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Ep. 60Apr 8, 202658:02

Flip Phones / Using the Middle Urinal

Shaun, Mike, and Erik crack open some drinks and dive into a solid mix of topics. They reflect on their kids' episode, recorded as an April Fools' bit, and how proud they are of how genuine the kids were.

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What's the difference between the pizza guy and Mike's dad? The pizza guy shows up when you call him.

Not a dad jokeErikEp. 60 @ 00:53:57

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What does calling twice in a row mean to you?

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Show notes

Shaun, Mike, and Erik crack open some drinks and dive into a solid mix of topics. They reflect on their kids' episode, recorded as an April Fools' bit, and how proud they are of how genuine the kids were. They knock back a nostalgic lunchbox drop shot, courtesy of Benz Beverage Depot, then debate whether flip phones are still cool. From there, it's urinal etiquette, a hilarious TikTok guy yelling fast food slogans, and a classic story about Mike nearly dropping his pants in a Burger King drive-thru. Good times all around.

Transcript

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Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

Welcome to We're Still Cool, Right? The weekly podcast where the conversation flows smoother than top-shelf whiskey. And cool, well, it never really left. Grab a drink and hang out with Erik, Mike, and Shaun while they dive into nostalgia and attempt to answer the age-old question. We're still cool, right?

like a blind man in Norgie. I'm going to have to feel my way through it. Didn't Ben have that? One of his quotes in one of his emails? Oh, fuck. Was it? I don't know. I was just thinking about that right now. It's been in my head all day. I think it's from Airplane. Yeah, it is. Maybe that's why it was in my head because we've said it before. Motherfucker. Well, I will say, if you're following up this week, then you know that shit's gotten a little weird lately. Yeah. So maybe I'm not all there mentally. I'm also never all there mentally. But we're back. With all that ruckus, we're back. We're back, baby.

And excited for another good one. I'm Shaun. I'm Mike. And I'm Erik. And this is the We're Still Cool Right podcast. Or as my daughter says, the We're Still Cool podcast. Yeah. They're like, why are you asking right? She left it out. Yeah, we should probably talk about the little elephant in the room. Right. The three little mice that were in the room. Boy, talk about bringing a little pride to a parent's heart, huh? I know. My heart was so full. So the last time you recorded, you hadn't yet watched it, but it had been done. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, yep. So we knew it was done because we followed up with them.

But yeah, this is the first time we heard it and now we can talk about it. And this was something we came up with last year at the Ozarks at your place. We were in the pool and we were talking about like having wives or girlfriends on or whatever And then we were like, what if we had the kids on? We can't have our wives and our girlfriends on You know what? It's a solid point Especially when some of them I got him early! I got him early! And we're done! Shortest episode yet! Three minutes in the month! He didn't even walk into a fart on that when he just collapsed Yeah, like We're still- Oh! Right!

Oh, yes. Yeah. Damn it. Some have wives, some have girlfriends is what I meant. So fast. So dry. He's a little lubed up right now. We primed the pump, so. Yeah, but like, so we came up with that and we looked forward and I was like, guys, fucking April Fool's Day is a Wednesday. And that was last year, we were like, we had to make this happen, so shout out to our kids who are fucking awesome for coming on and doing that for us. obviously they think we're stupid dorks and cringy and what did they say what are we we're performative we're performative which i think sounds like a compliment but then when it's followed up with like they just do it for clout i had to look up a clout man right and i'm like hey no that's not why we do it we do it because we love it right i mean what was funny is on the computer like during that next episode that we were recording it was right here when audrey googled and it was performative and you know i was reading my definition i was like okay yeah i guess yeah you got us all right fine i don't think we're doing it for clout but no no we you know we can be performative at times here's what i know i know no matter what our kids say i know they think we're cool i see i see when we go out and we know everybody and we're talking and having a great time we have a great group of friends we've been friends forever i know i'll never make them say it right but they know they so yeah they know they all know. That was awesome.

My heart was very full listening to that today. I promise we are in Iowa, even though none of our kids know what a pastor is. Dude, my kid physically hurt me. I was like, when he's like, no, I get it, but what is that? I'm like, please tell me you're not talking about what a pastor is. And then when Logan had to explain it to him, I'm like, you're a senior. The dad joke, because I helped Audrey pick out the dad joke, so she had one ready to go. and i of course you know chuckled at it because i thought it was a good good dad joke yeah yeah i chuckled at it but then watching them and like the lack of reaction the not understanding passion i was crying laughing oh my god because of how dead it fell on the room it was so silent in here the only way if you could do something better is like you should have hit the cricket sound like when it hits it's like hello hello is this on i was gonna say i don't know my favorite part was looking good well i'll look it up and we'll all learn something together way to way to fix the failed joke but now you understand a bit more why i was so kind of lit up when you guys came in and recorded afterwards oh yeah because i i've spent a lot of time with uh you know teenagers and young adults and especially like educational spaces and school and it's so rare to hear young people like that be authentic and be sincere and openly discuss and hear each other and like that's it was really cool

and kind of a special thing so it was because they started off trying to be like i mean that's what we kind of talked about that they're gonna like rep you know be yeah they're making fun of us making fun of us and you know starting off with each thing with the can crack and then the welcome you know that part of it and but then you could see when they totally started like we said like the mics you don't care you're just having a conversation and they really were just totally themselves you know it was i thought it was really well done and so and if you guys are listening we're proud of you we know logan doesn't listen but yeah yeah yeah he made that a point he's like i'm gonna be honest i'll listen to it but i appreciate his honesty we know they had fun with it and we hope that you know you guys are fans exactly it so yeah my wife made a good point she goes you know they can really put you in check of what's cool or not maybe you should check in with them you know every now and then so we're like phone a friend a little bit see if it's really is cool for what you think um yeah two two last thoughts one they left saying they wanted to do it again yeah oh i know independent of me kind of pushing the idea yeah they were like this was cool we should do this we should like heck yeah you should podcasting's great yeah um and then number two um the the being cool thing i love that she started with like do you guys do car circles right car so bro i brought them like i have no idea what that is what she explained like oh that makes sense everyone's met in a parking lot people do yeah car circles i don't know if people are calling it that exactly yeah yeah but my favorite part still like i think it was toward the end when

And they're like, we should do this again and talk about what's still cool. Or I think I was talking about listening to us. And Erik's daughter, Audrey, was like, yeah, we can talk about if Morningwood's still cool like my dad does. And I was like, oh, so you did listen to that one. Not that episode. She gets all the clips. She doesn't get all the episodes. That's what they get, yeah. She gets all the clips. Yeah, Laila will be watching YouTube, and I'll hear us in the living room. I'm like, oh, God. She's like, don't worry. I'm skipping it. I'm like, okay, that's fine, too. Whatever. With that being said, we don't care how you listen to us.

