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Ep. 6Apr 1, 20251:09:12

March Madness Brackets update and medical procedures... What else could you ask for?

Episode 6: March Madness bracket update and first punishment delivered. We dive into social media guilty pleasures, colonoscopies, and starting a business at 46.

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I broke up with my girlfriend because she was a communist. I should have seen all the red flags.

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Episode 6: March Madness bracket update and first punishment delivered. We dive into social media guilty pleasures, colonoscopies, and starting a business at 46.

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Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

Welcome back buddy. I love it. Now! We're going! Get ready! We told Erik to give us a sign. He goes, now! Fucking NASCAR. Oh, we should get a checkered flag. That would be the way to go. Or a green flag would make more sense. Whatever.

I don't know. That's a thing. It's from Mallrats. No, that's right. Two, three. Right up there. That's right. Right in the pipe. Mallrats. Oh, now we're off to a big. star here yeah anytime that hits the hits the talking points i just somebody brought that movie up recently uh and i remember because stan lee is in it from like the marvel movies and i always forgot about that but do you remember the ass pennies thing no the ass pennies i'm pretty sure that's that movie is it not that movie where he puts pennies in his butt because he likes no then he gives them out to people and he likes knowing that they had like pennies from his ass in their hands no he doesn't with the like it's the chocolate there's a movie with ass pennies i don't know what's wrong with me i don't know why that popped i swear to god i don't think i should google it i think you should i think you should maybe use your phone go incognito ass pennies that will come up with some good stuff i don't know why i swear that's from all rats i don't know well speaking of that stuff yeah kind of guilty pleasures you got on your uh your social media.

What makes you laugh that you're like, man, that really shouldn't? My new one, well, that shouldn't. Well, I don't know. But yeah, it's just like, if I go down a rabbit hole, like what do I like to go down? So my new thing is this guy, and I can't remember his name. I'll have to look him up. I'm sure you guys have seen him, but he rates things. He's like NFL kickers wives, smash or pass. Oh, okay. It's fucking hilarious. And I didn't realize he had that many of them, so I went down a whole area for like two hours watching all of them. Of different topics? Yeah, he did like TV Cartoon mom smash her past, you know, I was like, oh, yeah, for sure He in summer questionable, but like like Marge Simpson. I was like I would pass You know I mean like that voice just it's the whole like I can't sleep with a girl from Boston because it would just drive me Fucking gross so no offense to Boston ladies But that's that's my big one lately, but honestly, it's just like anything of people getting hurt well I love it.

Talk about that. When people run into glass doors, I can't stop. It's my... It's so good. I just think it's the best. But I'm sad because I did it once. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's happened to all of us. But this was at Madhouse Brewing in Iowa. I think it was Iowa City. I can't remember. It was like... Dude, the entrance was all glass. So when I went to leave, I hit it so hard that the whole wall of glass went... And everyone in the place looked at me. All of my friends outside who were sitting outside were staring just laughing. Somehow I didn't spill my beer. And I've never been so embarrassed in my life.

So I understand. Because it just makes... There's nothing... It sticks with you. You can't recover from it. No. You just... And you can't look cool when you do it. It hurts. It's over. You can't go down. Oh, God. No, that's a really good one. You know? As long as the glass doesn't shatter. Because it's dicey. But I thought I was going to shatter that thing. I get down these things and then it's unbelievable. The other one, have you seen the skiing video where the guy's like, I can't slow down. He flies by. No. Oh my God, I'll send this to you later. It is. He's just out of control. So it's like this guy filming almost like an instructional video, right?

And all of a sudden you hear this guy whiz by the camera. And as he's doing it, he's like, I can't slow down. Oh my God. And then there's a guy behind him that's like, ah! And they're flying by. I will listen to it. It's one of those like I just over and over and over and tell like that's another line I was every single those little funny noises that happen in videos. Yeah, those are hilarious Yeah, you know like The other one is you know when someone gets hurt, but then they make it a song like some guy was playing with like a band Like like a resistance band and it snaps up into his dick or balls whatever and he's like ah and then they make that into like Michael Jackson That's another whole I can't Yeah, you jump on those things.

It's pretty good. I'm going to find that video and send it because I, I got, and Ashley's the same way. Like, it's like, we'll randomly get on it, you know, and then just laugh or whatever. And yeah, I'm like, it's one of those videos that no matter how many times you've seen it, you laugh every single time. Yes. No matter what. And I'll listen to it over and over and over and I'll just laugh. And it was a couple of weeks ago. And all of a sudden Sophie started laughing out in like the living room. Yeah. I'm like, what are you looking at? She's like, oh my God, this guy likes skiing. I'm like, and she plays it.

Then I'm hooked right back again and have to search it. We're back, baby. Yeah, so it was – Have you heard of Jeff Curry? He's a comedian. So like if you've gone down like comedian holes, maybe he's popped up. He's kind of a dorky guy. I don't know. He has this one little clip. It's like maybe 45 seconds long. I laugh to the point where I can't breathe every single time no matter how many times I see it. And all he says is something about nipple rings. And someone in the audience is like, I have nipple – and he's like, you have nipple rings? And she goes, no. And he goes, oh, okay. Thank you. And then she goes, I used to.

And he goes, why? And she's like, they got infected. He's like, and like he starts dry heaving on it. Dude, it's the funniest 45 seconds I've ever seen in my life. Because it's just legit. Like he wasn't expecting that. No. And it's such a genuine visceral reaction where it's like he was really close to throwing up. You know what I mean? And like, and then later when he's like checking out, he's like got his mouth and he's like, I think I'm okay now. And he's like, you good now? You got good beans? I've never heard nipples called beans. So that killed me. I was like, fuck. So you send me that video and I'll send you that one. Okay. It'll be fair. Sounds like a good trade. We'll report back here speaking of reporting back the brackets Guys you talked about but there's more videos to talk about so I'm sorry. No, I just don't want to do it I just don't want to talk about the brackets That was my attempt at changing the subject My man is a little nervous about what's going on. I don't I don't like basketball very much I mean, I like it, but I this is why I don't do brackets. Yeah, and I thought I was being a genius I was like, Houston's going to go all the way.

I'm not going to take fucking one of the ones it is every year. Yeah. It's not looking great. I don't know if I have anyone still in it. It's bad. Well, after our first two rounds, so for those that didn't catch that one, we all filled out brackets. We did it quick. We didn't even have time to research or anything like that, and none of us are big. I mean, we like basketball. We'll watch it. I'll watch it especially this time of year. This time of year, yeah. It's fun. and it feels like a time we spend a lot of time in the bars. I know. It's like my birthday, St. Patrick's Day, you know what I mean?

It's like, oh, let's go watch the game, let's grab some wings, do something like that. It's just great knowing it's always on. You're not going to miss it. Yeah. Anyway, so we did it quick, and the deal was after the first few rounds, we were going to come back and we were going to score them, and then the person who has the worst score or the lowest number of points takes a shot oh who was the lowest was it one of you guys i that'd be great i think there's you know a reason why you didn't want to get on this topic there might be and we're no strangers taking shots on here drinks or you know but um what we did was it's just shitty tequila yeah now i will say i feel like you guys threw me a bone but it's more that i got lucky because i thought for sure it's going to be jose cuervo or even worse like what war is or something like that yeah but i saw the bottle and it's what hornitos yeah yeah so i was supposed to grab the jose i think that's a step above it so i'm gonna take that i blew right past it you know i mean it's never on my mind when i go there but oh no thank god eric's got some tequila here for it so for those keeping score eric what'd you have here where's the breakdown oh there we go all right so eric is leading the way with 50 points i have 49 and mike 44 okay but it's not like i'm like i didn't like i wasn't that far. I mean, that probably is a lot in the terms of this bracket. But hold on.

Here's the other bullshit thing. This is two weeks. I'm sitting here. I'm going to be last every week after this. Oh, these things can go south in a hurry. Plus, the game's worth more points the further in the rounds that they get. Cool. So it's great that I have barely anyone left? Is that what you're saying? Cool. Okay. This is all shaping up to work out fantastic. Well, you know what?

