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Ep. 57Mar 18, 202659:52

Conspiracy Theories Part 2!!!

In this episode of "We're Still Cool, Right?," Erik, Mike, and Shaun kick back with Manhattans and dive into more wild conspiracy theories.

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I'm laying down some new sod today, but I have to be careful. I heard the neighbors are a bunch of grass holes.

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Conspiracy Theories Part 2

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In this episode of "We're Still Cool, Right?," Erik, Mike, and Shaun kick back with Manhattans and dive into more wild conspiracy theories. The guys swap Midwest drinking stories, debate if the pyramids were ancient power plants, and joke about Bob Ross being a secret serial killer. They also riff on the Vatican’s secret archives, Freemasons, the Titanic, and even why socks go missing in the laundry. It’s a laid-back hangout full of laughs, nostalgia, and just enough tinfoil-hat talk to keep things interesting.

Transcript

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Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

Welcome to We're Still Cool, Right? The weekly podcast where the conversation flows smoother than top-shelf whiskey. And cool, well, it never really left. Grab a drink and hang out with Erik, Mike, and Shaun while they dive into nostalgia and attempt to answer the age-old question, We're Still Cool, Right?

Not every conspiracy is a theory. Some of them are real. I was going to say, what is it then? They're out to get us. That sounds like a conspiracy to me. I don't know, man. I've been very paranoid lately. Someone's following me. For our longtime listeners, we love you. And you're getting around too. We are sad that we would bring back conspiracy theories. And tonight is the night that we do it. It's back. It's back, baby. I'm excited, baby. We had a lot of people after the first one be like, you guys need to do another one of those. I was like, there's a lot of those podcasts. We don't need to do that all the time.

But there is a lot of them out there we can talk about. But we do have some things to kick it off first. So let's start off with I'm Shaun. I'm Mike. And I'm Erik. And this is the We're Still Cool Right podcast. And again, we're fired up for it. A bonus episode. So also the people who have been around for a while understand. So we call it twofer. Yeah. This will be the second episode. So the drinks have already been flowing from the first episode, and we're on to the second one. And to people like long-time listener Adam and the other people who have asked, no, we're not doing a third. Kiss our ass.

We don't feel like dying today. These tend to go way off the rails, and so we'll see where the night goes here for us. When better to do a conspiracy theory. He can't do that shit silver. What are you talking about here? We should have a stiff drink to go with this. What would be a great drink to go with this? I believe, Erik, this is your area here. Yeah. Drink today brought to us by Benz. Yep. The drink of the week brought to you by Benz Beverage Depot is... 501 7th Avenue, big green building. It's a gorgeous building. Go Irish. This is a classic. It's a Manhattan. It really is. So, I don't know.

I was trying to think of conspiracy theory stuff, and I was failing, but like a Manhattan project maybe? Like, I don't know. Oh, no, that's good. I like that. Maybe there's some theories around the Manhattan project. so we're having a Manhattan. Whether you believe in conspiracy theories or get into that or not, it's been around forever just like the fucking Manhattan. So I honestly think it's a perfect thing you made to go along with it and I am excited to try. I went down a rabbit hole today trying to figure out drinks and like sometimes drink origins are like conspiracies. They're like who made this? When was it created?

Yeah. You know. Harvey Wallbanger. I have no fucking idea. Yeah, the Harvey Wallbanger. Yeah. Some of these go back to like people are trying to find it in like these like paper pamphlet books that had cocktails in them back in the 1900s like early 1900s I mean think about it if there's not a record of it you're going off of whatever you know so but just think about it because it used to be just beer and fucking whiskey or beer tequila whiskey you know which is what I drink there was no like mixing it like making a drink out of it they weren't like where's the herbal bitters to really set this off I'm going to get my cherry juice.

I'll fight someone over cherry juice. We got fancy with this one. Yeah, tell us what you did. So it's two ounces of whiskey, one ounce of sweet vermouth, some dashes of bitters, however you feel, two to three. And then I do cherry juice and garnish with cherries. So I love a little cherry juice and a couple of cherries in there. Everybody got two cherries. One of us got a surprise three because there's a tiny baby one. You know what that means? if you're a long-time listener, you'll hear our fat fingers rustling around the cup later trying to get it because we're like, where's our secret fruit snack at the bottom of the glass?

It's got the big cube on it. I will say, anybody that knows my dad, he used to drink these. I was just going to say, shout out to your dad. My dad, I love it. Love you, man. Miss you. For real, Manhattan, way to go. Gotta love it. Cheers to everybody at home.

Yeah, I can drink that. The cherry juice is for like, I think it's needed, man. It needs a slight cut of sweetness. And the two cherries don't do enough. When I make an old-fashioned, I always add a dash of cherry juice. And that's not typical, but I think it's so much better. A little something on it. Just a little something, yeah. So while we're talking about my dad, shout out to him. And, yeah, again, gone a while ago. I miss you so much. But when we're talking about this, it's hilarious because you drink beer when we'd all be together and whatnot. But then he'd get to a point where he'd like to have his Manhattans.

And so he, anybody in my family knows right now, he'd start rubbing his hands together. You know, like it was time to go, like literally they'd be at our house or we'd be at something. And he'd look at my mom and be like, Moe, you know what I mean? He'd start doing it. It's like, you would know once he started doing that, he's getting ready to leave and he's heading home and he's making a Manhattan before he heads to bed. So you were telling me before the episode though, like Manhattan and same thing goes for old fashions, but not everybody makes them the same way. He made it with Brandy. So my dad loved Brandy.

