We're Still Cool, Right?
Ep. 191:04:53

Harry Carry and Spray Tanned Moped Gangs! What else do you need?

Come join us as we talk celebrity encounters and working in the Airline Industry with our Special Guest John Crowley!

Quotes from this episode

Note to self: carry a pen with you when you're at these events.
Ep. 19 @ 00:27:52

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

Dad jokeEp. 19 @ 01:02:36

Show notes

Come join us as we talk celebrity encounters and working in the Airline Industry with our Special Guest John Crowley!

Transcript

Tap a timestamp to listen from there

Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

00:00:00
you are now free to move about the country it's gonna be my next job as a spokesman for an airline I like it I like it get that down here for it I need something this corporate thing ain't gonna work out forever so well it's important to be thinking I know yeah keeping my head on a swivel always have that next level exactly ready to move another episode another episode I'm excited we got some good stuff going on here I think you guys are gonna like this one here a lot so for those of you that join us all the time welcome back crack your drink join the party welcome for some of the new people or first people joining us welcome to the we're still cool right podcast right i'm sean i'm mike and i'm eric and uh yeah welcome to the party yeah so uh should we get this drink out of the way because it looks really good and i'm fucking thirsty so right yeah it sounds great what's in it um oh you you didn't want to just guess oh is it the blind surprise yeah it does kind of look like muddy water but this is kind of a take on an Arnold Palmer.
00:01:26
It's iced tea, lemonade, and whiskey. Bourbon. And we used some Cody Road, so shout out to our guys over there. Shout out to them. Cheers, everybody. Cheers.
00:01:39
Yeah, I could drink that. Oh, well, there we go. Did you have a second one of those on deck for me here when we get going here? We need to start a list of the ones that are that good where we're just making them by the pitcher. Yeah, I do have like a half backup cup I can just suck over by you guys. All right. That was the first genius idea that maybe one of the first genius ideas that we've had. We need a pitcher going out front. Yeah, a decanter. Just like constantly like it. Roll the dice how good your drink is. If the pitcher stays empty, then fail if you got a good one. And if the pitcher's empty, we're Ubering home.
00:02:09
Yeah, as far as that too. I mean, we're going like four or five in a row of good drinks. Yeah. Now we need to fuck it up bad. We need to have somebody's garbage. I've got an idea for that. You didn't say you got a bad one coming. You didn't say you got a bad one coming. You got time to step on it, but my man. Guess what? We have a guest today. We do have a guest, but real quick. It's your birthday. Oh yeah, happy birthday. Happy birthday, dude. Oh, did you? You cocksucker face? Well, we celebrated yesterday, so it's not your birthday anymore. We did. We'll get into that, but yeah. Another year goes by, another wrinkly old ball sack, as they say.
00:02:45
Just means you lived, man. lived man that's true that's true and happy birthday thank you buddy I appreciate I was gonna call you earlier but I was like fucking I'm gonna see him tonight so yeah you're the only one that didn't tell me it so express it in front of everybody I'm expressing it to everybody so they can hear how many followers we have listen that's true way bigger for an impact yeah you just told millions of fan so all right well wish them a happy birthday if you thank you everybody yes it's been a good weekend so you're good dude i will say i uh someone gave me a balloon a balloon yeah i i haven't gotten a balloon in a very long time but our special guest john is here yeah he brought me a balloon for my birthday so welcome john happy birthday mike thank you buddy it feels good i'm only what a couple years younger than you sure sure sure Mike likes to give everyone shit around here because he's the young dog here.
00:03:44
I do. And I always will be. 42 as of today. Oh my god. So just real quick, I've talked about John. He's emailed us before. John and I worked together for a long time. I'm not good with years, so I can't remember how long ago it was. It's been a long time, but we worked together for a total of probably, I don't know, was it 10 years between both places? Yeah. um but john worked over almost 25 years in the airline industry and uh currently has a different profession that is nothing to do with that whatsoever uh but we'll get into it also but yeah so for those of you guys that remember your email was the one that kicked us off on this whole thing of like jobs that we've had in the past which have been a pretty consistent theme that we've brought up around here so yeah whether it was cool or shitty or right that's what it was we have some comment to it so for those of you that are listening that want to be guests on here we tell you to email in and if you write some good ones you got a shot of getting here i'm just saying no pressure i mean uh if you're wondering how you do it where can they email us mike we're still cool right at gmail.com and while we do check the other socials it's a lot easier to to keep everything through email so if you have anything to say just shoot us an email we love to we love to read them so yeah so thanks for joining us yeah thanks john thanks for having me yeah so we We kind of talked about you a little bit. I'm gonna try here's what I'm gonna try and do I've known John a long time I'm but I'm really shitty with details, so I'm gonna say things about John I think are true, and we're gonna see if it's right or not Is it like a game show now?
00:05:14
Kind of, yeah, here we go. See if I know myself We should probably call your wife because I don't even know if you know yourself And for a hundred dollars is this correct? Yeah, exactly You've been married to your wife for a long time. I'm not even gonna try and guess how many years? Coming up, oh wow Oh, I shouldn't put you on the spot. 24 years. 24 years, okay So shout out Leanne. She's amazing. An amazing thing is we have a 24-year-old daughter. That's true. Maddie. Madigan. Yep. And Tiernan, which I can't forget that name, obviously. So that was my in-law's name. So yeah, so that and then you, but you grew up, you were born here.
00:05:51
Right. Grew up in Marion. Yep. Because you went to, I remember, didn't you guys win like state football? He's literally wearing a Marion shirt under his Cardinals jersey. Go fucking figure. Yep. There you go. So right before this started, I got to say, we were walking into the liquor place to grab a mixer. And there's a Dollar Tree next door. And this guy walks in. He's tall, wearing a Cardinals jersey. And I'm like, I think that's fucking John. And so we come back around. And he's holding a balloon. He's like trying to hide it. He's like, why'd you have to see me walking in there? I was going to surprise you.
00:06:21
I know. Leanne told me to buy you one. I appreciate the balloon. And thank you, Leanne, because we know John wouldn't have done it on his own. But yeah, so what else? But yeah, the airline thing was huge because you've met some cool people and seen some cool things. And we were talking before the podcast. And I don't know if I ever heard you say that part is how much you enjoyed that job. Oh, I loved it. Yeah. It was the greatest job I ever had. Yeah. I mean, hands down. So you were at Cedar Rapids Eastern Iowa Airport. Is that where you're at or were you at other places? I did. With the commuter airline, I spent about three years out there.
00:06:54
Okay. At the old airport. Sure. Yeah. Oh, see, I don't even know where that was. Well, same place. It was just a building. Yeah. But I started with United and St. Louis. Oh, okay. All right. That makes sense. I also worked in Chicago, Denver, Phoenix, and I spent a summer in Anchorage. Oh, really? Okay. Wow. It was fun. What did you do for the airlines? What were you? Well, my official title was customer service agent. But when you're in like St. Louis and Phoenix and Cedar Rapids, it's called a line station. So we do everything inside, outside, which is great because, you know, we could bid our schedules by seniority days off what you do.
