Skip to content

Ep. 12May 7, 20251:06:58

Your Cinco De Mayo date deserves better than Crocs with socks

In this week’s episode we discuss Cinco De Mayo, how cool our sock choices may or may not be, getting kicked out of bars, pool season is upon us, bar industry etiquette, customer service stories, and much more!

YouTube Spotify Apple Podcasts

Dad joke

Vote on every joke →

What did one sombrero say to the other? You go on ahead.

Dad jokeEp. 12 @ 01:05:39

Show notes

In this week’s episode we discuss Cinco De Mayo, how cool our sock choices may or may not be, getting kicked out of bars, pool season is upon us, bar industry etiquette, customer service stories, and much more!

Transcript

Tap a timestamp to listen from there

Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

I Ouch ouch you're on my hair That's way more accurate I guess realize why it felt so good to say I don't have any hair Maybe we should add you say that one yeah Episode 12. Whoa. We're still cool, right? We are yeah, we are are welcome back guys yeah we're here for another exciting one it's getting nice outside i know and i'm getting excited man i'm really getting excited so sean has a middle finger in front of him telling me to fuck off it's a trophy it is a trophy so this means nothing but when you get the attitude going if you're watching on camera you'll start to see this slide on over and you'll just have to know i feel like i should be exact i picked it out you knew what you were getting i did know I'm pretty sure it's always funny with me, right?

That's true. I wonder if we can engrave it. I'm sure. We can do whatever we want to. Put stickers on it. I love it. I'm just going to get a new one every time. In a year, we're going to have like 14 fucking middle finger trophies. So to our regular listeners, welcome back. For our new ones, my name is Shaun. I'm Mike. We're going to make you say that this time. Come on. And I'm Erik. And I'm Erik. So welcome. We are we're excited that you guys join us or back again. We got a little entertaining one here for you We do good about it. We got some good topics. We do have some good topics But I feel like we should start like we always do. How's your weekend? It was good Nothing too crazy, but we went to a colonel's game Friday night with our friends Erik and Elisa He won tickets on the radio and he was so excited because he's never won anything really He was like over. That's so cool. Holy cow I think that'll never go out of style.

I mean, it's definitely cool, but have you ever won anything on the radio? No, I don't think I've ever even called in. You've never called in? No. I've won like three times. I remember like the top eight at eight and I was ready to record my, you know, back in the... Oh, you're saying when you were recording on your cassette tape? God, you're fucking old. Yeah. So I was going to say, I never won a prize, but I did get on the request line, like the late night request line back in high school. Where they recorded you. This one goes out to Lizzie. I recorded it every night so that I could like if I caught friends that were on it or if I got on it I was like did you share like this is out this goes out to Samantha. Yeah, I was gonna say I don't remember. I think it was something for a girl. I'm pretty sure.

Erik is home with a broken heart. He just wanted to send this to you. Let's be honest everything around that age was for girls. Right. There's only one goal. Only one goal. Imagine Erik sitting in like a window, you know, there's rain falling and like down the window pane and it's like careless whisper starts playing I think that's why when like you're in middle school or like young in high school like you get embarrassed so easy because it's like you're just like Man there goes my shot. Oh, yeah, like automatically when you do something dumb didn't take your boys call you out. You just feel Horrible now when you get a little bit older, you're like yeah, I don't give a shit wasn't gonna work out That's, that's one of the greatest things about one of the only things good about getting old is not giving a fuck, right? You know, caring less and less what other people think.

That's the shit when that happens, but it takes a long time. I remember when Keaton told me when you stop thinking about, or when you stop thinking about what people think about you, you realize how little they think about you. Yeah. I mean, you know, you think like everything you do, like, you know, you're the center of the attention Right here and they're really like they mean yeah, just have the dumb shit that you do that There's the other saying like, you know Why do you give a shit about someone's opinion that you wouldn't sit down and have a meal with? Yeah, it's like it's like yeah, we see her worry about like Joe Schmoe's fucking opinion I don't even like Joe Schmoe fuck him. I still worry about it. Yeah Yeah, I'm just tough on air. I'm a big sissy. Yeah, yeah Give me this microphone. Yeah, see what's up. So yeah baseball game was good it was fucking, I didn't think it was gonna get that chilly though. And it fucking got cold. So yeah, I did get a little, yeah, it's just the time of year where you're just so excited for a nice day. And then all of a sudden you're like, come on. And also you're like, I don't need a sweatshirt. And then the sun goes down and you're like, this was a bad idea. Today was absolutely perfect. I know. So I week's going to be great. Yeah.

This is good. I mean, and I mean, shout out to it today. Cinco de Mayo. Yeah. I mean, come on a couple of days later, but when we're filming at Cinco de Mayo, so that's pretty, I should add tacos today. I fucked up. I saw a post out there that someone said, let me save it. Or saving my friends like one at a time. Like if you're in mood for Mexican food tonight, so is everybody else. So is every restaurant. Schulte posted that on Facebook. That's where I saw it.

That was pretty good. He's so right though. I remember during COVID going on Cinco de Mayo like, oh, we're going to get Mexican. Just not even thinking. And it was like, they were like, it'll be an hour. I'm like, no problem. Get there. I went like an hour and 15 minutes later stood there. There's a thousand people waiting for their food. And it was, I took them like another hour. Like you got it to go. Yeah. Oh, it was just like, what? It was just pickup. But the parking lot was just, I mean, you could have tailgated there. There's so many people just waiting for their food. We, I remember during COVID, we just like did it at home.

Like we made like margaritas and actually a gal that I used to work with came around and dropped off like the little margaritas for everybody and like went all out. And I'm like, and got us like the good queso. and my neighborhood we did like uh no this is a guy that i worked with so it was great you know i mean no it wasn't a neighbor and like she went around did it and brought like the good queso and all that so i was like this is awesome did you guys ever get the uh to-go margaritas from the restaurants you could get them in like they were like like a gallon of it well there's those a gallon ones too but later but it was like at first it was like these pouches and it was awesome yeah so before that happened i used to do the can i get a to-go box and then dumping it you know i saw it or you get the styrofoam and you just pour it right in the box.

The bowl or whatever. You just walk out with it and you're good to go. Well, that's one of the things with COVID, though. That bill got passed during COVID. You used to not be able to get alcohol to go. And they were like, well, we can't not get drunk when we're stuck at home. And the good ones. And Ken Reynolds was like, done. Right. They put it in the bag and there's no ice. So then you just do your own ice. You can like, instead of filling the cup with it, you could just pour it over. Yeah, because they had max ice to give you less margarita, typically. So you're like, no, I'm gonna do this whole thing. So yeah.

Nice. How was your weekend? Good. We had baseball weekend again. I probably could have guessed that. Yeah. Which, which was good. I don't know. We, we had a rough go of it again.

Yeah. The boys, it was weird. Like we, we just, they just kind of showed up not kind of flat, you know, like right away. And then maybe they needed better walk-ups. So you will appreciate this. That's exactly what happened. So we are like kind of getting beat, you know, like they just don't even have much energy and I'm like getting frustrated, you know, really. So we get beat in the first game and then we get to our second game and the first inning just goes terrible and we're like getting crushed. And I'm like, we can, we're like just as good as these guys. Like it's, it's, that's not like the case.