I don't care. That's good for you. I know you don't. And I'm pretty sure I was the one who came up with doing a shot of shitty Yeah, so I'm really mad about it. So look I did drink Malort this past weekend. So that was delicious I hear the weirdest fucking guy. I know it's not delicious. I just like you don't mind it I don't mind it and I like that I can it's this kind of like this pride thing like it doesn't taste good But it's no but it doesn't make you know like I can do the full shoot clear and then be like You know so like what we talked before it's just more fun watching everybody else freak out that that's and that's why I love Malort Like, I mean, when we used to go to beer shares and stuff, or beer releases, like, someone would be taking a bottle through the lines.

Like, who's never had it? Yeah. Because watching someone take their first shot of it is the best. Yeah. Until they don't mind it, which happened this weekend with you and your neighbor who was there. Right. She's from Illinois. From Illinois. Never had it before. I bring it up. It shocked us. We're going to do it.

She's not, like, a huge shot person either. You know what I mean? But. She did say, she's like, I'm not going to finish it. I was like, that's all right. As long as you try it. But she took a big swig of it, took it down, and then you were all excited. I was scared. I probably looked like a kid on Christmas. We did the whole, like, whatever you say, Malort, take a shot, I'll take another one, whatever that, whatever it is. I did it fine. Mike, you really. Dude, I hate it. And, like, I, I, I mean, I drink whiskey straight. Like, that's what I drink. It's my favorite drink. But I just, there's something about it.

I try to hold in the face, but once you breathe out, it's over. Oh, the burn. It's just that rotten It tastes like burnt hair or something on the back end I don't know I've heard it described as I think a buddy says it's Band-Aids and grass clippings Actually it's oddly accurate You know what I mean? We rounded it By the time it got to her We were really ready for what kind of Reaction she was going to have Took it down It's not that bad It's not good But it's not that bad and I was just like wah wah wah and that was the very defeating feeling it was So anyway this uh this shouldn't be as I'm gonna try and do this and not make a face even though I I mean I like good tequila, but this is not that no so Cheers to the losers out there like myself oh Okay Fuck!

Dude, it's once you breathe out. Oh, it's fucking terrible. Oh, I gotta hand it to you. That's that's Nobody wishes that. No, I'm really shocked though now that we're talking about it that we didn't say malort Like I can't believe that didn't pop but oh, I think we did and I said no There's no point cuz Shaun doesn't mind it. That's right. Okay. I was gonna say cuz otherwise that's always the go-to I Should hide that more and act like you really you really should people just buy you shots Oh, no, ew, it's gross Yeah.

So anyway, I don't know how the basketball is going to shape out from here on out. I've got to update my bracket as far as the winners and stuff. I mean, we have it online, so I've got to look on there. Just take your sheet home. It's not looking good for old Mikey. Just to say the least. I think I'm in trouble. I mean, you were a little bit of the underdog from the beginning anyway. I was. I love your lack of basketball. Yeah, I love sports. I will watch, I mean, especially March Madness. It's always fun. You know, we talked about last time, it's vasectomy season. That's when I got mine done. And I watched it the whole time, but it just, it's not football.

You know what I mean? No. But nothing is. Nothing is. Nothing is. The rest is just pure depression. Yeah. So I got to ask, you went through something lately. Yeah. It's kind of a shitty situation, but I just, I feel like we should probably talk about it, you know? Yeah. What do you want to talk about? I don't know. What's a shitty situation?

The one where? You had some stuff in you that made me need to get off your chest. Not someone, something. Yeah, I did the, I'm officially, well, across that age, the 45, where you got to do the colonoscopy. Welcome to the club, brother. Yeah. Did it, did the prep work this week? God, that just sucks. We're penetration bros.

It's okay, I don't remember. It's not the way that I want to read. I don't remember his name. He hit me early. Yeah? I got in there, you know, and they hook you up, you know, and you know they're about to hit you with that Michael Jackson drug. Yeah. He took you right out. He didn't tell you when it was, like, coming? He didn't say, like, you're going to be out any second? No. What, really? Yeah, like, they, like, rolled me over, and I was still, like, not out. And I'm like, we're going to, like, this is going to kick in, right? And I swear to God, I get the, I don't know, just the thumb, whatever it was to kick in.

I'm like, oh, and then I don't remember anything from it. You actually felt something happen before you went out? Yeah. And then I went right out. So it was like, it was like, maybe he thought it was already going to be like, right there. What did you do? Slip him a 50 so you could feel it? Like, that's crazy. Yeah. There's nothing creepier than not even. Oh my god. Yeah. So that's terrifying. I said that to Ashley when I got back. And Ashley's like, that didn't happen. You probably just made that up. I'm like, you wouldn't make that up. I was like, no, because I was like, whoa. And then, and then.

How? Hold on. Oh my god. I have so many things to say right now. Can you imagine, like, you went, whoa, and then you went out, and the guy's like, whoa, barely got him, you know what I mean? Like, that was a close one. Yeah, give me a warning next time. But that's the weird thing, too, is, like, you're out, but you're not. They can still talk to you, and, like, you talk back. You're not fully, like, under. So, God, can you imagine to see, like, a video of, like, what you said while you're under? And you're just like, whoa, quit rumming around down there. Yeah, what are you doing here? Yeah, that's a brand-new prison wallet.

So. That's crazy. Yeah. I've never felt anything. It was not the way. Were you super nervous to get it done? So was I the first time. I had to get it nearly. I had 10 years to clean up. Yeah, you lucky bastard. And I'm younger than you. This is stupid. Yeah, I'm glad that I did it. You know what I mean? I'm glad that. Yeah. Because that's what I said, too. I was like, nobody wants to do this. But I'm like, the last thing I want to do is freaking just not get something simple checked to do it. Yeah, for sure. It's not fun for anybody. And so shout out to anybody. Go get it done. It's really not that big.

The prep is the worst part. And the worst part about the prep is it's just annoying. You know what I mean? Like, it's just annoying. Like, you're just... Yeah, you're just on the toilet all night, and it sucks. And it sucks. Well, and the other thing that sucks is, didn't you have yours, like, kind of late in the day? Yeah, I didn't have mine until 1 o'clock. So I couldn't eat. You can't eat the day before. So I didn't eat until 2.30, I think, is by the time everything got done. And then, yeah, about 2.30, I think, is when we had to hit a poncho. Oh, yeah. Oh, you went for a pinch. Chairs were out of the gate.

You ballsy bastard. Yeah, gave me a burrito. It's like, we're getting the rest out. Watch me. There's anything left in there. It's coming out now. Oh, geez. Yeah, no, but. I scheduled mine like a year in advance, and they just always ask me when I'm like, the earliest you can. So it's usually like 8 a.m. Because I'm like, I want this over with. Because, I mean, I don't deal with, like, not being able to drink even water. So, like, I know you can only, I mean, you get to drink until, like. Like, two hours before is when you then also. Yeah. But even before that, like, because you know you can't drink, I start getting parched.

I start getting angry. And I'm like, give me some fucking water. So, yeah, I was like, get it over with early. But, yeah, you're right. I really do compare it to, like, getting a vasectomy. It's so nerve-wracking before it happens. You're like, this is going to suck. And then you do it, and you're like, oh, it's not that good. Because it's unknown. Yeah. I mean, like, even the. Yeah. I mean even though you know surprise attack right in the beginning there was a little some people were then a bargain get that rummage Drowned in I mean some of us don't so it's a little nerve-racking Yeah, like I'd wait, you know when you talk about cutting open your ball sack I don't think there's any way to be like it's gonna be fine. You're like you can fuck off Yeah, when they say it's no big deal Yeah, but then versus a woman who like has to be put under it's like yeah It's not even close like I've heard guys be like no she can get fixed like are you out of your fucking mind?