We just appreciate you listening to us, whether it's on the clips, on YouTube. Absolutely. Thank you to everyone for listening to our kids. Like Shaun said, it was a proud moment. Proud moment for us. I'm going to hijack the podcast one last time because I have a great segue off of that. You are not going to do it one last time. This is the last time I'm going to talk the entire episode, I promise. Don't do that. We have been working on going over analytics. You guys just hit a year worth of episodes. Yeah. So congrats. I won't send that moment from you. Please talk about it. But we were going over analytics.

Your analytics are great. and they're great in different ways across different platforms so you know sincerely like those numbers matter it's helping the show grow we're working together to figure out what the future looks like for the show and how we level it up and um you know when you even if you watch the clips even if you're engaging in you know whatever way works for you it does matter it does make an impact it really does and it's working we're seeing that people are into it in different ways. Way more female listeners than we expected. Ooh, it's a lady. Ooh, it's a lady. I said to Erik, I said, the only reason we have female listeners is because they want to hear how stupid guys are.

They're like, nope, they're still dumb. They're fucking big idiots, aren't they? But you know what? We'll take it. We'll take it. I don't know. With that being said, maybe we should jump to the drink because it's probably warranted for a nice little toast here. i think so yeah i don't want this orange juice getting warm either no no no no oj was cold yeah so this is a lunch box drop shot so back in the day we this is sponsored by Benz Beverage Depot i stopped in today talked to matt uh got some de serrano and uh came up with a couple other fun ones i'm excited about in the future so that is the spot yeah props props also to sophie for knowing that but uh yeah he hooked me up with some de serrano so this is uh basically a shot two ounces of d sorono uh some beer and some oj and then you drop the shot into it and chug the whole thing we used to drink these way back in the plate back in the day at a place called double in and they made them in like big mugs and i think they did like a spritz of mountain doing them too but they are goddamn delicious and i haven't had one in years so i'm excited about this so garnish of mountain dew ah i forgot the garnish yeah uh the lunch box i'll do you know what we'll look Just to make Logan be a liar, we're going to let Logan talk for a minute while we chug these, so we'll go ahead and drop these in.

Yeah, we haven't done a drop shot in a while, but it does take a little bit of... Yeah. And we don't have the glugging on the microphone that we usually do. You want to bet? I'll get my throat right up on that thing. Oh, my God. Oh, God. You want to hear the throat? Go to town. Let's do this. Speaking of sleep noises and ASMR. Cheers. Oh, cheers. Oh, no, it's floating. They're dropping them in. Oh, no. They used plastic shot glasses. It was a disaster. You just got to get it folded up. Just finger it. That'll work. They're taking their drinks and everyone looks happy. Oh, they're chugging it. They're chugging it. I forgot that's how shots work.

They're chugging it. Come on, Logan. Oh, man. Oh, this looks good. Delicious. It's so good. They're so good. Join us at home. We realized we didn't have shot glasses here and I asked Erik earlier and he goes, no, we have the ones from Shot Roulette. And I thought, done. Didn't even think about the fact. Forgot that they're plastic. Forgot that they're plastic. So we were like, this might not work out the way it's supposed to. It worked. I think it's hilarious. So this week, Mike came up with a drink. And what's hilarious, we were talking about it the other week, kind of going back and forth. And he goes, why the fuck do we have to have all these complicated drinks?

Can't we just do a drop shot or something? Guys, I'm from the streets. So then today when Mike's like, I'll get it, I'm like, I bet we're doing a drop shot. Yep. I like I like easy minimal ingredients and but delicious and it's like I I don't care dude. You can give me a Depth charge any day, and I'm like I'm happy to pound it well You know I think it speaks for the group because I think it's nice when we have the complicated ones It's nice when we do the easy ones will go go back and forth so anybody That's thinks we get a little too complicated We cover all areas of the spectrum and that was fucking good see these are always good. Yeah, it was really good next week Mike's going to make us Negroni so what is that?

Amaretto it's kind of the biggest name I didn't know it it was kind of a big deal if you know Amaretto it's the name I'm quite the Amaruto Amaruto nevermind I'm quite the Yeah, it went in there. Yeah. It was so no kind of sore. But Matt was like, we'll eat you the DeSarono. I'm like, oh, we all fancy. Yeah. It's so good, though. You smell that stuff, and you're like, oh, I forgot how good it is. A lot of people drink that and Dr. Pepper together. Like, isn't it that and a beer, and it tastes like Dr. Pepper? Maybe that's what it was. I think that's what it is. It's like that and a Coors Light, and it tastes like a...

I'm sure we'll do it eventually on this show, so. This and a Dr. Pepper tastes like Dr. Pepper. Hey. You know what makes it really taste like a Dr. Pepper? I put a little Dr. Pepper on it. Hey! You leave the decent run out, and it's even rough. If you don't listen to us for our wisdom, you should be. So that's all I'm gonna say. But yeah, I mean, you talked about the analytics thing. I mean, props to us. I mean, like, and you've come in to upload, and Logan and all this stuff, like, we're working on some stuff, and, oh, you didn't want to do it? That type of thing? There it is. Like, what are we- Finger guns, what are we? Is this poverty podcast? What are we doing?