00:07:34
And so, you know, some days I'd work three days inside and two days outside. So it's just a nice variety. So it sucked in the winter if you had to be outside in St. Louis. Well, until you got enough seniority, then you go down in the back room and sit down and watch the game. Get down there, sucka. But no, it was an awesome job. Well, I ask that because one of the questions, well, we had multiple questions with yours, but just in general, but helping people at the gate customer service, you had to have some real treats of people of all walks of life. Because everyone in the movies thinks that's fake.
00:08:11
Like people just losing their mind. Everyone's like, no one really acts like that. And I'm like, I don't know. I've met some shitty people not even in that position. Right, right. Oh, no, I've had stuff thrown at me, threatened at me. I mean, it's, it's amazing. My wife, when she was eight months pregnant with our daughter, she got just berated. Really? I mean, it was, it was unbelievable. She thought the guy was going to hit her. Jesus.
00:08:38
Yeah. It's, uh, I don't know what it is when people walk into an airport. It's like a lawless area. Yeah. You know, like, which is crazy. There's so much security and stuff. I don't know. It's not that it's just like all of a sudden they don't know what to do. Sure. Don't know where to go. Oh. You know, they can't look at a sign. Yeah. They don't know how to act. They don't know how to behave. Because when I got, you know, when I first started, you know, it's always, oh, I'm thinking, you know, the customer's always right, you know, because I used to work at a Kmart in high school, you know, and all the customer.
00:09:09
And I started working with some of these senior guys once I got to United. Oh, wow, you can talk to them. The customer's not always right. One of the funniest lines, I mean, Chicago is messed up. St. Louis was a diversion city for us. So we had, between us and America, I don't know, 30 airplanes on the ground.
00:09:30
We got a line out the door. Working with this guy, Ben, who is just a great guy. He was like my dad's age. And this guy come up, you know, we got, we see the line, but this guy comes up from the side and goes, excuse me, can I ask you a question? Then without looking up just goes yeah, you just did any more end of the line I'm like scribbling it down. I'm gonna remember this. I was just gonna say I'm gonna try and remember that to use that That's your one fuck off. Yeah, I was just like okay, so we can talk to him I think you probably have to I know you do in a job like that You know it is the whole they'll take advantage of you once they see weakness kind of you know Exactly one person starts be right someone that gets what they want everyone's gonna you know i think it's also just people are just so anxious to fly like some people just terrible so they walk in just already at you know like an 11 and then it's like when i was in chicago and denver which are two of united's biggest hubs yeah you get people that they didn't want to be in either one of those cities they just you know forced there to make a connection yeah yeah now something's gone wrong right and it ranks it wraps it up a lot more you know on them And my buddy, one of my best friends, Scotty, one of his best stories he tells is they had a flight coming in late from L.A. one night.
00:10:50
I mean, it's two, three hours. Everyone's going to misconnect. So what they do is they, when they get, the gate agent meets it and tells you, A through C, go to this gate, alphabetical order. Everything's taken care of. All the hotels, it's just boom, boom, boom, just get him out. And he said he got this one guy who's built like a, I can swear, right? Yeah. Like a shit house. Yeah. And he goes, he's drunkard and shit. He goes, he just starts going off on me. And he goes, it had been one of those nights where the cops are out there. And you start learning in the hubs who all the undercover cops are.
00:11:22
And it's amazing how many there are. And so my Scotty goes, this guy finally stops. And I'm telling him, well, you can either have the bed I'm offering you or, if you want, you can turn around and take the bed the gentleman behind you are going to offer you. He said, this guy does a slow turnaround. There's two cops standing there staring at him just glaring at him. He looks at him kind of looks looks back Scott looks again back and goes all right. I'll take your bed See but I love that at least he was being such an asshole, but he found the huge just in time to save his ass There's always a time to come back from it you know what I mean exactly that's awesome So who are kind of some I mean because obviously this is what I was most you told me a long time ago ago you met Andre Dawson. Did I get the story right when I said it? Close, yeah.
00:12:08
He played what, late 80s, early 90s in Chicago? With Chicago. Yeah, because we did all the Cubs charters. Actually, the first charter I ever did was a Cubs charter like a month after I started today. In St. Louis or in Chicago? In St. Louis. It was an old 737, but we're waiting for the equipment truck to come in. It's just basically a Penske hauling truck. Like the team equipment. All the stuff, all their bags, everything, all the bats, everything. But the first one we did, we pulled the stair truck up, and the buses were pulling up. They came in from Pittsburgh, and they were getting ready to clinch the pennant that year in 84.
00:12:51
I was one. Go ahead. Off-walking, Terry Carey, drunkard and crap. Oh, shocker. There's a fucking shocker. But he comes walking along, shaking all of our hands and stuff, And I was like, God damn, this is going to be a cool job. Yeah. I mean, I was a month in. I'm like. Oh, that was a month in. A month in. That's amazing. No wonder you stayed. Well, then towards the end of his career, he had a thing in his contract. Because he didn't do all the road games, I believe. Terry Carey. Yeah, towards the end of the year. He always did St. Louis.
00:13:22
But in his contract, he had a limo at his disposal 24-7. When you're that drunk. When we would go get the buses to bring them across over onto the ramp, there would be a limo with them. And so the last time I did a Cubs charter, or one of the last times, I was the gate agent. I went on the airplane to tell the crew that, hey, you know, they're leaving the stadium. They'll be here in about 20 minutes, you know, heads up. I walk on. There's all the flight attendants and pilots sitting around. There's Harry sitting there. They're eating, just holding court, telling stories. I sat there for probably a good six, seven minutes just listening to that guy.
00:14:03
Really? Just tell stories, man. It was just like, I was just like, holy crap, man. That's awesome. Glasses were thicker than shit. You're right. Yeah. Oh, God. But here's a, were you the one that knew the Bush Stadium name? Yeah. Yeah. That was good. I like that. Yeah. You probably knew that already. Yeah. Do you know, well, you guys knew Harry was Cardinals. He was working. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know why he left? Yeah. He was banging Augie Bush as well. Wait, what? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. What the fuck? Erik, pour us another drink. What? Yeah. This is why that man's a legend. This is why. I fucking love him even more now.
00:14:37
Yeah. Gus, he ran him out of town. Holy shit. But anyhow, back to your Andre. What a boss. Back to Andre Dawson. Yeah. Same thing. The buses were coming, and it was one of those 727 stretches where they have the stairs come out of the tail, drop down. Yep. and um so i ran up real quick to tell the crew hey they're coming you know the buses are here i turn around to go back down well they're coming it's only one way one way and there's no jetway pulled up so the exit rail right there there's a beverage cart sitting in it so i went and stood behind the beverage cart and on top of the beverage carts and they don't do this anymore they started winding down but the amount of liquor on these charters was unbelievable but they had um just fists of different stuff sitting on top of it.
00:15:25
Yeah. And Andre was one of the first guys up. I mean, I had looked at him. I go, hey, how you doing? He goes, well, I'm doing well. And he looks, he goes, this one ought to do. And he grabbed the thing of Jack. And I go, all of it? And he goes, yeah, we'll see. He walked onto his seat. It's a 40-minute flight. I mean, Jesus Christ. I was like, damn. I mean. I always wonder how much he finished. I do, too. Well, as far as it goes tonight, he finished the whole thing. In 40 minutes, he did it. That's my man right there. I mean, everybody I met, I mean, for the most part, well, one person wasn't. Okay.
