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Ep. 3Mar 28, 202552:49

Chugs, Deer in the yard, Car Accidents and Movie Theater experiences!

Episode 3 we cover it all from The Super Bowl to Car Accidents and people talking at the movies. Stay off our lawn!

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Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they're extinct.

Dad jokeEp. 3 @ 00:50:57

Why doesn't Paul Walker like donuts? Because he's dead.

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Show notes

Episode 3 we cover it all from The Super Bowl to Car Accidents and people talking at the movies.

Stay off our lawn!

Transcript

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Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

very full pours boys jesus we are back again good god man we are back so full we thought it would be great to kick off this segment or this podcast this episode with a chug i feel good about it we did it yeah no it was really good i mean that's talking about what we drank well it was listening It was, yeah. So we did, we went a little heavy on the ice. So we ran that one back again. We did a little of the ice and the Coors Light together. And it is good. And it's got lots of names. Yeah. Yeah, we'll have to have Erik go back to this. Yeah.

What was one? Marlboro Reds and Divorce? I don't know. That's what it tastes like. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not great. It's not bad. It's just, it just is what it is. It just is what it is. But it's solid. But, yeah, it's not a bad thing. So, I mean, we will do more of those until we're out of ices. Yeah. Just because I don't want that shit sitting around in my refrigerator. How many more do we have left? I don't, you know, but you can't keep that kind of candy shit around because the kids are getting to that age. Yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. Like, I mean, I could keep beer and whiskey all day long.

Think about just keeping whiskey in the house so that way there is none of that. That's the move. Yeah. That is the move. My son's done that where he's like, let me try it. And I'm like, here you go. And he's like, that's terrible. boy he just smoked why do you drink this it's awful i'm like i i it doesn't make sense until it does is what i say yeah one day it tastes it's a good explanation that's a that's a really because we all remember the first time we tried beer and it was like that is atrocious you know what i mean i remember did you like it right out of the gate i uh no i think i pretended like exactly i mean yes but i remember when we thought it was cool and we went in it was like thanksgiving it was all me me and my cousins and so then you know we ate at the table whatever and then they got up and went away and we thought it'd be fun to run up and sneak oh yeah whatever yeah only to find that you know empty cigarette butts in those cans like that's what was it that's what like also like oh my god you know i mean like so then oh i've drank my uncle's uh choose between once yeah i think that's worse oh dude i just told this story like two weeks ago and it's like it was the worst thing that's ever happened you spit it and it's like black and blue and it's like oh oh i'm gonna make myself talk it's so bad dude oh man i don't know i think uh i already don't think i ever would have been a chewer as it is but like i not from day one at like six years old i was like that's the worst thing you can ever do you ever you ever never i tried it like once yeah and like i was like no it's fucking messy and like i wasn't like a you know because it's now they have packs but

When we were young, they didn't have the pouches. The pouches are pretty sleepy. Yeah, because now everyone's into Zins. Apparently that's not that bad. Well, because it's just nicotine. A little bit of it is actually good for your brain health, supposedly. According to Joe Rogan, right? You know what I mean? But I never got into just straight tobacco. I was like, I guarantee I'm not going to like the taste. I don't want shit floating around my mouth. So I remember that we used to do it, and I got into the cherry skull. That's what we always do, the cherry skull. You give me a cherry skull pack, I would approach it.

Yeah, but so I remember just taking a little small, whatever, and I used to love to watch baseball games. Because you felt like you were one of them. No, but it just – because it's a long game. You're just sitting there, and you just chew. And I remember, like, just chewing and doing that. And that was like, I could see that, but I was 18 years old. Yeah. Like I did nothing else going on. Like I just thought I was the coolest shit in the whole wide world. That's why like eight or nine years old when they had the jerky that was in the thing. Oh yeah. Oh, the snuff? You betcha baby. You just suck all the meat juice out of it.

And you're like, that's some good shit right there. God, is there anything more? You wouldn't spit it out if it tasted too damn good. God, how disgusting is that? They still sell that shit. Do they? The jerky. Yeah. Well, jerky, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. I bet they do. There's some of those old boys. they're like I ain't using a pack like a pussy you know what I mean yeah I want to feel that fiberglass enter my skin you know world's got enough pussy you then watch yo US Canada hockey watch them fight oh god man I know I can't wait to find out who won like I really can't I I'm not like a super patriotic dude but obviously you're like I hope we win I get patriotic and so actually do from time to time it's weird you know what's really weird i don't cry a lot but i will i i get national anthem gets you gets me yeah like when it's like for like the olympics or like something like that when it's like it really will it'll it'll make me emotional and it doesn't like i get very yeah or it's just like it's not every time you know i mean but it is like that sense of like pride and playing for the flag or whatever you know i mean sure and it's not just like pro you whatever but just like i say flag like i would say like your team logo you know i mean type of thing but like that that sense of pride and all that stuff that comes along with it that like it literally can bring me to like especially in the olympics when it's like someone that i know that like they just worked so hard to get their whole life they get that one moment that thing it's like man yeah it's like well i saw something once about um oh fuck who's the the fastest guy in the world

Oh, Usain Bolt. Usain Bolt. And it's like he talks about how people give up because they're not seeing results fast enough or whatever. And it's like he trains for four years every single day to run a 12-second race. Yeah. Like, that's crazy. Meanwhile, like, you work out for a month. You're like, well, I only lost two pounds, so I quit. And he's like, he works a year to shave off one-tenth of a second. Right. That's insane. Mind you, somebody could trip and take you out. Oh, yeah. And they don't just start over. Like, oh, that wasn't fair. Yeah. Like, literally, somebody could fall in your leg.

You know what I mean? Like, it's just kind of like. That's a very good point. Yeah. Yeah, I can see how you can get patriotic. I mean, especially, like you said, I think it's more about the athletes. Like, that's a big fucking deal, you know? It is, but it's also, like, I couldn't think of anything cooler if I could ever represent my country. Oh, God. That seems, like, so, like. Yeah, next level. Like, in any sport. You know what I mean? It just seems like, you know. It's the mecca. Yeah. Like, and it's not even close. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. There's a lot of pride there. You know what I mean?

