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Ep. 66May 20, 202658:39

Sitcoms / Wired Headphones / Funny T-Shirts

This week on We're Still Cool, Right? we finally catch up on our e-mails and dive into topics from friends of the show! Join us for another hilarious 2nd episode!

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We dive into the viral sensation "First time in San Juan, Puerto Rico", OnlyFans, content creators, and why moving beds up three floors of stairs sucks.

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This week on We're Still Cool, Right? we finally catch up on our e-mails and dive into topics from friends of the show! Join us for another hilarious 2nd episode!

Transcript

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Transcribed automatically from the episode audio, so expect a few misheard words.

Welcome to We're Still Cool, Right? The weekly podcast where the conversation flows smoother than top-shelf whiskey. And cool, well it never really left. Grab a drink and hang out with Erik, Mike, and Shaun while they dive into nostalgia and attempt to answer the age-old question. We're still cool, right?

It's the email, the email, what, what, the email I heard you have to pump your stomach for that Only certain people are going to understand that reference I got no fucking clue what you're saying So you have to go to homestarrunner.com Is it still active? Is it? They're on YouTube and stuff I just searched it on TikTok and I check it out There basically was this cartoon of this character named Homestar Runner and like on this specific one, this is when we were like big into raving and this one was about techno music and I can't remember how it starts, but the trauma, he's like, no, you just have to start a beat like, and then he's like, and then you have to add in some random quote from a sci-fi movie like, the system is down.

The system is down. Oh my God. And then you need a high pitch there where it's like, and then he adds them all together. It's like, and it's the perfect fucking house. It's perfect. It's like absolutely perfect. Yeah, but he started everything. He started as an email, and he was like, email, email.

It's Strong Bad. Strong Bad. That's the main thing. Strong Bad emails are the funniest part of Homestar Runner. Was this on TV? No, it was like a random... This was before the internet was super crazy like it is now, but it was just a site that I don't even know how it started. Just went to the site to watch this thing. It was a character they made, and he did little skits. Like the Chive. Fuck. yeah is the chive still cool uh i will say when i'm at a bar and they have chive trivia going i love it yeah chive tv and stuff yeah also chive tv where it's like the random clips of just people falling into that it's like it sucks everyone's it's the afv for the you know loud bar exactly yeah yeah yeah no not still cool but okay i like it right um home star runner was like kind of before YouTube was big.

And so, like, you could watch these videos that was, like, flash-based, I think. I still remember the whole song. I could, like, just the beat and everything. But then at the end of it, he's like, they're doing the song, and all of a sudden the lights start turning on and off, and they look over, and one of the other characters is, like, doing this to the flashlight, and it sounds like flashlight rave, or light switch rave. And the guy goes, oh, and he's spinning a glow stick. And he's like, I told you not to play with those. Let's go cut it open and poured into home star runners mountain dew or something like that and then he goes i heard you have to pump your stomach for that so gotcha random thing from like the 90s did you watch all the email ones the strong beds i watched a lot of them but that's the only one i guarantee i mean there's there's hundreds but it's yeah my favorite one is trevor the vampire no i don't remember that one so homes or uh strong bad would just get emails from fans as any would read them and so would be like typing out on his tandy or whatever like it's a green screen text anyway so he he gets this email and it's my name's trevor i'm a vampire and and then it just ends and he's like and what what happened trevor oh no they got him with a stake through the heart and he does this whole eulogy for trevor it was the most random shit ever but again we didn't have youtube then how the fuck did you find that yeah i mean i sent it to me i know but it's like the random shit that like we talked about that like how the fuck did we know to do these things yeah

like did you ever see the one the history of the world it's still around now you can find it but it's one of the first ones where it's like just talking about the history and it's like goes to australia it's like fucking kangaroos and there's a little kangaroo it's just stupid shit but it's funny to realize now like that would be boring to us now to see but it's super nostalgic because that's all we had yeah i showed it to my kids at one point and they're like you're so stupid you're so stupid yeah if i showed my kids up they'd be like don't interrupt me for this ever again but hey it's like talking about like nintendo used to be cool compared to the games they play now yeah that's like the compared to the content that they get automatically now to what that was and like do you see the graphics you fucking loser and you're like that's what we have i do think that for them with that like at least what i've seen with my kids is the older games still draw them in but they're like the graphics are on this i'm just comparing like this thing that you would talk about to what all it is now like kind of i mean i get it like yeah yeah i mean i i gave my gaming pc to my daughter it's like she plays on that if i tried hitting her a tender she'd be like why would i ever go to this like are you out of your mind right now i'm like i get it i get it just gotta have played Tetris.