00:16:04
Wait, that's famous? Very very famous baseball player I want to guess Give me a hint That walked off and I standing there and I like I never asked I not an autograph guy so I would always just hey how you doing Hello how you doing That was it Hey, how you doing? Wouldn't even look. Jesus. Because he thought you were going to ask him for something maybe? I don't know. Or he's just a pompous asshole. I think he's just a pompous asshole. What team? San Francisco Giants. Barry Bonds. That doesn't shock me at all. That actually was going to be one of my just guesses. He just seems like a prick. He's great, but he seems like a prick.
00:16:41
Yeah, he was. Isn't that funny that there's certain celebrities where you're like, it's just not shocking when you're an asshole. But what other celebrities have you had? What was the other one he said? Oh, Kathy Harris. Yes! There she is.
00:16:59
I didn't know you had a crush on her. I had a big thing for her. She was same time frame. I think it was early 90s. Early 90s. She was doing some ad campaign for Anheuser-Busch. So she had been in town. Because she was mostly just a model, I think. I don't think she ever really acted much. No, no. Necessary roughness, are you kidding me? She was the kicker in that. Yeah, that's true. Holy fuck. I forgot about that. How do you pull this crap out? See, that's the thing. I loved her. So I had to think for her. Shaun was in love. Oh, well. Yeah. So she comes to the gate. I check her in and I'm just looking at her going, I mean, she had hardly any makeup on and I'm just like, Oh, she is just absolutely.
00:17:41
And she was with her sister. And I'm like, who's probably also a 10. Oh yeah. I'm like, man, you guys are just beautiful. So they go and sit down and I called downstairs to operations. Cause a buddy of mine that we called Colonel, like you guys had an absolute crush on her. I said, you're not going to, Oh, so you knew it was her right away. Oh yeah. Okay. So I go, you're not going to believe who I just checked in. He's like, who? And I go, Kathy Ireland, man, phone drops. Boom. He comes running up. Can you just imagine? Here it is.
00:18:10
Excuse me, ma'am. Oh, I didn't see it for something. In his locker, he had the Sports Illustrated one where she's like, I don't know if she's kneeling or standing, but she's kind of looking over her shoulder, and she's got a thong on, and there's like sand on each ass. I think I remember that picture. He had that hanging in his locker. It's now in his hand as he's walking towards her. No way. And he walks right up to her, and he goes, oh kathy arlington goes would you sign this for me and she looked at i'm standing there i'm like i can't believe he's gonna ask her to sign this and she goes you don't have anything better than that he goes what's better than this i was like oh my god she did she was a trooper she signed it he was a happy camper that's awesome yeah you got a dickhead baseball player can't say anything and then he got her oh yeah i mean like every guy acts like a clown in front of her and she's still nice enough exactly she easily could have just brushed that guy off no kidding no kidding but he what a good point though what the hell is better than that right you know unless you're gonna give me a nudie photo right now i don't know what else you got yeah and this is all you have a polaroid camera on you like yeah that was before you know selfies or anything like that yeah god imagine if you had like you know that job then but with like a smartphone and like you'd have pictures with so many people and stuff you know now granted i'm sure that might be part of why people are such assholes now that are famous because everyone's asking them for a photo which could be you know but i don't know i also kind of
00:19:43
look at it as like the reason you're popular is for these people so well i see it both ways i can see where you get annoying but at the same time it's like you want this quick pop you know i mean there's there's ways to do it you know what i mean and other than just being a complete ass is not turning and not saying anything yeah i always feel weird about it like i i was at a festival and you know the band that i went to the festival for was standing in front of me watching the act before they went on yeah and aaron's like you're not gonna go say anything i'm like no i just feel weird like i don't want to like disturb them they're just sitting here enjoying this music it's yeah i i think i don't know if i could do it either i'd feel like an ass yeah and i think there's certain situations like everyone's heard where i kind of think of a celebrity that i heard this about but they're out to dinner and they're like hey not while i'm at dinner you know i'm with my family or whatever but then they're like if you see me leaving after this i'll happily sign whatever i'm like that's fair like leave the guy alone or or if he's at the urinal or something it's like let him let him get his junk away yeah it's like dude there's a story in st louis with kurt warner at um really on one of the italian restaurants down there he was at my wedding but he was at him and his wife were at a uh one of the restaurants on the hill italian section and evidently the place was packed and no one bothered him and so when he got up and left he went to the manager or whoever and bought everybody's dinner in there and thanked him
00:21:13
That's awesome. No shit for not bothering him. That's awesome. Mahomes did that this year. Yeah, did he? Like right before they were going to the playoffs, he was with his wife. Same thing there in a pizza place, and like nobody went up to him. Yeah. And right before he left, he thanked him. You know, I really appreciate you giving us blah, blah. I love Kansas City. And they left, and then next thing you know, everyone found out that the bill is everyone. See, that's the move, man. Yeah, right. You rub my back. I rub yours. Yeah. Respect it and get that word out. I'll tell you, the one that I had probably the highest respect for that I'd ever met.
00:21:43
Any Bears fans? Oh, yeah. They're kind of my backup team. Yeah, I grew up a Bears fan. Yeah. Changed to Chiefs because I was rebelling against them. Hey, at least you admit why. I just gave up on the whole thing. You get my ass kicked every time. After they screwed over St. Louis, I just said enough. Right? Yeah. We can talk about that. Oh, fuck. That pissed me off. But I got to meet and talk to over a course of about two months, like every week. He'd come in and fly out. was Walter Payton. Really? Really. Yeah. Well, she's like the man of the year. So he's notorious for being the best human. Oh, my God.
00:22:21
I tell you what, he was going to be part of a team. This was back when the NFL was doing the expansion when Carolina and Jacksonville got to. St. Louis was trying to get a team. He was going to be part owner. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, he was going to be part of the ownership group. and so he he'd come in and the first time i had him on a flight it was an outbound flight and of course it's delayed now and i see him pinned up against the wall by i mean at least 15 20 business guys all standing there wanting autographs sure this is early 90s before cell phones but uh so i get weasel my way in there i'm like hey mr payton i can get you in a private room oh no no i'm good i'm good he just stood there and signed talked to everybody yeah wow well then The next week he came in, I worked the gate with a guy named Andre.
00:23:09
And every week we were together and they're working, and Walter would stop by. He'd go, John, Andre, you need anything? Starbucks, you need anything? Juice, you want me to get you anything? No, we're good, Mr. Payton, we're good. It's Walter. Okay, he'd walk off. Day or two later, he'd come back out. Hey, how you guys doing today? Call us by name, shake our hands, talk to us. Hey, just let me know when I can get on the flight the latest. Okay, all right, no worries. Jesus. But a girl I worked with, actually, I have to tell my wife to cover her. There's a girl I dated. Was on a flight from Chicago.