Also, like, we're playing Canada. Like, it's their only fucking sport. And that's pretty big deal. And that is their jam, man. It'd be like if they came over here and, like, beat our ass in football, I'd be like, oh, man. We suck. Yeah. Like, we... We got to make some changes. We got to do some shit. Yeah. So, yeah. Hopefully it goes well. Last time I checked the score right before we started, it was 1-0, not us. So... Okay. It was early. So a lot could happen. It was early. And I just... I also, no matter what happens, hope there's a shitload of fights. And we kind of talked about that in the last one, but I never get tired of watching hockey fights.

It's actually, I've never taken the kids to a hockey game, so I'm going to do that this year. Oh, have you never been down just like the rest of the years? I have, but like they've never taken the kids down. We go to a lot of baseball games, but we just, I realized recently that they've never been to a hockey game. Man, I know. I'm wondering if they've, I wonder what my kids have been doing. Yeah. I'm going to go pay the payers. I mean, I've been doing everything to have Cooper not do that because it's the only sport he doesn't want to play. And I remember one time he came home and said, yeah, I'm thinking about it.

And I go, you are not doing that. Yeah. So then he's like, come on, you know. And I go, all right. Once you can rollerblade, you know, once you can do that, I go, then you can do it. Have you ever ice skated? I'm terrible. I'm not good. I've never even tried it. I'm just bad. Like, I can't. I have a boat. I can't water ski. Like, I've been up, like, once. Yeah. But I can't really do it. I guess I don't know. I can't snow ski. I'm not good. I've never been able. i've never been done roller skates like when my feet are not like planted down like and like i've played a lot of sports in my life you know exactly yeah i cannot ski i can like when my feet are not like stable i am really yeah i am a mess like i am i could not rollerblade but i could roller skate so i'm like i'm like half but i can't even yeah but i can't even i couldn't even do that like it was like when my i don't know why like i just can't i don't know there's something fair about wanting to be stable on the ground well I just like you would think like for as many sports they did play like like a lot of people do it yeah I mean like I love my sisters but they both could rollerblade and I couldn't even you know I mean I look like the biggest yeah I look the biggest moron out there you know it's like we're just like the big ogres with a club like yeah yeah but it was Cooper I was like if you can skate yeah all right because that's the thing like a girl I I know that I used to work with her son does ice hockey and he's young.

And one, I'm like, I, she's posted about it. She's like, it is the most expensive. Well, it is. It is. And Cooper would want to be a goalie. Cause that's what he, you know, it goes along with lacrosse and all the other stuff, which is even more gear. So, yeah, thank God. You know what I mean? Like, you know, I was thinking about this the other day. So he's, he's getting to that point where, he's going to hit a high school where you got to be really good to play you know i mean you got to really earn your spot and like i said about earlier he loves sports he loves to be a part of it you know i hope for his sake that he gets he gets a shot you know i mean and anything or guy gets to grow a little bit you know therefore he will i know he will he will like but hey at least he's jacked but he's a bruiser but he just like he's so like content with it like he's playing basketball He's on the C team.

And he's like, no big deal, man. I'm going to just try to be the C team warrior. Like, I'm all for it. I'm like, you have the great attitude for this stuff, which is really good. Because his class is insanely athletic. Like, I mean, they are. Well, Solon also is just. Well, but his class is. They, I'm not saying. I mean, if those kids stay on the track and they stay together, they are going. They will win state in multiple sports. I mean, like, they just. It's phenomenal. Like, it's absolutely. to see it's really cool to see and then i like at cooper i'm like well you get to be a part of that stuff but then i'm like looking at you like poor guy doesn't like you don't really have a shot on some of this stuff because there's some of these kids are so good like you know and so yeah whatever so goes life you know i mean like yeah but he's got a great attitude it's so nice that he has that good attitude he plays that many sports he has that good match i mean you see so many kids like i coached logan doing baseball one year and like a kid would you know get a strikeout walk away slamming the bat down i'm like what the like yeah dude it's life goes on and also you want to go up to them and i know they're not the age so you don't do it but you're like half of a half of a percent of you guys make it well like you know what i mean but i'm saying any sport just about you know what i mean the nfl all the major ones like absolutely but then like the but the thing is like baseball it's a game of failure you know what i mean like yeah if you do it three times 10-year in the Hall of Fame.

You know what I mean? Like, in what other world is that, like, you know what I mean? Like, what other sport is that? It's like, yeah. Like Mike Trout was slumping. They're like, go to the minors. He's like, excuse me? And they're like, I said what I said. They're like, God damn. Like, yeah. No one ever went up to Jerome Bettis. They're like, hey, we're sick of these one-yard touchdowns. They're not long enough. Well, it's just one of those things. So you have these kids that, like, get hard on themselves. And I'm like, dude, this game is set up for a family. It's really kind of about being tough.

Yeah. Anyways, it's one of those things I think about him as he's growing up. I just want him to keep having fun. And he's got that little flair. He's got that right little confidence about him. He has some swag. Well, he does. But I know life will take his confidence away, so I don't want to be the one to do it. You know what I mean? It does, right? Life takes away our confidence. It does. We think we have it. We think we have it. All of a sudden, you're not anymore. And then you're not in a hurry. Oh, that sucks. And so I think about it. But I'm like, I know something's going to take it away.

I don't want to be someone gonna do it you right in the dick Yeah, not gonna be me, but I also this but he's what I love about him is he's playful But he's not like he doesn't tear people down like he's the first guy to picks a guy up and the football feels like he'll tackle somebody and pick them up or Like in baseball like someone strikes out. He's like hey, that's good pitch man Or like whatever you know, I mean something like that He's but he's also the first guy that he hit that shot. He's like walk around flexing You know and he's got is like I'm gonna shoot to the crowd like he will like so he's both Who was that man? But I think he's entertaining like he likes that part of it as a show like he doesn't really Yeah, he likes that but he doesn't really like he'll do that and then pick up a kid Like he'll flex and then like oh, I mean help I think he's the Andrew Luck. You know what I mean?

