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Ep. 29Sep 3, 20251:23:16

From the Vault: The Notebook!

This week's episode is from our vault of previously recorded episodes that we keep for when a weekend gets just a little too fun to record on Monday!

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This week's episode is from our vault of previously recorded episodes that we keep for when a weekend gets just a little too fun to record on Monday!

This episode we dive into Mikey's notebook and discuss the topics that he writes down so our 40 year olds brains can remember that one thing we talked about that one night at the bar.

Transcript

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Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

Oh, I'm gonna butter your bread.

Jesus. I just blew out like I was smoking a cigar or something. It's still there. You got a freshie there. So I got a happy birthday balloon recently, and then we decided, well, there's no reason to let it go to waste.

That's what we're stopping on. Ah, someone playing my third leg. We got a double intro. You want to hear something that's always cool? Sucking on fucking helium. It's always cool. It's a hit every time. Until you get about three balloons deep, and you're like, I feel a little woozy here.

How deep did you go? I'm starting to feel a little woozy. Oh, my mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me. Name the movie. No shit, dude. That's actually my all-time favorite. You got Erik? I don't know. Erik, you don't have it? Really? Scream. Yeah, it was Skeet Ulrich. Or no, that was the boyfriend. It's Matthew Lillard that says that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. When they stab each other at the end. How deep did you go, man? I'm starting to get a little woozy here. I do. But really, I'm losing a lot of blood. Which he's actually hilarious. He's so funny. And the line, my mom and dad are going to be somebody, he improv that.

Really? Yeah. Which makes it even funnier. That's good. And now he's like kind of making a comeback. So my kids were, used to be really into Five Nights at Freddy's. It's like a whole animatronic horror thing. All right. And he, they finally did their first movie and he was like the main villain. All right. So it's pretty cool. I'm like, oh, they're watching like the guy I watched growing up. Yeah. You know? so well um hey welcome back welcome back welcome back welcome back welcome back so um clearly had a little fun with the birthday balloon i'm very easily amused for anyone who doesn't know me and uh if you have been listening for a while you know that's what you can expect around here is a bunch of dumb shit but if you're new that is the first time you can expect this is the first time we've gone helium so you never know uh you don't have it all figured out yet but it was a heck of an intro but for those of you guys uh again you've been around listening to us we we appreciate it we love it thank you crack your drink um and join along with us and and if you're new welcome yeah and like they say i heard welcome to the party pal welcome to the party um this is the we're still cool right podcast damn right and i am sean and i am mike and i am eric and that's the crew yep so we're here for another one and uh this is going to be a little bit of a unique one this is a fun one so this is um so i think this is our first time where we came up with the title before while we're getting ready to record the episode right yeah normally it's me

like making shit up afterwards which is great because it's like i mean it's it makes sense to name it after it because it's like what did we all talk about because we we've all found out our listeners too we can say what we're going to talk about that's not what's going to actually happen remember the movie one we had that turned into stand-up comedy for 40 50 straight minutes sure it was great yeah it was a good one but i will say love that one the topic for today's or our title is the notebook oh sounds so sexy did we just get notebooked yeah isn't that a thing did you just get no mike mike's got a notebook in front of him show show him your notebook this is my notebook it says um what's the cover it says be a nice human nice yeah because i stole it from my daughter uh she i like it well it was one she didn't use she got for school didn't use it it's got the mango mustache media stickers on it and i just i'm notorious for i just write shit down i just if i find something funny my my memory is terrible it's really bad you'll hear the guys say constantly how i'm like have i said this have i said that so i just figure if i write everything down at least i know there's a chance of it being said well and here's what i know i know you did say it i just never know if the camera was four pointed at us in a microphone in front of our face or if it was just something you already told us so yeah or did yeah did we say it at in the pool on a weekend or did we say it on the podcast so what's going to be a blast is his thoughts we're going to get an inner look at the man here we're going to see where what happens when you're

just alone and you have these thoughts come in your head and need to write some putting a lot of pressure on me right now i'm excited because his topics he's already thrown out there a few times have or just some of them have been pretty good so it's just random yeah some of them will be some of them be short-lived short conversations some might be a little bit longer but i think before jumping to that we should get into eric's drink yep i got another i got pretty sure eric just fucking hates us is really what it boils down to and again i'm going to set the scene a little bit. So, you know, I'm a notebook style. Yeah. Everyone take your pants off and cozy up. So Erik said he had a drink. I said, Hey, I'm going to get some stuff. Is there anything you need?

And he said, Hey, can someone bring hot sauce? And I said, fuck you Erik. Cause I know it's not cause he's grilling for us. So whatever we're drinking, I'm going to guess has hot sauce in it. So, Oh shit. I didn't even tell this one will warm the cockles of your heart. Tum cockles. Did anybody bring any Tums? I'm old. I'm the oldest guy. Or a defibrillator. It's fucking floating. There's floaties in here. There's floaties. There's floaties. Okay. Can we see this? There's floaties. Oh, no. Ew, there's a huge wad of it at the bottom. Why is it so much? Stop looking at it and drink it. God damn. Oh, god damn.

I'm going to tell you what it is for. No. Before I do that, I brought two hot sauces. Did you just use the same one on all three? Yeah, I did. You didn't use the super hot one? I taste tested the hot sauces. My lips are still tingling from the one that you suggested. In my defense, I said just do that in mine because I like that. I think it was a little too much for the drink. Okay. Consistency and heat. Just to be clear, as I look in this drink, I just started sweating. I just looked at it and started sweating. By the end of this, we drink this, put the camera on me, and there's water rushing off me.

airplane. That's what's going to be happening. I say we just drink it and then he tells us what it was. Yeah. I don't want to have any clue and tell. Again, I'm going to let you guys go first. I'm going to watch. That way there's not dead signs. I also like to see your faces to know what I'm in for. That's where I say I'm not going to take it, but I'm going to because I hate myself.

Shaun's face is not good. Here we go. It's not bad. I like it. God damn it, man. I think you guys are just pussies. No. Dude, I eat hot.

So the guy, he's like, oh, it's not bad. It's like a spicy margarita for like people that can't afford margaritas. Seriously. Guys, I'm sweating. Like it seriously is.

Oh, God. That's not nice. You're being a bad friend. Guess who gets to not bring the drinks anymore. Jeez. Mission accomplished. Well, we made it to five good ones in a row and now it's two shit bags in a row. You know what I... I didn't think it was that bad. No, here's the thing, and we've talked, again, not through the crap. Your cup is still stained. Yeah, look. It looks like I had a fucking thick Bloody Mary. That's disgusting. That's what it's supposed to be like. It's like a spicy, bloody... Well, it was like a kick to the dick and not... Yeah. All right. Give us a rundown. Okay, so it's vodka, Sprite.

Those are fine. Tabasco. Fuck you. It wasn't Tabasco, though, because I brought Louisiana hot sauce. He did do some different hot sauce, and I agree. So the reason I went with this one over the habanero one you had is this one had a little more of the Tabasco-y kind of vinegary little bit. And I think that's what they intended to be. It is. I hate Tabasco. I love hot sauce. and and i don't even i mean i eat pretty hot stuff but i have many friends who eat way hotter stuff than i do i don't like the vinegary ones yeah like sriracha is my favorite thing in the world tabasco to me like i i'm sure there's people that love it and they'll argue with me oh there is there's so many way better hot sauces out there yeah crystal louisiana okay but you could tecos are awesome but they were one of the first to be in the market you know i mean so it's like it's easy to hate on them now right it's always like oh of course because you know i just will always be a non like i just don't like the vinegar based ones so anything that's like that i'm never gonna i'm never so you're you wouldn't be big is that like louisiana barbecues or like what is the because like kansas city has barbecue texas is big for it yeah and somebody else is like what their sauce and what their sauce is like one of them one of them's a very vinegar one is that like memphis or i don't i don't know i don't think it's well the funny thing is the one i brought is louisiana and it's still vinegar based but i it's a little bit better than to me than tabasco but again i prefer none of those say that's more barbecue sauce and hot sauce yeah but still do you

i made me made me i know like i know the approach is different like some is a vinegar base and some like i will drink i'll you could pour me a shot of sriracha sauce and i'll just down it like i i just love the flavor that's i put it literally on everything i got the drink forward no yeah i I got the drink next week. See how tough he is. Don't fucking do it. If it's got sriracha, I'm what? Just a shot of sriracha? I'll do it. You just fucking said you did it. I'll do it. I did it during COVID. I'll do it. I'll show you. I'll do it. I've seen it. Remember when, so there was this time period where sriracha was like not, you couldn't find it.

