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Ep. 32Sep 24, 20251:24:39

Get that man a statue!

Things get a little bit crazy in the sequel episode to The Notebook! Come join us for an episode you will not want to miss!

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Quotes from this episode

We're finally going to get cancelled.

Ep. 32 @ 00:04:08

I think it's funny that we think we're going to be able to make another episode after this one.

Ep. 32 @ 00:05:47

Closing joke

Vote on every joke →

What was Osama bin Laden's favorite pizza order? Two large planes.

Not a dad jokeErikEp. 32 @ 01:21:32

Show notes

Things get a little bit crazy in the sequel episode to The Notebook! Come join us for an episode you will not want to miss!

Transcript

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Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

Do you think our love can make miracles? I do. I do for real.

That is a quote from The Notebook. The Notebook. you know that first episode about the notebook was such a hit well you know and my mind doesn't turn off so there's always something to fucking notebook just keep getting talk shit about pages just keep we gotta keep up these notebook episodes guys because his brain doesn't stop and he's gotta write them down so did they ever make a sequel to the notebook I don't think they did well no because they died spoiler alert well I didn't watch it because I have a vagina so well yeah I watched the hell out of it I mean, not that good. I'll tell you what, when you go to our house, when you watch it with the lady, you get laid every time. So it is like you watch it. So I missed that play.

I will say it's pretty guessable. What, what happened, but still it's like, yeah. All I remember about that movie is the fuck. Cause it turned into a meme for so many men who it's like the woman's like, let's go out to eat. What do you want? Sorry. My fantasy football football is going off. I thought my bad. I like football from six to midnight over here. Yeah. We scored again. Yeah. Yeah. We're missing a barn burner, a game seven to three. So I think we'll be okay. But yeah, I just remember him always being like, what do you want? She's like, I don't know. What do you want? That's how every time you want to eat out. I'll say that's the best part of it. We've all been through that. Whether like restaurant you want to be just pick three places and I'll pick. And then you say, well, not that one.

God damn it. That's why I'm not picking. I'm not picking it. I'm not, I'm done. Like you lost me. Yeah. Put my foot down. Yeah. Well, we are back for another one. We're back for another one. We are going to do another notebook episode. So I'm pretty excited about it, pretty excited about it here. But again, thanks for joining us for our regular listeners. Welcome back. It's always happy. It's always nice to have you back here again. Get your drink ready for the new people joining us. Welcome. Thank you for joining us On the we're still cool, right? That's right. Thanks Mike. This is the we're still cool, right?

I just always wanted to do a radio voice and I want to try it try it again. That's what it wasn't very good Good again. That was good. Hey No, I can't Remember like the Casey case like like from fucking Scooby-Doo Yeah, anyways, this is the we're so cool right podcast and so if you're new joining us we do like to open up with a shot Actually just for a drink with with everybody here, so it's different every time. It's just for every time But just to get us started. I'm Shaun. I'm moist Mike, and I'm Erik. Now Mike is coming back I thought I thought I lost the last episode. You know, I just I like to make you think it's gone and then just reappear I guess can expect you to be like to keep it moist so like herpes. I'm just a gift that keeps on giving So that's what we call that adult acne the other day Oh gross!

No! Where? Oh, God. Holy fuck. It made me want to take a shower just hearing that. Yeah, so... The favorite thing I've heard about herpes is when people talk about glitter and they're like, Yeah, it's the herpes of the craft world. I'm like, that's true. You think you got rid of it, you didn't get rid of it. Some shit follows you back from Vegas and herpes is one of them. Alright, well, we do have... I'm sorry, I was distracted. We do have a shot in front of us here. It's more like a bomb to me. That Erik... Yeah, but the other drink of the week, the drink of the week is called the Oppenheimer.

Oh, fuck's sake. So what we have for you here is what's involved in the open. We have a Japanese beer. Good God. I chose Sapporo. We're finally going to get canceled. We did it. And we have a shot of American whiskey. And you're going to drop it in there like a bomb. Why did it why did it have to be Jap- nevermind I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. So we went with the Cody Road bourbon. So you get a little shot of Cody Road bourbon in your Japanese beer. Before we do this, I want to say, I think I said this on the podcast this time if I did, but have I talked about the funny video clip of the guy in the theater during Oppenheimer?

Yes. Okay. Yeah. Cuz that just any time I hear that I just think of that like three, two, one. Pfft. So, having said that. Let's drop the bomb, baby. Let's drop the bomb. Oh geez cheers Erik we might need some music for this one because this is gonna take a bit We don't usually chug 12 ounces Hey, I didn't even need the timer the music Oh boy Good job champs tastes like radioactive waste Oh Too soon Erik you're fucking fired Hey, you know what I'd rather have that all day versus something with fucking Tabasco sauce. I would agree and I should say It's just the bubble I get from like chugging that like yeah, I was gonna do the Pearl Harbor, but I don't have any Japanese whiskey Well stay tuned I'm sure that's coming We'll save that for like the date of it happening or something like that.

Guys, we're a history podcast. The only reason we do this stuff is to teach the younger generation about historical events. I think it's funny that we think we're going to be able to make another episode after this. That's a good point. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Sound off in the comments. How much do you hate us right now? No. Our view count spikes and then we're gone. Here's the thing. We just like having fun. So I will say. Can't laugh. This is the wrong podcast. honestly it was pretty good it was pretty good but that cody rhodes is good so yeah the japanese beer i think is is way better not chugging i mean it's not an amazing beer i've always liked sapporo but i always thought it's not a chugger like i'm sipping on it while i'm having some teppanyaki yeah i just don't think i don't think i've had a ton of it but i didn't feel very it's very just light i don't you know what i mean so like with the whiskey in there i just felt like I don't know. All I could taste was more of that. You got more risky. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

I got more. I got more Cody roads. And so it really actually, it wasn't, I was more cringing because of the amount of liquid I just drank that I was a lot actual the flavor. I guess I'll be like a champ. The flavor was not our first rodeo guys to impress you. This is actually a go for it. I'll be honest when I first saw the Sapporo in the fridge, I was like fucking sake bombs. I used to be able to count to 10 because my grandpa would do it all the time, but I don't remember anymore. If it wasn't for fucking sake bombs, I'd have. I used to be able to do it. I took a class back in high school. So one time, mainly because I wanted to try the food.

Fair. uh ashley this was back when before we had kids ashley's boss invited us out for dinner with like him and his wife so it was like us four so this was like ashley's first like big girl job you know i mean and and we're like meeting the she knew him or whatever and we had hung out before and him and i got along so he's like we should go out to dinner and i'm of course you know i'm like jackass just drinking or whatever like when we're having fun or whatever and so we go out for dinner and we're at Pays. Oh, shit. But it was like when they had their sushi bar, all that stuff. And so they're like, we always come here and get sushi. And I was like, okay.

So we're eating sushi, and they fucking love sake. And we're trying. They know. They would go there so much. They knew the fucking girl that was doing everything. We're doing Jagerbombs after Jagerbombs. Or I am. He keeps getting me doing. I try fucking unpasteurized fucking sake. It was fucking gross. I doesn't sound good like I'm hammered holding it together. You know, we're walking out the car to the car Ashley's like she's driving home and We're just like standing there and whatever and finally like they get in the car and go and the minute he pulls out of the driveway I'm just like I held it together so it wasn't anything like that, but it was I Know I became like his entertainment like oh, he'll do another one Yeah, exactly and I'm just like whatever and I kept doing it like trying to impress him and poor Shaun's like whatever pays the bills And then he leaves you with the tab Good like that, but I was like trying to hold together and she's like oh my god Did he see you? I'm like I fucking hope not See this and you guys don't have to say yours but like this is something that recently someone said something about throwing up and i was like i haven't thrown up from drinking since i was like 21 like i but no but here's the thing is maybe 22 but like i don't i just my body just shuts like i go i gotta go to bed i go to bed

and i'm fine and i i mean feel like i've also never thrown up the next day ever really never This day is terrible. That sounds terrible. It's the worst. Our buddy, now you're going to say his name. He only throws up the next day if he, and obviously it's been many years because we have kids and stuff. Now this was when we were young, but he was the loudest vomiter ever too. So he'd like, you'd be going home and he's just like, oh no. And he'd like walk to the bush. You're like, oh fuck. And he'd be like, and you're like, oh my God. Like the soul left his body. But yeah, I feel bad for people that like just throw up.

Like that would suck. When he vomits, does it sound like a sheep? Like stuck in a, I mean, honestly, an electric fence. Yeah. While like being cornholed. Yeah. It's not good. It's loud. So South park when he goes like, is there a draft dying over there? And he goes, wah, wah. Yeah. So did I ever tell you about, did I ever share on here about the time that I got sick, like in Iowa city after we stayed in a dorm room one night and all right. So it was like 21. All right. So it was 20 with Thursday night. you know, they, I would say he always had the, the, what bar were you at when I Jake's summit? Oh, we would always go to vetoes. We'd always sit up on the ledge. So like you'd sit up on the ledge and we just sit there and drink and you'd see all the girls you can see down their tops and it was, you know, the whole deal or you dare, you know, whatever. But we would go there all the time. So we got to know everybody, you know, and then whatever cheap drinks and everything.