Where it's like I just love the videos of him like getting absolutely demolished by the way like You're like I think you separate your show. He's like Good hit big man. Yeah, like oh fuck I think he just says it's like why did he retire at 27? I'm like I have an idea. Yeah, like right. He was on his ass Yeah he rich and nobody ever gave him an offensive line How about we do that He easily probably would have been one of the players but uh you know we didn talk about the super bowl yet it was a couple weeks ago we should at least talk about it you know we do got to get out there because it wasn't good all right moving on so i don't know i mean it was it was entertaining ish was it no but like I mean, Cooper DeGene scored, which was awesome.

I mean, obviously I'm rooting for the Chiefs, and it's just me and Cooper rooting for the Chiefs. Everybody else that's over at our house for our Super Bowl party, everybody's rooting for the Eagles because everyone kind of had fatigue of the Chiefs. I was rooting for the Chiefs because of our man behind the camera, Erik. Anyone our boo-boo is rooting for is who we're rooting for. But also I would have been okay if the Eagles won. So right when that pick happens, but here's what comes out of my mouth. fuck oh shit that's Cooper's regime go go go go go go go go because I wanted to school like I'm like it's an island I can't believe they did that but oh go go go don't get tackled now literally I'm like fuck and I'm like oh wait go go go go go go go get it yeah dude can you think of a better story like has I mean even even from an Iowa perspective what player I mean none of them but like first season you know what I mean having the season he had I don't even know if anyone scored a touchdown on him all year i mean guys like him aren't supposed to play quarterback i'll leave it at that no the ladies yeah i'll go i'll say what it is yeah it is what it is like yeah they they do call me exciting whites in philly uh but like you score a pick six in the motherfucking super bowl you know like that's in that's crazy i mean i'm supposed to happen but i remember tim dwight scored yeah he returned a putt or a kick oh for the for the falcons that never happens especially nowadays.

That's pretty badass. I remember when that. It wasn't his first year, though. No, no, it definitely was his first year. But it's just another Iowa boy, I guess, is what I was saying. So, I mean, there's been plenty. That was a highlight of the game for sure for us in this state. You know what I mean? It was like, because, you know, all we do is send tight ends to the NFL. We don't send. Well, our linemen. I mean, come on. They put plenty of linemen in there. Well, actually, Iowa has a surprising a lot of players in there. But, yes, your skill players just, you know. It's usually the big boys. Yeah, you're either on the line or you're a tight end for sure.

So, I mean, it ended up being a somewhat exciting Super Bowl if you look at the score, but it really wasn't. Came back a little bit, yeah. There was a little shot there, but it was, yeah. It was very clear that. I think it was Super Bowl, like you said, fatigue. I think the Chiefs, like, you know. Fatigue. They'll definitely go back. Patrick Mahomes being pissed off is not going to be good for anyone next year. No, I don't think so either, and I think that, yeah. You think Kelsey will come back? I think he'll be back. I think he will too. I mean, he's getting up there, but I think he'll want one more chance at least to see if he can.

Yeah. I just feel like, I guess I don't know. He won't play for anywhere else. No, I don't think he has any of that stuff. You know what I mean? It's good for him. But I think he's, I mean, the truth is they got other tight ends that are going to be playing over him. Like, you know, that Noah Gray or whatever is really good. And they got other people. You know what I mean? There's other, which he's been the first one to say that too, that they got legit people. Yeah, and there's a really good chance they don't make it back to the Super Bowl again. You know what I mean? There's a lot of teams getting really good.

I think I said this once before, but I really would love to see the Lions get there. I just think they, you know, there's a lot of people with a lot of skill on that team. And let's be honest, Detroit deserves to fucking be in a Super Bowl one day. Give them a Super Bowl, please. Come on. As a Cubs fan, you're like, can we just get another shot? As a Cubs fan, I do think about those fans. I'm like, give them their year. Logan, my son said that to me. God, this wasn't like a week or so ago. He said, do you know that there's teams who have never even been to the Super Bowl? And I go, yeah, dude, I know.

And he goes, that's great. Why would you? Oh, because he was talking about why you root for teams. He goes, why are we Cubs fans? And I went, sit down, son. I need to talk. I'm like, so your dad had a grandpa who was a Cubs fan. And I sat down and we watched WGN every fucking game. And we watched Joe Girardi and Mark Grace. We knew the whole lineup. And then we're on at 1.30 in the afternoon, Channel 3. Oh, man. You're on. Your day is good. You know what I mean? God, it was the best days. My favorite player of all time, Andre Dawson was playing. The Hawk was your guy? The Hawk, yeah. Austin Dawson.

So I saw a thing. Did you see? Meta points. Did you see? Really? Yeah. I have a photograph on the baseball. Did you see that Greg Maddox, did you ever see the one where, I don't know who they were playing, but he was pitching for the Cubs, because that's where he started. Like the Hall of Famer, Greg Maddox. He only did his first at-bat in the MLB, or is that what you're about to say? No, no. So he was pitching, and if they didn't win the game, he was getting sent down in the minors. He was up at the – Really? Yeah, they were sending him down. And the Hawk got hit and knocked him out. Like he got hit in the face and got knocked out, and he was pitching.

And Rick Sutcliffe came up to him. Remember Rick Sutcliffe, the pitcher? Big old handlebar mustache. He said, he goes, just get through this inning, and then you can knock the next guy down. and he goes, nah. Nah. Nope. And got up there and put the next guy down, and it was already warning, so he got kicked out of the game. No shit. So then he lost the game because they all said they haven't enough. He'd only been through the third inning, so he couldn't get the win, and he got sent down. They sent him down? They sent him down because, you know, whatever. That's dedication. But then, like he said, he's like dedicated.

