We're Still Cool, Right?
Ep. 911:19:21

The Fast Food Bracket

The guys put 64 fast-food chains into a bracket—and when Firehouse Subs and Quiznos tied, they called friends and family live on air to break it.

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Quotes from this episode

Only three things make my sack shimmy. My wife. Benz Beverage Depot. And Mike.
LoganEp. 91 @ 00:13:32
When you want to cut your arm off for a ladle of soup, that is where you go as Panera.
Ep. 91 @ 00:51:39
You know where I feel the most hated? Fucking Arby's.
Ep. 91 @ 01:14:40
I could have been president if people didn't look into my past.
Ep. 91 @ 01:16:00

Dad joke

Vote on every joke →

Why did the burger go to the gym? To get better buns.

Dad jokeErikEp. 91 @ 01:17:56Logan guessed it.

Bracket episode

The Fast Food Bracket

32 fast food spots, every matchup and who moved on. Results stay hidden until you reveal them, so it won't spoil the episode.

See the bracket →

The conversation continues on Patreon

You Picked the Wrong Podcast, Bub!

This conversation is pure empty calories. We will not solve anything, we will not make the world better.

Patrons get the full transcript.

See the after-show → Patrons: listen on Spotify

Show notes

The guys put 64 fast-food chains into a bracket—and when Firehouse Subs and Quiznos tied, they called friends and family live on air to break it. The debate gets personal, with plenty of surprising picks and questionable bracket choices. Erik mixes up a fancy whiskey sour with egg white, the crew argues over whether Little Caesars has improved, and Mike defends the original Burger King chicken sandwich like it’s a matter of honor. It’s a hungry, highly opinionated tour of comfort food, nostalgia, and fast-food rivalries. Welcome to "We’re Still Cool, Right?”

Bullet Points

- Making and tasting a traditional whiskey sour with egg white.

- Sharing a parenting tip for answering children’s difficult questions.

- Comparing fast-food chains in a 64-team bracket, including burgers, pizza, sandwiches, and other foods.

- Debating favorites such as Chick-fil-A, Culver’s, Pizza Hut, Jersey Mike’s, Taco John’s, and Arby’s.

- Discussing fast-food quality, value, menu variety, nostalgia, and customer service.

- Promoting a podcast website featuring episodes, cocktail recipes, and brackets.

- Sharing a food-themed dad joke.

Timestamps

**Opening banter and episode setup (00:00:04)**

The hosts joke about their introductions, explain they’re recording an extra episode before a trip to Mexico, and preview a packed show.

**Drink of the week: traditional whiskey sour (00:01:55)**

Erik makes a whiskey sour with bourbon, lemon juice, demerara syrup, and egg white; the hosts taste it and discuss cocktails.

**Fast-food bracket rules and setup (00:07:39)**

The hosts introduce a 64-entry fast-food bracket, explain its categories and ground rules, and clarify that choices are personal.

**Burger bracket: McDonald’s, Burger King, Chick-fil-A, and others (00:14:57)**

The hosts compare burger chains, debating favorites including Wendy’s, Five Guys, Culver’s, Freddy’s, and McDonald’s.

**Pizza bracket: major chains (00:30:02)**

The hosts compare Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Little Caesars, Casey’s, Godfather’s, and Papa John’s, with a tiebreaking vote from Ashley.

**Sandwich and sub bracket (00:41:45)**

The hosts compare Subway, Jersey Mike’s, Firehouse Subs, Quiznos, Capriotti’s, Jimmy John’s, and Panera, sometimes calling friends and family to break ties.

**Miscellaneous fast-food bracket (00:54:17)**

The hosts debate Taco Bell, Taco John’s, Chipotle, Pancheros, Arby’s, Dairy Queen, Panda Express, and Long John Silver’s.

**Final Four and fast-food champion (01:06:10)**

Chick-fil-A, Papa John’s, Jersey Mike’s, and Arby’s reach the Final Four; Jersey Mike’s advances before Chick-fil-A wins the bracket.

**Website plug and future bracket tracking (01:16:28)**

The hosts invite listeners to make their own brackets, promote the podcast website, and discuss adding past brackets online.

**Dad joke and closing banter (01:17:40)**

Erik shares a burger-and-gym dad joke, the hosts trade jokes and compliments, and the episode wraps up.

The views and opinions expressed in this program are those of its hosts, guests, and contributors and do not necessarily reflect those of Upload Media Group. Production by Upload Media Group does not imply endorsement of the content.