He, you know, he drank different things, but his favorite was brandy. So when we'd go to like fancy restaurants, he'd order a brandy Manhattan and that's, you know, he'd always request it that way. So at home he'd make it kind of with whatever he had, you know, like just, but his favorite would be, so around Christmas, it felt like it was always the time when he'd stock up on good booze and he'd always have brandy. Well, that'd be the first thing that would go throughout the year and then having whiskey or whatever with it. So he'd do multiple ways. but his favorite was literally ice brandy and just threw a little grenadine cherry juice on it didn't put the cherry in just a little grenadine or just cherry juice yeah you didn't have great you just poured just the way you did just pour right out of there so it was a kind of makeshift maybe not as fancy as this one but you know go to go on your on your regular go-to i've heard wisconsin that's the norm is like if you go there and order an old-fashioned you got to specify if you want bourbon or whiskey yeah it's yeah brandy's kind of the norm of yep manhattan's and old fashions there so yeah so that's what's funny about like just the midwest in general it's like there's certain areas and you're like it ain't the same like iowa people drink a lot we drink a lot wisconsin we don't drink shit compared to wisconsin people like drinks at lunch are normal oh god yeah like i've said that before to ashley i'm like i think i might be in the wrong state There's some crazy stats.

I'm in sales, and I'd be really good in Wisconsin when we start drinking earlier. When we had Schulte on, and he talked about a comedian that's coming to Field Day soon, I think Rose Gold is the name of the special. I can't remember the guy's name. It's on YouTube, though. He has a whole bit about Wisconsin and drinking. And he's like, you know what the minimum, the age of consent to drink in Wisconsin is? There isn't one. He's like, as long as your parents say it's okay. As long as your parents say it's okay. In a bar, your kid can drink with you at eight years old. Like there is no law and I'm like that's fucking crazy. You know what I mean?

Yep. Also like the top 25 count or like top 50 like drunkest counties in America. Yeah, they have like 19 of the top 25 It's insane. So it's like we are we are definitely up there in the top five but like Wisconsin puts everybody to shame. So I have some family in Wisconsin and it is fucking fun to go visit them. They do like it's just everything there's booze everywhere like it's just it's like i imagine like going to italy with wine you know i mean it's just right there's just constantly booze there and it's just not uh it's almost kind of not a big deal they drink all the time you know like again they've been probably drinking their parents at restaurants for a long time i mean yeah it's a lot like you said in any other country it's like the drinking age may be 18 but it's like they don't even care about it because they're just used to having one after dinner or whatever the case may be so yeah i don't want to to go too far off the rails but we should do like a supper club tour of wisconsin sometime oh dude that is so funny i've said like a thing on my bucket list is like just like taking like 10 days yeah going to wisconsin and just hitting like dive bar after dive bar after supper club like it's the same way i want to visit ireland i don't want to go to ireland to like go to the guinness factory no i want to go to small towns that like aren't on the radar and i just want to go into to local pubs and talk to the locals.

And drink beers with them. Oh, fuck yes. We should totally try to figure out how to pull that off. Logan, we're going on the road. Yep. That sounds fantastic. I have a book of all the supper clubs. Really? Yeah. Are you serious? Mm-hmm. All right. Because they're hard to find now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there even one still in Cedar Rapids? Because Lighthouse is gone. Burnt down. Yeah, fuck. And I think that was the last one. It's tough how you define supper club. That's true. But one that's been open a long time. I mean, your standard. Yeah. like the older supper clubs? If you go to Wisconsin, there's a different definition of a supper club.

It feels way different than even Lighthouse. I feel like you got it closest to us is like Dubuque now. Probably. Well, East Dubuque, there's Timmermans. What's that? It's been closed forever. Oh, it is? Oh, shit, I don't know. I just drive by it. I always just thought it was dead. Aaron and I... It's just all the pedos that live out there now. I proposed to her and took her to dinner there. That was our proposal night dinner No shit I guess I'm glad I used to have a good steak That little hotel around there is now like That's where all the pedophiles live because it's not by any We should hit it with a drone strike What too far?

I don't think so Anyway, let's get into it With that note, we are I guess the second episode And we are going to Jump into Conspiracy theories so i feel like we're already diving into some like dicey topics should we like equip ourselves oh well i was just about to say before we kick this off like we said no glove no love have all the sex you want but be protected okay we are going to talk about some conspiracy theories and we don't want the government come to get us so it's time to put on your protective gear amen if you're with us at home. You know the drill. Get your tinfoil out. Get your crinkly tinfoil out.

Don't worry. I got my man. I made one for the finger. Remember last time when we left him hanging there for a second? The government ain't getting us at all. I think we need to name him. Oh, Goldfinger. Never mind. Goldfinger is covered and protected and we are... Do you like my mohawk? I'm actually jealous of how good yours looks. Yours is a super rooster. I love it. I went with the mohawk. It looks like one of those cool bike helmets. I'm doing shampoo mohawk when I shower chug. Me and Shaun barely fit on our head and yours looks perfect. Yours looks like it literally just laid over. That's because I did.

Mike just rolled it up. He's going to be sweating soon anyways and taking it off. He's always trying to take off the protection. Come on. I'm always trying to take my clothes off. Get a little juicy. We got the middle finger protected here too. I will say one thing. Before we get into like are the ones we actually brought to talk about today. I want to touch on when I already talked about which my huge one is the pyramids. I love it. It's like one of my favorite conspiracies. But since we did that, there's been some breaking things on that where they've used LIDAR. I think that's what it's called where you penetrate the ground. I can see and those fucking pyramids go way deeper than they thought interesting way down and there's these like copper like these bars that go way down. So for the people who always had the conspiracy theory of it's a power plant and that's what I think it is or was I think it's basically confirmed now. They can't say that until they dig it up and they never will.

And the guy who it's a whole long story but there's a guy in charge of the pyramids or whatever and he basically is like that's not what they were. They were built by slaves yada yada yada. I'm like I think he's a paid mouthpiece but I think they were a power plant and I think that's like. It was one that we brought up last time. I believe to me it's not. How is it a power plant? So because they've done all this research about like the water erosion and stuff like that. There was these springs that ran through there and then there's these copper bars and it's all about frequency. So like with copper, the way the water ran and the way they built it, it was this thing where it could put off a certain vibration and the reason it comes to a point aligns perfectly to true north and lines up with the planets.