Yeah. You know, it's not like they're this masterful team that we're just getting clobbered by and I'm just like this, you know, so I'm like, get the boys. I'm like, come on, we got to fire up. Let's get it going. momentum shift. All of a sudden, one of the kids goes up to bat and Ashley has the music and she switches on my milkshake, brings on the bus to the yard and all the kids start laughing. And it was literally like stress just went off of them. And then Ashley had a new song for all of them. And we bet all the way around the, all the way around our lineup. And we've never done that. Like we, like we haven't done that yet this year. So they all just start having fun. And next thing you know, away we go, you know what I mean?

we start making our way and we ended up having, so then after that moment, we only got like six runs, but we, we, you know, just whatever worked out, we ended up leaving bases load or whatever. But like then after that we played fantastic. You know what I mean? And so I was all excited for them. Sunday's a tournament. We're going to be going. Nope. No. Yeah. But at least you had that game. So shout out to DJ Ashley. Yeah. She full on did it. And then all the parents are laughing. and the kids are laughing and there was, it was great. So it was like, they, she just changed it and started picking songs for him. So it was, it ended up being pretty good.

Even the other team was laughing, even as we started getting going in, the coaches are like, God, guys, we're like making this huge comeback here for it. So it was pretty fun. So that's awesome. It was good. We did that. And then like I've said, you know, the benefit if you get knocked out right away in the tournaments is easy to get your Sunday back. So I did see a snap from ashley that uh maybe that maybe your pool's opening soon it is pool's gonna get open tomorrow i'll be there in my uh in my thong yeah yeah i was doing some work on it that we're finishing up all that stuff that we did in the backyard it should be it should be pretty nice we're kind of putting our funds back together and it should be a good summer for that uh happen here so once it's pool season that's when life gets good again yeah i had this fun thought the other day because i was working at the you know community neighborhood pool thing yeah i'm a part of and uh, we should make like, we have several friends that have pools, you know, like, and, and, or access to pools. We should just make a list of opening days and like do a tour. Like on Monday, I'm going to this place. We could totally do that. That would be road trip. I saved a lot of PTO for this summer. I know there's just some days around it. It's too nice. I'm going to the pool. Yeah. So today was too nice. I did not be working outside.

I'm jealous. Yeah. Today was so nice. And I think I got outside like twice and that was in for barely an ox. I had to work all day, but no. So, I mean, honestly, that's the best part about my gig right now. Now, wait, when it's snow and it's 95 or that stuff, it'll be a little bit different, but days like today, yeah, that is, that is where it's at. Wait till you're on the side of a building when it's a hundred and it's just radiating off the brick. Yeah. Yeah. Ready to go. So, so I got us a drink. Um, I made this one here for us a shot shot. Okay. And this felt right to do just because, uh, because of the name here, the name is called Windex of the shot. And you can use that to clean windows. Uh, not, no, I use a little bit more of a professional solution, but it's all, you know, it is used to clean windows. So I thought it was perfect in honor of, you know, it smells good. Shout out to clear day solutions as we do a windex shot that looks just like index. So let's give it a shot here. Cheers y'all. Okay. I'm going to be honest. I kind of tastes like windex. It kind of smells like windex for sure. That's not as good as I thought it was going to be. Well, it looks better. It looked great. I mean, all it is is vodka and that blue carousel. So, I mean, there isn't a ton of like, it needs like one more thing to put on it on liquor yeah yeah I was gonna say like even like literally a dash of grenadine would make that would have been

All right, then it would look like yeah, it won't look like Windex so I thought for sure that would be I'm trying to think what you could add to that simple syrup. Yeah, there you go like teeny or So that the fuck up and take the shit right take it like a man. I heard he did fuck It's still way better than freaking malort You know, we're for NASA for nights. I don't have a face still. So, right. Right. Yeah. Don't you talk shit about it's going to hear you and not be happy. So there you go. Windex. Not bad. Just needs a little. So because of that, uh, we might as well do. So we had, we had an actual drink for today.

We had a shot and we have a drink cause apparently we're, we're getting crazy on Cinco de Mayo. Uh, so this is from our buddy, Matt. You'll remember him because he, uh, I was going to say graced us with, but I'm going to say fucked us over with, uh, last week. And that stuff is not good, in my opinion. I know it's a favorite among the service crowd and other people, but no, I wasn't a fan. So this here is called a Bucicolata. So this involves Buchanan's pineapple. What did I say it was? Not gin. Scotch. Or was it gin? No, hold on. Yeah, no, scotch. and it has pineapple juice, coconut cream, lime juice.

And then of course he even gave us the garnish of a lime. So is it just scotch or is it pineapple scotch? It's pineapple scotch. Interesting. I know, which I didn't, I've never even heard of that. It's actually a really cool looking bottle. I've never heard of it. He said he was on the fence. I never wanted to try it because he didn't sound good. And then he did. And this was like the first recipe they have on the website. And he said, it's awesome. Interesting. So he said, basically, if you like pina colada, you'll love this. So, and I will say it smells heavenly. All right. Let's give it a little taste.

Cheers. Cheers. Everybody. Cheers. Okay. That's fucking good. Oh man. Hey Matt, you've totally redeemed yourself. That's really damn Matt. That's way good. Wow. You know, I'd laugh because, well, you know, I think of pineapple scotch. My dad was a scotch drinker. Yeah. If I would have said pineapple scotch to him, he would have probably been like, what the fuck are you talking about? How un-American are you? Pineapple scotch. But then you taste this like that is, that is a tasty beverage, man. I wanted to look at the ingredients again. Oh, it's the coconut cream. Because I was like, man, it's like got a real tropical creaminess to it.

Yeah, there's a little bit of a, I don't know, spice to it, like a cardamom or something like that. There's like a something cinnamon maybe. I don't know what it is. There's a little something there too. cinnamon would be good at it uh i mean it says the the bitters it has a little bit of bitters in it but yeah it says alternatively you can make it frozen in a blender which i could see that dude really damn good pool drink this feels like a pool drink for sure we need to get these ingredients and maybe that'll be for opening weekend this is the thing like i always am amazed by like good bartenders and matt's definitely one of them but yeah we know several in town they can take like something and you're like oh i fucking hate gin and they can make you a good drink you will yeah like they will be like i you know tell me a couple of things you like or you know some two ingredient bullshit drink that you like and they'll make something crazy yeah and it's amazing to me like it really is like that's like you know a chemist putting shit together some mixology that's when they can do that shit that's amazing to me yeah because here's me if you asked me to make you a shot i would just grab like three bottles and be like well let's see what this tastes like and guess What it tastes like shit every single time and there's a chance. It's gonna curl coagulate I'm bringing it back next to next patties day new and improved four leaf clover Maybe you drink it first and shoot that just use pre curdled milk Eggnog yeah, there we go. Your milk's not lumpy. What's in that cottage cheese?

it's going to be great i promise yeah i'm definitely going to taste test the next one well that was delicious i love it yes thank you man yeah sipping on that whole episode i know he did say one thing i wanted to say because i thought it was so good uh last episode when he dropped this off he brought this up last episode we talked about things that back when we were younger we thought made you rich if you did it having your house cleaned like having a house clean like having a cleaning person i was like that's huge i mean i thought you were like you know, fresh Prince's aunt and uncle. It's funny how like you do that now, like, or like, yeah, it's pretty common. We have one. You look at it and it's like, it's not that expensive. You know what I mean? For what it does when you have to clean your house all week, you know what I mean? When you get that stuff done that, you know, you still got to pick up and everything else like that, you know, but you don't have to do the floors. You never do that.