They were like, I can't remember what it was. They got fined or something, but they shut down or like something. And it was really hard to find. And then there was worries that like you weren't going to be able to find it for a couple of years because they had to relocate or something i think it was like they were putting out too much bad smell in the neighborhood or something because it's thick it was something like that a few years man i bet that would be terrible to live by that smell i bet it's pretty potent so they they had to add in like millions of dollars of equipment to like filter it even more yeah so but anyway thank god it stuck around because it is my favorite but i when i finally found it's always yeah and shout out adam adam got me into it when we were like fuck i think i was 16 we always went to aggro house and they always had it and putting that shit on a crab rangoon or an aggro oh my god i was just about to say i thought i was from a chinese restaurant where yep where you had it so and that was it like and i didn't know the aggro house yeah oh i love it shout out to sue at aggro house she's been there the whole time she's still like me i still remember my order if i walked in i haven't been i haven't been in there in two years i bet she would still because i have two of them that i'll do so she'll ask each one and then really if i'm like no then she's like oh like i like uh beef red rice okay or i like the empress chicken yeah you know and i'll do so i'll do just depends and she always guess and most times i'm like yeah let's do that yep or kung pao extra spicy but yeah she still remembers like adam and i go in there and we've been going in there again for holy shit that's weird to think about i think i first went there i was 16 damn in a few years it'll be 30 years i've been going there shout out

too. That's a little bit of a weird thing. You guys grew up here, right? Yeah. And everyone that I know that grew up here is like a grow house is fucking awesome. Even people that have moved away, they come back, they specifically have to go to lunch there or whatever. They always have to. I think it's great, but it's not below my mind to me. It may be a nostalgia. Maybe it's a nostalgia thing. But I'm just curious if you guys think that. Have you found another place you're like, oh, this is better or worse? So I will say for me it was probably the first one that i had you know i mean like really and they used to have the most kick-ass lunch special ever it was so cheap they still do i mean it's i mean it's yeah but it's still cheap compared to everything else but like it used to be it was like five bucks right it was like i want to say like back and back in the day when we were young young it was like 6.95 i mean and it was i think it was even less it might i think when i first started it was like five bucks and it was like you had two and it was a lot of trades and and it was like so that remember first time i had i'm like this is amazing and a roll and a crab ring yeah it was so good and then well i mean so that so to me yeah i could see where i had better or you know i mean like that sort of thing where it's been there but they are just consistent it's a fastball every time you get this if you order it it comes out the same it's so good it's same time to make it yeah the same thing same every time and then she knows your your name when you walk in and your order it is like you know what i'll take a picture of this she so i want to say i was like 17 uh i've always i've always loved mountain dew i switched to diet

when i was very young but i still just loved i always drank diet mountain dew and i was like like daily you would be that was like my energy you would go to casey's oh yeah every morning like when i was young i didn't drink coffee so like that was it right i still drink diet mountain dew but now it's went on to coffee and energy drinks but anyway so i made a comment because she had all these cans that were in like korean and like you know different you know from other places and i like was always looking like god that's so cool and she like looked up and she goes you're always staring at that and i was like i just think that's it's such a cool looking can because theirs are like eight ounces they're skinny like and it's obviously in korean or whatever yeah and she goes do you want it and i was like no i don't need it i just like looking at it whatever she gave it to to me and made me take it i still have it to this day so that's awesome yeah she just she's a great great person i will say like i do think that there's something to that as well like even if you go to a bar and they know your name or they know your drink as soon as you walk in shit like that no matter what well there's a big like i will be loyal to that place just because of that even if like the only fucking thing they have is vodka lemonades and bush lights that's great I want everyone to remember that he just said you know when a bar knows your name I'm going to come back to that that's one of his thoughts I should have set that up dude I looked to you and was like you just made me so hard buddy look at that fucking segue that being said to your comment about how many people from around here say that you have to have a girl house how many of them are going to say

she knows my order yeah probably it's not just you and I and Adam she just remembers but it's like she's like i have a buddy that lives in north carolina and i swear to god he goes in there when he comes back here and she knows if you went there that much she remembers she knows and it's so i'm sure there's plenty of people here knowing their order and knows that you could walk in right now and i and i guarantee sometime in the last 30 years there was like some period i didn't go in there for a year you know what i mean no i was i was gone for a long time like yeah like i i worked in i was city and so i was i would every now and get down there for lunch yeah because i always had it for lunch it was just never the weird thing is when so like if i go in there and just order it because i still like doing that because it's like nice to hear and you and then you're right it is always a test like she can remember yeah and she does but there's like a million boxes like yeah there's been times with me and multiple people if you call in it's she'll if once she hears the order then she puts it to the the name she's like mike or like you know whatever and you're like yeah and she's like i thought so i'm like thank you so much you know she's the best she's the best it is something we said about it so to your comment earlier is it the world's greatest no there's probably better but is it when you come down to her and it's consistent and it is a i didn't mean to come back to that so there's lots of places so i i loved yanching back in the day when it was uh like downtown and it was great and even now uh like uh sushi house like i really like their actual chinese food i mean their sushi is great

too but but also you're looking at the amount and the price versus it's like i was gonna say like like for 20 i really hope i love it you know what i mean yeah it should be good food you're paying it should be and then it is it's really good food and while even a lunch special now you know i don't know 12 13 it's like it's but it's still solid every time yeah i think there's just something about getting something and it always being the same yeah i want it like i remembered it yeah it's always the same you know that's why you don't mess with they got the crunchy egg rolls dude the hand roll those the spring rolls oh my god so funny story so it sounds like we are going to be making a trip to go see sue sounds like we need to have lunch there yeah for sure okay so i'm down This is a weird segue, and this is not in the book, but I can tell the story because It's not in the book, folks.

Karen and I don't fight, but we had this one little fight once in Davenport because we went out. And you guys had been together for how long? A year and a half, I think. Yeah, I mean about, yeah. When the fight happened? Oh, no, no, no, no. No, I was saying when the fight happened. There's gonna be a new fight because you didn't know that. Right. We can cut this out, right? You misunderstood the question. I did I did misunderstand the question lead me Shaun At that point the witness argument happened and it's only funny because this argument was then explained to the whole friend group And it was like we like it was like game footage. We broke this down like okay And all the women take her side I'm like you don't understand you haven't heard the whole story No, but it was just it was not like a real fight, but it's just like we don't fight like that So it was funny so we were out and down important. There's this place called and And everyone's gonna Jody screaming right now because I can't remember the name of it. Hi Jody, but they're notorious Oh, I think it's called the office. So they're known for egg rolls So you go in it's a bar like an American bar You go you walk straight back to the kitchen you order at the window and they have like 30 kinds of eggs I was gonna say it's not just that they have one egg roll and they do it. Well They got Yeah, yeah Honestly, I think they do dessert ones. It was like there's a peanut butter and jelly egg roll you're like what the fuck so anyway love it love the idea but it's a great idea because it's quick easy to make drunk perfect for going out when it's like in and out a couple of these things down like halfway through the night we're good to go yeah i'm a huge fan of a like well-made southwest egg

roll okay all the time shout out third base uh yeah that's my go-to now you know where my favorite one ever was and look at the add4 already fucking lost i know i'll be back i'll be back his story And it just jumped off a cliff. My favorite Southwest A-girl ever was Bennigan's because they had a pineapple salsa. It wasn't even like salsa. It was like just a pineapple like chutney almost. Oh my God. Are you in my brain? Jesus Christ. Pineapple chutney. We are totally blowing each other. I don't even know how I knew that fucking name. I think I've heard that word once. I know. It's just like MasterChef came out.