And that was back when you can smoke in bars, we'd sit up there to be spoken heaters or whatever, sitting on this little ledge or whatever. Anyways, we're, we party, you know, do shots. One of the guys knew somebody that was a bartender there. So we got all these shots for free. We ended up going back and I'm with a buddy and his girlfriend and she's in the dorms. And so we were, we were down from a, from Cedar Rapids. And so we're staying like in the dorm next morning, we have to get up cause him and I have class at Kirkwood. So we're getting to head back and I'm like I'm in rough shape. Right. But I'm, we're standing in like some girls, we're on the girl's floor. Like, so you have to like sneak out of there and there's no bathroom I can go into or anything like that. And it's like, we're coming our way out. And all of a sudden I like start coughing just like a, whatever cough. And all of a sudden I'm like, Oh, I'm gonna throw off. And I am walking out of the dorm, like on the fuck it's Friday morning at 9am, you know, kids are like, whatever I'm I come down the stairs from the front door and just throw up and My buddy that's with me is like just keep moving dude. Keep moving. So my girl up hits the smut keep going throw It's Breadcrumbs ever it was though I was like I Never want to crawl like it was the worst like it was just like You know everyone's just looking me laughing whatever we have to like get on a fucking cam bus to get to like our car It's like oh god, okay, but there was the funniest part about that is like that brings new meaning to the whole walk of shame

Honestly, yeah, you're like all my clothes, but I have zero dignity none of the fun and none of the fun Right like I did not get like I just I just crashed out Yeah, I had to deal with that so it was isn't that weird Don't I went shout out to Shaun Luke who like helped me get through it so Shaun Luke You just told me to come walking through your own puke No, like no I was like, oh, they're busy. So like I would do it off to the side and he's like, just keep like, don't like, don't sit there and draw attention to it. Just keep moving. Keep moving. And it was, yeah, everyone's like, I mean, that's a choice.

You know, I think I would have been like, just jump in a bush. Like I like, there was no, no, no, we walked out of the building or something. Yeah. I don't remember which one we walked out of, but there wasn't, there wasn't, that wasn't enough. It was just why I keep going. Otherwise, I mean like just run over behind. there was all cement, the fucking road, the walking path. There was nowhere I could duck into. It kind of makes sense, but quick goat thinking on his part. Cause it's, it's like, if you just sit there and throw up and just you're bent over, people start staring. But if you just throw up and keep walking, someone might've saw it, but they're like, shit, he's done. And they're going to look away. Like, so instead of like a group forming 14 people that they were like, I think I saw a guy, but I'm not really sure. People throwing up like, dude, I'm sorry. But if it's like busy outside and there's a dude hunched over just barfing like for a couple minutes. I just try not to look. I'm like, Oh, I agree. But you're like, okay, this is 20. I probably wasn't even 21 yet. And I probably was 21. The problem was 20 or 21. It was college, whatever, you know? And so I probably wasn't, um, that's why he was like, keep walking.

Yeah. Don't try to probably watch it. That makes way more sense. But it was both. It was seriously like combo like just keep fucking moving like because but I mean I don't know anyway so I just that's an embarrassing story that I think about. This is not like a fun topic for everyone at home but it needs to be talked about like you've all been there. We've all been there. Most of us moved past it but I remember I actually I literally remember the last time I threw up I just can't remember what age I was but it was young probably 22. Oh for sure yeah it was 22 it was and they came out with that captain Morgan tattoo stuff. It was like dark. It was disgusting. We went to a house party and like me and a buddy, like basically just shared a bottle of it on top of like drinking keg beer and stuff like that. And we're going home and I'm just like, Nope. Like it's just not good. You know, I remember back when we drank enough where like a car ride was like, that was the final seal. You're like, ah, this is not going to go well. Like when going through your face and you're like, I just remember being at the Collins stoplight, I think TJ was driving and I was like, I'm gonna get sick. He goes, you better get out the window and he starts turning as I'm throwing up. So I just sprayed the biggest intersection in Cedar Rapids basically like So you were like so he didn't turn into it. He turned away from it. So yeah, just like hose The whole intersection we're like later a half

20 years ago. Yeah, God. Yeah, yeah, and now I live right by then. Yeah, but it's just funny because I'm like I'll never forget it, but yeah, I'm just I'm very thankful I don't get sick like my body just goes hey. Hey, bud. Let's go to bed I don't anymore either if it happens. It's because something random happened where like you I know I'll get someone will bring fucking moonshine. You know I'll have something that but see my Overdue or something like that right or shots or shots or something like that. Well, you know, we'll try something like that. I call the kettle black right here. All of a sudden then it'll be what the hell happened, you know, on the bedspinning. But that is, I just don't, I just don't drink like that.

Yeah. These are just old college stories of like, you know, when we were, we didn't, we don't drink like that now. But the funny thing is some people just throw up. Like they just can't, like they, they have one too many and they're like, Oh, and they like get sick and they go to bed for the night. I just don't get like that. I'm like, oh, I maybe I feel like I've had one too many. I'm like, I got to go to bed and I go to bed and I wake up and I'm fine. It's weird. I don't know. Speaker 0 6.: Like A, I don't drink as much and B if I don't, I just don't generally get to my it's it's normally like, cause some random thing I, I tend to get caught up in the moment and that's where it happens. You know what I mean? Like you both, there was a, it was like, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then we were shook him down and all of a sudden we had how many and then it gets a little spinny, but even now I'm, I'm growing out of it a little bit. Yeah.

But I am a sucker for attention. You know, it's not even a good time. Well, I definitely like attention to the wrong word. Cause I like, you're, you're not like one of those guys. It's like, I need to be the center of attention. You know what I mean? But we can all agree. I generally don't get in a group and I'm not one of the loudest. Like I do like, like we've documented on here. I like to make sure that I think it is funny. When we started this, I was afraid of being like too loud. Cause I know like, especially if I have a drink or whatever, I get a little loud and I'm like, Oh, thank God I did this with Shaun.

I just get excited. I just love the moment. I love having fun. Feel these nipples. I just love the, I'm here for a good time. I just, I just want, we're not here for a long time. Yeah, I'm here for a good time. And so I can get caught up in it when the vibe hits right. Like then I can get a little too much, but thank God I've grown up just a little bit on the, you've grown up just as much as you need to. Cause you know, the whole thing is like you're as young as you act or whatever. It's like, well, I'm always going to be a fucking fool. I just know that like I accept it. I mature when I have to be for my kids, but also my kids even know like dad swears a lot. Dad is voice dress and he's always having a good time and he's always messing around. Like that's just me, you know? Well, I would say you and I kind of lay it right out on the table. There ain't nothing to hide. There's a lot of people that hide their fucking crazy shit.

They might not be the biggest ones in there, but they're out. We do walk into a room dick first, but we don't follow far behind So you guys know the punch arrows over on Edgewood Road like yeah, oh yeah by Nick and Jen. Yeah long one like yeah long One time for a second. I thought that was a story. No, please continue I it was just the whole stories got me. So I walked in there and I'd had a rough night the night before. And this was, I mean, shit, it's probably been 10 years. So you walked in at like noon? I was just saying, so you walked in. Yeah, I walked in at like maybe lunchtime, 11 o'clock.

It was like, I woke up, need to go get some food. Aaron and I were together is the problem. But like we had both had a rough night. So we got up, we went in there, we were getting lunch. I walked in Got halfway in and there's a trash can on the right and I just fucking No, oh no right out the side To get burritos to train like well that's a hangover, but that's did she just leave to her did she order food? She was in shock for a minute. She got food. She did get food. Did she get your burrito? To you Reno I actually didn't want one I was like I think that she needed it more than like hit me and I was like And I can't now yeah, like it was so fucked up like I actually didn't eat punch arrows for a little bit It wasn't that there. It was nothing but no You know it's fucked up because if you would have got that puncher you'd have been healed I probably would have been that thing is that that puncher is a healer I will say it's doing it comes down to I just I caught a whiff of some of the food and just oh Yeah, I was like I will so there's two times. There's a trash can right there. Oh, dude There wasn't I would've been really bad you would've been on the news I would have went to the bathroom or tried to make it to try you or just bow face gone to the parking lot like I do Yeah, just keep going man. You just keep going. But again, that's like quick go right again. You got it. Yeah, you know You make the noise and then it's yeah So there's two things you said panchero's I want to say I just had I have had Pitino ponchairs whatever. Well, I don't know because I don't need there and

there's a reason. Cause once you have Chipotle, it's not this fuck yourself. Are you serious? Are you so much better than Pancheros? So much? Hold on. Are we talking sober drunk? The answer is the same chipotle is better Okay so here what else I have I have to have a strong opinion on this matter Okay because are we gonna throw down I had punch arrows before I had Chipotle same I guess I had players at the very original location and I was said I have to say this to Erik though Because you're the first one that brought me Chipotle and I was like this is amazing I've had it like a lot since it's so much better, but go ahead. So what I will say is It used to be punch arrows was like prime ingredients the hand the hand pressed tortilla all of that like the tortilla makes it for sure by far and it's still they can hold in 40 pounds of things yeah if you had those tortillas at any other burrito restaurant now we're talking to competition yeah my problem with chipotle being in the competition is they just take a store-bought tortilla and steam it and it's not the same okay their ingredients in my opinion are better yeah so if you took their ingredients and put it in a panchero's tortilla they might win so now i can tell you why they win i don't like i'm old i have to watch the calories and the carbs a little bit i do the burrito bowl so i'm i'm doing just all ingredients so they have a lot of salad yeah it's better the steaks part of the chicken's better okay the salad in any of it but well i get you don't