You asshole. It's kind of the dick move. It is. You're out an hour. Right, yeah. She's in there for a couple days, a dick. Like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, this is a full-on, yeah. That's a red flag. That's what the kids call it. Right. When we walked out of there, I was all loopy. Yeah, she's like, as it went on, oh, she's starting to look a little more normal. Did she record you? No, I don't think I was saying anything that was that. Yeah, me neither. I believe there's some footage of you somewhere that might have... There is, yeah. Kara's a dick. She recorded me and I said, Jesus Christ I could have at least made my dick bigger when I woke up I don know why that what came to mind But I remember saying it but it one like it one of those things where it like you have intrusive thoughts and you can stop yourself I mean maybe if the plunger goes in it pushes out the front You know what I mean A man can hope It made sense in my yeah. Maybe they should say that's what happens and I bet there'd be a freaking waiting line. There'd be no problem. Everybody be recruiting to get them done.

Vasectomy doctors would be rich as hell. I think they probably already are. I think they're doing okay. It was weird when I rolled into it just like sitting there waiting for me to come in, like, drinking a Pepsi. We've been waiting for you. Like, so you're the first guy that's going to penetrate me, huh? Just eating a Snickers or, like, have a seat, Mr. Berry. You're like, oh. Oh, my God, geez. Yeah. I can't believe you felt something. That's so weird. Yeah. To get back to it, the reason I ask that is because they tell me, like, they'll be like, okay, we're going to start giving you the sedative now. Or, like, they always give me, like, a little heads up.

I'm like, okay. And then you're out. Nothing. When I came in, they attacked me like it was emergency surgery. Like there's four of them putting things on me and everything else. Like they've got 14 to do that day. They are. And then the doctors ask me these questions, and I'm kind of distracted. And then I'm like answering it. You know what I mean? I'm like, what? It was like, I don't know if he's late. Like what are we doing? Sounds like it. I don't know. Like he had somewhere to be. Was there a lot of people in there? Four, if you like. Four, five. I had like six. And I don't think a single person was over the age of 25.

And it was awkward. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it is a surgery room, too. It's like you were literally like the sun is staring at you everywhere. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there was two very attractive females that were hooking me up. Oh, yeah, there was at least four in mine. I was like, enjoy the hole. I'm out. Yeah, it's weird. It's not my best side. Hey, you get 10 years, man. You're good. Yeah, I get 10 years. It's kind of like when we were young and we were promiscuous. And you'd go get the AIDS test just to make sure. And you're like, oh, no. Even though you knew you didn't have it. Rolling the dice.

Still feels good to hear you don't have it. Still the longest. 24 or 48 hours or whatever of your life. Yeah. All right. So I heard about this new drink. I've heard of this one. I'm excited for this one. So we're going to kick on, we're going to stay on the Captain Morgan here. Actually, Erik found this one. Yeah. It's Captain Morgan. It's a shot of each. Equal parts, right? Equal parts. So is it literally like a shot into like half a beer or? No. It's like a. Like a shot in a shot? Yeah. Really? Yeah. That's what – The other ones that I saw, they were doing it on – They were doing it on – like in a shot glass.

Okay. We're going a little bit bigger here. But, yeah, it's equal parts Captain Morgan and Bush Light, and it's supposed to taste like chocolate milk. It's hard to believe. It's really hard to believe. I'm not believing it, but – He's filling them up.

I'm like, no matter what, I don't think it's going to be bad. No. I like beer. It's not curdled. What is it? Just pick on mic day? Fuck you guys. Jesus Christ. Look, it was a great drink with a great name. I said I liked it. I liked it. I said I liked it. The garbage disposal didn't. So we'll see. Yeah. It's no big deal. Well, fellas, cheers to us here. We'll see. It's Captain Morgan and Bush Light. It's supposed to taste like chocolate milk. All right. Down the hatch.

a little bit a little bit I think it might have helped more bush light maybe next time I don't think Shaun's a fan I like more than I like that how dare you wow I think it would have helped too if the cabinet morgan was cold when you're doing equal parts half of it being warm it warms it all up That was not very cold. That's another thing I can go on a tangent about. I'm a firm believer that almost all drinks should be cold. Now, I drink whiskey straight, and that's warm. You know what I mean? But I'm saying a mixed drink, a shot, they should all be cold.

I always throw a cube in mine. And your whiskey? I always do, yeah. Too warm, I don't like it. I know that goes against a lot of things, and people that really like expensive stuff, I know. like here's a money yeah suck it yeah i like it and then yeah i know that goes against the butt hey that's the way that that i like it if it's too what it's too warm i just don't enjoy it yeah i mean but even like you know i know in a lot of other countries like they drink guinness at room temperature it's like yeah i can more understand it with guinness for some reason i think because it's not carbonated maybe but like even then i still prefer a cold but a lot of like bureau in like the pubs cask oh okay so like it could be 40s maybe you know what i mean but that's still like you'll go to someone's okay so we've all been to a bar where like you got a beer on draft and it was cold but it wasn't very cold i don't like that like when i like my beer fridge just said at 33 like it's as cold as you can get like you chug it it's gonna suck you know what i mean Yeah, it burns.

Yeah, yeah. You'll get a headache when it's over. But that's how I like it. I want it freezing cold. I want it like the Arctic. Well, I will say, you know, most times we've done this, we've had the drink multiple times. I got no interest in that one again. Oh, come on, man. I got no interest in that one again. The aftertaste is kind of chocolate milk-ish. It's a big ish. I got it right on the end, like a little bit where it's like I could see what they're saying. Right now, I feel like I had a glass of chocolate milk. I think it did not taste like it during. I wonder if it had something to do with the, if it was cold, if that would have done something.

I think it would have helped. Or I also think having it. Or I wonder if the beer was warm, maybe that would have done something. I don't know. That's true. I think having the idea in your head helps too, though. You know what I mean? Like, it's kind of like somebody made the joke a long time ago where there was a meme, I don't know, about White Claw. I fucking hate White Claw. Yeah. There's some seltzers I do like, but I hate that one. And somebody said, it tastes like you're drinking TV static while someone yells strawberry in the other room. Is that not the most fucking dead on accurate thing you've ever heard in your life?

Where the hell do you hear this stuff from? I don't know, man. I go to weird websites. But like, you know what I mean? Like, it's, that's exactly... We were talking about the weird websites. What is it? Let's not get it. That's fucking, no, we need a therapist in here for that. But can you, like, but do you know what I mean? Like, it's like all sticky and there's a hint of fruit. You know what I mean? Sure, sure. And it's just enough, like, putting it in your head. And I feel like that's sometimes, like, when someone tells you, like, this is what it tastes like, that's all you're thinking about.

So you're like, oh, kind of. Yeah, I got the strawberry there, yeah. Yeah. Placebo's a real thing. And in Norway, you'd be like, what does this taste like? No, this is garbage. It sucks. Yeah, I get it. On that same note, have you ever, like, I love Pepsi or Coke or whatever. Yeah. You know what I mean? And love beer. Oh, yeah. You ever reach in the cooler and grab Pepsi on accident when you're expecting a beer and just drink it? And it's like. No. But that'd be a kick in the dick. It's, you know, you're ready for beer. Yeah. And then pop, and you, like, spit it out. Like, it's like, oh, this is gross.

Oh, yeah. And then you're like, wait a minute. I really like, oh, like, it's OK. But I see what you're expecting. I could imagine that, though, yeah. So that's like Burt Kreischer had a joke about, like, going to his daughter's, like, conference. And he ran out of the house, and he meant to grab two Diet Cokes. Yeah. And he grabbed two Coors Lights. Yeah. And so he, like, cracks one, starts chugging it in the conference. Yeah. And they're like, Mr. Kreischer. And he's like, he knew right away, like, that's not, you know. Well, he says he's like, you either have to kill it or spit it out. like no you know raise no bitch but that's where like i think if i'm expecting something and it's not it especially like beer to a cola you know what i mean like that's a fucking yeah yeah that's that's no i've never done that i mean i've done where like i grabbed the wrong beer and i knew right away like no yeah but it's still beer flavor yeah yeah that's all the time i remember i don't even know why there would have been pepsi or something it was probably like something would i don't know i don't know kids i don't know whatever it'd be in there and i it happened multiple times and then it like happened to my uncles and stuff like that and all of a sudden you see somebody jesus christ once it happens to them that's a big deal yeah yeah separate these goddamn coolers and that was the last time the beer that's the last time yeah was ever allowed in the house yeah yeah oh god yeah but yeah you had a birthday i did 26. yep you said that I was going for it.