It's got to be from a movie. Yeah. But dude, it was the best stuff ever. Like that dipped in that was amazing. and that's now why i'm obsessed with southwest regals i just had another stroke that's not what i'm gonna say southwest egg rolls but that came out shush guys it's been a long week it's broken out a few times here uh this is two episodes it was hot this weekend i had a birthday like you know recently it's fine so anyway back to the egg roll thing we order all these egg rolls she's starving i'm starving we get like an order of like three just normal ones i don't know chicken or pork or whatever and then we order like one of 11 other kinds we have so many egg rolls they're coming out of our ears so we each have that sounds like the best it was great so we each have a pork one and she goes do not touch any of these i'll be right back and i was like yeah like okay but she's gone for a bit and i'm like i'm hungry so what did i do i thought i was being nice i just ate the other pork one i'm like she can have everything else she's already had a pork one it's not like i right now she's gonna be so mad like i can't believe they're only getting your side not mine so anyway this feels a little bit like the ross and rachel they're on a breaker they weren't kind of this is like the fight that will go on for her it doesn't happen everyone and it's not that i knew it yeah so anyway she comes out she's like where's the pork a roll i was like oh it in my belly and she like are you i told you not to eat it and i was like we have 13 more You can have all of them I don even care I just wanted that one real bad I was starving Like and then so it was this whole thing that blew up into this funny thing But yeah so for her uh we threw her a birthday

and I ordered her, uh, 40 of the spring rolls from a row house for her party. Nice. I was like, look, these are the best egg rolls. And she's like, are you going to have any go? Not in front of you. I'm not. How'd she like them? Oh, she loved them. Yeah. It is still funny. They're so guys you got a picture of this we'll be together and also it'll be like like the egg roll fight someone will bring up and she'll be like yes like let's talk like it is it is still very and it really is if you can picture anything it is the they're on number it's a ross and rachel they're on a break type thing it just comes up to the point to where we love to bring it up i think i'm right she'll die that she's right and we'll just die and there were no other pork egg rolls there was three so i ate one she ate one then she went to the bat and said don't eat any more egg rolls no okay and then i thought well i'm gonna i'm starving like she's in there for a bit like maybe she's talking this one i don't know but i'm starving i'm just gonna eat the other pork one because she's had a pork one what were the other egg rolls oh my god dude so like we had probably 10 other kinds one of each and i so i didn't eat anything that she hadn't had i made that a point i was like you've had pork i've had pork i'm gonna eat the other pork i'm not gonna touch the philly i'm not gonna touch the pizza one i got whatever like all instructions unclear don't touch the pork egg roll like i'm gonna eat fucking egg rolls while you're well she went with a blanket statement of like do not eat any egg rolls while i'm gone and i'm like my belly says i can't do that so i had one more i said no yeah you missed the you missed

the total i mean you guys were together like not very long yeah so really you should have just turned around been like what were you doing pooping in there because she took forever so So then you'd have been like, well, it's okay. But hold on. Here's the funny part. Like Mike had been drinking. It could have been two minutes. And I was like, no, I'm hungry. You know those videos where they're like, I'm going to record me pretending to sleep and I'm going to put cheese in my hand and see how long the dog will eat it. And the dog makes it like 10 seconds. But to the dog, he's like, you were in there for, you were asleep for two hours.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's how I was. So I'll own that part. All right. But would it have been the same discussion if you just ate one of the other egg rolls, any other egg roll? Oh, it would have been worse because then she wouldn't have gotten to try that one, even though she's probably had maybe you should have just had half unacceptable. That would have been the move. I agree with Erik. I can't do that. If I'm eating something, I'm going to eat it. I go harder. I don't go at all. Yeah. Go hard to paint. If you got to reserve it, then pull it to your plate. That's fine. Cool. Exactly. When we're sharing and understandable that she didn't want to take the egg rolls to the bathroom.

I didn't want her to do that. Well, you guys disgusting. I know you guys be the last. Would you take the last egg roll? No. if you had a group of people yeah a group yeah if it was four people sitting at a table and there's one egg girl left depends depends on how long it's been sitting there well no it depends on how well i know everybody if if like i'm just meeting a couple no i'm gonna leave it for them yeah well if i'm always like if if it was if it's you fuckers i'm scarfing it's like that we order and four come out right and so we all got one and there's this one sitting here yeah i'm not gonna be the first one to read for it but if it goes too long be like you fuckers had your chance i always agree anybody want this if not i'm taking it yeah like because i'm like i have no problem taking the last but that's the way to do it you're setting expectations like it if this doesn't happen this is happening but let's be real if it was us we would just like lady in the trumpet oh yeah yeah oh yeah we'll meet in the middle baby let's go while you guys are doing that i'll just bite out of the middle oh my gosh like mike's burrito Fuck me. Oh, I thought maybe you forgot about that. Where were we at? I will never forget about Nick's. Oh, that's barn girl. You know, have you ever had just an intrusive thought when like you look at something? So we were like out to breakfast and I had a, I got a breakfast burrito and I went to take a bite of it, but I realized like everybody just happened to be looking over.

I just fucking flip that bitch to the side and ate right out of the middle. Dude, all the color left everybody's face. And they're like, why would you do that? Yeah. You literally did the same thing. It sounds like it is painful. It was sacrilege. It was bad. I hope it ripped open and then dumped all over you. It didn't. The gods paid me a visit because it went beautifully. It tasted great. Nothing spilled. They looked pissed. It couldn't have went better. Good for you. I think I let out an audible gasp. What the fuck are you doing here? Erik goes, oh, why?

Have you seen those videos where people cut cake and this horrible thing? you're like what are you fucking doing you come out to a sheet of brownies and there's just the middle is missing and you're like what the yeah yeah that's exactly what it was so i forgot about that yeah i will never forget and again i don't i don't ever do that but it was just the devil on my shoulder took over oh my god i don't know where i heard this now but you just brought like i'm like deja vu somebody i don't remember where this is from some same sort of thing like can i try a bite of your you know whatever like and they're like he's like yeah you have the first one because whatever then when i get going i don't want to do it and the guy fucking picked it up and ate it out of the middle like so like it's my burrito i want to give you a bite i'm like go ahead and have the first one i'm expecting to cut off the corner yeah and picked it up and took it right out of the middle and it came out like that the person was like i fucking went and ordered another burrito like it was it was still one bite but it was it was just ruined yeah it'd be like that's funny you're paying for it you know what i mean like that's yours but it's still like the okay that's pretty fucking funny that reminds me of those videos where like the you know they're doing the instagram i'm taking a bite of this whatever and then the husband just like fucks it up oh i love those oh i love those but i love it when the wife just goes fuck you and smashes their sandwich like yeah smashes the whole plate like i don't i don't care if it's the wife or the husband when someone goes to take like a oh this is going on instagram because this food's so pretty and

then the boyfriend or girlfriend just smashes it when they're taking the photo i'm like yes yeah yes yes well i've seen that also too then like you ask for a bite can i try a little bite and then just house like it like it's like guys like they ask her like can i just try it and of course like actually loves to share food with me you know i mean she's like we can share blah blah and so i'm like can I have a bite of that she'd be like sure and I just like like there's pictures like babe like you took the whole taco so the way they went white when I did that is the way she looks at you like what is wrong with you why exactly see so we all have an aggro fight you know what I mean it's just different circumstances you know food sometimes you have Joey doesn't share food some people don't you know I'm kind of the fat kid that doesn't like it you know like I don't I mean I generally go to a place where I'm like I order what I know is going to fill me up.

I got a plan. Your plan isn't going to fit with my plan. Or if you think you're going to eat more and then I'm going to be left unsatisfied. Or when they go... You can have a bite of mine. You're like, I don't want a bite of yours. That's why I ordered this. Yours sucks.

Ashley always gives me shit. Why do you always order that? I go, because it's fucking good every time. and i go when we go to places three times out of ten you're like it really wasn't that good no yeah like perfect i actually i actually remember a story about this i already brought up bennegan's for those appetizers but of one time one time going there when back in the day i went to order something new i was like i was being given shit and i was like fine i'll try something new and it was fucking atrocious and i'll never forget it because it was dog shit like it was just and it was expensive and i was like this sucks i will and ever since then i've been i'm now i don't do like every breakfast it was like uh some it was a chicken dish but it was almost like a like a full chicken leg with the thigh and everything over like a bed of rice when they were supposed to have the sauce but like the chicken was cooked funny and actually wasn't a lot of food because the chicken was cooked funny it was other and there was like rice and i was like this double what i normally get and it sucked and i thought you were gonna say it was the monte cristo because that's what i knew from bennegan's dude monte cristo not good for diabetes but god damn it's good for the the soul holy shit but you look at that shit on the menu and you're like what the don't look at the calories just eat it it's so dude i it sounded atrocious the first time i heard about it yeah and then you try a bite and you're like god damn it oh that's delicious yeah i will i don't need dessert i will say as i get older i do my palate has changed and i give ashley shit but she's probably been the one that helped change your palate some things that are like oh this is really fucking good yeah oh i guess i can't eat vegetables yeah holy cow vegetables don't suck at all like it's yeah

no same yeah like i was never that big into mushrooms till the last like year like i was i liked them but i didn't love them i love them yeah i dude a mushroom swiss burger are you kidding are you kidding me yep exactly or like just anything like so breakfast i always get a breakfast burrito or i get a skillet everywhere i go that's all i ever get yeah won't change but if I get one and it doesn't have that I'm like add jalapeno throw it on there whatever kind it is throw those on there but that's the best thing that's the best thing of the Blackstone oh yeah because you got those things burnt you can make yourself one of the best ever dude fillies on there toast up the mushrooms the onions and the you're making me hungry green peppers, onions me too Which makes me think of the onion smash burger at the bar.