Transcript

Tap a timestamp to listen from there

Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

00:00:00
Welcome to We're Still Cool, Right? The weekly podcast where the conversation flows smoother than top-shelf whiskey. And cool, well, it never really left. Grab a drink and hang out with Erik, Mike, and Shaun while they dive into nostalgia and attempt to answer the age-old question. We're still cool, right?
00:00:30
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba! I don't know what the fuck to say. Hey! I had five minutes and that's all I could come up with. That was good. I liked that. We gave him too much time. You did. I had like five and I was like, I can't pick, I'm just doing this. And you don't even really know the topic, just kind of, maybe? Exactly. Everyone's like, why did he say that? I don't know, because I don't know what the fuck we're talking about tonight. It'd be really funny if he just goes on a different direction and we have no idea. I was like, alright, we're talking about cars. I'd be like, oh shit. You could still love that, dude.
00:01:02
Yeah. I mean, I think what you pinched was pretty sad. The GT500. The GT500. Anyway. Yeah. Hey, we're back for another one. We are back, and it is, I say we just get out in front of it. It's the second episode. It's the second episode. Yep. We haven't done one in a while. I know it's been a minute. Why the fuck are we doing a second episode?
00:01:22
Mexico. Mexico. Do you need me? Because we're fucking going on a trip. Mexico. Because your boys are going on a trip. Avocados from Mexico. We may be missing a week because you boys might be having a little fun. Yeah. So we're doing two. So we're having fun tonight. Yep. That being said. And from what I hear, this is going to be like a beefy episode. There's a lot to shove in here. You guys should get going. It's like a beefy gordita crunch, as they say. It actually is. I'm not the one that said it. All right, let's get this drink out of the way. We're going to jump in because, yeah. the drink of the week brought to you by Benz Beverage Depot 501 7th ave beautiful white building gorgeous uh we made a fancy fucking cocktail gentlemen because yes you did fucking fancy as shit uh so it's you know i was like you know doing this website thing and looking at all the drinks and i'm like claude what drinks haven't we made like what classic cocktails have we not made we've made them all we've made a whiskey sour before but we've never made a traditional whiskey sour. Yes.
00:02:21
This is legit traditional with egg whites. That's how you get the foam. Tell us about it. It's an ounce and a half of bourbon, your favorite bourbon, three quarters of an ounce of lemon juice, half an ounce of Demerara syrup, half an ounce of egg white, dry shake, wet shake, double strain, drink up. So many snaps, bro. It's really not. like the it's the dry you need the cool ass fucking glass that we're drinking on this so yeah well you gotta have something nice to show the foam i know you realize that we had did an episode earlier and i made vodka and grape juice and you have 18 layers but sean this is what we do we as in me and you sean and i are three ingredients or less kind of guys you guys can't see it on the video but there is a garnish i did a couple like few drops of uh angostura bitters just those are bitters i'm gonna get a picture that way every once in a while you get a drink of it and you get a little bit of bitter it looks like a discolored money shot but i'm all here uh the guy that made this so i've never made these before i did it right the first time on video so this is our first one yeah so we're rolling with egg whites whipped yeah for your first first time i've ever made yeah yeah so we make it don't blame me if you guys are puking jesus christ hear that actually it wasn't because i had too much to drink it's because i had egg whites so uh the guy that made him though he made a fancy like like hearts with the little angostura bitters i was like sorry you guys don't get that i got one two seven all right i haven't had it yet
00:03:58
all right let's taste it cheers cheers cheers brother careful these will break oh no it's really good there's something about like i've never had one and there's something about knowing there's egg white in it that kind of is like god i hope this isn't like off-putting but the foam like i don't know it's really good why is it good i know like who the fuck decided they had to do that because it's so good it's one of those drinks where you're like yeah who made this up and what were they thinking like i remember ashley and i going out fancy place having one of those she's like i'm just not sure about the fucking whipped egg you know like the whipped egg white you know and then we had so it's good it's the first time i had one I watched somebody make it and I'm like, it's so fucking good.
00:04:45
I had a buddy tell me that. He's like, you only know it's a good bar if they actually put egg whites in the whiskey sours. And I was like, okay. But I was also like, that sounds kind of pretentious. Yeah. It is, but it also isn't. Because it's kind of like most places be like, we ain't doing that. Here's what you can't do. You got to commit to it. You teach people how to do it. That's just read the book and you don't know how to do it. It's kind of like, we either teach you how to be bartenders here, we have the correct setup for it, we don't. But here's what you don't do. Don't walk in your local hole-in-the-wall bar and expect this because you're an asshole if you do. They don't have time for this. This isn't their thing. You go to a fancy bar with a fancy cocktails, they will make you this. But I will say if you see it on the menu and you're a little guarded about it, I would urge you to lean in and do it because they probably know what they're doing.
00:05:34
That's why it's not on every fucking hole-in-the-wall bar. I can definitely tell you that they don't pre-batch cocktails with egg whites no no yeah they're making that and even ashley said one of the restaurants we're at she's like said it and the waitress is like just do it you're gonna be okay you know what i mean she's like yes you know the hardest part about drinking this is sipping on it because part of me i just want to go wow and just down the fucking thing it's kind of like custardy like it's like yeah it's got it's a good that's a very good way to describe it. Mouthfeel is great. I don't know if they'll have these in Mexico, but if they do, I'm going to be shooting them.
00:06:12
I guarantee if they have those in Mexico, you're not getting those for free. Those aren't on the plan, brother. Hey, I'm on vacation. I don't care. Charge it to the game. That's what I say. I thought this was all inclusive. I hear him checking out. No habla espanol. What do you thought? I did not order porn. What are you talking about? How do you say free in Spanish? Is it free? Frio? I don't know. Anyway, yeah. No, that's cold. Oh, frio? Okay, fair. Shaun, should we get into this? You got to know that one. Frio cerveza por favor. Oh. Cold beer, please. Oh, I'm like, I know cerveza por favor. That's all I need to go.
00:06:51
Do cerveza por favor. Yeah. That's all you need to know. And then keep them coming. Yeah. And that is, you give them a 50. I was just going to say 50 to start the day, and the rest of the day is awesome. in Spanish free is gratis gratis or gratuito gratuito? oh like gratuity see it's funny how everything matches in a weird way because it's all based on Latin yeah gratis is no cost or libre which is unrestricted or available okay I should probably brush up on my Spanish before I go you probably shouldn't no it's fine we're at 18 seconds it's fine just just remember we're five minutes further than what it says guys sean's been drinking i don't know what else to say yep that being said we are doing a bracket yeah podcast that's why we like to do brackets we like to do that when your boys are going to go miss a week and go out and have some fun my favorite thing about these sometimes is that i just have no idea i just walk into it i'm like yeah i know there's a bracket well that is actually little behind the scenes, little high level backroom baseball is that one of us picks it and then you just roll with it.
00:08:05
Yeah, well you don't usually tell the other person. You get nothing more than I got a bracket and you'll put it together. And you're at the mercy of whatever they put together and if you don't like what we put together then fucking go get your own podcast. You go get your own. Sometimes the boys sit down and go sex toys and they go fuck me, this sucks.
00:08:23
I only know one. Do you want the rabbit or the dolphin? why do you know 64 mike you crazy son of a bitch i spent a lot of time online and parents growing up with that being said i want to see your amazon suggested no you don't no you don't sometimes that's for grown-ups and you're not even ceasers or like um i learned the best thing ever for when your kids ask a question that you're not all right so jump in a little parody advice that I heard is awesome. When your kids ask a question, you're like, Oh, should I tell them the truth? Like, do I really do this? Um, friends of ours, she's a school psychologist and she said with her kid, she says, I'll tell you, but you have to understand once I tell you, I can't untell you. Oh yeah. So are you sure you want to know? It's such good advice.
00:09:17
It is such great advice. So if you get hit with that, like, you know, you want to peek behind the curtain, you really want to know. I don't want to lie to you and I'm not trying to do that. but once I tell you, I can't untell you. Yeah. And we've used that with our kids since we heard that, and it's amazing. Like, sometimes, like, when they're a little, I'm like, eh, I don't want to know. Yeah. Now they're always like, I definitely want to know. And then they're like, oh, God. I'm like, well, I told you. No. Sorry to warn you. Whatever. That being said, we were doing a bracket, and we got a big bracket.
00:09:44
Okay. We're going 64. That might be the biggest bracket. Full NCAA tournament. Have we done a 32-32 before? I don't know. I can't remember. And the reason why we're doing it, because we're doing fast food challenge. All right. Okay. So I was right. He said it was something around food. That's why I went with the McDonald's thing. Okay. So it's around food. But I did, what I did is I broke it out into, and, you know, and think about your NCAA basketball tournament, right? You got your, you got, you know, the East, the West, you got your different brackets here for it. So I broke them into your traditional kind of burger places, pizza, um subs or sandwiches okay and then kind of a miscellaneous so that that is the four sections so these are the four tacos are together okay all right and so then when we get to the final four i want you to think a little more like okay if this is all i had left to eat what what i do yeah go on an island and you get one option yeah yeah i tried to go as much everything is i tried to stay with what is around us in iowa midwest midwest rapids um and non-local because i want other people to hear this to vote in on it so clearly there's better places than they're on here you know i mean so i don't want to necessarily hear that you know i thought that there's still a bracket to be done on chain restaurants of like a sit-down place yeah there's some that maybe blur