I said I wasn't gonna talk. And I said, fuck you, yes you are. So, you're in this, whether you like it or not. but well cheers to you guys man it's been so much fun and and we're not stopping because we have so much fun with it so yeah and you know if you just poured yourself whiskey we could cheers to you all right you're going with that one it's you know we're one year in and we've just kept going so like we said we've grown exponentially in a year i think and cheers come a long ways to be in well i'm not sure that we still have a clue what we're doing but i know we know a little bit more what we're doing than we did the very first time so cheers to you bud i'll cheers to that cheers boys yeah and uh big things coming up as far as uh i mean we can i think we can talk about beer fest right yeah yeah so that's coming up uh the weekend of mother's day what's that sunday may 20th is that what it is um but yeah if if you're local here you know that Benz Beverage Depot has a big uh beer festival every year called ben's beer fest and your boys will be there we have our own tent and uh we will be there actually live podcasting and recording some stuff drinking some stuff saying hi to everybody we'll have some stuff to give out so if you go please please please stop by and see us so yeah and if you've never been come join us i mean coming in it's a great time down there again you know how we feel about ben's and if you've been down there there every event that they put on it's a good time um good people and if you haven't done it or if you always wanted to do it sounds like a great chance come down when i think they just started selling tickets at ben you can stop down there you get a better deal if you go into the store I think and then you can also get them online They have VIP hour for the first hour

so you get in first before other people. Those are limited. And some of the breweries will show up, and they'll bring some special bottles that maybe they'll only open for the first hour. So that's a huge reason to get VIP on top of getting ahead of the huge crowd that's over there. And I don't know what Matt has in store this year for VIP as far as glass, but sometimes you get a special glass there we go you know different things like that yep so yeah so one uh you get in at one if you're vip uh otherwise you're in at two and it goes till five uh but yeah yep right there save five bucks if you stop in there and get your tickets there so um just some of the breweries that are up there are field day which we're drinking that that's what the beer we had was their combine um big grove mill stream reunion lion bridge exile single speed back pocket tg and there's at least 15 to 20 more i mean there's tons more and even even the ones that don't necessarily have a tent of their own and are pouring matt will have samples of lots of stuff that they have at bends yeah because there's always seltzers and even yeah just new new stuff coming out so all kinds of good stuff they'll have food vendors and stuff uh we're going to be like right now the plan is we're going to be uh shacked up with clint from tg so we'll be at the tent next to toppling goliath yeah not a bad spot to be yeah so stop on over there for all your fun and adventures yeah you know watch us be silly on a podcast watch us be silly you might i mean maybe you'll sit down and talk for a few minutes uh get some get some pictures like we're super excited if you want to know if something's still cool we're willing to debate it right there for you so i think we're gonna have a lot of fun with it as we get closer um and again it's all

because you guys that listen that we get to do this kind of stuff. So one year in and cool shit down the road here for us. Thank you, friends. Thank you. Yeah. With that being said, what's still cool, Mike? All right. What do you have on your mind? So I'm going to start one because we, and buddy, this wasn't on purpose. We had this weird thing where we kind of were behind on emails and we never got to some of them. And I had to come back to this one because I was really excited to talk about it. So I'm just going to read it because this has actually been one of mine. This is from Adam. and this was like a month ago, but he said, what up, fuckers? I have a Is It Still Cool?

and a Really What Grinds My Gears for You. So our flip phone's still cool. Hear me out. I'm not as old as Shaun, but I... Fuck off! But I do miss being able to flip the phone closed to hang up on telemarketers. A crazy ex or anyone else that deserves to be hung up on. Crazy ex. Pushing and on an iPhone just isn't as satisfying. And he's right, because I've been pissed off before, and when you're like, you're just like I think it's not they're still about snapping a phone close fuck that the flip phone was the first fidget spinner too for me I'd sit there and just flip it back and forth mine's my wallet now cards go up, cards go down cards go up, cards go up but I thought about that and I was talking to Erik about this earlier I loved flip phones obviously you can't taxable on a flip phone I mean I was good at the whole ABC I know but it sucked I know you were good at you guys would do it then not me yeah I get a text I'll be like fuck off there's a reason I have the nickname magic fingers so but I found this thing that I because I looked this up and I told this to Erik it's like okay so like look back when we were young and we got our first phone there was like bag phones there the zach morris phone right huge and then like we still had the brick phones and they just got smaller so remember the star tack the mini like flip phone that was like really popular for like i had the v3000 which was the like super expensive tiny start yeah like i remember seeing them

looking big at the mall people would be talking and they were dinky i'm like what are we doing i could barely i could barely hold it yes so but we just kept getting smaller and smaller then the year that you could watch porn on your phone boy they started getting bigger every year after that and I'm like god damn like hello yeah the old iPad what what's going on yeah and that's always like they just are still getting big and I'm like people are taking selfies and it looks like they have a cookie sheet in their hands are like good god man like don't even fit your pocket yeah porn does just fine on this there was a bigger option I was like no I can I can still see them you've heard that thing before though that I'm talking again sorry you've heard that thing uh before where like porn is one of the main drivers in innovation yes because everybody has it and yeah it's always moving so fast and like so it's always driving especially tech in the last like 30 years drives tech innovation yeah so like it used to be a joke like a meme whatever but it's like it it's a real thing like you can look it up and it's like once porn hit on phones and you could actually look it up it's like oh you could go a little bigger and you're like dude we're at nine inches that's crazy you're like we can do 11 and now it's like 13.7 how about 14 you're like bro get a desktop and leave it alone you know what i mean like jesus christ but i i think you said something earlier for me at least there is a maximum like there is like i can't reach the top of my phone without moving my hand that's too big yeah and i'm i'm kind of at that point but i went to like the iphone max because of better battery life at

the time. And that does matter. I wanted battery life more than the bigger screen size. Nothing worse than the phone dying halfway through porn. Yeah. Oh, God. When you're on that 12-hour bender of watching porn. There's a thousand pages on Pornhub and I'm just like, $9.99. God damn it. I almost finished it. My daughter's FaceTiming. Way more than a thousand.