Like, he's like, so Rick said to him, they're going to send you down if you don't win this. Like, you need to get through this, and then you can. you need to get through the next thing that you put him down and he goes i don't care if another if i don't pitch another anything i'm i'm gonna take this next guy down he drilled the next guy so it's like one of your teammates well it's like okay there's a reason why he's like maybe one of the best pitchers to ever play yeah there you go he's got that mentality there for it for yeah for making it happen yeah i mean i i think if i remember logan brought this up because he was like why are we rams fans and i was like well okay i go growing up like i loved marshall falk and that that's honestly the only reason I became a fan.

But then it just so happened that our family was good family friends with the Warner. Right. Kurt went there. So I was like, well, fuck. I know. Now we're locked in. Right. So when they moved back to LA, I was, I was pissed. My uncle Mark's been a Rams fan since he was born. He's like, Hey, dickhead. They're from LA. I go, I understand that, but I'm not from LA. I wasn't a fan of him in LA. So it's like, you don't understand what it's like to be me. So yeah, I don't know. Sports is a weird thing, but I tried to explain to Logan, like you just, you stick with your team. It doesn't matter if they suck.

This is where it goes back to is, I said, my grandpa never even saw them in a world series. Yeah. Which is insane. And that's why it was such a big deal when they went. It wasn't even like, I was excited, but I was like, dude, I was so emotional. I cried like a baby when they won because it was like, all I thought of is all those games. My grandpa watched him. He never had to see it. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what my favorite pictures is there's a guy stay outside of Wrigley. And this was before the world series. It was when they clinched and he held a set. and said this is for grandpa and like that was my cover photo for like that whole postseason it was just the coolest thing in the world but i told the guy so that's why you stick with your team because one day you just hope it pays off right and then you look like a boss because you're like you stuck with them when they were shit yeah what i mean and then everybody does give you your they give you your flowers like you stuck with them like that was it because it's not easy we're you're with we're at third base right were you there no so i was at home we had the kids and stuff that night then my internet went out and i literally i because uncle mark was there and stuff you guys said you saw him or whatever i grabbed my keys i was about to leave and brook went the internet's back on and the game's on and so i just stopped at the door and ran back in and i didn't i was coming there yeah that was all like that was oh i can't fathom what it was like in that it was it was unbelievable because we weren't i remember i had a training the next day because it was on like a Wednesday or Thursday when they won.

I think it was a Wednesday. Wednesday. I think it was a Wednesday. One of the funny shirts about that is like the greatest game ever played was on a Wednesday. Wednesday night. Yeah. It was a Thursday, yeah. And we were – I remember getting a phone call, hey, we're thinking about going over this – we're going to third base or whatever. No, we were going somewhere else.

And I was like, God, I didn't get it, blah, blah, blah. and then ben himes is like i'll drive and i'm like okay yeah so sounds good because ben's a huge cubs fan you know whatever and so he comes over picks me up because this right when we moved out to our house way out out of town so he picked us up we go in there and then the first place we're going to go to i don't remember we went to like two bars we could get in like it was already packed and we got a third base and it was like we found a table come on in i can't believe you even got a And it was a weird thing. Like, it was like a family that had just gotten up, and they just sniped it really quick and then had it.

Was it when the rain delay happened? They're like, we're going home. No, no, because we were there from the beginning of the game. Oh, you were there the whole time? Yeah, we watched the whole game there. Because then it was, like, getting to the point, like, the rain delay. Then it was like. It was getting late. Then it was like, do we just go home now and then watch the end of it? Like, how long is this going to go? What's going to happen here with it? And literally, right when we were about to do that, then all of a sudden the game comes back on. And it's like, we watched the end of it. and being in that bar when that happened oh yeah everybody's just going crazy it was it was so cool it was like i bet even troy the owner it's like i bet he would go down and saying like that was the greatest night in that bar it was so cool that's everybody you know like you're just hugging everybody everybody there like we just sat there like every pitch you just you know you can hear the sound you're sitting there the whole time and you're like and right when i hit right when the hit comes you're like oh and then like when it happens you're like yeah and it was there's beer flying everywhere and everyone like and it was great yeah and what's the guy that owns it troy troy and he's a huge cubs fan so he was really you know i mean he was all into it it was it was a night that i didn't go god it was a night it was well i wasn't gonna go either it was one of those random things and i i thought it made sense to be at home because i was like i you know i just want to watch it and like i don't want like anyone like ruining it for me but like the more i like i realized after i'm like well fucking third base no one's gonna ruin it for you it's like they're all cubs fans no one there was rooting for the fucking indians yeah nobody was no it was it was all it was it was yeah it was one of those really really hard ones so sports is just too good

i had this talk with care recently where i was like i i saw this like uh video it was like a TikTok of a guy and he's like this is me enjoying things when football's not on and it's like him going down him going down a roller coaster his kids are having fun he's just staring at the camera like and it's like him like riding driving in a Porsche he's just like like nothing is nothing is happy like life's gone there's no football yeah it's like there's joy it's like it's not football not being on to me is like having seasonal depression just always it's like I'm still fine I'll be here I'm happy, but I'm just much more of a happy person when I know Thursday night's coming.

I get to the football. Even with shitty teams, yeah. It's still something to watch. It's college football on Fridays and Saturdays. There's all Sunday. There's Monday. You know what I mean? It's the greatest time of the year. It is. Not to make this all about sports, but I thought about that today because I was like, it hasn't been long, and I already miss football so much. Where did you replace it with?

Sadness. depression. No, I mean, I don't know. Football Americano? Podcasting and talking about it. Is that why? Yeah, this is basically therapy. Yeah, betting on other sports. Yeah, betting on other sports. No, I bet on tennis and fucking football Americano. Yeah, football. Rugby and, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you can't replace it. It's too good. That's all right. I replaced it with getting into accidents. I got an accident this week. That was fun. What happened? Paint the picture. It was pretty boring. What day when was it? This was... So it wasn't even weather. No, no, no. It was just cold. I didn't do shit for once in my life.