Now I'm 46 years old. Jeez. 46 years young, my man. I'm officially on the top side of my mid-40s. You are. I mean, I would have not have. I mean, next year, I'm in my late 40s, right? No. You're not late 40s, so you're 49. Let's just write that. I like that. I like that. But, I mean. It's weird, you know? Yeah. I don't know. I've been like. It's like I don't care. I don't care. But I also feel. I don't feel 46. You know what I mean? like it so it's really weird oh you don't i feel 55 some days well i mean someday sure like my body hurts but if you still like mentally yeah like mentally not at all yeah yeah i mean yeah i'm a chubby piece of crap right now i mean it's not like at all when it was when i was younger but you're just boo thing to me yeah yeah but it's uh yeah i don't i don't know i mean it's just weird to me to think that i'm almost or i'm knocking on 50s door you know so that's what it is like Everything's comparable, right?

So, like, I sit there and I go, like, oh, like, you know, I'm 40. How old am I? 41? 42. I just forgot my age. I'm 42. I'm 41. I'll be 42 in a couple months. Jesus Christ. God, you're that much younger than me? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Feels good, too. Feels real good. Yeah. Especially after you gave me two bullshit drinks tonight. Two bullshit drinks. That's all this knowledge that I got. Oh, you motherfucker. But, like, no, like, it's like when you look back. Like, growing up, like, you know, your uncles were that age. And it was like, oh, they're so old. But then now I'm my age. It's funny when it happens to you because I look at my uncles now and I'm like, I don't think of them as old.

No. Because you're right behind them now. So you're like, no, you're doing good, young man. It's fine. Right. It's like there's this huge gap in age. And then as you get older, then it all kind of condenses a little bit. I think after 30. I think that's when, like, it just, I don't know. No age has bothered me. 40 kind of messed with me a little. But, like, not that bad. I think 50 might fuck with me a little bit, you know? I remember 40 is when everything really started hurting. Like, all of a sudden, like, things didn't work well. You know what I mean? No, I made that joke. I was, like, 40 after my birthday.

Granted, we had a party. But, like, I woke up and I was, like, this isn't the back I knew yesterday. These are not the knees I had yesterday. Yeah. Like, it was rough going. Yeah. So, I mean, we've kind of talked about this before. But talking about, you know, am I still cool, you or, you know, when we talked about sometimes we feel like the old guy, sometimes we feel like the young guy. when you are laying there ready for your colonoscopy, you do not feel cool and you do not feel young. You can't. That's where you're going, okay. We said you can't look. There's checks and lice when you're like, this is where I'm at.

This is it. This is where I'm at. This is it. Like, if my kids could see me now. Yeah. Throw on a backwards hat and, you know, new kicks all I want to. But when you're laying there for a colonoscopy, yeah. Go get a beard lined up because I'm cool. There's no hiding in that one. I mean, you said earlier, like, you can't run into a glass wall and look cool. Like this is other world. Like you, there's, you just can't, just can't do it. And, and that, and that's why I brought up the ages of the people in there. Cause like, look, I'm not trying to impress anyone, but boy, would it make guys feel a lot cooler if like everyone in there was, I don't know, a median age of 35.

Cause like the nurse that checked me in was an older gal and she was amazing. She was like charming and funny. And like, yeah, you're like, can you hold my hand on the way in? Yeah. Like totally. Like I was like, will you be there too? Give me a Werther's original when I get out. Yeah. Yeah. Keep making sure Doc does what he's supposed to back there, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, they were straight up. That was good. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, talking about not feeling cool there with that. That'll be it. Yeah. I just hate that I have to do it every year, but it's like it runs in my family. I get it. I want to be around for my kids.

You got to do it. I'm telling you, anyone listening, just get it done. It's not as bad as everyone makes it sound. Like you said, the prep sucks. but it's eight hours that kind of sucks a little bit. And we have cell phones now. Like, you know, we can – or smartphones, I guess. I sounded old right there, didn't I? You got your cell phone? You've got it. Because you've got your Nokia. You can play Snake. But, yeah, like, you can sit there. Your mobile? Call me on my mobile. Mobile. Yeah, exactly. I will say the first year I had it done, I was so scared to, like, shit myself in my sleep, even though, like, I was pretty confident it was all out.

I slept in the bathroom. I made myself – dude, I made myself a bed. Man. Yeah, I went all out. Every week something else comes out with it. I'm a little worried about you here. No wonder where Stark sleeps in the bathtub. Buddy, we're just getting started. Yeah, buddy, get in here. Hey. Put it over. My dog is broken, but that is not because of me, okay? He was born that way. You leave him out of this. He's a good boy. He's a good boy. He just loves his tub. He's a good boy. Yeah, he loves his tub. Just like you. Yeah. But he's done it since he was a puppy. I've tried to figure that out. I don't know if we talked about him in his swimming, but we can do that sometime.

But I think maybe that – he started doing it as a puppy. I think because it was cold and there was residual water. And he felt safe in there. And it just never went away. So every day, it's like if you can't find start, he's in the tub. Even when he goes to other people's houses. He gets in the tub. Like if a firework goes off or it's getting too loud or someone's yelling at another dog, he's like, oh, fuck this. I'm out. He doesn't like when other dogs get yelled at. He's like, well, is it me? To the tub. But the best part is like when we have like people over a party or something like that people don't know he's in there So like it's happened so many things Dude, there'll be a girl sitting on the toilet and you'll hear just this Stork why and I'm just out there like that's my boy He just jumps out at random times when that was never that was Ashley sing forever Like you had to you had to open your curtains. You had to like They had to be open. Mm-hmm So she would get so mad when Kate lived with us.

He would always shut him. And she'd, like, freak out. See, I leave mine shut. I do, too. Yeah. But she had to be open. Like, she was always worried. She watched Psycho too many times? I don't know. Something like that. And I remember Chris being like, what the fuck? I'm like, dude, what do you want to know? Yeah. It's just her thing. Careful I can't hang on her. Well, I was going to say, I'm not going to pick on her because you know I love her to death. But I did send her. You saw the picture. I sent her to the other. I I sometimes forget she has that phobia because she's the only one I've ever heard that has that phobia but we were out to breakfast and just there was a straw randomly in it and Eerily staring at me and I was like that is weird and I she just popped my head. I'm like I sent her a picture This she's so she's raws pointing at her way down. Okay. I remember we were first you know this about her Erik so She hates it if the straws in and it's pointing at her like right because she's like especially Like no matter what like and be across the table and it could be pointing that way and she'd like reach Oh used to push it the other way like yeah, there's like she'd do it all the time She doesn't even do it anymore like she she never or maybe I'm trained and it's always pointed at me Which could very well that could be that because it was I remember the first time like we were first dating and she's I'm like What is it was a big deal back then and do you remember what I did to her at our old apartments?

No when we lived in the four plex you guys upstairs in the corner. Yeah, she was in there sleeping I think you were we both were sleeping and I went in there I took a bunch of bendy straws and I bet them all at 90 degree angles and I taped them all along the door frame so when she would open it there was a hundred of them staring at her written I definitely was not she was so mad about it. I thought it was hilarious, right? I was like that was genius. You know what I mean? She was not happy It wasn't weird like she was convinced those straws were gonna poke her eye out like it was just like this random thing Yeah, it's kind of like a running with scissors thing or like don't run with a sucker in your mouth She thought somebody was going to John Wick her into a straw, which is pretty impressive.

Or kids eating spaghetti. I mean, that's what that does for me. Kids eating spaghetti? It just gives me the anxiety. Oh, God, the mess. Me too. Don't talk about that. Anyway, let's move on. That's well documented. I'm like spaghetti. What, like the slurping? I don't understand. Why is that a problem? We're just rubbing in your hair. Oh, fucking fuck, man. It's happening. Yes, that's just it. Dude, anything that's messy, just fucking don't. under their nails, on their nuts. Oh, God, dude, I fucking hate it. And they're like... Dude, that's my thing. That is, like, why I'm so glad my kids are grown now.