00:23:43
We can cut this. She was from Chicago. Her mom and dad lived there, and she was flying back and sat next to them in a first-class seat coming back, and she said the people were just horrible to them, you know, wanting autographs, wanting them to sign everything. And she didn't say anything until they took off and said, hey, you know, I know who you are. And, you know, my parents are big fans of yours. She goes, I'm not a football fan. And said, we just talked about our families, you know, the whole flight there. Said about a week later, a mom called her, like, almost in tears. Said a package had arrived, a box from Walter Payton.
00:24:17
What? Signed jerseys, hats, signed Wheaties boxes. And then a letter he wrote telling her what an incredible job they did raising her. Oh, my God. I was like, yeah, I can see why this. I was like, that's amazing. God. Absolutely amazing. I mean, neat guy. I mean, everybody's trying to be Walter Payton Man of the Year, right? That's the award that goes out, so there you go. Yeah, now you know. That's from somebody else that just, as a bystander here, guys, he's really that good. I'm not even a Bears fan. Right. You know who will never get that award? Barry fucking Bond. That piece of shit. Marty, grow a head-looking motherfucker.
00:24:52
Who keep you going? Well, another story that, I mean, along those lines, that someone that cares about people, and I never really was. my brother used to live in the bay area and had a friend that was her one of her big jobs every year was um she ran the uh corporate tent at the at&t pebble beach oh awesome so i was fortunate enough to go out about a half dozen times and play security yeah on saturdays because they had they were the only my brother told the gal you know you're losing too much money because you're the only tent that has a full bar open bar with a bartender yeah and everybody's just coming in and taking drinks. Drinking everything, yeah. And so we put these little, you know, Dockers or Levi's tags on their, the things they have to wear to get up in the corporate tent area. And we just stand there on Saturday afternoon and say, okay, you can come in. You know, if you see a celebrity, you come in. And one of the, I don't know, some big wig at Levi's came out to my brother and talked to him and said, hey, if you see John Denver, it was my sister's in here and huge fan.
00:25:57
and she was mentally challenged. If you see her, can you have him come in and just say hi? Okay. So we see John Denver. Call him over. My brother tells him the situation. He goes, oh, show me where she's at. So he goes in, sits her down. We find out later from our friend that was inside the tent, he sat with her for over 45 minutes, and every time someone came up and wanted an autograph, he said, nope, this is our one-on-one time. Oh, my God. He goes, I'll sign anything later. Best thing, though, the craziest thing was the next year, he walked up and asked for her by name went in and sat with her again jesus i was like wow what a neat guy right because i mean you just don't hear especially these days you don't hear those stories at all back then they were even rare you know what i mean but wow and think about that like like i can't you know sometimes i can't remember somebody's name that i just met exactly somebody like that they need so many people yeah so many people every day exactly yeah wow but one another real quick AT&T one was we're standing there one Saturday afternoon and Clint Eastwood goes walking by he's going down to the U.S. tobacco tent he's in there for a little bit and he comes walking back and he's we're right right on the curve you know it's a it's on the whole three I think the corporate tent so it's a dog leg left and that's so the tents all dog leg around there and you see this guy walking with a program right towards because everyone stopped and just watching Clint Eastwood and this guy walks right up to him, stops right in his tracks.
00:27:28
He goes, Clint, could I have your autograph? He looks down at the thing. He goes, you got a pen? All the color from the guy's face drained. His buddies are over there laughing. All of a sudden, Clint looks at him and goes, hard to sign without a pen, and off he went.
00:27:47
Now, see, and he wasn't an asshole. Oh, no, he wasn't. What are you supposed to do without a pen, man? Why would he carry a pen? Yeah, but it was that was just friggin and you know what that guy gets to tell that story for the rest of Jesus Christ almost had yeah graph. Yeah, probably worth more than the autograph really No, no, no, so carry a fucking pen with you when you're at this event, you know what I mean? I mean you hear of like, you know some celebrities like or their publicist or whatever has a mark or whatever But yeah, I guess you're all by yourself. I'm not gonna have a fucking pen on me. It's good. So that's hilarious He's still kicking too, man. Yeah we he's got he's got to be pushing a hundo right is he i think gotta be up in the mid 90s yeah yeah i don't know it just that blows my mind you know as we're as we're getting older like and i know i'm the young one in the group i should probably get that out there but uh like it's just weird he's 95. oh i thought you said he's dead i'm like no he's not no 95. so i was bright that's yeah that's crazy but you know all the people we grew up watching and stuff like that are starting to go out and it's like i remember there's been years where i'm like what is going on and then you just realize you're just getting older you're like nothing's going on you idiot like you're you're not 20 anymore this life well this sucks i don't like it so um that's awesome i'm just realizing right now that my phone is not on me and i got a text message from ben oh about do you remember what it's three things that he had that were they still cool so part of of what we do on here is people ask us stuff you'll know like actually wait we have to ask him
00:29:19
the main thing do you pee in the shower oh hell yeah everybody does yes yes yes me and a select couple other people don't so anyway as you were saying i was trying to remember the ones that he said though there was one that i had for sure that i remember for sure and he said um what happened to mopeds back in the day like everybody had a moped did and i think they're cool still yeah are they still cool or like or is it what else we remember in high school they weren't cool like if you if you drove one you're like oh cool yeah but then i feel like then they but that's like everything nerds weren't cool now they're cool like everything that we would get made fun of is now totally fine i feel like everything went to like kind of the scooter i mean like it You're talking like the electric scooter, not a moped.
00:30:12
No, I'm talking like the ones that look like a moped, but they're just like the Vespa. That's a moped. Yeah. You can call it a different name, but it's a moped. Yeah. Well, it has a different name. Just a better design. Is it really a moped if you don't have the big orange flag hanging off the back of it? Did you guys ever ride one? Did you ever ride one? I rode one. I never rode one. So I've never even ridden one. But the other day we were at the pool and our buddy Matt, shout out Matty. he i forgot he has one he fucking pulls up on a moped rolls up yeah and he was like you could take it for a spin i was like i'm all wet he's like i don't give a shit i still didn't do it because i was in the pool and stuff but i'm like i see him for sale so a buddy of ours you know nick and jen they have a cabin up somewhere and he found out his mom has a moped that she just never uses and it's like perfect shape so she's sending it to the cabin so they can just tote around on that oh that's perfect right that's great i would totally rock a moped rocking on that hell yeah dude see i like i like the concept because it's cheap transportation yes like you can run on two gallons of gas for like two weeks yeah but like i don't know it's still just i i have that kid in me that was like oh it's not super cool but when i was younger my buddy had one and it was a single wheel up front and two wheels in the back oh it's right and it and it leaned like you It leaned to turn.
00:31:32
I can't remember what the hell it was called, but like when you turned, it leaned. Did it have a sidecar? Man, was this homemade? I want to get in the sidecar. I feel like I'm the perfect size to be in the sidecar. You know what I mean? Is that a fucking midget in a sidecar? I know a couple of our listeners will know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about because my buddy Eli, I don't think he listens, but a bunch of my other friends do. and Eli had this moped and we like I had rollerblades and I took a ski rope and he would pull me around town. It's all funny. It was all before we had cars. Before we had cars, this was what we're going to the pool.