Fucking like you don't like the right you see me eat the rice No, I'm a little bit of rice rice is better punch arrows tortilla is better So but like in there case oh is better Yeah, I'll give them the case though But everything else is better dude. My problem with punch arrows is Consistency when it comes to yes steak and chicken and pork You can go one day and it's fucking baller. It's a nice next day. It's like what the fuck did you burn this? I've had a lot like somebody smoked a cigarette in it It's like so many just like college kids work there and stuff and some of them just don't care But I will I will throw it back to I remember the first time I had it in Iowa City and I had never heard of it This is a weird story But we went to hang out me and TJ with a friend of his who he used to work for and it was like his old manager We this is big in the Nintendo 64 days. We were obsessed with perfect dark, which was the Kind of sequel to her dude. I'm so good. I bought the expansion module so I could play. Yeah. Oh, yeah The only old amazing I still own a Nintendo 64 and perfect dark and gold night because I Murdered at it. I lost my ass for years and I was like I'm just gonna get better and then I murdered everybody Anyway, how many chicks I got with this bro Look at this kill record. Are you kidding me right now? The girls were lining up to tell me to fuck off so But this guy was like, let's go get panchero

I was like we've been playing go perfect dark for like eight hours and I was like what the fuck is that he goes You haven't had panchero's I'm like no again, I was like 17 maybe and he took us and I was like this is a game-changer and I was obsessed with it for years But it just it fell apart. Cedar Rapids ones are terrible man I don't know if I don't want your bad days. I'm going to disagree. Like, I think punch arrows on its best day beats most places. I do. I do agree. That's a little well, we're talking about, right? Let's just keep it. I'm just, I'm just saying I believe in there once. So let's just say, let's go to Chipotle roll in all right. So on its best day, when you get the primo the person takes care of it you know has pride in it all right it's really good yeah i like it the best yeah do you remember the one up from our house so that when we all lived different apartments like kind of all by each other like oh yeah you were over there were you yeah on tamer street yeah yeah remember the poncheros up there were you we used to go out remember we'd get a cab back to that poncheros no i don't remember that oh Fuck you break my heart. No, I don't I don't was I still live in there then?

So I don't know we're old now. It's hard to remember You know what I very young well, I remember that was We didn't have kids that that was like when punchers was like it was still small there They probably only had you know it was only it was like maybe one of the first ones So anyways, we used to get a bar. Oh, you just get a cab because there was that was there's no fucking Uber and by the way for anyone that needs to know the number it's three six five oh five oh, but go ahead century cab They're on do they still exist? Well, yeah, I think so. Let's call him. It was you ready to call me Or was the other one on the microphone one four four four is yellow cab. What do I say?

I just ask if they're still in business. No, just hang up to see if they answer. That's a dick move Why I don't know just say no just say like No Gone bro. It's over one four four four is that is yellow. I'm gonna get this on both of them. What was it three? What I don't it's through it, but it's one four four four. I don't know if it's three six five or oh my god That's so sad. I mean it makes sense like the fact that cabs stuck around as long as they did after uber and lyft hitting is I have one Yeah, it's bigger He doesn't have not speaker I do Did they hang out They some, but someone said something. Yeah. So somebody answered that number, but it might guys, it promises. Hold on. I'm going to call someone to ask if the refrigerator is still running. Who should I call? Can you, oh my God, should I literally do it right now? Yeah.

But I need a random number. I can't, I can't like, you can't. Oh, it's still available. Now it's called Cedar Rapids, Cedar Rapids and the yellow cab. So I, that was it combined. Okay. Yeah. One of them won and bought the other one out. Yeah. It makes sense. Anyway, I'm sorry to go on that tangent, but yeah, like I, I don't know. I love Chipotle now. I hate that it's in Lindale. Cause like, that's the only, like I have to park and walk in. Like I would love it to be a more its own place, but I think it's better, man. Well, okay. I used to feel like, okay, I'm going to support punch arrows because they're smaller business and they are still smaller business.

Chipotle is owned by fucking Pepsi. So like, wait, Really? Yeah. Swear to God. I didn't know that. Well, now, but even the guy that started, like, whatever. They've been known by Pepsi for years. And it wasn't started in Iowa. I mean, the Contreras started in Iowa City. Dude, that Iowa City one of eight. The first one was in Iowa City. The second one was in Madison, Wisconsin. And there was only two for a long time. And then they franchised it out. And so now, like, it's still, like, people own it. It's like when you go to a subway. There's some subways where you're like, damn, they really care about their subs.

and there's some other ones where you're like, that guy didn't give a fuck. Yeah. Well, so to my point about our thing, what I was talking about earlier was we used to get a cab again from downtown out there. We get dropped off there. There were these two guys that were, I would have called them nerds, but who knows what they have. Maybe they fucking run the world now, but it was these two guys that always close. So they were open till like three in the morning, right? Jeff Bezos and these two guys. And it was these two dorks, like whatever, like straight up. And I say this loosely cause maybe they might be the coolest people now, but in their time there were like, we'd show up and they'd be pounding Mountain Dew because they're like, we just got a new video game and we're playing all night when we get off here. But they could fucking make some goddamn burritos. Like, I mean, literally like they would, they took their time. They'd be like, Hey, have you ever had to double wrap? Have you ever had it? Like they make longer. They'd fuck around the whole thing. They loved us.

there every weekend. Cool guys. We're all whatever. Then all of a sudden one of the guys started getting laid. He got a girlfriend and it just wasn't the same. And the other guy told us about how he's like, he's never around now. He's got this girlfriend now that blah, blah, blah. See, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So then fucking burritos went downhill. Yeah. But it was no. That's hilarious. Yeah. I was like for a second when you start telling the story, I was like, was it, was it TJ and I, so you said making burritos. I was like, oh, nevermind. Like we just, I mean, if you two worked at Ponchero's, this would have been a little bit, but yeah, but a little bit, a little dorkier though. Like, I mean like, yeah, cause they're a little, it would have been longer before they got laid too. Yeah. I mean, think about when, think about jokes you when you thought you would drink Mountain Dew and stay up all night fifth sixth grade maybe yeah that'd be your thing I mean but I'm saying when I started when you thought that that would work it is actually be legit to do that you know whatever okay these guys were over 21 you know what I mean oh yeah but like right around 20 and so let's call it 2020 although like not but so they found women a little yeah and that's they found a little late and then like the rest You know what once you get a here's what I promise guys right now whatever age they are They're still thinking those were the glory days because that's the thing man like at the end of the day

Like I hope they are I hope they're like right in those fucking dipshits you show Dude the best days of my life were like I swear to God those days where we would like have land parties And like we'd set up all the systems and we'd be playing video games and just like even even when we got old enough to drink beer It was like that was still the shit. You know what I mean? So but dude like Adam and I used to play Madden and shit like that and I don't like talking about it because he beat me like 99 to 1 but It's like it was bad Like he's all the time. I'm talking to all-time record like I he probably beat me 90% of the time I'm just a record 99. Oh, not not one more Jesus Christ, no, no, I gotcha. Also. It's impossible to get one. Mm-hmm. It's only a score it's impossible to get in football. Oh, you're right. But no, like, but I see what you're saying.

It's just like, I can't, I just, I don't know. Football games were not my thing to me. I've never been good at the sports games. No, never. Which is funny. I like watching them. I don't care for playing with them because I'm not very good, but like, but if you watch a lot of the guys online that are like super good, it's nerds. It's not guys like maybe they like sports, but they look like the dorkiest, nerdiest people you'd ever imagine. I played sports games. I didn't know i i like you didn't play fighting games or yeah uh the most i did was uh street fighter when it was like the actual video game remember when i had up at the camera the come and go up there yeah doing it like when we played that thing that was do you remember your favorite person to play um right ryu ryu yeah mine was chunli and i think it was because she was hot but still Oh man. Or who was that? She had some early physics. The, the beast, Blanca, Blanca, yeah. We're electrocuted. Yeah.