But, like, we just went to a one-year-old's birthday party recently. And our cake time, I was like, see ya. Fucking, I'm over here with the boys, like, sipping a beer. And I'm going, that's cute from really far away. I'm like, I don't need to see this. But I don't get it, because then you, like, love kids. Like, that's... I love kids. You're, like, ovaries are always burning. My ovaries are always burning. Yeah. When they're clean. Mm-hmm. I mean, there's a reason I gave my kids like a lot of bass because it's like I'm like you let's clean those hands You know, but I also ruin them in a way like they're not as bad as me where I hate my hands being dirty Yeah, but I think we touch on this on another one like I you know if if they so they don't like touching pumpkin guts Yeah, and I'm like what do you think about wings? Do you like wings like when the sauce gets on here like ribs?

This is this is a thing, but this is why I like boneless wings. Yeah, you know, which are chicken nuggets I'm honest. I won't lie. I'll die on that shield you know or that hill but like I I just don like my hands being dirty Also I had a big beard for a long time And you know like my beard used to be like way bigger And like dude eating messy shit like that is like that for in the privacy of my own home thing In a bar, people are like, look at that fucking psycho. I'm just like, rah, rah, rah, rah, rah. You know what I mean? I will because I like smoking wings. So like, you know, the kids like it too.

So like, I'll smoke them and like, but I'll also like kind of do them dry with really good seasoning. And then just kind of dip them in the sauce. See, that's exactly what I was going to say. Is that what you do? And I will eat them with my hands. I don't really like them super saucy just in general either because, like, I feel like I have a lower scale of what you have. Sure. Like, the same thing. Like, I don't like my hands dirty either. My OCD of that, yeah. But I'm okay with it, like, on a different scale. Just a smaller scale, yeah. But any time I do, like, manual work, like, I scrub under my nails.

Dude. Like, I can't, you know what I mean? I just, like, yeah, I just don't like. You see, like. Like, I couldn't. You'll have to drink tequila next time for the punishment. It could just be, like, eat wings. You could get fucked is what you could do. You drink all the tequila that we lined it all up. You'd be fine. So if anyone knows a new producer, we're looking for one. Also a new venue. I mean, everything. He's the guy. But we'll figure it out. It's fine. Fucking asshole. Yeah, so birthday, you came out for it. It was a good time. It was a great time. It was really fun. Just kind of chill there.

Cliffs, shout out to it. Yeah, love that place. They took care of us there. Yeah, it was a really good time. The Fun Not Fancy crew has got a great happy hour. Dude, they have it going on. Shout out to them again. And we give them a lot of props on this, but it seems to be kind of our spot here for them. They're the best. They're legit. All their spots are great. But they're open a new spot that I went to that day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just showed up? Yeah, I showed up halfway. It was fine. I had the day off. I was on vacation. Hey, we weren't even going to do anything. And then Ashley was like, I say we just go to a bar.

I'm like, yeah. I like the way you were thinking. It was spring break week. I had no kids. And I took a Friday off. I took one day off. Ashley had taken that one off. And same thing. Then I hit up Erik. Erik's like, yeah, I'm already out. Yeah, and I so I just heard about it we went in there and it's great spot it like we've talked about this too on the podcast where it's like I just love little dive bars, you know, doesn't have to be big You don't have to have a bunch of shit going on. You don't don't have a big menu Their menu is small, but oh my god, dude. They had the greatest smash burger. I've ever had I am excited to try it because I love making smash, you know on the black Don't hear that black stones in there, you know, or I have one and I have your old one. Yeah and love doing smash burgers on it.

They're so good. They're so good. And I'd always seen the recipe for that whole, like, you know, take thinly the onions into it. Well, the key is how thin you can slice them. I don't have the, like, mandolin or whatever. Me neither, yeah. You know, you've got to get, like, the, we do have one. You know what I mean? But you've never used it. No, I never. Like, no, I'll do it with a knife. And then they suck, and I'm like, I should have not done that. But, yeah, I was like, because I hate uncooked onions. Like, people just take a giant onion and put it on a burger. I can't do that. Oh, I love that.

I know, you're a psycho. It's the Malort gene, that's what I'm going to call it. You like all the crisp, burn-y, fuck your face. Like, I know I'm alive, baby. That's what I'm talking about. No wonder you felt them going in. You were just like, nothing could put me down.

You were just like... This is nothing, give me a shot of Malort. You were the Superman of tastes and smells. You were like, where's the raw onions, Malort? I'm here to fuck shit up. Oh, man. No, but, like, so I can't do it. Like, I love cooked onions. I love onions and everything. But, like, I can't just take a big bite of raw onion on my burger. It just – that's all I take. I mean, I can't take a big bite, but I like it, yeah. But a lot – and you're on – tons of people like it. Yeah. So – but the beautiful thing with the smash burger is, like, they smash it into the onion. So, like, it's mostly cooked.

You get a couple crisp pieces. That's fine. But it's – oh, my God. It's so good. And, like, you think smash burgers aren't filling because they're so thin? I was stuffed. like i didn't even need like anything on the side like that it was good so they open uh april 1st so we're gonna go go down there yeah yeah my kids are excited because they love smash burgers yeah so that'd be good that'd be fun yeah fun but then uh so on my birthday as you know i've kind of been in between jobs here a little bit which is weird for me since i've had one since i was it is 15 years old it is weird but you're like one of the hardest working but like you well you were trying to figure out like figure out what i was doing but i decided at 46 i started a company yeah i did i've been talking about it so so it's it's official i'm excited something i've wanted to do for a really long time and just never obviously i wasn't going to give up situation that i was already in sure you know i mean and and taking care of you know family and everything else but you know i think things happen in mysterious ways so on you know at my 46th birthday, I'd been kicking around and Ashley's like, let's just do it.

Just, just do it. So I did. So registered, got everything. It's my official first date of it. You know, I mean, haven't made a dollar yet, but you know, some things going here for it. Well, I mean, anyone, anyone who started a business, I was like, Hey, it's going to be, it's going to be a minute. But, uh, but like, so I've just been on this cloud nine too, after doing it, like, I just feel like it feels good. It feels like the total right path. I'm really excited about it, but I'm just doing commercial window cleaning. well professional window cleaning yeah so um so yeah so residential and commercial yeah mainly commercial yeah both yep but we'll i'll have some stuff coming out you know um you know learn to first we crawl before we run you know a little bit so so there'll be stuff coming out about it but i couldn't be i mean what an ultimate gift and and shout out to your wife you know when my wife my wife but shout out to all wives out there that are like it's been your dream just do but I mean, I gotcha. Like, like, and, and I'm fortunate to have that kind of a kick-ass wife.

So as much as I talk about Ashley on this, but, but really, you know, she's a bad-ass. I can hold down the fort too. Um, you know, and so the fact that she's like, just go do it. Yep. That's huge. She's just that kind of person too. And just like the stuff that I get frustrated about that I don't want to do, she just is like, come on, we'll figure it out. And that's just like her jam. So, you know, having the, you know, that ride or die in your corner for that sort of thing. Yeah. So first I want to touch on like I'm just I'm so fucking happy for you because like I think this is such a good deal Like you you live in the perfect spot like we have so much networking and like the jobs you've had where you come from like this It's such a great idea. Yeah, it's definitely needed. Yeah, there's not enough. Well, you know, there's just there's a million windows out there Yeah, I mean that's even all the ones that are not going anywhere Yeah, yeah, someone's got a someone's got to be out there doing it. Yeah, but like it's it's a I Mean it's been a dream. It's been probably been a dream for a lot of people what I thought I thought everybody wanted to own their own company but I realized that a lot of people don't so I mean they're really really scared I've always wanted to I was just nervous about it you know I think some people are smart enough to know like they cannot be held to their own devices sure sure and I'm like good for you yeah right but people like you it's like no I like to work you know yeah I mean I really do I really like to work you love to provide for my family and so that has always been you know whatever but like I said Ashley kind of kicks ass too so yeah No, she's been you know, I believe I went on a bit of a tangent on your birthday about that Like I just like I don't think it gets brought up enough like not to get too serious on our jokey drinking podcast but I just Having the right person your corner is just it's the most important thing in the world

I mean there is so many times where a man woman doesn't matter bring something up and people shoot it down thinking It's just like it's a pipe dream or whatever. Yeah, but you don't know what's gonna stick right? Like you throw spaghetti at the wall and eventually something sticks. It's like you got to do it. And having someone that right away has your back just going like, we got this. Not I've got it. Not figure it out. Not whatever. It's like, we'll figure it out together. No, and it was massive. And I've been a dreamer forever for this stuff. So, you know, I've come up with many things that she's like, no, that's not going to work.