It was just the right thing where it put power out from the top of it. And why are they positioned the way they are? And they're all around the world, by the way. They're finding new ones every day. Is it like aliens or something? I think they were providing power to themselves. I don't think it was like how we have power. like we turn a lamp on or whatever. But I think something was here. A form of energy. A form of energy somehow. Turn into power and use somehow. It wasn't like they powered our DeWalt tools with it, but whether it was spaceships, I don't know. See, if you went down the path of, is it almost like a wellness thing, like the whole copper bracelets, all that stuff, if they did it in that way, where it was trying to help the people around.

I think it was. But I haven't heard it said that way. I don't know. I haven't heard it said that way, but I've heard it said just like more of just like a very intelligent species. And then we got, then it got wiped out and, but those stuck around, but somehow that was powering. Yeah. Whatever was stuff that we don't even know that we're getting to yet. Right. Like kind of heard it before. I do. I also believe in aliens. I think, I think you're crazy. If you think we're the only thing in this fucking solar system that exists, I think something was here way before us. I think it taught us some things and took off.

And I think that was their way of doing certain things and like getting us to the next level. Do you remember what was the Marvel movie? The Eternals kind of like that. Remember how they would come in and like basically help mankind move a step ahead. I think it was something like that. I do. Yeah. Otherwise, what is the point of them? They weren't coffins. Like there's no bodies in there. There's no mummies in there. It's a fucking power plant. All right. Logan looks like he's got some. Have you read? He looks like he's fucking stoned. I can't take you seriously right now. He looks like he's stoned right now.

So he turned his into like a visor. Why don't we have a camera on Logan? This is stupid. I wish, because he literally looks like he just woke up. It looks like he just popped up and was like, oh, hey. Oh, hey, man. This is like my favorite topic. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Shut the fuck up. Hey, hey, hey. Let me cook. Let me cook. Let me cook. Have you read... Oh, God. Oh, no. God, he really is stoned out of his gorge. I don't think his is protective of it. No, he's got too many holes in it. They blanking it I going to cut this part out He rolling the dice right now No you not Have you read Project Hail Mary No Send it to me Is that a book It a book It's getting turned into a movie that comes out in like two weeks.

I've heard about this. I don't know if I know. Project Hail Mary? Project. Oh, Hail Mary. I want to see this. I thought you said Prod-A-Tel-Mary too. Project Hail Mary.

He's on the second episode, dude. I was getting a little fat there. I've been with you, buddy. I am like two-thirds of the way through it, through the audiobook. Okay. And I love it. Is it about that? It's about space and aliens and stuff. Okay, yeah. The movie looks awesome. I'm really excited to see it. Yeah. But I'm glad. I'm going to watch the movie first because the book is always better in 99% of scenarios. So it's like, I'll watch the movie, then I'll go read the book. I specifically had heard that they had spoiled things in the trailer. so I avoided the trailer and wanted to read the book.

So now I'm... Isn't it Ryan Gosling? Ryan Gosling. Yeah, okay. But I'm loving the book. Same guy that wrote The Martian. Oh, shit. I love that. Yeah. But again, saw the movie, didn't read the book. Yeah, Matt Damon. Yeah, yeah. Matt Damon. There's another thing we have to get out that we haven't done. What? This is for fun. This is us joking around. We are not... Experts. Laying claim to being experts on these things. This is what we believe. This is what we believe. We leave and we're sharing. That was a very believable disclaimer you just gave. That was a very credible disclaimer you just gave.

We don't know what the fuck we're talking about. Hey, if I'm supposed to be in charge of this, that's what you're getting. If you thought you were going to get something poetically written, it ain't happening. Man, we don't know shit but we're going to talk out of our asses what we do. Who wants to officially kick off the first one? I want to kick it off. I know you guys had a couple extras, and I'm worried that I don't want you to take mine. Okay? I'd be impressed if... Okay, yeah, go ahead. If I had yours. So mine involves one Mr. Robert Norman Ross. Bob Ross. I know what you're speaking of. The painter?

I know what you're speaking of. I already know what you're going to say, I think. Bob Ross, born October 29, 1942. Hold on. I want to say one thing. This is a Garth Brooks thing, basically. Close. By the way, I'm not saying it's wrong. he died July 4th 1995 rest in peace he had the TV show forever on PBS that was the joy of painting I just saw him on Halloween though I'm with you man he's trying to fix his thing over there you know I'm distracted by you normally it's you guys making awkward sexual eye contact as you say things. Go ahead. What I didn't know, 20 years in the Air Force. Oh, I didn't know that.

Master Sergeant was his title that he got to. Alright. The theory out there is that he is a serial killer. Have you heard this? So I heard something about his paintings revealing something or something. So there's a painting. Happy Little Accident was one of them that he painted. And then so obviously he paints it and then there's a picture of the this other where something horrible happened an actual picture of it um called the devil's tree and underneath the devil's tree was there's five dead bodies found underneath this and his painting looks exactly like really like this angle of this picture taken and it was yeah the devil's tree so that's what kind of sparked this right because his painting that was you know happy little accidents and then this devil tree thing but then if they looked at they found other ones and they started being able to piece some of his paintings together to other scenes where they found dead bodies what the fuck and so what they're thinking or the theory is that he's been painting to get it out to like you know get it off his get it off his chest that this is where you can find the dead bodies here for it bob ross you son of a bitch i believed in you do i believe this not at all bob ross is like i feel like i would trust him with anything without knowing rogers yeah so either he is you know he just totally duped me and and yeah one of those but when i saw it when i was looking for stuff as we were talking about this i'm like i gotta fucking do this okay but

here's the thing how did you find this that's what i'm curious about like how did you get a couple social media searches okay why do you know where a body is this is the shit that worries me about ai because ai can see reddit and reddit is a black hole of fucking crazy literally it is i've read stuff on reddit where it was like people just writing prompts they're like let's make a story and one of them i just googled it bob ross is a serial killer and so like reddit nine years ago came up with this theory really and they did it as a like a like a movie story prop yeah like prompt sure Okay, but that would be a great movie AI would take that and just be like, well, this is true Because it's on Reddit This is the shit that worries me Well, it's the shit that worries me But at this point in humanity We are never going to know Because now, the cat's out of the bag We're fucked It all gets tangled up and spit back out In different ways And we're never going to know if something is actually true or not Okay, so I have something else that we're going to do later But I do think it's true You think Bob Ross?

