We're Still Cool, Right?
Ep. 401:43:14

We got to party with Da'Baby!

In this episode we have the ladies from Deck Dairies on the show and I think we have made some great new friends! This show gets a little crazy and definitely NSFW content past the hour mark.

Have you heard of the bisexual whale? Moby Dick.

Not a dad jokeErikEp. 40 @ 01:40:23

Show notes

In this episode we have the ladies from Deck Dairies on the show and I think we have made some great new friends! This show gets a little crazy and definitely NSFW content past the hour mark. Come jump into some real talk with the ladies from the deck!

Transcript

Tap a timestamp to listen from there

Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

00:00:00
Oh, it's a lady.
00:00:22
If you haven't seen Ladies, man, you fucking missed out. I'm ready to buy someone a fish sandwich right fucking now. I remember when I saw that movie and I was like, what the, I don't even know what it was. And I watched it. I'm like, this is a fucking gem. Like, Jesus. And now it's like, yeah, it's just a cult classic. Right. Yeah. So what's up, buddy? We're back again here, man. Yeah, we are. So welcome to everybody. If you're joining us for the first time, welcome. Grab a drink and join us. If you're a regular listener, thanks for coming back. This is the We're Still Cool Right podcast. And I'm Shaun.
00:00:56
And I'm Mike. And I'm Erik. Yes, sir. What do we got today, Mike? Uh, we got some pretty cool stuff. We're venturing in a new territory, and it's not just a lady, it's THE ladies. So we are blessed as fuck to have some guests on. Two people we love their podcasts, we talk about all the time. Our girlfriends love it, someone's wife is absolutely obsessed with it. We'll get into that. But yeah, welcome Tabitha and Meg from the Deck Diaries. Yeah. Hello boys Are you gonna take a bite out of my butt?
00:01:32
Can we just quote that for the next hour? Do you remember the part with Will Ferrell? He's the Greco-Roman wrestler And he's like, I will smother you And then he's like, he's acting all tough And he's like, but it does have a lavender scent in it It is delightful There's just the most random shit in that It's so good I worked with a guy at the hotel that could do that voice perfect Every time they'd walk back, ooh it's a lake Every time Yeah, yeah, the fish sandwich just so like you know if I was single again that would be on my tinder profile Can I buy you a fifth sandwich and you have to write it with the lisp like you're Mike Tyson, you know what I mean so Kelly Kapowski's in it too. Yeah, that's a will ferro's life for us Yeah, but thank you guys so much for being on like I said we have a lot we want to talk to you about You guys been doing it for quite a while. It'll be three years this February does it feel like it's been three years?
00:02:25
because I feel like it goes so fast. Yeah, it does go. It does go fast. Yeah. I feel like we've been doing it forever, but I also feel like we've known each other forever. So sometimes you forget what's been on. I don't know about you guys, but we say things all the time. We're like, do we talk about that on here? Did we talk about that? Like the hardest thing. Were we texting about that? Or did we talk about that outside? Or do we talk about that on here? We forget like what we talk about on the real deck at my house versus the show yeah because we do like girls coffee on Sundays like once oh I love that yeah the real deck hell yeah um and sometimes we're like talk about that okay I have to call myself out which I'm gonna do a lot but when we were talking about it I was like I'm gonna ask them what like how they came up with the name deck diaries and Erik goes yeah it's probably because like it's just two people like sitting on the deck I was like, oh, I was thinking it was like, hey, you're next on deck.
00:03:21
Like, you're up next. And then I listened to a podcast. Like, I've already been listening to you guys, but I listened to them where you actually, like, reference it. And I'm like, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a fucking, like, it's not a baseball podcast, you idiot.
00:03:34
The very first episode, I explain it. And then there's a couple other times throughout episodes that I'll kind of explain it for new listeners. But, yeah, it actually started on the real deck. That's amazing. Us girls would do Weed and Wine Wednesdays. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Yes. And, uh... Okay, wait, so you got Wednesday covered, Sunday covered. I would like to know the rest of the day so I can clear my schedule. Wednesdays and Sundays. Yeah, right? Mondays is football and bourbon. And now, Wednesdays, we record on Wednesdays, so we don't really do Wednesdays anymore. So now we do Sundays.
00:04:06
Gotcha. But that's how it started, is we didn't mind Wednesdays on the deck. And, um, yeah, just we were all going through shit, and sometimes we don't talk about our shit. So Wednesday was a place that we could all gather and like no judgment zone. Talk about your shit. Put all your filth out on the table and just get it out. And then friends just kind of started saying like, you should do a podcast. Like you could be a fucking talk show tab.
00:04:38
You do a great job on a lot of different topics too. Like it's not, you know what I mean? It's all over the place. It's not like bummer city, but it's not like just two girls cackling all the time. Maybe sometimes, but it's stuff that needs to be talked about. You know what I mean? Let's be honest. Anything you need to get off your chest is something that should be talked about. But it is hard. I would imagine. I'm a little different. I'm pretty much an open book, and I don't mind talking about stuff. But I do get emotional and shit like that. But it's hard to air it all out there for the world.
00:05:08
So, like, how have you guys been okay with that? Because most people would not be okay with admitting some of the things, you know? Mm-hmm. I just don't give a shit. You just don't give a fuck. I really, I, because this is what I learned from the real deck is why, why I decided to turn it into a podcast is because what I noticed around me is the more and more that we were all honest and truthful about all the, the, the filth in our life. Um, whether it be, you know, drama with your family or an ex wife or a current wife or your, your fucking kids when they're assholes, like everybody wants to, everybody wants to paint this perfect picture right and social media is the demise of that so the picture looks great but they staged it what's the frame really like yeah but what i noticed around me is that everybody started really healing from it and like being happier and really having a like fuck shame like that was kind of my tagline is like fuck shame like don't shame me for putting my dirt on the table because i know you got dirt right um and everybody around me just started to heal and be happier and you're like look i have a superpower i mean really literally yeah because i mean i've been in therapy a lot in my life but i feel and this i'm not shaming therapy i think people should be in it and do it but i this is my therapy now like even if we're a we're a comedy we laugh and we don't really get that serious most of the time but i feel better every time yeah you know what i mean like whatever went on that day that's therapy yeah exactly that
00:06:40
is therapy well it's kind of how this started i mean really mike was going through something pretty rough and him and i were sitting in a bar and we'd met i mean we hang out all the time before but then for there we just happened to hang out every week and we're like dude why don't we just start talking like right you know yeah we get together he was kind of checking in on me because it was a rough time yeah and it's like going through divorce yeah he he goes we do this anyway right yeah but i go no one wants to listen probably goes even if they don't we might as well just record it we got an excuse well let's see what happens you know what i mean especially from guys yeah like i've learned that yeah we've had some remarkable men uh come on our podcast i'll give a shout out to kill because because of where we're at yeah um and every single time somebody comes on the podcast male or female they they walk away and say that they're like this is the best therapy i've ever had like kale was like i've you know like been to therapy but like this was fucking amazing like he felt so great walking out of the building that night and that then our job is done yeah yeah and we did what we were supposed to do right um i am pro therapy too yeah but there's a but with therapy so when you and we have actual therapist friends licensed therapist friends but here's the deal with therapy is therapists cannot be vulnerable with you so a therapist cannot talk about their shit with you um they can only they're only basing it off what you're giving them which a lot of people don't do therapy right because they're going in there with armor on and they're not really telling the therapist everything well and i did it it took
00:08:13
me a long time before i was really honest because i'm like you don't you don't get to know right you know i mean like most people and i knew that i was still supposed to but you you still put it's It's hard to share with somebody you don't know that well. You don't feel vulnerable. And I want to show you the good picture. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I want to leave. And now you'd be like, this guy doesn't even need to be here. He's not that funny. He's great. He's not that funny. You're healed. Oh, are you having a bad Monday, pussy? I kind of, I've always equated it to, it's like someone who has had an addiction, alcohol, drugs, gambling, whatever it may be, going to an addiction counselor that's never had an addiction.
00:08:52
Right. How the fuck do you know? Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, how can you school me? I mean, you can give me all the X, Y, Zs and the shit out of the book, but you don't really know, like inside feel it. Because even if they, like every therapist I've had has a therapist, they've told me like I'm in therapy, but it's not for the things I'm in there for. Right. So even though you're, it's not, it's not, not all therapy is the same therapy. Right. Yeah. Right. I agree. Well, there's something about a friend when you say what you're going through and they're like, me too. And you're like, so I'm not like, I'm not weird.
00:09:20
That's the vulnerability part that you're not going to get from traditional therapy. And that's what we learned on the deck. Everybody was like, all of a sudden, they'd be like, guess what I'm going through. And then they felt really fucking great about it that they could talk about it because you just can't be as vulnerable with a quote unquote actual therapist. That's awesome. The one thing I would say, like, and this is just, I'm not going to divulge too much of my wife's stuff, but she gets validation from it. So like, you know, today she said, her therapist said, oh yeah, my husband said the same thing, but I shrugged it off. You know, like she gets some validation from someone else that's an outside perspective doing that. So I do think there is a lot of power in still having it, but you also need your friends to, you know, feel with you.
00:10:08
so right well therapy's really expensive too yep so we and that was a lot of of the people like the deck all of a sudden became like a ever-changing megan calls it like a rotisserie chicken is what what started out as a dog roller yeah what started out is just like a couple core friends quickly turned into well can my sister come over or can my brother come over or there's this chick that I work with that's going through this? Can she come over? And all of a sudden it just became people that I didn't even know. They were coming over for therapy hour and I'm like, well, fuck it. Let's just do a podcast and help as many people as we can.
00:10:47
Which a bottle of whiskey is a lot cheaper. So maybe that'll lead us to the thing that we just skipped over here for. Shaun's like, I'm busy. And Erik's like, yeah, me too. I'm like, but I have Weller. And they're like, I can clear up some time. That's fine. With that being said, Mike, what are we drinking today? What are we drinking, Erik? We got a little Weller special reserve. Oh, see. All right, moving on. No, I will call myself out. You know, they say guys aren't very good at attention to detail. It might be true. Yeah, so I'm going to read it because I'm definitely... You're going to try to defend this thing.