Once you get a thousand, it just gives you a whole nother thousand to go to. I mean somebody told me that. I don't know that. I don't know that. Dude, my daughter is blowing me up on FaceTime and I don't know why.

Okay. It's always during the porn talk. I know. Why? Why did you have to say that? God. No, but so, but... Damn it, now I'm so thrown off. Do you need to answer it? I'm worried about it now. No, it's fine. I just looked at her text. It's, Dad, what bracelet colors do you want? Because she makes me these bracelets and I want more. but i thought when when they start facetiming you oh like my kids are notorious like you didn't answer again again again you're like that drives me fucking crazy i tell people you call two or three times because it's an emergency right because always that's a good time to talk about this the back-to-back call not cool but that's not it's an emergency in my mind that's an emergency life or death i'll answer it and then if it's like blah blah i'm like you fuck are you fucking kidding me right now like i just left something that i was doing to answer what do we have for dinner today back-to-back call from a kid to me is they got in a car accident they're right they're in trouble and something like something back-to-back call from anybody yeah yeah but i but i've explained this story i was like have you heard of the boy who cried wolf right like dude there it is now it's my son so as i was saying fucking flip phones i love them i i miss hanging up on people like that but i do love the fact that we get to watch porn on our phones yeah not that i do that it is really funny that like we were talking about phones and stuff and we get interrupted because of i know right because of fucking cell phones yeah yeah it is but he talked about how like there is a max i said that i was like this i just got this phone recently and there's a bigger

one the i i have the pro i think there's a pro max and i'm like dude i can barely reach the top of this and i have average size hands and it's like dude i can't imagine they're hard they have enthusiasm they're not the size it's how much you use it and i use mine a lot so yeah oh man but flip those are back yeah so they're like their clamshell even touchscreen clamshell type of thing yep my brother-in-law has a sweet one that folds out and it's a touchscreen with the thing and he but he uses it for work like project management he's out there like you know laying out blueprints oh the foldable yeah it's basically like two iphones it goes you know he opens it up like that and it's you know but there's even the samsung's that well his is the samsung i'm sorry whatever but they do this but they also do this yeah watch the video yeah the video here yeah but i'm saying like there's the clamshell versus the have you ever had someone do this to you Or this to you.

Here's the church. And here's the sequel. Open the door, see all the people. Oh my god, it's a penis. Oh my god. Hey, I'm glad that all of our age demographic gets that. This show's never going to be sponsored. Here's the church. Hey guys, do you want to play mash? Open the door, see all the people. Yeah, there's a difference between a flip, which is like clamshell, and then a fold, which is like book. This is why Logan needs a camera on him. He's always making, like, animal faces and, like, all the flip and fold. They don't get to see him walk into a fart ever. Like, we've gotten to see this so many times.

They've never seen that. The flip and fold. You know, with enough Patreon subscribers, we'll be able to afford a camera for Logan. By the way, we're going to record it on a flip phone. It's going to be shot like a potato and, like, no pixels. It's three grand for a new camera. So just give me that. Oh, fuck. dude we're way off from our side by side again if anybody wants to join the Patreon you understand what it costs we don't want the money for fun we need this money we're stealing from Logan right now so we need some help that's true they are fuck you money for the poor so still cool or not absolutely still cool I know it's nostalgic maybe it's my nostalgia rating but I love flip phones. I honestly sometimes miss the simplicity of a flip phone. I think sometimes for me, this is just too convenient to get to everything to distract me. That's what I mean.

More and more and more, I've listened to all the stuff, like how it takes up your time and everything else and they can be addictive and it's like, yeah. And then lately, Ashley and I have been having talks like, this fucking thing. Yeah. We're playing games, you know, we're in the same room watching a movie and we're playing a game and it's, you know what I mean? It's like, what the fuck you know i mean and we were never like that no yeah i mean and now all of a sudden we're doing those things that she said a few times i'm going back to a flip phone you know i mean and outside also i just thought it's how excited would you be when you get home after work you haven't been online all day and you're like well i'm gonna sit down on my dell and like well or just give me an ipad at that point you know i mean that i can have fun with that and like yeah just go back to that i think we have like 14 fucking ipads laying around our house from like different things that have been...

So you know what you could do instead of having a flip phone? He's going to have some fucking willpower and put your phone down. Fuck you, Alan. Also, don't you dare. Erik's got his fingers on all of Mona Lisa's skirts. Don't let him fool you. What are you talking about? When I'm watching a show or something, fucking phone's down. I'll check it. Just like I checked the watch, but I'm not fucking on it. It's hard. It depends on the show. look over at aaron and she'll be playing games i'm like oh so you're not interested in this huh let me turn it off see i i'm interested in both my game and this i know yeah i'm just saying that i have felt myself fall victim to this that actually i'm really like you know me in technology i'm really not that into it but yeah i mean but yet i fall into you're so good at it right i know It comes natural, but it just...

Fair. I just have been thinking the same thing. We'll joke around and get a flip phone, but it's like, it is. And with a flip phone, if I can have voice to text anyways, I'll be good to go.

I'm going to say not cool because... Wait, we didn't hear you. You should say it louder. Both of you. Oh, him and Erik are old as fuck. I'm going to say not cool because I think when I see somebody with a flip phone, like the old school flip phone, not the new touchscreen shit, I think you're an old person that doesn't know how to use technology. And I'm not directing that at you. I'm saying I thought that before. That's just convenient that you're next to me. I just happen to be next to a six-year-old. I had no idea. I truly believe that. And I will say that. i'm not a um person that is going to judge you for that you should do that if that's what makes things happy for you but i i immediately see that and i start judging because i'm just like fucking like i've i've had an iphone since the first iphone and i love them and i've like been that way and i've gone back between apple and android and everything you're an it guy yeah you You have to play.