You know what I mean? Like, come on, honey. We'll just throw 10 grand down. She's like, we're not doing any of that. The band's going to make it. It's going to make it. We have merch sales. You know what? It's just that you don't believe in it. You know what I mean? To where then I'm like. There's a time to say no. And then it's like two days later. I'm like, oh, God. It's like in the office where, I don't know if you've seen the episode where he explains a sale thing he wants to do. And Jim goes, that's a pyramid scheme. He goes, no, because if I get this and he draws it out. And then Jim just walks over and builds a triangle around it and walks out of the room.

It's like, all right, you guys are all dismissed. Yeah. It's like there are times where it's okay to be like, I understand your passion. But it's a no for me, dog. You know what I mean? Right, right, right. But there's other times where it's like, you know what? I know how hard you work. I know that you love us and you love this and you're like, you work your ass off. Let's get it. Well, and sometimes timing just falls into it, right? It does. It really is good timing. She was never going to let me leave a job before, which I didn't really want. You wouldn't want to, yeah. But, you know, I wasn't going to trade security for that stuff.

But, you know, the way the world works sometimes, we get thrown into certain situations. And so here we go. So hopefully when we make a dollar or two, maybe we'll have our first sponsor. Hey-o. Do you want to drop the name of the business? Or would you like to wait? I don't know. You want to wait? Yeah. Okay, that's fine. Let's have a teaser. I was going to say, I like teasers. So I think I got some merch coming, so then I'll drop the merch. Oh, shit. So speaking of teasers, just to segue a little bit, which we're good at doing, this might be the last time could be three people could be 50 people I don't know who watches this but sees us in this setting it is we have already been crushing it so long that we're moving on to bigger and better places sure we watch it that's good enough Erik has to watch it he's watching it right now we got this cool little setup where it's been great it's actually been a ton of fun in here it's just been cozy but Erik's got to put a lot of work into making us and this look the way it does.

But there's a chance that we're going to be, our next video is going to be in a new studio. A little bigger, a little better. Yeah. I mean, no, not too many details yet, but it, a good thing is around the horizon. Yeah. I think it's the best way we can say it. Yeah. I mean, or it may all be a train wreck. You know what? We will fucking slam it. We'll just go back to it. It's so like, yeah, We will crash together, bro. It's fine. Here we go. I feel like we'll be all. You know that GIF where the train's trying to get through, but it's like it just can't. That'll be us. It's fine. We'll squeeze our way through.

Which, by the way, do you want to know? Just the tip for the middle of the middle of the middle. I have to say this. Do you want to know where I see that GIF the most? You guys are laughing because you know. Where do you see this? Hold on. Erik, you're laughing a lot. I'm thinking it's Ventura. Nope. Nope. I want to know what... There it is, right there. I want to know what Erik's thinking right now. Because I feel like he's in my head right now. What are you thinking of, Erik? I'll give you a minute. I've just seen it used so many times. Don't lie to me. What are you thinking of when you watch that?

Do you want to plead the fifth? I mean, he is the most honest man we know. I mean, so the fact that... What? what how dare you oh my god oh boy Jesus Christ say to our fathers right now no so the yeah so like I follow this I mean there's a lot of reason this comes up like people have seen like Shaq and his ex-wife who was like having right the mouse you know like eat the cheese or whatever yeah oh Oh, no, trying to eat the drink the water. Oh, yeah, let's see. It's my first time. Yeah. It's like Tom Brady fans when they see Tom Brady. Yeah. Sorry, we went on to age it there. But, yeah, I follow this guy like.

We watched. As we started off earlier, we watched too much stuff in general. Social media is terrible. It's ruined kids tonight. Hofthor Bjornsson or something. He's the guy who played the mountain in Game of Thrones. He's a strong man. He's fucking 6'8". Like fucking jacked to the tits. He's a great. He seems like a cool dude. I don't know. I'm about to be like, he's a great guy. I don't fucking know. But he seems cool. But sometimes you know when you look at a guy. He seems like a good dude. He's just that dude. His wife, super hot, old enough, but she's fucking this big. And it's weird. You see them, they work out together, and she comes up to, like, her head literally maybe clears his waist.

So any time they post anything together, the comments is just all the train. And I'm like, God, guys, the internet is just broken. Like, no one could be like, oh, wait to see a power couple working out together. It's just like, no, you're breaking her. How dare you, sir? That shit is, a lot of that shit is just fucking hilarious. It's hilarious. When I think about that, too, I've heard things where it's like, you know, you and I watch a lot of stand-up, but, like, Joe Rogan has said it, or, um, jeez, I'm blanking on his name, but hanging out with Shaq. I, like, turn around, and it's like, his dick is like, he's just, like, I turn around, and his dick is like, right there.

Because they're short. You know what I mean? I hang out with him and I'm honestly at his dick level. I mean, the guy is just massive. Kevin Hart is what I was thinking of, too. No, so that's what it was. It was at a roast. I think it was Tony Hinchcliffe. He said, damn it. He said, oh, he said about Kevin Hart, thank you to Shaq's dick for hosting tonight. I was like, oh, my God. Probably pretty accurate. I mean, can't be far off. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Your daughter was just standing at that. Oh, they're giving us a hot tub. So we can address that real quick. While we're doing this, the girls, all of our girls and daughters and whatever, decided to have a girls' night.

Everybody got jealous of our night. Like, you know, the guys hang out and the girls. I mean, we were hanging out this weekend, and they're like, we should just get together, too, and have a girls' night upstairs. So if you've heard me rumbling upstairs where it sounds like a wrestling match. We just we just Dare yeah, how dare you which cameras on how dare you how dare all of you back on your own night? So if you heard that that was them up there. Yeah, yeah So no, but that legit scared the shit out of me Like I was looking at you and somebody was waving in a dark background She is she anyways at least they know we're not lying Yeah, we're just down here drinking beer I had to text Erik.

I'm like, put some shit together, man. Put up a fake camera, quick. Put some shit together. We've got to make this look legit. Yeah. Yeah, though. No, anyways. So I was laughing about that because I saw a thing. Rogan had one, and it was a clip about guys and girls are different. You know what I mean? It's not sexist. I'm not hating on women. He's like, even guys and guys are different. I turn around, and I'm at Shaq's dick level. You know what I mean? Bro. That's me, yeah. I'm 5'6". It happens a lot. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, so it's just... There was some event recently that Shaq was just, like, standing uncomfortably close to Kevin Hart.

It was pretty funny. As Kevin Hart turns around, he's like, get away from me. He's like, I know they're going to meme this. Like, get away from me. The biggest thing I ever saw was, like, Simone Biles, the Olympic star. She's, like, I don't know, 4'8"? I mean, I'm guessing. Around there. It was her, and then I think it was, like, I don't know a basketball player was like 6'5 and then there was like Yao Ming or something like that who was like 7'2 maybe so like over and it's like you don't understand like how big that is it's so big like for anyone who's ever been to an NBA game yeah like we've all been to a game and like and if you're in the nosebleeds you still don't understand but like if you get close like yes so I went to a Timberwolves game this a few months ago and we were pretty close and I'm like, this is fucking insane.

Like, these are monsters. You know what I mean? All of them. The shortest guy is 6'1". And then what they can actually do. The way they move. The way that they run and jump. And it's like, like I think about, you brought up Game of Thrones earlier. Yeah. I mean. Greatest show of all time until the last two seasons. Go ahead. But I don't know the guy. He was one of the wild. Oh, Peter Dinklage? Oh. Well, one of the wild guys, wildlings or whatever, that joined the fight at the end. Yeah. Beard oh, no, whatever torment when he's fighting the big guy needs of he's my favorite if I was you I'd fucking rule the world if I was Your size I'd rule the world Yeah, such a badass. Yeah, but yet he's a little you know these like if I was your size I fucking rule the world. Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah Spain I love that God he was my favorite when he makes that count It's like it is like you have these Littler guys with heart and spirit You know what I mean?