You got to go to where you were to expect where you are. Up, down, left, right. Select, start. B-A-B-A. Yeah. We're back. Should we talk about the drink? We should talk about the drink. I want to throw out this is a second episode. I like to warm the people.

Transparency is a good... Yeah, it might go off the rails a little bit. It's going to go off the rails a little bit, but we do have this delicious drink, and I'm excited. The drink's going to go off the rails. I don't know what you're talking about, but it is sponsored by... Benz Beverage Depot 501 7th avenue love it big green building the last drink smelled so fresh yeah this one smells a little cough syrupy okay so well hey once you hear the name you're it's all gonna make sense well this is called first describe what what it's based off of okay so yeah that's a good point yeah um so there's a very popular shot out there called a redheaded slut yeah we've had them our whole life it's uh jaeger uh peach schnapps and cranberry juice and for for a long time that was like the redhead slut redhead like it always like yeah people come around just like things get popular like think about green teas or like think about for a while their redhead slump was like was always like like i feel like i did them for a year yeah yeah i mean everybody just always got them for a year and i mean we haven't done the redheaded slut on this show yet.

Sure. I thought we would smooch it up a little bit. The best redheaded slut there has ever been here. Lindsay Lohan. It's a redheaded slut with a little coke in it. What makes it a Lindsay Lohan? Cigarettes and bad decisions? What do we got going on here? We put a little coke in it.

That's really funny. Redheaded slut with a splash of coke. With a splash of coke. I think she would have put more coke in it than i did yeah he was like was that enough coke i'm like not for her but it's good for us so hey guys it's just a joke relax your tits cheers we are slamming these so it's not bad it's not bad yeah the jaeger is the kind of it's the driving force they're bad like i i prefer them more when the air is more in the back side of it but I had this slow twitch that just rolled up my eye right here. It's the Coke.

It's not Diet Coke. Hey, that's that pure Columbia Coke. I did equal parts. That's what I read online, so hopefully that was right. I'm sure somebody could tell me that there's a better way to make it. I don't think it's right only because I'm not used to tasting the Jaeger as much, but you definitely do taste it and know it's there. I thought the Coke would change it more, but it didn't. It didn't. It just made for a way better name. So a few episodes ago, the whole reason this came up is because... I mean, it made it a Lindsay Lohan. It just is a way better... It sealed the deal. What a fucking great idea.

What a great idea to be like, this is what makes it a Lindsay Lohan. Whoever thought it was a genius. It's just so perfect. By the way, we hope she's doing amazing. Which, by the way, she is now. She is. Good. She's back and hot again. Let's go. Like, she had a kid and is... She's back, baby. Working a bunch. She has a kid? Yeah. Let's go. All of a sudden, she came back and had a kid. She disappeared and comes back. She has a kid. Big Netflix contract for a bunch of movies. She's got her shit back together again. I'm rooting for her. Freaky Friday 2 was last year. Dude, I'd bump a rail with her.

Freakier Friday. Freakier Friday, yeah. I didn't see it, but I assumed it was freaky. Boy. She was super hot. She was killing it for so long. Drugs are a bitch. I mean, be young in fucking Hollywood. Yeah, it doesn't end well for 95% of those people. It doesn't end well for anybody, really. Well, true. It's the comeback. They always have to make a comeback for it to work. You know, like Kim Kardashian when she had come on her back. Yeah. That's where my head went to. I'll never not hear that when I say come back now. It's the best blooper of all time. It really is. Just because of the girls' faces.

When they're doing it, they're like, oh my god. This is a blooper from Parks and Rec. Yes. It was something that Chris Pratt said. By the way, Chris Pratt was a fucking national treasure in that show. he was only supposed to be in that for like a few episodes and like they were like we can't get rid of this guy yeah that's badass my favorite parts is when he's like cracking up the entire uh crew oh yeah but he's sitting there like yeah well the other one where he's like it's him and uh god damn it the guy ron swanson uh nick nick offerman and then audrey plaza and he's like i can't do it my stomach hurts i got hot snakes and they're like what he's like i got hot snakes It's like when I poop it comes out like a hot snake and fucking watching Nick Offerman break down like can't control So it's like cuz that guy can hold it through a lot Especially for his role, you know, he's always just like I know many fuck yeah This is a bacon I can eat Yeah, right Yeah, and then the one with the doctor he's like it's he's like doc. I don't know what's wrong But I just it's like wiping a marker. I just wipe and wipe and it's just still poop.