Yeah. Do your like, or the bathrooms and that sort of stuff. It's like, it's worth every, every penny when you are not doing that all weekend long. You know, um, I think it's also one of those things that once you start doing it, you probably can't stop because you're like, Oh, this is, this is what it feels like Well there so many of those things that you just have in your head that that must be ridiculously expensive and it not it really not that bad yeah it a very customizable service yeah yeah so you can go as crazy as you want to rooms because yeah if you were having something there four hours and eight twice a week that's yeah it's a lot we have someone and she comes in for like two hours i don't even two hours every two weeks you know i mean so it really is knocking out the floors um you know the bathroom baseboard and yeah like that's something you don't want to to do because we got to pick it up we got to keep everything else clean so it's that's normal you know i mean that we would do anyways yeah some of you listening look up at your ceiling fan yeah clean that for god's sake i'm kidding my name's clean right so i just want to make or look at those windows you know that's one of the things they don't do those outdoor windows and little do they know if you just reach out like i i even know a guy yeah and the thing that i'm loving about this stuff is actually one of the biggest things that i'm getting right now is I've been talking to a lot of friends and family doing it when I'm like, this is what it's going to cost. They're like, Oh, that's it. Yeah. Like again, that's another one that they had in their head. Like it must be like, Oh, and it's like, no, this is because you're not having it done every day. No, I'm done every day. And it's like, Oh, that's reasonable.

And then the, if you look at just what it costs to have like a service person, just come out to look at your furnace, right? You know, the days of free quotes back to those things aren't alive anymore, but they still are in my business. Free quotes. So yeah, but yep. Anyways, um, I know this shameless plug for myself. I'm still enjoying this, but I wanted to shout out, we said Matt's name, but Matt runs Quinton's on C Avenue. Yes. Go check it out. It's awesome. Have it make you a drink. He's damn good at it. And ask him for whatever this is. For Nat. I don't know what it's called. Oh yeah. Ask him for a shot of for Nat and then say, pour me a delicious drink. Yeah. This was called a Bucca Colada or Bucca Colada, because it's buchanan's pineapple so i it's just a spin off that but god damn it's good or maybe go on i'll go ahead and ask him how you really pronounce it and then yeah go ahead get yourself on because i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about right i have a funny uh little story i just want to talk quick uh about i'd love to hear it third so i was at my local watering hole a couple weeks ago and it's it's pretty dead in there and uh it's i think it was just karen i and then we know the bartender and her name's sarah and she's working and this guy comes in just stumbling in and i notice he has a bag in his hand and it's popeyes and popeyes is close by and i'm like no way is he bringing him food for popeyes chicken popeyes chicken yeah like they serve food here yeah oh they like a brewery no they certainly have a food delicious exactly and so he stumbles in and he climbs into the seat and i'm just looking over like this like am i getting punked like what the is going on and sarah looks down there and just gives me

this look i'm like this can't be real and so he sits there and she asks what she can get him or whatever. And he's like, I'll just take a water. He gets a water. It sits there. And I mean, he's in heaven eating this stuff. When you talk about like the drunkest you've ever been sitting on your kitchen floor, like eating leftover pizza and like you're in bliss. That's this guy's face. He's greasy. He's just loving it. And she's just letting it happen because she's trying to see which way it would go. It's like, let's not make something right. I'm not going to make this worse. It's not busy. I don't want to do it. It's like just It was not busy.

She knows what she's doing. But then I looked down there, and I'm like, and he grabs something, and I couldn't tell it was. He grabbed the bar towel that had been used there that had been there for hours, and wipes his face. He's wiping his hands, then goes back to eat more. He was too dirty, right? And so I'm gagging in my mouth, and I'm like, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. And I tell her, and she goes, oh, my God. And so when he wasn't looking, she went and grabbed it and put it in the trash. Cause she's like, we're never using that again. But yeah. And he just continued to do that. And then he's like, I think I'll take a drink now. And she was like, I think it's just a good time to go. And he was like, what do you mean? Cause Oh, I forget. He did say like, just make me whatever you think is best or water. Yeah.

Yeah. The guy he didn't, he wasn't happy about being told to leave, but it's like, you can't, I don't know if anyone knows this. You can't do that. You can't take food and do a food establishment and then just eat at the bar. Yeah. So anybody wanted, well, that's not true. Some bars like you actually can't get food from other, you know what I mean? Well, yeah, but if they don't serve food, they don't serve food. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, even I just, this is why service workers are God sent because the whole CD was in, it was covered in like chicken critter dust. I don't fuck it. It was gross. There's grease all over the place.

I'm like, fuck that guy. She served him a water, so she didn't get tipped at all. And oh, he wasn't going to tip anyway. It looked like he didn't know where he was or even if he had, I mean, he, he definitely was a normal person. He was just beyond gone. And let's be honest. It, maybe it wasn't just drunk. He was out there. Shout out to her. I think she played it the right way. Let it go. And let it go. But, but really grinds my gears chaps your ass like that, right? That's what's actually something funny that I wanted to ask you about, I had somebody reach out to me to say, well, he was, he gave a shout out to one of my uncles, but have you ever been, I'm sure. Yeah. You've been kicked out of a bar before.

How did I mean, why would you assume that? But cause you were with me. And his comment was my cousin, Ben, who gave me the comment and he's like, you should title it. I've been kicked out of better places than this. Cause on our way out, he's like, I've been kicked out of better places than this. That's God. Can you imagine that guy said it when he was leaving? Yeah. And so it adds to that question as a guy eating chicken or the, if you see this stuff, have you ever been kicked out of a bar? And if you have, what was it for? I have, uh, I will say most of them were not specifically because of me, but I've been kicked out of quite a few places. Tip it.

Like I think almost every bachelor party we've had, we've gotten kicked out of a bar just cause we're way too loud. It's like we come in hot. We're loud, not on a bachelor party. So then you add 30 of us and it's going to get bad. I got kicked at a cat's lounge back in the day. That used to be in Marion. I don't even know what it is now, but that was because we got in a big brawl. That's one of my favorite stories, though, because I was not. It wasn't just me. We were getting in a fight and I had fallen into the stage jumping this dude, like this one guy that I was in. My arm went through the railing, so I was stuck.

I still had a hold of him. Well, then all of a sudden some behemoth of a man grabs me and picks me up and throws me backwards And I mean I went four or five feet and slid and I stand up and it's the biggest dude I've ever seen in my life I'm like, oh It's like well I was doing great against the one that was my size and literally he starts walking up to me and you could tell he's he's gonna fucking Yeah, and all of a sudden this big dude just jumps in front of me bigger than that guy Oh big old black guy and just fucking launches the guy and he goes, I got you, bro. And I was like, thank you so much, sir How old were you we were not 21? I think yeah, I think we're like 1920 but exactly I knew that we didn't start it wasn't us that started it these guys were being dicks And so that guy he might have fucking been security there. I don't know, but he was like he knew we were fine That's the only one that I will say like I was kind of at fault Otherwise it's all you loud fucks getting me kicked out of bars. Yeah. I'm normally putting you that cause I've never been, I don't get into fights or that's usually I'm pretty good at talking my way out of that stuff or, or even I end up talking to other people out of, you know, it's generally somebody else that's involved in my hopped in and smooth the situation over.

But I have definitely been kicked out for being loud because we've showed up to places where one time we were at a, we were golf all day long. We were at a golf deal for the whole day. And then And for whatever reason, um, I want Mono, my uncle's is like, let's go get a good dinner. And I'm like, I don't think that's a good, that's not a good idea. It is. And we go to like the lighthouse. Oh God. You know what I mean? Which is like a supper club. Yeah. And so everyone's kind of quiet and it's, it's like, they have great food. You know, we roll in there. It's an old, yeah, it's real in there with, and there's 15 of us, I think.