And then you got these big guys. It's like, if I was, you know, like that. Well, not to go. What's the old Rudy thing, you know? Exactly. Not to go on a marble kick, but like, I mean, if anyone's seen Captain America 1, it's like, he was the best person ever. His heart was of gold. All he cared about was everyone else, but he was a scrawny little piece of shit. Yeah. That's not what I mean. He was scrawny Well But then like he gets ejected He was a piece of shit He was just scrawny He was just scrawny Yeah Like getting his ass kicked all the time but for the right reasons Like defending the little people Doing the best he could Yeah And then he gets big and it like I going to fuck you all up now You know what I mean? This is trouble. And that's the thing. All the people who are that big and bad should have the hearts of gold. That would be the key. Or you should rule the world. Or that. You know what I mean? That's fine too. Maybe that's why they make. Yeah. It might be. So one more thing I want to touch on. What did you do last night because you you took my old spot you've replaced me which is pretty easy i was blanking here no i uh i got to play the dart league again last night i'm playing i used to play in a dart league years ago like no one we used to play like back in the day oh yeah i was i was pretty good back then i was in a dart league and and then we used to play as family like in the garage hanging out like you know your parents always had a board parents would always have that stuff going on and then a few years ago i got my dartboard out and was playing and all of a sudden i i felt pretty good the edge got tickled i was i was i was feeling pretty good and so eric asked me to join the team or sub in last night and i'm not we i we pissed him off right from the jump i think i think i went

triple 20 single 20 double 20 like you're really i like right from the first three I look over and he starts going, he's just laughing like this. And I'm like, whoever we were playing is like, what the fuck? He's like, I was like, sorry, man. I got lucky. And then, like, I went triple 18, triple 16. Jesus Christ. Well, no, because I was going for the 19s and I missed, but I hit a triple 16. And then I hit a triple 18. And I'm like, so, like, not even, like, nine darts in and I already have, like, four things. He didn't tell you that this is a rec league and you have to lay off a little bit? Well, no, because he was, because there was plenty of times that I didn't do well.

It was just the way that it opened up. I know. I'm not saying you're a dark shark. It was going like that, yeah. Because we, I mean, what did we do? We did three. The first game we were 2.6. Which is, that's huge. You do, yeah, it's three crickets, then two 7.01s. So we won two of the crickets and lost one, and then went one and one on the 7.01s. So, I mean, we won three and lost two. And you played a tough team, an awesome team. Yeah. Yeah, they're great. But we should have, we really should have won them all. But in the first three darts they said, oh, you brought a ringer, huh? Yeah. Yeah, it just came out.

I mean, it was like ding-de-ding-de-ding. Excuse me. Which is so funny. The lights are going off, and I'm like, I'm back, man. Again, we played a long time ago. But you haven't played like. No, I have been playing. I just haven't played in a league in a while. But my neighbor and I play all the time. Oh. Jim and I play all the time. You fucking sneaky fuck. But when we played down here, like. Oh, yeah, now it's a different story. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, when we played 7-1 down here, but yeah, then he didn't know I could close out others. You know what, I'm glad you replaced me. Well, and then when we went to 7-0-1, like, I closed this out on, like, a triple something, a double something, and then another double.

Oh, Jesus Christ. It was like, oh, he... That looks bad. It was, like, it was only when it would work when you'd sub in for something. Like, I felt, you know what I mean? But it was also, like... Like, they're going to have to bring you back to show you're normal, but then, like, you'll do it again, and they're like, we're done. But, I mean, in the longevity of the night, I played normal. It was just I had kicked it off really well. The games of 7-1 were funny because we both couldn't do shit until we got down to like. Well, we were getting beat by 300 points in the first 7-1. And you guys won that one?

Yeah. And then we both started hitting low tons. Yeah. And all of a sudden it was like. He hit one. It doesn't take much to catch up. He hit one. I hit one. He hit one. I hit one. And the next thing you know we're like. Oh. For the people who don't play darts, a low ton is at least 100 points. So they either hit two bulls or triple 20 and then 40 more or whatever. but yeah so anyways eric thanks for inviting me because that was it was actually it was a blast it's super fun it's super fun it's super fun it's good and so what you need to do it's a cool league and then then we stuck around and then divided out and played another that's that's even more fun to me but yeah i so like uh i'm not terrible but i'm not like that so like if you like want to be in that league you got to find like a governor is what i call myself well i even out the good person well I think and so actually now used to be in a couples league and so I think is that you know it's kind of one of those things like I'd like to keep my toe in and once the kids get to a point where it's like all right we're gonna join the league like she would okay so this brings up a better point let's say you guys join how do you guys do because I know how competitive Ashley is I know how good you are at darts I know she's decent at darts but she's probably not as good as you mm-hmm so how will that go oh I think she knows that like that's not I mean it'll piss her off you know she's like well we'll play it at the house she's like I'm done with this stuff you know whatever but like but she's also competitive enough that she'll do it yeah okay yeah yeah yeah well now we're on our team which like that sucks but then she'll be more of like what the fuck you do you can't hit it you know that's like the people like you used to play me in like goldmine like they were like I'm done this is stupid I'm like that's fair you know what I mean I mean we're building this up like I'm that way I came out of the game felt good and it was one of those like

And then that first game, but then I got to a few rounds. It's like, yeah, okay. I've been on a team with Erik for a long time, and he's gotten even better. So I understand where you're coming from. And not even to say Erik's the greatest player. There's a couple guys in the league who are, I would say, just as good as him. It just depends on how you do that night. The night where you're at. You know what I mean? Sometimes I feel in the – I can fucking hit a thing. Absolutely. Which is honestly what I did the best. Like, I think I have this, like, weird gene. Like, you would step up? All right, I guess I'm going to be here today.

Yeah, it's fucking weird. Well, if you're not going to play, then I suppose I'll have to. I need to join the league with two just fucking atrocious people, and I'll be, like, lights out. Like, you fucking post this. Yeah. There you go. I'm glad it was fun. I knew, like, it'd be fun, and you'd be the perfect sub and all that. Yeah, no, it was a blast. I love it. I miss it. It's something that I'm not ready to do it every week, because then coaching and... That's the thing. Like, I put too many other commitments, but I was like, actually I can't wait to throw tonight and she's like god you're like a little kid I'm like I know like big gang let's do this I got so jacked up could you not sleep the night before you were like no it wasn't that bad you were you fight for something like no I'm coming off the old uh you know the old test or the you know the old exam that's true yeah the old what the so I slept pretty good yeah that's fair yeah I just can't get over that I can't believe cuz hey hold on the The reason I bring that up, though, like, not to circle back too far, but, like, is...

No, it's not... Like, yeah. I don't want to dive too much into this memory. I don't want to... No, no, no. No. I don't want to uncork anything that anybody did. We set him up. He knocks him down. Yeah. But I just, like, a lot of people's worst fear in the world, I'm pretty sure this is, like, Adam has talked about this, like, is being put... Or, like, let's say being in a coma or being put under, whatever. But being able to... Like, because apparently there's a condition where that can happen, but you feel everything going on but you can't talk yes like that's scary right so i've had back surgery before that i've been out and then woke up and had no idea like i swear yeah i wasn't all the way out for no i dude i believe you 100 000 but it wasn't like yeah i don't know i mean no i so like yes i get that but yeah that's my thing is like can you like that's where it's like if you felt that first one and like let's say you went out but like you could feel everything granted it can't hurt that bad because there is no pain afterward i thought like yeah like if your butthole's being worked like it's gonna hurt i thought it was gonna hurt i thought like like i get like i'm not in pain while it's going on but afterwards i was gonna be a little tender i thought it'd be a little chicken tendy you know what i mean just a little bit like i wasn't expecting bruising or anything i was like jesus doc what are you doing there when I were to hear what's jack I don't know no but if they find like if they find like polyps like they like literally remove them so it's like I don't fucking like if you're going up there with fucking shredders fucking well

I'll tell you what fucking you know what I'm talking about the cave digging thing I'm like I don't fucking know man you know we don't I'm not a doctor you're like you know rational brain here right now in my head it was like I've been Get an IT guy as the producer. That's what I was worried about. Shaq was back there. Yeah, exactly. I was afraid Kevin Hart was up there, a.k.a. Shaq's dick. Just him on it. All right, so that other thing got a hit on. 25th hour. We talked about this. He did it. Okay. He did it, and I will, this is why we're friends. Hold on, you called me why we're friends. You called this.

