Skip to content

Ep. 4Mar 30, 202555:17

St. Patrick's Day plans, Dive Bars and having kids in a digital age

Episode 4 We discuss St. Patrick's Day, dive bars and a brand new drink themed drink is invented. Join us for more adventures in parenting in a digital age and give us your thoughts on backward hats.

Spotify Apple Podcasts

Closing joke

Vote on every joke →

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

Not a dad jokeEp. 4 @ 00:52:50

Show notes

Episode 4 We discuss St. Patrick's Day, dive bars and a brand new drink themed drink is invented. Join us for more adventures in parenting in a digital age and give us your thoughts on backward hats.

Transcript

Tap a timestamp to listen from there

Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

We're back, baby. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome to the show. The big show. The big show. We're still cool, right? A couple big guys. Big, a couple big leprechauns. We're so cool. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I do want to ask the question as we are both kind of rocking it. Is it so cool to have a backwards hat on when you're in your 40s? No, no. Fuck no. Not at all. No, but I'm not ever going to stop. Dude, I've talked. But I've seen more people do it now. I feel like that's way more of a. I feel like it's making a comeback, and we never stopped. Kind of like cargo shorts. Everyone's like, they're coming back.

I'm like, where the fuck did those go away? Well, cargo shorts, come on. I'll never stop wearing those. There's certain things in life I'll give up. Cargo shorts are not one of them. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But no, I have seen more people. I feel like there's a cutoff. It's like 30, maybe, and people start, then the hat gets flipped around. I've never I haven't worn a forwards hat ever so well, it's just never been your thing and you've always worn hats I'm like yeah, even before I was bald Yeah, and people give me that old wives tale like you know, it's why your balls you wear a hat like oh Okay, my hair wasn't that cool. I Actually just likes a backwards hat so see and okay. That's the thing too whether it's rule or not only reason why We turn the ladies on like there's all those tick tocks where it's like she's checking out her man but then like he flips his hair out she's like i'm like yeah waterworks baby i but that i don't know i don't think it's all women but well there's probably plenty of them who look at me and they're like what a man child that is turn your head around girl up no i will not but i've i've talked about this i'm like when because i've never seen like a 60 year old wearing a backwards hat so like there has to be a cutoff well but i feel like our generation might have been some of the first to go rocking the backwards hat that's true maybe a little older than us but not like yeah oh that's a good point but like 50 i feel fine and i'm probably only saying that because that's my next stop but 60s does sound weird to wear a backwards hat i'm gonna do it man i'm just thinking about that right now see what i mean fucking nursing home walking around just tidy whitey's a backwards

Give me my goddamn pudding. Right. Yeah. So, I don't know. I like it. Yeah. But that's a good question. I don't know. That's something we should make. We should take a poll on that and see what people think. I would be curious. Like, Ashley's going to say that and Kara's going to say that for me, that they like it. They like it. But there's probably people out there who don't. Huh. Because I work forward a lot, too. Like, I'm not as committed to the backwards head as you are, but some fit different in different ways. That's true. You know what I mean? And so. Yeah. I mean, I just don't think – I think it's because I've spent my whole life not wearing it.

I feel like I look stupid when I wear it forwards. But I'm sure – You're all buttoned up and proper, and that's not your jam. Well, yeah, no. That's your thing. I hate dressing up only because I can't wear a hat, and I think I look like a penis with a bald head. It's because we always have to dress up when we're younger to go to All Saints, and we hate dressing up. Can you even fathom telling your kids right now, like, you have to go to school and you have to wear a uniform every day? I can't imagine. And I'm just trying to get Cooper to wear jeans. Dude, they don't wear jeans. They don't wear jeans at all.

I was like, what are you going to do? Logan's owned – I mean, he's 17 now. He owns a second pair of jeans now because he needs them for work. For work. But before that, he had one pair ever, and that was because he needed them for, like, something at school. Like, he had to dress up for in jeans. Yeah, like, he has, like, black pants he has to wear for, like – because he was in band and that stuff. So when he was doing that, he'd wear it. But now I'm like – What do you even call what they wear? I mean, it's like sweats, but they're just like track pants. Yeah, that's what they wear. And I like them.

Don't get me wrong. But, like, dude, they make stretchy jeans now. I know. They're so comfy. Right. I used to honestly hate wearing jeans until I found these. And I was like, what? What's your brand? What you got? These are just from Old Navy. Old Navy. They're nice. But, like, dude, look at the stretch in here. It's good. The buckle jeans are where it's at. Oh, I don't have buckle money. No. No. No. No. I wear poverty jeans, Shaun. Oh, yes. Buckle's still open. Yeah, this will tell you what class we're in when we're going, man, you got those buckle jeans. Buckle jeans? You know how the back of your tap makes the ladies wet?

That gets me a little hot and bothered. Buckle? What's your name, Daddy? How about, remember Lucky Jeans? Yeah, I did have some Lucky Jeans, but they weren't stretchy. No, they were terrible, but they said Lucky You on the zipper, and I remember that was the coolest. That's true. Or you could just get it tattooed there instead. Welcome aboard. Did you ever hear, so real quick, funny tattoos. Did you ever hear what, oh, what was his name he played for the Vikings? Jared Allen? Was that his name? Yeah. That linebacker? Yeah. Did you hear what he had tattooed? No. Right above his dick he had all you can eat, baby.

He's a massive man. Can you imagine if he had a little dick, though? And they're just like, yeah, I fucking think I can eat it. You know? All one bite of your shrimp. I don't know. that always cracked me up I don't know why I remember that right that's a certain energy you gotta have yeah back in a certain speaking of you don't have any tattoos don't and neither do I I don't we're like unicorns I know I've always wanted what I just can't commit to one that's my thing and eventually people like you're just a pussy you don't want to go and I'm like no everyone I know has a tattoo that they deeply regret right and I'm like I'm not stupid I know it's forever like I actually have an idea of some things I want like but I I know something for my daughter I want on my hand really bad, and I'm trying to think of something for my son for the other hand.