And we are drinking all day. So loud. just having fun and we weren't being, you know, to the point and you know, especially at the company kick us out. You know what I mean? Because we even went into the bar and we were, did you even get a food order put in? No, here's, so it was funny. We get in there, we order drinks, we get that done and he comes in and warns us. They're like, okay. Then comes back in, warns us again. And then by that time we all have drinks and he comes in. He's like, you guys gotta go. I think it might even been like my dad or someone's like, we gotta get out of here. Like you gotta kick us out. Like we're, no, They're not going to get any quiet.

You know what I mean? Like this is there because everyone's just talking and laughing, you know, and so it's all like in good fun, but we're just wrecking other people. And your dad had such a sense of reason though. He's like, we're not going to leave on our own. You got to tell us. You're going to, no one's going to go. He's like, we'll gladly oblige. Yeah. But you got to say the words. Yeah. And so like literally they tell us we're going to leave and we do and we walk out. Nobody pays the bill. Oh no. My parents knew somebody that was there and he just picked up the bill and then called my parents the next day and was like, uh, by the way, you know, it was like $70 bar tab that you owe me or something like that.

He's like, Oh my God, goes, you know, goes over and pays them. But that was one of them. And then, so not only did you get kicked out, but you kind of kicked yourself out. Well, I think it was like one of those things that they took their ball and went home. It was like, it was a place where my parents used to go there all the time. You know what I mean? Like they used to, and a lot of my family did. We'd go there all. So I think it was like when he came on a third time, my dad's like, you're probably just going to have to kick us out because like, there's no chance of us being quiet. And I feel like I remember specifically, even though we knew, especially through you and your family knew him very well, but we got kicked out of the moose multiple times on bachelor parties, but it was just, again, we were being so loud and it's set up in a way that if you're being loud in the front, like you're ruining it for everyone in the bar.

Well, especially cause that was another one, like after the golf course all day, you know what I mean? We were in there and that was, Oh, do you remember when we did that? Cause then it was for every beer you drank, you got a stroke off. Dude, it was the best golf score I ever had. Cause it was, who was it? Didier. So we showed up pretty banged up. Oh my God. That was Josh Brown. And oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So every stroke is on for every beer you drank, you got a stroke. Well, I'm terrible at golf, but I'm like, I can drink a case of beer today. Back then, I can't do that now. We set up the partner so there's like a good golfer and like a bad.

So a lot of the bad golfers were like, I guess my job is just to drink beer the whole time. I think Didier and I just basically killed a case each and like kept our team in it. Just drink beer and drive the cart. There was another one where my cousin Ben and I were in, we were at a wedding in Wisconsin and it was one of those where we go up and it is me and my cousin and my uncle and we get into the hotel room and he pulls out a bottle of crown and he spins the top and it shoots on the floor. And I got to get it. He's like, Nope, we're not going to do that. We're going to need that. You know, and there will be none of that. So we end up, you know, going to this rehearsal dinner at this fancy golf guy, this fancy golf course, we're, we're having drinks and the whole deal. And so then we were drinking that crown. We had to the, we had to the rehearsal dinner. We're drinking crown all night, come back to the hotel. And there's like a bar right across the street that we walk over to the has indoor golf, like a golf simulator. And we decided that we're going to sign up and play it. They let us do it. And we notice as we walk in, they have right-handed and left-handed clubs. We're both right-handed and decided it's a good idea to see see what we can do left-handed. We are firing golf balls all over this bar. Like they're ricocheting off the stuff and going out, you know, I mean, we're not hitting that people, but we're just swinging. No, I get, I know it's bouncing off something and it's going out there. And finally the guy goes, what are you, you guys got to go, you know, we're

like, sorry, probably a good idea. You know, after that, that's the thing, at least when we get thrown out, we always like, I don't fight it. Yeah. I've never been saying I've never been kicked out for five, like, or being like a, exactly. Like it's just been harmless far, I guess. I don't know. Thank God. I didn't hurt anybody with golf ball, but that's part of the part's fault. Like, what are you dealing with golf? You know, I mean, that is a dangerous game. They're playing on their own. Yeah. So I have a couple of the good stories there for it that my cousin, other cousin on one of the Chicago bachelor parties. Oh yeah. The Cubs trips that wasn't quite as of age yet. And we get in there and we, after being at the game all day, we're at this other bar and we're like, dude, just play it. Cool. There's enough of us here.

We'll get you a beer. Just no big deal. Two seconds later, he's up at the bar. Hey, hey, are you serious? And I'm like, what are you doing? Hey, hey, hey man, I ordered a drink. Like he has no, you know, like it's Chicago. He's just owning the moment. And he's just acting like I've been, he's like, I've been standing here like, and that bartender's like, yeah, fuck face. And you're gonna stand there for a while. And he's just smacking the bar over and over and we're like, what the fuck are you doing? You know what I mean? It's this is not the way it's like, let him go. And he gets kicked out of the bar for you're not even 21. What are you doing off air? I'm going to guess who that was. Okay. I just, I have a feeling, but yeah, so those are some good ones that we had of you think Erik's ever been kicked out of a bar. No, he's too nice. I bet he has. I know he has always been somebody else's fault though right okay so i'm sure there's i'm sure there's some stories that i just don't recall fully they aren't coming back to me um probably my biggest one was uh there was it was a it was a concert and there were people in front of us that were like it i don't know they were kind of being rude and just i instigated and one of them turned around and punched me and then my friends jumped in and i was down for a second i didn't get like knocked out yeah just got three i got sucker punched so i went down and just took me a second to realize what happened oh and by the time i got up somebody's nose ring got ripped out and we're

all getting your god the place be careful with your piercings kids yeah i i did not participate in ripping i wouldn't go that far i'll throw a punch if i need to do exactly but i'm not like Ripping out piercing. I gotta be pretty mad and backed into a corner to rip someone's like no racial. That's like survival Yeah, this is like both parties guy kicked out So you know and that is the best way to do it like when I got kicked to that bar for the fight It's like we they knew we weren't in the wrong, but they're like hey the cops are coming You're not in the wrong, but you're gonna get in trouble You might and we were underage I was like yeah, we should just go so we left but I was like yeah It's funny how you're only young once when you're underage in those scenarios, which I don't think it really happens that much anymore but back then we all did it.

Oh, I know. It's like, quit drawing attention to yourself, dipshit. Well, but then it's also like, gee, it's a wonder why they don't let you in a bar at that age. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, it all makes sense. I feel like we were great about like playing it cool. And now I will say a friend of mine, I used his ID. Yeah. DJ. And we looked enough alike, but there was times we went into a bar and it's like, it was him and then like one of you two and then me. It's like, so they saw the same person's ID. one after the other almost and they're just like, yeah, you're good. I might start seeing so many.

Well, that's why that's why I told you, I'm like, they don't pay attention. You know, like, I think they do a little more now. Well, now they can see them. I can't even. You can order your fakes online now. Isn't that crazy? Oh, yeah. I'm pretty sure I had three 21st birthdays at Jake's and I was going to get 21 pictures. $21. Oh, man. You think they still do that? Probably not. Not for 21. Maybe now it's like $63 or something. Inflation's a bitch. they're like pitchers fuck that yeah 21 pints sure that was so good it was so much fun see the good old days for these new kids fucked it up for everybody or because we had to grow up yeah oh there is that too and that's why we're not cool anymore not even a little bit cool so uh i do have an email it'd be great i got one email i should probably read uh as my son is which i'm excited Speaker 3 That we have an email but I a little disappointed because last time I was bragging about Hey every time you jinxed it we gotten more and now we gone Speaker 3 But that a good thing because if it kept up like that that all we were going to be able to keep up Yeah But challenge has been extended I made the joke that if people stop emailing us, then I'll just start reading my regular emails instead.