00:11:23
No, no I'm not. No, I'm not. He's still a guy. He's waiting for the Facebook comments like, you were right. Yeah, you were right, man. I would have made that a thing too. If a few guys or girls email in and say I was right, It won't hurt my feelings, but okay. No, but I was totally wrong in this. So we were talking, Tabitha and I were talking, and we always do a cocktail, like a signature cocktail of the week. And I'm trying to find it. But either way, she said, I said, oh, here it is. We always do a drink of the week. Do you both drink? And if you do, are you okay with a cocktail that night? And if you don't or don't wish to, that's totally okay also.
00:11:57
Her response was, yeah, we'll have a cocktail. And I took that as, yeah, we'll have a cocktail, And we'll bring it to you But I was wrong I happily admit it, but I don't know why my mind went to like yeah Well the cocktail in tow right fucking dragging it right here for you guys And then when she walked it said I hear this an amazing cocktail. I thought she was fucking with me like And there was no Oh fuck yeah, right first ladies we have on and I already fucked up The next time we get together we'll make a fancy cocktail for you I'm our listeners. I promise because I will put Erik in charge of it. It will be amazing Yes, so our listeners this week just know it was really easy. Yeah, it's bourbon on the rocks In a wine glass because yeah, because we didn't bring cocktail glasses because I thought you were bringing But we drink and we do enough boozing in here that we just happen to have a bottle while we're sitting here that we can pour over here I know it's the worst isn't it?
00:13:00
So as it was alluded to earlier my wife is just massive fan of you guys and listens all the time Like I'm pretty sure like she was probably waiting for Shaun to be like do you want to come and watch? She could have She's at a wrestling, Sophie's wrestling tonight so she's doing that but To the point to where I've been she's like I'm listening to my podcast I'm like oh like ours it just dropped today And she's like, oh, the deck dart. And I'm like, oh, well, whenever you're ready, if you just listen to ours, it'd be great. But on top of that, she's a whiskey girl, too. So knowing that the request would be whiskey, just a little ice cube is perfect.
00:13:40
Yeah, exactly. They're even cooler in person, Ashley. Do you know how she found us or heard about us? I think when we were first kind of getting started, I she said something once about she was looking at local podcasts she was looking at it and she and she was big like she's like I wish I could just find local I wish there was a place that just have a list of them where I could do that and actually I ran into Schulte and was talking he's like hey we should check them out you know I mean and so then I started listening then she you know like yeah then she picked it up and yeah it was like a she went all the way back to the beginning here and so she filled me on a lot of the original stuff I've been listening to of course I scroll through and like embarrassing sex stories. That's when I stopped at I'm like Yeah, number one Evolution of the bush So Where did the bush go?
00:14:30
We actually have 18% Yeah, I've heard 18% male listeners That's awesome Well, I bet Yeah, it doesn't shock me at all But again, you guys do everything from the serious ones to embarrassing sex Yeah, you know what I mean? Even if you don't want serious stuff, you guys do ones that are fucking hilarious and fun too. Did you listen to the embarrassing sex one? Uh, yeah, I did. I just, uh... Fucking brutal. Yeah, those are some good ones there. I will say my favorite one so far is, well, just because of the shock value was the porn shop, the girl who works at the porn shop. Oh, yeah. Because, dude, I've had questions.
00:15:04
I'm like, I know there's those little booths back there, and I'm like, those stories can't be real, right? And everyone's like, oh, it's real. I'm like, ugh, gross. The rubber band man. Oh my god. That part fucking set me on the edge. So if you ever needed a reason, go check it out. There you go. Rubberman. He had the secret closet in the room with all his stuff. And it's still open. It's just like, it's crazy. We should go do a live podcast there, guys. Wait, I hear if you go on Thanksgiving, there's like a buffet or something, right? Or New Year's Eve, I think it is. No, Thanksgiving. Oh, it's Thanksgiving.
00:15:39
Thanksgiving buffet. We're about to be eating good in the neighborhood. Whatever there was a movie Nicolas Cage is like 40 millimeter or whatever 8 millimeter great movie Then it was like all that underground And I remember just being fucking creeped out Just like People actually dying and getting wet You know like getting that Clearly before porn up was a thing When she told us even more stories Off air I had breakfast with her So I always vet The guests Sure, yeah, so I had had breakfast with her. Oh, so you weren't like friends with her like how did you can I ask? How do you friend oh, okay? Okay, because that's not something just a Walmart. She's like hey used to work in a sex shop You're right. Yeah, I'm gonna podcast. Yeah, I tried to get what waitress that is also an FBI agent or something I almost had her too. She said she yeah, she's in Davenport. I was in cool. It was random I was telling her she overheard something she goes you're on a podcast ago. Yeah, it's and again I did my thing. I'm like it's just this little thing and And she goes, oh, I've always wanted to do one.
00:16:39
I'm like, you work in the service industry. I would listen to almost anyone that does that. Because the things you see and the things you hear, right? And she goes, yeah, this is my part-time job. I actually work for the government. I go, then you should fucking definitely do one. Like both of those together. You've got endless topics here probably. I think people don't realize that some of the things they do are so interesting to other people. Right. We feel like we're just bullshitting and not doing that. And I don't mean this to sound mean, but some people don't have buddies to do this with.
00:17:06
And that's, that sucks. You know what I mean? So if it's a little escape, you guys did one recently with a Brian Marshall. Yeah. I know his wife, I won't get into it, but I used to work with her. He's awesome. And he said something, which I've always said about ours, where it's like the biggest thing you can give someone is your time. Cause it's like, you, you only have so much of it. You're not getting more. It's going away constantly. Right. So for people to listen to that, it's so massive. And I don't think people think about that enough. You know what I mean? so yeah agree so yeah marshall's uh brian's a good friend of ours he is yeah that was a really good one that was fun to listen to we've been on rock 108 twice twice yeah technically three but three times we recorded some stuff for their weekend show yeah okay so they want us to we might do a constant that'd be awesome recurring gig oh yeah yeah so they love us over there so you kind of started this right i started it meg you were like a guest for the first one and then just like yeah she reached out to me so she is partners with my brother and um we kind of formed a friendship through that and then she reached out and was like i'm thinking about starting a podcast and i was like hell yeah right go for it do it and she was like i kind of want you to be a co-host or she didn't say a co-host first guest she was a she was a regular on the real deck right yeah the whole motivate yeah yeah yeah so uh yeah i went on the first time and then she chloroformed
00:18:41
you and couldn't wait i showed up for the second i showed up for the second yeah yeah i she just kept saying okay this week we're recording blah blah blah and i was like okay and i just kept showing up and then one day she called me her co-host and I was like say what so yeah where was the proposal yeah nothing can be normal that's got all gonna be top level here yeah it just it just works again I initially just wanted to do me my first guess because my my original plan was just to have a different guest every episode which we do that anyway um but having someone to to bounce stuff just felt really natural yeah and we were we had similar stories we were kind of going through a lot of the same things um we were definitely leaning on each other and helping each other still do yeah um yeah it just worked it just worked but i was i still am shocked like when when she asked me to be the first guest i i didn't think anything of it but then just how it evolved like well i can't even say that i i kind of thought you just kept thinking you were a guest besties yeah like she has a lot of really close friends and they're all amazing interesting women yeah very diverse group of friends and so i was like oh okay but when it
00:20:14
works it works you know right it just yeah it was super natural i don't think people realize that even like there's friends of mine that i love to death and they're like my best buddy but i don't know if we could do this and that's not a knock to them no it's just some people are good at riffing off other people and some aren't and that's totally fine yeah we we didn't know if this was gonna work first of all well you have been friends for a long time but we weren't like best friends no like it's not like you know i mean like it was definitely yeah we've known each different circles we still hung out all the time a lot but not like not like now yeah i definitely have more closer friends you know and same thing then but when we pitched it you said you're like no matter the space the time like even whether we see each other in a month or in weeks you know and it usually wasn't that rare but we could just do this yeah and that was his pitch and i was like oh fuck i hate saying you're right but you're right like yeah we could do this you know what i mean i'm an old guy with all this knowledge yeah and then like we talked to eric the same way and then eric is able to do what he does thank god because we're fucking idiots so we won't be able to pull it off so yeah i just love that you were on the first episode and she's like that felt good get back here yeah and it did it just it felt right i was like this is this is what is supposed to be yeah and it definitely has i think deepened our friendship and yeah because this podcast is really good this doesn't mean blowing smoke and like you know just because you guys are in front of me and I'm like scared you're gonna beat the shit out of me but it's like oh she's already mad about the drinks you're riled up but it's just one of those things where I've told you guys
00:21:44
about yours ours is for fun 99% of the time and that's but we knew that right away that's what we wanted yours is important there's not enough of that you know what I mean so and like you said earlier with Ashley there's not like a list where it's like here's the Iowa podcast you can listen to you know what I mean I'm sure there may be some now you could find if you search hard enough, but it's not that easily accessible. So that's why it's so good. People talk about this stuff because it gets out there. So I think, I think upload media is really trying to push that, um, especially just for Iowa podcasts. Um, hence why they started the Iowa podcast awards. Okay. Yeah. Cause you guys won an award on that. Didn't you? Fuck yeah. We won best interview podcast last year. Fuck yeah. That's awesome. So was that the first year they did it? Okay. Yeah. So you, no one can ever take the first one away from you.
00:22:31
No. That's your... Right. They... The previous year, they, at the Iowa Music Awards, they had a podcast category. Oh, really? So, best podcast. Okay. And we were nominated for that. That's awesome. The Morning Scramble from Z102.91. That's a podcast. Yeah. Oh, I didn't even realize that. They, like, transfer... Oh, I had no idea. Okay. We know we won it. Right. Yeah. Cheaters. I'll say it. But then, you know, it's just like with music, you know, there's so many different genres, just like with podcasts. Yeah. There's so many different genres. So then the next year they did the podcast. I love that.
