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Ep. 59 Pt. 2Apr 2, 202656:57

Performative Part 2: Washing your own car / Sleep Sounds / Cigars

This episode of "We're Still Cool, Right?" is just your three most performative hosts —Mike, Shaun, and Erik—kicking back over drinks and swapping stories.

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Quotes from this episode

You just fixed a lot of things wrong in my life.

Ep. 59 Pt. 2 @ 00:35:27

Closing jokes

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Why does everybody on the Nebraska basketball team drive a manual? They like to have four on the floor.

Not a dad jokeEp. 59 Pt. 2 @ 00:07:03

Why can't March Madness players go on vacation? They'd get called for traveling.

Dad jokeErikEp. 59 Pt. 2 @ 00:54:09

Band names from this episode

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Finger Cherries Barrel Sweats

Show notes

This episode of "We're Still Cool, Right?" is just your three most performative hosts —Mike, Shaun, and Erik—kicking back over drinks and swapping stories. They start with laughs about their drink of the week, reminisce about sports, and share memories of opening day at the ballpark. The guys chat about their kids’ surprise podcast takeover, cigars, and picking out a Bourbon Barrel. There’s plenty of banter about music mix-ups, car washing obsessions, and even Tiger Woods’ latest misadventures. It’s a relaxed, fun hangout—just old friends catching up and cracking each other up over life’s little absurdities.

Transcript

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Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

Welcome to We're Still Cool, Right? The weekly podcast where the conversation flows smoother than top-shelf whiskey. And cool, well, it never really left. Grab a drink and hang out with Erik, Mike, and Shaun while they dive into nostalgia and attempt to answer the age-old question. We're still cool, right?

Again, what the fuck was that? Jesus. Damn it, Logan. Jeez! I mean, I'm just, this week is making no sense. I don't know what the hell happened yesterday with the episode, and then I feel like I just, I'm in deja vu. This is fucking Groundhog Day. What's going on? Jesus. Here, Shaun, have a beer. I decided to crack two. Aw, thank you, thank you. With that being said, we're back, baby. Part three. My name is Shaun. I'm Mike. And I'm Erik. And this is the We're Still Cool Right podcast. And yeah, a little curveball coming at you. And you are the host of it. Yeah. We think. I don't know. At least today.

Yeah. I mean, maybe not for longer. Yeah, we'll see how much longer we have our jobs for, right? Goddammit. I love getting laid off. It's my favorite thing lately. You're getting pretty good at it. We're getting really good at this whole getting laid off fire thing. That's all I'll say about that Not necessarily the path you want to go down But in the event you get laid off One of the best things you can do is have a little cocktail Yeah, amen So with that being said, we got the drink of the week Sponsored by Benz Beverage Depot 501 7th Avenue One of these days you're going to forget it and I'm going to make fun of you Yeah Can we just say, look at this garnish It's amazing garnish So as well noted on here I'm terrible at garnish I made this drink That would shocking.

As I'm leaving, Ashley goes, here, you'll need this for a garnish. It's all Ashley who put it together here for me, so shout out to you, honey. Thank you, Ashley. Good job. We have a pina colada here with booze in it. Nice. It smells fantastic. Yeah, it's the. And a snack. Yeah. And a snack here with it. She's got us covered. Yeah, it's the cream to cocoa or cream to coconut. Coconut. That's what it is. Yeah. pineapple juice and then Benz hooked us up with rum which we weren't sure which one to get Erik went in there asking which one and it was like other than Captain Morgan I don't know I don't really drink a lot of rum he was like yep go with this one yeah which one did you get you know I can't remember the name of it yeah I totally should have like wrote that down but they were like you could even do like a clear one and float a dark one on top and I was like oh I don't know if we're getting that crazy today, but like, that's cool. Like, now I want to try that.

But I will say, I mean, like I fucked up that break room. There's blender shit everywhere. It's... I love the place. I was like... For context, he came out and it looked like he just murdered somebody. His hands are stained around. I'm like, what did you do out there, Dexter? Jesus. So you're saying these are finger cherries? Yeah. What's better than Dong Tongs? They're not Dong Tongs. Finger cherries. Oh my god. They're finger cherries, but not Dong Tongs. That was my band name in high school.

Opening for the finger chairs is the Dong Tongs. We need to get that on a shirt by the way. Let's give it a shirt. Dong Tongs and finger chairs. Dong Tongs and finger chairs. Let's get this drink though, cause I don't even know if I can drink it without poking myself in the eye. I know. I gotta pull the snack out. Oh, that's good. Jeez. Mmm. Yeah. I've been waiting a minute to drink that. Fuck diabetes, this is worth it. Right? That's good. so we had these when we were down on spring break cooper wanted to have them have you seen that thing where it's like this is my first pinata or whatever yeah it's like because there's people that do is my first beautiful you know they're commented to get as they're getting hammered this is my seventh you know their tongue well there's like a little kid that does it it's my first pinata or something like that and so yeah so we have videos of that so nice that's why i was like hey i got the drink this time because i still had leftover stuff for it dude good job because this is fucking delicious yeah i haven't had a pina colada in a long time oh yeah and this isn't something that i usually am like hey i need to have a pina colada same but but every time i do i like it because i love coconut so anything have you ever had a miami vice i'll make that next time with it because then you can pour a little um blue carousel maybe no it's you use uh like strawberry like margarita mix oh but put that in there and then it oh it kind of blends together it's delicious I've had a lot of drinks that I have no idea what's in them.

So when you say, have you had a Miami Vice? I'm like, I don't know, maybe. What's in it? I always say people, Mai Tais are popular. I don't think I've ever had one. Maybe I have. I don't know. But like when you're on a cruise and they're just like, do you want this fruity thing? You're like, yeah. So you just drink it. I'll take it. Yes. Does it come in a big container with a straw? Yeah, probably. Is it $42? I'm in. But I get to keep the cup? Yeah. It's a giant novelty thing. Right. Yeah. No, there's a beach ball attached. holding all the way down here just to get the straw yeah i swear to god i have we went up to uh the what's the like water parks the indoor water parks and stuff up in wisconsin uh the dells yeah yeah we went up to the dells and we're at this place and they had that where you get the souvenir cup but if you bring it back you get refills yeah like it lasts forever lifetime refills a dollar off so i have three of these in my closet and i'm like i'm never going back there to save a dollar that's how it always is man same thing you do when we go to curls games it's like you can buy the refillable cup or whatever i buy them i never once have brought it back so i just saw this is a little random but the dodgers released a uh collectible shohei otani cup that you can retake 75 and you get a refill you get free refills for the day of pop they're gonna make their money back on him somehow.