00:11:17
the line but like i said i put the back together so go fuck yourself jack in the box yeah yeah i am kind of disappointed there's going to be some like obscure fast food places that i kind of wish were on here well i do i know but i just didn't know like but it's no fun if one person knows it you know what i mean like you know you gotta create a criteria yeah i had to figure out like the big thing was i was just trying to go for i would figure the majority of things are on here we've all had we got an opinion about it that makes sense yeah i mean as opposed to not just like anything else, we will allow Logan to be part of some of these.
00:11:51
Thank you so much. Oh, God. Thank God. The way that came out, I thought you were real excited about me. I'm actually a little nervous because he's just looking trim and fit. Just been on it. Everything you say is going to be like, trash, I don't want to open a door for him to be like, oh, man. Remember how much I used to love that. No one wants fast food more than me right now.
00:12:15
There's 64 on here, bro. So I'm worried that maybe we need to be here. If you don't even get Wendy's, it'll be impressive. Or wherever. I'm just thinking of what's close by. Yeah, it wouldn't be Wendy's. Get that shit out of here. Something tells me we're going to find out. I was saying. I was thinking of what's close by, but whatever. So again. If you start hearing me moaning over here, you'll know. So while I'm saying. So while I do have them broken into categories, you don't have to pick just because I say one's kind of like a burger place or whatever. Doesn't mean you have. You pick your own fast food, whatever this restaurant, whatever they have is up to you.
00:12:50
If you love their chicken nuggets, cool. You like their – it doesn't matter. Whatever you – Okay. Down with it? Yeah, let's get it. We got to get right into it because we got 64, baby. We do. Last quick question. This is important to me. Okay. Are we talking about like personal or are we talking about like what we think is the best? Personal. This is all a personal bracket. This is like – How do you feel about it? Filling out your own basketball bracket that you think is going to happen. That's what I want. I don't have to care a lot about legacy and cultural impact. What makes your sack shimmy in your pants?
00:13:22
All you. The only time you should go cultural or anything like that is if you have never had it. Then you can use that. Otherwise, it should be 100%. Yeah, that's fair. Only three things make my sack shimmy. My wife. Okay. Benz Beverage Depot. Okay. 501-7-1. And Mike. yes yeah yeah we did it by the way he says that to every podcast he's producing so whatever yeah i'm such a podcast whore you really are i mean you really are but i'm pretty sure he means it with us yeah who else keep telling yourself who else would give him that opportunity to be like okay what makes your nuts tingle i don't think he does another podcast does that but anyway one final question before we get started really brief yeah runs is not on there is it you guys you probably never even heard no what is it around i've never even heard of why you make it shit up Runza it's in Nebraska. Do you know what run fast food restaurant?
00:14:12
You know what runs is are I get the runs from fast food This is why it's so fucking funny is the name of the restaurant is called runza because runs is an actual food Kara's family makes those every year like in the holiday. There's a fast food But it's like a sandwich. Yeah, well like it's like a meat stuffed hot pocket kind of type thing No, it's it comes from what am I wrong? Look it up. It comes from the best food place. It comes from the fast food place. That's why they are guessing hold on it didn't start with like heritage it started at a faster place like guys we adopted this because runs it's the first thing i thought of when you said that it's all midwest i was like fuck we're gonna miss i didn't know there was a place like that anyway go ahead it's on the list and we have 64 to get through let's go let's go we're just coming out right out of the gate mcdonald's versus hardy's hardy's oh i think mcdonald's is so overrated but that personal opinion. Personal opinion.
00:15:08
By the way, ask me the last time I ate at a Hardee's. It's been a long time. Same with McDonald's. You can't. You cannot. I was like, Hardee's is great. Have you actually had it in the last five years? McDonald's can't lose this early. McDonald's is terrible. I think it's trash. BK and Wendy's. People would stop listening if we voted McDonald's off in the very first one. I don't do it for the people. I do it to stay true to who I am, Logan. i do it for the people yeah all right burger king and wendy's at least one of us is honest i know mine but i'll keep my mouth shut i have to go burger king oh okay ooh it's a personal thing but everything that's fucking original chicken sandwich like i can't burger king for sure easily all day all day all daily i'd kill them both but it is burger king flame bro burgers are so much better man the frosties give it like such uh such an edge it's tough to kill wendy's this somehow theirs is never out of order i will say yeah and and i'm not going too far into this but if they brought back the fucking salad bar with the tacos and all this like i would be i'd be like wendy's top of top of the list by the way hardy's used to have a and we are i will say we are going off in nowadays too i will say that so we are it's present time so whatever that means. Your wife and our class could always attest to we had a Hardee's nearby All Saints and you could walk in.
00:16:37
They called it a salad bar. It was a fix-its bar. So you could grab it and be like, oh, tomato, lettuce. You could load up on whatever you wanted. That was a long time ago, though. We also had a Burger King by there where we could smoke in. That's what we used to hang out with. Burger King wins. Just ripping, ripping. Shaun's older than me if you can't tell. They had a smoking lounge. Burger King's chicken fries are really good. So you're going We all went Burger King I think Burger King God Wendy's Nobody fucked up more than Wendy's I'm just going to say it It's BK right now They shit the bed They were the best back in high school Their fucking social media Kills it though I'll agree I give them huge points So I would have said Chick-fil-A and Five Guys chick-fil-a biased uh it's not actually i know i'm kidding i'm kidding it is but i mean i order it fucking three times a week probably so if you're looking for some easy layups we're not having them so chick-fil-a and five guys so what do you got just chick-fil-a all day yeah five guys is way too expensive they're like but they filled a bag with fries sorry it is shitty fries thank you and like the burger is it's good it's not 20 dollars really Yeah, it's not worth the price.
00:18:01
I think it's worth the price. You would. But I would vote Chick-fil-A as well. Especially right now, they have the chicken tortilla soup. Oh, what? You get soup at a fucking fast food restaurant? Go get a cup of the chicken tortilla soup and then come back. Their salad with the avocado ranch is the best fast food salad you can get anywhere. Avocado ranch is money. It's so good. I would just dip the chicken. We can have this conversation, Shaun, but not until you try it. Yeah. Okay. So good. Sounds good. I can handle that. I would believe that you'd like five guys. Don't knock until you try it. Because it just sounds funny to say that you like five guys.
00:18:39
Would you like five guys? I bet you would. Have you seen that one? Oh, jeez. Like, all at once? So many jokes. I know. I mean, I think I can handle three, but I don't know about five. Your girls suck 37 in a row? Sorry, go ahead. All right. Freddy's and Culver's. Ooh. Now that is like... You did a good job. That's really good. These are tough. Well, there ain't no fucking around because this is that small window of this that we're put together here for itself.
00:19:12
Who wants to lead? Who wants to lead it off? I'm going to say Freddy's. I'm going to say Culver's. Okay. Okay. This is tough, though. It is tough. so clover's fish sandwich is nothing to fuck with though they both have things that i'm just like man like i would go there just for those things right so what would be your favorite if you if you're going right now the reason i said freddy's is because the they have a sandwich that i always enjoy but their fucking milkshakes are i could have one every day yeah i know i can and i shouldn but i could yeah okay um like just a straight up strawberry strawberry milkshake from there i will say i think i like freddie fries better but overall it's culver's for me culver's okay how about you yeah i think it's culver's um freddie's has a great burger they've got some good things going the you know again they're they're both great but i think culver's burger is a little better i think they think the cheese curds take it for me yeah oh that's huge yeah so i'm so hungry right now and we just started hungry yeah i'm starving can we order a pizza yeah well that's the next bracket oh let's do all of these foods um so i'm gonna go culver's also and that's i mean so freddy's got beat three to one and i don't think that they deserve it but at one point in time i knew some owners of culver's
00:20:46
and they brought us a whole like imagine a to-go box like a styrofoam box full of their cheese curds and i was like this is the greatest thing ever so i i mean i went on instinct just because like all i could think of differentiating is how much i will literally just go to freddy's for the strawberry milkshake yeah that's and culver's and culver's like both of them i feel like their food is in the same ballpark like i enjoy it the same so they're definitely i was looking for something together for like by the way if you can't tell i kind of seek these boys up for that was smart like they're that was a good one they're very similar like on the same thing when i pull up like every time you say two options i act like i'm driving up one's on this side one's on this side there's no traffic i can go right and get anything i want yep and that's why i was like And then they'll say, hey, beautiful, what would you like today?