00:23:10
Because, yeah, one category is not enough. Exactly. You know what I mean? What you guys do isn't what we do isn't what Confused Breakfast does. Right. You know what I mean? Right. So like. And they talked about that. I can't remember if it was Mike that talked about it or Logan, but how you can't just Google Iowa podcast. Yes. Oh, we were talking to Mike about it. Yeah. Yeah. maybe okay if you like I saved some from the podcast awards so like if you look up the Iowa podcast awards now you can see like all the nominees and there is one like for service industry yeah I can't remember what it's called the bar one I can't remember it's got it was it the one we know no oh okay okay that one's not going there was a comedy you know there was comedy There was all these different there was even like a fantasy Really? Oh, I thought you're talking about like clittature Sorry, my girlfriend is really and I love it so You walk in and they're reading a book you're like But yeah, I totally thought that's what you meant like fantasy i've heard of that yeah so yeah it was it was nice that there was a lot of categories so that everybody could have appreciated for their version of their art yeah ultimately that's what it is it's art absolutely yeah so i can't even think about what category we would be in comedy
00:24:41
yeah comedy our problem is man like and yeah i know you guys have listened a little bit but like we just can't stay on topic and and i yeah it made me really self-conscious where i'm like no stop Like I'd stop myself from like a really good thought because I was like I have to stay on this But then the amount of emails we got saying like don't because we love like that's how our brain goes like when you guys said this I went to right field with you and I'm oh Okay, yeah, just go with it. Yeah, yeah multiple people like yeah I just track right along with yeah, yeah, although every now and then they're like, you know FYI you never got back to this and we want to find it on your like, you know We opened up with one we're gonna talk about movies. We didn't talk about a single movie No, we ended up being comedian We ended up comedian and we went through the whole thing Yeah, we love stand up So it was movies, we're obsessed with stand up and then went to stand up and we buy fucking never again Do you try to pick a topic each week or you just rip off each other the whole time?
00:25:35
Well we mostly riff but the big thing of why we started it and why we named it this is like, you know, we have kids, you guys have kids? Both of you Okay so and everyone has different ages of kids And so there always the point where you like you their best friend and like your god to them They like I want to be just like him and then they like get my room and like you know It's like hey when the hell did I stop being cool? You know what I mean? It's another reason was I saw a minivan Still I'll never forget it 20 years ago No 10 years ago driving and it had one sticker on it and it was really little and it just said I used to be cool And I remember driving and like I deflated and I was like fuck Me too And by the way, even if I wasn't, I thought I was But now I know I'm not And it's different, you know, so yeah, that's kind of how it started We're also, we talked about we're at that age where sometime we walk into a room And we're like the oldest and sometimes we're the youngest You know what I mean?
00:26:30
Like we can walk to a meeting at work and it's like, oh god, they're all looking at me as a young guy Like he'll know how to do the IT And you're like, what do you, you know Other times they're like doing something like where are you guys doing like I don't even know what the fuck that word Me like what are you saying? Yeah, you know, and so and it can happen Multiple times in a day. Yeah where we can go to a bar and we're the young ones there and it flips in a hurry And also you look around you're like, uh, we're too old to be here You know like yeah, we got to get out of here right now. I was visiting some friends recently in a smaller town and and you know small town bar and watching the iowa game there's nine of us in here the median age is probably 55 so it's like okay i was one of the younger ones right and then i heard the words there's two party buses coming and i went mother and by the way i love a party oh we're doing one in like a month so yeah yeah and so we'll talk to you guys uh but they they were like no it's it's you know 21 year olds and i'm like and they came in and i just i mean it was like check like i i I got a guy here.
00:27:32
Really? Really? Because. God, you fucking are old. Look at you. Listen to that. Get off my lawn. Look. Get off my lawn. Here's the thing. They came in and they're so disrespectful. They're like throwing shit everywhere. They're making messes. That's why. Making messes. Making messes. They weren't cleaning up after themselves. They were drinking beer and saying the F word. Come on. Right. Yeah. But are you guys at the point where I always feel like I'm the same age as everybody else? like up to I would say 10 to 15 years older or 10 to 15 years lower yeah agreed it feels like we're all in the same pot until shit like that happened nailed it and they were all 20 I'm pretty sure half of them had fake IDs I mean dude these were babies you know what I mean some balls had clearly not dropped and you're like it's always when I drop a movie reference or a tv show reference and then they just look at me and I'm like you're fucking kidding me you Yeah, you don't know friends like ever and then I'm like no because they're they're not there young That wasn't right here like that's not like a or like you had a crush on as a kid Yeah, like yeah, you say Brad Pitt nowadays. Yeah Those are like the fucker no no Okay, yeah, like I wouldn't kick him out of bed Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, you're dropping. He's still fine. Yeah, exactly. I heard one of you was mistaken for Brianna banks Is that what I oh, yeah?
00:28:56
the porn star yeah prove it no i'm kidding i have a magical magical story and i about like well just know i know who brianna banks is funny um no we i went to a club in florida i was on vacation um with some girlfriends and we went to a club and these this group of guys swore to god that i was brianna banks and i mean again this This would have been 2004, 2005. Oh, shit. I mean, how many? It's okay, everybody that's Googling this right now. Just to get started. You can see it. I'll show you an old picture. I'll show you an old picture of myself. I'll show you 24-year-old Tebby.
00:29:43
But these guys swore to God that I was Brianna Banks. And it seriously, it was like somebody fucking lit a match on gasoline. And this was like an Orlando, Florida Three-story nightclub And it just spread Like wildfire Before we knew it, we had VIP We had our own security Everything was own security So it spread for the fucking good So you rolled with it Fuck yeah That was my hope, I'm like please tell me I knew exactly who she was She was Jenna Jameson's little homegirl She was like 2.0 I knew who she was Yeah, so hell yeah, I rolled with it and yeah, we had VIP. We had our own security drinks on the house everything anything and everything we wanted like it was Insane so yeah, I rolled with it. That's fucking awesome, right? Sadly, I could probably pass for like Ron Jeremy That's fucking awesome So you were there for vacation?
00:30:49
Yeah, we were just down there. I'm from Florida originally. Oh, shit. Why the hell did you come here? I mean, your parents moved here, blah, blah, blah. I'm a Navy brat. Oh, okay. So I was born south of Miami. I thought she was going to go, I was born Brianna Banks.
00:31:05
I'm actually her. I mean, witness protection. Actually, that was right before I retired and then I moved here. No, I was born south of Miami. Grew up in Hawaii. My dad was stationed in Pearl Harbor. Wow. I lived in Idaho for a couple of years. My dad worked on nuclear submarines. We lived in Idaho for a couple of years, and then California, Georgia, back to Florida. Then when my dad got out of the Navy, we moved here because he was a nuclear engineer for Duane Arnold. Sure. Wow. Damn. I moved here right before high school. Okay. Now that's all. I'm having flashbacks. I've heard that on your podcast before.
00:31:42
So yeah, I'm from everywhere. Yeah, and I was I love hearing that stuff because I've never left like I was born here And I haven't fucking went anywhere. Yeah, but that's awesome. Yeah, not that cool Everybody always asked her like oh that had to suck moving around so much and it did there was aspects of it Like I don't have lifelong friends, you know sure I don't have friends that I've been friends with since childhood you have us with the deck and everything out like you got the gift though yeah so but um what i do have is a a vast knowledge of diversity and i've been around so many different cultures and people and i mean i got to live in hawaii like no kid i mean i've never been you know like i've never been either because i hate flying but my wife grew up as a she was air force brat she moved around a lot and so like but the but the thing is you figure out how to like make friends very quickly like in a new place and you you get solid people so yep did was it did it get easier with time to leave people like you had friends and then like how long were you the first time would probably suck you know what i mean so hawaii would have been the longest stint well that's good yeah yeah uh we were only in idaho for a couple years california a couple years uh then back to florida a couple years okay um but even like within florida too it was like six months here six months there there was a little
00:33:15
bit of moving around um same with cali it was too different like he was stationed in one place for like six months and then we went up north like i lived in vallejo if you know where that's at i've heard of it it's where yeah e-40s from no legit oh my god so yeah that's the other thing with military is i mean i went to hardcore schools yeah oh yeah there's wire fences yeah that was what i was gonna ask because hawaii awesome but you're not living on a resort so what's it like when you're actually in hawaii you know i mean like i mean it's a little like clearly the weather and all that stuff's great but you're still like yeah it was fantastic the schools were the school was good there okay i mean we lived in base house we always live in base housing which base housing is base housing yeah um but california and florida was the worst i mean i can yeah yeah like where i was born is south of miami so okay like spanish harlem yep um yeah it was a little a little rough yeah i had to fight my way through a lot yeah i can't imagine i looked like the minority everywhere yeah everywhere i lived so and that's something most people especially here will never understand but but my family is from puerto rico i just present white you cheater look at you flying under the radar you suburban white no i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding i am i am basic bitch yeah well but yeah i got to live in a lot of cool places and meet a lot
00:34:50
of cool people so that's awesome that's awesome so you said a little bit ago how you're you know you were like no yeah i rode with it the brianna banks thing yeah so i was listening to one and you said how you guys we used to go to concerts or something you would wear like a baby face or like a baby mask and and here's the first of all i don't know what the that is but second while i asked because you were like i have no shame and i am like that too i'm always the one like you can find lots of pictures of me and up the picture we just posted because you made me right i'll show you the baby please it's the baby and it's her it's always the baby the rapper debate you know it's the baby her oh so but like you said that because you were like you should you would be the best hype man or whatever so like i have no shame but i still get very self-conscious is like if i was like you know a band brought me out was like hype the crowd would be like oh i'd be pissing my pants i would probably do it and just black out not remember it but but like have you always been like that because that's hard like a lot of people can't do that yeah i do get in certain scenarios where i get kind of bashful okay but something about the baby face put a baby face on she's got the mask on and nobody knows who she is Right it's fucking brilliant. It's like that's a good idea. It's like the glasses and Big Daddy. Yeah So this was a blocktoberfest. Oh my god
00:36:25
What up where did you get that it was just a picture of my baby and blew it up No, it was one of my kids Halloween masks a long time ago, and I don't even remember Why you busted it out? I don't know, I just like... There's something about seeing that? Like she ended up on the pork tornadoes like promo and stuff. So if you ever see DaBaby, it's... Can you send that to me and we're gonna put it out as our... I'm not kidding, yeah. This has to be the cover of our episode. A couple of Halloweens ago, we went to a rave at the Olympics. So is it like a cardboard thing? It's like nylons. But it doesn't go around your like it's like a little strap like a Spandex Matt or spandex head cover and then can you see very well? Not really?