Shaun, are you going to be a midlife crisis on air? I'm serious. I think he's motivating me to get one. Just so I can sit next to him and fucking talk on it. Just so he can be like, I'm not judging. Like, I'm not mad. I'm just going to sit here and shake my head. You're so fucking holy. Or then when I get a text in the bar and I'm responding, yeah, I'll be home soon. He's like, God damn it. I'm going to throw your phone. That is the worst. If this actually happened You would never have you wouldn't have to even rely on the excuse like why just I couldn't figure it out We're like, you know what? We'll just never ask you to do anything ever Shaun you just keep playing snake on your phone and we'll be over here Murdering our socials Buddy So anyway cell phones were split right now all right, but still fine. We'll move on the other part of Adam's email I had to touch on this was this is a grinds my gears because Adam and I talked about this we worked together for a long time and this drove us fucking crazy this also piggybacks off the bathroom talk right you know what really grinds my gears middle peers and by the way ladies this is a men's thing which by the way the bathroom talk was in the Patreon episode oh my bad I'm sorry if you were listening to this right now and you want to know what he's talking about trust me You really want to hear that You want to hear about how you don want to hear what we talked about Yeah So anyway he said it guys that pee in the middle urinal when there an odd number

All up, Mike, continue this rant. Okay. So we would, at like our old job, there was three urinals. You'd go in there. You're the only guy. Of course, what do you do? You never go to the middle. You go to a side, left or right. Sure. You go to the right. One guy. I'm guessing you go to the little one. Literally. You know what? Thank you for that. Thank you for the segue. The one on the right was always the shortest one. And if I ever walked in, the guy was at the one I go, bro, that's mine. And so many guys were like, what? And I was like, hey. At least you know that that's where you go. 100%. The only time you get me away from the outsides is because one of them is the short one.

So I'm going to the one next to it. But you know what? If I was seven feet tall and there's a guy peeing on the left, you don't go to the middle. No, fuck you. You wouldn't go to the middle. You never go to the middle unless you absolutely have to go to the middle. You're saying that's the only way you go to the little one. That's the way I don't go to the outside. You always go outside first, then in, and never the middle unless absolutely critical. Unless you're at a fucking concert and there's a line of 50 people, you don't go to the middle one. You don't go to the middle. Concerts and sports are different.

That's different. So you're saying, though, you walk in the bathroom, there's three in a row. The farthest right one is a short one. and there's somebody already on the far left. You're going to go to the short one instead of going to the middle one? This is where I'm conflicted. I'm conflicted because... That's the question. There's three, and it looks like this. Guys, two big ones. I know we're short. We don't have left for C. This one's already taken. Which one are you going to? The little guy or this? Let me answer. I go to the short one. I don't want to go to the short one. That's fine. That's fine.

You don't go to the short one. But I am conflicted because I'm tall and I feel like I'm going to fucking piss on the top of the urinal. I'm sorry that God gifted you with so many virtues, okay? Like, oh, I'm tall. I'm so sad. You're saying. Well, what I'm saying is I'm proud of you because you don't have to like it. But there is a code. Did you guys ever have the fucking game? Yeah. When I had my iPhone 1, like we were just talking about, when I had my iPhone 1, there was a game that you could download. And it was deciding which urinal to go to. Shut up. It was so fucking awesome. Okay. What? I was like, I win this game every single time.

Literally. So I just ran into this the other day. Okay. So three urinals, right? The same type of thing. But on the left. Paint us a picture. So you got. There will be a test. So going left to right. Okay. You got the big one, the big one, and the little one down here on the right. No, I say down here, but anyway. Well, all right. But on the left side is the regular toilet, right? that's next to the stand-up one, and there's some guy just ripping a wet deuce on there. Do you go to that left one, or do you go to the little kid one, or do you go to the middle? Because they're all three open. You take one for the team, and you don't go to the middle.

But do you go little kid one, or do you go a big one? There's a wall separating you. Yeah, but you know when you're sitting next to the guy that it's just ripping. You are like... I mean, what's an extra foot going to do?

I'm still going to hear it. I'm still going to smell it. I'm not going to enjoy it. I'm going to do it and get out. You're just going to trust that little fucking thin wall put up by the lowest bidder. We trust boxers. Yeah. We wear those. That is the thinnest wall. The thinnest wall. Boxers are the thinnest wall. We're getting deep, guys. We're actually going to spin this into religion in a minute, so hold on. Can we get a line of boxers and they just say the thinnest wall? Oh, did we just create a brand of boxers called the thinnest wall? Let's look this up.

Sponsored by Dong Tongs. Is that band name? Thinous Wall? That's a deep band name. I like that, actually. No, it's because I'm religious and I'm deep. Okay. You never go to the middle. You never go to the middle. What sucks is when you go in and you end up in the middle and then the two dudes leave and you look like an asshole for the next guy that comes in. I've been there like, oh, God, do I cut it off? But you can't. I can't stop once I start. It burns. Yeah. So that's the thing. Never you don't go to the fucking middle just don't do it and the amount of people who do it I I've been so tempted at this why am I start we used to be like what he Did your dad not teach you anything my dad taught me nothing I figured it on my own and I learned pretty early so Here's the deal too. Sorry. Go ahead. No, you do bring everything cuz it's like then when you are the middle and everyone leaves Like the next person comes in you want to be like there were two people here and that's like you want to like say it like hold on hold on the two guys walk out and you just go no no no like yeah you go to the middle and then everybody leaves yeah yeah it's like you're fucked and you i swear to god i took pictures look you're like don't also don't do that don't put your phone out yeah especially your camera if there is a world where you have to use a urinal next to somebody else which it happens it happens there's no reason to ever talk to each other no ever ever literally never Shaun hold on sometimes I do look over and go like oh that's a thirsty boy I will turn this podcast around

Shaun talks to him what you packing over there big boy oh boy what's up dude are you one of those people well how much does he drink I roll in hot I'm always like what's up do you wait till you're mid stream and then say what's up dude Once I've started, it's more of a as I'm... But I'll start unbutting it as I'm walking up too, so it's like the whole thing. You know what I mean? I'm like, hey, what's up, man? Shaun's been like, someone drank a lot of water today. He is. If I'm peeing next to you, and you turn and talk to me, I will not be able to pee. I will be... Oh my god. The next time I see you, I will bow face and just salute you.