I was a killer instinct guy. I like killer instinct. Dude, that game was so awesome. And okay. So I was talking about this recently. Cause like we went to Davenport and we went to one of those video game bars and it was like, it's last weekend. They were going out of business and it's sad, but then like, there's like, quarter. Those are so good, but it's just, they don't work well, but cause it's expensive. It's expensive to go there when you're like, did we seriously just spend like fucking $200 playing old? Like, I mean, it was fun, but like right when we were in high school, we'd go to tell, I would stay there all day and spend $20 and I'm talking all day, like seven hours. I mean, so there's, there's places that do make it work. I think they don't have those games though i can't remember the last time i saw killer you gotta be in the big city you gotta have like up down up down kansas city up yeah i've been in both of those which is great i think they're great because they're like two stories they got all the different games yeah and they keep them up like they're not all broken to shit like no every once in a while you run into one that's shut down because it's that happens like yeah you can't have someone on staff 24 7 that fixes those things your fucking games are broken that's i'm never coming back like it's not worth my time. Well, it's like, do you remember the place? I know this is not the same thing, but like we all have kids when the PlayStation was like kind of shitty years ago. I remember the last time I took my kids, I went and like, I got, you know, 20 bucks for each of them and tokens and we were going to go play games to two out of like 22 games worked. And I'm like, why are you selling tokens? Like you should show this game room down at this exactly.

And I was like, I went up and complained. Like I wasn't a Karen about it, but I was like, is this it? And they're like, well, this one we're working on right now. So it's going to be up anytime. I'm like, Oh, thank you. So three, but I was like, okay, now that place, some owners took over and they care about it. And it's awesome now, now that my kids are too old to go, but regardless, you got to keep that stuff up, man. But I think that they're also, at least what I saw recently on Facebook, they're putting in some older kid shit now too. Well, so they're making a huge one. Yeah. Uh, and it's at the same place or is it? No, no. I think that was actually going to close when the new one opens. I want to say it's up by the airport, but I might be wrong, but it's like massive, massive, like, I think they have like a skylines or what zip lines and it's huge. So, which is great. Cause like kids need shit to do. There's only, but it's gotta be affordable, dude. You can't go there and be like $75. Like my kids are hustlers. They, they do great. Like they babysit, they make money like in like Cooper's eighth grade, you know, it's Sophie's like babysits like all summer, like does really well. You know, she, she basically has like a full-time job, you know what I mean? And in the summer, but like they'll burn through their money, but even them, let's start looking at, they go, this is dumb. I don't want to do this anymore. And I go, and it's funny to hear them say it.

Cause you're like, that's a sign. So Cooper loves golfing. Right. And so like even him, like he was always on me, dad, can I go to, I'm like, I would pay for a little bit, but I'm like, but I can't pay for you to go golfing two to three times a week. Like, you know, or it's a lot of like when you and I go like after we're done, like we're over 50 bucks closer to a hundred all the time. Well, and you're willing to throw more down because you guys are making memory. We are. He's just going off with his friends. That's a different story. And I love, sorry, 50, but we're a hundred going to one 50, like, you know, whatever, like what we're doing.

And it's like, I love to do it. I used to do it with my dad all the time, but I'm like, but you have to understand that this is a lot and then it's like and your mom and sister aren't here either so then like if we're gonna roll out and have this kind of time and then they're gonna go roll out and have something that matches it's like also more burning like through like whatever 300 bucks for like just this little john you'd be a little frustrated with me well so i'm like dude I'll you've been working, you know, you've been, he's been, he watches the neighbor's dogs and does, you know, found his little hustle and does really well.

And all of a sudden he wants to start playing golf. I'm like, I'll drop you off whenever you want to go golf. No big deal. I think it's awesome. Go for it. Like I'm just getting busier now that I don't necessarily want to do it. And you and I can play every now and then. And obviously anytime you're with me, I'm picking up the tab, but like whatever, if you want to go with your buds, I'll drop you off, but you're going to pay. the other day he went this weekend three times and he goes dad I don't think I can I don't think I can do this anymore I go why I'm like did you get like beat up pretty bad he's like no I shot the best round ever but he goes I'm looking at my account I don't have any money left I'm like I'm down to like this much money and I'm like because instantly me as a banker I'm like what do you mean don't have any money like do you is your fucking account overdrawn like you know I'm Like, what do you mean? Like, what do you mean? You don't have money? He's like, I mean, I just don't have, I don't have any, I go show me your, I lost it.

Show me online right now. Like, you don't have no. So I look at it. He's smart enough that he has money, but like even him, it has his own boiling, which also makes me proud because what he told me is number where he's broken. I'm like, okay. Yeah. Cause I, as long as you keep that as your broke point, you're going to do. Okay. Exactly. Like as, as a young man, like you're going to be okay. And that'll keep expanding. But it's funny hearing a kid that age be like, I'm broke. It's like, I can't believe it's that expensive. I don't even know. Like, how do they even charge me that much? I'm like, that's the thing.

And we've complained about this before with so many things. And I know it makes it sound old, but I know also know everyone listening agrees. Like the price of things is just like, you cannot keep up with it. It's eventually something's got to give, you know, inflation doesn't go backwards and we're not political. We don't talk about that stuff, But I'm just saying like when inflation skyrockets faster than it's supposed to, it's, it may slow down a little bit, but you don't, it never goes back. It never goes backwards. It's never going to come back down. When you go from like 2010, let's just say to now, that's not that long ago.

No. And it's like a whole different world. Whole different world. And I mean, it's one of those things because whatever, Ashton, I do really well. And it's, it's very, yeah. But even I'm like, or even we're like, dude, you're, you're out of your mind. You know, like, and, and I'm not saying anybody should be, but I know there's people that listen to this going, you kind of feel guilty when you're like, I'm doing well, why should I not be able to do this? Yeah. But that's what things cost now to where it's like, I know it used to be like, remember, like I remember getting $5 to go to a movie yeah and i used to be able to get a not only a ticket but a snack do i expect to be five bucks these days no but do i expect to be a 90 dollar it's like but that's the thing that's so it's a whole different scale like you would expect to be able to take a kid somewhere of any age yeah and spend you know for an hour worth of entertainment less than 50 dollars right yeah you would pay. There's a lot of places you can't, you can still some places you can. Bowling is still very reasonably priced. Um, I think there's a lot of things out there that are very, but also there's a reason things like that go out a lot because it's hard to like, yeah, neither.

Or no one comes or they can charge with air and barely get by. And Cooper's like, cool. Like we'll go to restaurants. He's like, Hey, can I get this drink? And I'm like, normally I'm like, but do we, how about i'm having a water how about we just have water yeah okay sounds good you know i mean like kind of a when i do little things like that but then it's still like 60 bucks we didn't even this wasn't even a good fucking meal yeah what's really funny is my kids i we got them on the whole you can have anything that's free refills if you want something else you get one like oh yeah six root beers yeah when they're four or five dollars a piece yeah like you're not doing that like the bottles and you know sometimes we're like fine you can have two i don't care but that's generally our rule of thumb well now all my all my kids just want to drink water anyway they don't want pop most of the time sometimes i do but kids don't like pop no my my kids don't but my kids will drink it a little bit now but they know it's great like they're like they're like teas and the weird thing is i didn't force them to do that like so i grown up could have whatever i wanted so I got pop and it's not good. I wish I never got hooked on liking it. Right. They don't like it.

They don't like carbonation because they never drank pop. So like Logan kind of now, like he has an energy drink, like one of the skinny ones every now and then, but like Layla doesn't touch it. They don't ask for it. And I'm like, okay, I'm fine with that. My kids love pop at home. When the fridge is stocked full of pop, they'll drink the shit out of it. Really? They do. I, I need to ask him this. My theory now, I just, I don't know. It just dawned on me. They probably bought their own pop at a restaurant because they go buy their own meals. Oh, and they saw the price. And they were like, I don't want to spend the money. So now they just don't spend the money.

You know what? Those smart on water. I mean, I'm glad they're doing it for me too. Cause well, cause that's the thing is like, they start recognizing this. I mean, now that Logan's been working a long time now and he talks about prices and granted my kid still spends like no one's business, but he makes enough that he can do that. And he's a jacket We're coming up to jacket weather. I bet he is. We literally just talked about the other day. He came out wearing that one, but basically this last week he could have wore it fucking five days in a row. He probably didn't wear it once. It's probably in a, it's probably in a collector's shield. I don't know. Okay. Okay. But like he was like, I go something about your sweatshirt and he goes, you mean my jacket? He goes, it's a sweatshirt. It zips up. I go, it's a zip up sweatshirt. And he goes, we'll agree to disagree. And I'm I'm like, yes, we will. Cause I'm like, I'm not, I'll die on this hill. Like it is not Dick It is a sweatshirt but he makes really he such a good kid Like he works hard He just started he just started a new job tonight He loves working right He just overwhelms himself sometimes, which I'm like, dude, you got a lot going on college courses and all this stuff. I'm like, take a day off. But they start to see the prices of things. And now they're like, Ooh, well, I'm like, yeah, there was a time where you could spend on any, whatever you wanted. And it was fine because mom and dad paid all this stuff. But once you start dipping into that own money, it's like, Oh, well this sucks.