No, I'm kidding. I totally kidding. It's like every one of his things was happy little trees. Like, you're going to piss me off. Okay. Okay. Hold on. I want to say one thing. Hold on. Lean into it. I want him storming out of here. I'm not fucking doing this podcast anymore. I'm going to rile him up right now. Here's the thing. When that's, okay, look at every killer, whatever, serial killer, next door neighbor killer, whatever. What does everyone say? He was the nicest guy. He was a church going man. I would have never guessed it. Have you watched anything on the BTK killer? That guy was the fucking...

The reason they caught him is because he was the church guy, and he was using their servers. Like, he was sending emails from the church, and they tied it to the church. That's how they found him. So it's like, the nicest guys... Did you watch the thing where, like, his daughter tells her story of it? Yeah, it was great. I mean, like, not great, but crazy. Imagine living with that your whole life not knowing. He was like an okay dad. She was like, he was mad a lot. He was very gruff and whatever. Couldn't figure out why he had all these police jackets and different things in our closet. I kept finding random women's babies. With a bag of rope and tape.

He had, yeah. He had a little go bag murder bag in their fucking entryway. What are we talking about? BTK. I thought you were talking about Bob Ross. I'm like, what the fuck? He was going Bob Ross. I get it. I heard that part of it, but I thought that was just said, but no, I don't think Bob Ross was a killer. I'm just saying they always say it's the nicest guy. So it's like there is not a nicer guy. Again, it'd be like if he came out as a serial killer and then they were like, oh yeah, fucking Mr. Rogers used to drown kittens in his spare time. If you tell me that Mr. Rogers is a fucking serial killer, I'm walking out. I know I might blow my own brains out. Yeah.

Here's what I'm saying. We lost all our childhood heroes. Hulk Hogan ended up being a racist Asshole like I mean it's only a matter of time. I'm probably killed dogs. I'm okay with hulka like it Yeah, he's like ripping and I was just like he wasn't my hero, but he was yeah people's here's what I know Yeah, Bob Ross not a killer not a killer Robert Norman could be It's the same guy Chris Gaines Baby If you make an alter ego You're a killer He didn't change his name His name is Bob Ross Robert Norman Ross Do you remember what Tupac said He just goes by Bob instead of Robert You're so committed to You're offending me Tupac told us I ain't a killer but don't push me don't fuck with Bob Ross or Mr. Rogers, okay?

I have officially fucking triggered Erik and I am so proud of myself. I remember so many days growing up. Erik's also in a cult. He's a mason. Like fucking PBS was on and Bob Ross would come on and I would just sit there and I was just like waiting for dinner and Bob Ross was just painting happy little trees. Little did you know you were watching murder scenes as you were about to eat Salisbury steak. No idea.

You're sitting there, your poor little tummy's hungry, and you're just watching it. Here's my murder scene. Find this picture and find the bodies. I would be so sad if somebody ever proved that. Proved that right, yeah. That would suck. Like I said, when I was searching for fun, I'm like, yep, definitely fucking picking this one. That's a good one. I like that one. It's fun. That one's fun. Exactly. That's not where I thought you were going, because the one that I had heard about, Bob Ross, is that he was like a time traveler or something. Oh, and he was painting scenes of places he'd been or something?

There was this weird shit about that. No, I heard it was grave sites, basically. That makes sense when you said the Gerth Brooks thing. Yeah. Greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist. Alright.

I mean, I'm gonna... I don't believe that one, You can't bring any more up. You want to go next or I'm here to go? Once you make sweet love like that, you don't have to do it again. There you go. That was a good one. I'm trying to think which one to bring up. Because I got a few, but the one that blows my mind, because the way I grew up, right, is the Vatican. So they have a secret archive. Do you know how big their archive is underneath the Vatican? Because when I heard it, I didn't believe it and i i fucking checked numerous things i'm like there's no way that's real it's over 50 miles of shelves of documents 50 miles okay that's what it is okay so i know underneath there too is the the paintings are you talking about that yeah they also have the world's like most extensive art collection ever yes and i know for i well um my uncle ran into a guy and of course he just talking to a guy in a bar at a hotel ran into a guy that was that sold paintings for the vatican really nothing can be sold until there's another one that's going to replace it so yeah that's like part of it and if you know anything about money laundering they say the one thing you get into if you're laundering money is art art because you can't prove the price yeah so it's literally priceless art that is down there.

It's until you find something that would replace this, then they can sell another... Yeah, so the archives of people who have been down there, which is almost no one, but there was a guy in the 1920s, there's been a couple people since then, archives, they have allegedly info on UFOs, dark secrets of world leaders, aliens, Knights of the Templar, and what their downfall was caused from, lost gospels that will totally go against current religion and what it is, which is why they want it kept secret. Advanced technologies and lost civilizations. That's just part of it. The biggest thing to me that blows my mind is you can go down there.

You have to apply, basically, and get approved. But you have to say exactly what you want to see. But they will not tell you what's down there. So think about that. You have to know a certain thing that's down there. But they have millions. millions they said it's a upwards of over 180 terabytes of info which when you're talking about books and scriptures is a fucking insane amount this isn't pictures this isn't movies right but the fact that you need to know what you like you're like i want to see this but you don't know what's down there so you can't ask what i'm curious about is like when i think about these things and i have i have some local comparisons that i'll bring up in a minute i know because you're in a cult um but what i'm curious about is like so i know organizations like this there's a there's a purpose to preserving like our historical information and i i love that purpose i love i do too they want to preserve things but but to me why not make it i'm not saying accessible to the public because in some ways some of these things if you touch it it's going to fucking fall apart sure like you can't let people touch it sure but in a in a sense of could you digitize it could you you know take photographs of it can you can you do something that allows people to access you 1000 can and if they're and if they're not doing it then it's like what are you hiding because it's like why why not share the information with the world if you're trying to preserve it's

about to spill over. Are you up? Now it's a bib. It's only protecting your... It's not protecting you at all. Yeah, you are. The government has infected our producer. We're actually switching studios after this. My whole upper head is protected. What are you talking about? No. We are switching studios. He's compromised now. This producer's compromised. This episode isn't going to sound... You're a double agent. So it's never going to sound like anything like what we talked about. It's going to be all rainbow and sunshine. So I do think that for the most part the Vatican is doing it to preserve information.