No. So I'm in front of the little drugstore on Boyson and just stopped. And all of a sudden, boom! And I'm like, I mean, everything in my car, my SUV just goes flying. So I was like, what the fuck? And I look in my rearview mirror and I see this kid. And I'm like, motherfucker. walker so i was like can't pull over here like that's already a shitty road right right so i put my arm with the one on i'm like you better follow me or i will whip around and find you you know i mean and he follows me and i go into boyson a little bit and into bowman woods and pull over i get out he's a young kid like you know how everyone looks to us like i thought he was like 12 you know right right but i found out when i saw his license he was like i don't know 22 or 23 or something like that.

And he just white So he having a great like he like I mean that was It peak of his life Peak of his life He doesn even doesn even know Okay you hurt my neck No but so like he got a girl in the car and she just like looks terrified won even look up at me And he's like I'm sorry. This has never happened shockingly like he hit me really hard I go to the back of my SUV. There's not a fucking scratch because my my hitch sticks out like an inch ah it fucking just took the motor almost steel. Oh, it took it all. Busted his shit up bad. Oh, yeah. But I was like, oh, man. And I've been thinking about getting rid of my SUV and getting something else. I'm like, maybe I'll keep this around for a little bit longer.

There you go. Yeah, I felt really bad, though, because he was so scared. And, like, my son just totaled his car, like, a year ago, and it wasn't his fault. And the woman, in my son's case, was awful. Like, she tried blaming him, and it was clearly not his fault. Even her insurance was like, we're not even going to attempt to fight this. She clearly blew through a stop sign. I was like, thank you. And I so all that came back to me and I was like as much as I want to be like ow my neck hurts like Where's my settlement? I was like no, you know, so I super cool I gave him my info and he's like, you know Do I owe you money and I was like No, not right now at least I was like do my car is fine. Yours is gonna need some work Yeah, we traded info and I set him on his way But yeah, I texted some friends afterward and I was like alright What do I do to get my settlement? And a buddy was like, you got to request an ambulance right away and make sure you shit your pants on the way to the hospital.

And I was like, Jesus. Like, that's, yeah. I was like, tell me you've done this before without telling me you've done this before. I wonder why you haven't worked in years. It's like, you're a messy bastard. And I was like, well, I didn't even call an ambulance. And so if I just shit my pants now, it's just awkward. So, yeah. So I let it go. But I called his insurance and like did all the things and they haven't even reached out to me. But I'm good. There's nothing wrong with you either. My neck was sore for the day. I'm fine. Because you didn't see it coming. Yeah. I had no idea. I literally had looked up in my thing and no one was there.

It was one of those lights where you're like, this feels like it's going forever. And it went green. And I was like, boom. And I was like, what the? Dude, it scared the fuck out of me. I had that happen to me once too. Same thing happened. I got drilled. But the back? Yeah. I had no idea. I had no idea it was coming. So I didn't tense up. I just, you know. well that happened sore for like three days and i've ever talked to the girl like in my car's pretty fucked up so was there so was hers but it was like one of those i go oh my neck's a little sore but like i think i'm fine like you know whatever but i'm i'm gonna tell you it's sore in case if it doesn't go away yeah i mean because i'm like yeah i'm like i'm not gonna tell you i'm completely fine so you'll be like i talked to you and you're fine like you know whatever um but the worst one that ever happened to me i was in a wendy's drive-thru this is i've never felt so bad for so i'm in a wendy's drive-thru and um this car it's like these young kids you know they're like must be flirting with the girl on the on the mic the intercom whatever and it because it's like 11 o'clock or whatever and that you know whatever and so they pull up and i pull up to the to order and the kid like pulls up and then he like whips back in reverse and i'm like like he pulls back so fast i try to hit the horn before i can do it and i like barely hit it and he just rams right into me it was when i had i had a trailblazer oh yeah and the kid's trunk and everything folds all the way up you know i mean like whatever and i get out and i'm like

fuck you know what I mean so I get out and look at it like nothing to the front of my car yeah and the kid comes out and he's like wide-eyed you know same thing and kind of looks at me I look down I look at him and I go sorry bud your dad's gonna be pretty pissed off but I go you don't owe me anything I'm fine yeah I'm like I'm fine he's like what do I do and I go I don't know man there you go but there you go good luck I go what you should do is come up with a story real fucking task but I go is it gonna be me because I like and then the kid's like well you know like he started then like almost like that he wanted to try to pin it on I go dude you're in a drive-thru and you just slammed it in reverse yeah there's no denying what happened here this is not going to be you're not going to win this yeah but I go I invite you to tell your dad whatever you want to tell your dad because I'm fine like we'll be alright so you got hit Yeah, whatever.

Do whatever you want to. You know what I mean? Like, so, like, kid pulls over. I pull up, grab my food. I'm like, see you later. I'm literally giving you a kid at a jail. That was kind of what I was like. I was like, dude, you just drilled this. And I'm like, but then I just felt so bad. I'm like, and in my head, I'm like, I'm sorry. You're like, I'm sucked that you have to go home. Yeah. Because this whole trunk folded all the way up. And I was like, ah, shit.

Yeah. Exactly. Right. Whether I stuck around or not, that's happening. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, yeah, but that's the thing. I just saw the kid and I saw how scared he was. And I was like, of course, he's huge. Fucking asshole. Every kid is taller than me. So frustrating. I probably got out of my car and he's like, what the fuck is this? Like, he looks 60, but he's half my size. 22 and tall. No, but he's still scared. He was so happy. I was like, dude, you're good. Don't worry about it. Like, this shit happens. And I was like, it just happened to my son. He's like, thank you so much for being so cool.

I was like, yeah. Look, I'm not hurt. You know what I mean? I'd be pissed if my fucking couldn't move my neck. Right. Yeah. I'm going to be just fine. Yeah. My car is fine. I never realized how thankful I am to have a fucking hitch. I was like, that thing does some shit. It does. I've never been rear-ending.