00:37:17
Okay, cuz it does not look like you can see there. I can totally get how that is like you are just like That's awesome. I was gonna sound like I would act a fool I had all black on at the rave so imagine being a stone kid at a rave and you just see this baby head floating at you Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard that night There's a video of it? Yeah, so now you gotta see it Play it again, play it again Oh, dude, I'm getting one of these I need to get a new one Hold on, it looks way more funny from the back Oh my gosh No shame That is amazing But DaBaby sadly passed away At the Port Tornadoes concert You know what A little bit of a sacrifice to make the show It's worth a second one though I cleaned my garage I think I need to adopt another But I cleaned my garage this weekend And I have an old Big bird cage So I put DaBaby in there And I sent it to her and I said despite all my rage. I'm still just One yeah, that's yeah there's other faces too. Yeah, you can get I get a Nicolas Cage one
00:38:47
I love Nicholas no like other baby faces. I mean a baby face is a lot funny. I guess yeah nicholas cage makes people run away but yeah the the best is we went to a rave for halloween a few years ago and she wore that was her her costume and she wore the baby and this rave was we were probably the oldest people there but yeah we were there because a friend's son who's a dj and yada yada whatever and we're not i mean i was a 90s rave kid so i was like yeah let's do this yeah so we go to this rave and she's the baby and she another thing about megan is she is a dance she she could be completely stone cold sober she is typically 90 of the time on the dance floor all night long doesn't give a no shame the baby or not the baby see then that's what i don't have anymore and i used to but yeah she gives no that's awesome but she was on the dance floor all night as a baby and like everybody loved her the crowd just just people were challenging me to like yeah so we we were you're crashing the next wedding i go yeah they had like uh tall like bar top tables and she's out there dancing and we're all standing at the bar top and i leaned over to the group and i said you know what's the funniest thing about this is that she's out there with that mask on busting a move all night and nobody really realizes that she's a a manager of an eye clinic and a mom nobody knows nobody knows that you got this whole other like yeah persona life that has like real responsibilities and you do it well there was this kid in like a three-piece suit
00:40:20
and a bear head and we kept dancing with each other and at some point he was like reveal yourself he was like i love your energy reveal yourself and i was like oh and i had a fanny pack with um ring pops in it like binkies yeah and if you want one you gotta dance for da baby yeah and so people were dancing for the ring pops and so i he kept asking me and i was like no and you can't talk like no i can't talk to anybody and so finally i was like it and i raised it and he was like It's a mom! It's a mom! You're not a newly graduated person.
00:41:07
Ew, yucky! No, he was like, you're fucking awesome. Will you be my mom? Yeah. It was so fun. It was at the Olympics, so you know, there's the long staircase. So we're leaving and we're coming down, because we're leaving early because we're old. And there's young people, like, they had gone outside to smoke or whatever, and they were coming back up the stairs. all of them were like, bye da baby.
00:41:34
See, you still got it. What I love about that is for years to come, people are going to be like, no, I'm not kidding. There was this fucking baby, right? And they're going to try to explain it. Bro, what were you on? She tried to explain it without the picture. I don't know, it was like a mask, but kind of. But no, we just had to understand it. For real. You had to be there. You just had to be there. Oh, and then I brought it out. We went camping this summer. Yes. And our friend had taken a bunch of mushrooms.
00:42:04
Yes. And so his girlfriend. Oh, hold on. No, no, no. You didn't like run up to him like when they. I mean, I like creeped around, like creeped through the darkness. And so he's dying laughing. Then his girlfriend asked if she could borrow it. And I was like, for what? Right, yeah. Can you imagine if you put the baby mask on and your boyfriend's like rock hard?
00:42:34
When you said that you met the guy with the bear costume in my head, I'm like is this like a furry party? The baby yeah, that's uh oh my god Talk for two hours about rave so I we pression get into that I was I was hard core. Yeah, I know I go Texas. Yeah, Madison had some killer Yeah, Madison. Yeah, you go and you got to go to a spot and then you get a card that actually called a number Dress on the number and then you go to the real rave. Yeah, do you still go? No, no So so gone so that that's what's funny is like without getting into it like I had kid You know, I got out of it a long time ago, but had kids whatever But I used to I would dance for 12 straight hours sober like wouldn't leave the fucking dance floor now. I don't dance Forgetting to make cocktails leave me alone Making this drink so you might as well be dancing A little bit, but like if there's like you know a big thing I'm not like you where it's like I used to be in dance-offs and I would do that not give it didn't give a shit Yeah, now I like I just don't do that Bring it back who gives a fuck?
00:43:51
I know that's the thing But you don't have to be in a dance-off you can just dance Well, yeah in stereo Yeah, yeah, no, I know I know and that's the thing where I'm like, man, maybe I don't give a shit about almost anything I'll talk about anything, whatever, but I'm like, damn, somewhere along the line You lost it I lost that little part of it You know what though? i'll bring it back to what we were talking about earlier when people talk about things and open themselves up it makes other people that's what i love about dancing is then you'll start to see people trickling in and they're like you're awesome can i dance with you and i'm like fuck yeah and let's be honest the older people that come out there it's like yes what gets the rest of us you know what i mean so yeah she's always the first one out there when you think about like the best weddings you've been to it's always like yeah you know we're booze and everything but we were like on the dance floor all night you know what I mean like that's always the difference because you can just go to a bar and drink you know what I mean like but when you go to like a wedding or something like that and all the coolest ones were like yeah we're out there doing just dancing yeah it's not good yeah no one's great I don't think there's any bad dancing well I'm saying it's the sprinkler and the lawnmower you know my Go to say you know you go with that you know like yeah, you can scoot around and do the whole deal so But those are the weddings you think about that like you have the best time at yeah You'll have to go to live music with us. Yes. Oh, I totally. Oh, yeah awesome cover bands 90s kid is our new favorite 90s kid that's that's the name of the band
00:45:24
And I hear yeah, oh, I haven't even heard yeah, yeah, we saw them at double Z's this summer double c's so like gin blossoms like like just anything it's kind of a pop turned also 90s pop okay okay okay but they do punk they do it in a punk way and they've got like a screamo like the guitarists really do britney spears song but like mix it up they're they're good that's awesome it's a lot of fun did you write that down yeah yeah if there's live music we're We're probably gone. Yeah. Yeah. And I love going out and we go see live music a lot. And we're out by 11. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Yeah. I'll snap a hip after nine. We're so cool. I'm a fucking gangster till 11.
00:46:06
But that's like one of my favorite TikToks or whatever. When you get older, you realize you can do 2 a.m. shit at fucking, you know, 5 o'clock in the evening. You know, like, it's okay. Do you remember when we would make fun of our parents? I remember hanging out with your family. It's like, and we would go out at, you know, to fucking Moose or whatever. And we, they were like, yeah, we're going out. I like to and I was like fucking to yeah, yeah, we're home by eight. Yeah, like We do it again the next night and now you said to me and I'm like my pants are stiff Yeah, I literally never understood why people waited till eight or nine or ten o'clock Yeah, we used to wait till you didn't show your face Before a ten o'clock no that was that college though. I feel like we would do that because we'd always my party 21 I mean like pre-party at a house or whatever No, I remember it. I just like 21 to 23 Because it was too early it wasn't cool because we all the 40 year olds were there till 10 Yeah, and then we took over then they cleared out. Yep see and I Like my parents would go out a lot and then we I could ride their tab for a while. So that would be a big okay That's a That's a cheat code.
00:47:20
It's like, would you pay tonight, Shaun? I don't know, 30 bucks? Because Dad took care of the rest before he took off. You know, like, yeah. That is a win. Right, so that was... It's kind of that way with karaoke now. Sometimes if we go too early, it's like... Okay, I got to know, what's your go-to karaoke song? Mine? Yeah. Bust a Move by Young MC. Really? Nice. Hell yeah. What comes next? Hey, Bust a Move. She doesn't even have to read the screen. Oh, sure. I got it. How about you? Yeah, mine's Shoop. salt and pepper hell yeah makes me think of deadpool every time now so i remember in school a girl that i sat by in a class was like obsessed with that to where she wrote out the whole song multiple times like just wrote the whole yeah knew all the lyrics and the whole thing so like i like yeah yeah i think i could probably pull it off but i say i could see 90 of it yeah yeah because i do it every time it comes on in the car right it's on the list yeah what a red lion for karaoke no Oh shit. Oh, so I live right by there and we like especially post divorce and stuff I was like, I'm going on a little bit more obviously not there to pick up chicks just to get out of the house Right so but like we spent a Valentine's there we did we've been there a lot. Yeah, that's right Yeah, but a great little bar. Yeah, it's so fun. It's like Do they still only take cash? No, no They evolved yeah, but it is funny because I love going in there and also like I love what you guys are saying but like watching those like 70 year old dudes like seeing frank i fucking love it it's so
00:48:52
nice they're so good yeah they're the sweetest people yeah the last time we went there uh we were with our friends eric and elisa kara and i and uh like there was that going on and eric just like went was like may i have this dance i cut in in front of the guy he goes i wanted to sing anyway and he like handed his old older lady bride off to him and it was like it was the coolest thing ever i was like my heart just melted a little bit yeah that's what i'm talking about we do big karaoke like gatherings a couple times a year we always we always go in february like out like a group you guys go out a group of us and we all made at the red lion for a night like i'll call mary the owner and say hey we're coming in she reserves a whole section for us man i love that bar like i just can you please text mike and get us we are there we'll bring the drink again I'm going to say something I don't know if we said it on the podcast but this is like a thing that I need to check off my list I have done karaoke I've only done it completely smashed and terrible and I want to actually do it where I'm making a real attempt but it's like for me it's like I need the liquid courage so I've never been able to bridge that gap of like doing it while I'm still sober enough that I sound Are you embarrassed?
00:50:14
Are you thinking about what people think of you? Yeah, I think it's just a mental block. But even seeing other people get up there and it still doesn't help you? But I want to. I'm at the point now where I'm making an omission to fix that. Oh, so you're putting it out there so we will hold you to it. So we'll do a reply at night and just sign up right away so you're one of the first people, which there won't be that many people. And you can't back out because they will shoot you if you try to back out. The other problem I have is picking the song. Because the songs I love and I know every single word to, I don't have the voice for.
00:50:50
Like Stapleton songs. You can't pick. You don't go with Adele for your first song. Setting the bar pretty high. That's why I always say I don't sing. People are like, you get up and sing. I'm like, no, I don't sing. I perform. No, bitch, I rap. yeah yeah so yeah that's if you and i are you and i are on the same page yeah i want to start the party yeah normally one of my one of my good buddies and i we we normally do to do it together and we'll grab two mics you know i mean and if we have wireless ones that helps a little bit yeah so kate will go the other side of the bar i'll go to the other one and we'll play like whatever songs and he's one of those guys like me you'll just get it all of a sudden people like you know we sing you know living on a prayer so you know i mean and then everybody like having a blast with it and we done it before and then all of a sudden we signed up for four more songs that we didn know But it was more because people were just having fun It wasn like we can sing well My wife can actually sing really well.