Oh my God, dude, don't say that we're going to have 30 emails. Yeah. He's an it folks. So you don't want to hear those. Although he's going to read a spam mail. Uh, so this threw me off cause it said from, uh, Leanne Crowley and I'm like, I know her, she's awesome. Uh, and then I read it and I realized it's her husband, my buddy, John, I used to work with him. I worked with them a lot. I, we worked at a one job together for a couple of years and then we left that job and then we worked together for another, like, I don't know, eight to 10 years, but two of the coolest people in the world. But he says, Hey Mikey, I've been listening to your guys' podcast. To be honest, I did not really know what to expect.

I listened to a lot of podcasts. I will say you and your buddies are really good at this. I have been impressed with your banter and especially how fluid you guys are. No long pauses, just shooting the shit. It's been entertaining. Okay. Here's a couple of comments. Val Kilmer got fucking ripped off for not being at least nominated for a supporting Oscar role in dog holiday. Wow. That was an amazing performance. I fucking agree, John. Good for you. I just love how fiery he got right out of the gate. He did get fucking ripped off. He said, I laugh when you talk about how old you guys feel. I bought my first CD player when I was working for United airlines in St.

Louis. It was a single disc player. It costs $495 in 1985, $495. Also how, you know, you were rich. Yeah, John, that's right. What's that right now? That's a 70 inch TV. Yeah. Right. That's the amount of money. He said, yes, I'm that old. You were talking recently about rotary phones. My grandparents had a rotary phone. That was a party line. When I was a kid and sleep over at their house, I would sneak into the dining room and listen to other people's conversations. I am old. He said you were chatting about bike riding. Do you do any single trail riding? A buddy of mine got me into it There's some single trails in the local area. I haven't done that. Yeah, it's awesome I'm sure you have ones around here too and you would you would think that like You know I was because like single track is a lot of people think of it as like mountain biking, right?

So when you think about mountain biking single tracks, I thought it was a place to hook up like it's like it's a single track that's right where my area essentially it means that there's room for one wheel on this trail that's that's why it's called single so hopefully no one's ever coming the other direction well it happens sometimes and you just gotta kind of like hey don't fucking run into each other and yeah usually just people are also keep your fucking head on a swivel when you're getting ready to go up a hill because somebody could be coming down it oh fuck so most of them they have them do one way if it's like dangerous but these are also way more exercise because you're going like this isn't like how we go on a trail 100 so like what but i would what i would say though is if you wanted like a shorter exercise trip on a bike it's kind of fun because like i could i could get the same burn the same amount of calories in like three miles four miles on that that we do on a regular 30 or 40 because it's a lot of terrain down peddling you know managing stuff and it's a lot of fun we'll see and that goes to show you john says he's old but he's out here doing this so it's like i dude that would kill me i bet i mean you took me on that windy day and i fucking was ready to cut my own legs off so i don't know about that it's a lot of fun i will say that we won't i won't go on too long of a diatribe about that but i'm sure we'll get back into it i enjoy it i've heard about it and i mean i would be willing to try i would need a new bike because obviously i have a road bike and it would not fare on that because you just need thick tires that's why everyone thinks it's just a mountain bike in general yes you need something like that. Oh, and he did say that, I guess he just said, if you have a mountain bike or just

a bike with bigger tires, it's a blast. So then he finishes and says, Mikey, I'm impressed with your endeavor and with you, Shaun and Erik, all the best. I will keep listening. If you ever need an old guy with airline airport stories, Oh my God, he's got some of the best stories. He might be the great, like he worked for United for, and John, I'm sorry, I'm going to fuck this up, but like, I don't know, 25 years or something like that. Oh my God. He met like my favorite baseball players, Andre Dawson. Like he, he met so many baseball players. He's also, John's also the biggest St. Louis Cardinals fan I've ever met, which I forgive him for that.

But he says, I'm your guy or any other bullshit stories. Best of luck PS lunch or dinner soon. So dude, I love you. He's the best email. Thank you for sending that in. That's awesome. And yeah, I can't really disagree with anything. We should have him on like, yeah, he was telling me some stories. I think one of them and he'll have to tell me if I'm wrong, but it was something he knew andre das was my favorite and they just lost like a really tough game in st louis or something he was flying back and uh he asked him or something like is there anything we can get and he's like just a just a bottle of jack and that's all he wanted andre das he just sat there upset because he you know they lost and just had jack on the flight home i was like that's my man what other like he would have great stories yeah he's met a lot or there was i remember taking back like my cable box one time to a media comm or whatever it might've been. And those, the customer service people there, they just get yelled at all day long. I was like, you couldn't pay me enough to do that job. You just every year. Cause everybody's pissed about their cable bill. And it like, it was kind of like, you kind of got into that though. When you guys, when you worked for phone calls, it's like, yeah. Cause everybody's pissed off and it was what they did i'm mad that my bill is eight hundred dollars for roaming i'm like well you went to europe and talked to the whole i don't know what to tell you now granted i don't is roaming even still a thing anymore now i think nowhere near the level it is i mean there's still some of the international shit that's weird but like but there's no way like you're not going to

run up a bill like that for you know i mean you could it was bad back then you could go to just the wrong side of the road in a certain state or whatever and they're like oh you're roaming when we were doing it it was like you could go to you know you could just get out of coverage and not even realize it but you're still getting coverage on your phone right and have no idea that you were getting yeah it was kind of a fucked up yeah deal back then yeah customer service i mean everyone needs it's the same thing i say about service industry work everyone should do it at least once because it gives you an appreciation makes it humbles you a little bit makes you not be a total piece of shit or at least it should. Okay. This is, I just had this story jump in my head.

I'm like, you had a shit eating grin on your face. That's the face where Shaun's not listening to me. And he's already thinking, Oh, I've now learned exactly what it looks like on his face. That's one where, where, okay. Shut up so I can tell my story. Okay. As you guys know, I back in the day, I was a bellman. Yes. Right. I worked for a hotel for a long time. Kerry and George Washington, George Bush's boxers. But so it was right before like Y2K. So right. So like when that was like a big deal. So we had people in that had been there for months. Like they were in working for this company. They're updating all this it when they, when everyone thought, you know, the world, you know, what was going to happen. I was going to end with this stuff or the systems. Um, and we got to know this group of people. Cause I mean, literally they're there for six months or something like that. And they had, they're getting paid a ton of money. So they used to tip us really big and always have us. We'd take them everywhere, take their bags. We do, you know, do all the stuff for them. So we get to know them. So there's a big group of them and there's probably six total, but there was like three, three that we knew really well. Um, and two of them were females.

And one was, one was a guy and one of the females drops off her bag and runs up and she's like, Hey, I'm running late. Can you run this up to her, to my room? And it was me. And it was like, when we had this group of guys and one of them was like, yeah, I'll do it for you or whatever. So as he's running up there, he put her, he's putting the bag in the room, puts the bag down. Like we would set it down on whatever the holder or whatever. And the bag starts buzzing.