It's like I got a magic marker. Yeah, just the most random shit where even my brain doesn't, like, you know. But speaking of that, you've had that before. You're like, what is going on? What the fuck? Someone's punking me. Yeah. I don't know how they do that, but it'd be impressive. Magic markers. Wiping it. Wiping it. And now he's married to Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. He divorced Anna Pacquiao or Pacquiao. No, not her. I fucking love her. That's the chick from True Blood. Anna Paquin. It was the chick from Scary Movie and stuff. Oh, yeah. Anna Faris. They have a kid together.

No, he remarried Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter. They've been together for a while now. My favorite, Parks and Rec. with Chris Pratt. Leslie Knope is sick and he's like, I typed your symptoms in the computer and it says you might have network connectivity issues That would be me giving real advice Stop! Here's what it came up with By the way, all of our front group would be like Shaun's on fucking WebMD again Not connected Like, Jesus Christ Somebody would take his fucking phone away Yeah, he would text Erik and Erik's like, just give me your phone We're done, stop Oh God, so good. That's God that's it. I'll take it. God. I love that show So my son got me into that. I like hadn't watched it. He's like dad. You'll love this I'm like I think I would but it's like it kind of like I don't know I it's like I don't like I'm so bad with names lit Leslie know what's her real name?

Amy puller Amy puller like I like her but it's like this comedy that's kind of it's a bit cheesy to me And so it needs other people to go off of and I and the I felt like in the commercials It never really showed that and then I watched it. I'm like this show is a fucking gem see I watch I still never like I watched like the first episode and never liked it But I've seen so many of the clip bloopers and clips that I'd like I kind of I kind of Feel like it's a lot of the way I've seen Seinfeld all on clips that's okay not really you feel about it but like yeah some miles better than well i i'm just saying it's the same way i watch it i'm not comparing the two i'm just saying that that's how you've got i'm very aware of parks and recs i'm very aware of the characters but it's all from clips and not from like actually sitting down to watch the show but yeah i here's what i'll say i can't stand like um like uncomfortable comedy oh so like you can't do the office even i can do the like i really it's only because i just love steve carell yeah but really like even i struggle with that sometimes there's certain like i just i don't like uncomfortable comedy like just like i'm embarrassed for him where it's so bad so that's why i said the office i've never like we've talked we've documented this on here i do not like ben stiller because his comedy is always like oh that's a good point like i he's just always the dipshit yeah i mean where i'm constantly like oh you know

what i mean like i'm just like feeling so like i'm just you like will ferrell yeah because he does the other he doesn't only do so let me say this the office i will i this is why i understand what you're saying there's one episode of the office i cannot watch like i get such the like douchebag feeling that I can't watch it. Is it the Scott's Tots? Yep. I can't watch it. There's one where he promised these kids that like when they... Oh, yeah! Yes! It's so bad. I fucking hate that. Let's explain for the audience. So Michael Scott's character promises a group of children... In kindergarten, I think.

Like when they're little kids that he will... If they finish and go all the way through school and finish high school, that he will pay for them to go to college. Even though he had no money and he had no money to do that i will say i love the beginning when he's talking about it yeah i mean i was super and then also when i came to do it i'm like i can't watch this i can't watch that part of it yeah yeah it's extremely painful yeah it is it is the most uncomfortable i've ever been watching a show and i've watched it once i will not watch again like it's that bad and then at the end like because he can afford it he goes like he brought them all like laptop batteries for their laptops that they don have to use in college and then what like he walks out it the it the most awkward thing ever and this one kid follows him out like you can't do that to us man and he's like i'll tell you what i'll write you a check right now for a thousand dollars please call me before you cash it but like and it's like oh it's so bad yeah but i i don't like that kind of like just in general like the office gets me in moments where i'll be like i i just feel like there's just moments that i turn away from the office right like kind of like you know whatever that part of it but like that's my big thing with ben stiller like i've really struggled with it because it's just like i get it if that part of it i just don't like it just makes me uncomfortable and i don't like that but i mean some people love that shit like yeah a lot of people kind of say they're either parks and rec or the office right I like both But The Office If it was all like Jim fucking with Dwight

I would be on board Like if it was that I could do that Dude the pranks in that show Are so next level Like some of the shit he did The one where He shows up wearing him He's like I found these glasses Completed the rest of the I tell you that's not a joke Jim Dude it's so good But then one of my favorite ones is I think he's talking to HR Dwight about like the things Jim has done to him he goes he made me punch myself in the face with my phone one day and then it cuts Jim he goes that was hard to pull off he goes I had to put change in his handset every day just a little bit at a time until he got used to the weight and I just took it all out when they have to do the fake sales call that's one of my favorite the name's Butker Oh, yeah.