So now I'm starving. Here we go. Anyway, okay. Back to the notebook. Sorry, we haven't even gotten into the notebook yet. I don't know what we're at, but we didn't even get into it. All right, Mike, what's been on your mind over these last six months? I mean, it's just random shit. So this happened like months ago. But do you talk in your sleep? I don't know. I'm sleeping. I don't All right to the non dickhead We phone a friend hey Aaron does a dickhead talk to sleep That's all we have to do is address it as dickhead I'm so mad at you that that was such a good answer You're getting a bonus dad joke now Great I don't I've never really been told that you know That's it's been one you know random I used to talk a lot in my sleep and then as I got older like it's just kind of went away now like like every now and then I'll hear like, oh, you want like, like, I, there's something coming out, but we don't know. Kara one night was laying in bed and she was just like, but she was flailing.

And I was like, Hey, you're waking me up. What the fuck? You're right. And I'm like looking over, like, is everything okay? And all of a sudden it turns to like straight, like panic, like, like whimpering, like, like, I mean, I imagined a demon was eating her toes first. I'm like, What the fuck right and so I like grab her like are you okay? What's going on? I wake up she goes huh and she looks at me she goes oh No, I'm fine and where she rolls over goes bad. I go. What the fuck was that? Well now I'm not so you need to explain so I'm up for like two more hours I fall asleep she wakes up 30 minutes later and she goes I had the craziest dream I go Because I'm pretty sure I know when it happened and she said that like yeah There was like something at the end of the bed was grabbing her and like just like I thought like pulling her into it but I wasn't in the bed and she couldn't move.

She was like paralyzed. And I go, well, funny because you went back to bed like it wasn't no big deal at all. And she goes, well, that's not how you remember it. I go, I can promise you that's exactly what happened. I'm like, I stayed up for two hours because you scared the fuck out of me. Oh, I know that's how it happened. You see panic like that in a movie. Like I was like, something's wrong. She was fine. So the next day she's like, was it bad? I'm like, yeah, it was. I'm tired. I'm taking a nap now. We had a few of those. kids have them. I don't know that it is. Well, Sophie used to get like night terrors.

Yeah, that's what I thought of. That sort of thing, but there was one, there's two that happened when Ashley was pregnant. One, she was, you know, sleeping and she would sleep with her hands up and somehow put your hand up like this. Somehow in the middle of the night, I just reach up and go like this. Like literally I had a dream she was falling and I reached and grabbed her wrist and she's like, what the fuck are you doing? you know like because i wake her up out of a dead sleep and you just and i'm like man of the house well i'm like i just saved you and i'm like we're in our fucking bed but like i had a dream she was falling and i reach up and i just snatch her her wrist and it was like it was but you know i mean because i scared the shit out of her oh yeah and she's and i'm like in my head i'm like what you have to understand and saved you and that's what people forget but they do know it's so real when it's happening i'm asleep so i don't know how i saw her i don't know how i grabbed her hand that smooth like i just made you put it up there and grabbed your hand smooth right like but i could see it i have no idea that's why i feel like there's something to that yeah how i did i have no idea the other one was there was a time when ashley jumped up and yelled when she was pregnant i jumped i flew out of bed hit the light switch like what's going on like we're ready to go she's like it was like a fluid motion like yeah from a sleep to up and she goes somehow you landed and hit the light switch and you're like ready to go and i'm like yep just in my underwear like what do we got what's going on what's going on and she's like laughing at me like the fuck did you do that

like sean was ready to be like you will rue the day yeah i was like i was ready to go i was like protecting protecting my family yeah that's that's the thing though like once kids get involved i because everyone knows like moms and i've seen it it's it's real like i never could sleep in i mean or no sorry take the back i was a dead sleeper before having kids and then like moms they're like another level right but after having kids like i can't sleep in like that like if i hear something everyone's like what if the baby cries will they wake up like you'll wake up and now i'm sure it's not everybody but it's most people you know what i mean i think yeah you're just gonna just the instincts kind of take over yeah but yeah i don't know but i i do remember uh when we worked for us cellular which is where i met eric uh when we were like i lived with some buddies and i woke up one time screaming unlimited nights and weekends oh you got me through this so when golden tea came out we were in college and we used to play golden tea all the fucking time like probably the way you played silver strike oh yeah we played it so much that all of us had dreams that we were playing to the point where you'd sit up and like in bed and you'd just be pushing you'd be pushing like this like and it happened to our one roommate and we're like the fuck is wrong with you you know his girlfriend's like he sat up and goes i got it i got it and she's like what are you she's like she's like i had no idea what he's fucking doing and then but it was also like two weeks later it was another fucking roommate doing it i'm like you

guys are fucking nuts no shit fucking happens to me i get up get out of bed and then i turn around on the bed like this and i'm going you know i was gonna i bet i was explaining me like we have no i have no idea sean you just got up turn around and you leaned on the bed and you started going like this and she goes i don't even know what it is i wouldn't know what it is until you and your roommates are always talking about your golden tea dreams and she's like you're fucking playing golden tea on the bed like it just goes to show like we are like just machines you know what i mean like whatever we're used to doing we're in it you know i mean and i know that when i get really into something we've talked about that when i do get into something i get really into all in then that's it that it consumes my thoughts and you know it's god i miss silver strike I don't think I've had like where I got up and did something like I remember like vivid vivid dreams of things you haven't woke up and went to the shower and just like chugged a fake beer that wasn't there like chugged I haven't thrown darts in bed like I can't like think of any of those things like biking none of that stuff oh that'd be great if I start biking hold on I think we know why because you're always into so many things your brain can't settle down on this one yeah i do i do because i go solo focus at at a time i get serious dreams about them but like i wake up and then i kind of remember yeah a bit of it well i mean you got to be i don't i mean because you can have plenty of them there's here's not waking up to

see them yeah i mean if a tree falls in the woods there's no one here you know what i mean you know it's how you have the dream where you do it up until like the last because maybe year erin like she would wake up if i like i had to like tiptoe into the fucking bedroom to go to bed oh yeah she would wake up now she's got some sleep help yeah music oh yeah well no not music yeah by the way actually has the sleep music it's fucking great it's mostly my son has listened to sleep music for like five years now and i picked up right as i said i'm like you hit you melatonin Look at you, you prude. You got a sleep mask and some comfy PJs?

No. It's nursery rhymes. Leave me alone. Now she fucking snores like I do. It's a race to go to sleep first. That's what it is. We should start getting CPAP machines as a sponsor.

Maybe we could get a towel as a sponsor. I'm still sweating from that fucking drink. It was bad. but at least your glasses isn't as coated as mine we'll have to do another after we've only got one thought out of you I know this is a bad time to do this because we're still not going to get to much but I have to say this because there's so many good ones but recently not super recent now but within the last few months Norm from Cheers died R.I.P. buddy because like growing up I was like I want to be Norm one day I'm not saying I want to be drunk in a bar every day, but my point is he just went to the beat of his own drum and it's like he got to go see his buddies.

Everybody loved him. He was always hilarious. Yeah. It was like a. So like he had one true love in his life and he. It was beer. Yeah. Yeah. And I just like I grown up. I watched that show all the time because, you know, when we were young, there wasn't a lot of on. But Cheers was always so bad where my I remember my aunt and uncle got a Cheers board game. and me and my cousins played it and i want to say i was like 13 and like i got like second because i just had seen so many episodes but now i haven't watched it in 20 years or whatever so i just got the greatest idea what so your opener yeah i think for the next five they got to be all norm openers because he did a new one on every show well then i want to save those back well no no no no he had one every no it was the thing his show was every single one he always had he did but some of these are baller and like they just they cracked me up so it just got me thinking like no you're right yeah we could use a few of those in there there's plenty on everybody will appreciate it nobody because nobody our age like didn't think cheers was cool no cheers was and if they thought it was terrible they're probably not our audience so probably if you're wondering if if it's your first time listening and you went well i like this and you go ask yourself i think you're like i also think i struggle at the beginning because normally what i say is like two or three words you know i'm not i'm not usually reading the whole joke it's usually like oh yeah puppy

or like you know some sex noise whatever whatever pops in my head by the way five minutes before the podcast starts i do think cheers is one of those where like you can appreciate it in different ways like some people like could memorize every episode and love every episode all that i'm not one of those people i appreciate it for what it is it's like it's there i there's some great one liners there's great moments i don't need to see every episode agreed some people could watch every single episode and recite them and all that well like those shows where you have to know every storyline you don't have to but i've got to appreciate it for what it is there's a lot of great but i would argue though back when that show came out it wasn't the long-running things There was a few, you know, that he was in love with the one girl, the bartender.