And then I would go do it. But I can't think of anything. But anyway, I might get one soon. The hand. I know. I feel like it's a bold move to get your first one on top of your hand. I'm not getting any younger. I know, but you waited this long, and then you went the move of the hand? Let's fucking go. It's like one step over the neck. You know I do things. When I get into something, I go fucking all the way in. So it's like, we're playing poker? Yeah, the World Series of Poker. Like, you know? So, I don't know. I'm not going to get head tattoos. I'm not going that deep. I mean, you're knocking on the door when you say hands.

It's true. Are we going fingers like it crosses? No. Yeah. I'm going to get the initials of the podcast on my knuckles. There you go. I like it. That'd be a move. No, I might get one soon, though. Someone I know, they're doing like a tattoo pop-up to raise money for a friend's dog shelter that she volunteers at. So you get to write it off as you being a good person. I didn't even think about that. i'm just i was just remember when like tattoos used to be like you're a badass like you're a bad dude like oh yeah it's not that anymore like you'd see it and you're like that guy definitely does drugs yeah works in a kitchen just like rides a motorcycle yeah definitely are those teardrops all right well that one's a little uh that's aggressive yeah but i mean just the simple it was that or you were like a navy man like you know yeah like i feel like that you had Semper Fi on your arm, which is like that.

Military like that, yeah. No, like they send a sheet. It's just these little tattoos, but like I've kind of always wanted one for my dog. And they have a little one that's a lab's face, and it looks just like Stark. So I was like, I can get that. But then I feel like a girl because I'll have one tattoo that's fucking a baby tattoo. And I'm like, where do I put it? Yeah. Can we also talk about how out of everybody you could get one for you, you got one for your dog as opposed to your two children? I love my dog. I know. He's way nicer to me than my kids are. He thinks I'm cool. He knows I'm cool.

And he, yeah, well, he'd do it for you. Dude, he'd tattoo fucking ass and snout for me if he could. Yeah. I like it. I mean, he can be an asshole too, but never to me. Like, he loves me. My kids love me, but, like, the whole name of the show, my kids make fun of me all the time that I'm not cool. I mean, like dropping my daughter off. If I get too close to the school at drop-off time, she doesn't really want to hug me. She just kind of leans in a little bit. But if I'm back, it's like big hug. That's fucked up. That's good stuff. No, it's not. It breaks my heart. It'll make you sad. It makes me sad.

Power through. It starts the morning off so great. Yeah, just like I feel so warm and loved. It'd be great. Can we talk a little bit about our weekend? We did have a weekend, didn't we? We did have a weekend. Well, we had a night. A night. It was enough. The full day. I felt like asshole the next day. It wasn't good. Yeah, the fun, not fancy restaurants. Yeah, local. Shout out to them for their bar crawl that they do. Yeah, so they call it the Infinity Challenge. They have now six, we went to six places, right? So if you go to all six of them in a day and spend at least $5, you get a little stamp on your ticket, and at the end of the day you turn it in and you get a hat and then it is cool and before that did you really I mean yeah already I wore it the whole time at the bar after I got it too well I guess we got to do it again oh no it's gonna be awful yeah so yeah they did it before and it was kind of cool because they had Thanos' gauntlet on the shirt.

Yeah, because we got the... Oh, yeah, yeah, we did it. Yeah, and that was kind of cool because it was like a little stone for each place. So it was super fun. I would totally do that again. They're actually, they have a new place that there's not any details about it yet, but you know where Lucida's is? Down kind of by the cop shop by Flying Weenie? Yeah. They have a sticker on there that they're opening something there and it's called The Bar. That's the name of it. Okay. But I don't know a theme. I don't know anything about it, but they posted the other day about it. I heard that place used to have really good food, too.

It did. Because wasn't it like something forever? And then it became Lucita's or whatever? I don't know. I don't know either. I only went to that place once. Julie told me about it, our friend Julie, because she said the food was great. And it was, but clearly not good enough to last. Yeah. So, do you have a drink for us? I do. Okay, so we are knocking on the... Did you put in the research here? No. okay that's not fair i researched but then i thought it is almost patty's day eve i mean we're it's today's thursday patty's day is in a few days um and i thought well i like guinness at least once a year like i don't ever mind guinness and so i got to thinking like what could i mix with that and i was thinking of these combinations i actually did some research and looked up combinations but that's all like known stuff like you can mix that with a cider and it's called like a whatever the fuck. Anyway, there's a black and tan.

Everyone knows what that is. Yeah. Dick insider. So I just got to thinking, I was thinking about Irish, and I was like, okay, Guinness, Jameson, you know, that kind of stuff. Smithwicks. And I was like, what if I can think of four things and I can call it a four-leaf clover? Oh. Right? I did this on my own. I know, right? See? On the spot. On the spot. Now, this was 20 minutes of pacing through Hy-Vee thinking and losing my mind because I'm like, I was just going to get Fireball and Cream Soda because I heard that tastes like a cinnamon roll. No, I want something Irish-themed. Let's see what we're doing.

So, I'm going to bump the mic. So we're going to go to Guinness. All right. Smith Wicks. Okay.

J-Mo. All right. And they didn't have Bailey's. Bailey's so but this is even better Buffalo Trace bourbon cream Okay, so we're gonna mix them all now. I I'm not thinking like equal parts like a fucking psycho, but I'm kind of thinking like half a Guinness like half the cup We're like about half of that and a couple little shot of Jameson and then the whole shot of bourbon cream Okay, it can't be bad, right? I Hope it's the best thing we've ever tasted because then I'm gonna patent it. I mean it's just Chances are it's going to suck. But, I mean, let's give it a whirl. All right. You know, I mean, the hell.

You get into those. See if I can do this without messing up the audio too much. Not to mention. They're cold, though. I made sure to get cold. It was honestly the last four-pack of Smithwix they had.