For the day, you can't bring it back on the Jew, Jesus. I'm like, that's insane. That's a lot of pop. That's a lot of pop. That's a lot of pop. Keep him coming. This is where I get my money back. Give me it all. I got to get my money. There are people that are like that, though. Like, I have to drink eight of these in order for this to be worth it. To be worth it. Oh, God. Doing the math. Yeah, I mean, that's one in any. Yeah, sounds good. We'll do it. But hey, I got to say, baseball's back. and uh opening day opening day i mean a little disappointed with the cubs but yeah that part's still just the vibe of the day and opening day is always just like it's gonna be great and i gotta give a little shout out to our buddy matt uh at quentin's they had an opening day event we went it was so much fun place was packed uh free glizzies on the roller from edgewood locker and he had the neon green relish to go with them yeah oh man i saw that good the prizes were i mean so many prize we're giving out. I won a $100 voucher to whatever team I want so I can use it for Cubs tickets, merch. Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, I'm not sad about it. Road trip. Yep. Amen. So, shout out to you, man. That was an awesome event. I heard it was good. I just couldn't get out of work after being gone the week before and everything else. It just wasn't going to work. Yeah. But also, I wanted to be out there. Baseball, I wanted to say, Iowa Hawkeyes are still rolling. How about the Hawks? So, yeah, we're recording this on Saturday, March 28th. I was just going to say, yeah, pretty context. Yeah, they play in game in a few hours three and a half hours from now they play and uh we really hope they win because god man they've been fun to watch it's just so fun to watch that last game was against nebraska just oh the way it didn't lead the whole game and then you know but the funny thing was the spread was i think they were two point favorites and we that's literally they were like two to three points behind the entire game i mean there was a run where they were down like 10 um but then at the end it's just like they don't they don't make mistakes i'm gonna i got a bonus dad joke related to the basketball game. Oh, do it.

Go for it. Why do why does everybody on the Nebraska basketball team drive a manual? Because they like to have four on the floor.

But I'm just, yeah. Yeah, I don't know how you fuck up and don't send that to my guys, but thank you, Nebraska. This is why you eat corn the long way. it was so fun to watch but i felt when i was watching it though that it was like if they could just get the lead i feel like they'll never give it back you know i mean and that's exactly what happened once they yeah because they just couldn't get you know they'd get it really close and then they'd go down then they get early and they just couldn't get over that and then once they took the lead it was it was all over from there so that was and just the big 10 like is crushing it in this tournament yeah i mean we play illinois tonight so it's like even if we lose there's The Big Ten's moving on, but, man, I really hope they win.

To get to the Final Four would be... We were looking up the stats. What was it? 1950-something was the last time they went to the Final Four? Yeah, that was the last time they won. The last time they went, I think. That's when they went to the Finals, I think. Oh, was it? Okay, yeah. 84. 80 was the last time they were in the Final Four. So, Shaun was born. I wasn't. I know that's shocking, but... I was. I was. The Iowa Hawkeye men's basketball team Last reached the Final Four in 1980 Led by Coach Lute Olsen Defeated Georgetown in the Elite Eight Prior to that Iowa also appeared in the Final Four In 55 and 56 It's been a minute It's been a little bit I love this coach I love the team They just don't make a lot of mistakes They're fun to watch Because you feel like they're never out of it Unless there's five minutes left We're down like 18 I'm like there's still a chance man you know there's just something i mean it's it's so fun right now you know i mean having like the hawks be in it and watch it like it's just i love uh you know it's i wish that they're i don't know in some ways it's almost better that they're not good all the time because then it's like this is such a build up there for it but it just makes like everybody talks about it what are you doing or everybody's watching the game you know what i mean it's like yeah it's like everybody's ready for it i think i think it adds a little bit to it that nobody really thought they were gonna to do this.

You know what I mean? Everybody's excited now because they're doing something they weren't expected to. I mean, we're the highest ranked seed left, I think. Nine. I don't think there's anyone. Yeah, because Texas was 11 and they got beat. Yeah. And shout out to Iowa State. They made it far. They lost last night. But we were all hoping they pulled through. I mean, can you imagine it gets in all the final four and it's Iowa versus Iowa State? Like, that would have been... The state might have imploded. Like, let's be honest. There'd be no bush light left anywhere. None. You were the one who shared that.

That was awesome. It was like Nebraska. They played in Houston, I think, right? Yeah. And they were like, they're about to find out. It was Bushlight's Twitter. Was it their Twitter where they said, yeah, bad day to be a Bushlight in Houston, Texas with all the Iowa fans down there? I'm sure that state was enthralled. That is pretty sweet how we run out of Bushlight every time. We do do that. Do they go to a bowl game or anything like that? I'll drink to that. It's pretty sweet. Yeah. But hey, Go Hawks. obviously when this comes out we'll either be really happy or a little sad but yeah can't wait hey there was some other really cool shit that we did this week so I wanted to jump to that yes we did hey Erik what's your shirt say show me your bunghole yeah because if you don't know what a bunghole is that is the hole in the barrel of whiskey and we may have went out and we may have kind of stuck our heads into some bungholes yeah so we this week we went to cedar ridge and we picked out a barrel of bourbon so we're gonna have a we're still cool right barrel thanks to ben's thanks to ben's um yeah matt helped us put that together we went out and picked out we got to try a bunch of different you know murphy just drilled some holes in barrels and poured it straight out of the barrel so we got to try whiskey straight out of the barrel and uh picked out one that we thought was the best for us yeah i think it's a banger so it six to eight weeks i think is kind of what they're saying but we'll see like we'll see where it ends up the state has some some you know variables in there but it'll be nice we'll get to have a bottle right here on