00:51:47
So like she can do legit like songs. And not me. Like I'm like dying. The karaoke switching over to like only amazing. Has anyone else noticed that? Like there's a lot of places it pops up and people do karaoke. But it's they're fucking phenomenal. All of them. yeah who the hell is gonna be like i got this and then go up after that it's okay if it's every now and then like i've seen these karaoke nights where i've been there and watch them like it's been two hours and no one's missed a note phenomenal and and i gotta go first all right eric you gotta jump well i feel like we should start rating them like this is karaoke for b plus people you're like right okay that's still not me they're like f yeah i'm up i'm saying red lines a good mix it is that's why red lines great good mix there's some people that get up there and and it's like, holy shit, they were like that chick that got up and sang zombie.
00:52:34
Oh, yeah. I was like, damn, girl. And then there's people that, like, we're just getting up there to have fun. There's some people that get up there and you're like, yeah. And that's what makes people go like, still got a support, Erik. But they're having a blast. Buddy, we will blast this out there. It'll be all people that love you. That's what I will put Shaun on my shoulders. to like just a small group of your friends because you can do it right now rather it yeah you can totally do it right now if only we were in if only we were in a studio you know that was all mic'd up and everything that alexa play crash test dummies these two fuckers know like my brain goes way out of bounds but like i i can't stop processing it I've actually recorded myself at home because I know how to do this.
00:53:28
You know, like I've recorded myself at home and listened back and I'm like, fuck this. Release the files. Yeah. We want those files. What are you talking about? I always think it's better if it's a ton of people. Cause I have done it when it's just like a few scattered. Like I went into the red lion with, who was I with? Oh, Brian one time. and it was like i don't know four o'clock in the afternoon or something and so it was just a few people scattered and like nobody was paying attention and i was doing walk like an egyptian like you can't even give me a little like let's get a little we all know you don't have to be good to do this dance we all know yeah and people are just like so yeah i'd prefer lots of people hype. Yeah. Well, that's why I always go to... We'll hype you up, Erik. And I'll stay sober with you. I'm not drunk when I do it. I don't really like to get drunk when I go out. I like to go to the sing-along songs. That's why. So if it's like getting everybody into it, I'm just yelling over it. But you're all singing anyway.
00:54:35
Yeah, for sure. Well, we'll put a karaoke night on the books. I love it. Bring the wives, bring the girlfriends. Ashley would be all over this. Hey, should we sing together? I went ahead and put us down for four songs together. You're like, I was thinking solo, but whatever. It's fine.
00:54:55
I love you, too. I love it. Taps and Meg, I got it all signed up. We're going to be good together. I sent a message. They're in. But she is good. She actually sings really good. She does. But we got some questions. Well, I don't know. So I had one more thing, just because I was listening to the podcast, and you said this, and then you guys just went on, and you never went back to it. And I was like, am I the only one that fucking heard this? What are they talking about? So it's one of ours? like where we say someone never come back to it? Oh, yes, absolutely is what it is. So you know what it felt like to be one of our listeners?
00:55:24
Yeah, it pissed me off. I was like, I want to know this right now. We do that. We do that. I thought about just messaging her on Facebook for my own sake and being like, just answer this for me. Some people have done that. Like, can you clarify? That's most of our emails. It's just like, hey, you need to go back to this. I'm like, thank you so much. Yeah, you answered half my email, but not the other half. I think it was Marshall or Schulte, but you were talking about, you go, oh, my grandma was a stand-up comedian, and then you guys just went on. and i went no one thinks that's crazy i was like i know my grandma and fuck that and we love stand up we love stand up so i was like what i want to know more about this because that is so rare i feel like yeah so my grandma was also i love her already a stand-up comedian grandma lee you can look her up um for sure when my grandfather passed away um it had always been her dream i mean you know she she grew up watching you know the greats and really kind of women not be in that that especially yeah yeah yeah um it wasn't you know really to like what carol burnett joan river yeah and even then it was very thin to where it like it's really been more like 15 years right since it's been like um like yeah i mean roseanne and literally like that fresh especially if they were dirty which my grandma was hell yeah so when when my grandpa she was my best friend by the way um when my grandpa passed it had always been her dream so she started at 60. no shit yeah um and she just went for it and before we knew it she was on america's got talent one day she had been
00:57:00
wait what well prior so she yeah so she had been now i feel like i've seen her okay well because she just did an open mic and i would have been impressed no no so like she was on jenny jones back in the day hell yeah um what else what other shows did she like she was on bet comedy central what was the name again grandma lee i wrote it down um and then she and so she would tour the country and then she ended up on america's got talent um and then she had her own show in vegas she was a frequent in vegas um that's she started at 60. so if you're listening yeah and you're like well i'm too old and i'm kind of talking to myself right now it's never too late to chase your dreams she was one of my in the back of my head my my real push to to start the podcast and go after like the whole like my dream would be like to be on snl like not snl now but like uh at SNL. Like some form of it.
00:57:59
Yeah. Our version of SNL. We do love to do skits. Like fucking Lorraine in a sauce. Where's the fucking casserole? And I grew up around that too. My dad was a very comedic guy. You'd never think because he was a fucking invicular engineer. He's doing some very serious shit. He needed to cut it down a little bit. He needed to escape into comedy. My dad was more like my 16 year old brother growing up my whole life um but my grandma i just i grew up around my grandma telling dirty jokes at christmas and um my dad had two brothers and it it was just like the norm and that's why you're like unflappable now i think so yeah like you can't it's really hard to offend me i kind of think everything's funny i'll make that a joke that maybe isn't is inappropriate but i think it's funny there's something about that one reason that her and i get along as well as we do is we very much have the same sense of humor.
00:58:56
We will break into a skit and a voice and everybody around us will be like, what the fuck is going on? Like when that edible hits. Right, it is SXL. Yes, but I think that's something so cool because I grew up Irish Catholic, huge family, you know what I mean? And we laughed. My whole family laughed together and a lot of it was inappropriate. And there was, you know, as a young kid, I saw lots of drinking everything else and growing up. But I just thought that's what you do. Like it was almost like in my family, like a competition to be funny. Right. Cause that's, if you made, you made everybody laugh, you got the room.
00:59:35
Right. And you're in a room. How you don't get beat up in a big family. Well, yeah, true. Yeah. You get that. But when I'd be around, my uncles were like, you know, it wouldn't be weird for there to be 30 people in the room to get, you know, if you want to be heard, you better say something. And if you stick the landing, oh, then you're just like, you know. So for those at home, if you're wondering why Shaun's loud, there it is. Very loud. Because everyone that knows us is like, well, Mike's loud. And I'm like, oh, guys. No. I'm with Shaun. They're like, oh, fuck. You can hear me coming in. Yeah.
01:00:05
I mean, only one of us has made a guy leave a bar. So fuck that old guy. I've never. Make us tell that story. Fuck that guy. So there's your answer. I love that. I love that. So it's so funny. I was driving and I heard that and I go, and I had my notebook and I was... Tell me the camera was on him for that one. Make sure we have that.
01:00:30
You can just cut the sound. But I literally grabbed my notebook and I'm like, don't do this, kids, when you're driving. But I was like... And so it looked so stupid. It was like tabs, kind of, but the S is weird. Grandma had to rewrite three times. And then I said, comedian, question mark. and i was like that's enough to get me through it we love series come on man i know but it's like i had stuff on the shut up yeah she was an amazing lady she passed away in 2020 um and yeah she just shout out to grandma lee well yeah and she's the reason you started that yeah so i know we've probably been talking for a long time but i wanted to say uh you so oh yeah i one thing i we talk about a lot of things that are they still cool yeah and we were going to come up with one for this but i was like you know what we have so much to talk to them about we let's not do that for this one we're clearly still cool right exactly we wouldn't have podcasts otherwise but yeah hello but automatically takes 10 years off like so we're exactly yeah we're back baby so but i wrote down i was like what is still cool and i don't do it and i want to do it and i've thought about it is keeping a diary but then i so but i i lost a really good friend a few years ago like and it's kind of what spiraled the divorce and all this stuff right and i wish so much that i had more to see and hear from them and i i don't we haven't even talked about this on the podcast but this is what sparked and i go dude when we're i don't care if anyone i mean i want people to
01:02:05
listen to this but we do this because we enjoy it and if people enjoy it with us that's awesome but down the road our kids are gonna have so much to listen to about us and i would have killed to have like my grandpa on a podcast and talk about stuff now granted a lot of it is gonna be super but that i talk to my kids the way this is like my kids are like oh that's just dad you know whenever whenever i miss her because i mean that and that's every day but um it is really cool that i can just go back and watch one of her episodes or right google her i mean she's she's got her own wikipedia i was like that's right grandma you made it when she's crazy when she passed away people magazine put it like they well they called my uncles first to make sure that it was okay like that everybody in the family knew that's nice yeah and then um people and i remember just like talking to her i feel like i was like grandma you fucking made it dude like they were talking about you in people magazine like she would have yeah and she just she loved people she didn't give a shit if she made millions of dollars she just loved to make people laugh and she'd love to be around people and yeah it made her like all giddy inside when people would recognize her yeah it would make her just so so happy yeah um that's she was bad forward to us too yeah is we just like you like we want people to listen but like also we don't care like we want it to reach everybody that it needs to reach but not for the reasons that some people think yeah but not like
01:03:38
how much money are you guys making yeah oh yeah blah blah and it's like if we did yeah make money that would be great that's different yeah if it comes it comes yeah but i'm doing this because i enjoy it. I love these guys. I want to talk to them all the time anyway. Why not? And we hear people like listening. And if you don't like what I say, shut it off. It's okay. You get that power. You don't have to listen to me at all. Have you guys had any negative feedback on yours? No, we're just called everybody to say it.
01:04:08
We haven't been around as long, so I still think we're still friends and family. We haven't had any negative comments or feedback like that. I kind of want it. Neither have we. Really? and i mean we talk about some pretty dicey stuff sometimes so like i've just been kind of waiting but honestly i don't care right i don't guess what i'm doing tomorrow writing you a strong email everybody's got an opinion and that's okay but um that makes me feel good too on the flip side that we have it because obviously then we're it's resonating we're doing a good job yeah yeah I think we make it very clear that even when we talk about our exes and shit, we're not here to bash.