00:21:39
I know. I know. They're fluffing my balls and everything. They're like, you want me? I want to finish your cheese balls. We're going to finish a bracket at a time. We're going to get to the final four, like, off of, and then we'll go to the next one. So McDonald's versus Burger King.
00:21:54
McDonald's. Burger King. Oh, now. I'm not on the show. Hold on. Now are we deep enough that McDonald's can't lose this fast. I'm going McDonald's. So you, there you go. I would also say McDonald's. You guys are trash. What was it on Burger King? Yeah. Burger King can suck my dick. Oh, wow. Are you trying to get us canceled? Burger King's the worst. What are you talking? When was the last time you had it? When was the last time you had it? Not that long ago. I know. That's how good it is. Shut up, really? Like probably three months ago. What's your go-to order? I had a Whopper Junior. I went like a Whopper Junior.
00:22:35
Dude, it's just the burgers. The flame broiled. Fuck that. The Walker Jr. has a little ass patty. It's just full of fucking fluff and bullshit. What burger at McDonald's are you eating that? It's a big patty. I would love to know that. A cheeseburger is a hockey puck cut in half. Maybe. I get the big doubles. Yeah. Double quarter pounder with cheese. Yeah. That's what I'm fucking hungover. You've got to get multiple burgers because they are terrible. That thing will save a hangover. Oh, my God. you guys are actually the fries is the big thing to me I don't like McDonald's fries I think they're overrated they're better than Burger King's cardboard pieces of crap I agree but I think everything else in the menu is better I really do I disagree but after our live when I was fucking hungover and Ashley had to drop me off at my truck I was on the way home and there's a new McDonald's on like 32nd I fucking pulled right in the stupidest place ever it fucking worked for it was like a god sent for me i ate that on the way home got home took shit it was like a homing beacon for sean i was like oh sorry i would be really disappointed though if i could never have the original chicken sandwich again like that is just it's like a guilty pleasure and it's so good it's like that i know a couple people in the restaurant industry that are like they feel the same way oh i know sandwich. By the way, they're also the fucking people that like Malort.
00:24:02
This is true. But yeah, it's mostly kitchen people and people that like own restaurants are like, there's something about that sandwich. I really hate Burger King. I can't tell. Chick-fil-A Culver's. Chick-fil-A. It's easy. I answer fast every time, so I'm trying to be quiet. Chick-fil-A is S tier for me, so it's going to go a ways. What the fuck is S tier actually mean? What is S? It's like above A. super it's the best is it super i mean what does s stand for i don't know what s stands for but it's the best i know it's weird because i always think of like grades in school i'm like well what's better than a the fuck is s i don't know the origin of it we just use fucking a b c we have to fucking change it up all right uh s tier comes from japanese academic grading and professional sports where the letter s represents a grade or class above a for exemplary performance yeah Fucking bullshit John's un-American to me Chick-fil-A I'm gonna go Culver's Good for you What a fucking dick We're so proud of you Look at this big boy You learned to walk Yeah I don't know what to say after that one Shaun you're on your own Good for you. What a dick.
00:25:27
That was great. I think in a world where you could eat whatever you wanted and not have any consequences, I would pick Culver's. But I don't live in that world. I live in the real world, and I think it's Chick-fil-A. It's Chick-fil-A. And also that soup, guys. Yeah, apparently we're all eating soup tomorrow. Is the soup diet friendly? Have you just had it recently? like this is like is this one of your no no no is this one of your keys to your success right now if we're recording next week i'll see if i can get a samples because the soup is a i got a connection i have been eating it every year for the past couple of years it's my favorite thing on their menu yeah and it makes me want to believe in love again can i uh jesus christ you don't believe in love let me talk to you all right i do during chicken tortilla season okay but here here's what pisses me off because it's today's day and age and the prices of things so for a i'm sure for a cup of it for like seven bites of soup it's like six dollars it's that good that it makes it worth it maybe more than that no it's that good okay because their salads are delicious but they're like five bites and they're expensive so but i mean they have all kinds of seasonal dishes that just do super well like there's a uh it's like a spicy pimento chicken sandwich that's marnie's favorite thing yeah i have a buddy that means oh cheese i have a buddy but i've never had that sandwich but i want to try it i do yeah my buddy ben who listens to us sometimes like he he is like
00:27:00
he texts me all the time he's like tell your son tell him to keep it on the menu all year yeah like he's got that kind of pole or something all right hey i got a few connections yo i called up the ceo i said like just to be clear the worst of cool right podcast thinks this should be on the also open on sundays bitch click all right kidding mcdonald's chick-fil-a oh fuck this is gonna get us to the final four on the i'm not even gonna talk because we know my answer i gotta hold off on this one it's tough do you want me to leave yeah i'm gonna go mcdonald's it just has nostalgia to me it just has like it just it is the ultimate fastball just the number one every time it is just the i think i'm gonna go uh chick-fil-a here okay i think the quality of the food is better there's definitely a quality like and i'll get that it's just but the fucking fry you know i mean what tips you off between whatever everything on your own spot yeah i go yeah i'm with chick-fil-a i have to say chick-fil-a too like i man i don't want to see mcdonald's go down but especially with the whole fucking like coca-cola and making a special straw and all that shit like that it still hits i get it's like i get it's iconic for america and all this stuff but like they've let it go a lot too i mean like the service has gone way down also the quality just chick-fil-a quality and efficiency fucking beat chick-fil-a's service and sometimes i feel like they over service you that you believe that their quality is better
00:28:33
but you know that they get they get like hammered if they don't say my pleasure my by the way have you ever done it back to them where you say they say my pleasure and you go my pleasure and then they go oh it's my pleasure and i go it's my pleasure i got into it one time with logan in the car and i think we did it three times back and he goes dad knock it off and i so i just took off but if you see my son there you should do it oh if i did if i saw him i would never let it go i would i'd sit there for 45 minutes doing he would eventually like very quietly under his breath tell you to fuck off i know i know and i would appreciate that talk about that like the um geez what's the the podcast i'm thinking of with we are garbage or or no i don't know but the other thing with the i i just they're your mom's house jesus christ well there he started saying where he say i love you oh yeah i'm like blah blah they're like i love you my pleasure yeah i really love you yeah here we go god damn right it is all right moving on to the next bracket which is going to be so that's our that's our final So the final four is Chick-fil-A for the quote-unquote kind of burger.
00:29:48
Burger slash. But no, that makes sense. It's more like your traditional. Yeah, sandwich. You can poke holes in everything I do. All right, pizza. Oh, we will. Yep. Yeah, you will. Only your condoms. Go ahead. All right, pizza. So this is maybe not fast food in the way that you would think about it. Because we were talking about getting a pizza. Neat Pizza around the corner has a specialty pizza every week. their specialty pizza this week is chicago dog chicago dog yeah by the way i got excited because my favorite pizza from them is the sriracha blt and i just had this feeling you were going to say it's like well i'm going to order a large right now to go but so what are you guys doing after this podcast i have to go home all right go ahead we got we got 64 to go all right um pizza hut versus Domino's.
00:30:37
Again, I know need pizza is amazing downstairs, but that is not on this. If it was, it went all day. I know, but that's not. I got to say Pizza Hut. Fuck, I don't know. Domino's, but it's not a pizza thing. They're sandwiches, man. That's okay. I said it can be whatever you want. You can judge it on your own thing because pizza has plenty of the fucking random things, too. here's why I'm going to say what I say nostalgia Pizza Hut is my favorite thing in the world I've hated it for years but my favorite pizza is a supreme pizza Domino's for that sucks I think Domino's is just so overrated on a lot of levels and Pizza Hut is not my favorite but Pizza Hut over Domino's my biggest thing is Domino's pizza is just not great in general we made it way better I'm like I don't think it's I think they did make it a little bit better.
00:31:33
I will say my favorite ones, give me a thin crust pepperoni pizza because it is so straight, doesn't droop at all.
00:31:46
Or a Philly cheesesteak from Domino's. Those are my two because Domino's is a great Philly. Yeah, I'll give it that. So that's where I go to. If you want me, I will say pizza. I'd love the thin. It used to be down. Logan, do you disagree with Pizza Hut? No, I'm pro Pizza Hut as well. I think the pizza is a little better. I think the crust is better. I think the Pizza Hut near my house is really good. The breadsticks. Mavroad? Yeah. I don't know why it's better. It's OG. It's OG. They still care. You know the pop and refuse right there? Is it still there? Yeah. Yeah, it's right next to me. No, it's right over the street from me.
00:32:33
It's not the same. It's just, yeah. I think it's right behind there. Anyway, yeah, really good. I love that place. Little Caesars, Sbarro's. You put Sbarro on there. Fuck both of those. Can I say no to both of them? Hey, man. No. Little Caesars should have been against Domino's. I'm recently, like, I was a hater so hard. I don't think you know what you don't know. I was a huge hater of Little Caesars till recently. because I hadn't ordered there in years because it was so bad. Little Caesars. I will say Little Caesars, but this is a anything but Sbarro's type of vote. That pizza is fucking trash.