the table and be able to share it with you guys yeah with our logo on it and Benz will sell it and it'll be it's cool it's I mean it was it was a lot of it was so fun those guys out there Murphy was awesome I mean you know just the amount of clearly the amount of knowledge he has but we just kept asking him question after question he just no big deal answering everything I was like you got to be getting annoyed with us yeah he loves talking about it yeah yeah but that was fun and it's how many i mean we tried like seven different barrels yeah and and and we'll just say it we went we went back to a good old number one number one was just we couldn't get it off our minds as we drank five and six and my guys were sitting next to each other i'm like this is awesome i'm like but we can't like the take the first one and we're done i was really glad that he recommended he recommended we go back to one that is really close to that first one so it's like in the same area uh probably some of the same batching same similar dates they were like uh barreled four days apart yeah so like we went back to that and tried it and it was distinctly different but yeah those were the two that we liked the most and so which clearly we were on to something like because those were the two we went back to um i will say the craziest thing that i thought was cool is i i can't i can't explain it as good as he did but it was pretty it was nice out that day like it was pretty gorgeous but he's like it's going to be a lot colder in the barrel room and i'm because the whiskey and the condensation everything and he's like you'll notice like a 15 degree shift and it's crazy you walk in there and

you're like it's like someone has the ac on and it's open at both ends and you're like what the hell yeah it was awesome it's all because the day before it was cooler so it holds the temperature So like whatever you it's like whatever the temperature was the day before when you go in there That's what it's gonna be yeah, cuz he was saying it would if it was hot out. It would have been hotter hotter in there Yeah, I'm glad we did so we're sweating our balls out Okay, it was pretty nice in there that day, but I can't imagine if going in there after July yeah Ninety degrees out there I get a little it like in friends when Joey says he has the meat sweats We be like oh we got the barrel sweats The whiskey sweats What that Barrel sweats band name Yep Goddammit we on fire We need to write these down.

Logan joined even, and we shot some content, so we'll get some stuff out, but obviously we'll let everyone know when the bottles hit and you can pick them up at Benz. And we think a few of our friends at some local establishments are going to carry some bottles too, so more to come. It's pretty fucking fun. It was just one of those cool things like that, that we get to do here with this stuff. So a bucket list thing. Yeah. It's cool that the show has allowed you to have that experience. Yeah, absolutely. Exactly. Especially how Cedar Ridge started at Benz basically like in the back of Benz. Yeah.

So, I mean, it's just talk about coming full circle. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I had kind of forgot about that. Like he started talking about that and I'm like, now I remember like they were literally in the garage space. It's like it's Lightworks now is the cafe. but like they were based out of there and had everything in in this tiny little space compared to what they have now where they're just yeah yeah which that's what that was really awesome hearing all the story you know i mean and then you see how big they are now and how i mean good for them it's their success and yeah that they've been but to see where they started where they had to pull the pallets out just so they could work and put them back in there you know it's like wow that's uh and our doctor's office basically is right next to it and you're probably get the out of the parking lot it worked out really well yeah it was good before we move on to like the official show can i claim a couple minutes to talk about your kids yeah oh yeah because you met them we're recording this it's an interesting thing because we're recording this right after that right yeah behind the curtain stuff yeah you haven't heard it yet no no but i have right and everyone who's listening to this probably did also right at least some of it right it came out yesterday right for them um they did a great job you have cool kids yeah so congrats thank you you've raised cool people they are cool that's definitely so cool right yeah yeah have a cool kid always gonna be cool so i don't know what i'm curious to know a little bit like what you were picturing was gonna happen because i don't think what happened was what you were thinking was gonna happen i'm sure not and that's kind of why i didn't want to be in the room or involved is i

want them to do their own thing but really like they said they wanted to be on and they wanted to do it and our vision was a little bit of an april fool's joke that they're taking over the podcast and that was it and we wanted them to run with it right so that's kind of where we left it yeah and um based on what you've said i mean they took it in a little bit different direction but i'm excited to hear it because i love watching our kids express themselves yeah and feeling comfortable in their own skin and that's a big thing that we're all about as far as parents yeah yeah well and they get along really well and it's not like they're in the same i mean i guess they're in the same school but not same class you know i mean sophie's not like so but then they get together and when we're at the pool or wherever at they always end up having fun so that's when they were like hey we kind of want to be on the podcast like that sounds kind of cool yeah um we met with them and kind of we talked about we just wanted to get them started because we were like once you they were nervous get a start going then you'll you start forgetting the mics are here and we're like once you put on the headphone like you just start talking like we do um so that's what when we met we were just more trying to help give them something to start on and then figure that they go so it's cool that you say that they just kind of took the ball and ran with it yeah if you're familiar with kind of like how tv works at all it felt a little bit like what we would call a backdoor pilot okay where there's like an episode of a show that really is actually designed to be a pilot for a different show right oh yeah yeah you know so you've probably

experienced that at some point yeah yeah um they essentially made their own podcast it's not really like your podcast at all those fuckers they had one job i said don't steal my job but you guys you know it naturally turned into like okay well instead of impersonating you it was like a they're just themselves replacing you right and so it became like okay well let's talk about let's talk about school like what's going on at school what are the things we're experiencing have you ever have you ever like do you do car circles at your school they started and it naturally evolved into like man it's like kids are so performative right now and authenticity is so important like really sincere conversations about like being young people in the world and like i think it was super cool to hear young people talk like that yeah you know because we don't that's not something that's just out there not enough no no for sure i'm excited because when we came in you're like first of all they just did their own like that was a full half hour podcast that they just did and took off and ran with it 100 like you said it was good so i'm i'm yeah it made as a parent to a young four-year-old child yeah and also to a teenager it made me feel good yeah you know to hear that like it gave me some hope in the world you know to be honest so we forget that the world like i mean it's it's not the best some days but knowing that there's kids out there and i guess i'm blowing ourselves right now. I don't mean to, but like there are good parents who are raising their kids who just grow up and be themselves and do your thing.