And he's like, are you yelling at me? Don't yell at him. All of a sudden, he closes it. I'll take a million dollars. I just made a million dollars. And Michael Scott's still over the moon about it. Just crazy. The other one, he takes a bunch of wire from the telephone pole outside and runs it all the way into his thing, but basically takes Dwight on a day-long adventure pulling this wire for nothing. God, it's just so funny, man. That is fucking great. Did you ever watch Community? I did not watch that. No. It's all from that same comedy block. That's what I figured. It was 2019-2011. That night, it was The Office, Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, and Community.

Yeah. See, I never watched 30 Rock either. Someone just yelled at me for not watching that. And they're so good. They're so, so good. Community is one of my top three favorite shows of all time. Really? it's so brilliant because it's got who's the was it Joel McHale Joel McHale yeah but like so many people came up through that show yeah Allison Brie was one of the big ones out of that show Donald Glover Childish Gambino came up out of that show that's why when I said Childish Gambino you're like I know him as Donald Glover one of my favorites no I love him yeah he's in the MCU by the way people who don't know he was in a Spider-Man movie sorry Shaun just dried up anyway oh you just want to hit yourself with the mic again hit me harder wasn't 30 Rock didn't that have Alec Baldwin on it Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey back before he shot people right yeah too soon sorry no okay it's not too soon it's just weird it's a bit awkward moving on Alec Baldwin still has one of my favorite scenes of all time oh I know what you're going to say i fucked her with an inch of her like it's like a five minute monologue and it's yeah it's so bad that's a tuesday that's a tuesday that was a dain cook movie oh but yes watch community it's i've seen parts of that 30 rock i need to watch so then was chevy chase in that then too oh yeah yeah okay and that was kind of the end of his like

potential comeback career. By the way, I heard there's a documentary on him and everyone's like, yeah, he's a fucking asshole. He's a fucking dick in the documentary too. He just doesn't give a shit. He left that show because he was a cruel, sexist racist and everyone hated him. Yeah, and the whole thing fell apart. It was very dramatic. It's funny because in the 80s when he was huge, I never heard we didn't have the internet. Never mind. He was. They sent it by carrier pigeon and it never got to me. I'm so sorry. yeah that's crazy oh all right we're off to a fucking hell of a start here guys this is yeah what was that intro nbc what did i say the intro was about emails it's the email the email what what the email bringing it back yeah 20 fucking minutes to get to our main topic.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, sitcom's still cool? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. But you know what's not cool is waiting for them to watch it live. That's not cool. Yeah, fuck that. What? Like where it comes out every week. Oh, like where we had to watch it on TV. Like watch it live. It's 2026. Drop them all at once. Just drop them all at once. Come on. Stop it. God damn it, dude. I'm getting so mad at the boys and all these shows. Just drop the whole thing. Drop it. I need something to watch. for two years and then we just stopped you can't if you're gonna start playing with my dick you gotta finish it all right like you can't like you don't just go back is stupid you just don't get to go back to that like come on this is i i mean how else am i supposed to like you don't put on a condom unless you're gonna fuck all right let's do this like come on i want to put you all up in me all of you not two or three all of it no is that not the way to say it oh my bad sorry don't clip that by the way. He's looking for the button.

He's looking for the button. I saw his fucking arm over there like oh god. Oh god. We got there. Alright. We have an email. By the way, we're sorry for these. We've moved on to Patreon and not that we forgot about our email. We have our email but we prefer to do a lot of our things on Patreon so there's a couple emails we missed and we're sorry to anyone we did. One thing we did notice is a lot of these emails are people that are on Patreon with us. So we will probably be converting that way as we're kind of going forward with this as kind of access to a cell. True. We didn't forget. We love you and thank you for doing this.

So we are. You got him up? Yep. Okay. Shoot. Erik's so annoyed that it keeps getting pulled away from him. Wait, are you ready? So guys, I have this rash. I'm not ready. It's crazy. It's a really good thing. We should probably take the little pocket knife away from him. because we've let him have too many. Hey, Shaun, look at me. His isn't little. It's a big old pocket. Well, whatever. You don't give a shit because I'm the one who's going to get fucking nice over here. That's true. We were pushing him to the brink of like, come on, fuckers. Don't say we. It's all you, man.