00:32:14
So I mean, I guess it was kind of cool. See? In the winter we used to go hooky bobbin What the hell There we go You jump on grab on the back of bumper on after it snows on streets that haven been plowed on cars at stop signs just hang on to the bumper and start skiing behind it as they go it sounds like back to the future i remember that being cool but did the people know you were hanging on no so so when they just start going 70 you're like oh fuck i can't I mean, we're right in town here, you know? That's true. Just on these little side streets. You can't go that fast. But we did. Well, once we started driving, it used to be a lot bigger thing.
00:32:54
Once we started getting our driver's license, then we'd fake each other. Yeah. That's hilarious. What's up next? So it was called hooky bobbing? That's what we called it. Okay. Yeah. Like, if you're on a skateboard, I think it's called sketching. Really? I have heard that. Yeah. Because I remember hearing that about the Back to the Future. And so that's why it's interesting to know different names for it. Yeah. Yeah, sketching. Okay. That's what they call it if you're on a skateboard. Isn't it weird that there's so many different names for the same thing? I think you should look at both of those and see if they're still up there.
00:33:24
Look at the sea of sketching, if it's still that. Yeah. It's going to be some weird porn move or something. Oh, we have a virus. If it follows the trend like our kids, they'll just be like, it's a skit. Yeah. Because they shorten everything. They can't make any real. They have full work. Aren't you glad? So like your kids are older now, which is fucking weird to me. But like, I mean, you're held steering. he's the young 22 holy shit yeah but like they're out of i don't know our kids being the young age where they make up stupid sayings and like shit like that you know for the most part yeah yeah yeah like maybe they're hanging on to a couple but i'm still not cool they're still cool yeah you are you are you're on the right platform to be cool they're okay bringing it back here i'm trying to get my crud back.
00:34:08
Yeah. Okay, so sketching is still a term. Hookie bobbing refers to a winter activity where people often, children, hold on to the bumper of a moving vehicle to be pulled along over snow or ice. It's a type of sketching. It's a type of sketching also known as bum riding. Okay, I like that. Hey, baby, you want to go bum riding? You just get some really slick shoes and you lay down turn? No, we had all sorts. It's like barefoot skiing. But again, until they turn a little fast and then you lose your grip and then you go fucking flying into a house. No, we'll worry about that when it happens. Rub some dirt on it, you'll be fine.
00:34:48
So, John, where were you when you did this? Because it says it's a regional term. Oh, right here. A couple blocks over here. I've hooky bobbed right on the streets over here. It says hooky bobbing is a regional term, especially common in the northwest U.S. Oh, really? Really? I thought that was interesting, too. well and this is okay back in the 70s so man what were the 70s like they were pretty damn good i mean don't remember much yeah yeah basically you know you went outside when you got up and came in when the lights came on you know it's funny we say those kind of things to our kids like you know oh you know we came back because it was dinner time and that was it and they're like what do you mean what would you do i'm like whatever we wanted yeah you know what i mean we left and just came home yeah we'd go down to indian creek all the time and hang around and just anything yeah i mean there's always a you find a baseball game a kickball game whatever there was always something to do what made you move to st louis united so you just you got the because yeah yeah i had um i was worth uh a little commuter called mississippi valley airlines that was okay they flew these little called short 330s, unpressurized airplanes, 30 seaters.
00:36:04
Jesus. But their hook was, they couldn't fly above 12,000 feet. Oh my God. Because otherwise you'd need to be pressured. Yeah. And a lot of barf bags. Oh God. But their big little niche thing was, every flight was a free wine and cheese flight. Oh my God. They'd have these boxes of colony wine, a red and a white. And we'd have our refrigerators full of this stuff because we always had to put fresh on. So, hell, when I first started out here, we'd have to clean our little 30-seat airplane, and then we'd go over to walk over onto the United one with our half jugs of wine, and they'd have whatever food was left over their flight from Denver.
00:36:47
No, it's okay. And we'd eat and drink on their flight, and then they'd clean, and we'd go home. God, talk about a job of benefits. Oh, it was back in the day. What are we having tonight? Wine and cheese again. And again. You might get some pretzels. But no, so then I'm a guy that worked at United here. I told when he left to go to St. Louis when they opened up. I said, if there's ever an opening, let me know. And a lot of year later, he contacted me. So you just wanted to go to St. No, I just wanted to get on with United Airlines. I mean, I wanted to get on with the major. Yeah, sure. And he called and flew down there and interviewed and got hired.
00:37:24
so then when you work for the airline you can fly all over the place then too right yeah like like totally free as much as you want it it varies it there's times there's now to make you pay i know when i left i mean i haven't been in it for 20 years so i don't know what they do now but it's towards the end they're making you pay tax like so much but i mean for the longest time it wasn't totally free but like if i wanted to go st louis to chicago and um got a first class seat it was about four or five dollars holy shit come out of your paycheck wow i mean okay i've never flown first class so it's fun lots of wine and cheese i worked with some crazy people and this guy i'd like to know what he's doing nowadays but on his days off when we first started with united i mean i think i started at six dollars and 35 cents an hour holy shit yeah um so he on his days off he would fly from st louis and go to the west coast like san fran or la and then back and back then you know the computer systems weren't like they are now oh yeah watch everything so he'd book these fake reservations in first class so he'd block seats well then when he'd one up it he'd make a special meal like a seafood platter oh my god and stuff so then he'd get on these flights and i'm like we're always like joey g why are you doing this all the time he goes crap man he goes i get meals i get drinks and i get a movie each way he goes he goes it cost me
00:38:56
20 bucks he's balling out yeah so then i go i go well how do you get this uh seafood platter he goes well you just stand there and ask the flight since any special meals no one showed up for oh my god sure enough there's that seafood platter for you what a fucking genius He did that a lot. I'll tell you what he's doing right now. He's defrauding banks. Probably a president. Yeah. He joined a crime syndicate. Or he's running, you know, one of the major companies.
00:39:25
Holy shit. What a genius. I wonder how long he did that for us. Oh, he did it for quite a while. He'd go back. I mean, but back then, the movies were the same for each month. So, I mean, he'd go like once a month. He'd go. Just to watch the movie? Yeah, we'd get a good meal. Yeah, we'd get a good meal and have a few drinks. Wow. It's cheaper than going to the movies now. Oh, yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. No, but the bad thing is it's standby only. Okay, that's what I thought. Yeah, I was like, so then it all goes by. Oh, yeah, okay. And nowadays with, I don't know. With how exact they make it in. There's only four airlines.