The disappointing and kind of frustrating and concerning part is why isn't it more available to people? But dude, so that much info? At least indexed. Like, this is what's available here. It should be available to the public. Even if they don't go through the effort to digitize it, I have XYZ manuscript. Whatever. This is what I have. You can request it. I have the Ark of the Covenant down there. Whatever the case may be, because there's also theories behind that. There's also theories behind just like the things they're hiding as far as not even documents, but bodies, things that have happened.

There's also that also look up the Vatican. It's its own little like city. Like their, their rules don't matter to anyone else. They can get right. They can do whatever the hell they want. Yeah. And kids go missing and like all this stuff happens. Right. But no one can ever know anything. Never can do anything. Here's the thing that blew my mind. Any Pope. so let's say the pope right now any info on him cannot be seen for 75 years until after once he dies 75 years after that you can see the info on him Info is what he Whatever he went through whatever they collected information His information becomes public record.

75 years after that. But think about it the same as our president. At a certain point, things become declassified. It's not just our president, but I'm saying... Right, but I don't think they should even be classified. That's my point, though. We're the American public. Why are you keeping it from us? What are you saving us from? What are you helping? Why are things classified when we're talking about a religion? To me, that's the biggest... What are you protecting? I got the third cherry. Okay. Nice. Thank you. I just wanted to lie. Get your little fat fingers in there. But you were second to finish.

Shaun's already finished. Shaun was so good. I always finish first, baby. Sorry, Ashley. That's not. So congrats. Congrats on your third cherry. so good even if it's a baby cherry i don't care i'll take it um so i mean i agree because it being a religious thing is a very weird aspect but they are they they act as a as a nation you're speaking like someone that's in a cult and you're defending them no i'm not defending it anyway i just think they act as a nation so you have to treat them as a nation i just don't like i don't like secrecy and I don't I all you do is make it worse for yourself if you're hiding things that supposedly there's no reason to hide all you were doing is putting yourself at a disadvantage just be forthcoming with the information unless you have something to hide that's why all this stuff starts it's like what are you hiding from us if you haven't on the hide then just say it do you like the James Brown like Da Vinci Code and have you watched those movies yeah yeah and I do yeah I love it because it dances around all that but it's all fact-based fiction Guys, this is why I'm getting into metal detecting because I'm going to figure out everyone's secrets and if you haven't heard my spiel on that you'll have to subscribe to Patreon.

Why do you keep saying I'm in a cult, by the way? I know what you are. I don't trust you. Does Logan know what you are? I don't think so. He probably wouldn't allow you in here. We did. Have you read Prada de Merit? Prada de Hellmerit?

Oh God. Sometimes my tongue gets a little fat as Shaun says. Okay, so I'm going to pivot off of yours. This is not me introducing a new conspiracy theory. No, that's fine. I'm a Freemason, and there's a lot of conspiracy theories around that. Yeah, I wrote in a bunch of stuff. I can talk about that. Did you know that the Iowa Masonic Library and Museum here in Cedar Rapids? Yeah, used to drink in front of it all the time. Right down the road. Houses dead bodies underneath it. Right down the road, that way? No. That way? I don't know. Either way, it's down the road. did you know that they have over 150 volumes in their vault that they preserve um there's multiple grant wood paintings that are you know they're first edition single editions yeah um there's first editions of like i don't even know how to pronounce this but it's a 1470 edition of a book um there's the first edition of the book of mormon there's pieces of the original white house before it was destroyed the first time there's a lock of george washington's hair are you allowed to see these things yeah so if you again if you request it they don't like just hey everybody come in and they also protect it because it's a museum no you absolutely should protect it defined library and museum for a good reason because yeah there's a lot of things there that if humans

interacted with it it would be destroyed absolutely and i i totally support that but my point is they allow people to come in and see that stuff they will tell you what's in there and be like if you want to come see this you can they're not throwing it out to whatever but they're not holding 180 terabytes of scriptures and things like that and not telling you what's out there the vatican i don't trust you i just think it's i think it's cool that an organization tries to preserve data i love that i wish that they would do it in a different way yeah that's all i'm gonna say with that yeah i i don't think that they have any super secret crazy shit down there the vatican or the vatican oh i could be proven wrong i don't think they do i think that they have a massive archive and they don't really have any interest in yeah you know opening it up to the world um right wrong or indifferent i'm gonna steal the declaration of independence and i'm gonna show you that you're wrong because that's down there too do you ever have those moments where like like something comes back to you and hits you like a way like a memory that you like a fart you walked into yeah all the time you were talking about underneath the vatican and i just had this like incredible flashback of playing assassin's creed oh yeah do you ever play those Oh, yeah. Great game. There's a whole thing where they go, I don't know if it's the second one or something like that, where they go underneath the Vatican and portal to aliens or whatever.

See? They were trying to tell us. I didn't remember that until just now. Do you know why the Freemasons are so tied up in all these conspiracy theories? No, but I bet you're going to give us the club handbook about what it is. I'll give you a poodle. I love to talk about this because like i think it's so like i'll watch youtubes and i'm laughing because some of it's they're they're on the right path but they go crazy and then there's some that are just like spot on and then there's some that are just like way out of left field and it's fucking hilarious so like i i look at this stuff and i know a little bit of the history and also a lot of this is history that it's unknown because it wasn't documented yeah like you'll never know it was a time frame where either the documents were destroyed or people weren't documenting etc etc So the origins of the Freemasons are loosely related to the Knights Templar.