And you know you're still loved and cared for and not going to judge you or anything. And I feel like you think you're doing that, but you don't know that for sure until they're having a recorded conversation with each other. Until they get a microphone in front of them. Like, what are they actually going to say? Who are they actually going to be? They were really awesome. It would have been funny if we came in and they're just like, all we did was trash you guys. I also have been like, I'm just as excited to hear that. The April Fools is really on us. Yeah, exactly. When this comes out, I'm going to be like, what the fuck, Logan?

What's this? You've been bamboozled. Psych. Yeah. So if you, audience member, are listening to this episode and you skipped the last one because it was an April Fools thing or whatever, I beg you to go back and listen to it because it's worth your time. I think it's really, really cool. Yeah. Let us know what you think in the comments and stuff, too. We love the fact that they wanted to do this. and we were excited about it because it's funny but also I'm happy that they had a good time with it. You remember when we came up with this? This was last year in the Ozarks. I thought we were at your pool.

No, we were at the pool at the Ozarks. Not on the boat or anything. We talked about having the ladies on and then we were like, God, it'd be funny to have the kids on and I just happened to look at my calendar and I'm like, guys, April 1st, an episode's going to come out. Let's save it for that. Almost a year later, we finally did it. The kids had all been individually asking us to do it or to be on in some way and we were like, let's just do this. That makes the most sense. And I'm so psyched because at the end of it, they were excited about it. They wanted to do more of this. And I'm like, young people want to make podcasts?

Yeah, that's so great. Podcasts are so cool, evidently. Podcasts are cool, man. Logan hits us with them. We got a business proposal for it. It's like, oh, great. Yeah, my Logan said that. I was like, oh, we're screwed. There we go. Just talk this way to another one.

So thank you for letting me know thank you for doing it always always feels good to hear and again We haven't heard it yet. I'm so excited to hear it. So that's getting a compliment about your kids is way cool Should we get into a still cool nothing falls up talking about your teenagers like cigars Here's our cigars so cool. I've never been huge into cigars I don't like if someone has one or especially there's something about a fall night whiskey in your hand, sitting around a fire, and then having a cigar. I'll always like that. But I've just never been the huge cigar guy. And I feel like cigar lounges used to be a bigger thing.

I remember at Westdale Mall when I was in high school, there was a cigar shop in there. That's right. Where you could sit in there in the mall and smoke cigars, which is crazy to think about now, right? But I don't see people doing it as much. And they're still for sale places. I mean, Wine and Spirits, people have Buffalo Trace-wrapped cigars and stuff like that. But I don't know. I feel like it's gone away a little bit. So I love them. Like I have a humidor at home, you know, just like small one or whatever. And I love sitting out on the porch, you know, and just having one with whiskey or whatever.

I normally have about one a week or something like that. Depends on what's going on when I'll do it. Not in the winter because it's too cold. Like I don't want to do it. I know some people set up in their garage and do stuff like that. but i've gotten into a lot more and it's actually getting pretty popular that there's an app kind of like the craft beer one that same thing because you have so many different kinds you don't really remember that you can leave notes like this one you know gave me a cotton mouth yeah like in the morning i felt horrible or like you know whatever you know and then you can make notes for it so then when you go in those huminors you're like which one do i want it is it's overwhelming so um so yeah my uh benjo remote producer benjo is onto that and he's the one who told me about it that you can do that and so it's a cool i think it's getting more popular for people to do it i was i mean back in the day i used to smoke so i never cigars i'd like inhale them you know i mean and then it was like gross or then after i quit like i didn't want to do a cigar again because i didn't want to like start wanting to smoke you know i mean so i didn't want to do that to like reintroduce yeah i didn't want to then all of a sudden be like back to a nasty habit so um but i i've gotten into it and that was something i was gonna say is like so i i've never really smoked and thus i've also never really i've tried cigars just because a friend wanted yeah and i was like i'm curious you know i'm always like interested in things um but i think the people not smoking has driven some of that down a little bit yeah but i do see a lot of like a lot more

connoisseurs of cigars like somebody actually like wants to appreciate it and i do think that it is cleaner and more you know healthy if you will more so than a cigarette you know what you don't inhale it as much you know i mean it's kind of like for the most part it's more just the tobacco leaf and a wrapper right right yeah like you're not all the added yeah it's it's none of the it's missing the other stuff yeah all the other ones those things in it i mean i'm sure some of them are like that but depends on yeah by the way i just thought as i said that when you were like i have a little humidor i'm like oh yeah we have some cigars yeah i got those that we got those buffalo trace ones that we got to have this summer yeah um but anyway but yeah no so but it's it's just one of those when you do it you can just let it go forever if it goes out you can light it again you know i mean it's one of those like i'll have one and a lot of times it's i'll be just kicking it on the deck maybe i'm watching a game or something like that and have it out you know and do it like that, but it's just kind of like a fun thing to do. Or golfing.

It's great to learn the golf course. Yeah, that's a good point, too. Have you seen the... Have you seen the... Have you seen the little clip for your cart? Those keep popping up. I'm like, I don't even smoke cigars. Evidently, I need one. I was going to say, you need a cigar. I feel like you would still buy it, even though you don't. You're like, well, I never know. I might want one. Erik would, because Erik would be like, well, I wouldn't want someone to be golfing with me and not have one of these, because that's just the kind of guy Erik is. He's like, don't worry, I got you. Right, I got you.