Schmittix? Schmittix. I like this stuff, too. I haven't had it in forever. All right. I know there's, like. You can hardport. Yeah, you can hard pour it. It won't. It's the beauty of Guinness. So, yeah, I was just thinking about it. I at first went, like, just Guinness and Bailey's. And then I saw the Smithwick's, and I was like, oh, the three of those might not be that bad. And then I'm like, well, fuck Jameson. I'm like, that's four things, though. And I literally was like, four-leaf clover. I like, I mean, what a great, even if this sucks, just the name of it is. So maybe we. It was on top here.

Yeah. We might need that second can of Guinness. Make one for our producer. Yeah. Behind the scenes. The boss. Why is yours like so? Well, I poured that right on top, so. Oh, that's right. Yeah, maybe we should have the shminix right on top, so. Oh. Yeah, buddy.

Hey, it's a good thing we have a sink right behind us. That's convenient. Yeah. Also, look at Erik's whiskey. It's like our producer knew we'd be spilling all over the place. Hey. He does. We're lucky we even get to come in the house. He doesn't put us on carpet. Yeah. It's very smart, actually. He thought this all the way through There you go It like the dog allowed down here but you guys aren Right I don know Do you have to come in the house Right I do like Guinness though I do, too. I will admit, you know, for being Irish and a.k.a. drinking it the proper way, I don't like it room temperature.

I've tried it. It's not my favorite. No, and then I've heard, like, I don't know. I've never been overseas or anything, but, like, isn't the correct way, too, is, like, you drink it and, like, you drink it warm, but then you drink it like a quarter at a time. Isn't that like they fill one up? I'd heard that like you're supposed to like – it's not sipping. Like you wait for a while and you drink like a quarter of it and you're not – you know what I mean? And really you should drink one of those Steins and like four drinks. I mean that makes – I know you're not supposed to sip it. I don't know if that's true.

Yeah, I mean I've heard the sipping thing. Which falls right into your thing of loving to just do chugs anyways. Well, thank God I like that because – Okay, that was my next question about this drink, though. Are we going to sip on it or are we going to just chug it? That's a lot, and they're cold, so I think it's going to have to be. I don't think it's going to taste as good sipping on it, but we could sip on it a little bit and then maybe chug. I'm probably not going to be able to just go all the way down, but I'm definitely not going to take my sweet time. Look at that. Okay, for the people who can't see the video, that was pretty cool.

Why don't you do that and then show. I might be on to something here. Look, even if it tastes like shit, that was cool. All right, like, here we go. Like, this is like... Oh, dude, it might be coagulating.

Okay, I am warning you. It might congeal. I don't know what's happening. Oh, no. Was this a terrible idea? I have a lot of those. I don't know. It's not warm. Well, pour it in and see. There are certain things that, like, cream. Yeah, it's, like, dripping funny. I mean, that looks badass. It does. Wait a minute. Because it starts. No, I'm just saying, yeah, but, oh, man. Good thing we got the sink back behind us here. No, it's going to be great. This is going to be the greatest thing we've ever had. I'm going to just a splash of JMO.

There we go. the four-leaf clover kids i mean again even if it sucks it's got a great name what is it well i'd like to change till we're chugging it i don't want to sip on curdled There's no way. It's not going to taste sour or whatever. It's not bad. It's not like it's just going to be. No, dude, because look at it when I shake it. It looks like I have, like, wheat floating in my beer.

It still looks cool, I'll just say. And it's got a cool name. I had to take a little picture before. It's the four-leaf clover. Wow. All right. If it's terrible, it wasn't my idea, and I found it online. and it's awesome i totally can we do a little can we do a little uh video of it also i think we can do that video on top of it i mean am i breaking rules yeah so we got yeah i mean i wanted to go with something irish because it is like we said patty's day is coming up and let's see here why not try something we haven't heard as good all right so well there we go live on the podcast how are you oh yeah this is the four-leaf clover you want to tell them what's in it I came up with it on the fly.

All right. Cheers. Cheers. It definitely curdled. I like it, though.

It kind of tastes like vanilla. It wasn't that bad. It's not bad. It tastes like vanilla, I don't know, root beer or... But yeah, look at the... Definitely leave some stuff on it. I don't think our producer liked it quite as much as we did. He is grimacing a tad. Would you have preferred to drink it through a strainer?

It's not bad. I honestly would drink that. But yes, the curdling can turn you off a tad of it. All right, I got that baby saved. We'll send it out for our viewing pleasure. I think I am going to give this a rinse, though, because I think I'm going to have a Smith Wicks. Since I never have it.

I feel like it might be on to something, though, with the Guinness and the bourbon cream. Like, just a little bit of that. Is it giving? Yeah, so we should have left the red ale out. Well, the good news is... Because the Jameson shouldn't have done anything, either. I don't know. Well, keep in mind, I have more. Well, I only have... How many of those did I get? I only have one bourbon cream left. But, hey, next podcast we'll try that. But, hey, happy Patty's Day to everybody. Right, right. So, St. Patrick's Day. We could talk about that for, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I was going to say, we could talk about that for about six hours.

I'll say, we have been, they moved it back to St. Patrick's Day, like the parade. For a little while they were doing it. They'd always put it on the weekend. I kind of liked it. Here's the thing. If you have kids, it's way easier to do that. Okay, but you know how I feel about this. I know. Oh, I know. Patty's Day is not for kids. No, it's not for kids. I agree. And I barely ever took my kids to that parade either because it's a shit show. Right. You know what I mean? It's just like a full-on mess. But I got to thinking to myself the other day, how long that St. Patrick's Day parade has been around, I have a feeling it was just simply created so that the parents could be in the bar and the kids would go watch the parade.