Now buzzing. What do you have come along for the trip? Here's my question to you. All right. She handed him the bag. It wasn't buzzing before. Okay. By the time you got up there, it's buzzing. Do you reach in, shut it off? Cause in your head, you're going like, what do you, what do you do? No, no. Fuck no, for multiple reasons. One. Cause I don't know who they are or where that's bad. No, but you do know this person like, like in a weird, like you don't know everything, but like, they are like, they would, they, your first name basis. Like you had long conversations with like, cause they don't know him. No, no, no. Because even if it's still on, when she gets up there, she's going to be so embarrassed that she's not going to bring it up. So it's, I'm just going to act like it never happened. And what if she walks in while you're, you know, trying to just be, Oh, and now you're like, Oh, I just wanted to give it a run for her underwear or something. Yeah. So it was, it was like, he was like, took it for a test. And we're all, of course, we're all like little kids. Like, what'd you do? He's like, I reached in, shut off real quick and took off running. Cause he's like, I didn't like, I don't want her to think I was like, I was like, I would, I would take the roller and just push it and walk away.

But I was like, that was my question. I'm like, what if she would have walked it? You know, and he's like, I didn't know what to do, but I was just scared she was going to think that I was, you know. I just took it and put it in my pocket and ran. So, I don't know, weird. This just popped in my head. But, like, I have this weird memory thing where I can, like, like I would notice that the zipper was in a different place than where I put it. You know what I mean? Really? You pay that close? It's some things. Not everything. But sometimes things like that, I would be like, somebody was in my fucking bag.

like, that's true. So what if she was like that? Like she, or what if you, what if you open it and there's something even worse than what you're expecting in there? You know, like fucking get masking, Hey, by the way, I'm not shaming anyone's kink or yucking anyone's yum. Yeah. I don't know. It's a tough, that's a tough one to be. I was just very grateful that it wasn't me that ran into that. Oh God. My mind is spinning now because there was So like, what would you do about something like this about, I'm not even going to say it because I don't want to mess it up. But yeah. So that's, so now you understand why my mind went away as your, as it hit my.

But hold on. How the fuck did my story get you there? Talking about the service. I guess. I don't know. Talking about service energy. And I was thinking about jobs. I'm like, hey, temp your service. And Tron's like, God, dildos and fire burgers, man. How the hell did I get another? I was like, it's called ADHD. No, I know. Yeah. I know. Again, this podcast is fucked up. We cannot stay on topic at all. By the way, if you ever hear, if you ever do hear silence, it's because we're doing it. I'll look over sometimes and all three of us will be zoning out and you can tell we're thinking about something we're going to say.

And we're like, Hey guys, we're all doing it at the same time. Somebody get back on track. So I know how I got there. Cause I was thinking of industries that have stories, airlines. Well, airlines carry luggage. Okay. I'll give you that one. but then so bellman definitely have stories which i've told to here of seen a president in his underwear and then you know now that washington so you can imagine other things but bartender you know got some good stories there so who else is in that industry that's gonna have this would be a good thing if people want to send a message yeah like if you're in the service industry and you have a fun story like this and and if you want to be anonymous we'll happily keep it that way so email us and just say you know i i don't want my name said with this and And I'll gladly read that.

But I listened to a local podcast recently called Deck Diaries. It's really good. It's these two ladies. They talk about just a multitude of stuff, like serious stuff to funny stuff. They had a guest on that was a former. She worked for the adult shop for like, and I might mess this up, like 10 or 15 years when she was younger. And so like, oh, God, the story is like good and bad. You'll want to like probably put bleach in your ears when you're done hearing it. But like, it's a really, yeah. So shout out to their podcast. It's really good. But yeah. So I think of someone like that, that's stories you're never going to hear.

You said it was deck diaries. Deck diaries. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. I wish I could remember the names. I've listened to a couple of them, but it's really good. And I'm pretty sure they're local to CR. So nice. Yeah. That's awesome. I like hearing about the local, at least Iowa, even podcasts. That's awesome. Yeah. Like I would shout more of them out, but I, I'll be honest. I kind of got away from podcasts until we started doing this again. Like I was just, I've been busy and my, I was just listening to music or I was like watching stuff, like listening to stuff on YouTube, not watching it, but it would just be going and I would, you know, while I'm working or whatever.

But yeah, I mean, I know there's quite a few local to us that have been doing really good stuff. So. Well, my biggest thing, like I've told you guys before is I usually do it when I'm in the car and I used to drive a lot more for work and I don't know. So, yeah, but I've gotten more, I've picked up some since we started. Yeah, that's no excuse. Yep There's no excuse for you There's nothing but excuses here I know now he's gonna turn that middle finger It feels good to have the weight The weight of the world is always on me tired. I would prefer that we say I'm turning the trophy Speaking of like trophy, we started watching, uh, we randomly were talking about the show, the league. Yeah. I say, I've never seen that. And I knew I've seen so many clips. I feel like I've seen it. I mean, like, but yeah, I never dude. There's so many good moments in there that are not in any of the clubs. Like the, the little things that take you like, did he really just say that? And then rewind like episode one, I'm pretty sure is the kid's birthday party. Dude, if you watch that episode, don't laugh. Is that something wrong? Is that when they're out front?

I'll fight over trades or whatever. Something like a party. I thought kind of, yeah, whatever. But yeah, I highly recommend, you know, Ashley would love it too. Or if you just watch it solo, they're short episodes. So it's so easy. I wish they would bring it back. It'd be so good now to bring back with fantasy blowing up the way it has. And God, cause everyone was like, why don't play fantasy football? I can't watch them. Like, no, it's just a dirty, hilarious show. yeah the fantasy thing is a little part of it there's some like nfl uh you know appearances but other than that it's just i would say outside of the premise of it being that these guys get together because of because of yes you i mean it's not a major percentage of the show right it's just it happens to be something that they kind of talk about a little bit throughout it that keeps it like they drop a line it's like it's like just like this you think about this like we hang out a decent amount but then like we have people in our fantasy football league that like maybe we only see a few times a year or whatever right it's it's a reason that these people are together right that's that's why i like it it's like it's kind of cool because there's like the cousin that's fucking crazy oh yeah or whatever yeah rafi yeah rafi rafi bomb yeah so yeah highly recommend that show and again if you're like oh i don't watch just watch it you'll fucking love it if you like dirty humor you'll love that show oh okay yeah i mean i've heard it it was one of those things i just admit you know it was on comedy central wasn't it is that what it was on no i think it was or it was on fx yeah i think it was fx which is rocking kind of what was

like uh always sunny in philadelphia was that those were right together weren't they which like that was right after it i think they kind of helped start the whole if it's after 10 o'clock Fuck it. Like, yeah. Mentality on cable. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's all good after that. Like, you gotta be good. Forget about that. Back in the day, there was like, God, what was the, what was the name of that show that you motherfucker? Sorry, Shaun's pouring us another fucking. There's still some left in here. There was like what the UFC started on. What was the name? Spike? Yeah, maybe. Is that what it was? Yeah.

Like when Ultimate Fighter came out. But like Spike was kind of started that because he had to, didn't they have the man show? Yeah. Yeah. So they were kind of the original way. I thought man shows started on comedy central, but then maybe moved to spike. I can't remember. Well, there's two, there's a couple of different man shows. I going to have to look up some of this but I think there a couple of different man shows So here cheers There was cause it started with Jimmy Jimmy Kimmel That was the best Right That was way good But I feel like then like Burt Kreischer did one and like there was a, or like there was Joe Rogan and Doug, Doug Stanhope ended up coming.

Like they did the second coming of it. Okay. Yeah. The Jimmy Kimmel one was on comedy central. Yeah. Yeah. That's when they had the kid with like the beer stand and he was like 10 years old. And he's like, yeah, I've been trying, I'm still trying to find it not to spoil things too much while you guys take this shot, but I'm trying to find the Ziggy Zaggy Ziggy Zaggy board for like those moments when we're quietly chugging something. Yeah. Rest in peace to that guy. Do you remember the old man? He would chug the huge mugs and he was like, uh, who was the guy in our beer group that could chug that fast? Really? Dude. Oh, Michael, Michael King. We call him the King. He just, it just goes away.