And the Knights Templar was in the Crusades. The Knights Templar were persecuted in France because the Pope and people that owed – so the Knights Templar was the first banking system in the world. Yeah. They were a organization that basically said, we will take your gold over here in France and England and wherever else you are, and we'll take it to the Holy Land where you're migrating to because you want to be closer to God. So people would go to Jerusalem and they would do this and they needed a way to get their money there and not have it stolen along the way. Like the Pony Express. Essentially, they were a banking system.

And so they became very wealthy because they charged you a fee to do that. yeah and they were knights and they would protect people up yeah so anyway they became very wealthy and the pope owed a lot of money to him so essentially he said they were heretics and persecuted the uh commander of the knights templar was burned at the stake on an island in france because of this trial saying basically he was a heretic and a sodomist and all these things and so they all this is why the vatican would hide that by the way they all fleed from france because of the king of france and the pope yeah so they went to england and then they became dispersed and very secret and that's where the freemasons were began yeah is in england i knew it was yeah so i didn't know a lot like some of that very unknown stuff. It's not really clear the origins, but if you really look at the actual teachings and stuff, it's all based on that.

So you just led me into the next thing, though, because you talked about the whole banking system and stuff like that. The Titanic. Did it sink? I think it did. I think it did. Was it because of an iceberg? That's up for debate. Oh, no! Oh, my God. Please don't listen to me. Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm scary. Sorry. I'm back. I lost my hat. Okay. So, uh, no, but the company who built it was owned or had strong ties to strong ties to JP Morgan, right? He canceled his trip on it last minute. No one ever knew why there's no, there's no record of why he did it or whatever, but the key figures that were on that millionaire, John Jacob Astor, Issa and Ida Strauss, who ended up owning Macy's and were millionaires.

Benjamin Guggenheim was another millionaire. The Guggenheim. And all of them were against a central bank. And J.P. Morgan was pushing for us to go to the Federal Reserve. Yeah. That sank the very next year with all of them out of the way because they were the ones fighting it. The fucking central bank happened and the Federal Reserve was enacted. So maybe it's just like really convenient timing. I mean, there was lots of fucking people on the Titanic, though. like it's not like they didn't matter but yeah like because there was poor people there was middle class you know what i mean are you trying to tell me that there hasn't been shit happened in the world that were a bunch of innocent people were killed just because somebody wanted to make some money yeah i'm pretty sure we just not a school in somewhere yeah right so yeah no to be clear i don't know what side you think i'm just saying that there's potential for here no i was like it doesn't seem that far-fetched yeah no but it also like it's it was a it was a very different world back then so to be on that you could see where like it was this iconic thing to be on right oh for sure the titan it was an iconic thing to where like rich people would go on you know an iconic thing to die on well sure Sure, but not before.

Now. Then. I mean, the unsinkable ship. The unsinkable ship. Well, that's right. And all these people are going to die. Yeah. Yeah. I do think, I truly think that even though, I don't know if I would like go as far as to say it wasn't the Titanic or any of these other theories that are out there. but i do think that it was a there were people involved that benefited from people dying on there and insurance yeah so which brings us i really do there's no way that that doesn't get a response it's the same thing as the twin towers like the guy who fucking owned them bought them not long before and then took the insurance policy out never missed a day of work in his life but missed that day and then on top of that like they wanted to insure for x amount and he was like they're worth way more than that so they insured it for more and the payout he got it's I don't know man the bigger thing there's a saying never waste a big event or something like that and I think that's more what it is I think people are in cahoots and things happen but everyone's like well I'm not going to say anything I'm going to benefit from it so it's like I'm just going to sit back and collect my money and whatever but I think George Carlin said it best it's a big club and we ain't in it so god because i i could go all the way down that because i am that's what we do like well i feel like it's you know a little something about banking

right not on that level man i'm just i'm just a run-of-the-mill one now i'm not the one yeah now you're the one in the cult yeah right no shit you want me to give you the political hey we really care like all right like no i'm just saying like when you start thinking at some of these families like these original families of you know like the jp morgans and rockefellers like that stuff and you start hearing this stuff and you know i hear things you know with the school system being set up basically to make you a factory you know i mean like it makes fucking sense right like because that like there's so few people like the the education one right there are so few people that had that kind of power that they would look out for themselves naturally and then build a bigger system off that but then yeah i don't know you look at something like i will just say like any conspiracy theory the only way that it ever gets traction is it has to have some believable aspects sure getting the beginning is thinking about like powerful families controlling the United States.

So that's pretty, that's pretty powerful. Like for most people, they're like, I believe that. Well, I mean, they say the difference between a conspiracy theory and reality is like 20 years. Yeah. Cause a lot, a lot of these, a lot of the conspiracy theories of 20 years ago have come true a lot. There's a huge one right now that is like basically been proven that is really dark and gross. And I don't want to talk about it. Maybe we'll talk about it in the after bonus episode on patron. Cause I do kind of want to talk about it, but I don't like talking about it. It makes me sad and it makes me feel icky and stuff like that.

that but they end up being true man like there's just so many shitty people and like they're in control and it's not hard for them to pull this stuff off and it sucks like it just it's depressing because it's like if those people could use 10 of the resources they have for good what would this world be like it'd be crazy you know but unfortunately that's not the world we live in so it's overwhelming that's why we're wearing these hats they don't steal our fucking brains maybe Jack would have lived. You know? He could have fit on that door. If it weren't for fucking J.P. Morgan, Jack would have lived.

I was wondering what it had to do with Jack and Rose. What's the Titanic song? Was it Celine Dion? My heart will go on. Yeah, okay. I almost sang the fucking Beauty and the Beast. Never mind, I'm all fucked up. We can't actually play it on the episode. No, we can't. We'll get canceled. I can kind of half-heartedly sing it. Oh, yeah. You nailed it. I don't think the algorithm's going to pick this up. God, I hope it does. They're not going to be like, nope, that was Celine Dion. Let's make a note for future episodes. We feed him a few Manhattans.