00:40:00
I mean, so it's tough. I mean, I think it'd be a lot harder. I don't know how hard it is, but I mean, the plane I've done in the last few years, every flight i've been on is almost every one of them yeah that's like everybody's well your son's going to be a pilot and you'll get a fly you know free for standby or whatever but i'm like i most flights i go on the standby list doesn't get touched maybe one or two people but yeah well one thing one thing you will learn is once you can get into their system you can find out what what they're booked to and then make your plans around that going okay i want to go to chicago to london but okay this monday this flight looks great you know yeah stuff like that better chances on right yeah exactly but i mean it's but then you know something happens and it's i mean because hell when i started in st louis i mean st louis was a major major hub for t-dub and ozark when i started down there there was just between just from st louis to chicago there was i'd say on average every day 45 flights a day wow i think seven or eight different airlines flying just that route just one way i mean it was i mean there was so god so many airlines that went so so like i look looking back at like first class they always made it look so ritzy back when you could smoke on planes and like all this thing right so like what was it actually like in first class and i asked that because now i don't even know what first class is like but i know it's not like it used to be oh first class now is freaking very very nice i mean it's full i just
00:41:32
I saw a video of the new 787 Dreamliner or something that's coming out in the first class. They've got dual pods, so you can have two people, and it's all enclosed by yourself. So it's like a mini hotel room? Yeah, it's all laid down. You got your own TV and everything in there. So it's probably the planes that you've been on. They're smaller. Yeah. You get on the smaller one, the regionals. It's like you sit up front, but it's not really like a... Basically, first class on most of the ones. I mean, on most air buses, the seats are bigger. I mean, instead of setting three across, they only set two across.
00:42:06
Yep. The food's better. Yeah. The drinks are free. You just probably haven't been on a plane that actually has it. Right. You know what I mean? You get warm cookies. Ooh. I do like a warm cookie. Oh, you're talking. Because how weird was that, though? Sorry, go ahead, Erik. I was just going to say, when I was working for Collins, I got to fly business a couple of times. Anything over 10 hours, we got to fly business. nice and that's kind of a step down from first but yeah it was nice like you can lay down like so on a 10 hour flight plus like you want to be able to sleep oh yeah like you gotta you know so i could lay down and sleep they gave me noise canceling headphones like you know you had more space you didn't have somebody right on top of you so you have a baby crying in your you got meals you know like meals were included all that is it it's weird to me that you used to be able to smoke on planes oh god because like there's no way to filter that out even right it's just like it was just it was like walking through it's like a bingo hall you're like oh fuck hey what's even worse is when i first started we used to have to clean those airplanes at night the overnighters we'd have to clean the take those get those little ass trays out yeah and get them out and uh this girl karen uh my buddy scotty it's well i think it's his now ex-wife but she'd be digging the gum out of them and stuff. I mean, since about 40 years now, I've called her Gumby.
00:43:26
I'm like, you don't have to do it. Yes, you do. I'm like, no way, man. I'm not doing that. She did it one time and that nickname stuck. Stuck forever. It's a pretty good name. Yeah. That's pretty good. That whole artist saying, you know, you paint a thousand pictures and you're never an artist, but you suck one dick. You're a cocksucker for life. She's like, John, it was one ashtray. first class and business class now are totally different than what they were back i mean i know back when the 747 first came out like say late 60s early 70s in that upper deck area they never used to have seats up there used to just be a lounge on a lot of airlines they had a bartender up there just a bar hang out and yeah holy shit oh yeah i've always wanted to experience that i I hope that I got that on business.
00:44:16
And it was like, no, you stay in your seat. We'll bring you the drinks. Yeah. Say, that's pretty cool. Right? But it's, so tell me, like, at least my experience has been different airlines have the planes configured differently too. So like you could have a 777 or 767 and it's different than the next airline, especially in those upper classes because they just design them differently. They choose how they configure it. I mean, because I know like a lot of the international ones, they'll cram them in the back. You know, they won't have hardly anything. Yeah. First or business. It's just basically cattle cars.
00:44:54
I couldn't even imagine. Like I was on a 16-hour flight from India and I'm like, if I didn't have business, this would have been awful. Oh my, I couldn't imagine. Yeah, I've never had to be on that long of a flight. I'm not sure. So that would drive me nuts. Yeah. I mean, I basically took a bath in the bathroom, like just to like get that stuff out of my eyes brush my teeth like you know it's like i'm living on this thing for two days basically speaking of bathrooms you ever make that mile high club buddy or do you want to plead or do you want to plead the fifth i will say no okay i don't know i like that's just a funny thing to me i don't know how anyone pulls that off well i don't think i mean my fat ass ain't pulling it off of somebody else.
00:45:40
I'm going to be sweaty and tear an ACL just trying to do it. I feel like it's got to be a thing, though. Well, it is, but I think it's just like other things where you're like, oh, yeah, I can say I did it, but was it really a good thing? 30 seconds in the back bathroom. Yeah, just to be able to say you did it. It would be all right. Between that and a hole-in-one. Pull a 300 game. I'm like, there you go. There you go. Now I'm good to go. I mean, that's kind of a hole in one if you think about it.
00:46:12
All right. How about not to brag, but I do have one of those 300s. Do you? Yeah. All right. Oh, I forgot. Yeah. John's a really good boy. No, I'm not very good. I'm just. Yeah, you are. If you bowl a 300. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. And you have more than one, don't you? No. Oh, I thought you did. I got two 800s series. That's. Fuck. I feel like that's fucking crazier than a 300. to be honest. It actually is. It's harder. Wow. I have three 300s and a, what was my high series? Like 827. We? Silver Strike Bowling. Oh. I had a feeling. I was like, my fucking naked ass you did. Hey, calm down, Dick Hicks.
00:46:51
My face is on their website and everything. That's true. It was like the ninth person in America to do it. That was one of your other obsessions as we're talking about. We had poker. We have beer craft beer and then fucking Silver Strike. still am obsessed with silver. If I walk into a bar and they have one, you will see me instantly get hard. I'm like, because they're hard to find now. They don't exist. We always had to pull you away from dart. Like, oh, we're here for darts, but it's over there. They got a silver machine. I'm like, we have league going on. I'm like, just one more game. It's a bowling game?
00:47:22
It's a bowling game? Yeah. It's like, you know, golden tee. Did you ever see the golf? Yeah, the golf ones. It's basically the same design of the game. It's like you roll the ball, you spin it the same way like you do golden tee, but it's But when I got into it, the bar I went to was like known. They had four machines, which was unheard of. They were just known and they were right next to Camden. So they were close with them. But like the first 300 ever bold was in that bar. And then I was like the ninth one. And then the first 900 series was bold in that bar. It was like the owner's son and his friends.
00:47:52
Like they were just played it all the time. So, but yeah, now it's kind of died off. If you get me, say you're bringing it back. Don't tempt me. that'll be the gift that we get you. Get that patron going after the side-by-side. I'm getting a Silver Strike machine, baby. Well, hold on, hold on. I'm going to throw back to one of your, I don't know what episode it was, but how are you on that GoFundMe for the tanning thing?