He doesn't even swallow it down. Bill Foster is a guy that passed away. That was the rest of peace bill. Yeah. He was awesome. That was a pretty good, that was a really good show. I know there was a girls in bikinis jumping on trampolines. I just remember some of their topics are real men. I remember the one that there was one where they're like now men and it was all about like Metro sexual. It was like nowadays Metro section, blah, blah, blah. He's like, I miss a man. You know what I miss? Tube socks.

That's really when men were men, men were men with the yellow and blue line right up at your knee. Like that's, uh, you can't even find those now. I know. You always need them for like costumes and shit. You have to like special order. So I get shit all the time because I wear like nose, like I wear no show. Yeah. That's right. You know, that's like the ick, right? Like, like kids are like, Oh my God, you like in high school, they're like in your no show socks or whatever. I was told I have the sexiest ankles in Cedar Rapids. So I'm going to keep wearing them. Well, again, I'm talking about high schoolers.

So I'm not, I don't care. But I'm like, really? I thought it was bad to have like socks. Like, hang it. Like, no, I think it looks weird. But they also think now like socks and sandals are cool. Dude. Not only that, have you seen the way? Socks and Crocs. Socks and Crocs. Socks and Crocs. Socks and Crocs. And hold on. Those, I'm not calling out my kids. every kid wears them, those like moccasin type things. Like the Hey Dudes? No. God damn it. What are they? Are they Uggs? I mean, but it's like a, it looks, I don't know, to me, it's like a slip-on. It's open on the back heel. Yes. I know what you're talking about.

Not a fan. I know. I mean, I'll wear that shit around the house. Absolutely. They wear it all the time. And I'm like, man, you're busting. I'm like, sometimes I'm ready to look at them and be like, trust me. Your little fat isn't going to stick around. This is sticking around. This is a long game. Legends last forever. Just like cargo shorts come back. They never left. I know. I mean, they left some people, but now they're more. Speaking of shit that grinds my gears, when my kids walk outside in socks. Oh my, is it enough to fucking freak you? They're like, why do you get so mad? I'm like, I just bought you a $30 pack of these Nike socks and you ruin them.

They're like, I'll wash them. I'm like, you don't understand. Socks don't stay white. You might as well like try to last as long as, you know. that I'm like, oh, then why'd I have to buy the other ones? If you're just going to wash them, right? They got, yeah, they got fucking dirty or something. Speaker 3 30 00 Ft. What are you going to put shoes on? You never put shoes on, go slide some on your foot. Like you always do. Oh, it drives me crazy man. You know said really old, right? Speaker 1 00 Ft. I know why? Cause instantly went to my head is fucking how expensive socks are. So I'm like, okay, I'll get you a pair and I'm like, what the fuck? Are these like gold socks? Like what are we doing? Like, what are we doing here? Kind of like Nike that says, we gotta be this with bubble. I'm like, nope. Sam's pack. I'm like, Sam's pack. Well, I told Aaron like maybe you'll stop walking outside.

They get Hanes if they're going to walk outside. Yeah. But then fucking Jack will steal my socks. Yep. Hanes with the gray bottom bullshit. And he's like, oh, they're super comfortable. And I'm like, well, this is what you're getting for the rest of your life. Okay. Wait, you just said white with a gray bottom. Yeah. I have, maybe I haven't searched hard enough. I've been trying to find no show socks that have that. Cause then at least the bottoms won't look dirty like after time, but I can't find them. I can't find no show ones. Cause even the hands ones are a little, they're not really no show. Oh yeah. I don't go full on like, I guess I see a little bit around the top. See a little bit too. I don't have like, are you wearing like girl socks? Yeah. So those of you, those of you that are like, I think this is going to be clip worthy. We'll just do a little ankle show at the end of the, can you clip Shaun just saying, pull it off as we're talking about my pants and he wants what's in there. Oh, that would be the name of the podcast. Shaun wants to see Mike's feet.

Follow us on feet finder. We might pick up a whole new demographic. We didn't even know we're going to do. Don't even get me started on that. Like if I ever want to feel good. I mean, that's, that's where I go. Hey, bar. Oh, you go to a game. Oh yeah. Cause I actually get hit on and get, might get a free drink here or there. Yeah. I mean, we have a lot of gay friends and I love it, but dude it's great gay bars are so fun i haven't been to one in a while but because it's just fun yeah it's just a blast gay men are just the best i can make a whole podcast about this so you know uh kale does the whole beard shaving extravaganza oh yeah yeah as a fundraiser each year um last year uh clint shaved his beard and left his mustache and then just the stash yeah And then we went to basics afterwards.

That's awesome. Nice. Dude, I've said I would love to have just, but I don't have the mustache. I grow pretty good facial hair, but some guys have that really thick mustache. Like that Burt Reynolds. I can't do that. Well, in the red, it doesn't pull the same thing off. It needs to be black. It needs to have that ginger bullshit. I got a good cop stache, but I have to grow it to the point that it's annoying the fuck out of me. It's like thick. We'll get you a little comb so you can, you know, I have a little comb, like a legit one. I've got, I've got like the mustache wax. We can make you look like Raleigh fingers.

I'm to bat. Oh, that's exactly what I was thinking about. That chain. Yeah. Curly bill. Yeah. Nobody could touch him. 40 fastest guy alive. They say, I think we talked about that on another. Yeah. Oh, that's so good. Yeah. But anyway, we'll have you looking pristine. Just grow it out. Aaron will love it. I've done it a couple of times. Does she care? No, she used to hate facial hair completely. Like she did not say she likes it now. Like now she doesn't like it when I shave it all off. So that's what I was going to say. Like Kara, like is like, I mean my beards, I don't even think it's that long, but it's longer than most people's right now. And she doesn't want it shorter than that. And my daughter get my, I used to have it really long and Layla liked that. She hates that.

it's this short really yeah which is weird to me usually kids don't like it i mean she's not a little kid anymore but i don't know but i eventually i would love to just grow like a giant handlebar or something like that just for you know because fuck it i'm not getting any younger have you guys ever uh so last year i like i was shaving i was cleaning things up and i fucking slipped and took a big old chunk oh that sucks i had to just do a reset i shaved the whole Yeah. I did that once and I'll never forget it. Cause that's how, that's how pissed I was. Cause I had to do, I had to take it all off and it was, I looked like a little kid. Dude.

It sucked. Yeah. I'm hideous without a beard. And by the way, I'm not saying I'm hot with one, but I'm really, especially after that. And I like Nick myself. What is this your first time? Yeah. And then like my son, I'm like, Oh, you're gonna grow a big beard one day. And he's like, no, no, thank you. I'm like, yeah, that's fair. I wonder if that will stop. I think it already has. Yeah. Cause all the, no kids now, like I say kids, but like the younger crowd, I don't see facial aren't anyone. They all have the floofy broccoli hair and clean shaven. Even like 20 somethings. Yeah. So again, it's not cool anymore.

Fuck. But I say fuck that. Yes, it is. That's what it needs to be. What's cool past 40 and what's not? Maybe even 35. Maybe there's the line. I think that's the, I really do think it's 35. So maybe our new thing is like, we're still cool, right? It's actually like, well, you're cool for 40. Yeah. And parentheses will put if you're over 40. Yeah. Right. Here's my opinion on this when it comes to the beards and shit. All I give a shit is that my wife likes it. Exactly. Like, well, that's what's important. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody else can fuck off. I mean, if you guys are like, it looks stupid, she's lying to you, then I might hear you out.