If you ever see Logan out in the wild, and he's at a urinal, please talk to him the counter starts in my head of like I have to start peeing right now our goal is to make Logan not piss for like 8 straight hours so if we just keep bumping into him all day like it's gonna be a bad day when you talk about that it makes me think of oh my god Ben or Alec Baldwin whatever movie he's in where he's like in the piss is that the one with Dane Cook yeah and he like smacks him on the ass after he's done like my best friend's girl yeah oh god i fucked her within an inch of her life that might be the best that whole five minute monologue he has is the greatest of all time yeah the 911 call in my head oh anyways all right it's also a little different if we're like friends and then you turn and talk to me sure yeah no it's way better if it's a stranger if we're strangers don't look at me Yeah, yeah.

Pretend I'm not there. Because at this point, because we are friends, I know you just like turn and piss on me. I'm just going to turn and be like, Jesus, Dongzilla, don't talk to my girl. Yeah. The next time that we're all doing it, I'm just going to like put an arm around. Yes. That's so gross. I hate that so much. I actually found a guy that, that sounded weird.

In the bathroom. I was searching on urinalbuddies.com and found this guy. No, I was. Get that. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. Urinalbuddies.com. Also, follow our link tree. But no, he was on TikTok, and the guy popped up, and his whole feed. We got it. God, we are owning the URL game. And he popped up my feed, and his whole thing is funny things to say next to people while they're peeing in a urinal. And now, not knowing we were going to have this conversation, I wish I were to run them all down, but I will find him and report back. I like that. It's literally like, oh, someone's a thirsty boy.

whatever but i don't care it never fails when we are at a baseball game we're all peeing in a trough trough yeah the guy that's got the biggest fucking dick always is next to me well why would you how do you know i think that's a matter of perspective well i was just gonna say that's because they're all you know what i mean i feel you by the way it is some old guy that just like unropes that thing and you know you just stay it's it hits the you just know the person when you walk in i'm like i'm that guy you know it's gonna be like you know and he just damn thing it's regret flavored so i i'm not i'm not doing it i'm not doing it what i'm about to say is a patreon thing i'm not i'm not locking it up it's weird to have already recorded the patreon right yeah I'm locking it up.

It's hard. It's real. Especially as the whiskey keeps flowing. Why are we saying it's hard while we're talking about urinal anyway? All right. So later, I will make an edit of just all of the horrible things that Mike has said out of context. I'm not done. We're just getting started. We're done with Adam's email. But yeah, don't be a middle peer. There's never an excuse. If you're the guy and you walk in and they leave you, it just sucks and you own that shit, brother. But you know when you walk out, you did your part. But feel free to walk in on a guy that's in the middle when you walk in and be like were there two other people in here before?

Oh my god. Then you could talk to them. It would be Logan sitting there going. Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. I just started. Now I can't go. You know how you put like shitty bumper stickers on people that park bad? Yeah. We should get like cards made where it's like don't be that guy. And you just hand it to him and walk back out. That's good. God. Yeah. If they leave and you're at the middle urinal, will you stop and slide to the side? Switch urinals? It burns too much. No, no, no, no, no. Depends on how much you can. Wait, why did you stop? You just shift. That was a joke. That means you're pissing all over the place.

Jesus Christ, you guys looked at me like, wait, you do that? No. You sick fuck. I was processing. I was waiting to see what happened. I don't. I just keep going, but I do a roll. As opposed to a slide down, I roll. Yeah. Hold on. Shaun lays down and gator rolls over to the next one. And then pops back up. You know the one place I don't want to roll on the floor in. That's what I mean. I'm like, you're covered in piss. No, I just do a roll this way. Like, I don't lay on the ground. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you looped the piss over your head. Oh, that's smart. Yeah, no, I get that. You're very mending.

All right, we're done. One of you guys. And by the way, we're not sorry. Good luck. Got one or not? Do you see Logan? This is when he records with us. He looks like his head can't take. Like, there's so much stupidness, and he's like, what am I doing with my life? Is what I feel like when he does that. I've reached that point that Erik was stressed about, where like, I have to edit so much.

See? He's like, I want this to keep going, but I want to end this. The code word for cucks is Gloria. I also have to pee, and I don't want to leave. Because we might walk in.

Hold on. I'm not going to say it. Go pee. You should go pee. We'll let you go. It's so quiet. no we got oh sorry we'll keep talking anyway yeah you are you are the man that can handle that so yeah i'm gonna bring this up it's not a still cool i think mine is gonna be saved for later my still cool it's gonna be saved for later because it does not go well with uh which urinal do you be oh sorry we don't yeah because we always care about the vibe of this one this one's better for later all Okay, so there's been this interesting trend that I've noticed on my social medias of this guy going into restaurants.

So he goes into fast food restaurants, orders food, and then yells their slogan. Like he takes one bite and then yells their slogan at the top of his lungs. Hey, your way! I'm loving it! Now he's going to start screaming. So you guys need to see some of these. Hold on, can I just say one more? Do you have it? It's finger licking good! I have it on my TikTok real quick. But my favorite one is he goes to Taco Bell and just takes a bite of a crunch of the air or whatever. And he's like, live Moss. And some dude in the back, like one of the cooks is like, yeah, live Moss.