it's never been used even here you go so yeah i don't know i've always enjoyed it like i said but i just don't see it as much it's not as prevalent i don't do it often i enjoy when i do but i don't know i just wondered because it's harder to you could still buy them places and you could still go to a tobacco outlet or whatever the places are called now and they have them but i even feel like the the variety at those places it used to be like tons yeah and it's a lot smaller now so i just feel like maybe more of it's a niche thing now i don't know well i think they're you know it's expensive right you know you go and so how many thousands of dollars are in those humidors that they have you know worth of those things that i'm sure it's a smaller amount you know smaller group that would have them you know i mean that would do it so there's a couple good spots in cedar rapids that have them though yeah you go in and you go in and get get good ones or order them online i get them online a lot because you can get them cheaper you can get deals through that thing oh that makes a lot of sense that's what i was gonna ask is like does online kind of kill that because you think about like a local place you're gonna get a small number of people i assume that come in and get there and so you're just sitting on product and property and yeah xyz so like does the online thing i think that's i think that's what's killed a lot like when you say like that used to be in westdale mall or something like that like those used to be more you'd see in more places but i think online probably did a lot because the other thing is online you'll order and you get like 10 of them you know i mean or 20 of them you know so um that's one thing when you do

that then you have to have a humidor otherwise they're gonna go bad yeah i mean if you don't then you just you ruin them so um so it's i mean it's definitely is a little bit of an investment like anything else or for if you're gonna buy it you know it's not whatever but i i love it I'm just chilling. A little whiskey, a little cigar. I was going to say, I'll never not enjoy those things together. So for me, it's still cool. They go together really well. Even if it feels like it's going away, for me, it's still going to be a little. Yeah. I don't know what it is, man, but it goes. We're also getting older, so maybe it's getting cooler.

I always feel like it was an older guy thing. You don't see a lot of young people having a cigar. Can you imagine some kids are hanging out? He's like, do you want to go for a smoke break? And a guy just chops the end of a cigar.

Just a big old heater. yeah yeah bro you're a senior what are you doing so i was gonna ask because this is like this is an area where i don't even need to weigh in because i'm just not a smoker and never have really been interested but like i always think it's funny when i see like a petite woman or like oh my god like get a big old stogie and i'm just like that it's such a weird that would blow my mind you know what the opposite of that is when you have like a six foot four 280 guy light up a fucking Big old So I let you guys vote on this To me, I kind of don't really need to weigh in.

I would say it's not cool for me, but I don't think that it's not cool for other people. Really quickly before you vote, just to give you some extra info and context here at the end of your discussion like I usually do. Please. I'm reading an article from Esquire that is The Lost Art of Cigar Smoking. It came out in November of last year. so fairly recent they estimate that uh about four percent of the population is cigar smokers so is that up or down i wonder over like so really interesting great question yeah so they say cigarette smoking is drastically trending downward oh yeah and has been for decades right but interestingly since covid cigar smoking is actually trending up a bit that makes sense um they said that in the lockdowns in 2020, cigar imports actually skyrocketed, hitting 456 million in 2021, the first time imports had surpassed 400 million since 1997.

Wow. So kind of people like maybe changing their mindsets a little bit, maybe just trying some new things, maybe just trying to break out of the COVID rut or whatever. That's a good point, though. I forget that we have to like, that COVID is always going to be a thing tied to what is still going on. Right. Like to me, COVID's over. We're done with it. That's some old shit, right? But it's not. it changed a lot of things. There's a reason people got into home projects and stuff like that. Everyone was bored out of their mind. You could still order cigars online and smoke them so it makes sense it went up. Two worlds, right? Pre-COVID, post-COVID. Yeah.

It's so crazy. Post-apocalyptic. Yeah. What's changed? We talk about, even when you think about before that, the big milestone I think of is 9-11. That made a change in people's lives but it wasn't like people were changing their hobbies because of it you know yeah it was like yeah travel is impacted or whatever like yeah you know that part changed but yeah very but like it didn't change people's like day-to-day lives in the same way other than obviously people impacted directly but like that that's kind of crazy like when you think about those milestones throughout our history thanks a lot bin laden yeah god i just watched that movie there if you haven't watched the hangover in the last 10 years revisit it another shot goddamn funny oh my god it's so good just i think it'll always hold up yeah uh but anyway yeah i think i think we both are in agreement still cool i'm cool i think i think for sure so for sure so stamp it boom boom um did you have one yeah uh so i'm stealing one of mics because i thought it was a good one and it it fits something i don't want to i'm intrigued i don't even know what you're gonna say right now so um it's not i don't know if it's really a still cool i think it's a topic for lingerie's discussion always always moving on maybe the coolest actually now that we're talking about what do you guys like when like listen to when you're going to sleep oh so mike had kind of said like hey i like to listen to xyz while i'm falling

asleep or you know my mind like like if you're just if you're what do they call it like just doom scrolling like you're laying in bed you know you're going to bed in like an hour but you just feel like scrolling what do you like want to watch just chill out yeah so what do you think is the best for that i seem to always like do tick tock at night which is bad logan's is porn no really just like had this like visceral sense memory when you said that of me in college stressed out my mind brain on fire listening to Enya on repeat oh yeah right what sounds are you making right now what is this? I don't know hold on we're making Enya sounds yeah I just remember like my buddy Chris he listened to it all the time I think you're thinking of a different one but I know exactly what you're talking about I just can't think of the name am I thinking Yanni I don't know Like a chill music band am I wrong look at you you're old with me now No, you can't. No, you can't.

Logan, what did you do to me? I have no idea what I'm talking about now. Stop it! I can't breathe! Oh, is Enya a person? I'm so confused. You guys don't remember those, like, in the middle of the night, those, like, compilation CDs they'd sell you? And there was that one that sounded like Indian, like, it was like, hey, hey, oh! Yeah, I know what song you're talking about. I thought that was Enya! Do you know that song I'm talking about? I know the song you're talking about. Well, who sings it? Goddammit! Alright, I'm gonna say Enya Indian song and see what comes up. I swear to god I'm right about this.

This is Enya. Oh, Enigma! He's thinking of Enigma, yeah. Is that Enya that you're playing? This is Enya. Ohhhhhhh. Okay, now play- okay. Enya's a singer, it's like classic kind of song. Alright, now play the Enigma. I'm going to have to wait for the fucking YouTube ad. Goddammit, I- why did I think that was Enya? Enya! Dude, I would have bet- if you were like, I'll bet you $100, I would have shook your hand so fast. You'll bet you $100 right now. I would have been so wrong. Oh, man. This is called Return to Innocence. Yes. That's the song. That's the song, yeah. You hear it now, you hear it now.