01:04:51
We're here to tell our story. Right. Yeah. I think Cat Williams said it best. If you don't want me to fucking talk about you, then I guess you should have treated me better. Right. Oh, all right. Yeah. And if what we say makes you grumpy, well, then, like you said, turn it off. Turn it off. You get to. That's okay. You don't have to. Yeah. If 60% of the people love it, then that's why we're doing it. the other 40 be grumpy yeah but we don't also go after shocking topics that's not what we're trying to do you know we're not trying and you guys don't either it's like you we're talking our opinions true and i would argue like a lot with yours or with ours like it really does hit a chord and you're like oh yeah i do that i mean so we talk about being a dad and a husband and navigating having kids and balancing them between like us having a life and then like kids and then them pretty providing and you know and all that stuff and so it's like everybody i think in general can get behind that it's not like that big of a thing but so we do ask a couple questions yes general so we would like to hit you with a couple questions if you don't mind so so first of all that we we need to get the elephant out of the room we gotta get the the big one that we got do you pee in the shower yes my grandma has a whole skin about that Really?
01:06:08
Okay, Grandma Lee being in the shower. She's here. She's here. Well welcome, Grandma Lee. She really does. And it's fucking about me. This is given like, I don't know what this is. We asked this once and it has become like our calling card. Everyone's like, we'll go places where they're like, totally piss in the shower. And by the way, to get out of the room, because I'm the weird one always, I don't. Really? You don't? Oh my god, I'm so happy right now. happy right now i never knew people peed in the i didn't either so like i have no people did like it's dude i'm so happy right now i thought it was gonna be the only one yeah yeah we were like sitting around for christmas or something my grandma was talking about pissing in the shower of course and i passed the turkey yeah and i remember like leaning over to her and i was like and then she like because she would make like some of her bits were about us family members and like we know who it's about nobody else does but yeah she had to pee in the shower one i didn't know people peed in the shower so i have a shower regimen and i've always had the same the same cadence call it you pissed before the shower right like so i go into the bathroom i was just saying you gotta give us our cadence because we've been on that too so if you don't want to share i go into the bathroom yeah i strip down yeah you're on a banks yeah hey girl take a quick look still got it definitely on the stage yes absolutely and i go potty especially if i got a deuce because i want to do it now and then get in the shower where i'm not going to smell it yeah i always go to the
01:07:42
bathroom before i get in the shower yep every time sure i just and how long are you in there that you have to go again like i'm like even women right like you guys are in there longer than i am and And I'm like, I don't have to go every five minutes. Right. Like, I'm not, like, going to hold it and then get in the shower and then, oh. By the way, we have heard from people who literally do that. They're like, oh, I got to piss. I might as well shower. And they get in the shower and they're like, oh. I'm like, what the fuck, man? No, but I think it's so, like, Erik and Ari's stance has been, it's not like we do it every time.
01:08:13
But the way we got to go, I don't, there's no way that it, it just happens. Like, I will go. And it probably happens at least once a week. Even if I don't have to go, I just. I still generally go before. It's more of, I feel like it hits me more like an afternoon shower, like after I've like been mowing the lawn or like whatever, and I run in quick and I do that because it's not part of my like standard. But I'm here to tell you, you can pee first. But I don't even think about that. The morning is part of my routine because I have to pee, and then I'll get in from doing that, and then it hits me.
01:08:42
I'm like, oh, yeah, here we go. And I think about you every time now. I know you do. I didn't use that. I didn't use that. I didn't think about you every time. before I get in the shower. Fuck you, Shaun. While she's taking a shit, just so you know. While I'm taking a shit. While I'm deucing it up. I didn't used to pee in the shower, but I started. You're newly reformed. Yes. How great was it the first thing you did where you felt wrong, but then you're like, it's kind of awesome. You've been missing this your whole life. I'm the fucker that has to clean this shower. So if I'm peeing in the shower, who knows what else is going on in the shower.
01:09:18
Lots of stuff in your house. We brought this to all of our friends we've talked about it in pool parties whatever and I mean it is shockingly crazy I would say nine out of ten people pee in the shower for sure yeah And I never knew that I just I don't not pee in the shower because I'm better than you No, I just like I said I just I have a routine Yeah, and also I have a superpower where I can piss anytime I want like I've heard people go like oh I had to piss in a jar and I couldn't go. I'm like, I can always go. Wait a minute. What are you talking about? Bullshit. In a lake or a pond. You guys are assholes.
01:09:58
Are you afraid something's going to swim in a lake? No, my feet have to be touching. I'm only 5'2", brah. I'm only 5'6". You're not going on the moon? Oh, shit, that would suck. I didn't think about that. Zero gravity. You have a little lift in the shoes. I have lifts.
01:10:16
Okay, but where'd you get those Don't really I can't okay, but I always have to go my point is I can always shut up if my feet are touching I can always go Yeah, I walk in the back He wasn't drinking and I'm like what is wrong with P don't you and he's like I go go stand on the ladder and he like stands Sweet release. It was amazing. Don't act like you can pee everywhere. I can pee any time with my feet touching. Is that better? Have you had to teach your kids how to pee in the lake? I've had to teach my son how to poop in the lake. So yes.
01:11:02
Didn't it pop back up and float? I don't know. We sent him away. Then you drive the boat away. We're out there for a long time. Oh, we're on a boat. Oh, I thought he was like floating. No, no, no, no. Like this was straight up like, yeah, we were out in the lake and we were anchored up and going to be out there for a while. We're with a big group. And he's like, I got to go. I'm like, all right. And we're with another guy that's, we have a place in the Ozarks and so we've been down there. And so we're with the other. And he's like, all right, buddy, the wind's going this way and the water's going that way.
01:11:36
You're going to go over there. Point your, what if it floats? He goes, well, that's why we're going to stay on this end because it's going to float that way. That's going to float. And he goes, or you hope you got a sinker and you'll be okay. You know what I mean? What you hope is that you don't have diarrhea. And then he's like, well, then what do I do? And he goes, well, you swish around in circles, you know, get that big. Oh, my God. This is the point where my wife shuts the episode off.
01:12:00
Sorry. I'm not going to lie about that. Don't leave us yet. Don't leave us yet. You're not done. What his favorite thing was? I pooped in the lake. You know, then the next time he's like, I think I have your way. And I'm like, shut the fuck. You're like, this isn't something we do all the time, man. You don't like save it up to come here. Yeah. I would swim to shore. I think I would probably well, I bet I can't shit without my feet touching so I'd be doggy paddling my ass over to the shore too. Mike what are you doing? SHUT UP! Hanging off the back of the boat. You're not fucking shit by my boat. You gotta go shit on someone else's boat. You can do that.
01:12:33
Try to stop me. Try to stop me. I remember having to teach my daughter how to, cause we camp a lot. Yeah. I camp her and kayak her. Gotta go. And I had to remember have to know because for girls, it's there's a little more to it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It is not the same. Yes. No, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll pee. I'll piss outside before I'll ever go on a port-a-potty. I'm that girl. Oh, I don't blame you. I'm the drunk girl pissing behind the car. Right. Yeah. I don't blame you. I don't blame you either. Buy something to hold on to and let her rip. Yeah. Yeah. Port-a-potties are disgusting. Yeah.
01:13:03
Yeah. I mean, if all else fails and it has to happen. You can hover, but it's still gross. Even then. the stench too because it's summer usually when you're using them it's easier for us because we're seeing up but now they got the little urinal thing so it's way better than we are spoiled you know that stuff is like yeah like go to like summer camp where it's like a legit latrine that's been there for 50 years yeah it's and then you know there's spiders and yeah you learn real quick you learn real quick and we have to you know our stuff's all exposed so it's a little yeah so yeah had to teach her how okay you gotta pull to the side yeah pull the panties to the side yeah you gotta make sure your legs are spread enough so that and and you can't be too high you can't be too low because yeah there's a happy zone yeah you guys can write your name but not in cursive like yeah like we could we probably write a guide of how to piss us off have you have you heard of the like she we yeah we i have one we were gonna have you ever ever tried it i haven't tried it yet so We bought one as a joke a long time ago and I believe Julie had it.
01:14:07
It's bounced around as a gag gift, but I don't think anyone's actually used it. I want to know if it works. If it's still the gag gift, someone give it to me and I'll throw it on the boat. I thought you were going to say, I'll try it. I'm like, well, that's fucking defeating the purpose there. See how far we can go here. Okay, so I'll bring it for karaoke and we'll go out back and I'll give her the Okamu's try. Right between the dumpsters. I'm going to draw a little target and we'll figure this out. I'll stand back from here and I'll shoot it to there. And then it's going to end up over there. Let's see how far we can go.
01:14:36
Nothing but that. I do ride Brian. So I have some friends that they brought them. And they said, you know, like it is convenient in that sense. Because we all wear kilts while we're biking and stuff. And yeah. So they said it was convenient. But it's like, okay, you still have to clean it. It's still covered in piss. It's still covered in piss. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, to like then throw it back in your bike bags, you got to spray it down on the water. It's not as convenient as you would think. I've never gotten a flashlight. I had to clean it out. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I've seen them. Pocket puss.
01:15:09
I bet it's fun. First of all, post-nut clarity is one thing, but then having to clean it out? Oh, God. Oh, we opened up. We stepped in something. No, you can't say nothing now. God gave you two pocket pussies. So just enjoy those. Just use the other hand. It'll be an adventure. The stranger is a little bit more of a thing. God, it could be fucking frustrating. Now what?
01:15:38
Keep the rhythm, motherfucker. What are we doing? I'm diabetic. It's shaking. Put a softer glove on. Do you have any bear gloves to go with that mask? Jesus Christ. That's right. I saw a guy talking about when girls... Sorry. No, I know. When girls try to jerk him off and he's like they're trying to be all soft and they got their soft hands and he's like I need like a construction worker Doesn't feel right without the cow I'm used to mine Yeah, like beat that thing Right? Yeah Damn it Betsy, you got me Are there any diesel mechanics out there?
01:16:26
Exactly Let me look at you and let him take care of this Oh my god Oh, Piston's pumping Oh goodness Well, folks listening at home This has been fun pissing in the shower masturbation what do we got oh yeah we got easier ones what's yours oh this is super easy it's this is gonna seem tame after that well anything's gonna seem tame mine's tame too so toilet paper over or under over but it's crazy there's a lot of people who say under I went to a friend's house recently and I fucking changed that shit I'm like I'll do it every time I go there it drives me insane some people don't care I realized That's also crazy.