00:33:15
Do you like Sbarro? No, it's fucking terrible. Logan, what do you like? It's like a grease pile of shit. It was so good at the mall back in the day. It never was. As bad as whatever he's saying. Thank you. But the answer is Little Caesars. Every time it looked so good, it smelled so good, you go up and eat it, and it's a fucking grease pile on your plate. Yeah, bro, but it was $5 for a piece of pizza the size of your face. It's so bad. You're not paying for $5. Remember, back in the day, it was $5 for two of those things. Two, yeah. You were like, I'm going to get dinner and breakfast. All right, Marcos.
00:33:48
They're gone. Well, by the way, Marcos was amazing. Kira turned me on to it when we started dating. It's also North Liberty. they they got rid of all them in iowa oh like as of a few months ago qualified anyway they're by the way we're riding it now they were so good they were and casey's oh casey's casey's i guess i mean it's not because they're gone i i've only had marcos a few times it was good i would generally say it was better but like casey's is is uh it's gonna be up there it's It's not S tier, but it's not only just the breakfast pizza, like depending on what always I agreed. But like they actually like their specialty pizzas and like the things that I think they're good on fucking Friday night, Friday night.
00:34:36
We played darts and Julie's doing like gluten free shit. Oh, they have a gluten free crust. And I was like, this is going to be fucking terrible. It was good. Fucking Casey's gluten free crust is like a thin crust pizza and it was decent. Like I'm not. It's not like I want it every time. No, but like for a thin crust. crust it just tasted like to adhere to someone who needs it like and i'm like this is gas station pizza yeah it's no way it's a restaurant that serves gas yeah it's fair all right i'm not saying it's the best pizza out there i'm just saying god none of these are the best pizza out here like everybody's got their own local spot or whatever yeah um papa john's and godfathers papa john's i gotta and i like that but my father's had his special place for me on like the the the buffet back in the day we used to order god they used to have some deal and we knew somebody that worked there like if you would order it and you didn't pick it up they got to take it home so it'd be like 11 30 and we'd order it and then we just went pick it up and then he just just bring it home to us that was the move i had that with yeah the pizza hut i'm over the road a guy that worked there he's like oh guys that we messed this one up here we go yeah meet me out back we'd take it yeah so we got a papa john's papa john's i'm gonna say papa john's but godfather's holds a special place and it's not because they're the inventor but they were one
00:36:08
of the first ones doing taco pizzas yeah sure yeah happy joe's technically is the inventor i looked it up just to be sure by the way i think i think all happy joes are gone in iowa they're not might be well i don't know there's not in cedar rapids anymore no i don't think they are and actually i think they're still in a a midwest favorite i just don't think they're but so but like for me taco pizza holds a special place in my heart i love taco pizza i don't disagree we have out by us we have pizza like at the gas or we have godfather at the gas station that's good But see I disagree Really? They were great There's still several Happy Joes around Not in Cedar Rapids Godfathers wasn't the same once they hit the gas There's one Godfathers in town But I think that's the only one The one in the Town and Country Center The OG That's probably the best one you're going to get Pizza Hut, Little Caesars Pizza Hut Look at these Here you go Fuck Breadsticks Really?
00:37:10
i know i know how this sounds but you gotta understand i hated it for years it's okay tried it the other day they've revamped their menu i honestly i by the way i think pizza huts breadsticks suck i hate that much seasoning on my breadsticks yeah i'm weird i don't want them all the time i'm gonna go little caesars what's funny is my favorite little caesars i know he's going pizza you're the host dude come on i'm gonna go i'm supposed to be last i'm gonna go Little Caesars. Whoa. I could tell you were going Pizza Hut. I'm going to go Pizza Hut. Yeah. So it's finally time. Hey, we made it deeper and I thought while Shaun's getting that though, the breadsticks Pizza Hut see overseas and breadsticks. Yeah. Papa John's like completely unseasoned breadsticks. I love them. But you got to have the nacho cheese sauce to dip it. It's not nacho cheese. It's just it's just cheese sauce. But it's got a slight kick to it. I call it my favorite thing about papa john's is the cheese sauce i order i order that instead of all the butter like just cheese yeah yeah the garlic sauce dude it's i could drink those cheese cups but the cheese cups man me and kara got a works pizza ashley we love you so much how are you baby i'm all right how are you guys well we are in a heated debate about um kind of traditional chain pizza.
00:38:34
And we have a two-to-two tie and we need your you're the deciding factor. I know what she's picking. Okay, what you got? Do you really know? I think so. Should I tell you what I think it should be before you even give me options? Yeah, what do you want to do? What's your one seed?
00:38:55
Papa John's. Let's go! I called it! But that's not what we're talking about. I know. But I got excited Pizza Hut Versus Little Caesars Just take pizza.
00:39:13
I'm not taking all of you. I'm going Pizza Hut Every time I try to order fucking pizza You're like I don't want that shit You want like the bullshit thin crust She's right That's god damn right If you want the bullshit thin crust Get out of here Stuff crust all day Yeah, right. God. Or pan. I'm the only one. I already said it. No I love getting a thin crust so I can eat the whole thing and still not be full It great Sorry go ahead Thanks babes Thanks for crushing my spirit Actually, that's not true because I picked Little Caesars too. Love you, honey. Bye.
00:39:55
I knew it. God damn it. It's a pizza hut wins. Yep. It sucks. Rest in peace, Little Caesars. By the way, I hated them. Prior to two weeks ago. They're still hot and ready. Are they good? Nope, but they're hot and ready. I mean, they're edible.
00:40:16
Casey's, Papa John's. This is kind of a... Papa John's, I'll go first. Papa John's. Yeah, it's got to be Papa John's. I love Papa John's, man. If Papa John's made a fucking breakfast pizza and delivered it in the morning, I would be like, okay, cool. Fuck Casey's forever. Papa John's also makes a great Philly. just they do make a pizza guy so i am too pizza hut papa john's papa john's papa john's um i'm gonna say pizza only because i can't tell you last time i had papa john's i don't i couldn't i couldn't rate that's sad really that's sad this is fucking very difficult for me because right now if we're like if you're just like we're gonna order pizza as one of these two things yeah fuck on the plus side i would probably just let you eat the pizza and order the pizza and i just eat the breadsticks and the cheese sauce true i'm gonna do papa john's too which is terrible but as long as we get a little cheese bread with that i mean that's fine the cheese bread's good that's the thing the breadsticks and the cheese bread are delicious yeah that's really good all right by the way you know hold on you know what should have been on in that mix parviers but i i had it on here parviers is slept on here but but that is very Paul Revere's is very regional.
00:41:32
Yes. Extreme. It is. Cases is even bigger than. Yes. So that's why. Yes. But God, dude, I will fight for Paul Revere's. Don't give it. Yeah. Yeah. But just like we would a lot of things. I was trying to keep it a little more. I know. That's smart. All right. Now we're moving on to sandwiches or subs, if you will. Jersey Mike's for Subway.
00:41:55
Here's why I have to say this. I loved Subway for so long. I really did like like legit even now like nostalgically sometimes the kids will be like can we get Subway by the way it hasn't been in the last year but if you've had Jersey Mike's it's so fucking good it's Jersey Mike's all day it's Jersey Mike's by a mile by a mile but like Subway I used to like I used to have a thing that I ordered there and I loved it in the last three times that I went it's just dog shit yeah like the bread is dry as fuck everything got everything is worse and i'm just like fuck this i'm never going back i was just doing the snacks from the you know i will say even jersey mike's has gone downhill since they've been they've gone uh black rock being bought i mean they're wrong and that's the thing inflation boy the old regular sandwich used to fill you up a lot more than it does right now so i will just say but yes they're both victims of that we're getting fucked by the day boys because i will say back in the day when it before that got sold out they were fucking great that all the all the branch owners were always there fucking make like talk to you like it was just a different vibe but i can say i can say with jersey mike's i can still order a sandwich and like a hot uh yeah like a cheesesteak and it's fucking delicious and it's filling real quick i know we gotta keep moving but has anyone had uh is it capriottis or whatever i've never had that is it
00:43:29
good how about you let me get through my list oh it's on there never mind how about a firehouse versus quiznos firehouse firehouse fuck off really oh my god who's the last time you had quiznos uh the other day it was amazing what was last year where the fuck is a quiz where's the quiznos right next to the by third base it's fucking awesome that's the only one i know of oh i forgot it was there yeah so right there you know where the last time i had a quiz nose was in fucking illinois because that was the only place there i knew i knew where one was like i was like what's the chicken the mesquite chicken is fucking so good hold on though is that the only one in town it is the only one in okay that's crazy they used to be in every gas station every gas station oh oh and then there's blimpy it was quiz nose and limpy no blip you know every question was never i'm thinking i'm thinking of blimpy okay and i will quiz was the first hot sub which is why i put these bitches together and the thing is firehouse fucking steams their subs their subs are like kind of soggy i don't want a fucking soggy sub give me a crunchy one so crunchy aren't it like give me a i don't want it soggy i want it toasted yeah i'm gonna vote for quiz knows because we need a but i've never had firehouse subs wow uh the last mad quiz knows was probably 15 to 20 years ago hey eric do you want to win what do you got call nathan or jody no i'm kidding like they love firehouse i was like i don't know like we can call it call adam like call a random