I love drunk, tired Logan. No, he's not drunk, ladies and gentlemen. He is What movies that you just sounded like I fuck off you never tell fucking Navy man do what you drink Say we got here nice like I so tired I was like I know We get through this Oh that funny Did you have another one Because I have a couple more but I don have it I have one. This one's fun. Go ahead. You know, maybe we should end on that because mine aren't fun. No, no, no. I have several listed, but this one. Oh, gotcha. Yeah. It like spoke to me because I need an explanation and I haven't found one yet.

So. Yeah, you're in a cold. That's crazy. How often do you guys, like you do laundry, your wife does laundry, whatever you're doing, do you have odd socks? Like you just don't have. I have a fucking bowl only because it's like in this. Well, I fold clothes in our guest bedroom because it's on the bed. It's easier to do it. And I normally do that. I have a fucking bowl full of socks. So I'm like, when there's X, I throw it in there. Yeah. And it's full of one sock. But like eight different kinds. Sometimes you find the other one, but not all the time. Yeah. sometimes and it's like and that feels like winning the fucking lottery i'm like oh i just buddy you got your friend back i was thinking like did i send you this here david i think i just sent it to karen like one other person i did a load of laundry and i have a lot of different kinds of socks i have like the black ones for if i'm working out or running because my shoes are black otherwise i wear white ones i had one sock of five different kinds of socks so i lost five socks yeah In theory. That lost his buddy. In one load.

Yeah. And I'm like, this doesn't even make sense. Even if the dryer ate one or whatever or I dropped one. Five? And I still haven't found them. So also, you, I mean being homeowners, you have navigated how you maintain your dryer. The lint trap. You have to make sure that the lint trap is cleaned and all that shit so you don't start a fire. I hate that. At least every once in a while. What's the lint trap? Dude, do you fucking clean out your dryer back? my ass. There's a thing I have. I run a thing through my dryer vent and spit out all the fucking... Yeah, okay. So if you know that, you know that your dryer doesn't eat the fucking sock.

No. So just recently we talked about I mean, it's been a few months now, but when I took my dryer part and changed the belt in theory 19 socks should have fell out. I opened where they get eaten. Maybe that's what chewed up the belt. No. But there wasn't a sock. There was no socks. You should find sock remnants in there. No, the belt ate it. God damn it. Okay, so the theory is that washing machines and dryers cause space-time disruptions that take our socks away. There's a glitch. There's essentially a black hole created in your dryer. I forgot you might actually have a back story. I thought you were just bringing this up.

Yeah, he turned his trap for my ass into a conspiracy theory. That's what I exactly thought. Is losing one sock still cool? No! It never was! It's never cool. That's why you only buy plain white and plain black fucking socks.

He's not wrong, though. That is actually the move, but I don't do that. I just go on Amazon. I wear no-show socks. I'm like, oh, these are on sale. I fucking buy them. But then you end up with 19 different kinds of socks. You know, I wear dress socks majority of the time, right? I always buy fucking pattern socks with different colors. And yeah, fucking again. But you wear matching pattern socks. You don't wear random pattern socks. If I ever can't afford socks, I have a barrel full of no partner. You know, like, these are... You know, mix and match brand bags. You know what I mean? You would use those if you needed to.

Yeah, I mean, I've done it in a pinch before. You know what I mean? But that's not your go-to. My wife is like, why are you so obsessed with your socks matching? And I'm like, why aren't you? Wait a minute. She wears every... I refuse to do socks in my house because mind match. Erin. She wears different fucking random socks all the time. She's Cooper. When I even see someone wearing mismatched socks, it internally makes me frazzle. I feel better about my OCD now. Cooper will do it. He'll wear no-show socks and one fucking knee-high sock. That is significantly That's making me That's making me want to flip the table right now.

That's dramatic. He's not quite that level. But he'll have definitely two socks for him. I'm like, but what are we doing? He's like, whatever. And he literally goes, I don't care. I was kind of a fad with kids for a while. I fucking care. To wear two different colored socks or whatever. It's like they did do that for a little bit, but I'm like, I don't like that. But there's this part of me when I look at him, I go, someday you're going to care. I care right now, but I kind of like that you just don't care. Yeah, be a kid. Let it be. Have fun. But now I'm like, you're 13? You're close. I just really hope nobody's making fun of you.

Right, exactly. You're like, I want the best for you. But all of a sudden, I know it's going to flip in a dime, and all of a sudden, he's not, you know. But also, like, Shaun, raise your fucking child. Yeah. To care about something. Fix this for us. We can't do knee-high and no-show. I'm drawing the line in the sand right here. No. It's not allowed. I will bully you myself. I will wear different colors, but they need to be the same physical build. They need to all be low cut. But you'd also only do that wearing shoes. Correct. You would not do that wearing slides. Well, I would never wear slides.

Okay. Even better. You wouldn't wear it when someone could see them. Slides and socks is bullshit. But are you a no slide at all? Function. For function. If I'm like going to the pool, When we were making fun of him, you're like quietly over here going, I got your back. Listen, it's not my show.

You're on it. I try really hard to stay out of the way. You're just watching this beat the shit out of him, and you're sitting there going, I mean, you could jump in and be a part of it, but no, you're like more of that now. In case anyone's curious if Logan would jump on a grenade for you, he will not. He is not Captain America. He's going to save himself, baby. No, he is behind the iron wall. If he's going to pick a grenade, do you want him to be the slide grenade? Jesus Christ.

Don't defend him. You know what, guys? It's time we find this studio. I want someone who has my back. You know what I'm saying? If he's going to pick a grenade to jump on, it's not that one. It ain't that one. I am just right now completely aware that this is the second episode. I was just hitting you. I was hitting you. Well, just right now, I'm like, yep, there we are. Yeah. My family, for the entirety of my life, has owned an appliance shop. Okay. So we would go with my dad into these houses, and we'd repair washers and dryers. And two things. Do you steal their socks? What'd you say? I said nice because I want to know where you're going with it.