Because they never – I mean, back then they never watched their kids. It's not like we do now. So it was like, they'll be downtown. They'll be entertained by that thing for. I think you're right. I never thought of that. Yeah. But I bet that's exactly what it was. It's a great idea. But now it's not because like we kind of care about our kids a little more than the previous generation. So I know I wouldn't take my kids in there and be like, you could come to the bar when you're done. You know what I mean? Boy, it would have been a simpler time though. I mean, you could drink and drive, you know, you could smoke while pregnant.

in the car after you did it while smoking yeah smoke smoke in your house you know there's pictures of like numerous birthdays of mine like blowing out candles next to miller light cans and a cigarette by my head like there's a picture of my grandpa holding me with an ash yeah he's got a heater going in the ashes you know it had to fall right after the picture was taken it was so long i'm sure whatever just burnt me like you know and even if someone would have said something he would have been like it builds character you know what i mean like big deal but everybody smoked that it wasn't even like doctors used to smoke while you're in the you know let's check you out i bet that this is something that would blow my kids all of our kids mind is there was smoking lounges in the high school like i remember hearing at regis like when my aunts and uncles were there like there was a smoking area really wow yeah like i'm like that's crazy but it makes sense i mean if the smoking age was 18 and actually i think it might have been seven wasn't it younger than i I don't know, but...

I mean, drinking was 18, so did they even have anything unsmoken? That's true. Yeah, I don't know. But there was also, you know, cigarette machines in every place. Right, right. Which, like, I'm going to be honest, I kind of want one of those. Yeah. I don't know what I'd put in it. Maybe candy cigarettes or something. But I just, like, miss... I don't know. I think we might have talked about this once, but I love the Divey Divey bars. The old school, you know, like... Have you been to High Life Lounge in Des Moines? No. It's attached to the LBate shop. Yeah. I love that place. Shag carpet. Right.

You know? But you can't find, like those relics are all gone now. It'd probably be hard to find a smoke machine. Sure, it's worth plenty of money. Well, I was going to say, probably not a lot of people looking for them besides me either. So maybe it won't be as hard to find them. So in June for my birthday, I'd like a smoke machine. Smoke machine, please. All right. There you go. Beat the hell out of an ice, I'll tell you that much. It's better than the last gift you gave me.

It was a good gift. It was a good gift. I didn't see it coming, which is, I think that's what's starting to piss me off is how gullible I am. Well, and that's been your thing. I love icing people. Yeah, you, like. If you're wrapping a gift. I think I probably learned about icing from you. Thank you. You are right. I learned it from watching. You're welcome. Yeah. And life's been a dream since. Every, every, every Friendsgiving or whatever gets changed. Because to me, it's like if you're giving them a gift anyway, they know they have to open it. Fucking throw it in there. What are they going to do?

say no because they don't want the ice like fine I'll keep my present then basically my whole thought process when I did it to you I knew you were gonna work like a charm to do yeah which made it hard like I'm gonna find a way to get you it's gonna be harder now obviously but see I see the best of people that's my problem you guys are pieces of shit so I said what I said this shit out just can't take it that's true some days so what do you what are you doing for patty's day going out oh i'm sure okay well yeah i mean well i think we i think we're we're talking about it okay about going out say you know yeah i have a half day i'm gonna work get a feel like i did something that day and then and i have the next day off because let's be honest that's the more important day to take off so see with st patrick's days never because we always go out early that i've always been like that and then home i could do it i don't know what i prefer anymore when it's i agree like if it like this was a saturday i for sure would go out early i'd be home by four you know i like that but on a monday it's kind of like i don't know i i feel like the crazy people are going to be out early yeah and then like the night is going to be the more calmer time so sure yeah i don't know because yeah there i mean there's different schools of thought like we're obviously not young and throwing up in the streets type you know anymore thank god but there's still plenty of people that are actually it was last paddy's day when i was in uh cliffs and there was a fight right outside the window like i'm just watching it like it was adorable yeah kid like

watching i'm watching i'm like seeing it escalate i'm like that dude's gonna hit that guy and i can't remember who was with me they're like no he's not and i was like yes he is he pushes him and just knocked him out. I was like, oh, there he goes. Young. Yeah, young. Way bigger than me. That's not saying anything. Sure. Yeah. Well, probably late twenties. So right at that prime age of, oh yeah. Can't drink all day. Suck at drinking, full of testosterone, pissed off. God, that's when life was good. Yep. They had gut rot and they were fighting over some, nevermind.

Female. Same thing we always fight over when we're in our twenties. Yes. Yes. So. Little world there. Yeah. I'm excited though. I'm going to, yeah. I mean, also it's spring break. Yeah. So. Are you guys doing anything? Nope. Yeah. I said that like I have something cool planned. I don't. Right. At all. I work and yeah, but kids don't have school. So. Right. So that means that's great because you don't, that means on Paisley you don't have to pick them up or anything. No. So. No. And now they're all old enough to stay at home on their own. And so. That's like the second. like coming of being able to be young like it's like stages like you're free to do whatever you want to then you have kids and you you know you don't do anything you can't do anything or it's like one person gets to go out for the night one you know i mean oh i hated that yeah it's always terrible or you know then you always forget that the next morning's coming that they're going to be up at freaking six four yeah you don't know when uh you know um and then then they get to spot where they kind of take care of themselves a little bit and you get this nice little break i don't know if it's nice but you know it is i mean it's like but then it's also the other stuff and you start looking like god they're growing they're gonna be gone i agree yeah the only part of my kids getting older i like is the fact that like they're self-sufficient and we i and i know you couldn't you agree to this your kids are great like they're respectful kids you know what i mean that's great but yeah i miss a lot of the younger days but the crazy thing to me is there's so many people and i'm not judging anyone by the way but like there's i i see people our age having a kid

right on purpose oh not on accident which i don't know who would do that but like you know what i mean oh like oh i would i would yeah no but you're saying more like but like they're they're they're just like you know what i want one more and they're 42 or 40 i'm like you you know that's like 15 years at least of like pretty hands-on like you know they're not like this anymore yeah you want this yeah i just man go back you know also the cost of things start paying for daycare again are you out of your mind i just i just remember the house was just always fucked up but you know like they're you know i mean like it's just always wait hold on that was supposed to stop just like but like kitchen because there's bottles everywhere you know like you could never have a clean counter yeah and there was just always stuff everywhere and the minute you put away then it was you know i mean because the game's more fun to get it all out you know i mean whatever that it just takes over your whole house that oh no you know what i kind of forgot about that like that just hit my brain like i remember just the middle of night like bottles of formula being by my bed like because like you barely slept so it's like and i got really lucky i worked a weird shift where like i worked like second shift like two to ten so my wife got to like go to bed at a decent time i'd get home and i'd stay up late and like take the night shifts oh okay so we got we got lucky in that regard but i mean people who work both you were for a shift that's awful yeah we were we were up and it was and ashley was working like 10 hour days and so you know it was just like her schedule

was like she just always worked 50 hours a week it was just like how theirs was set up yeah and um so i'd get the kids ready in the morning just because she's already doing you know i mean and And then I'd pick them up after school or after work. And I remember they were across the town where we'd pick them up from because Ashley's sister watched them. Oh, yeah. So then, like, I mean, getting home late and all that stuff. There was just no stuff. But here's the funny thing. You're explaining this. That's still kind of your life because of how many activities your kids are in. You know what I mean?