00:45:02
person call aaron she doesn't like any of these places but has she had them that's the thing i'm gonna call adam she's had both of them we never called it's not like her first choice we should vibe code an app that just randomly calls somebody from your contact list. That's terrifying. All right, I'm going to ask Claude to do that. I have people that I don't necessarily like. Here's my business customer. Quiznos and what? Firehouse. Quiznos and Firehouse, okay.
00:45:31
Not going to fucking answer. Could have been on the podcast. People dodge my calls a lot. That's fair. I don't even know what I'm going to blame them. um okay firehouse you need to get there all right i got one um we're calling busy bro calling katon put it put it real close yeah yeah you gotta like set it on it do you have it on speaker put it on speaker yeah we have it on speaker but you're on speaker too and my wife's in the car so don't say anything bad hi sheena it's amazing because you are on the podcast both of you too you're on the podcast how do you feel about it good how are you so we are doing a bracket and we have a two-to-two tie where we need your help i hope they both so the bracket is like fast food but right now the competition is between firehouse subs and quiznos Oh, Firehouse.
00:46:29
What the fuck? Sheena, do you agree? Firehouse all day. Sheena says Quiznos. No! We got another two. Is there a kid in the car? The Smokehouse brisket at Firehouse is the best sub on the planet. I like the New York steamer. How about, Sheena, what do you think about the Mesquite chicken at Quiznos? This is where it's at. Oh, my gosh. It's so good. Their cookies are so good. Oh, all right. Burns of a feather. What are you talking to subs now? Now she's on to, like, fucking sides and shit. All right. So thank you for answering, and thank you for being a part of it, but we got to call somebody else.
00:47:16
We still got two to two. All right. Hey, Shaun, do you want us to get one of our kids involved? Yeah, what do you got? That's why I said, is there a kid in the car? Okay, hold on. I'll just patch them in. Have they had Quizzozo? Yeah. Jack has had both. Hold on. I'm getting Jack on the phone. Give me one second.
00:47:36
I'm going to laugh so hard if he doesn't answer. A side note for listeners. We don't condone patching in your children while you're typing and talking on a podcast. I think patching in just means here's the phone. Oh, I thought he meant he was calling him on three-way. No, I'm calling him on three-way. Why is that bad? Because you've got to be hands-free in Iowa. We're not. His wife's in the car. She's doing it. Yeah, she's doing it. That's right. She's doing it. They've got to be hands-free in Kansas, too. I'm not getting this show canceled.
00:48:06
We've tried so hard. You're just fucking treading water. You know this is going to happen. You might as well just lean into it. I set aside money in my savings account every time. My escape fund. Yeah. Okay, Jack. I got you patched into Uncle Shaun's podcast. They're live on the podcast right now They have a question for us. Mom and I tied, so you're the tiebreaker. Here's the question. Go ahead, Shaun. All right, buddy. If you had to pick, would you pick Firehouse subs or would you pick Quiznos?
00:48:37
Probably Firehouse. Let's go! My boy! Jack, I love you to death, bud, but you break my heart. Jack, what's your favorite? What's your favorite? What's your favorite sub, buddy? What's your favorite sub, Jack? Uh, probably like the turkey. Ooh. Turkey bacon ranch? That's mine. No, that's Jimmy John's. That's Jimmy John's. I was like, we said turkey time. End the call. End the call. End the call. End the call. The turkey one. We're good. All right, boys. Love you. All right, see ya. Bye.
00:49:15
All right, Jack makes a decision, even though he don't even know what it is. Hey, three votes later. There's multiple turkey ones at Firehouse, too. Yeah, that's true. You need to fucking have the New York steamer. It's delicious. It sounds dirty when you say it like that. It's fucking corned beef and pastrami. It's so fucking good. And I come at it like I don't like it, but I do. All right. We had a powerhouse dish. You were on the phone there where it sounded very, who wants to be a millionaire? Yeah, right. Can I phone a friend? Yeah, very much so. Capriottis versus Pepper Jacks. I've never had Capriottis.
00:49:49
I've never had Pepper Jacks. And I've never had Pepper Jacks. Time out. You've had Pepper Jack's? I've never had Pepper Jack's, and I've only had Capriati's once, and I'm not even going to count it. Holy fuck. Capistrami. I've never had either one. I'm going to do Pepper Jack's, but Capriati's has just got a diss on it. If you're a sub place and you have a fucking pastrami sandwich, you are on the next level for me. You should be, yeah. I love pastrami. I know that Capriati's does the turkey one, too. It's a big deal. Yeah. With the stuffing and the cranberry sauce. Marnie loves that. it's like a fucking Thanksgiving it's like Rasa sandwich so where are Pepper Jacks?
00:50:24
I didn't vote I can't vote Capriati's man so it's 101 you gotta vote I have to vote you've had them you have to vote I've never had Pepper Jacks I don't want to hate Pepper Jacks at all like they're good I've never had either I don't even know where one is Pepper Jacks is over in the by the way you both need to have both like you should just go have it But Pepper Jack's is only hot. You're only getting a cheesesteak, basically. Oh, really? You can't get a cold pepper jack. It's fucking as good as a cheesesteak. It's better than a Jersey Mike's one. Anyways. Is Jersey Mike's on there? We did Jersey Mike's on there.
00:51:02
Yeah, we did the first one. The first subway. They won. They moved out. They won. I didn't get asked about that one. I was picturing Jimmy John's in my head. All right, now we're going to Jimmy John's. You and fucking Jack are out here with your turkey time. Turkey time! Jimmy John's versus Panera.
00:51:19
Oh. Do you want me to go first? Wait. Who in Panera? Jimmy John's. So this is a weird one. Mine's easy. This is a sandwich bracket. I like Panera for a lot of things that are not sandwiches. Soup. We got you. You already want soup on a lot of things. When you want to cut your arm off for a ladle of soup, that is where you go as Panera. Yeah, I'm going to vote for Jimmy John's because I like their sandwiches more than Panera's sandwich. That's smart. It's a sandwich bracket. That's what we're doing. Yeah. Sandwich quadrant. Same. It's not Panera. Yeah. I have to say Jimmy John's. I mean, I like Panera, but I feel like it's kind of weird.
00:52:04
I think Panera's overrated, but I don't think it's. I think it's way overrated for what they charted, but I don't think it's. That's how I am. Like, it's good. I told you I was going to poke holes in your bracket, and I think it's a little weird. Jersey Mike's versus Firehouse.
00:52:16
Jersey Mike's versus Firehouse. Now you're coming in hot. I'll answer first because these guys are Firehouse heads. So I'll just give it some balance. I'm going to say Jersey Mike's. I'm going to say Jersey Mike's. Yeah, it's Jersey Mike's. Okay. I was going to say, I'm like, yeah. Firehouse was done dirty. Give it to me Mike's way. I will. All right. Capriottis versus Jimmy John's. Capriottis. Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's. I haven't had Capriottis on. I knew both of my favorite places were going to die.
00:52:46
How's it feel? All right. Jersey Mike's. So nobody has a fucking pastrami. This is the correct final battle. What is this? Jersey Mike's versus Jimmy John's. This is where it was always going to be.
00:52:59
Jersey Mike's. Because at least they can do a decent hot sandwich. I feel the butt hurt in you. He has some real rage about how Jimmy John's. But you're also not wrong. I get it. I get it. I will agree. It's Jersey Mike's. I disagree. I think Jimmy John's has great bread. Well, I like their bread a lot. Their bread's great. Actually, I shouldn't say that. When you're getting into the finals like this, you start to really pull the best out of both. Yeah. I do think that Jimmy John's has better bread. I'm sorry. I was going to go Jersey Mike. I thought about it. So I don't know. Yeah, I think Jimmy John's has better bread.
00:53:36
I like their cold fast sandwich more. I like the kick and ranch quite a bit. I do the unwitch a lot because they do it fast too. It's just, yeah. Jersey Mike's has some more options. I like Jersey Mike's, Mike's way. I like the sauce, right? Or the juice. Yeah, you do. You like Mike's way with the sauce? I love Mike's way with the sauce. And the juice. He'll give it to you every time. We need a clip of this. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. However you want it. I agree with the toasted. Jimmy John's tries, but it's not the same. Yeah. My vote would be Jersey Mike's as well. All right. So we got that. All right.
00:54:12
Now we're on to what I would call the miscellaneous just because I couldn't fit. Like, basically, it started as kind of like a Mexican. Arby's versus who hot. I couldn't think of what else to say. It gave me kind of a little bit of a hodgepodge. But we're going to go straight up with Taco Bell versus Taco John's. Taco John's. Taco Bell. What is wrong with? Oh my god. Have you... What was last time you ate at Taco Bell? Last week. Cool. What was last time you ate at Taco John's? Years ago? Six months ago. It's not even close how much better it is. We're going to need to call somebody. Jesus Christ.
00:54:53
Because we got a two- I think Taco John's has the great potato lays. They have the great... Everything tastes... Six-packing a pound. I'll do that all day long. Their food tastes real. Give me the Dorito, Loco Taco. Oh, that's the worst. Come on. That is the most overrated... Taco John's doesn't have a crunch wrap. They don't have... gorditas they don't have i'm trying to think of who we oh i would drink the fire sauce yeah have we ever called julie no okay do you think she's i i don't know it'll be funny she might even agree with me i'm just thinking of who we haven't called and we'll answer i can't believe you guys are fucking picking taco bell i can't believe you like taco john's mark hey beautiful 900 voice how are you hey girl hey girl great you're live on the podcast right now okay oh god i love it i know Oh my God, is your tit out?
00:55:42