Probably. I keep him primed through the whole time. I keep him at a level seven all the time. And then you... Every single word you say is another extension of how long we're making him wait for this. And go. So this email goes way back. I originally told you February was the last one.

August. What? You got this email in August? We skipped one of Ashley's forever ago. She has not been happy about this for a while. And then she sent another one in February like, you fuckers skip my August email. Ashley, how have you let Shaun sleep at night? You just cut his throat. no i have brought this up to you guys a few times don't lie because your wife's listening no you have not good god all right i'm pretty sure you said like hey just like pretend like you want to read her emails that's what i thought it was yeah yeah don't worry eric and i love you ashley go ahead okay so this one goes back to and this is a little bit dated but this goes to uh the the jingles and the oh yeah topics oh i can't remember this yeah um so she was talking with sophie about uh to get her mind on the kids episode um and some things that she could you know ask us and yeah it was before we had the kids so she was like hey i got a great idea that you could do with the kids like she gave us an episode yeah so she was thinking um see if they recognize any of these ad jingles yeah oh or to taglines or whatever not necessarily jingles but so uh i'm gonna i'm gonna read through these quickly and then we'll um jump into some of the other emails but um i'm like are they all ones we've already done well we that was so we yeah i'm loving it i'm loving it

yeah so i was trying to read it and figure out what that was saying sorry my brain wasn't quite I like that we're watching Erik play his own little quiz game. So then we got into these one time without giving her any credit. She's like, I fucking sent you that. How do you think we got our own jingle? By the way, actually, our jingle is all because of you, so thank you. I'm saying. Alright, keep going. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. Oh, what a relief it is. Is that Pepto-Bismol? alka-seltzer yeah alka-seltzer to the rescue see i don't even know that one i want my baby back baby back chili chili baby back ribs uh best part of waking up is folgers in your cup for sure oh it's my dick in your cup your mouth is cup another i forgot it wasn't muted go ahead um i don't want to grow up i'm a toys r us kid yes there's so many toys at toys or us that i could play with from bikes to trains to video games it's the biggest toy story there is i don't want to grow up because if i did i want to make my way i want to be a toys or us kid or something you guys always had a toys r us here in cedar rapids right pretty close for a long time yeah yeah so i grew up in you know small town and i always dreamed of going to a toys or it's

great i never got to go it was great older i i remember going back in there after we had kids and i'm like oh this place is awesome yeah and then our kids were like and i was like what yeah we could just get that shit on amazon exactly yeah so and that's why they went out of business my parents used to love it my dad's like they got it figured out he goes i walk in there and he goes it is just one step and someone's like what can i get for yeah what are you looking for and he's like uh the kids want this this is right over here he goes they they know grandparents are coming in there and they're buying the expensive you know he goes they don't offer me any of the on sale it's always the yeah the shit that they got to go to the back room to go get like it was well priced but wasn't on sale it was just like yeah you get what you get you don't grow fit here it is go get it I don't know, the grandkids ask for this.

Here's where we're going to go. They would get anything. But you could get the Lego sets that were sold out at Target or Walmart. Yeah. You could find them there because they were a little bit more. And they always had every video. I mean, that was in the N64 days, the glory days for me. But they always had everything you wanted. It was very rare to find something sold out. They got all of it.

You're not fully clean unless you're... Zest fully clean. Oh, my God. I forgot about that one. green soap was awesome Irish Spring is green isn't zest or is blue no I think it is too maybe they have a green and blue probably yeah I know Irish Spring is but Irish Spring is what it's called when I pee on you guys zest is blue bluish green I was honestly testing it I was like maybe he's not paying attention then I get zest fully clean after that unless he did something to you so far. Yeah, Tom, Tom. Don't keep going. Okay, give me a break. Give me a break. Break me off a piece of that canteen.

Canteen feast. Sorry. Canteen. Canteen. Yeah, that's it. Cat food nailed it. That's actually kind of perfect what we were talking about earlier, but yeah. What would you do for a Klon Dyke bar? I almost said Kit Kat bar, and I'm like, that is not it. For a huge Dyke bar. Yeah. What? I want one of those. So then Ashley sends the email that's like, hey, you guys missed this shit. So then she sent a follow-up that we clearly skipped over. Per my last email.