00:48:15
You know, having one was my idea. Why are you doing this? It's my fucking birthday, for God's sakes. Yeah, we should have done it for your birthday. Let's wrap this show up. Well, if you don't, it's funny that you ask, because the big thing was, if you don't remember last time, he got burnt, right? His legs were fried from being out there. I'm still peeling. And our comment was once those bait I go once you burn and turn back to your white desk in a few days we we go get it done And he sends a picture of peeling skin i like here we go it about time to go get the spray tan cara loves like peeling the skin and she pulled off like a sheet of paper the other day i'm like it was so gross it was gross it was like snake skin it was that's what it sounds like when it rips off too it's my whole leg dude it's terrible um so we got to get that going here we've had like five people offer to pay for it what did we say the other day though we had an idea where like he tans the best and then you t and then well they have three different shades so we're gonna make me a three we're gonna make you a two and make him a one and we're gonna hope we're all the same color i just need the glaze like i don't even need that's what i'm saying you're like the lightest one and then i'll be the middle then we'll get him the darkest one i just hope i come out looking like oh i don't know patreon here we come we're getting some stuff together yeah i bet they have mobile spray tanning we just get it done in here okay we're good make sure you have the uh full video yeah exactly something tells me these assholes won't let that happen without a lot of cameras yes yes um i got asked today so um yeah the cardinals are gonna win yeah um tanya was asking me she said you gotta ask it's big
00:49:54
oh you know tanya oh big trend and oh you know tanya that's his sister-in-law yeah oh is it Really? Yeah. So, um, anyway, shout out to Tanya. I said, I'd ask. So is the, is the world flat? Cause that's the big thing on TikTok that they're asking all the pilots. Again? Really? Why is this coming back? She's like, you gotta ask. I'm like, I go, I don't think he was a pilot. She's like, we'll still ask him. So maybe you've heard like, it's like, no, it's not flat. Yeah. It's not flat. I just, if it is, where's the water go in the oceans? Just drips off. And where's the sun go at night? Yeah, why don't we have a bunch of pictures of that great waterfall?
00:50:31
Exactly. Because that would look dope. You know what I mean? If that was real. There you go, Tanya. I didn't know that was it. There's your answer here. I know a few years ago that was going around with morons, but I didn't know it was coming back. Now, you know, like social media is all about getting in this little bubble. So if you're one that believes it, then they'll just feed you enough to know that. Then all of a sudden you're going, everybody thinks the Flat Earthers. Echo chamber, yeah, because you surround yourself with people that think the exact same way. The Flat Earthers, there's all kinds of them.
00:50:56
I did listen to a podcast with a flat earther on at one time and that was mind boggling. Yeah. Yeah. So I've, I have been told that there is the flat earther club in Cedar Rapids. What? Yeah. That throws like a great party. Like once a year they throw like this big party. It's like a steak dinner and it's like flat earthers and he's talking, it's like a fun thing or whatever. So they have the party when they think like the, it's going to turn enough that we fall. That's the whole thing. So I don't know the theme, but it's someone just told me, I'm like, I don't think I'm going to go to that. And they're like, it's not like, it's actually kind of a lot of fun to go to it.
00:51:33
I'm starting to think that this person might've been a flat earther. I know that there's lots of booze and like steak is a good way to invite me to a place to get me to want to go. It's like those religions are, it's like, this is the day the world's going to end so that, you know, they do all these things and then it doesn't happen. It's like, Oh, nevermind. We'll try again next year. Like I will go listen to some bullshit for steak and bourbon. oh for sure yeah i mean you can say whatever you want i'll drown myself yeah i'll go with it did we have an email speaking of uh well real quick you said the food thing eric smoked a tri-tip and my yeah that was legit man that was fucking delicious so we had kara surprised me well caron i carot planned it but uh i think her and your wife kind of weren't cahoots yeah and then they just said can you make the food yeah so eric smoked wings and a tri-tip and we that we kept the pool open uh like late last night and had a pool party for my birthday and it was a total surprise i had no idea what's happening but yeah dude that tri-tip was fucking good it was good i want some more right yeah if you ever want to like it's it's not a cut of meat you can always find because they usually use different parts of it to make other steaks or whatever but like nelson's always has them frozen um and they're good quality there at nelson's meat market here in cedar rapids but i found them at hy-vee like i was like holy shit they actually have it here and it was a decent price so i bought it isn't the tri-tip part of the brisket yeah like that's where it usually gets used in a different cut yeah so um but the the nice thing is it's it's not a steak you want to just cook on the grill because it's kind of like a roast like it's going to be a little too tough
00:53:05
yep but if you slow cook it god like with the smoker two and a half three hours for a decent sized one yeah yeah turns out it's like great steak if you're at home smoke a fucking tri-tip because I woke up thinking about it today. I was like, I want some wine for breakfast. I went to sleep thinking about it, and I woke up thinking about it. So it gave me some meat. Do we have one? I don't know if we had one. I don't think we do, but was there anything else in Ben's tech? I forgot. You can't. Okay. I can't remember the other two. So we'll have to hit that one back up. Sorry, Ben. Yeah. Bring it back here for you, the remote producer here.
00:53:38
My bad. No, it's fine. So any other things that stick out as far as the best people you met or the worst? I've seen, God, see the best in people. I mean, it's amazing. I mean, it's, it's wild. Yeah. I mean, so when did you get out of the industry? I left at the, uh, right around the end of 05. Okay. So, uh, yeah, after, well, United had, um, about this time in the summer of 2000, most United people refer to it as the summer from hell yeah um we'd come out of that esop we were talking about beforehand um and the uh new management company uh started dicking the pilots around on the negotiations and they did a slowdown and when the pilots want to do a slowdown they can cripple an airline oh yeah so when your your company makes the national news as one of the top three stories for three nights in a row yes you know you're not doing about very well so they were on like a pseudo strike kind of Yeah, they're just, I mean, you could actually, I mean, at a very fast walk, maybe a slow jog, I'll walk these airplanes as they taxied.
00:54:52
I mean, we'd have, you could hear on the tower, um, sitting in operations, you know, other airlines going, Hey, can we go around these United guys? Cause they, everyone knew what was going on and then they'd get into cities like Cedar Rapids. Oh, we got a mechanical. Oh my God. No, they don't have maintenance and. Yeah. You know, just, just, just shutting it. Just messing things up. Yeah. And then, you know, the company caved and gave them a massive raise and everyone's like, This isn't going to last and gave all the other unions massive raise and then filed bankruptcy. That's crazy. Yeah, that is crazy.
00:55:23
The shit they get away with doing this stuff. Oh, it's criminal. That's a whole other topic. How did, so it just, it kind of dawned on me when you were talking about the years that you were doing it. Like, how did, how did things change end of 2001? You know, like, obviously. Oh, shit. That's kind of where I was. That was the other part that everything changed after 9-11. I mean, that was beyond weird. Where were you at when that happened? I was actually when I saw the towers get hit. I was holding my six-month-old daughter, feeding her, rocking in a chair in my living room. My wife was at work.
00:56:01
We worked opposite shifts, so we didn't have to do daycare. But where did you live? St. Louis. St. Louis. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I mean, so we had, I can't remember how many, I think we had five or six airplanes that dropped in on us that day. And they sat there for quite a while. Sure. I mean, we literally. Because they just landed everyone as close as they could, wherever they were close to. And so they told us, you know, United, you know, as kind-hearted as they are, said, you don't have to come to work. Well, will we get paid? No. Okay. So we went in and just basically watched TV and walked out.