So, yeah. You never forget your first time. You'll be all right. Do you want to talk about something I saw this week with you? Oh. I feel like I'm getting caught off guard here. You have no idea what I'm going to say. I have none, but yes. Is there maybe a reason you were walking through your kitchen holding the BB gun? Yes. Let me set the story. I get a Snapchat from your wife of deer eating your backyard. She's like, that's brand new sod. And I was like, how fucking old are we? We're that old. We're that old. Get off my new sod. And I go, Ashley, go fucking scare them away. They'll run. I was like, I'll send my dog over.

He hates deer. You know what I mean? Yeah. The next snap I get is a fucking Shaun walking through the fucking kitchen with a BB gun like cocking it like oh, they're alert today The old Red Ryder BB gun like no it was is so you'll shoot your eye out Yeah We Did a bunch of work in the back so that we had all this side that we put down we put a bunch of it down And so like in the morning, I'm like, hey, I think the deer were sleeping in our yard because they like They're like fresh food. Well, but I didn't think about food I just thought they moved the snow away and did that because we have, like, a fence.

But we have this one area where we have the panel down. And I thought they were just going back there because it was when it was really cold. And, like, I bet they're back here because it's, like, cutting down the wind a bunch because it's one of those privacy fences. So, you know, I was like, they're just laying down here. No big deal. And I, like, show it to Ashley. And she's like, oh, that's kind of cute. And I'm like, they don't go in the pool. You know what I mean? They go around it. Like, it's like they know it's up, you know. But it was like, all right. and then later that day then she's like there are they're eating you know i mean she's like they are not just they're back there eating that and i'm like we fucking spent money i'm like there's a lot of money on that shit yeah so of course uh and everyone by the way all of us in the comments are like fucking go shoot them you're in solon no one cares but that's why i love we were all saying this shit and all of a sudden you show up with a bb gun and i'm like oh jesus Yeah, so I literally am sitting there like Cooper's got that red rifle BB gun around here somewhere Deer are gone. They have never but they haven't been back since really know she filmed that and showed me when I got home They're scared of me. Well, don't worry. That's I set And then when one neighbor comments on he goes, you know All you're gonna do is shoot one of those guys in the ass You're gonna freak him out He's gonna jump in your pool and he's gonna tear all that thing that shit too He goes so maybe you find a better way to do that. I wouldn't even have thought of that.

So then all the money we spent back there is just gonna be destroyed off of all this stuff. Would you rather buy one new piece of sod or a whole new miner for your pool? Not that I think I really would ever have the ability to do it. It was just one of those things where I was like, come get some! Jesus Christ. Yeah, no it was just very funny because I was like it was right on cue where you're like oh they're gonna fucking learn. I was like, I forgot you were home that day. I was like, oh, shit. Yeah, Shaun's going to be pissed. So, you watched anything good lately? I did. So, I got to, everybody knows, I'm sure.

It's been one of the big ones, but Presumed Innocence. I've never heard of it. Dude, it's legit. It's full-on legit. I think it's like six episodes. You know what I mean? It's like a short series. Mini-series. Mini-series type deal. So, like, there's not going to be another season. It was just like a. No. I think it's one and done. I like those. Yeah. But it's awesome. It's like your criminal, you know, like who did it, but for real. Like it was one of those, like I had heard that it was good. And I tried to get Ashley to watch it and she didn't want to. And then whatever came up, she's like, fine, let's watch it.

And then she was like hooked right away. Hooked right away, therefore. That's the beauty of those miniseries. Everyone's like, well, it's only six episodes. Yeah, but usually they're really good. Yeah. One, it's not like where you're like, well, the first season's slow, so just stick through that. You're right. It's like, no, if there's only six, it's going to grab you by the balls. It's just like a long movie with breaks in it. You know what I mean? Yeah, because sometimes you get through, you get on these series and you're like, oh, well, season two sucks. But don't worry. And you're like, well, I don't want to watch 12 episodes.

Even like The Office, which is like a classic to people. I'm like, the first season's a little rough. You know what I mean? I'm like, then it's great. Yeah. But, like, yeah. Some people don't want to stick through fucking 12 episodes of something that's boring. That's terrible. That's fair. But then I have a hard time going back to it. Anyway, so. Yeah. Presumed Innocence, you should watch it. I think you'll like it. Who's all in it? Jake Gyllenhaal is in it, so. Anyone else famous? I mean, I'm already going to watch it, but I just didn't know if, like. Is it Peter Sarsgaard? Oh, shit. Which one is he?

There's, by the way, there's, like, five Sarsgaard brothers, and they're all famous actors. Oh, yeah. Well, he's a detective. The older, kind of, regular. he's from Thor. that one? yeah yeah not I'm not I said from Thor not Thor but like remember the first Thor there was the guy who liked the professor he's a Scargard. is it him? look at you see? I know watch what one is there's the famous one that is Pennywise. Bill Scargard and then there's one that's from Vikings he There's Loki and Vikings. Okay. Yep. And there's another one. Oh, the other one is from True Blood.

Okay. Oh, that could be. There's a bunch of them, though. I'm like, peace of fucking this family is on fire. Legit. The show is, watch it. It's good. It's really good. And you can knock it out in a weekend when you got. Sir, I can knock it out in the night if I try hard. Yeah.

True Blood. That's right. Yeah. I think he's he might be the most well no one who played Pennywise is the most famous I think because now he was in the crow recently He's been in a bunch of shit. I think that's bill What do you do your kids though be like you guys ought to be tall handsome and fucking world-class actors Otherwise like being a Manning You're going to know there's that one brother eating shit He was a doctor or something. No, Cooper. He was the best of them all. He got sick. He was the first one. He was a receiver, though. He wasn't quarterback. Now I feel like a dickhead. He got leukemia, and I'm like, oh, fuck.