01:17:11
I can handle that a little bit better than someone like, I prefer under. Then it's like, I mean, fair. Have you seen the little video where somebody puts a spider on it So there a spider in the roll And if you pull it under that thing coming right out with it that funny yeah that how you change somebody mind one of my staff members uh hung up a new paper towel roll and i went to wash my hands and i was like what the fuck is this yes it feels like are you an under right and she was like what do you mean do you mean by a power bottom you're like no that's not what i meant you better do that shit with some enthusiasm she was like i don't even think about it i just put it on there and just use it and i'm like doesn't bother it's hanging down on the come on can you like use so much more it's so wasteful right or you're just looking at like that was well that's ripped off thrown in right just kicking it on the ground right yeah yeah yeah i don't know okay so mine is clearly unbiased but we've asked this through actually i think somebody emailed in and asked this but but backward hats on guys.
01:18:17
Is it still cool? Yes. But here's the thing. That's why I wanted to ask him. That's why he called me. He goes, we talked about it. He goes, I'll ask that question because I'll definitely have a backwards hat. He's going to go over the top. Yeah, you got to go over the top. Yeah. But my thing is, I've worn a backwards hat since I was in eighth grade. Like it's, I've always, but I'm like, I'm going to hit an age where I'm going to, someone's going to make fun of me or something. I don't give a shit. Yeah. But what's the age? because I still see people my age, but it's going down more every year. I see that.
01:18:49
But so far, every girl that we've asked is like, oh, that's a shit for sure. If it makes you happy. Has anybody been able to explain it to you? No, I mean, my wife will be like, oh, what are you trying to do? I'm like, well, you know what I'm trying to do. This is what we're trying to do. I didn't want to do this. So I did this. You got the gray sweatpants and the back of the hat. The back of the hat works better than fucking washing the dishes. Yes, it does. Hello, Mr. Bold. If you do that and wash the dishes, you're getting blown. We may not even make it to the bedroom. I don't know what it is because you can be like a six in a forward-facing hat.
01:19:26
You're an eight in a backwards hat. I see these videos where these girls are like, he wears it forward all day. Then he turns around and they're like, that's what it is. I'm like, oh, shit. I'm not ever wearing my forward so you can kiss my ass. You don't wear it at work all the time. No, I don't. But my kids even to mess with me, they'll spin it around. I'm like, knock it off. So you never forward? Never. See, I wear them forward and backward. I would like to see it forward. It's flat bill, so it'll look funny. How do you decide forward or backward? The hat depends a lot of it. If I have a flat bill, that's always backwards.
01:20:02
If I have a different... When you got it curved. Some fitted ones look cool, depending on what's in the back. You know what I mean? Flat bill is fair. on some people but they look good on younger kids they don't look no I don't like fucking Gomer pile just trying to be like little good like you know what I mean like it's weird but it's also oh good god it feels terrible yeah I don't know what it looks good I feel it feels weird i can't do it he looks better backwards but again it's been my whole life like i'm 42 it's been a long fucking time i don't want to do the math 14 years old so i'm but you always wear hats so i'm hitting i do i wear hats as much as i can and i have yeah somehow i have like 40 hats though and i don't wear them that much really yeah i have so many hats i have so many like it's just like yeah so and i used to only wear fitted ones and then i switch because it's like I start going through menopause.
01:21:06
I get hot flashes. It was like the breathable ones help more in the summer. I prefer the snapbacks more than that. Yeah, I like trucker hats. Yeah. I'm a hat girl. Yep. I almost wore a hat tonight. Oh, you should have. Yeah, sure. Backwards or forward. Girls in hats is fucking hot. I wear them both ways. Yeah. I wear it backwards a lot in the summer. Like, it's just, I don't know, it's comfy, man. My favorite Ashley, like when we're boating, she puts on a hat in the water. I'm like, God damn. It is cute. Yeah. I know. If I have the braids in, like I'll braid my hair before. Yeah. and then I put the hat on and my old man's always like, yeah.
01:21:37
Pull over, pull over. Yeah. The stocking hat, the stocking hat with the braids is also like, that's true. This is over the limit here. You know what? That's a great point though. Like it is super hot on chicks when they wear a hat. Yeah. Backwards or forwards. I mean like just like Kara, like it has to be a certain one or whatever, but like we go to the Cubs game. It's like, she wears the hat. But we're also, I'm a fan game. You know, same thing. Yeah. So I'm already hard. We're already going with that one. like this is like i'm like just full that's wearing a hat and she likes baseball right i just ate a glizzy let's go now she's gonna eat it's goblin time yeah absolutely do you do like the newsboy caps like maybe you just don't like the bill so i have one for like if i'm dressed up or whatever but i usually just go bald and don't wear one but i have one if i am feeling you can pull I pulled it off too.
01:22:30
How about a fedora? Yeah, I like that. Yeah, it's more of a, oh no, I don't have a fedora. I could try it. I feel like we've done those before. Fedora's hot in the summer. Yeah, I would do that. I mean, I have like a boating hat, you know, but it's like a fisherman's hat, you know, just, I'm Irish, I burn in a split second. Just like the floppy hat. Yeah. Exactly, yeah. So. Yeah, I've always wondered about the forward versus the backwards, just like I wonder, like how do guys decide when it's shirts off time? Like when you have an eight, no, I'm kidding. Depends on how in shape you are. Are you the first one?
01:23:05
But some guys don't care. Are you the first one? I'm a heavier guy, but I have a pool and a boat. Do you not want to be the follower? It doesn't matter. You just get used to it. Yeah, you can't care. Well, I just don't really like, yeah. These guys have heard this before, but I have a saying from my bike club. We used to have this little acronym on our jerseys. It's FLBT. Fat looks better tan. So like. Yeah, it does. I'm going to get a tan going in the summer. But don't listen to me. He spends four minutes in the sun and all of a sudden he's tan for the rest of the summer. What do you do when you can't tan?
01:23:39
Like me. What if you go from fucking mercury to fucking white? We can get you a nice spray tan. Oh, fuck. They probably don't know about this. Dude, you realize this is the first time it's been talked about in like three months. I forgot about it. I know. Get a spray tan. I got to go. We had people wanting to donate to the show so we could get a spray tan. live podcast Katrina Baritone they can bring it in here they just bring like a pop up thing and they just spray you down Mike Bram said he's like we had multiple people going I'll pay for it because it was first art Shaun what's your Venmo so you can just set this up I can get you one on the house just for the show guys it's not about cost it'll be like that episode of Friends I don't want to be Ross.
01:24:27
I got five sevens on my face. Yeah, like, where's your freckles? I don't even know anymore. I lost my freckles. I have no idea what happened. How funny would it be if Kara's like, ooh, that's hot. Then he's booking an appointment every other week. No, I'd be like, take a picture because I'm not doing this every week. I mean, I'm sure I've heard it's not that bad. Obviously, you're getting sprayed. It's not bad. I've done it before. The worst part is you just can't shower that night. Yeah. yeah so you want to get over your sheets and yeah you want to sleep in like old sheets yeah okay okay do you do your bits because like a strikingly white cock with like a tan body is going to be weird that's going to be weird it's going to be like you're throwing up a white flag have you ever seen a tan cock though i don't know what dudes do no i was wearing underwear i just wear like you wear underwear like really like yeah i don't own underwear you don't i mean i wear a boxer brief that sounds bad like it's the same thing no matter your dick's not supposed to be tan right but yeah like if you saw a tan dick what is that like a thing i don't know if i've ever seen a tan dick i feel like my dick's kind of tan anyways like mine's not his is not mine's not mine hasn't seen the sun in three damn days as kid rocks yours is just purple from being beat up so bad boys gotta do it a boys you can cover up your bits for this great tan okay okay thanks mom i'm really concerned right now just do it like flea and put a sock on it yep i mean get away get away get away
01:26:01
and i'm just gonna be helicopter with that song going so yeah no zebra stripes on it your butt will be nice and tan that'll be a first oh there you go do i have to shave it first no no okay all right i'm just making sure just my first time guys or something i don't own those either yeah we'll see but you're gonna have to get one so then we can take promo pictures the spray tan boy we're really going downhill after that i'll tell you that right now i got an american eagle one for you i don't doubt that for a second brother i really don't More of the tuxedo guy here. Is that what I heard? Oh, my God.
01:26:42
Oh, was this the weird sex podcast? Oh, yeah. So you'll just have to listen to the weird sex podcast. Oh, my gosh. Like, this should be your motivation to go listen to that podcast. I'm listening to it after this. Because I haven't heard that one yet. The embarrassing sex stories. Oh, my God. That guy just reached out. Did he really? Yes. Oh, that's the one.
01:27:05
Hey, whoever you are at home, yes, they're talking about you. Keep it up. Keep up the good work. No, do not keep up the not good work. Or I admire your confidence, buddy. Just keep it going.
01:27:18
He's still on your mind. That's something. No, he's still in her DMs. Her prize board was, yeah. That's fair. Megan's single, so. Yeah. Oh. Very single. And sir, you're so close. No, he's not. He's not. No, you're not. No, get away. we'll get a restraining order. Fuck you. The size story one is a good one. The guy that left his shoes on or put his shoes back on? Yeah, what the fuck? Going to work. I do say I leave the Crocs on during sex, but I wouldn't put them on when I didn't already have them on. I was kidding by the way. She looked at me like, do you really? Oh, I was like, interesting. The Crocs and the hacks.
01:27:57
And that's it. And they have to be in four wheel drive with the backs up. He wants the track. Because you're putting in words. I don't agree with that. And he did. But I understand what he's saying.
01:28:12
There are times where I'm like, I've been like, God, if I had a little more tracks right now, these floors are slippery. I'm like going to pound town and falling backwards. But once they come off, then he'll go back on. No, he got naked. This is a story about how it came off. He got naked. Then put the shoes back on. And then went and put his shoes on. No way. Yeah. And she was like, where are you going? And he was like, I'm going to work.
01:28:33
I'm the mayor of power of town. It's a good one. I'm saying my shorts have been around my ankles before with my shoes still on and we're fine. What are we talking about? Put your work gear back on. Were they like work boots? No, they were bright orange running shoes. That takes the fucking heart out of it, doesn't it? I was hoping they were like steel-toed construction boots. It'd be one thing. If you had like, I am doing work. You'd be like, fuck yeah. But it comes in with just a tool belt on. That's actually, okay. I'm going to add that to the fantasy. Look what kink you just unlocked. We should start writing clintature.