It's changed. Like, they're self-sufficient, but you're still running constantly. Oh, that's better now because Soph drives, right? she does but but there was the days when she didn't and i mean still got coop and like that's it's a lot man yeah the stuff you guys deal with with all those activities it's good though thankfully my kid just wants to work and i'm like sweet he rode his bike to work tonight he goes to leave he goes i want to ride my bike to work i go where are you seven like that's weird and he's like but he does love he likes exercising and he likes riding his bike the minute it gets nice out he's He's like, I want to go out and ride my bike.

When did he get home? So he got home, oh, at night? I didn't really think this through, did I? That's what I'm saying. Did he think this all the way through? Like, yeah, it's beautiful now, but time we get off now? I don't think he has a light on his bike. I did not think this through. Yeah. We can edit this out, right? I'm a great parent, I swear to God. It's the first time he's ever asked to even think about it. All right, I got to go. I got to go get him. No, I don't. Yeah, no, I did not really think. You've got a phone. Turn the flashlight on and you'll be fine. He'll be fine. He'll be fine.

He's resourceful. He needs me. Dude, turn on YouTube onto a strobe effect. Tape it to the front. He'll be fine. No, he'll be fine. I mean, everywhere, you know, where he works versus where we're at. I mean, it's a 10-minute bike ride. It's not long. Yeah. And it's all busy streets. So, like, it's all lit up. You know, if he took the trail, that's not a good idea. But hopefully he's not going to do that. Even if he takes the trail, though, I'm not really worried. It'd be dark, though. There's no lights on it. But he'd be able to dig in with his flashlight. With his phone flashlight? Writing one-handed?

We have a really old-school golf cart in our neighborhood, and we don't have the fancy old lights on. I've driven more than once where I've just flipped on the flashlight. Does it work? Like, it's bright enough? Yeah. Yeah. That's true. It's what you need to see. You know what I mean? I'm going to a golf cart, so it's not like I'm not going 45 miles an hour. Yeah. I want to finish talking about this, but I also want to talk about how jealous of you I am. Because my, one of my top three goals in life is to live somewhere where I can drive my golf cart around, like my town. Yeah. And I can't do that here.

And it pisses me off. Which is weird. Cause you can, I mean, a lot of places are going to it now, right? Because like Cedar Rapids will never, it's probably too big to really do that. It's probably not really manageable. I get that. I like, cause some idiot would go ride it on Collins road or something. I understand. Screwed up all the way through there. But like my neighborhood is very like small, quiet, older community. community like we could totally go around the neighborhood in a golf cart yeah yeah yeah i don't i mean it is nice like i was yeah i bet the problem is now the freaking golf carts are insanely expensive oh that's something else i was gonna ask are those the normal prices because like i've looked at like some really beat down old ones from like a golf course that like probably needs new batteries the whole thing yeah and they're still like four grand and i'm like there's no way we got ours because you know we moved when we moved out there i was like with the this sounds we got to get a golf cart you know i mean so i'm like absolutely let's let's get one you know and it was like right when all of a sudden that started to get a little like we're smaller towns we're doing that right they're allowing golf carts and it was we started looking and we couldn't find you know i mean we had we just bought that house i was like it wasn't and we couldn't find one for it was like two grand was just like about where you had to be to get really any golf cart yeah And then if you wanted to get, like, one of the brand new ones that were really nice.

Oh, God. Then it gets insane. Well, then you're only looking at, like, five grand. Oh, really? Yeah. For those. Well, then we got ours. Like, Ashley set up some alert, you know, on Facebook or whatever. Oh, when one gets posted. And she responded in under a minute and said, we'll take it. And the lady, I don't remember what it was, but she was, like, having trolls get back to us. And then she's like, well, you were the first one. but since then um we've got a couple more offers like for this much and so then i think she was talking to the gal at that point she goes all right we will get we will match that price you have right now we are coming right now but that's the price and we'll pick it up well i'll be there in an hour that's what it's going to take me to go grab a trailer i'll talk to you the whole time whatever but that's the deal and we'll match that price and we're gonna come right now and whatever and she's like well don't you want to see it first and i go does it run she's like it runs i go i don't need to see it then i'll take it for that because we found her for like under a thousand bucks oh my god wow to the point to where and we have an old it's an old golf shirt i mean but but it it works it works and you couldn't find it for that stuff to the point to where like i remember getting in and she's do you want to drive around you want to drive around and like we got on it and drove around only just to make sure that she felt better because i was gonna be like oh really i don't care i'm gonna drive it up onto this trailer because you don't realize what you just did.

You should have drove up the ramp and been like, I'm like a champ, and it just pulls it out of there. So then we drove it out, and it was like a farm. So they were like, you can take it out there, whatever. And so we did. Hold on. Our producer has just poured himself a Guinness. I wanted to let you know that. Now, does he want to put in the cream? Or no? There's one bourbon cream left, if the producer would like a bourbon cream. Go ahead. Sorry. Just no. yeah so yeah so it was one of those like it felt bad like to the point i said to ashley i get home i'm like i feel bad because we got this for such steel but at the same time i don't know like what it's not my fault like we actually gave her like a hundred or two hundred dollars more than she asked for because of whatever i i you know like what i wouldn't feel bad because she yeah i mean it's first of all it's not like you you it's like you tried to talk her down you gave her the price she asked and it was still a fair price yeah so yeah it's not like where you watch like that pawn star show and someone walks in there with like a 500 000 he's like best thing you can do is 250 and the guy's like i'll take it and he's like got him you know what i mean like that's awful yeah yeah no so it wasn't like that but yeah i remember then that was a joke we had a few people in the neighborhood come over heard you ripped off some old lady i did that yeah that's just an old wives so until the guy comes over he's like that was my grandma right i'm so sorry i did yeah so since then And now they're really cool.