I'm not stepping over my balance here for sharing too much. But when we were out the other week, when the other Monday, when, when the three of us went out, we had a little session about the podcast. And my son walked in and he walks in and he's like, and you're like, Hey man, are you going to get some meat? He's like, well, can you give me some money? Oh, I didn't even offer. He just went like, Hey, can you buy me something? actually he came up and said hey would you mind buying us some dinner oh yeah and a friend and you're like who am i buying for well you know i got a couple other people with me and you're like dude it's like well you and layla went out like blah blah he's like okay i'll get you something right we spent 20 dollars and he's looking at you like well thank you like what do you mean that like you yeah yeah but i'm just sitting there going oh it happens to all of us oh it does and just like The funniest part about that though, was he was there for like a going away party for his current work. So they had like the party room reserved and they're all like having a good time. And I go in there later and say something to him. And I was like, did you still need to buy tea? He's like, no, I got paid, but you can't be in here. You don't work for this company. Like being, being a dick. Right. Which I was laughing. And like someone, one of his people were like, your dad's always welcome in here. And I kind of looked at him and he's like, well, and I go, no, you've got your own food. You can buy the rest of your stuff all night. We'll see you later. I just walked out.

Oh and by the way fucker everybody in this town knows me not you I told you what I said on the way out like I so I left a little bit later Yeah finished up and I went over and I was like oh yeah, he was there late that night Yeah, and when it wasn't even that late it was like no like 10 10 30. Yeah, maybe that I left Yeah, it was like I was like see you later champ rubbed his head And and he's like you're still here and I'm like you're still here. You're not even old enough to be here I'm like, you're not even drinking. Get out of here. Like, yeah. So no. So, okay. For the record, I got to say one thing quick. We haven't touched the notebook. That's what I was just about to say.

I think it's no, I don't, I was going to call it out, but I don't know what time we're at, but I just find it funny that somehow we got on a pitch. I was 45 minutes in a big deal. I mean, I am pretty pat actually the Ponchero's debate's pretty passionate in my house. No, I get it. Actually, it's actually, I'm pretty sure I saw that in the notebook. You can just cross it out the punch arrows debate. I'm going to, yeah. Well, no, I'm going to write it and then scratch it out. Just so I feel like I did something. So I just, I have so many of these random things, but I like them. You guys know, I got two that I could add to it. Okay. So that way you don't feel like you're carrying. Well, I don't care. I don't care. My mind just a shit show, but so this was a random thing. This isn't my mind. This is something that happened. Our buddy Ben might have to say his last name, but we all know Ben, not remote producer, but not remote producer Ben. No, our buddy was also our buddy. So this was a long time ago, but we were talking about colonoscopies cause that's something we talked about at this age. Right. And he was like, Oh, and we're fucking not cool and old. We're back to being old. You're, you know, we always have to bring it back. We talked about it.

Didn't we talk about it with Schulte on? Oh no, that was something else. Yeah. There's a different operation. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Call that victory it well. I love shooting blinks. It's great. It's a snip of victory. Yeah, like it's like LeBron powder So... So... I wish that that's... Clip this! Clip this right away that we find that... Powder! Dude, that's what I've always said is like, it's just like shooting baby powder. What is the time mark you save this? Cause that's exactly what's going on. No, but so Ben was talking, he's like, Yeah, I had a vasectomy. I was like, oh, good for you, man.

I'm like, I have to fucking do them every year, whatever. He goes, yeah, he goes, it really wasn't that bad. And I'm like, wait, no, no, no. You don't have to do a vasectomy every year. Colonoscopy. Oh shit. Sorry, I got really excited about the LeBron kick and I was just going off the vasectomy. If you have to do the vasectomy every year, they did it wrong. Dude, my genes are so strong it grows back together. We are like, more Irish leprechauns, please. Wolverine over here just fucking back at it, they get it. Yeah, my vast deference remake themselves. It's fine. I can't believe I remember that vast deference or anything.

Anyways. So Ben said, I had a colon. I'm like, good for you. And he goes, well, it's that bad. I go, dude, the prep sucks. And he's like, no man, you just like I shit in the box and I sent it off. Oh, we did the, hold on. First of all, I didn't know that was a thing. I'd never heard that. I don't know. You've never seen a single commercial board. If I heard Kolo guard, I bet I thought it was a medicine. I didn't think it was like a scene. You're putting a shield in front of your colon, right? That's what I, that's what it sounds like to me. But like, apparently he shit in a box or a capsule and just ships it off. And they're like, your shit's good. You're like, okay, thanks. I'm like, there's nice. First of all, that is not a colonoscopy. Cause I'm like, that's not going to tell if you have like polyps or like all that, the shit that you really should be looking for.

Right. But it just cracked. That could be like cancerous. Like the thing about polyps is like they're not yet, but they will be, will be. Yeah. But I'm like, I had no idea. So I'm like, what are they looking for? I'm like, they clearly could tell some shit about your blood or like your tract or what? I don't know, but I just, I cracked me up. I'm like, how many people out there are just sending shit boxes and going like I had my colonoscopy and good. How much shit is getting shipped through the mail. God damn shit. I'm not even saying on I'm gonna think about that for a while a lot Every every USPS workers had a lot of dookie through their hands, and they don't even know and you wonder why UPS got a raise Just for that job the Browns carrying the brand oh My god, I just want to picture them walking yes, bro. I want to picture them walking to a union meeting and be like we got a fucking carry these things.

My more money. Now my back's going out from carrying these shit boxes. Like, yeah, but you think about that? Think about that for a second. So shit boxes. I don't think they call them. And there's the vasectomy box. Evidently we didn't know about until that's called the LeBron powder box. And so there's the, uh, ship that in. And then like everybody's spitting in tubes and sending in DNA tests. Like how much fucking like, yeah, it's like human trafficking in a weird form. They're just fucking tossing bodily fluids around much bodily fluids are just And yeah, you know what's you know what's so fucked up in this?

What do we get in trouble for Erik if you can't send beer to a friend? Don't send any beer. Don't send any beer. Ever forbid I get a bottle of Weller that I fucking really want. Yeah, I feel like we should get a bottle of whiskey if we're dealing with that Alright, I'm gonna drink a bottle of whiskey take a shit put it in the box and send it to somebody. I think you're gonna have Wellerese it out. I got excited I punched my mic. That's his pot. So I think you get a bottle well or as long as you lay it next to a shit thing you'd be alright You know what I used to do when I would send alcohol. How about when you do two boxes you just wrap them together That's it. Oh, cuz they're like we have to throw one away. You're like pick your poison. They can be very different boxes But they just fall together. Oh, I see. I see. You're talking about two different shit boxes taped together and you gotta guess which one. That's I don't even a double shit box. I'm just saying it's kind of like you know this episode really went off the rails We went from vomiting to shit boxes and guys, we're sorry. We're not, but I feel like we should say that. I'm thinking the apple pie may have been just, yeah. Hold on. Also second episodes go off the rails. They do go off the rails. And also in our defense, it started with the Oppenheimer. So I feel like Erik set us up for failure right out of the gate. So, so secrets out at this point. Sometimes we shoot back to back episodes. Sometimes you can probably pick up that. We made the The second one's a little more ridiculous than the first one.

That's what happens. Everybody's going to be like, can you guys just shoot two episodes all the time and release the second one? Or they're like, no. Shut the fuck up. You have to suffer through the boring ones to get these gems. God damn it. You know what? I'd be curious to see if this is the gem. You're hearing this right now. Is this a gem or is this like, boys, just one at a time. One at a time, fellas. That's a really good question. We're going to have to tell them which one, which one's which. Yeah. We're going to have to remember to ask that. All they know is that this is the second one.

So just comment on this one and be like, yeah, boys, we just, we just stick one night. Just one. You know what? Since this is so off the rails, I'm going to ask. Oh, here we go. I've had this written down since before we had a podcast. Yeah. Literally. So it's like, but I've been like. This is the original notebook. This is not the podcast. This is like dear diary. I also, I have another one that's so much worse, but I'm not even, I'm not, I'm not even going to that yet. Like that's going to be saved for, cause it's so bad, but this one, okay. Here's the question. It's not it's September 10th, 2001. If you knew the events of September 11th wouldn't happen and all you had to do was suck off Osama bin Laden. Would you do it? Oh God. That smelled so bad.

It did you mean if I had to blow somebody to save like fucking a thousand letter or how many people Way more than that. We'll think the war wouldn't even happen. You will I got a Well, why do why do I have to? Got your head that's why can't I just shoot him or something? No, like he captured you and he's like, I'm going to blow up the World Trade Center Hold on. Hold on He really likes your mouth and you have to blow him. Hey, this is, he's been eyeing it for years. You can't put like normal rules into the place. That's the thing about logic into this. The question is, would you suck a dick to save that many lives? But it's not a dick. It's Osama bin Laden's dick. I'm a fucking kid. He lives in a cave. I don't know.