I'm thinking huge pile of socks. One, I can't tell you the amount of socks that we would find when we would open up washers and dryers. It's a ton. A lot. They do get eaten. It's a real thing. Really? Oh, absolutely. Certain models. Because like mine, when I open it, none. But I have seen videos on YouTube where someone was tracking it, and he opened his up, and there was like eight pairs of socks. Okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And then the second thing is I can confirm officially that certain brands of washers and dryers, if you put them together, if you run them at the same time, it does create a space-time continuum disruption.

You almost had me. That will. Eat your socks. Let's say hypothetically. The vast majority of what I just said is true. Hypothetically, I have the washer running, dryer running, and perfect spacing. I stand on top. It's about eight inches. Am I going for the ride of my life? Is this the thing you can't talk about? I'm feeling very erotic all of a sudden. Am I going through the time continuum? Is that really how we do this? Have you heard of Narnia? I thought that was a closet. No, I don't know. Oh, washer dryer combination. Oh, never mind. The closet thing you come out of. I'm getting there. I just had an amazing thought.

What? I just need to put my washer and dryer opposite. Yes. Put the washer on the right. It'll spit out socks. And then I'll get new socks. You'll get new socks. That's right. You'll start taking them. I don't know whose socks they are, but at least I'm getting some. Wait, hold on. Is this like a universal thing? Is the dryer always on the left? No. Dryer's always on the right. Dryer's always on the right. Then I'm the weird one. Okay. my dryer's on the left. And you're losing socks? Yep. You're giving them to somebody else. Hold on though. They're not in the fucking dryer. I'm losing them. I don't know where they're going. That is actually a thing, an appliance shop thing. So we would put the washer on the left, dryer on the right, and the doors open away from each other so you can transfer them from left to right.

It's kind of how you would do it. It's always order of operations. It's like you read left to right. Left to right. Yeah. Okay. So I think you're just broken. Yeah. You're sending socks to somebody else. You're giving your socks to somebody that has theirs in the right way. I just hope they're going to a good family. You know what I mean? That's all I care about. Like an adopt-a-sock type thing? Yeah, like I'm defeating the homeless is what I call it. Guys, it's cold out there. It's raining on the docket. You should buy really inappropriate socks and see. Fuck your mother. And she's like, look, that's mine.

See that hobo with one sock on? He got it. Oh, wait, you could totally do that, though. Like, hey, have you lost one of your socks? Donate the other one. To a hobo. To the homeless. You know, okay. I kind of like that. Oh my god. Let's make we're still cool right socks and we'll just see him walking around downtown But we only sell them as one Yeah, only the left I love I love your business plan of let's take these socks and only homeless people are gonna wear And let's so one sock We're gonna fucking crush it. No, fuck you guys. I don't homeless people are gonna be like fuck you I don't want one side. I'm out here trying to make ideas. Okay, you guys are just sitting there drinking like a bunch of fucking fools It's not as good as your take on slides.

Your one sock business is going to be used for one thing, and it's not for feet. What's it going to be used for, Erik? Ew, never mind. Baby's going to be stiff as can be three weeks later. Hey, guys. I apologize at the bathroom. The last, I don't know, hour. I think it's going to stand straight up. Look, dude. Dude, I... I laid sod one summer. That's what they used to call instead of laying pipe was I laid aside That's when you're banging homeless people anyway Like you wouldn't believe I Would get home and I would take my boots off and then my sock it would just stay in the mold and I Thought of all the jokes for your kids where they're like don't don't do that your socks Their shape and I was like, oh, it's Stop fucking your socks, Joe!

Stop fucking your socks! Joe! Stop stinging in the socks! My stomach hurts so much! Dude, I have more, but I don't even know how to go back to that. No, I think we gotta go to the bonus episode. I do have a good one for the bonus episode. Do you have a dad joke for Conspiracy Theory Podcast? Maybe something about... I don't know if it'll beat like sod. Sod socks? What did you even say? You were laying sod? You know that's a term. I mean. Yeah, they're normally not followed by stiff socks. They're going laying sod. When I laid sod, I had stiff socks at the end of the day.

I've never. Legit, I did. A lot of dirt gets in your shoes. I got you. or actually Gemini's got you okay I'm cramping I'm not even joking I'm cramping myself get this man a banana monkeys never cramp it's not as funny as yours but I'm laying down some new sod today but I have to be careful I heard the neighbors are a bunch of grass holes Jesus I mean I said that was going to be a sock joke I mean, we gotta stick with the dad joke, right? Crunchy, crunchy, yeah. But legit, look it up. Well, maybe don't look it up. But that's what you call it, is laying sod.

I don't know what else would you call it. Planting sod? Like, I don't know. I've done that too, though. All I could think when you said laying sod was laying pipe. That's exactly what I said! That's a new term for laying pipe. It's very floppy and dirty. God, that's where I went. Oh, man. Based on your search query, it appears you were asking about two unrelated topics.

Well, hold on. After you search for porn star what's-his-name earlier, I wouldn't trust your search. Simon Clark. Simon Clark. So, Logan, just so you know, you should subscribe to our new service, which is Clear Your Browser History When You Die. Dot com. Yeah. Do I get a free sock? Yeah. Not one you'll want.

You also can have this service. You got your own sock. We know. Come on. Service comes free with our Patreon, so please sign up for that. We're about to flip over to there and keep talking for, I don't know, another 10 to 30. Well, let's be honest, 20 to 30 minutes about. I don't know what. I'm kind of scared right now because I have something to talk about, but it's not going to follow this very well. I'm looking forward to it. Great. But again, you guys have asked for a second episode again because we haven't done one in a while. Well, you got what you asked for. You got it. But with that being said, hey, we love you.

We're out. Shout out to Benz. Shout out to Benz and and Logan at Upload Media Group for you know Oh, yeah amazing that's what I meant Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Can't wait to lay some sod with you I've been laughed so hard that I've cried a while and I fucking just did I love it. Yes. Thanks guys. Cheers.

Thank you.