I started fucking dying. They're like high fiving. Can you message him and ask him if he'll be a guest on the podcast? He sounds like our kind of guy. i am not a like big go yelling restaurants person like i would wait what you're not yeah i know but like the the concept of this and the way that people interact is so fucking funny because like you'll see patrons just going like what the fuck and then they start laughing because they're like oh so today's day and age i would think no one would engage because like people don't talk like they used to like if you did that no but that's why you film it and then people like kind Yeah, I'd like kind of right but like can you imagine like the way we grew up in the 90s like with our parents and I Like like where if you ran into time my girl Or they'd fucking tackle the guy they'd actually haul away and one of those beat the shit out of him That's true like I would have a sanity I want to do that but stand up and hit the i i have not seen this at all it's so funny like the guy and of course i liked one and now i see hold on can we can we do a can we do a field trip podcast where we just go into places like let's go into by the way pizza huts there's no dine-in so it's gonna be even funnier we're waiting for our carryout and we're like no without pizza's the hut and then just leave he does that one and it's it's awesome the only one that i've seen a negative reaction on was uh Kentucky Fried Chicken.

The manager was like, get the fuck out. We take this shit seriously. Don't fuck with the Colonel, man. The Colonel doesn't fuck around. Alright, here we go.

Sorry, guys. Logan's been drinking. He also was a middle pier earlier He had to hear a guy shit through concrete earlier He not a bomb guy Is that OJ Guys, we're on dial-up. It's trying.

Cue the 90s internet sound. Is Shaun running this? There we go.

Taco Bell lit But his face was like oh my god Somebody didn't respond It's probably the first time it's ever happened So he made him shit himself He's like the guy actually Responded to it Is his whole channel that? That's hilarious I haven't gone back through all of his videos But like I know BK. That's all he's saying. BK. Have it your way. Have it your way. What else? Subway. Eat fresh. I think it's cool because he's still got more content to go because I've only seen like six of them. Six of them. All right. What I would love if he starts going into like non-food places, like anywhere that has a jiggle, like he walks into like O'Reilly.

He's like, oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly. And a guy in the back is like, autopilot. I dare you. Ow. I will do that. My kids will respond. I'll be like, oh, oh, oh. And they'll be like, oh, rally. Yeah. Auto parts. Get in the zone. Auto zone. Yeah. See, we're back to our jingle thing. God, jingles are still cool. Oh, here we go. You have the meat.

That guy's like, here's your number two. Everybody, everybody, come here. You guys know it. The slogan, three, two, one. We have the meat. do i love this guy already let's reach out to his marketing to give credit he's on tiktok under the name j motion j motion j motion j motion for me thank you for that good yeah because i i always forget to like give credit because i just love these things and i'm like oh yeah who is this and then i followed him now okay so to local companies listening they don't have jing like local places don't make jingles this is why you should i'm the local you don't have to jingle just a slogan well that's what i mean like i will go in and then scream that oh what's some local ones we could do we could start making that have a jingle or we make our own no just but you're saying we should make our own or they have one where like woodies where you real men go to get wood we could just go in and yell that dude they could sponsor our just the tip segment anyway we'll take that off yeah yeah just we're also looking for a sponsor just going into these local places and yelling their slogan i want to do it so bad if i stop at 30 the multiple people that listen to this if you have a business and you are interested in we are creating a few fun segments that we're going to have some companies lead it on leading on like

just the tip or some other stuff we can have some fun with it so if you are a creative person you want to do it with us and continue to build yeah in a more serious sense we would love to but also if you want three stupid fuckers to come in and yell your slogan we'll be happy to do that too for when Logan actually makes him a part of this when we're being super stupid he's like ah just produce it or whatever I like having a wall of deniability here we need to get that going we should If you walk in and you film yourself doing that, send it to us. We'll put that baby all over it. Oh my God. I'll record you doing it.

I will show up there just for you. Get your phone. Next time you pay him, just be like, eat fresh! And then grab it. Also, that poor high school person would be like, you imagine you get tased out of nowhere. Like, what the fuck? That's why I don't like it. I don't want to scare the fuck out of somebody. It's not a great idea, but it's a shame. Not mean to that. don't hurt anybody don't do that stuff the way i'm gonna do it and then have one of our stickers i'm just gonna slap it on the counter as i leave the way that guy's doing is smart though like he's not like screaming in their faces like that first one especially he's like at a table away from everyone the customers are just like oh it's another crazy person that's fine have you seen you could do it through the drive-through because then you could yeah did i ever tell you about the time your orders everything right hey fresh and then did you hear did i talk about the time i moon to drive through terrible idea such a bad idea still cool what no was it cool then six cars ahead of your line nope because my buddy tj was driving and he stopped the car he was supposed to keep driving yep that's exactly what happened have you seen the movie dirty work so they move they go oh movie line so the guy gets in the back there he's moving the movie line and then as they get there you're supposed to moon it and then just keep driving well he stops and then the guy was like he was supposed to keep going so we knew a guy working at burger king and he was like dude let's move in the drive-thru and i was like that's genius didn't think about the fact that we watched dirty work like a year earlier and so we pull up to the stoplight or the window

and they're like here's your and my ass is out the window full spread tj's idea of course it was tj's idea tj's really good at these like long game yeah yes he is yeah tj mooned my ring doorbell during covid because he dropped off beer to me and he's like you should check your ring and i was like i don't ever check that like what are you talking and i look and it's just him spread eagle like right there did you check your ring for his ring the brown ring yeah yeah cinnamon ring yeah but no so i pulled up to i pulled up to burking and i'm like why is this this is so funny my balls are hanging out this is so funny and the car stops like what are you doing and he just he's He's crying, laughing, crying.

And I'm like, go! And he's like, no! And he's just sitting there. And I was like, dude, drive the fucking car. He's like, no! And he's literally convulsing. And I eventually drop down and pull my pants up and just sit there and shame. And I can't even look at the window. And they're like, what the fuck? And I was like, and I didn't look up. I just remember going, you're supposed to keep going. Can I have my chalupa, please? No. The king gets it his way. fucking oh tj good for you dude have it your way yeah i knew there was something else but what's amazing is that you tell that story yeah kids are afraid to do it because it's gonna get filmed yeah so the only thing in there is these stupid yeah we go to flip phones and be all right see so because that's that's good wholesome fun. Watching some guy cinnamon ring with his sack hanging out.