You know what I mean? Like yeah you know like but there really wasn you could miss episodes and still be caught up with it oh yeah it was like now everything is a a long movie right like so they leave you on some sort of hanger you're i ask people about the whole thing like someone will tell me a show and i'm like well do i have to catch up and they're like well yeah i'm like and and i feel like i still have to ask that because there used to be shows where you didn't have to do that cheers is one of those you just turn on and you may have seen the episode you may not like most citizens comes of our The Simpsons were like that.

You'd turn on. Oh, another one. One of my favorite shows, and I feel like it never got the credit it deserved, was Coach. Oh, Coach was the best. So good with Luther and fucking... God damn it, dude. I love that show so much. And Wings. Wings was another one. Wings was a really good one. Anyway, okay. Sorry. Back to Norm. All right, back to Norm. So since I might save some of these bitches, I'm going to just read a couple of them here. But like, you know, just to kind of get us in the swing of it. how's the beer sound norm i don't know i usually finish them before they get the word in this is one of my personal favorites what's shaking norm all four cheeks and a couple chins wait hold on i don't know where your list but i know there's one in my head that i can i just say yeah i already have your list that he walks in he goes what's up norm not sure what's up but i know what's going down no that's not on here hell yeah uh what do you have norm well i'm a gambling man sammy i'll take whatever comes out of that tap looks like it's beer norm call me mr lucky beer norm have i gotten that predictable good uh what you up to norm my ideal weight if i was 11 feet tall I can relate to that so much.

I meant to read that one last because that's like my actual favorite, but yeah, I kind of forgot. And then women can't live with them. Pass the beer nuts. All right. So we know people listening. No cheers. Email us with your favorite Norm quote. Even if it's not Norm. You know you had one. You know you've or just look at him on YouTube again. because there's a whole reels of him now where it's like his after one, after another, and it was so good. Vera was his wife. Yeah. God, it was such a great... So Carla, who was the short little waitress there, she was married to Danny DeVito her whole life.

They might still be married. I can't remember. Yeah? Say something pretty. Yeah. What's up? I'm not sure what's up, but I know what's going down. Reflex there. oh wait did i have one more my favorite was uh hold on i forgot one can i draw you a beer norm no i know what they look like just pour me one damn it that was the one i was gonna say are you serious that's hilarious that's the only one i had left yeah that was yeah i was like how's it going mr peters yeah mr peter yeah oh god what he was on there oh man what a great show what he was there and then uh cliff the male guy well and that's the other thing that i was gonna say that show the beauty of it has had somebody for everybody right you have the norm like whatever it was just yeah the know-it-all cliff yeah i mean like you everybody knows i was just gonna say people's show like then that became like one of the most at which i never watched yeah i actually like i've never watched but it was one of the most popular he was the highest paid person on tv yet for multiple years if i remember right though he was in there at that sweet spot where like a show had kind of just went out and like they were waiting on the next one he kind of scooped in and like did really well for a few years and then but then it did like the like it was a huge yeah like it was him and his brother and then like basically his girlfriend and his dad his dad was his dad was his dad was funny he was i don't remember yeah yeah wasn't it right around the same time as uh what's the um comedian any uh seinfeld seinfeld wasn't it right around that

same sorry i i knows all the else's i don't care for seinfeld but i liked frazier a little bit better but no but i do them like felt like they hit the same spot but yes yeah i i do feel like that but then i was thinking that for some reason frazier was after seinfeld i can't remember but they would have been right in that area then like home improvement so now you got another like comedian you know yeah i loved i loved home improvement i'd still watch that show i it's back on like back on uh what if it's streaming what if eric grows his beard out for halloween we all be al borland oh i'll need a wig but you know what i mean i'll make us fence i don't think so tim and we we did we at at work one year someone came as wilson and they just carried around a mini fence piece all day with the hat and stuff and i was like okay that's pretty awesome i like it yeah all right another topic come on i got more through this notebook a few years here uh favorite foods so and and i know that sounds broad but like growing up my favorite food ever was lasagna like it just was the end all be all and then i realized as i got older i also hate mondays so i'm basically garfield but regardless yeah so why do you like any reason why like i mean do you remember like what about was like yeah like your mom made a great one your aunt no no it was like this so that's what's funny is i don't even remember like that's the thing is i I think I was a pioneer.

I think I saw the beauty in it. My mom's was terrible. And I was like, this could be great, though. And then I had it. And then what's funny is it turned into later, like, being friends with TJ. And his mom makes literally the greatest lasagna of all. And TJ makes it, too, now. I saw the writing on the wall. But it's still my favorite. Like, I fucking love it. Have you had Debbie's? No. Oh. Debbie. So my mother-in-law, Debbie, she makes. It's fucking great. Like to the point to where she always makes, she always makes me or Ben. Well, Ben and I on our birthdays, something that went like Ben likes cookies and she'll make them like, and so she's always like, what do you want?

I'm like, honestly, can I get a lasagna? And she'll make me a lasagna. It's so good. And my birthday falls right around St. Patrick's day after drink. You know what I mean? And so it's like normally she'll have one right for me, like for like we're going to have a lazy Sunday after we went out, you know, maybe after my birthday. Yeah. And so it's already ready. It's delicious. So shout out to Debbie. I know you're I know you listen to and. Well, she does love me a little bit. So I'm going to ask her for one. You're going to have like it's unbelievable. Yeah, it's unbelievable. And she and she says now all the time.

I can't cook anymore. I can't. Yes, you can. Yeah. Your lasagna is. You don't lose it once you got it. It's so damn heavy. like it's that's what i like about it you're like it's not all sauce i think that's my thing is like i i've never been like a huge spaghetti person or an alfredo or like a fettuccino it's like i like pasta but i want the ingredients more than just sauce and noodle okay so then you add a lot of meat you add a lot of yeah i don't care i don't care if it's ricotta or cottage cheese i think they're created equally so they do like a combo it's really good they do it really like Like, Ashley does it really well, too, but her mom, like...

T.J. will make it with, like, spicy pork sausage in it and then add pepper jack to make it a little spicy. Oh, it's so good. Oh, they do it with, like, a spicy sausage and then just, like, a regular hamper, like, kind of... Oh, it's... I will run it up the chain and see if I can get you a lasagna because it is... It is tonight. Like, we have it all the time. Like, it's become now one of the... A staple. One of the holiday get-togethers. We end up doing lasagna, whether it's a christmas whatever it's you know like that ends up it's good enough that that's what we do so it's one of those things where people say what's your favorite food night i usually just go chinese food because there's so many you can pick from it's like i honestly could eat chinese or indian food and never get tired of it because there's so many but if i had to pick one thing it was one thing so can you think of one so it's more of like one dish yes instead instead of a type yeah which i mean my i love pizza i mean i know that's so so okay but if you to pick one kind of one kind of pizza that'd be hard that's hard so um or what about uh what pizza from what place like literally your perfect pizza uh well i gotta i got them from lots of the places like just like one of the big chains the thin crust pizza hut pepperoni pizza well done i keep hearing that i i don't like pepperoni though oh see then you won't like i'm weird because they cover really well they do a great job i i like like i'm like we don't ever have it but every now and then i'm like i just want to have that so bad yeah but the really good i like to i'll

pay for good pizza like i like pizza like i'll pay for zoe's pizza or you know like good you know 30 dollars a large i've never had zoe's and i've heard it's so good we need to do that i know we've never had a podcast right down here so good anyway go ahead but anyways no so like pizza but i guess if i'm gonna pick a dish hold on give me a minute just to think about this what about you let's give him a minute yeah so mine could be like your grandma made you it or whatever it it's tough because like when i think about my favorite foods yes mexican breakfast and kappa kuba yeah i i combo both things even when i make stuff at home i like i want to make breakfast burritos i want to you know all that so that's generally my favorite type of food but if i was to say like one dish um the biggest thing that i remember from my childhood that transitions into adulthood a little bit is tuna casserole and it's so simple but my mom made an amazing tuna casserole and my kids love it aaron can't stand the smell of tuna in the house at all so i just make it whenever she's gone but i make tuna casserole for the kids when hell yeah guess what i'm bringing in i have a you bring in your recipe i'll bring in mine dude i'm so excited because most people go like oh i had so much tuna casserole as a kid i hate it i fucking love tuna casserole ashley go ahead and send your email now yeah i make it like every time she's gone like every time like

she's gonna be out for the kids are like guess i bet we're having tuna noodle casserole aren't we like you're fucking right we're having a tuna noodle casserole are we gonna have a tuna noodle casserole we could have a cat like it is so random but i will i will 100 do it it is so good my mom had a good one and by the way if you weren't sure if we were a midwest podcast now you know now you know so it's casserole time baby this is not for the uh diet friendly people this is for a good hearty we're gonna call this the cheat meal that you're gonna have this is like uh if you're going through a breakup i got the i got that tuna casserole for you know it's not hard to make like no it's a no no lasagna takes some work right yeah yeah yeah the it's and again not hard but time consuming we're we're tuna casserole's not it's like are the noodles like you're good you know what i mean you got the ingredients mix it all up you're good so i get weird though because it's not tuna casserole season once we get in a football season i'll make a tuna casserole like i I just, but I would still eat, like I would generally eat chili, but for whatever that one is, it's like the stick to that.