No, like, legit. He had a full-on, like... Are you serious? Yeah, he had a full... He was a receiver. I thought there was one brother who just never, like, he just wasn't sporty. No, he was full-on sporty. Cooper was the first one to get drafted. He was the oldest brother. He was the first one to get drafted, but he got sick his freshman year. He got a like a disease or whatever. Yeah, so all right. I feel bad. Yeah, I'm sorry The other ones were all quarterbacks, but he was like he was She's like high school like I think like recruiting wise he well, I guess I don't know I thought he was just like a doctor or something like no Well, he is like he's been an investment maker like he he does well his own, but yeah, he was He just got sick. Yeah, so no, I did not know that that yes cuz like he ends up like that's the dad and that's the one that's in that's the one that's in this show no no oh then I was wrong because that's who I was talking about say they all famous like like literally they pop up in everything Say if you find like a show Was it like Slow Horses Was that one that he was in And then we watching a new one that this recommended Anyways, it's legit.

I just can't think of the one that you would trigger. Yeah. Say, lately, I'm, so. Well, I mean, you watch. So, this was weird recently. I don't go to the movies a ton. I love going to the movies. There's just been so much shit the last couple years. I mean, we used to go a ton before that. Then COVID happened. And since then, it's like, I go rarely. Did you find who he's from? Where I could think of, he was the villain in Green Lantern, the shitty Ryan Reynolds. Oh, God. No wonder I forgot about him. That sucked. No, you're right. I would not have thought of that, but you're totally right. Yeah.

They all kind of look the same. You can tell they're all related, but they're all different enough. Yeah. Because aren't they from, like, Iceland or something? Sweden. Yeah, close enough. Somewhere not America.

No, but recently, so, like, this past week, I went to two movies in two different days. Like, back to back. Yeah. So, me and Logan have always went to, like, we've seen every Marvel movie in the theater. Almost opening night. Not always opening night, but we've seen everyone together. And the new Captain America came out. So we went to that. And then my daughter, I told her, like, part of her birthday gift was, like, us doing a date day or whatever. So I was like, we'll go get pedicures. Like, whatever the fuck. You know what I mean? And she wanted to go see a movie. So we went and saw Heart Eyes, which is, like, a scary movie.

Which I, my kids love scary movies. They definitely get that from me and their mom, which is great. But they, this one was fucking weird. We're talking like big actors, but super B-level. But they played into the fact that it was cheesy, if that makes sense. Okay. So do you remember Devin Sawa? Every girl was obsessed with him when we were in high school. He was on the cover of Teen Beat and all that stuff. I don't. He was in Final Destination. I think he was in the first one. Okay, I saw the first one. So he's in it. And then remember the super hot chick? Now you're like, yeah, I know this one.

Fast and the Furious. like Dom's sister like like oh yeah oh yeah she's like the main cop and it's like yeah it was it was fun but it like it felt so weird being in a movie that often because it's like I haven't done it in so long you are just like well but then like I felt the way okay so we sit down and there's like these like again everyone looks young to me right so I'm like I just call them 12 year olds right They were probably like 17 or whatever. And I was like, I swear. And as a joke to Kara, I went, like, if they start talking, I'll just throw popcorn at them. You know what I mean? It wasn't like five minutes in the movie, and they're just like, ee-hee-hee-hee.

And I was like, and she's like, can I do it? And I was like, well, I was joking when I said it, but I was like, it's getting really old. And then there's another group of them right behind us. And it's like, this isn't a serious movie. But there I was feeling 60. God damn, old man Clemens. Get off my yard! Get off my yard. Go on, get. Go on, get. Or as our buddy Wade would say, scram. You know what I mean? Like, I was so annoyed. Look, kids, if you're not going to take it serious, then you don't need to be here. Yeah, you're missing the plot. You know, this isn't porn where you're just here for, you know, the pictures.

You're old as shit. I'm not going to lie, fellas. I got to pee. Well, I was just talking about how, like, how old I feel. Like, I, like, you know, which I could talk about that about literally any subject. I could say how old I feel. But when you used to be those kids, and I will also say, as much as I've been in movie theaters, no one has made me feel old. Like, I've never had, I literally, as a joke, DeCara was like, hey, if they get rowdy, you know what I mean? And then they literally were those girls who were, like, laughing and everything on their phones, talking, and, like, talking full volume.

And I was, like, this close to being like, guys, we're trying to enjoy this shitty B-level comedy. Can you not right now? This is serious business. I want to date with my daughter right now. We just paid $70 to get in this fucking place. Dude. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. It's going to be getting old man Clemens about the money. Like, I just, like, constantly, like. Dude, it's so expensive. It's so bad. I mean. That's why you got to go on Tuesdays. It's cheaper. Is that the night? It's way cheaper on Tuesdays. Yeah, $5. I think they raise it to $6. And even the concessions are cheaper.

Right. Yeah, it's way. I mean, you save at least half, if not more. Do we need to take a road podcast to the movies? I would do that. I don't know if we're supposed to talk in there, but I think that's what I'm bitching about right now. I don't think we do it while we're doing that, but we can film our... Going to the movies. We could. What do we think about effort? I don't know. See, I'm not a Marvel guy, though. I know I am. I could give two shits about that. Yeah. It's my Star Wars. Like, I never watched Star Wars. I never liked Star Wars either. Yeah, it's just... But I liked comics as a kid.

Yeah. I was not a huge comic book nerd, per se. But, like, my stepdad owned a card shop. And I got really into, like, collecting Marvel cards. Yeah. And so, like. Boy, should we pick at that straw a little bit? A stepdad that owns a comic book? It was the shit. I mean, don't get me wrong. Right? It was awesome. But, like, I feel bad for the guy because that market was, like, so big. And then it just went. And no one cared anymore. And everyone went out of business. Everyone lost their ass. Now it's huge. Yeah. And so it's, like, they literally just had, like. if you just stuck with it for about 20 years or you put all your shit in storage i don't know like maybe all right but yeah by the way he did i mean he still has he's good you know i mean yeah no it's great but it's a comeback story yeah but a lot of people like were you a comic book nerd i'm like no i was a card nerd but on the cards it would be like tell all their powers and all the stuff so it would be that you were like that kind of i was that then it got me into like reading some of the comics and i thought you meant cards like baseball cards no that too yeah like i have 400 Andre Dawson cards all different. I still have them.