We don't know how much he showers. He's on dialysis. I heard that somewhere. I'm going to say no. I'm sorry. It's because I don't. I mean, if you could literally guarantee that nobody will ever die after it, then I might really think about it, but I just can't. I can't wrap my head around it, no matter what. They were definitely not. There would not be a terrorist attack that day. That's all I can say because we don't know what happened, but you know it was a pretty bad terrorist attack. You could stop 9-11. You could stop 9-11. The whole day doesn't exist. We go on about our lives. My brain goes to, I could stab This motherfucker with the pen right there on the pencil and you put too much logic into this and the whole thing like I can Guarantee you nobody else dies. You know what's bad about me?

You know what my brain did when I read this for the first time I went Like to completion or just for like Yeah, I mean because I was like I don't think I don't think your tits bring the same joy. How dare you? I have great tits. I have a B-minus cup all day You don't know whatever I am a lot of things read about I feel like he's into that Regardless, I'm just saying it's like they were like blown for two minutes I'm like I will give you the worst blowjob ever and I by the way, it's my first one I feel like I should throw that out there and But I have as long as it is I don't I don't want it I don't want to get to that point if that makes sense So the by the way, I really hope my kids don't listen this episode if you did bite it off Oh Well definitely what well it definitely is happening man. He's like fucking fire the missiles because you just bit him But as long as you can spit his cock up. Oh God, he's gonna bleed a lot. I don't know if he's gonna make it That's not like a that's not like a okay. This is this is gone. This is gone. All right We'll let it go. This is but Shaun never answered bring it back bring it back Yeah, Shaun, what's your answer?

I always wanted to, I heard this somewhere and I was like, yeah, that's a really good question. My answer is there is if I could save millions of American lives and lives around the globe, because I love everybody. Apparently even his cock for two minutes and he's not going to completion then fine. Okay. You know, so we have established how much I like to hear my own voice. How big is my plaque that I do this like this oh my god hold on I thought you were to say how big is his cock?

That's your question. He's not concerned about that How much spit do I have? Big is my like does everybody know I saved a day? You're getting a statue. Yeah, you should get you should the Statue of Liberty should be replaced with you like we would pledge allegiance to the Shaun Like at some level that would be very like- To the Republic for which it stands one nation under Notre Dame Yeah! Like at some point we'd do the whole things and they'd be like Like a thanks Shaun You know like a- Just one of those things like all day I mean you talk about two clapper You talk about wanting your memory to live in from you You know like the Super Bowl where they do the flyover, they do the whole thing and then it's like aaaand thanks Shaun What are you gonna name this episode?

That's exactly- yes Thanks Shaun What was going to be the notebook notebook V2, but I think there's a, you're going to have to think about some things. I think that, well, first of all, first of all, I like to think of myself as a hero, even though I don't watch superhero movies, but I feel like it's really weird that you guys love superhero hero movies and not taking the side of saving America. I did. I took the side, but definitely the size of the recognition I'm going to get for the work I'm going to put in the size of the Osama bin Lancock is what he really means. It can't be that big. You wouldn't think. Wait a minute. Is that, is the statue going to have you holding the, just you with a fucking dick in your hand? Who's the other guy? It was a good time. We just bought him. Him and uncle Sam. I'm just, I'm all about quality. You know what guys fire us now? I, this might not even get released. I don't know. We'll see. I think it's great. No, it is. Here's the thing. That's the greatest thing. We don't let it on a lot. We really don't care. It's like we're all, we're just having a good time. We're just bullshitting. I'm here to save lives. Clearly. Yeah. For someone who hates superheroes, Shaun is the superhero. Hey, so long as he gets a fucking Statue whenever like I'm not I'm not Superman where nobody knows Shaun Shaun Superman Me man, I'm not Clark Kent. I am fucking yes. This is yeah Somebody Shaun somebody has to not suck the dick and build your statue, okay?

So that's you Wait, so I'm like priming him for the first two minutes. He's definitely blowing in Shaun's mouth But that's why he gets the statue But then Erik's definitely just behind the camera like keep rolling as he's gagging in his mouth I'm shot you, Dad! You just said that! And then I'm gonna fucking kill everybody afterwards. I feel like if anyone should do that, it should be Shaun, but... Oh no, he's still getting praise, that's true, yeah. He gets the statue. You know what, guys? Good team effort, I think we figured it out. Somebody's gotta be the leader of this goddamn crusade. In the future, if you need us to save the free world, the three of us are ready to go.

I'm basically... What is it called? So, when you hear that, I get a statue and all this praise, you gotta wonder who's behind this to make it this shit. There's so many jokes on like how many dicks did you have to suck for that to happen? Shaun's is one But it was the one Man I'm sorry, but I'm not that I asked that but again It's been in there forever, and I'm like I was waiting for the right time And it just you know the the Sun smiled upon my face, and I felt like now is the time so It is what it is difficult So moving on from that What's your guys' favorite fry?

There's so many things, but that's one of them. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. I like cool crinkle or my favorite. And honestly, people who hate crinkle cut fries scare me a little bit waffles a close second. You know what Shaun's is loaded. No, no, his is fucking full on baked potatoes in his mouth. He doesn't even bite him. He just swallows the whole thing, but it's okay. We're going to put a statue up for you. Oh man. No, if real, what's your favorite kind of fry? I creakle cut for sure. But I'm an Erik, like I'm a waffle, but waffle fries are good. Waffle fries are great, but this feels very wrong. Actually in this PG all of a sudden, a couple of things. Go ahead. Waffle fries are great. As long as you get the ones that doesn't have too much skin on it. The ones that have all the, all That's not good. I don't mind one every now and then but I don't mind it on waffle I don't like it on other things. I don't know why that's we see you see I'm different like my little fried like I like Like I like a twice baked potato and I can eat the whole thing But I don't you know, but whatever so if I get to pick my waffle fry give me that center cut that's big dog Yeah, I like that you do like that big Sorry, I can't help it like I'm my mind is just still there big white one I don't know, I got a lot of like remember the steak fries from Steak and Shake?

No from uh Steak and Shake had like the little like They had the uh, they had the uh, they had the uh, they had the uh, they had the uh, Shoe string. Cork and fork. Cork and fork, remember those big steak fries? Yeah. Cause you could actually just put the ketchup right on- Oh yeah, cause you could- out of a whole pack there was- There was like five that sucked. Five duds yeah for sure you just bite into it. You're like that's wrong and you spit it out And then you'd have a perfect one You're like oh and that's what you could never bitch about it because if it's like it's a crapshoot because if they would have cooked And those five were done there would have been burnt once I will say my absolute favorite But is rip off is curly fries. I Love I think I love curly fries, too. I just don't there's so many imposters though Yeah, I put them in a little bit of a weird category because they're like broasted fries Well, and are you talking about like Arby's? So there's the ones where it's like literally it's a million swirls. Those are delicious, but then you get these fucking burnt like just hooks. They're disgusting. Don't necessarily hate. You should get one good. I think, I think you get a couple of good ones out of it. The big, big, whatever, but they take up the whole thing. So then like, you're like, I'm out of fries and like four things like this. Yeah. So, but if you had it, if we had a container full of those, you'd be happy.

God if you open a whole bag and if I had like if I had a I don't can fight it'd be like one hour you could measure out the amount of fries I get from like you know McDonald's and I get that many curly fries they're talking. Oh, yeah, it's over Okay, no even close so slight variation who has the best fast food fries, okay? would you be someplace you can like drive through two seconds like it's not like a yeah sit down so i think it i think my number mcdonald's i just i'm sorry they're just like to me they're just the the winners right there i miss my favorite were the wendy's fries from the late 90s yeah because they changed but i agree they're there the recipe changed yeah when they had that not before they went to the Wendy's. Yeah. High school Wendy's like that was my number one. But since then, then I would be a hundred percent. I mean, McDonald's McDonald's is just says not everyone else keeps changing their fries. That's they fucking stay. I can tell you who's the worst fucking five guys. I haven't had them. I've never been to five guys. And the sad thing is they give you a fucking bag of them. It doesn't matter. Like it doesn't matter what you want. You get a small and it's they're all the net. I'm just I'm just not a natural cut frog. Like, cause again, I just think that's the thing for fast food fries. I think natural cut some reason they, they're not good, but like I've had like local places do, you know, hand cut and I love them. Yeah. But I, there's something

about the way they cook them and how long they sit. I don't know what it is, but I don't like them to me. I'm like, it's bullshit. It's not healthier. So stop acting like it. So I like it it not at all So I like just get rid of it Like I really like the box are really good but I haven had it yet That new or yeah But honestly I going to I going to say and by the way I haven had him What yours McDonald is my go-to McDonald's is the only French fry that I like literally sometimes have cravings for in a fast food sense. Um, they're crinkle fries at other places that are maybe fast food. I get a nice grownup cravings for those two. That's why mine is dairy queen. They have crinkle fries and they're usually really solid but i haven't had it in probably a year you know but like i love them right so but yeah i would say mcdonald's is the only one that i like literally crave the fries otherwise fries are just like there's some places i go and i just get the sandwiches i'm like fuck the fries i don't care i agree i'm more of sandwiches instead of fries in a sandwich yeah i'm actually more that way too i'd rather have two sandwiches than the fries at all like normally i'm just like i'll go to chick-fil-a and get two sandwiches i was just gonna dude i was just gonna say like i don't care if this makes you sound like a fat boy because they're so good. Their spicy chicken is so goddamn good. And so I just get like it was a few months ago. I just got two of those.