I called this. So you we this got brought up when we were doing the little bar crawl thing we did or whatever And he brought up the 25th hour with Ed Lord and I'm like I've seen most of his movies I love that guy and you were like you've seen this movie out and I looked it up Read their synopsis looked at the poster. I was like I've never seen that movie No, and so you bet on my ass for fucking three weeks like watch The movie was shocked as hell like how would you how would I have seen you? Because it was when I saw it was in the thick of you like you're like you'd seen and I was into movies like hard Yeah, because that was like literally like so like 9-11 was around Yeah, and working at the movie theater we bring the home He's like you've ever seen this, you know, like literally why I got in a pool hall junkies and stuff like that So like this was post 9-11 this is like when we were renting movies like I like I won I was a regular at mr. Movies on Mount Vernon Road. You know what I mean? Like so I start watching No, yeah 2003 Dude, you're not at mr. Movies Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You're right, you're right, you're right. Because I would have been 20. I would have been 20. We were on the DVDs. You're right. There would have been more. Anyways, Black Buster. I was thinking like five years earlier. Yeah, you're right. So, but. 20 years at USO or something. Exactly. Yeah, like family video. No. Or I'm sure Blockbuster. Well. But even that. Anyways, whatever. It's still. Redbox. Or Redbox something. Yeah. You're still getting them. Family video. So, I start watching the movie and I'm like, okay, this is interesting. And I understand the premise right away. And it gets to like I don't know maybe 40 minutes in I'm like I've seen this fucking movie And I knew right away, but the beautiful thing was I couldn't I couldn't remember everything I remember I remembered some shit You know and I'll never forget I remembered like there's a fucking great monologue coming Yeah, but I couldn't remember when I couldn't remember what it was about like I knew it was about him going to away Yeah, I don't like by the way. This is another thing like spoilers. I'm like the fucking movies 30 years old Yeah, shut up go watch. Yeah, it's your fault if you haven't either way you'll know like what I said to you I go you're gonna know exactly the scene that I'm talking and it's and it was literally that and I was like I fucked this is such a good monologue you know what I mean and the end always fucked with me because it was like the multiple ways that they end it well the multiple ways it could have ended but like when you really watch it like you see like they had passed the turn so like he was going away yeah you know what I mean it wasn't like yeah that I love that like storybook what could have been.

And then all of a sudden... And he's basically passed out and it's over for him. Now, granted, it was seven years. Also, that's the other thing. I thought I remembered him going away for way longer. I'm like, that's not really that long. Well, the funny thing is I need to watch it again because after I rode your ass by myself, I was starting to see my... You fucking asshole! I just hadn't seen it. I mean, I hadn't seen it in a while. She was like, it's so good. I watched it once in 1997. No, I watched it multiple times. I watched it multiple times. It's a good movie. But what did you say about it that brought it up?

It was something about the dog. Doyle. Yes. But what were we talking about that brought that up? Do you remember? You get upset about dogs. Yeah. I can't see animals dying. That's right. Because we were talking about that being a big thing while we were out. Your daughter's trying to come in. Yeah. And it was a big part about it. And then I was like, well, watch this. Because this is where it's not great in the beginning. And at the end, you're like, that's the coolest dog in the whole life. The best dog. He's the goodest boy. Yeah, yeah, which especially from when like how they introduce him and what happens. It's like, oh, what a good boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can't watch it. I can't. I mean, I've seen him. But like, like, I can, I can tell you certain movies. We should probably save this for another one. But like certain movies with like a kid or a dog. I just I can't watch. Sure. There was one movie that like, I'll just say this quick with like kids. I didn't know what happened. I knew it was gonna be a sad movie. I didn't know what it was about. And it was called The Lovely Bones. I will never watch that movie again. Never heard of it. Don't watch it.

I never heard it. Nope, don't watch it. And I'll leave it at that. But like anything that's said about kids or like, like what is that dog movie everyone's like, you're what? Oh, Marley and me. And I was like, I'm good. And they go, why? I'm like, well, because they can tell from the trailer that dog's not going to live. And they're like, you don't know that. And they go, I never saw it. I know he dies. And then guess who's never going to watch it? I never saw it either. Yeah, didn't they shoot him in the fucking head? That's way worse. No, nope. Fuck you, you devil. I am not watching that yellow This is the part Right when he's petting him for the last time I return on me like he just loved his dog What's that music starts playing you know you're out I'm good. No, I'm good. I'm just not gonna watch it. How about that? Yeah, no, I can't do it man. I can't do it yellow lab too. That's what I'm saying.

It's a little too close to the, yeah, it's dark thing. Alright, well we need to end this because I'm going to cry. Talking about my dog dying. We're not. We're talking about old yeller. What if I called... They're not all your dog. That's true. My dog's Irish as fuck. He's a leprechaun. My dog's red. He's a yellow lab that's red. Well, I have a... I have a... You have a gray lab? I have a gray that was a brown chocolate lab. Yeah. He, like, changed overnight. Yeah. All of a sudden, at four, he went gray. It was, but that's so weird. Yeah. And now he's. But honestly, he looks way better. Like, he was like.

Oh, you know what's hilarious? He came out of a stallion on the other side. Yeah, but then it was like, he had to have, like, a surgery, like, a little thing, and they cut off, shaved him all the way down, grew back. That spot is dark brown. Hold on. Even when it grows out? Yeah. What? That part is, like, where they had to skin him. So it's almost I said actually we just skin it'll be like he'll look like he's like hey Can you snip just that part so he's talking about skinning dogs? I just wanna that's Hey, that's one way to get followers. We get all the bird this shot of horno knows he made me do he skins dogs alive so Put that on YouTube there. We go. That's exactly what we don't need well another good week another great week Where are we at with that? Yeah, yes, Joe. Yeah, all right Dad joke of the week.

So I broke up with my girlfriend because she was a communist. I should have seen all the red flags.

I don't know if these are always going to stay dad jokes, by the way. You've had some that are hit or miss where they're just like, yeah, I like it. Yeah, at some point, I laughed at three that were totally inappropriate jokes before I got to this one. So what if we just ramp up and like we start rating them and every week we go up by like just 1%. I'm thinking that eventually we're going to be able to do. We're like two months. We're telling just the worst. Or I'm thinking eventually we do a date back show where we rate some of our performances through some of these. Yeah, that's fair. That's a good one.

It's like, I don't think that's a good idea. Well, so like. I think we could come out with a rating one through 10 on dad jokes and what was the best and the worst. Oh, that. Oh, yeah. Like a top 10 list. Yeah, I like that. I do like top tens. Well, we could do that. And then the dad joke of the day could become the inappropriate dad joke of the day because we're still cool, right? That's true. I do want to say, eventually, I have the greatest would you rather ever. You've been dangling this character around for a while. Is that what you're trying to think of today? No, no. But I just remembered that I want to say it.

I don't know when I'm going to drop it. Once all the episodes have dropped and once we're in the potential new thing we're doing, it's so fucked up. It's so fucked up. It's so fucked up that there's no right answer. There's absolutely no right answer. Sometimes it doesn't answer. No. I can tell you that. There is no right answer. It just sucks. But you've got to pick one. You've got to pick one. Oh, I do like Woody Rathers. I love Woody Rathers. We'll do that around the dinner table sometimes. But this one is the first one ever where I was like, I don't want to play this anymore. Where I would raise my hand and be like, I need an adult.

Somebody help. I'm out. I'm good with adding those. Let's get it. Yeah. All right, brother. All right, boys. Another week. Another good one. Thank you for a good run. Yeah, man. Thanks, guys.