Hey, you have to subscribe to Patreon for that, Shaun. Jesus Christ. We can't really see just because you can say yes. Consent, consent, consent. I know, we're huge on consent. 900 voice. Anyways, honey, thank you for answering. You're going to be the 900 voice. You're going to be like, yeah, it always is, baby. Jesus Christ. It's $9.99 a minute. Okay, anyway. So, guess. I know. We are doing a fast food bracket because we're degenerates. And it's up to Taco Bell and Taco John's. and we're curious what you were in a tie.
00:56:12
Probably Taco John's. Yes. Thank God. Okay. Because I'm like, you're talking, you're driving up. Both are right there. Both have no line. Where are you going? You're going Taco John's. Taco John's. Thank you, God. All right. This is why you're the best. Thank you. We love you. Thank you. Love you, honey. Love you. Bye. Yeah, I mean, I don't feel strongly about it. As you shouldn't. But we have someone to call. Taco John's, you're like, do I want diarrhea before I get home? Places with the name of taco in them, which one has the better fucking taco? Taco John. Oh, first goes straight taco. I think actually that's where I think Taco Bell wins in like the Crunchwrap Supreme.
00:56:50
No, hold on. That's not a taco. No, if it's just a straight soft shell, hard shell taco. I think Taco John's wins on the straight up taco. Not even close. Also, hot houses are way better. Enough, we're moving on. Chipotle. First Poncheros.
00:57:10
We've talked about this. I'm going last. What'd you say? Poncheros. I'll go last. We've talked about this. You guys may not remember. I remember. I would go Chipotle. Chipotle all day. I used to be a Poncheros person. Then I listened to a podcast. I did the research. I got converted. Chipotle. It was ours. I can't stand the staff, but their food's better. So we gotta call someone else. If Chipotle had fucking Ponchero's fresh-pressed tortillas, it'd be a different... We'd be having a whole different conversation. Okay, so you go in and you don't get the burrito. You get a burrito in a bowl. Where are you going?
00:57:51
Don't tell us what to do. Why the fuck would I get a burrito in a bowl? I'm diabetic, bitch! It's the only way I eat it. I'm not on a diet, so fuck you. I'm just saying, if you had to, if that's the only thing drawing you there... If we're talking burrito bowls, then we're having a different conversation. yeah if Julie is might not get him to stop talking but Todd talks we can hang up on him it's true I just dude he's gonna know too he's like they're calling me now what do I do better ingredients better service Chipotle I almost said Taco John's oh alright I think I got one Call Jeff. Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
00:58:38
My name's Jeff. I'm Jeff. I just feel like he would be able to weigh in on this pretty good. Him or Dooley, I feel like, would be... Jeff's a good one. We haven't ever brought him in. No. Even though you see his sticker places in town. Man, I gotta pee. Oh, you got time. Hey, we're almost to the final four, though, right? Yeah. That'll go faster. Do you have it on speaker? The YouMail subscriber at 319. YouMail. What the fuck is email? Will Marnie answer? If Marlo's down already, I would assume so. I was like, I don't know. If not, I'm going back to Ashley. Do you want me to call Marnie? Go ahead.
00:59:17
You haven't called anyone yet. Hello. Hi how it going Hi good Hey girl Oh okay Well then you go ahead and do that not let it this part out of the episode I call you that Okay what do you need Um, we're doing a bracket, they had a really quick question. Can you give me that so quick? Um, what were the options? Chipotle. Chipotle or Poncheros. Oh, Poncheros. Goddammit! Yes, girl! Oh, that upsets me so bad. The chicken at Chipotle is gross, and it has that fake, smoky, grilled taste to it. You rule, Marnie. No. You are not only beautiful, but you are unbelievably smart.
01:00:03
She is beautiful, and I always treasure her opinion until right now. I really thought she was going to go Chipotle. Fuck. All right. Sorry. Nothing beats a ponche quesadilla. Oh, yes. Especially at 2.30 in the morning. I mean, amen to the time, but god damn it. Okay, fine. I appreciate your opinion, even though I don't like it. Thanks, honey. You're welcome. Bye. Now Adam's calling. All right. Arby's versus Dairy Queen. Oh. All right. So hear me out on this because it was kind of like Arby's isn't like. Yeah. They're kind of. They're different. They do Euros. They do whatever. And Dairy Queen with all their fancy sweet treats.
01:00:48
I mean if you haven't had a fucking Birthday cake from fucking Dairy Queen But we're not talking about birthday cake I said everything plays For what you pick for I Here's why I'm torn on this My kids are huge fans of Dairy Queen The food I don't know if you've ever went there But they're the only place where if you get Like a chicken strip basket You get a couple pieces of toast A little Texas toast and a big side of gravy it's fucking good like it's slept on and most people don't even know that's a thing no no i'm going dairy queen i i know that the food is slept on i just never think to go there for the food it's never like a thing for me we only go there for like the chicken strips with the texas toast just go for ice cream and like every once in a while i'll i'll have food there because it's a necessity.
01:01:44
But if I'm going for food, I got Arby's. Arby's, the chicken cordon bleu, man. Even when they took it off the fucking menu, you could still order it. I don't think I've ever even had that. Chicken cordon bleu is so good. I love chicken cordon bleu, but I've never had it from there. But I will say my favorite thing at Arby's is their Euro. Their Euro is so good. And their fucking mozzarella sticks. Oh, the Euro's nice too. It's so cheap. It's like $5 and it's huge. The mozzarella sticks are good. The Euro's good. they're they have creakle flies and curly fries hold on they also have the potatoes that are uh oh god what are they called potato wedges or whatever no it's it's just the giant triangle it's uh it's like a hash brown triangle but it's called something funny anyway yeah so i thought it was potato we are too yeah you're right no it's what so we're two arby's and one dairy queen i'm a dairy i'm arby's for sure arby's or dairy queen arby's okay there we go they have the meats yeah we got the meats so all right girls panda express versus long john silvers what both those are gonna make you sick at some point panda express all day triple stamp it go yourself if you vote long john silvers with your food poisoning are you out of your mind right now you guys go ahead here because like right now i he's thinking long john i love dude i love panda express i don't care when i want fast chinese food it's the only place it's the only place i'm going panda also i don't i can't tell you last time i had panda express have you had the
01:03:17
kung pao chicken it's so good i think i need to abstain from this you don't need to ever have long john silvers so i feel the same way as logan only because i go to panda express like once a week sometimes because of my children but i don't like it i love it i haven't found a single thing there that I enjoy. That's the thing. You have to enjoy something. I love the Kung Pao chicken. That's the only reason I like it. I've tried because it would be convenient if I could order the same place they want to go. I can't find anything I like. All kids, by the way, all kids want the orange chicken and it's not that good.
01:03:49
I think their beef with broccoli is really good. I don't think it's good. I just haven't found anything that I like. I get it. But I haven't been to Long John Silver's in like two years. That is trash. You'll be on a toilet for a week after you do. Alright. Alright, Taco John's versus Poncheros.
01:04:07
Poncheros all day. I know I'm going to lose this, but I'm going to say Taco John's. That's okay. I would pick Poncheros over Taco Bell, too. Hold on. They were here. This sucks. I really hate Poncheros. It's actually a question of which one I don't like. I don't like Poncheros. Yeah, I really hate Poncheros. I think I'm going to go Taco John's just because I hate Poncheros. You have to call somebody else again because I'm Poncheros all the way. It's okay. Adam just called. Oh, this pisses me off. I feel like I just know he's going to say fucking pancheros.
01:04:38
Just setting myself up for failure. This is fine. Hey, Mikey. Hey, thanks for answering your phone, you dickhead. Hey, I was in the movie. Oh, shit. I even knew that. Hey, sorry. You're live on the podcast. We had to ask you something. I don't remember the last thing we were gonna ask but now we're doing a bracket and it's come down to Panchero's and Taco John's and you have to pick one and I already know The minute I called him I was like I'm fucked. I know he's gonna say so good I know you do but like Chipotle is better It's not it is It's not. It is. It is. It is. It is. It lost in the first round.
01:05:32
No, in Conchero's you don't have to worry about food poisoning. Maybe occasionally your food smells like cigarettes slash weed. Yeah. That just... What the fuck is up with that? That's the future of the major fuck. I'm sorry the workers should be wearing hazmat suits. That's totally normal. No big deal. All right. Hey, lastly... Oh, you don't get food poisoning. Hey, in 10 seconds, how was Street Fighter? It was funny. Trash. Great throwback to the 90s music, but also corny as fuck. I'm so excited to see it. Thanks, buddy. I love you, buddy. Thanks for calling back. All right, man. See ya. Bye.
01:06:08
God damn it. I knew he was going to say that. Panda Express versus Arby's. Arby's. Panda Express. I literally go to Arby's because it's right next to Panda. I'm going to Arby's. Arby's. They are literally one. I go get the kids that, and then I go to Arby's. Ponchero's versus Arby's. Arby's. they have an arby's over panchero's oh poncho's i'll concede to arby's like as much as i like panchero's dude you know how pissed people are gonna be that fucking arby's is in the final four nobody okay nobody so we have come down to the final four all right the final four consists of chick-fil-a papa john's jersey mikes and arby's now that we're in the final four and we have kind All the Arby's lost.
01:06:54
No, just one. Oh, God damn it. Now that we get into the final four, I need you to think about if this is all I could eat. Not just the one, but this is all you get for the end. Yeah, the rest of your life. Right. Because we've got a little different genre. So what are you going to do? Jersey Mike's versus Arby's.
01:07:16
Arby's. That's the crazy thing. They have so many more options. I like the variety. So if you're on an island and you only get one. Hey, now Jersey Mike's is doing the bowls. They have hot subs. They have cold subs. They have it with bread. They have it without. They have lots of other types. So you could do a salad with that. True. So it's not as limited as you would say. The only limit is they don't have any fried food. They don't have mod sticks. They don't have curly fries. They don't have fried food. They don't have gyros. They don't have fucking chicken cordon bleu. They don't have a roast beef sandwich.