01:29:14
Yeah, absolutely. A new podcast coming here soon. Literally. Yeah, listen to that one. Let us know what you think. Coming all over your microphone. Yeah. Jesus. You know what would be awesome if they stick around when we do a second episode sometime? We could really get off the rails here with this stuff. Yes, we could. So if you ever listen to our second episodes, we keep drinking. So they get a little louder and they go off the rails more than usual. We don't do them a lot, but they happen every now and then. My tongue gets a little swollen.
01:29:49
Were you drinking poison? I knew it. Oh, Erik, do you have a dad joke? It's not a dad joke. and it goes with the spirit of where we've been going. Okay, I like that. Megan has a great Would You Rather. Oh, yeah. You probably heard that. Did you hear it? Yes. I don't think so. Wait. I don't think so. No, we didn't do that on the... We did it to Russ on Rock One Away. Oh, you're not talking about the big one. No, not that one. Why can't I ever do it? Oh, because it's so bad, Megan. You can do the goat one, though. What did you hear the one that... Well, that's not right. You've probably heard of one of our episodes where...
01:30:28
uh mike yeah we we call it the notebook too because mike has probably our most popular episode and it it went way off the rails it was the second episode but yeah mike uh go ahead tell i i i i'd had it written my notebook forever i was like i need to like find the right time to bring this up and i said it's september 10th 2001 gun to your head they say 9 11 is happening tomorrow no matter what millions of like thousands of lives are gonna perish right but you can stop it all right now if you blow osama bin laden that question was directed at me so yeah and basically and it was like sean loves getting credit for things so he's like if i have a statue like a day named after me but can you imagine how bad it smells and just like that has to be the worst it's uncircumcised for sure there's a lot of sand and dust yeah yeah spiders laid babies but yes if i'm saving lives and yeah, like I said, we got we pledge allegiance to Shaun for a day you betcha I get a snatch out of this you're going to have a dick in your mouth to completion that was my question I go, hold on, does he have to finish?
01:31:41
because I'm like, I think I could do it but I'm like, oh, I haven't tasted that anymore I'm pretty sure if you're going to save the world, he can't be frustrated he can't have a fucking blue ball he's got to be happy that's fair I bet he'd be a quick finisher because he had a lot of pent-up aggression. He's on dialysis. No, he had like 27 wives or something, so he was probably getting it all the time. Yeah, he probably was. Oh, so maybe it would be a long finish. Yeah, it was probably like dust. Like, dust came. Which would be the best. I'll take the dust way over anything else. We talked about that because we've all had vasectomies, so I'm like, that's what I say.
01:32:13
I'm like, it's like LeBron before a game. Just dust when I get off. So I was just like, everyone's like, we got a party tree because this sucks. Don't shame me. All right, so what is your... Now, I want to say this because it's a gut feeling. Do you want the triple X one? Well, I have one that is my worst one ever. I've never asked on here, and I'd be so funny if it was that. That would be funny if it was the same one. I'll write it down. I'm going to write it down just in case, okay? Okay. Perfect. O's the mentalist over here. She told this at a party at my fucking house to everybody on the panel.
01:32:47
Everybody hated me. Our friend Jeremy was like, the fuck is wrong? but it opens up a whole lot of conversation okay okay i'm gonna laugh so hard i will allow her to do this one on rock one way yeah okay so would you rather suck your dad to completion once a year for the rest of the of your life or kiss the tip of his dick every morning okay i want to say it's close it's not the exact same one okay i don't know my dad so this is pretty easy i really do i really do want to say what the fuck is wrong with you that's how i fucking feel oh you're gonna hate mine you have to choose you have to choose that's one good thing about my dad being gone is that i don't have to either one of these anymore you don't have to answer yeah he's alive he's alive you know what i mean maybe it's ghost dick you know right patrick's way he's air dicking all over the place you're making a pot together whoopi goldberg's right there yeah yeah that just made it worse right this already feels like a second episode we're not in a hurry i need more bourbon okay
01:34:17
come on sean oh i i mean i think i know my answer say it again one more time wait but say you have to suck your dad to completion good god like every year every year once a year oh wait i thought it was once no once a year every year you have to suck him to completion i'll give you a little or we'll call it just a little yeah i can do a little it's just a peck right just gotta kiss the tip of his dick every morning i know that 365 days i mean every fucking day for the rest of your life so like i wake up next to ashley she's like where are you going i'm like i gotta go if it's to completion is he gonna warn me or does he finish in my mouth oh you're taking it like i don't know but i'm kissing it every morning i can't do that i i feel like i can't walk back from the completion one the rest i can i can drink enough to be like that didn't happen right you know right every day eric all right it was easy for me kiss kiss he wouldn't even do it to save lives he already he's like he's like let america burn man it was one of those where i i can't wrap my head around that because i'm like because he's like why would you just come i'm like that's not the fucking question yeah but that's not the question right yeah yeah that's the thing with would you rather it's like our our crew we play would you rather a lot yes um for halloween i got a game called pick your poison highly recommend it's very much like a like a card game type yeah but it's i mean it's like just terrible terrible
01:35:49
things and you gotta pick write that down like we need that for that sounds like a friend's giving it's a great one okay um my cousin was he said that he would suck his dad to completion that was his first answer and i was like think about it what if he takes a while what if he's like I've been waiting all year for this you got a pretty man it's like scary movie he just shoots you to the fucking so backed up right I don't even know my What the fuck is wrong with you?
01:36:32
We don't talk about trauma here, Shaun. That's a whole episode on Deck Diaries right there about your answers. God damn. Okay, so what's yours? That was so close. All right. So the thing for this is it works mostly for guys. Okay. But it's kind of the same thing. I mean, we could switch positions. Okay. Can we? So I'm going to talk to Shaun. Oh, yeah. I love missionary, but only for so long. brianna's used to it yeah so hold on you can't do that brianna has i haven't seen her in a while so i have some googling to do okay so you're i'm talking to sean to make it more personal but it's for you too but just so i can look you in the eyes while i say this okay you're rock hard and in front of you bent over is your mom behind you is your dad rock hard and you have to thrust one way you have to go into your head you have to pick one oh my god this is such a good one have you have you ever you guys can you can off like why do i have to answer both i already told him i wasn't answering it you have to you have to look me in the eyes while you say it and then say and then say what a lovely tea party five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact go Is it just a one thrust in the one direction?
01:37:56
I'll give you that. One thrust. But I mean, a hard thrust. You know, all the way. So either it's your dad and your ass or you and your mom. Please. I want you to know, Shaun, this has been in my book and I was never going to ask it on here. Such a good one. Blame them. Blame them. That is a good one. I was never. Like, I've told you guys I have one. I'm not going to ask.
01:38:18
It's just horrible at all times. Well, for us, it would be different because dad could go in either hole. Yeah. Oh, that sounds so bad. So then you have to pick which hole dad goes into. That's true. If you want to. Well, you can only go in one of mine. Or what your face goes into. Or what your face goes into for girls. True. I'm just saying I know I would go backwards because, again, I don't know my dad. I'd be like, I can just do that and never see him again. Oh, my gosh. My dad was my hero. now he's really weird now I can be your hero I didn't hear me that way you're so much weirder now fuck you my parents were great but I'm like I would never violate my mother like what the fuck I honestly think I'd take it myself just so I don't like I just back into it just so like I don't like I will just handle it and be traumatized forever I think that's the right answer if dad was singing hero by enrique i can be your hero i can kiss away your pain that would be easier because i'd be like go fuckers fine then like you're like you're paying my tabs for the rest of this right you owe me and then some just know when you look at me i didn't want to ask it it's all yeah i'm just saying you're welcome A man behind the box, Erik.
01:39:45
So now that he said this, I think I would get in the same. But I would look back and I would be like, really? That's what you got? It's a little soft or something. He would take his power back. Dude, that's... You hate shit. No wonder mom's pissed off all the time. You hate shit. Get back in the basement. You're embarrassing.
01:40:08
Holy shit. You are terrifying. I had a second to think about that. That's badass. That's a badass answer. Nothing like my dildo I sit on all the time.
01:40:23
Erik scares me a little bit. Oh, my gosh. Well, on that note, give us a fun old joke. All right, I got a joke for you. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Note to self, don't tell the kids to listen to this one. I have a headache from laughing. okay do we want to give mike a second to try and get this one or no just oh my god just do it the nesper sign the other day and i nailed it and she was like you are good at it i know tell them i'm good at it i'm really good at getting these dad jokes and i'm like striking out lately it's pissing me off this one's not a dad joke it's more of a dirty joke that no just say it you'll probably get it this is right up your alley have you heard of the bisexual whale No.
01:41:09
Maybe, Dick. Oh, my gosh. I wouldn't have got that in the million years. My mind went to blowhole. Well, this has been fantastic. You guys would be welcome here anytime. I can't believe how fun this has been. We talked. We knew this was going to happen. But I was like, man, this outkicked all expectations. You guys are amazing. We legit love your podcast Not just because our wives and girlfriends do We like it And keep going because like you said It's so fucking important and it's not talked about enough So what day does it come out? The first and third Wednesday of every month First and third Wednesday of every month And it's Deck Diaries It's a great listen for real And I follow you guys on all the socials And I'm pretty sure it's Deck Diaries on everything From that I've seen We're a little weak on our socials You're out there You guys probably have more followers and stuff than us but you know what's funny about this and this is why I love the whole local podcast working together I had a friend say something to me about oh hey you should watch this movie one it's called Confused Breakfast and that week we were having Mike on yeah he's going to be on, surprise Mike's great so for real it was obviously tons of laughs so it was a ton of fun here and i almost promised that next time i'll have a cocktail so yeah yeah yeah that's that's the carrot we're gonna dangle to get you back here is that we'll we'll have a cocktail here for it but
01:42:42
um but yeah you guys need to come on ours absolutely love to we will do it in a heartbeat yeah but um with that being said you can check us out on we're so cool pot or we're so cool yeah we're still cool right on everything obviously uh we love emails the most we're still cool right at gmail.com and uh yeah one last time obviously you guys are so because you know what now you're making me sort of believe it thank you guys for listening so much we'll see you next week yeah love it see you guys bye