actually we're actually going to do another one for like all the people that got kicked out already yeah you know so you can you can keep playing you know all right well let us know i think i'm in i'd be interested yeah yeah last thing i'll say about fantasy just because i showed sean this and he got kind of pissed off i didn't even realize till i pulled it up when i was with him right before the podcast but i was like oh i think i lost these two i have three nfl leagues I won college league.
01:06:47
I won my two fantasy, my two ESPN leagues. I won the other team at 98.42 and I had 98.54. So I won by 0.12. Then the other one, I, he had 119.42 and I had 120.56. So I won two leagues by less than two points. So got really pissed because fucking Ashley came back and beat me the other night and i like and you know she's like you're gonna beat me like the whole day and then like we're literally going to bed and i'm like you fucking kidding me she's like what happened i'm like god you know i was like yeah so i was up by like she had somebody go off for like 30 fucking points in last night's game my one league that i lost was because uh what's his name uh the red skins receiver oh you just did it the commanders oh yeah sorry this is part of why people are pissed off at jason kelsey uh i don't fucking care i know it just i was like that's why those things i was gonna say um but uh terry mclaurin yeah terry mclaurin so he was just out like he it was announced the day of right and i didn't switch him out and so i lost by however many points he was supposed to get so that's a little bit of us bitching about i'm sure you guys all have your own pain for fantasy like i was saying this that you're listening to this going fuck off you wouldn't believe what happened to me. Hold on, though. Did you see how much Ashley beat you by?
01:08:18
It ended up being bigger. Nuh-uh. You had 139.32? Oh, yeah. Yeah. She had 139.92. She blew you by .6. Yes. Less than a point. Yes. Yes. That sucks.
01:08:31
Sorry. I was like, she's like, don't be mad. I'm like, fuck off. I'm fucking mad. Fuck off. And then Erik was undefeated and Adam beat the absolute fuck out of you. I've never, I like, that might be the most points ever scored in our league. 161 yeah jesus anyway congrats julia first i hope you fucking fall off a curb yep give me that dad joke all right he doesn't even have to look at his phone i'm scared why did the invisible man turn down the job at walmart fuck off don't even say anything i'm close i bet you say that a lot why did the invisible man turn down the job at Walmart I don't know go ahead dickhead he couldn't see himself doing it I wasn't close that's funny all I could think of was the greeter at Walmart for some reason and I don't understand why I went there I added the Walmart part to throw you guys off What was the normal joke?
01:09:46
Thank you. That's a dick move. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? Because he couldn't see himself doing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:09:59
I've had a while to think about this. What a dickhead. Hey, thank you guys all for tuning in. Hey, thank you guys all so much for showing up Saturday. We had a great time. We had a blast. The live was fucking awesome. And you guys made it that much cool. and welcome to the new people that have joined us and subscribed to the Patreon. We're heading over there. Hey, especially all the people that took their shirts off and stuff. That was crazy. Thank you for doing that. That was awesome. Logan did it. Thank you to Upload Media for sponsoring the event. Also, thank you to the guys at Confused Breakfast for having us.
01:10:38
It was a great time. We appreciate it. Thanks for looking out for us. Yeah. Cheers. See you on Patreon. See you. Kisses. Kisses.