I get one regular one spicy. Love it. I'll eat one fry out of my kids. I'm like, dad text. That's all I need is one fry. They're the same one that pissed me off though because you get the thing. Chick-fil-A? Yeah, because you get the big fries that clog up the whole box. You're like, no. Yeah, I mean you get one of the big waffle fries. That's a good point. Speaker 3 4.: They filled you up and you're like, so some days you get a good run. Some days you get a bad, so they need to do the five guys thing and just like feel the bag. Speaker 3 4.: They did that. They filled the bag. Then yeah, this fat kid needs no more fries. So it'll be okay. I need all the fries. I just realized shit. Can we take a two minute break? Make yes to PP. So there's Shaun, okay. What are we at? I know we're probably close. There's more to talk about.

Oh, I'm so close. I'm so close. We're back, baby. This fucking house, I swear to God. I swear to God. I hate this fucking place, I swear to God. So we regrouped. We're going to, we have something that's been on our chest. Shaun, if you want to take it away. How about the TikToks where dads are crashing out? I think you guys should add me to these because I don't think I've seen them. Oh, they're so good. I want to see them. My daughter shows them to me all the time. She's like, did you know that you're on TikTok? It's bad. So the fact that we're using Crashing Out, we're young. We're cool. But the fact that we're about to tell stories about how we are old ass crashing out.

Oh, yeah. It is a whole thing about just literally dad's fixing something and it's all like, you little fucking son of a bitch. you little you know I mean like the screw falls out what he's screwed he's like I fucking hate well how something can burn this fucking place it's supposed to be a little thing but like we hold everything in and so but when you're like that fucking mad then all it just starts coming out and like quiet talk you're just like I swear to fucking god I'll kill everybody right now so I will send you the videos because you're gonna love it but just take comfort in that you're not alone when you go to fix something because I do it every time every time I thought I was alone no I'm always Like why the fuck does this happen to me?

Why is it fucking what I buy and spend money on decides it's got a break and I got to go back to fucking the Home Depot Seven times and I got to go get it and everybody else's stuff works fantastic And evidently doesn't matter what and I just do you just ever have days where you're just like How the fuck are five things going wrong? Well, cuz here's why all going here's why because nothing like when you're having a bad day That's when the little shit happens and it just it's like one it just picks you It's like this, this, it's not when like one big thing goes wrong. I can get over one big thing. It's like, I got to regroup. We're fine.

But it's like, this is so stupid, but I like, I'm a dad. I wear cargo shorts. It never fails. This never happens when I'm in a good mood. I'm in a bad mood and I walk by something that has a handle on it. It fucking grabs my short. I'm like, I swear to fucking God. I will beat the fuck out of this. Do you know at my old house, I literally changed all of the fucking cabinet handles after I ripped the, my cargo shorts. Yeah. Rips the pocket open work. and it caught and it ripped my shorts. Oh my God. These motherfuckers are gone. I have to go to the hardware store anyway. And it changed every handle, but like the simplest tasks and you're going to do it.

And all of a sudden the screw falls off and it drops down behind. And immediately you're like, well, this goddamn piece. It's always this where you watch like a YouTube video and it's like, it's this easy. And you're like, oh, I can do that. And then you do it and you're like, oh, I have the wrong part. Okay, fine. Fine. I'll go to the, I'll go to home Depot. We're good. Come back. Do this. Oh, this is kinked. This is it's stripped. You need this. Okay. When I moved into my house, this is the easiest thing in the world. We have a copper water line coming up from the water heater that like is the connect to the fridge.

But it doesn't it's old, so it doesn't match the new one. I spent four hours sitting behind my fridge. We're like, if it wasn't perfect, it would start leaking. And it was like, you can't risk that because we put it by the way. You got no fucking you put it back and you can't see it. It would move just enough where it start leaking. and I'm like, well, I have to sit here for an hour. And all of a sudden, a little drip of water starts coming. I'm like, I swear to fucking God, I'm going to kill everybody. So that was moving into my house. The most recent one was my dryer stopped working. And I was like, all right, it's humming.

It's not spinning. It's fine. I'm like, I'll just take the thing apart. By the way, this is how stupid I am. I didn't YouTube at first. I'm like, I got this. I took the whole back apart. And it was like, no, the back's fine. You need to take the front apart. And I was like, awesome. So I put it all back together. Then I moved back. By the way, I have this much room. I have to climb over and like dive into a hole to get behind it. Were you missing any screws? No, but I took the whole front apart and the fucking, I'm like, I feel like this is supposed to have a belt. I reach under, there's a belt that just shredded.

And I'm like, I think I found the problem. Nailed it. Yeah. Go get a belt, come back. And I'm like, I'm going to throw this on. This is fine. I know I get, I get the whole like system. It's the wrong size of belt. And I was like, of course it is. I'm going to run back to fucking home Depot, grab another belt, put it on. It's not spinning. because it like wasn't lined up perfectly. But again, so it took like four hours, but saved me $350 and got it. I'm just saying I wasn't doing what you're doing, but my blood pressure just goes to solicitor. I same way. Cause I'm like, how the fuck does this fucking happen? Or it's like, I need this go to grab the drill dead, dead. Why would it be dead?

Why would I mean like why wouldn't it be dead why You know or just this Wait a minute though The drill Who's who's in charge of the drill? Oh, it's me. Oh, we know it's not like your fucking battery and come on No, I have I have four batteries ready to go all the time Okay now with my kids my kids. I have I did have this the other day So of course he's got four I do. There's a reason why I'm on this side of the table and he's on that side of the table. That's why he's the producer. I always keep the batteries ready to go. But if my kid, like the other day, I went to light a fire. My kids have been playing with the lighter and all of the fucking fluid was out of it.

That drives me nuts too. That's my windproof lighter. I use it all the time. Like somebody's been playing with this. If it's empty, I refill it. Sure. So my point is though, you have a right to be pissed for that. Yeah, I realize I don't have a right to be pissed but I still like I still like that makes us lose our mind this house and fuck this family that I have to fucking do everything You know what I mean? And it's not right at all but in that moment it's like And with the kids around or even Ashley's like what's wrong with you? I'm like just leave me alone This is like my process where you be very quiet. This is where I just get things done And this is the way I do like I I self-motivate by fuck this house and fuck all you know So cause in the grand scheme of things, actually not that way more for our house than I do.

It's not that big deal, but literally is skipping a screw off the thing. And I just, it's cause you always expect it to be a small, quick thing. I think it's also cause I watched my dad do it too. And I'm like, I think this is just how you get through it. Yeah. You're supposed to see what's going through my head is I don't want to fucking do this on the weekend when I'm finally not working. And there's a million other things I could be doing. And I don't want to fucking deal with this footballs on, but I, but I have a lot of money invested in this house and I don't want to go, you know, so I want to be nice.

I don't want to have nice shit, but I'm sick of that fact that I have to, you know, but do you guys feel better? Like when you verbalize something for me, like Aaron thinks I have road rage and I do see, I don't have that way better than I used to be, but I still like, I, I yell and cuss at people because I feel better. Once I've done it. Because fuck them. It's okay. Also fuck them. But like I feel better just saying it and then I can move on. Yeah. But if I don't, then I feel like this kind of rage where I'm holding onto the steering wheel. It's your release of it. I verbalize it. I say it out loud.

I'm like, fuck that person. Yeah, you're like, I didn't shoot him in the face. Like instead I went like, hey, you're a piece of shit. And I felt better. I yelled at them and they couldn't hear me. It's okay. I'm behind this car. I'm inside. They can't hear me. So I can be like. What's Chris? I'll turn this damn That'll end your precious field trip exactly yeah, but yeah I feel like the the work thing like the working on the house thing is the same thing. I have to sometimes just verbalize my frustration. There's a comedian. I follow a name Derek Cahill and His whole series is like welcome to another riveting edition of fuck this house It's like him like have you seen him? He's fucking my father shit cuz I got to follow that because that sounds right up my alley.

I'll send it to you because you will love it. But also back to the thing, the dad's crashing out. We will send you the one I guarantee he's seen and I've seen where it's like, it's this old guy and like you could tell he's like a nice dude, but he's just, and all he's doing is trying to change the light bulb, but he's got one of those weird fixtures where like you have to hold all the pieces in place while you do it. And like a screw drops and he's like, I fucking hate this fucking house. He starts off like he's just fixing it and then it just goes a little wonky. And he's like, I swear to God, I fucking hate this.

He's like, I'll burn this whole fucking thing down. It's exactly what goes through my head. And so, no, then I found one today. It's just a compilation of a lot of that stuff. Like, one day I'm trying to fix it. I had this piece of fucking shit. This fucking, I don't even know why I bought this piece. Like, just go. And I'm like, I will do that too. And I'm like, they're going to lock me up. And then Ashley's like, what's wrong? You know, I'm like, you need to not be around. Like, this is my process. Like, you're not looking at me when that happens. Yeah, because it's like, I'm not saying this to you.