00:56:34
We actually washed one airplane. we got bored one day so we just went out sure the downstairs scrubbing it got in the the icing trucks and you know anything else to do right i'm getting paid so i guess yeah huh yeah it was a bizarre time right after that and then you know this all the security stuff i mean there are so many holes in it yeah right yeah i mean i could still get by i mean any airline employee could get bypass security sure it was just that's i've never because isn't i'm pretty sure i mean i know this was true at one point the tsa is still to this day never caught anything like that was that big of a threat no i don't i mean there's some guns and stuff i think they get every once in a while people are dumb enough to try and get through but yeah no i was and some people forget about things so like when i went on a cruise like people were getting pulled off left and right and that was because like whatever bag they use like their husband took uh hunting and there was like a shotgun shell in it well the dogs sniff it out or whatever and you get pulled off to the side and you're like we have to check everything now and but it was always an accident no one even knew it was in there you know i don't know that's crazy those dogs are pretty pretty good we had uh because i was working the bag room one day and not every day but just about every day that ozark had a flight come in from brownsville texas which is way down to southern tip of texas they put that dog on that ozark guy'd be sitting there throwing bags on the belt to go upstairs and that dog would just be running on that thing, sniffing him, sniffing.
00:58:01
And I remember one day, I'm just sitting there because our bag room was right across from the belts, and we just sitting there watching this dog, and all of a sudden he grabbed this duffel bag and cop got him off, said whatever, and threw his ball, and the dog went and sat, and he radioed upstairs, let the bag go upstairs. So I called my guy upstairs and said, hey, man, you got some stuff going to go down up there. Sure enough, they busted a dude. Oh, Jesus. A lot of cocaine. Marijuana, I think, mostly. Oh, was it? You know, back in the 80s. So that was always my joke, like, I'm going to carry a little bit of cocaine just so I can pet the dog.
00:58:36
Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Well, I got it. Here's this, I mean, I don't want to crap on the police union, police people, but they do phenomenal work. But when I first got down to St. Louis, the running joke at the airport was always that all the cops that worked at the airport, and this is in the 80s, where they're all the city rejects. I'm like, really? well all of a sudden there's this thing on the news that the airport police are looking for this certain vehicle they got the color and the description of the car they don't have the license plate number but they need this person to check underneath because there's three sticks of dynamite under there that they were using as training for their bomb sniffing dog they didn't write down the license plate number nor did they put it on someone's car they knew they just put it on a person's car that was in the short-term parking lot oh my god and they just took off with it. Yeah, someone called in. They didn't know anything about it.
00:59:25
Oh, jeez. Yeah, they found it a day or so later. Yeah, I bet someone looked under and shit their paint. I don't know how much they got soaked for that one. Imagine you hit a speed bump a little too hard. I don't know if it was wired, you know, however it's set up to do it. Yeah, flicked a little sticky out the window. I was like, my gosh, these guys are bad. But they got a lot better. Yeah, I bet after that they did. Maybe they bought their own damn car. Yeah. Hey, guys, the amount of money we just paid out, let's just get an old Taurus or something. All good? Yeah. Oh, my God, that's hilarious.
00:59:58
I did have a guy give me a car one day at the ticket counter. Gave you a car? Yeah, he was flying out. I kid you not. He just thought of this. Now, he goes, hey, how long can I leave a car out there before they're doing it? I go, what do you mean? He goes, well, I'm moving to California. He goes, well, I'll just leave it. They'll eventually tow it. And he goes, really? I go, yeah. I go, you got plates on? He goes, no, I stripped it of everything. I said, you got the keys? He goes, yeah. So he threw me the keys. He goes, here, have it. I said, okay. What the fuck? It was this little piece of shit like Dotson something.
01:00:28
Yeah. So my roommate and I, we went out there and just fucking beat around in the parking lot until they towed it away. We just drove it around every once in a while out in the parking lot. Oh, my God. I mean, I would never take it out to the street. No.
01:00:41
You went hooky-bombing on it or whatever. No, no, no. Holy shit. Not a lot of people could say somebody gave me a car. I thought you were going to be like, yeah, a Matchbox car. No, no, no. I mean, it was a piece of junk. Yeah, I mean, it started. It ran. Yeah. It didn't have a whole lot of gas in it. We ran it out and just left it there. Lit it on fire in an alley and called it a day. No, we just left it in the short-term lot. We figured eventually they found it. I heard a story once, because isn't it super expensive to leave? Like, if you leave your car. I mean, I guess they just tow it. I thought I read a story once that some guy, to get back at his girlfriend or something, he like rented a car under name and then like left it so it got tickets constantly and it got up to like 20 grand I don't know maybe that's I don't know anyway a little daydream of yours I don't know I have weird fucking dreams so Datsun kind of triggered a memory one of my friends had one and those were popular back in the shit out of it yeah I mean this thing was like I looked it up because I was like I haven't ever heard of them in a long time they look like Nissan bought them and then phased out the name so really yeah the old Datsun. Yeah, I remember.
01:01:48
It was a Japanese car brand and Nissan just little. They were like little hatchbacks. Yeah, like little station wagons. Yeah, a couple different models, but yeah, just like they're just a very basic car. I think they were very, they were pretty cheap because I mean, I remember they were everywhere like way back in the day. And none of them were like, I got this sweet Datsun. Yeah, no one's like, dude, I found a flawless Datsun. Remember the awesome Datsun I had back in the day? Dude, you can get at least $150 for that thing.
01:02:16
You didn't cruise the avenue in it. Dude, that's the thing again. I saw that. It's so fucking weird to me. But I'm not knocking it. People do what you like. There's like motorcycle gangs out there every weekend. It's crazy. Like all the crotch rockets. It's ridiculous. We're going to have to... Sounds like Patreon.
01:02:36
Did we just start a car club? We're going to start riding crotch rockets on First Avenue. I was going to say, you have a moped gang. yeah we'll definitely get her ass kicked that's wonderful take them all to the mikey suntan fuck yeah get some spokes get some lights in the wheels and everything else yeah look i'm getting spray tan they're sponsoring us that's all i'm saying i'm not i'm not doing this shit for free so right i love it i'm gonna be all drippy are you guys ready for a dad joke i think it is. I guess so. Alright. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
01:03:18
I don't know. I'm giving John a chance to. He couldn't see it. Yep. He couldn't see himself doing it. Oh, he couldn't see himself doing it. There you go, yeah. I mean, that counts. I was waiting for you, Mike. I kept thinking of salary. I don't know what was going on my head, but well done. That was good. fight a guest on, he shows you up. It also... I know. He calls me out, and I mean, he thinks he gives me one goddamn balloon, and he'd just be mean to me and steal my thunder all episode. It's fine. Yeah, I didn't even give you a balloon. I'm going to do that. It's true. It's true. You gave me a tri-tip, though.
01:03:52
That's good. That's good. You gave me your meat. That's very sexual-sounding. The old tri-tip. It was juicy. Well, it's been another good one. Thanks for joining us, man. When you emailed in and had that stuff and we got talking about the airlines, it was like, we got to have you on here for this stuff. You definitely did not disappoint. Start writing them down as you have those random thoughts. I remember reading the first email. I'm like, fuck, we got to have John on. He's just seen so much shit. Plus, you're just a great dude. I really appreciate you coming on. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
01:04:32
Thanks for being here. So again, if anyone has any ideas or anything you're wondering if it's still cool, anything you want us to talk about, questions, please email us at we'restillcoolright at gmail.com. That's our name on all the socials. Yeah. Yeah. So again, thanks for joining us, guys. We'll see you again. Next week. Next week. See you, everybody. Right on. Later.