He's my favorite. The Hawk. I got him and my favorites were him. Muggsy Bogues in NBA. Because he was the short guy. I liked Kirby Puckett a lot too. Of course. Cecil Fielder. It's weird. It's like short fat guys. I don't know where I get it. Right?

Should have went for guys with big red beards, too. That's the thing now. I know. Ooh, speaking of big red beards, I guess I should save this for another, but yeah, we're going to see Teddy Swims in July. Yeah, and where are you going? Chicago? Wrigley? Is that Wrigley? No. Oh, the United States? Erik, where is it? I don't remember. It's the Amphitheater that's out by the lake. by uh um oh like michigan okay yeah yeah the marina marina down there yeah i know i can't remember either i'm pretty excited though like i love a good i haven't been to a concert a long time i love you so i'm not into a miss like i don't need to be at live music kind of like some people are like i live for live music like See, yeah.

I like it. I love going to a concert. Live music, I like it sometimes, but sometimes it's just shitty music in a bar. Well, that and, like, if I'm going to a concert, it's, like, got to be, like, a top ten person. Otherwise, I mean, I'll still go, but I don't, it's not going to, like, make me lose my mind. See, I've always enjoyed it when I go to a, like, when I go to an actual, like, venue. Yeah. I mean, whatever. But a few years ago, during the pandemic, I remember Ashley and I were like, you know what? We miss going to concerts. We wouldn't go a lot. You know, we don't go a ton. You know, some people go whenever they can.

We might go to one or two a year. But I remember during the pandemic, we were talking about it, and you couldn't go anywhere. You couldn't do any of that stuff. And I was like, what are we going to do when it opens back up? I remember Ashley goes, let's go to concerts. And, like, let's actually spend the money. Let's get a good seat. Let's pick a couple that we're going to go see. you know and let's go like all out you know i mean like go see it but go get like really good seats you know i mean so we're not just in the back so we ended up seeing um billy joel in vegas oh damn it was amazing he puts he puts on an amazing show we're at the the football stadium the light energy football stadium yeah and it was it just opened the team hadn't even played yet.

You know what I mean? But that stadium opened and then he performed there. So we got to see that. And we saw Elton John. Also in Vegas? No. We saw Elton John in Jesus, where did we see Elton John? Kansas City. I'm just guessing. No, somewhere around here. I won't know.

But we had seats right next. He literally walked out next to us. Holy shit. Yeah, like we paid full top dollar for it. Damn. But it was awesome. And it was his last tour, right? So he's done. Yeah, that's a monumental. So it was one of those things where we did it. Well, we had the tickets actually before COVID. Then they canceled it for COVID, or they put it on pause. I mean, you could take your money back, or you could hold on to your tickets, and they were going to do it again. So we held on to him and came all the way through. And, dude, it was one of the best things I've ever seen. Like he went through all his stuff.

Like, you know, just like some guy who's got that many hits and that many stories. And the best part about Billy Joel, sorry, bounce around a little bit. Every song before Billy Joel sings it, he gives you the year that he did it and what was going on in his life. Oh, shit. Where it ranked in the stuff. So he's like, I wrote this when I was blah, blah, blah. You know what I mean? Like, he takes you back to that time and then plays the song and you're like, you betcha, baby. 82. 82, what was going on? You know, like it was great. Like it was, he's a great storyteller. They both are. You know what I mean?

82, I was just a glimmer in my daddy's nutsack. I don't know. I can't remember how they call it, but I wasn't born yet. I think the glimmer's in the eye, but then you were still swimming as nutsack. Well, the more important thing is I was in the nutsack still. So, yeah, I was not. I was fully out. I know you were. I was my own person. This was just another way I get to call you old. Yeah, I don't know.

Suck it. He's just pissed that you got iced. Sorry. You're right. You're right. And I can never bring you a gift now because you're going to know it's an ice. Yeah, but then don't you just do the, I know what this is. And then you have to fucking take it anyways, right? I mean, there's no like. But that was on the last podcast, not this one. Yeah. I mean, technically we drank one on this one too. We did. That's all right. Yeah. It was fun. You want to do it again? It's important people know that you get iced. Yeah. Everyone already always knows that I'm getting iced. This is your kind of thing.

But this is also I reap what I sow, and I understand that. All right. So next time, though, let's talk about a little booze. We need a better drink. I got an idea for another drink. I have an idea for one, too. You got one? Yeah, I have an idea for one that I heard about. All right. I definitely have something I'm bringing you. I'm going to put it on you. Perfect. And I'm calling it out. I might bring a couple. Even if it's ice, I'll chug that baby down with a smile on my face. You will. You will chug down what I bring you. With a smile on your face. And then you'll say, mmm, what a lovely tea party.

Thank you, sir. May I have another? I think it's about time for our famous dad joke, is it? I think so. You already have one? Yep. Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

I feel like I should know this. Yeah, I know. Okay. Because they're extinct. Oh, seriously? Oh, you're just a fucking... Jesus Christ. I was way... Oh, man. It just makes me miss. Yeah, I almost said something really inappropriate. I'm not going to. Yeah. Anyway. Your brain works. The minute somebody says something, it just shuts up. I got no... Oh, no. I've never... Mine just sparks things. It's like constantly firing. It's exhausting. Yeah. Because I have a joke like that. But it's... I'll just say it. Go ahead. Well, I basically have already spoiled it, but it's like, why doesn't Paul Walker like donuts?

Because he's dead. It's so stupid, but it's like you don't think to go that simple, you know what I mean? Or you don't necessarily laugh about dying. Exactly. That's the dark side of the dead. Yeah, and I have lots of those. That's why we're going to read them from the internet.

All right, until next time. All right. See you guys.