No, I'm saying this to like, this is my thing. And like, just, yeah, I'm going to be frustrated. I'm like, yeah, you need to not be around. But I also need somebody to come when I call you. You need to be out. Because shit goes wrong. I need an extra set of hands. My favorite, though, is my kids sending them to me. Because I'm like, okay, so they know I do it. Yeah. They are listening. But also they recognize I'm not the only one. You know what I mean? It's like, that's just a normal part of being a dad owning a home. and getting easily frustrated. It's okay. I'm calm. Honestly, like I have a very, I don't have a short fuse. Like I'm, it takes a lot to boil me over, but what boils me over is the shit that makes me mad. It's not like something you did or whatever. It's like, this should be easy. Why fucking isn't it? You know what I mean? Yes. I get again. I get like that because it's that's where I get, I don't know. I worked so fucking hard. I fucking do this. I'm a good person.

I'm a good person, I love my wife, I fucking follow the law, blah blah blah, and why does this crew have to fall off on Saturday when I just want to watch the fucking game? So Erik, next time it happens to you, you go, I foster fucking dogs. That's exactly what I'm saying. I run a podcast and I'm definitely the best man out of those three. It's not even close. These guys are fucking degenerates. Yeah. Oh, man. It actually prompted a fun memory. My dad like he loved working on cars and tractors and all this show growing up I learned a lot about stuff and every once in a while he would have these moments like he would drop a fucking Bolt down the motor and We hold the fucking flashlight straight. Oh, yeah Really good at that hold on when he dropped it. It actually was fucked up and went down there Not just me. Yeah, that is spun off and I picked it up from the dirt. Yeah, like I mean literally for him He was like that's a fucking hour that I'm gonna have to go get that yeah, but no he was like hey dude Can you bring your little ass arms over here?

Hey, you're up I'm gonna hold your feet you grab this right, but I freak out the same way And it's just on the grass yeah He told me like and so one time I asked him I'm like what is that like it's a it's like a washer But it's like a clip and it hooks on and he goes those are called Jesus clips I was like why is it called that you say they hold you try and get it off you go Jesus where'd it go?

I've never heard that before So to this day Jesus that is the official name of the now accurate it's accurate. I know anybody listening right now You've been around your dad where he fucking freaked out and you're like I mean wise He always wants me to help him and your biggest nightmare is going to help him because you knew You're getting yelled at no matter do it to Cooper you could Perfect as possible you're getting yelled at Cooper will be like what dad. I'm like shut the fuck up and you're gonna Go you're gonna do this someday too man. This is just how it's at some point I'm like listen this is just what needs to happen Yeah, yeah, not mad at you. I'm not mad at you at all and you start learning that short You're feeling my frustration. Yeah, you're gonna catch the Catch the blow of this thing. Yeah, so I know we talked like we're starting this little series were about something that chaps our ass or grinds our gears. We have to officially decide what we're going to call it, but I like both of those so much that I can't stop saying both of them. I like chaps my ass, but you've always been more of a grind your gears. Well, grind my gears is from family guy. I kind of, I like chaps my ass better actually.

No really chaps. Yeah. Just chaps my ass. I mean, it just like, and that's how it should always start. You know what just chaps my ass. Okay. I actually like this because I have a sponsor in mine. Oh, now my mind is fucking spinning so hard, but continue. Okay. So by the way, everything, everything we just talked about, by the way, our last 20 minutes was what chaps our ass, but let's move on to what actually chaps my ass. Because when we came up with this segment, we were having kind of a creative session and I, we just have, we were out and about together, the three of us. And I went to the bathroom and that's when I came up with this because I was like I fucking get so mad when I'm out and about somewhere restaurant bar doesn't matter anywhere public and you a don't throw your fucking towels like in the garbage like they're all over the floor and all over the place also the people who spit like two packs and shit like that in the urinals you're a piece of shit you are like you're worse than the people who don't take their carts back because at least a cart you're just touching metal someone has to fucking fish your nasty shit out of a urinal. Same with like, and the paper towels are the same way. I don't know what you did with that. You got to fucking wiped your hole or wiped your mouth. I don't know. Like it's disgusting. Throw your shit away. Clean up after yourself.

Amen, brother. Thank you. I feel a little better. It shouldn't be that hard. It shouldn't be that hard. I do get like a little bit of the paper towel stuff. Like they get so fucking full before some places empty them and that's fine spills out. Yeah. But when it's not you, But like you made sure it went in there before you walked out the door that you're cool. You're good. You're good But when they're just throwing it on the ground like a bunch bag, you know, I mean like and I get it Like I'm not gonna shove my hand down there either cuz I will You know, I will sometimes take extra and just push it. That's what I do But that's what I do. That's what I do.

Sometimes I also don't Sometimes I also don't It's more like, yeah, bro, the trash needs to go out. Like I'll just roll up to a bartender and be like, hey I'll tell them though. Yeah, same thing. Yeah, it's overflowing in there But the people have just thrown on the fucking ground just the people that act like They would never do that at home. Exactly. So that those do that. It's like you never know. I fuck dude That's disgusting. Maybe their moms picked it up all their life But even if they did like you're eventually gonna live on your own You probably I hope if you're at a bar you do live on your own then my children sometimes I'm like I've told you many times and they still do it. Well, yeah, but that's They're not 21 kids are different yeah And they will because I have found my 19 year old now that he lives with other people Yeah, that's shit a little different don't he everybody figure shit out. Yeah, he also gets disgusted by his roommates and shit So does he come home and complain about his brother and sister?

No, actually a little bit, but he always did he was a lot neater than them. That's true. Yeah, he is But it's because he's realized and it's not his shit. Yeah, yeah, which is why I get frustrated I'm like that's not my shit. I'll pick up my shit like my mind of yours And that's what that's what you learn when you go to college. You're like oh my god. Yeah Somebody else has to pick up so like yeah That's yeah, I still sometimes go in the bathroom like flush the fucking toilet dude like that drives me nuts I will say that does not have one. I'm not one to leave a heater around but some people got a lot Even if it's just pee just flush it. No, it's the pee. Honestly the peak. I don't know most people Yeah, I mean my kids at least are pretty good about flushing their shit. Yeah, like If you leave peace sitting there it stinks. It starts to smell. Yeah, just flush it Also, it's worse almost when it's closed and you just go in like hoping to like oh, I'm just gonna take a piss You're like, oh, we're not unlike a water shortage right now It's just to me. It's a very normal I do my business and yeah, you let it go Yeah, I had forgot from a key delete the evidence occasion forgot I forgot or I've had to flush before We've all done it. I'm sure.

My order got out of hand, you know, somehow. You guys might forget less because you guys piss in the shower like a bunch of fucking heathens, but anyway. You don't have to worry about flushing it. Well, you don't have to worry about flushing it. You know what else we pee? Like the lawn of the- You know what we do? We float around the lake, we drink beer after beer, and we just piss it out as we do it. I just- I usually wait for the- Why do you think I stay in the water all the time? The Chicago Field Museum lawn and just go there. Yeah. It's where the true gangsters are. Hey, Erik, you got a dad joke for us?

I do, I do, hang on. So... Yes, I do. What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite pizza order? Oh, wait... That wasn't the next black name, man. What a fucking dick. Where did you, did you fucking Google the Osama Bin Laden thing? There's no way this was a dude, huh? I called it up. You're a fucking dick. Okay, hold on. His pizza order? Yeah, what's his favorite pizza order? Two large shots of everything no, I don't know I don't know large planes That would have never happened Done your fucking job. We wouldn't be talking about this right now. What we You son of a bitch you're welcome to large planes. We had to finish it out I just thought about this one started with the It was supposed to be the notebook We but when I hit like three of the things it's fine. Yeah, we did a little bit. Yeah. What was the shot that we had?

Yeah, I mean Erik Erik technically started the way this went like it went down You know what guys you got to remember this is a comedy podcast where you're here just for fun. That's all it is It's all jokes. Never and calm your tits If you're offended, please post on our TikToks and Facebooks. Please, we love responding to angry comments. We actually look forward to it. Remember the Philly Karen? We hope to see you in the comments. At this point she might be the only one on her teeth. Oh, that's really bad. Alright guys, well this was literally a fucking blast in the house. This was a fucking shit show is what it was, but I love it.

Welcome to the party. Thank you guys for joining again. Uh, we love you guys for listening. Please email us at we're still cool, right? At gmail.com. Maybe now's not the time to say that. Send us good and bad. We'll respond to it. Um, you laughed. Just have fun with it. Exactly. Don't, don't lean into it. Don't take life so seriously. No one gets out alive. Take some joy in it and have a good time with it. And seriously, you know, like do the likes, shares, all that stuff on the, uh, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, all that stuff. It really does. It means a lot to us. It helps other people see our craziness and yeah.

Yeah. Especially this episode is gonna be pretty fun. No, it's gonna be great. So we love you guys. We'll see you soon actually And if you hear this episode something fucking went wrong Cheers everybody