01:07:48
But they have a chicken sub. They could fucking make a chicken cordon bleu. They don't have a euro. Do they? Go fuck yourself. Do they have any potatoes? They should. They should make a fucking euro. Hey, you're dying on an island. What do you want? Variety. I want fucking Jersey Mike's. What are you drunk-ass bastards? I think the Arby's is going to give you. I can take Jersey Mike's pepper relish in a bottle because they sell it at the store and put it on my Arby's sandwich. No, you can't. We're on an island. You're fucking up your own argument, man. Why did you do that? You can't just stop talking.
01:08:26
Yeah, you just fucked it up. You can roast beef anywhere in the world. So you picked the one thing and you decided you were going to put it on your fucking jersey. Like, what the fuck? Their pepper relish is great, but I would still go with Arby's, man. You lost me. It's Jersey Mike's. Just because Arby's has a large menu doesn't mean all those things are good. Right. It's 100%. Oh, none of them are good, but you'd be like, oh, that sucks. I would still go that way. I would rather have a dozen great sandwiches than a giant menu full of- We get it, quality over quantity. I know, but if I eat Jersey Mike's two days in a row, I'm going to be fucking- You can go War Man.
01:09:03
I'm going Jersey Mike's, too. So it's three to one, Jersey Mike's? Yeah, Jersey Mike's. I fucking love their sandwiches. Erik's so resentful. I don't blame him. I really don't care. Goddamn, our Barbies are going to be- All right, Chick-fil-A versus Papa John's. Ooh, I'm sorry. I mean, these are two leaders in their category. So I'm not, I don't hate that these two on the final four, but again, thinking longevity of what you're going to have. Mind you, all the things Papa John's has more than pizza. Yeah, I know mine. Shoot that three pointer, man. Papa John's.
01:09:36
I know like that. I'm going Papa John's also. I fucking love pizza. It's more fun. If the host is the last ones, I'll say Chick-fil-A. because well and not just because that because i actually i just think i would get i would get sick of chick-fil-a i don't think i would get sick i don't get sick of pizza as long as i mix it up and they don't just have pizza for the record i'm gonna i'm gonna say chick-fil-a just to it's actually the arby's argument about the larger menu and more options for chick-fil-a over papa john's except the difference is quality chick-fil-a's food is better than arby's right right we're a mess i was looking to see what i got here to to call or to break the tie here let's see here i can call aaron if you want call her i'm like actually oh you got her yeah yeah is on speaker it's quiet it's really quiet why is it not showing up crank that soldier boy it is is it are you sure it's on speaker hi you're from sharing oh she didn't answer do you want me to uh try calling sean prior he was just texting me yeah might as well another podcast fellow podcaster yeah do it it would be fun to have a another perspective too
01:11:11
hey sean pryor how's it going buddy good hey you are currently live on the we're still cool right podcast and i had a quick question for you you got it um we're doing a bracket right now uh for fast food and I need you to tell me which option out of these two you would prefer. You called me.
01:11:38
Normally he'd call me, but I'm on it. He's like, hey, fat boy. Yeah, I don't know actually if you would eat any of these, but because you're... You know, you're the only phone call I've received today that wasn't like, have you voted yet?
01:11:52
Well, we do. We would like to check in to make sure that you have. Have you voted? all right would you rather have hold on hold on set this up sorry because we did go through this but now we got in the final four think about like you're on an island and this is all you get to eat for the rest of the time so it's not it's a little deeper so chick-fil-a versus papa john's chick-fil-a chick-fil-a why would you do you like a go-to order there uh it's it's probably it's like it's king fast food as far as like sandwiches or like any you know um burgers go for me hard to argue with that got it it's hard to argue with thanks buddy oh that's good we're good? Yep. Thanks, Shaun.
01:12:42
Thanks, Shaun. And thanks for voting. Bye, buddy. Love you. See you, dude. Love you, bye. Well, it comes down to I will say on my, like, by my office, these two are neighbors. Chick-fil-A versus Jersey Mike's. Oh. These are literally two of my favorite places. God, I know. So I'm really happy with this being the final two. I am surprised that we don't I mean, Arby's getting the final four is probably as fucked up as it got. Like, normally we have some rack. Like, we're going to probably have one of the true leaders win this. I would be honestly totally happy if either one of these won. Like, the amount of, like, variety that I can order at both places is fine.
01:13:29
I feel like I would go Chick-fil-A just based on variety. Again, end of my days, I can order the whole menu. I like salad I like soup, I like sandwiches I like nuggets, that's where I'm going Grilled and fried Grilled and fried And they're just so nice to you By the way, hold on, and breakfast Jersey Mike says no breakfast True that I mean, I can eat a sandwich for breakfast My two favorite types of restaurants, breakfast and Mexican I will say though And when you put them together Which I think is very funny with these two Both places very kind to you When they walk in They welcome you They're very like My pleasure They make you feel like they're happy to see you As opposed to like what the fuck do you want It does totally matter It's amazing when we're all spending all this money These are two very expensive places By the way Five seconds Have you ever went to Moe's?
01:14:28
Oh yeah Welcome to Moe's My kids used to get so embarrassed Because they walk in and yell and I'd be like, welcome! I'm so happy to be here! And they'd be like, please stop. You know where I feel the most hated? Fucking Arby's. Every time I drive through, I feel like they don't want me there. They throw your card back here. You know how long it's going to take us to make this fucking year out? We have the meats that aren't going to be done for a few hours, motherfucker. No onions, we pre-made them. Alright, what do you got, Erik? Chick-fil-A, Jersey Mike's. Chick-fil-A. Logan? you just you try to go against the grain you were thinking about it jersey mike's all the way but chick-fil-a wins chick-fil-a wins and honestly i think that was the favorite in the matchup i don't think it's a bad like again i don't think it's a bad one that's a hard one seed all day long it was yeah started against five guys let's just take you through their journey beat five guys then beat culver's which might have been one of their hardest that's a hard one they came out of that one then they went against mcdonald's which just nostalgically mcdonald's is a tough one but better food chick-fil-a and then papa john's that ain't no don't agree it's better jersey mike so i really think that if if it had been different culver's could have gone all the way yeah different matchup yeah yeah for sure culver's is i'm i fucking love Culver. There's a reason every time we drive by
01:16:00
Culver's, the line is fucking crazy. Culver's would have beat McDonald's. Culver's would have beat... I don't remember the other ones. Could have been. Arby's. It all could have been. It all could have come out in the wash. Somebody had put together a better bracket. I could have been president if people didn't look into my past. You know what's going to be amazing is when I piss all over this table.
01:16:24
Hey guys, we hate to break it to you, but there's no Patreon this week because Shaun has to piss too bad. But I will say you heard the bracket. You like it. Do your own thing. You figure out your own bracket. Hopefully we didn't break your heart too much. You don't like the bracket? You do it. Make your goddamn own. Hold on. And then email us at we'restillcoolright at gmail.com and we'll break it down. But I will say check out our new website. Alright? Because our new website we'restillcoolright.com has all of our stuff out there, all our episodes on top of all our drinks and i'm only plugging the drinks because tonight we're recording my wife had a hard day she's like i'm looking for a good drink guess where she went no joke she went to our website and i'm like which one did you pick the autumn mule oh yeah i don't even know what's in it but she's like i picked off the autumn mule and she fucking had the mule cup that was a good one yeah so she's got the autumn mule going tonight so it's easy to make probably something you can find but All our stuff is out there.
01:17:23
So by the way, just real quick idea. I had, we're going to also, I'm going to go through and make sure we make this happen. We're going to add all of our brackets to that. Cause we can have our, our mascot go through that and then just break down all of our brackets. So yeah, yeah, we should like just keep track of them. Yeah. And another one. So all right, should we do a dad joke? Please. Cause I gotta fucking pee so bad. Give me that dad joke. And then let's block in the sides of the table. So he can't pee and make him jump over it. I will piss on this new table. We got to season it somehow.
01:17:56
Why did the burger go to the gym? Because he had to piss. I don't like how fast he said that because it threw my mind off. Like, okay, hold on, hold on, fuck off. What? Why did the burger go to the gym? To get beefy. To get a fresh press. That'd be such a good... To something buns. To be a beefcake. To get better buns. I'm going to take that as a win. i hate you i thought mine was a really good answer by the way he's only not i mean there's none of them not the last one so like he's still i know i'm still happy he's still living on the high it's okay all right i accept that that's good good job buddy all right another bracket in the books another show in the books and sean's gotta pee really bad i just want to say guys i love how wonderful this show has been to do together i was gonna say can we can we all just take five minutes to give each other some compliments about what we've done this year and like i'm just saying like shout out shout out to sean's bladder yeah you're holding strong we appreciate you but even past that i i just it means a lot to me i muted him you can go i muted him you can go Oh, you got to kill it!
01:19:11
please don't be on the table I love it guys.