I'm not the stupid guys, I really am the idiot! All of our friends are screaming at the radio because of you- like they knew exactly what song you were talking about. They knew what I heard you about! I've never even heard of a nickname! I don't even know what the fuck that is! But they also- but people also know what that is. That song, Only Time, has 500 million downloads on Spotify. Oh yeah? Well guess how many Return to Innocence has. I don't know. Me neither, hold on. I'm gonna be so pissed if it's not a lot. Where'd it go? 35! Fuck off. That's gotta be a lot. How many did that have? Like 500 million on Spotify?

This has...aw, dammit. 205 million. That's still a lot! I do know that song. It's just so funny that you... God dammit, dude. I was... I can see it, Enya, Enigma. I can kinda get it. I can too. You can't make that stuff up though. That was the funniest thing. Welcome to being old, buddy. I've talked about that song for like 20 years, and I've always said Enya. ever corrected me. So it goes to show you no one knows who the fuck sings that song. So everybody like younger generation, like your kids and below are gonna say, oh yeah, that's Enya. Enya, yeah. Everyone tag Enya and tell her I'm sorry, or him, whoever it is, I don't know.

And tell Enigma I've been doing his work for fucking 20 years, alright? Goddammit. What, what? Okay, yeah, listening to things in the hospital. So you listen to Enya. i listen to a nickname uh no fuck that was supposed to be like a 20 second punch i know you're fine i'm honestly you just fixed a lot of things wrong in my life but i like the the like the visceral memory thing because that like that's exactly what i'm talking about is like something that you know you did this because like you needed to relax and fall asleep like yeah right you're struggling that's the whole point of it i started on these like youtube videos and it's like if you've ever had a massage you've ever been like gotten a massage the music they play in there and it's very just like yeah it's enya it might be when i leave here i'm gonna listen to and be like i've never heard any of this music before but that's i've started doing those so just yeah or rain videos actually has sleep music she'll be like when we turn on sleep music i'm like yep and then she turns it on it's like yeah my son i mean logan is always for i mean honestly before covid or maybe he started it during covid listening to sleep music he's got this playlist it's the same song every time but sometimes like youtube takes it down and then they'll put it back up and it's also like from a christmas movie it looks like it's like the sky and it's just like snow-covered house but it's the same song every night he listens to it every single night so the kids used to like we had we played music in their room since they're when they're little like because

we wanted you want to get used to noise used to noise yeah so they could sleep through it and with those baby monitors i just i for a while that i couldn't fall asleep until that music was playing oh yeah i mean like that was like me right now yeah like we have a playlist for marlo she's four yeah and she's in the same like room as us we're on the same floor yeah i hear that music and i fall asleep yeah exactly if you travel do you need to like turn it on like a lullaby like and that helps you like yes i get it yeah i mean yeah like ours was a cd because they had these little cd players like it just play on repeat and we had to i think we bought the cd like 10 times over and we had to buy a new you know cd player because it burned out like because it would just play all the time yeah it was great mine's not so much music i told when we came up with this idea Mine was this like year rose obsessed with rug cleaning videos. Oh, and it was the guy with the white boots Yeah, like any yes, for the blue stuff on it And I don't know what it is, but that shit is so relaxing pushes all that offers like Now roll it over you dirty Watch me do it's like I got caught watching I swear yeah Have you have you heard a power wash simulator the video I have heard of it. I haven't done it. It's so fun There are people that like stream that as a game. I'm like

Yeah, oh, it's great. I bet I Mean I love power washing videos recently been watching people do sealant like the black tar stuff that seals driveways You know the way they just nicely put that edge you're like ooh, yeah, just like that And if that's not being in your 40s, I don't know what to say. What are you doing in the bathroom? Watching carpet cleaning videos?

Give me that phone. Let me show you what porn is. Let me get you back to normal here, buddy. Have you seen that clip where the guy takes like the, it's like a ratchet strap and he throws it over his shoulder and it hooks on the other side of the trailer? Everybody's like, like the, it's the wife. laying there thinking like, what is he thinking about? And then it's that. It's like the, she sounds hideous. Well, she's a guy. I bet he's thinking about someone else. Nope, you're just thinking about whipping your head. So I don't know when it happened, but my step son Liam, he's 16. He falls asleep to YouTube videos of like video games, but they're all... You told me this, but it's like violent.

They're all like violent first person shooters. So I'll walk past his room and it'll be like 1 a.m. and he's down to sleep but it's like the loudest like gunfire and shouting back in vietnam yes it's insane i couldn't sleep to that no when he grows up and he's gonna want to like live in chicago like downtown so it's like you know where shots are fired i feel my blood pressure rising he goes there's not enough crime i gotta go south I can't sleep!

He's like, I need to be deployed right now. Boots on the ground, baby! I sleep like a baby! Oh, God. It's horrifying. I can't even sleep with the TV on. Kara will have it on, but she at least has a sleep timer. And it's always criminal minds, which is fine. But I can't fall asleep. Eventually, the TV turns off and I can fall asleep. A lot of people sleep with the TV on. I can't do that. i used to i'm not a fan of it i used to need it on and then i'd set like a sleep timer so you know some of those nights i like had to reset it because tv on i'm getting it yeah i'm watching it or whatever but these youtube videos will be like darker and have like very minimal movement and so i like that but aaron aaron like loves falling asleep to cheers or the golden girls and so now i've started to like oh yeah when we were there yeah we were singing the theme song at Leonardo's. Golden Girls. But man, cheers.

They recently showed the... We've talked about Norm and stuff before, but I forgot about the episode on Patty's Day where they have the rival bar and them fight over trying to make the other one close so they can steal the business. I don't even know that I've seen that. Oh my god, it's hilarious. They walk in and the other bar had snuck into the bar and literally brick and mortared the entire bar so it's all concrete. You can't get in. And they're like, what the hell happened to Woody? And all of a sudden you hear him like, hello? He fell asleep and he was trapped in the concrete wall. Oh, my God.