I'm so proud that he just sat there. No, he's proud of him. I am fucking proud of him. I'm sorry. You're a dick to a lot of people. You're a dick because you didn't think of it. You would have done the same thing. Sure, but here's the thing. No, no, no. Don't pull it past it so quick. TJ is the pulse. TJ sees this shit. TJ can watch an idea once and he's locked in. He's like, that's happening within the next five years. And you would never even imagine anyone remembered what we just watched. TJ doesn't forget. He's playing chess. We're playing checkers. Absolutely. All day long. And it drives me.

I love him. If you would have thought about it, you would, like, you'd be, like, all day. And you'd sit there the same way. Yeah, it pissed me off the most. Please go. And you'd be like, I'm not going anywhere. No. But the fact that he was killed over crying, laughing, he could barely drive the car out. Like, he was in tears laughing so hard. I could barely keep, after hearing this story, I could barely keep it together. Yeah. Dude, it was, yeah. I mean, if that story was about someone else, it'd be one of my favorite stories of all time. But because it's about me, it's like, it's my third favorite story of all time.

I feel like we've become pretty good friends at this point. You and I. I think so, yeah. After he's talking about his cinnamon ring. I was going to say, if you tell me you were working the drive-thru that day. When I was six. Oh, no. I knew you looked familiar.

Scoutmaster Kevin, is that you? Oh, God. Shaun just walked into a fart. He got you too.

Why didn't he get me? I like Kit Kats. Sometimes you say things on this show and I just want to hit you on the nose of the newspaper. But I can't do that. You can. So instead, I've created a sound effect and every time you say something you shouldn't, I'm going to play this. I don't like this.

well i'm worrying a lot of people right now you're gonna hear that sound a lot way too much hey guys it's not too late to cut me out of here like you guys can find a third i tuned in and for 19 minutes it was just i didn't notice mike was on it Guys, I didn't have a dad growing up And this is what it Logan made me buy Pokemon cards And I don't know what happened I didn't make you do shit I thought I'd get another You developed your own addiction I don't even know what Pokemon is I'm a metal detector We had a meeting today And he walks in with multiple envelopes Full of Pokemon cards Opening his mail in front of us Guys, now you know Logan's a liar.

I need a bust sound effect. I was there. You have no idea what you've done. What? He's just getting started. Oh, I understand. No, it's your first time that he gets it. Hey, Shaun, it's okay to shut the fuck up. He doesn't get obsessed with multiple things. He gets super obsessed with one, and he is, the fact that he's already bringing in booklets and everything else, it is going to get, you're going to get, like, good thing you do need to put your phone on snooze at night because it'll be like, I got a good deal. It's happening a lot, actually. It has. Yeah. I hate you, by the way. I hate that you're right.

No, no, I know nothing about this. It is fucking already happening. Oh, look. There's more buffalo trace. This is perfect. Because apparently we're just talking about how much Mike sucks. So I can do more of this. Okay. Are we doing that? Are we doing that? Small violin. I got a joke for you. Probably a good way. If you're ready. I would love a good joke right now. It's very appropriate. i hope it's about middle peers what's the difference between the pizza guy and mike's dead wait what the hold on the pizza dad came back i don't know the pizza guy shows up when you call him play the sound i don't even know what to say right now because i'm so proud one two I'm just proud.

Hey, guys, if you've ever met a guy that owns their trauma like I do, everything we've talked about, there's so many people on your list going, fuck yes, he deserved all that because he did that shit to me. He did that shit to me.

Erik called this the most chaotic episode we've ever recorded. You didn't think it was until... I think that's probably true. We need to bring beer and not whiskey the whole time. Hold on. We didn't even talk about that. We didn't talk about the fact that why we don't have beer. Okay, so I always bring a cooler. There's always a six to eight beers. I normally always bring one. Right, but I always bring way more because I'm like, in case you guys forget them, whatever. Today we had this weird day where we had a meeting down here, then we had another meeting, and then we had a busy day. I brought my cooler with the drink, and I knew I needed these for the drink, so I grabbed a four-pack, That was it Shaun gets here and goes did you bring extra beers like you usually do I didn't bring any and I went oh fuck Not really and then air goes fuck give me extra beers So I'm like the one day I don't even bring myself beer we had no beer so like no We do have that way. I don't I don't mind sipping on whiskey. Oh, I love it. It's my favorite Yeah, especially talk about my dad Are you just gonna live with your finger?

Can I get a button? Yeah. Do you want your own button? Kind of. To buzz yourself? Yeah. So, guys, I was having a night there, and I'm just going to buzz myself and then move on to a new topic. That's a good idea. I like that, yeah. You also don't want to give me a soundboard, but yeah, we're out. Yeah. We got to be out. Time to go, boys. Oh. This was a fun one. This was a fun one, and this was not a second episode, even though it feels like it. Yeah. uh this was a lot of things going on but uh shout out to our kids for our last one that was clearly an april fools thing and we hope you all enjoyed it we've had that in the we've had that in the bag for like a year um great pride like we started we were parents first and we got to show that off as we hit one year and boys we we did it officially for our stuff on there yeah we're on the season two but you know yeah cheers to everyone like cheers we love you guys so much man thank you so much and thank you for letting us get to where we're at that we could be now here with you logan because of our trajectory.

Trajectory, yeah. It's like Shroo for Hermer. That's a lot after some whiskey. This tongue is fat. Yeah. Thank you to Benz. We love you guys. And again, look for us at Beer Fest coming up, and there's a lot of big things coming soon. Our bottle will drop in six to seven weeks. It'll be about a month, I guess. Yeah. So we'll keep you guys posted. I don't know, boys. I'm pretty fucking excited for what we got going on. I'm afraid to talk because I'm going to get buzzed. So you guys talk. That being said, cheers. We love you. We're out. Cheers. Later. Bye, guys.