You can get all the cool – a lot of the people in ARAM have really cool lights on and turn signals and brake lights and stereos and Benettonia's is all jacked up. Oh, my God, I know. That thing is badass. It is. It's super awesome. The reason I brought it up is because a friend of ours has a cabin in Harper's Ferry, and we go up there, and they have a golf cart. It works perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with it. but they want like a newer one and like maybe one that's a little bit faster and i get it and so i kind of like looked at prices like well maybe i can help like pay for it because like i stay there sometimes or whatever and they're just fucking insane they're so insane and then i'm talking to our buddy whose cabinet is nick and he he wants one of those like polaris thing and i'm like dude the price of these fucking things i'm like i knew boys like their toys but at what point did these like little tiny things be like they're more than a toyota well i don't understand like i want it to make sense why is how is that more expensive because they're doing so much in a little space like well now those are those are road legal so you can drive them so like really yeah you can drive them well i guess i don't know if it i don't know me counting an estate they don't i guess you can't out by me right we can drive you can drive them on the highway you can do you can it's approved and i mean most of those go i don't think you're not gonna be on 380 no but they definitely go 35 miles an hour you know i mean they'll go 45 50 you know yeah so so you're going on a highway wow i mean so some of those i mean but they're like somebody get in there they might as well be cars they have air conditioning they're

like normal and see yeah that's what i'm saying they're they're that's so that's my thing i'm like 40 grand for all these things i'm like you can you can hold maybe four people and like by the way if you get hit get done yeah the game's over but at the same time they're like no there's roll bar it's cool i'm like okay we'll see you in the next county when you land yeah yeah but so a lot of people drive you know i mean the thing is have you been in them no i don't know his is badass you know no okay so she could write from him so he's had he's had a couple on he's onto his second one now that like and he but he like takes his to the trails and stuff like He went on a week-and-a-half-long trail where literally he had to pack everything in this thing, and they went on the trail, and they had to tent camp.

Okay, that's badass. Full-on. He had to build this other thing in there to get enough. Dude, this is what Erik does on his bike, so he's getting hard listening to this. He's like, tell me more. So he went on this deal, and a lot of those people do that, right? So he uses his, but then he's always driving over to our house or wherever, you know, he's always driving around in it. Or then, like, even going into town, he'll take it, you know, into Solon. You know, they'll do that. And shit, you see him in Solon all the time in the summer. It's like everybody just drives them to pick up their kids, like, and golf carts.

Like, literally, everyone's dropping their kids off, picking them up in their golf carts. And that's how Harper's is. But, like, that town is, you know, a tiny river town. Like, that's not, there's no school, right? But, like, you don't even, you barely see cars. I mean, you see trucks because they're pulling boats. Other than that, it's Polaris's and golf carts. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. So, I don't know.

It is fun. And, I mean, talk about, like, a gas cup. I mean. Yeah, they use nothing. Nothing. Yeah. We've been there for a week once, and I filled the thing up for, by the way, $25. I don't know. And we left for the weekend. I'm like, it was over half full still. Oh, yeah. My kids drove it all weekend. Yeah. I'm like, I don't understand how that only used that. I bet I fill our golf car up four times over the summer. That's crazy. We drive it all. We stay in our neighborhood, but that thing's... Zipping up and down.

It's a nice night. Let's crack a beer and just go run around and talk to the neighbors. And everybody does that. It's kind of fun. All of a sudden, everyone just pulls up. Oh, how you doing? And then they go to the next house. We kind of make a little event out of it. So in Harpers, they do a little poker and everyone gets in there. Yeah. So I'm like, again, that's why I want to live in a smaller... I like Cedar Rapids. I really do. But my dream place to live would be just outside the city. I'm not crazy. I don't want to live where it takes me an hour to get to a grocery store. I can't do that. But I want to live out where my neighbors aren't super close and I can, you know, drive a golf cart.

I've lived in both, right? So there's advantages to both of them. I mean, really, you know what I mean? It does get annoying that everywhere you've got to go is at least 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, like, everywhere. Like, there is no quick. And there is no pizza getting delivered. I mean, I'm sure you could DoorDash at that point. But then it's like you feel bad when it's like they charge $1.50. Oh, gosh. Some guy did like we like the other night we took an uber home and I was like oh you'd all the way to your place Yeah, well, yeah, cuz I wasn't gonna drive well. No, thank God Yeah, like for some reason I thought like you guys were riding with someone else or something No, but so we we did that, you know, and like I'm looking like It took us like 30 minutes to get out of here and like he's gotta go 30 minutes back Like unlike so I'm like reaching for any cash I had left and I'm like, here you go.

How much was the Uber ride? It was under $30. What? Yeah. That's how much it cost me to go from downtown to home. Yeah, you just catch it. I don't know. That's crazy. I wasn't shopping it. You know what I mean? No. Yeah. It was like, take me home. It could have said $90 and it could have been like, yep. Yeah, exactly. And it was like, you know, we've done it a lot. But I always throw more cash on them. Yeah. Because you come all the way out to our place. And I know you've got to turn on drive all the way back. I do like that the app reminds me the next day. It'll be like, your trip got complete.

It looks like everything. Well, do you want a tip? Because sometimes I'm in the bag or whatever, and I just don't even think about it. And the next day I'm like, oh, shit. And I'm like, throw an extra 10 on there. Yeah. A lot of times with mine, we'll do that. And then I'll have some cash. This is a question. Have you ever looked at your – like you have a rating as a passenger in Uber? Have you ever looked at yours? I haven't, which – So – Why don't you – let's look at yours right now. Let's see. Yeah, I would love to look at mine, but this whole new phone and transferring things over has been a nightmare to where this was half of our drama the other night after getting out of the bar and leaving to go home I normally always do the Uber You know what I mean I always set it up for us to do it And mine wouldn't work.