Yeah. I was going to say, because I'm like, if you can't, if you can eat chili now, then you can eat fucking tuna casserole. I don't know what's wrong with any of it. I can't do it any time. I am the same, but I do respect and understand the people who are like, it's not cold enough yet. Because I, it tastes better when it's cold. I'll still eat it, but it tastes better when it's cold. So as you were saying it, I will do a burger. I mean, I could eat a burger every day. i mean literally i i love it that's my like if i just like on one of those things like truly stuck on an island you get one thing for the rest of your life i could eat a burger all the because you know what you can change up the condiments or you can do it yeah you know what i mean at least but there's a million different ways but it's still just yeah you're good because my kids like i'd be we're at the pool all the time like i or at least we want to be at the pool all the time the best way to do it if we have to go home and make dinner then it way cuts into pool time right let's just grill at the pool right let's just do burgers every night change up the sides it'll be fine like we're we're here to swim not eat you know so it did help me the other day like for your birthday deal yeah like you can take stuff and just heat it up on the grill too oh yeah you because that's exactly what he did with that stuff he brought it in then there's it was already cooked and he just put it on there to do it but don't sleep on brats like i get you that's good stuff too.

I had some good brats the other day. And also people forget you can get, let's say you like the Hy-Vee brats, the kinds they have. You can get brat patties for the people who want it on a bun. Amazing, yeah. You know what I mean? It's just as good. Then you only get one set of buns instead of like, yeah. And you could still add tomato or pickle if you want to. I'd throw cheese on them if you want to, yeah. That's what I mean. I'm a sucker for, I like the pineapple ones and I love the jalapeno ones, which are two totally different things. some people hate the pineapple ones because they think they're too sweet oh we have pineapple that's generally if we get them they used to do apple maple ones that were fucking good yeah we generally have those or then i just like the plane yeah then i'll throw stuff on it but like they do the bush light beer brats those are good see i can do that myself which a lot of times like my brother-in-law ben is he makes brats and then he always has beer just sitting does he do the hot tub yeah so just throws those babies right on it uh i don't know if he even has onions that he'll just pour beer and he has it just sitting on the grill oh tjo then once he grills them then they just sit like if you want one you go pull it out of the tjo was made he called it he called it a hot tub and he would take one of those little nine by nine foil pans pour it full of beer get it piping hot on the grill he'd you know sear them and then or no he would cook them in that first just a bunch of cut up onions and beer that's it and he would cook them in there and then just sear them and then that was it so my dad used to do them that way he would he used to say it gets the farts out of it like if you're in a right you won't get like i feel like it's adding it and i'm like okay

but my yeah my brother-in-law baton he'll like grill them and then he just keeps that pot sitting on there where he has beer in there and then when they're done and you just you just open the grill and pull one right out of the beer where it's just just sitting in it sitting in it yeah okay i like that yeah so then i feel like you're just grabbing a little appetizer well i mean it's already cooked like so you get the because i like uh brought kind of charred you know i mean i like that but then it sits in there and just soaks in the juice so it's not dried out when you pull it out and throw it in yeah i do like that so and then because that's warm it keeps them warm but it's not like like he warms it up and then takes it off the heat you know so then it's not it's not boiling and it's just warm on there the first time i tried to do a beer brat i did a like a raw regular brat in a casing and i put it in it was i was cooking in the house because i'm like oh i got a pot here just like boiled it i just put beer in there and got it really hot and put it in there the house stunk so bad like it's like aaron's like never fucking do that again and like but i mean the was even bad oh yeah i mean why i finished them on the grill just to get a little bit of yeah but it was like yeah that was way too much effort and it wasn't worth it smell and then the smell of it and like yeah yeah but like i didn't i i wonder like is there a temperature that you get beer with beer broads that it's better like i don't know i don't know the science behind it but i get the idea of it like you get it like again when i watch ben do it he

cooks them first and then just throws them in there so it's more of like yeah and a lot of times he's cooking for a lot of people which i tend to do too yeah so then it's a great way to make sure like you're cooking at all and then those so like he'll make the brats first so they sit in that tub then he'll make the burgers then it all kind of comes in together and then you can be good to go so yeah so if if somebody out there knows the the magic i was gonna say send us an email if you're listening choose an email yeah yeah choose an email with the magic i'd like to know how he come on benny you know the thing come on i remember seeing tj do it and they were always fucking good like getting getting that onion flavor in there with the beer is fucking delicious not to mention i'll give another shout out to ben the man can cook breakfast pretty much better than anybody i ever met every time we go on vacation ben always handles breakfast for for the crew like he's always like he's the one who's up and he makes breakfast and it's so good like just this well like i can make breakfast but my i try to get a you know a dippy egg and it's fuck it you know i cut it up but you know i flip it too early or whatever that's true yeah every time ben nails it and it comes up with different stuff all the time well i know the only thing i could even have a chance to throw my hat and ring on to be breakfast so hey ben i'm throwing on the gauntlet let's go on vacation i want to battle i want to i want to do so this is the thing like that's what i like about camping is everybody could throw down on multiple days that's true like different meals and i'm like yeah you only have to plan one i'm throwing in on breakfast see and i totally i would rather do dinner like because i get like that little liquid courage

kind of going on i'm like all right we'll make this and also it turns out it's fucking good yeah or i do a good enough job just getting everybody drunk enough that they're like this is delicious that's a cheat code you weren't supposed to say that they had fun either way okay that's true that's true okay so uh there's so much we've barely gotten even into this list so i will say i heard this thing called midwest sober which was i drink but you don't have a dui which also then i then i read after that that your wall street sober which is i do coke but i have a job then it's vegas sober which is i don't i don't drink alcohol only hard drugs and i sleep with prostitutes like you know yeah and i was just like god damn like that's a that's a really risque way to like throw that all out there i guess but the one i've only heard is california sober yeah and that's only weed you're just smoking pot yeah which is like whatever you know what i mean is it is it still weird that and i'm not tooting my horn but i called this thinking i'd be wrong but so far it's proving true i thought i'm like we'll be the last day to ever legalize it and so far but it's not even half of them yet is it well i mean kim kim's out soon so that's true she's not signing up again but we don't know who will be in there after her you know what i mean so it's just crazy to me that like so like colorado did it and like i'm not even i i don't even do it really but i'm all for it for whoever wants to do it i'm all for like do whatever

makes you happy if you're not hurting anyone right knock yourself out but colorado did it they made so much money that they were like swimming in it like scrooge mcduck mcduck now other places have done it it's worked out great and it still is like we need we need more research we need more data i'm I'm like, I'll tell you what, and I love drinking. It's better than that. I don't understand what the holdup is. You know what I mean? Big money. It is. It's all money. It's all money. It's all money. But it's just, it's crazy. I guess my point is in 2025, with the amount of research, the amount of data, the amount of intel we have on everything, that we're still able to just have a thumb put on us and be like, not yet.