But I don't, she has no motivation to lie. Oh my God. I'd rather end on something happier, but I forgot. I almost didn't talk about this. You guys don't even know this. Well, you kind of do because I mentioned it the other day. I went to the fucking emergency room a few days ago. What? I thought I was having a heart attack. Oh, fucking A. Dude, here's the thing. That's what you need to call me because I'll be like, You're not fucking having a heart attack. No, but here's the thing. I never, dude, I never go to the, I was like, no, I'm fine. Like, it's just some chest pain or, you know, like everyone has that thing where maybe you ate somewhere and you breathe and it like hurts.

I was like, no, it'll go away. And, but I didn't do anything. I mean, I got in like five miles that day, but this was, Kara was cooking dinner. I was just standing there talking to her. And all of a sudden like my chest starts hurting. I'm like, oh, it's weird. Fast forward. I'm eating. It's just, it's getting worse. And I'm like, God damn it. This won't go away. And then like, it starts feeling like it's moving. It's by the way, it's right where my heart is. I'm not kidding. It's the only place I hurt. And it starts moving into my like shoulder and my arm. I'm like, oh fuck. This is it. Kara goes, do you smell toast?

And I'm like, no. Is that a thing? She goes, yeah, I think it's if you're having a stroke or something. I'm like, but I was like, I'm not going to the hospital. But then another hour was fine. It's getting worse. Like I'm like having trouble breathing. And I'm like, I would have went to a walk-in. By that point. But they were closed. I don't know, dude. But so. What did they say? I don't know. I'm fine. But like they did. x-ray and EKG and all this. I'm like, you can't wait to get the bill for all this. That's hard to be like, shut up. You're fine. No, but here's the thing. The next day, like, I mean, I, they give me some medicine and stuff to like make the pain better. And like, I don't know, whatever. And they're like, are you having a panic attack? I'm like, no, I've had one of those. It's not that like the next day I wake up and my chest hurts. Like, it feels like, like I just got in a fight or like someone punched me really hard. Yeah. Like it was sore. So like something happened. I don't know what, but anybody listening out there. Yeah.

If someone wants to tell me what kind of stroke I had or if I'm fucking dying of chest AIDS, I don't know. So he, I had texted him about doing something. He's like, Hey, I'm not feeling great or whatever and you were telling me that it was not a good thing and I was like my first instinct was oh you're fine just fucking shut up and trust me I did that for three hours I was like I'm fine it's fine it'll go away now that we're over 40 I'm like I'm never gonna say that to a friend because then he doesn't get it checked out and then dude he's fucking dead tomorrow and I'm like it was my fault I killed Mike I know three dudes you know what don't call me because I'll be like you're fine and then if you don't make it I'll be like it was his fucking follow up Did you try to take it to whiskey for it?

It's like those old timey doctors. Doc, I've had a cigarette. Calm down. You'll be like, no, you just got ghosts in your blood. Do some cocaine about it. I will say, I will say like what we should do is start this whole remedy thing. It's like, did you rub some whiskey on it? Did you rub some whiskey on it? Yeah. Did you try some Robitussin? Speaking of that, Cooper got pounded. He got hit at the game. Yeah. Was he playing catcher? No. Oh, it was when he was up to bat. Oh, look at that. Oh damn. So he, he took one in the arm. He said he was going to his head. He like kind of ducked down and took it in the arm. He's got this huge bruise on his arm. That's a, that's a, that's a good one. But it was hilarious because he's like, he goes down and I'm like, oh shit. You know? And then he's like sitting there and then all of a sudden he like smacks the plate. Like he's pissed. And I'm like, Oh God, he's, he's going to, well, he's okay. He's going to fire up and start saying something. And then he like runs, he's like runs down to first base and he's all like, he didn't rush the mound. No, but like the way he like smacked the plate.

I was like, he's do kids do that. I was like, they rushed the mound. Like, okay. I mean, well, I don't, I'm sure it's happened. You get some kids that like, you know, like Cooper was pissed. You know what I mean? But I think he was just, it was yeah. So God, but I was kind of like, you're all right. You're all right. And then he's like, dad, that really hurt. I'm like, I know it's kind of been hurt. And then he showed me that was from today. So that was, he got hit on Saturday, Saturday. So yeah, it's Saturday. And then he did that. That's just going to look cooler every day. So I was like, wow. Like, all right. But Hey, that's when you go good duck. Yeah. You don't want that to the head. He goes, that was coming at my face. I'm like, well, yeah, good. Yeah. Take it in the arm. You know, the back, if you have to, but like, I always remember major league where Dorn gets hit in the back and he goes, Oh God, like it's like one of the greatest sport moments in a movie. Maybe that could be for one of the openings oh god yeah i could say anything like that yeah so anyway but i do know like three or four dudes maybe three between the age of like 38 to like 49 that just dropped dead really yeah yeah like they weren't like good friends but like co-workers things like there's this one guy that used to work with me at ge and we got confused for each other all the time Cause we had kind of the same build. And so somebody was like, Oh, remember him? I'm not going to say his name. And I was like, yeah.

And there, he just dropped dead the other day. Like wife was cooking dinner. He was in the living room with the sun just died. Like what the fuck, man? So I'll like what Erik said though. I'm like, Oh God, I'm going, it's my time. I like, I was like, I'm going to take Stark out, get some air. And it just like was not going away, man. So like, obviously when you go in and find out it was nothing now, I'm just pissed. right well now i'm gonna have a four thousand dollar medical bill you know what i mean and but if it would have been something you know and did it feel better than when i told you like we can't see anything wrong no then i think because i just got pissed but i was still like so then your heart was hurting for the it really yeah then i died of a broken heart it was different yeah my wallet hurt at that point but i think uh we're about time for a dad joke are we are we getting of that time yeah make me happier that's gonna give us a give us a you're bringing the closer and if it's about like chest pains or a heart attack i don't want to hear it oh let's say same thing i told cooper rub some dirt on it yeah i know or whiskey whatever works whatever you have here you know um i lost it here sorry give me a second like i i almost had one to save and i'm like nope i did that last time i did i did the two new favorites I had. Yeah. You can't wait. You can, I couldn't, there's like, you know, when we were to get a good one, we need to get, I've never been a great joke. Teller, you know what I mean? Like the set up the whole, I'm good at it, but I don't have the memory.

Like, you know, how Kayton can just like tell you like a five minutes joke. He's good at it. Like he, but he like want, you know, I think it's something you got to practice and he really put in the time to be big at it. Yeah. What do you got? I got it. What did, so this is in honor of Cinco de Mayo. What did one sombrero say to another? What do you got, Mike? Hold on. I'm thinking. Because if I know it, I'm going to say it. This is hard, though. It's specific to a holiday. Okay.

Hola. You go on ahead. Jesus Christ. Hold on, Shaun. Shaun is kidding. By the way, ladies and gentlemen, that pause is because Shaun's gerbil fell off the wheel. I looked over and you were just like, why am I not? Oh, that's good. That was really good. I did not see that one coming too. All right. Well, it was fun. Been good, buddy. I think we'll do it again. I think so. Real quick. Email us. If you got anything you want us to say, any fun stories, any good service industry stories. And again, if you want to be anonymous, just say it and we'll gladly read it. We're still cool. Right? at gmail.com. We're still cool, right? At gmail.com.

To people over 40. We'll see you later. See you guys. Bye.