It's so funny. Love Cheers. I would say, yeah, I normally fall asleep before Ashley, too. So it's either her sleep music or whatever she's watching. That's pretty much what it is. It definitely has to be calmer, though. I mean, Criminal Minds, I can sleep like a baby after that. But I don't think I can hear Call of Duty on hardcore and then be like, all right, goodnight. I do better with there being sound, though, and not quiet. like if it's quiet then i feel like then i start getting in my own mind yeah it can be a scary place to be so yeah most of the time i like i take some melatonin and i'm within 10 minutes i'm just gone yeah and it doesn't matter but if i can't sleep like i'm struggling to sleep then having one of these things works um it used to be before i found these youtube videos um i would watch marvel movies that i've seen like a hundred times yeah i mean so like i would just go back to a movie be that I've seen and I would watch it for a little bit and then just zone out because I've seen it a hundred times.

Yep. So that's when I used to fall asleep with the TV on, it was always like friends or something like that where like I'd seen every episode and I could like listen to it and know what was going on And then I fall asleep You know what I mean I have to be like watching it I like knew what they were talking about so like i would fall asleep that way yeah and i also felt like i got like every minute out of the day right i was listening to that and then i was asleep yeah as opposed to like god now i just want to go home and watch rug cleaning videos to enigma would you guys rather give i will tolerate no and you hate on this podcast I can't name a song, so you get no hate from me.

Would you guys rather give up cheese or blowjobs if you had to give one up? Jesus. What? My hardest left turn I've heard on this show. No, I just felt like a good time. That was a... Not a good time bringing it up for a lot of you. Sorry.

Man, that's kind of odd. Give up cheese or blowjobs? That's a good question. I'm a big fan of pizza. Cheese is a key. I thought you were going to say something else, let me be honest with you. depends where you pie it at oh i'm not answering i'm the one that gets tagged in a video all the time um i i would say bj's for sure because like you think about it there's you know other ways to manage there and you can't make a pizza without cheese. You're right. Aaron, you're safe. And cheese is amazing. It is amazing. Okay, so. There are cheeses now. If you were like, we got into a particular type of cheese, I would be like, yeah, we could fuck that, like, get rid of that cheese forever.

I don't know. The one hurts my jaw, so I think I'd rather give up cheese. I think that's the only thing that was going with that. I'm just tired of stretching all the time. Jaw is hurt. Sorry, that was a squirrel moment, but. so what was oh what do we listen to that was just more of a comment sorry one more random thing that I've been meaning to ask it's not as bad as what I just said do you turn your head when eating tacos like this isn't bad you look at me like I'm going to say something really dirty I say it every time baby so someone told me someone at third base one day was talking about this and they go they said do you turn your head when eating it And they said, if you do, the taco is dominating you.

And I was like, oh, fuck. It really does have a stranglehold on me because I can't. Which way do you turn? I just would have never figured I'm submissive. You know what I mean? It depends if you're doing left or right or both. You know? Oh, it's always this way. I mean, it's the whole thing. That's the reason a burrito is beneficial is you can. Yeah, it is. It's got a bottom. Unless the taco doesn't have a bottom. You just look like you're an air dick in there. Oh, no. It's a really big hunger bird. Oh, no.

No, I always tilt to the right now that I think about it. Yeah. Yeah. Hang to the left, tilt to the right. It's all about balance. That's the truth.

That way it's going to fall over. Otherwise, it's too much weight. Oh, no. Tripod. All right. How about washing your car in the driveway? Oh. That used to be like a total my dad thing. You know what I mean? Like every Saturday he was watching. Also every like 80s and 90s movie. Yeah. Everyone's just washing their cars. They're washing their car in the driveway. I'm a big fan. I actually just bought a new power washer because. You do it. I want the foam cannon thing. Yeah. Like I see these videos with the foam cannon. Yeah. For the record, people give me shit, especially you about how when I get into something, like I go so hard.

Erik's way worse than I am. He just does into everything. He's into everything. So it's not, I'm just saying like, that's all you talk about. Like you'll get into it. That's what I mean. Like, I mean, I'm going to be honest. I bought two power washers because I wanted to see which one I liked better.

And then he's going to, when he's done, he's going to play power washing simulator. Had the two go at it. We're going to have power washing duels.

He's like, one of them's going to die eventually. have you seen the guys that do that with like the dewalt and like milwaukee they would torque them up together and then like strap the go buttons and be like boom and let it go and it's just like going nuts no and it'd be till one falls apart really and then they're like milwaukee takes down the wall i've never seen that dude it's hilarious yeah anyway um that's a good question yeah washing your car in the driveway so i used to do it too yeah i mean like my dad kind of got me onto that so i would do it but now the car the monthly thing is so easy oh yeah like i just pay for it every month and then just drive like 30 bucks all the time yeah yeah because it's like right by my office so i get it done i do i probably go almost every day but i do the i do the subscription but i have the power washer for like decks and everything else yeah and like the kids is cars i don't pay for the subscription so no i wash their cars take mine through the well i got thinking about it because sophie's car is just i don't even know the last time it was washed so bad yeah same with vogans but also like the thing i worry about the most with their car i'm like your car can be dirty it's fine but it's like after winter you're like you need to get all the salt and shit off the bottom well i'm not doing that i'm not fucking you know what i mean so it's like go run it through the the car wash right also your subscription i'm not a tax advisor this is not tax advice. Your subscription can be written off for your business.

Because you have to keep your car clean to go do business. Oh, we should probably do that for the podcast. We need clean vehicles. I agree. So if you're a tax person, hit us on. Speaking of that, I just had to drop mine off the other day. Already getting emails about God, do you have this? Do you have this? It's like, shit. I'll probably be extension. That's the biggest problem with all that is just keeping everything. We've talked about that one day. if we have to do that. I'm like, ugh. Fucking grown up. I know. Such a grown up thing. Yeah. I just want to be young and listen to Enya. Taxes are not cool.

Taxes are never cool. Not cool at all. We started wars over this shit. Now we just happily pay it. Let's start throwing tea in a harbor. I know. We lost our way. Yeah. A bunch of spineless pussies now. Speaking of someone who lost their way, fucking Tiger Woods. Can we talk about that one a little bit? Oh my. God, he's an idiot. What the fuck? He's so dumb. like why why does he drive ever you don't need to drive like i would that's what somebody talk about i would fucking love to have a driver yeah but that'd just be if i had money i'd like i wouldn't drive i i've we've said this before like we talk about this at the bar all the time but it's like you think about any student athlete like anybody in this space yeah if you're gonna if you're gonna have a career in this and you're gonna make money yeah hire somebody as a fucking babysitter. Don't make that stupid decision.