Well, and then I think another piece is, and so like something we don't really talk about on here at all, either religion sometimes comes into that, but leave that alone. I think like people are talking about their vices now and they didn't used to, it used to be like, well, if you don't have a drink, you just didn't talk about it or you were at the saloon and whatever, like you're doing whatever, but you didn't like people didn't really, your vices were your vices and you kept them. but i will say people always just accepted like because like guys could just go to work all day and then go to the they wouldn't you spill the drink during the day during the day and then they wouldn't even talk to their family and they'd just go straight to the bar for two to three hours and then go home and that was normal that's fucking crazy but i mean at one point tobacco was the same thing like you know that's my point yeah they were yeah until it caused cancer and then the part i don't understand i did the yeah when it comes down to the weed part you know like and maybe it's just one side that I'm hearing that just promotes it, you know, that all the good things that I can do, like all the natural pain reliever, all that you know what I mean That it is like all this stuff like in whatever that it just frustrating that if that true and and we not doing this then it just like it just pretty shitty you know it's like because if money is driving it for whatever but that's the case and it's just frustrating but when i hear that it has the same like what schedule drug schedule c or whatever like it's the same as heroin yeah yeah that's where i get really like well now you're just fucking making shit up because it's not the same and i'm not saying that it doesn't mess with the

chemistry i'm not saying that like i'm not going to argue that stuff but i know people that have been on heroin and i know people that smoke a lot of pot and the majority of them that are hooked on heroin don't have a story to tell anymore and you know ever the pot kids that's a good way to say it still man how stupid when i did that or or whatever but i think they're pretty happy people yeah yeah i think any way you slice it you can overdo something you can overdo alcohol you can overdo opioids all but you can overdo sugar you can overdo yeah you can overdo caffeine you can do yeah yeah but then but again when i just line up two things together and i put pot and heroin together they're not the fucking same thing all right like a triangle in the square is not the same thing just when i look at it i don't need to know yeah the details on it i know one looks like this and no one looks like that and again people that have i've known that i've been in heroin again don't have a story to tell and a lot of people i know smoked a lot of pot in their life yeah and some did too much and just backed off of it some still do it and whatever but they're still telling me their stories so most of the ones that i know overdid it they're just like smack a lot yeah right dude or just didn't do a lot they're playing video games and eating twinkies video games and i like certain things i'm literally on record saying the reason i don't do it a lot is because all i do is eat like it is not like i already like eating it like that's if it made me not do that i'd probably do it way more but it's just not for me you know what i mean

but i'm all for it do whatever makes you feel good and makes you be a good person and doesn't make you be shitty right like i i did it should be that simple but this could totally lead into our idea for a conspiracy theory podcast. I feel like this is probably one of the more controversial maybe topics that we brought up. We do stay pretty broad. We keep things light. And it's not even because we're like, we're not afraid of whatever anyone's going to say, but it's more just like, we just like to have a good time. All three of us are people who it's like, if we all hang out, we just want everyone having a good time.

It's like, if you have some bullshit, it's like, take that shit over there. We've all got time for it. There's places to solve world problems. This is not it. But feel free to email us. Like that night at the bar where we almost got into that dickhead that I won't go into that story, but like there's just pieces of shit in this world. And you're like, Hey, you're being a piece of shit. And he's like, fight me. And we're like, okay. And then you're anyway, usually it's the people that are pieces of shit, not the substances they're consuming. Don't blame me. That guy's just a dickhead anyways. That guy's just a dickhead. Yeah. Can I keep going? How are we doing?

Yeah, yeah. So you mentioned one, and I think it would be awesome to get into because I did a little bit of digging. He's got the whole internet behind him. You and I are just pulling it up. Oh, yeah. Death Row Last Meals. What would be yours? Is that the question? Like, what would be yours? Well, I know what mine would be. All right. Pussy. We can talk about the food earlier. Look, in my defense, if you're going to die, don't you want to go out dying or whatever it's on? Yeah, right? So, yeah. So the only thing that I question with this, because I thought this through at one point, totally separate conversation.

Somebody asked me that question. I'm like, man, like my fucking tuna noodle casserole. Love that. But like, I don't care. I want like some fucking prime rib or something like I'm like, I want a little little meat on the bones. A little. Yeah. Somebody invested some money into this. Right. Like, I don't know. Yeah. That's how I feel. Yeah. But kick us off. So the funny thing is I just remember reading about some like people on death rows, last meals. And it's hilarious. Cause like, you'll see one guy's like, it was on a bag of coffee or two bears, one, two bears, one cave. They, uh, those guys did it and they started reading.

Cause Bert's like, oh yeah, I'd have, I'd eat that all day. Yeah. Oh, they were trying it. That's what it was. Some of the food they were trying it. Of course, Bert's eating it all. And Tom's like, yeah, he's trying a bite. Yeah. Because I have some of the most prolific serial killers last meals up here. Yeah. Okay. So John Wayne Gacy was KFC chicken, French fries, and a pound of strawberries. Oh, and he 12 fried shrimp with it too. Okay. So it's in a foil pan and it's a bunch of fried chicken, French fries, shrimp, and strawberries. Which doesn't sound like... The strawberries, but it's weird.

Yeah, that's weird. I'm just like going KFC. Like, give me some good, like, home. But, yeah. Hey, there's what, 13 spices or whatever they say? I don't fucking know. I don't eat it. I mean, it's still fucking good. Well, it's not bad. I'm not saying. I guess, yeah, if you want something more reliable, there you go. All right, what else you got? Timothy McVeigh just wanted. Oklahoma City bomber. Was it the Unabomber? Yeah, he was the Oklahoma City bomber.

Two pints of mint chocolate chip ice cream. That's it? He was a fucking psycho. Yeah. that is a psycho last meal yeah i mean the fried chicken i can get on board maybe he just really wanted to shit his brains on the well i mean i don't care i mean like i get and i like mint chocolate chip but that's not my fucking meal that's what you're a modern member of my food that's like what i'm saying is like i could have tuna noodle casserole if i'm like really wanting that yeah you know do i want a poverty meal or do i want some prime rib poverty nachos in the microwave hey don't fucking knock those i love a good poverty I don't know who some of these people are.

I might know the name. I unfortunately know a lot of these people. Ricky Ray Rector. Do you know who that is? No. That's a great name. Ricky Ray Rector. He was put to death in Arkansas by lethal injection for two counts of murder. He wanted... He had steak. fried chicken, cherry Kool-Aid, and pecan pie. Okay. See, that's at least a meal. That's a pretty good meal. That's a meal. Like, yeah, don't give me pints of ice cream. Give me, like, yeah. I want some substance. You know what I mean? I mean, I want to shit myself before I even get out of there. Meat, meat, potatoes. Yeah. What the fuck? Some of these are so fucked up.

I was going to say, because some of them are funny, because it's literally like three grapes and a cup of coffee. Well, these guys are fucking psychos. Exactly. We're expecting, like, you know, like, yeah. A well-balanced meal. Yeah. A loaf of wonder bread. A thing of peanut butter. Steven Anderson was 49. He was put to death by a lethal injection in California. Sentenced to death for burglary, assault, seven counts of murder and escaping from prison. Seven counts? His last meal, two grilled cheese sandwiches, a pineapple cottage cheese. What the fuck? Hominy corn mixture. If you know what hominy is.

I do, yeah. Peach pie, chocolate chip ice cream and radishes see radishes i wouldn't pick those foods but i respect the spread yeah yeah yeah wow uh there was this dude in florida he just he declined he said give me the prison meal that's kind of funny but that's you know what i almost kind of respect that too you're like what does it matter what does it mean i think if you did maybe he knew he deserved it and he's like it just put me out maybe you know as i'm hearing this i think i would go like barbecue with like the rib the spread well because you get the ribs you do that stuff but my favorite i love like mac and cheese or cheesy potatoes the corn you know i mean like it just seems like and it all goes well together like if i was gonna do now i'm kind of building in my head like yeah a little bit of mexican street corn with like some brisket okay so i got jalapeno cornbread i got two more and then we'll dive into ours okay sorry i won't i won't keep the fat boys there's a whole list here yeah i'm already sweating from the drink and now like i'm like we get some barbecue in here so ronnie lee gardner was put to death in utah by firing squad which is kind of that's dope no one no one requests that i mean if my shit's going down i kind of want to that's how i would go yeah no way i would want to be electrocuted give me a bullet and the lethal injection i'm just like fuck i just gotta lay here and wait for the chlorine or

whatever the fuck's going into my and and it fucks up sometimes and also the firing squad if i remember right i think it's like what seven guys or whatever and they'll shoot you in the chest basically but one person has a blank no one person has a bullet yeah all the rest all the rest are blanks that's a that's a terrible idea yeah you're not gonna die right away yeah no i think you do it no you I think you do it with a machine. Like a machine just does it now. That's what you should do. Oh, it didn't used to be. They don't really do them anymore. I think firing squads are gone in all the states.

No, some dude just requested it within the last couple of years. Yeah, you can still pick. You can still be hot. I want them all to have a bullet. That's fine. But my point is, if you're just going off aim, if they don't hit you straight in the heart. Well, they're like sharp shooters, and you're not fucking moving around. I don't know if they are, though. I thought it was only one person to blank. That way no one knows if they were the one or not. Yeah, that's the point. But I thought that's why. It's better for them that they didn't kill you. But I thought that's why only one. If anyone knows, Google, like someone let us know.