And Ashley's like, figure it out. She's like, she does so many other things. And she goes, this is your thing you figured out. Finally, I had to take her phone and order her phone. Because mine was. We've all done it. And it was just one of those like, God. So I know this is silly. But like, you know, the perfect rating is five. yeah yeah mine's 4.95 and i want to know who the fuck didn't give me five and why because you don't get to see it and i'm like clearly someone gave me 4.75 and i just want to know what did i do like you know what did i do to make you not give me five well some people just feel like everybody they're going for approval everybody i don't know you're gonna give me a complex let's be honest i knew i was gonna be better than you on that no i'm kidding I'm kidding.

What's yours? I can't get to it. You really can't? I really – this has been – it drives. It's okay. I'm just curious. I mean, 4.85, again, same thing. I bet this too, you've taken more Ubers than I have. Like I've probably taken 25. I used to all the time. Yeah, you traveled exactly a lot for work and stuff. So, like, I bet that's the same thing as me. It's like one person gave us 0.25 too small, and it just – and I just want to know why. Maybe I have insecurity issues. I want to know what the problem is. You didn't tip him. Yeah. You're a tipper, though. I am. I always tip. That's the thing. It definitely wasn't that.

Well, you could have tipped more. So, speaking of kids and stuff, my daughter is blowing up my phone. And I didn't want to answer the phone. I think you should respond her exactly. Well, I did.

Okay, yeah. We'll just take a pause. That's fine. dad when when are you coming back home dad i hear we we had to take a little pause because you know but also my daughter is blowing up my phone asking where i am we share location right it drives me crazy i'm like you look you there's been times i'm out somewhere and she's like why are you there i'm like are you why are you stalking me like i'm not it's not a secret but then the one time you're like where are you you forget that you can do it it makes no sense to me and i'm like you know i leave the house one night a week like i i drop darts so i can be home every night i have for you i have this what good god these kids i swear to god but i love her so much i don't understand how you share your location with your kids you think that's crazy yeah i think you're fucking nuts why why i just like what's the worst thing that happened so we don't even do the like 360 with our kids though you don't track your kids at all I mean we have like I can do it through you know oh you do find my iPhone but it's if that's like very like they're not answering like because they're at whatever and Sophie's gonna be driving okay are you in the car is that what you're not doing or whatnot you know I might need to know but I'm very rarely how do you ping everybody's fucking phones all the time because that's what I use it for that too where's my phone okay let me ping it for you because I know where mine is well you know you can ping it from find my iPhone oh yeah so I will say I think we scared the shit out of our kids that

they know where their phone is at like I mean literally like they wanted one so bad that my kids don't know none of them have lost their phone or like in my son loses everything and he fucking knows where that phone is all that I mean great helps it down the damn thing all the time but like to practice I thought we would have been through seven phones by now so I've had this I've had this talk with multiple parents because I did the same thing I was like they're gonna lose it all the time I don't want to get them one but then you don't realize like how much they wanted it because they're they use it all well they do but I mean like with Cooper like he'll take the school and sports you know and he's not on it because he's doing that so I know it's not that but he has lots of opportunity for that kid if you know yeah multiple places you're just adding layers on like cuz he comes home without sweatshirts and coats yeah you know book bags and everything else but he can't talk to his friends with those yeah but I'm so I get a hand to him hopefully that doesn't backfire but no so I even in the house they know where their stuff is that Ashley is horrible she it's loses her phone oh well in the house like she can't find where's my phone where's my phone can somebody ping it like and it's like the minute she can't find it then it's like anxiety and she's like somebody needs to can you call it okay here's Just look real quick before I forget to say this.

Doesn't she wears an Apple watch, right? She does. Does she know she could ping it from that? Yeah. Okay. Okay. I just wanted to ask. She used to. Yeah. Yeah. And that's fine. I just was like, what if she didn't know? I have one and I go and like, I'm addicted to it. I wear it all the time. And then all of a sudden, sometimes I'm like, I need a break from it. I get it. Mine drives me nuts sometimes, but like, I'm, I'm addicted to having it on. And I don't know why. Well, I'll still wear a watch. I think there's sometimes a different band. It just bothers me sometimes. Shaun, some of us can't afford real watches.

This is a poverty watch. It's like the buckle. You know what I mean? It's not. It's not. Yours is the most expensive one that you can get. No, I know. Clearly, but I'm talking about dress watches that I've had for literally 10 years that were 200 bucks. Yeah. You know what I mean? So that was. Well, $200 and it's 10 years later. It's worth even more. I hate to break it to you, buddy. It's not. I'm just kidding. No, fossils only increase in value, buddy. Fossils, yeah. I remember I got a bull of a watch. Oh, boy, you couldn't tell me shit. Right? Actually had me all tricked out in a black one with this.

Oh, it was so sweet. Logan went through a phase where he wanted to, like, so I'm going to save this for another podcast because it's a long story. But he's addicted to, like, fancy colognes. The kid has more cologne than I've ever had in my life. We didn't even talk about the cologne thing. Okay. So let's save that because it's a long thing to get into. Okay. But then he went through this phase. He's like, I want to get into expensive watches. And I go, you make $15 an hour and you don't work a lot. You need to stop this like, you know, Chardonnay. Yeah, we all want expensive watches. All of us do.

I want a yacht. I love watches. I've always liked watches. I've always had them. I've always worn them, though. I've always been a watch person. You have, yeah. So, yeah, if I ever had any money, I'd end up buying a really nice one that I would have because I would do that. I love that. I want to be – I want to get in a collection. I'm going to do this. Yeah. And this spirals into like the big thing he's into is vinyls. I mean he spends a lot of money on vinyls. And it's fine. He's like – and he always comes up with these logical – like, Dad, I'm only going to be young once. I'm not going to have disposable income like this forever.