Don't do that. If even they can't wrangle you, then you need to fucking look at your life. You know what I mean? But we said before the podcast, you were like, maybe he just really likes driving drunk or driving fucked up on pills. Buy a fucking big plot of land and get a side-by-side. Go nuts. Go fucking crazy. Run into trees, buddy. Do it. Yeah, who gives a shit? You could buy 200 acres and just go fucking have a time of your life. Literally, buy an old racetrack. That's not being used anymore. Go down. Just stay off the fucking road where everybody else is at when you're all pilled out. Because even after he paid his ex all that money, he's back to a billionaire, isn't he?

Oh, yeah. He's got to be. Even if not, he's fine. He's not running out of money. He doesn't need money. He needs a fucking driver. You think some young up-and-coming golf kid who's like 20-something wouldn't be like, hey, for 100K, I'll drive you around all year? I'd do it. That's what I mean. Yeah, it's like, dude, fucking stupid. run all his women around different places. Keep him out of trouble. This is a good time for me to reach out to him. Dude, same. I'm about to lose my second job as a podcaster to my kid. Dude, the only thing he loves more than golf is like horror signing NDAs, popping pills and driving.

It's like, what an idiot. God. He used to be the poster boy for America. Like, that was what we wanted to be right now. Really good at golf. Really good at golf. Nothing else. Yeah. I don't know. He'd probably lay some sod. You know what I'm saying? He was banging like 30 chicks at the same time. What did we say? Laying sod equals stiff pants? Oh, yeah. Stiff socks.

Laying sod equals stiff socks. Especially for Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods, y'all! I'll never get over people that are that much money. It just goes to show you can't buy common sense. You know what I mean? This guy's not an idiot. Well, it also shows he's been through all these surgeries and all this other stuff. He probably fucking does have a pill addiction. You know what I mean? They say all that stuff like how easy it is to get addicted and he's had how many surgeries and how many different things. It doesn't help when he keeps crashing his cars because he's fucked up. If you want to keep that going and you got money, don't fucking drive.

He does look high as shit most of the time. I was watching him on that new the golf thing that they're doing, which is fucking awesome. Yeah, the TGL? Yeah. It's fucking cool to watch. That's fucking awesome. He always looks kind of high. Well, yeah.

He gets to be like, I don't drink. Only pills. What is that? Las Vegas? I can't remember. I don't drink. Only hard drugs. Just heroin. Okay, that's it. He doesn't shoot it up. It's not dirty. Anyways. I don't know. You guys ready for a dad joke? Yeah. Wait, well, you have to decide washing your car in the driveway. Oh, that's true, yeah. Thanks for bringing it back. Not if you're Tiger Woods, because you know you're driving after that.

I've never been a big person to do it. I'm just like, it's a lot of work to get all the shit out, and I have to keep the stuff on hand. And then I'm like, am I scratching the paint? I don't know. I don't fucking wash a lot of cars. I think it's just too cheap and easy now that I'm going to say no. It's too easy to go to other places. I'm going to say yes, because i i like power wash simulator i like want to do it like it's fun honestly away from me i just i don't even care if it's cool or not i enjoy doing it because like i get satisfaction out of like the soap and then the like cleaning it off like you do with the fucking carpet cleaner i i do with the power you got me there that's a good point actually you know what you need to start recording you and like jorts doing it and i will watch those videos yeah so they can go on the calendar we're making hi this is where i'm gonna make my money fuck feet finder so i think you're both right i'm with you it's easy so i have a subscription that's just what i do now but when you got a fucking sweet like old collector car or something like that and you have that you know like you got the my freaking white truck is it cool enough to get that you know i mean what do you got a really cool one then i think that's i do think like it is it's what what car are you washing is the automated things are much harder on paint and stuff yeah i think like you would take your collector car through the there's no way you'd do that so that's a good point yeah so then i think in that level it's cool but otherwise yeah it's weird that that's nostalgic though i would have never thought of that but it's like that was such a nostalgic thing because like

dads were out in their driveways every weekend every movie showed hey tom hey dick like just washing their washing yeah yeah man it's gonna get real awkward in my neighborhood with the jorts I can't wait I can't wait I'm just going to be a peeping Tom just watching from afar Rub it harder, dickhead You missed the spot Get down nice and deep like There's like a bunch of old ladies having car accidents in my neighborhood I've got Tiger Woods again Alright, we'll take the dad joke now Oh, get us out of here Okay So this one's March Madness related. Why can't March Madness basketball players go on vacation?

Why? Oh, sorry. I don't know. Because they'd be called for traveling. Oh. That is such a dad joke. It is. And it's so simple, but I never would have got there. I was overthinking the shit out of that. Because you're the final four. I don't know. Because you're busy. Yeah. Duck, dickhead. Get on the court and do your job.

Yeah. Oh, with that being said, there's another one in the books here, guys. Thank you for tuning in and joining us. Check out the Patreon. Yes. Check out the Patreon. And I was going to say shout out to our kids. That was awesome. We appreciate you guys doing that. We hope you guys enjoyed it. And like Logan said, if you haven't listened to it, go give it a listen. And thank you to Logan here at Upload Media for everything he does for us. For sure. Oh, you motherfucker. Every time I give him a shout at he does that.

Back's not doing that again. Got it. That's the benefits of the board. I know, I'm so jealous. One of these times he's gonna sit in my seat and I'm gonna be back there. I'm just gonna fucking light you guys up the whole time.

Who can say you? He does know it. That's not Enya, that's Enigma. This is Enya. What are you talking about? Enigma this is India inside it's that's and yeah this is why what what they're close and I get to a part where an Indian guy goes like oh they do sound like it they're close yeah do you at least see my point all right so we need a DJ out there to do a mix DJ and you mad at you by the way you're only have one song it is not me fuck all right thank you guys see ya fire I are you sure that's fucking dude it is blowing my mind right now