Yeah, I think only one has a bullet. I don't like that. I want six people to have bullets. Yeah. I want to make sure I die quick. It's fine if they all believe that they don't have bullets. That's fine. Can I request carbon monoxide poisoning? Can you choose that? No. Why? You just go to sleep. That's like the whole banana in the tailpipe. A lot of people do that, unfortunately. Okay. Sorry. We could talk about the best way to die, right? He was sentenced to death for burglary, robbery, and two counts of murder. His last meal, he requested steak, a lobster tail, apple pie, vanilla ice cream, and he wanted to eat it all while watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

All right. I found my guy. I found my guy. Yep. So you can request movies. I didn't know that was a thing. I mean, we are about to fucking wax your ass, so you should probably get a chance to even watch a movie all night. I don't know. Okay, but then it gets into other things. One last conjugal. A little dice game. The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Are we talking extended edition? That's like fucking two days worth of shit. Regardless, even just the normal ones is a full day. I'm sure you only have so much time. Sounds good. We'll give you a... until you run out of time man right that's what's that like when the clock strikes may not you're done yeah okay last one ted bundy okay uh one of the most notorious serial killers in american history was put to death in florida by electric chair it's probably fucking health food at the age of 43 sprouts he was sentenced to death for rape necrophilia prison escape and more than 35 counts of murder.

35? He declined a special meal, so they gave him a traditional last meal. This is why I bring it up. Steak cooked medium rare, eggs over easy, hash browns, toast with butter and jelly, milk and juice. That's a good fucking last meal. If that's traditional, I'm on board. Yeah. I fucking love it. I would take that. Throw some cheese in my half. Steak and eggs would be alright. Medium rare? Steak medium rare with eggs over easy? I'm on board. They should have straight just gave him a bowl of chili and some crackers and called it good. You don't want anything? Cool. Here's your bowl of shit.

Bread and water. Here's your porridge. I think I'm going to stick with barbecue because I think I can get the biggest best bread. I think you're smart. I will say my favorite. No, I'm changing it.

My favorite meal would be um beef tenderloin lobster tail um it'd be a twice baked potato caesar salad and some garlic bread god you're bougie yeah i mean but you should be it's your last one exactly that's exactly what it would be and my twice baked potato could easily be substitute for like a like a mac and cheese or cheesy potato that's actually like a like a party potato like party potato like a yeah i'll do like a hash brown casserole like that sort of thing yeah yeah yeah that's that's mine that's 100 percent mikey what's yours i'm gonna make it up on the fly i'm gonna go uh tj or his mom's lasagna it's gotta have that and then uh cara's poke bowl which even though those are both mains i don't care it's my last meal so you and then i want some mexican street corn a piece of pecan pie pecan really if i'm going out i'm going out yeah i mean maybe diabetes i'm spiking the insulin to the max yeah uh but i want one more thing i want a vegetable oh i want uh i want uh brussels sprouts from big grove with the crushed nuts and the honey sriracha glaze yeah None of that goes together, but it's all my favorite things.

Yeah, that was like the most ADD meal ever. I know. I was saying, like, I had a nice meal and all fucking goes well together. Oh, no, yours goes together. No, I was just like, I love this and this and this and this, and I want to do that. Yeah. I mean, if I'm one off and now you got me to other things. See, I know. It's hard. Now my brain's going different. They never said you have to, like, pick a spread that goes together. Right. Yeah. I think it is tough. You can't really request, like, XYZ restaurant. That's true. You can't say, get my mom to make me this. Yeah. But outside of that, you got to be like any chef with reasonable means could make this, I would assume.

Yeah, because I'd end up getting some shitty Bloody Mary. Like, God damn it. You know, that's the problem. So I'll tell you guys mine, and I'll explain. Nobody knows how to make our tuna casserole. I'll tell you that much. That's why I'm not getting it. Yeah. So I want prime rib, garlic mashed potatoes, some garlic toast. um i want like fucking weird but canned green beans i fucking hate canned i thought i was literally thinking green beans i want canned green beans and um for dessert like just a fudgy brownie like amazing fudgy brownie and then so i would also request a pint of whatever dark beer you can find like give me a fucking stone none of them requested out i mean but maybe they can't maybe they can't but like a they should fucking beer like give me a pint of guinness like i was gonna sneak one in let them have a beer on their way out i mean fuck those guys but you know they did only kill 35 people i suppose they should yeah they're also like why the fuck did they bring me back to reality yeah but uh back to the you get a buck and a shit yeah it wasn't like you He had three speeding tickets and we hung him.

That's a good point. So I say prime rib. That's like a bloody mirror to me because I love a good prime rib but there's a lot of shitty prime ribs. See, I would say when it gets down to that, I'm definitely prime rib. Prime rib is not my favorite anyways. I could do a steak but if I was going to do a steak, I'd just like a good New York strip because they just generally don't get fucked up. yeah you know pretty much the same as you guys are talking i have all kinds of things spinning in my head maybe we do this again because i i did go off i did go weird like i was like this person's this and i understand like i love green bean casserole i'd put that on there why don't i put that on there you know what i mean like kind of oh man you know my kids are obsessed with the the onion things that go on the top yeah so i just buy them now they just snack on them but you put You put those on your green bean casserole or your tuna casserole?

The fried onion things? Oh, we got you, buddy. Oh, it's in the recipe. Nope. I have a secret ingredient. Now they have the fried jalapeno ones. My topping is my secret ingredient. And now I want to try all the things I had those, but with those, I think it'd be way more. We are definitely going to have a fall Super Bowl party, and it's going to be a tuna casserole cook-off. I love it. i'm excited i'm down i'm telling you right now i'll make a spicy yeah kelly my sister kelly i know you're listening come on you know what's up planet you're definitely you're definitely winning because she makes my mom like it's yeah we got it yeah we might have to team i can appreciate the concept of the crispy things they're so good they do get soggy eventually but like what if you cook it right and then put them on at the end and then just roast it for you know a little bit oh god they're good yeah crisp a little bit mine is potato chips on top okay so a lot of people did cornflakes growing up the specific brand has to be there because if it's something else it's what students or whatever stirs and stirs and god damn it i knew it yeah yeah so way better before but they're still good so i can respect that because at our house it was either it was actually always lays potato chips so i get there because my dad would eat lays potato chips for lunch but he'd never eat the crumbs so he'd eat them all the way down so then we'd have all these nice little bags in there and that's what bomb would just sprinkle over it that's great well my love of of uh green

bean casserole ashley's like you should put some of these fried onions on it and i'm like you just topped that baby off so so now we do that so no i love that it's gonna be good yeah which your dad's right though by the way that's like a little separate category but i just have to say it quick fucking when it gets down to just shit just throw them away yeah like people will put it back in they're like well i'm like okay fine if you're eating with tweezers like i don't understand what he's saying is like put them in a put them in a bag and they're actually then it was all the time my point is the people who do that they they keep them and then they're just expecting someone to eat them it's like oh but if you went to my house you would see the like ben or anybody else can vouch for this you'd open up the cabinet they had the chips in there would be seven like bags that just all had these and you're like those are for the holidays it was pretty much it was pretty much i guess we're going to be having two little castles soon i love that so much when you need to get rid of a bag yeah that's great where are we at buddy uh are we good we're way over yeah are we really but it's great like sometimes we do this and it's great for what it's worth we made it through 20 of the notebook no so there will be a notebook two episode there will be a two and three and probably four yeah but that's fine you got a dad joke for us to our brains i got i got another one okay uh will these portabellas fit in the fridge i don't know if there's mushroom yep yes and i swear on my kids i didn't know that

All I went was Hold on, all I went was Portabellas or mushrooms, and that's what I did You know, I gave you shit in the beginning But you're fucking proving me wrong You got this stuff going on I promise what I say That was a good one I'm not a liar, I'm a lot of things There's not mushroom I'm so fucking proud of that one I don't know if there's mushroom left Alrighty You guys can't see it, but I'm curtsying Right now, so it's great What was another good one? Yeah, kind of.

I still can't. I like those. More spaghetes. Highly recommend the spaghetes. Highly don't recommend anything with Tabasco or any hot sauce in it. Or if you have a friend named Erik that ends with a K, you can just not do that. And then you can dodge that little bullet like we did not do. All right, guys. We love you. Thanks for listening to us again. We'll be back. See you again soon. Bye. Peace.