I'm like, yeah, you also aren't going to have savings ever if you don't start saving. Ever, ever, ever. Because you're trying to teach them the things you didn't do. I wish I had saved some money. I blew it all. Agreed. Because – But I mean, like you, I've been making money since I was 16 years old. I've had a job. I was, yeah, since 14. Yeah, I got one when I was 16, and I worked 40 hours a week when I was 16, pretty much all the way through high school. Yeah. Like, I would always, yeah, I worked at a grocery store. I'd work on the weekends. I'd, you know, work long shifts at night. I was pretty much doing 40 hours all the time, and definitely, like, all summer went on.

So money, I just kind of always had it. Yeah. I just always had it. But I wish I just would have saved just a little bit of it like I like I don't like making them save everything No, because it's like their kids. It's like go have fun. Yeah, and But at the same time, it's like just a little something I just like I did the thing that annoys me is I agree totally But they blow their money on these expensive things and then when they go out the French right can have some money I'm like no no no no see what you're doing is you're blowing all of your money Right like you need to realize you can blow half and then you could save a little bit And then you can blow the rest on going out with friends and doing, you know what I mean?

I'm like, you can't have it all the ways, you know. It's time to start learning. So you're going to learn today. Today we're going to do some learning. Yeah. So it drives me crazy. You're a better human than me. That's all we're trying to do. You know what I mean? Maybe that's why they don't think we're cool anymore. I don't know. I don't think we are that cool. But the Life360 thing, one more thing I'll say is like, I can, you can track like how fast they're driving and stuff like that, which I don't look at that ever. but if they go like so my boss for example her grandson decided to go 110 on like the interstate once yeah i don't want to know that you might want to if it's like a continuing thing you know what i mean or and i don't want this story to go dark but i i do i'm gonna lightly surface it where someone i know is child got in an accident yeah and it alerted them because of that so like that it's pretty sure the accident part of it yeah like there's plenty of there for it i'm not i know you're not against it i'm just saying like these are by the way all things i learned after i got i just got it because i was like i don't know where you guys are it's just a weird thing with my kids that balance between safety and giving them their privacy yes because i i don't know because we had all the privacy well i had it yeah i mean and i think a lot of that led to then with privacy comes responsibility.

You end up kind of figuring it out too, as opposed to like sometimes when you know everything, you end up figuring out for them and they don't really learn that part to do it. You know what I mean? And I don't want to, there's just certain things I don't want to know. You know what I mean? I don't want to, and I don't know, you mean you challenge me, am I being a naive parent? I don't know. It's just the way that I look at them and and i have enough communication i'm not this isn't me compared to you or no i know yeah but like i i feel very comfortable with the amount of the communication that my kids and i have i do know they lie me because i've caught it well they're kids but i expect a little bit you know i mean i i really do but if if i didn't have like what i believe to be a really close relationship with them i might be on i might be more tempted to be on a shore to be like they're not talking to me and i just i just gotta know that they're not a little you know i mean even if i'm just making sure you're like not in the ghetto or doing something you know i mean like doing something like that but but yeah i i've been really trying hard not to do it and ashley then she kind of feels the same way i do which yeah that's great that's even better yeah it's so we we're kind of both on the same page for it so i don't know well here's where i think you're right is like especially is like we had we could do whatever we wanted yeah you know and and we and we we fucked up a lot we learned a lot from fucking up a lot you know so you're right in that regard it's like you kind of got like you got to get caught sneaking out you got like these little things you go through and that's the thing i don't look at mine often it's more just like if logan's not

home from work and he should have been i'm like is everything okay so like oh sure by the way when we took a little break i looked he's biking home so we'll see if we'll see if he makes it again i don't think you want to know that just let him come home make sure the bike's yeah i kind of do I'm a little parent. I'm looking right now. He's home. We're good. There you go. We did it. That's it. I love it. I want to know. We're going to need to check in with that one after you have a conversation. Like, so did you think about the ride home? Or did you get out of work and go, oh, shit. No, because you know what he's going to do?

I know my son. He's going to go, why didn't you tell me it was going to be dark? And I'm going to go, because you're fucking 17. You should have thought about it. There you go. There you go. I have something to call him. I'm not going to do it because I don't know what's going to come out of his mouth. He's, you've met me and he's, I think he's great content for the next episode. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, yeah. What happened when you got home? Oh, boy, let me tell you. Should we wrap it up? I think we should. Where are we at? We have a lot to talk about. Where are we at with the dad joke? Do we got a dad joke?

You guys want another curled drink? Yeah, we got a dad joke. All right. So why did Sarah fall off the swing? Why? She has no arms. Knock, knock.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah. What the fuck? I don't know if it's a dad joke, but I thought it was too good to pass up. She doesn't have any arms. Literally, he said Sarah, and I'm like, kind of the famous Sarah. It's like, I don't know. Is there one? Like, she's swinging.

Not Sarah. The best part about this was before we kicked this off, he's like, hey, I've got to make sure I have my dad joke. And I look over and he's just about shaking on his chair, giggling on himself. I knew it was going to be a decent. I'm pretty confident that's not a dad joke. I'm pretty sure that's not a dad joke. No. That's pretty. And if we want to go from dad to dark jokes, I've got tons of those, but we might get canceled. You know what? I think they all play. I think we want them all. Yeah. I think jokes should be. Well, cheers to you, man. The four-leaf clover. It tasted better than we thought.

I will say, I think. Drink it out of a strainer. Here's the thing. you got the name got the name nailed it you got some flavors that are going really well together i think we gotta we gotta sub one in and move we're gonna skip the carbonation next time we're gonna go we're gonna go jamo guinness either baileys or vermin cream and then we gotta think of something else that's either a liquor the four leaf or or a nitrogen induced drink like like guinness is not carbonated yeah well i trust me i'm i'm all right my mind's going i'm gonna i'm gonna figure it out yeah yeah because i already got some ideas i mean we just had another boost to it it's kind of where i was going yeah what we'll go uh uh what can i say folks he's a man that knows what's going on so to next time cheers cheers cheers everybody cheers