I believe we found that under, hey, Shaun, your wife's pissed. Deal with that. No, I'm kidding. Ashley, you know we love you. The timing was bad for that. Sorry, I don't know why the fuck I have an alarm going off. Time to feed the chickens. Fuck off. Rest in peace, chickens. I take the garbage out. Take your man pill.

My manipause is strong these days. It's important you take it at the same time every night for it to be a fantasy. I'm keeping all this in. As you should. Okay. Julie. Julie's sending emails from her work email here. Nice. Are you sure we didn't read this? I thought we read all Julie's. No, not this one. she said when co-pilot comes in clutch she made a jingle for us just basically at the same time as she was listening to the episode oh um are you gonna sing it see acapella does it have music or do you want to play it no it's just words i'm trying to like read you have to sing it do you want me do you want to send me the words and i'll turn it into one yes i should send this to you Send it to me and I'll do it.

It even describes like it's an upbeat, nostalgic pop vibe. Cool. Send that to me and I'll do it. I mean I know you made ours on your own from scratch but is that what you said in your head when you made it Yeah I thought in my head upbeat No I think I put in classic 90s jingle or something like that Because you fucking crushed it. I just wanted to make sure you knew that. One, I know. Two, get on my level. First of all, duh. Second of all. I did it in like six minutes. Well, you got 30 minutes here. This better be fucking aces. This better be aces. This is why you go to Upload Media, boys and girls.

I just accidentally renewed my subscription so To your brain because you do this all on your own? That's crazy. I see what you're doing there All right, we got Ben. Did you send it to Ben? Oh, no We're giving it fucking 30 minutes now you got 29 Damn it. That's not enough time. Right? Work under these kind of conditions! So this one's obviously a little off the rails, but I wanted to come back. Did we ever find out who won out of U2 for the NCAA bracket since I was late? Was that confirmed?

We didn't find out for sure, but I'm pretty sure. He had fucking Iowa State. Iowa State got beat in the fucking second round. No. But also, it doesn't matter because it's all point-based. so yeah they made it further than that but they did get beat like okay the eight or the 16 so like yeah they made it to at least 16. they made it okay 16 or yes yeah i because i i think i picked the guy i think i had the winner oh well then like i'm pretty like yeah like yeah all right so we have to get sean another middle finger no because that's why i was asking no because the one we didn't know was you I definitely want you did yours my pick spin that finger to you you son of a bitch but no I will grant you the winner again that's two years in a row I'm super pissed about that so we're gonna get we have to get something else for you I mean it's nothing's gonna beat that don't fucking point at me I bought it pointed at you no i'm the winner i'll fucking slap that shit out of the way i'm the winner get a fist this time is there a gold chocker let's get it mad there's gotta be i wanna move on to the email all right remote producer ben um i gotta read the subject because he always yeah company's turning 20 huh so you can bang it but you can't get it drunk holy i don't know this

i have no clue company's turning 20 you can bang it give us a hand um old can you give us an actor in it like maybe or mark walberg Oh, the one with Will Ferrell No, that's not it Oh, it's Ted? Oh, alright I think Ted says it Was that about the rental company or whatever? Anyway, go ahead, yeah, yeah, yeah Ted's great I don't remember it, but I do kind of remember Something about it turning 20 Speaking of that, have you watched the show, Ted? No, but I heard it's great Fucking great Okay I would assume this is still cool based on the way he's put it here but wired earbuds or headphones oh right so are they still cool or not um he's got some bits here so i'll give i'll kick us off with his take on it i love my earbuds but mostly use them for talking on the phone or web meetings i have multiple different versions and models mainly because i lose one of them so then they don't you know uh he said also they don't respond very well to a car running over them lawnmower yeah they're not the original nokia phone he said for flying or music i have an old reliable white pair of wired headphones they are louder sound better connected to my phone when i drop it on the floor uh can fish it back up with you know like if you drop the phone you could pick it back up up with the cord yeah um kicking it three rows ahead instead of finding it on the floor

um right these are all like my nightmares so like i do my best to make sure it doesn't happen i literally put my phone in the pocket in front of me so it doesn't do that this is giving you the anxiety that i get when i yeah um you can lose or leave behind the charging case somewhere um also you know remembering to keep things charged especially when they're wireless is a little more difficult so what do you guys think wired headphones are they still cool when i'm working i i don't really care a whole lot like you know i think if i'm tied to something and i'm working i don't really care but like if i'm out like walking my dog or going for walks or going for runs obviously i go wireless like that would drive me nuts so so i feel i do a bunch now like for work i'm always i'm always i'm just on the phone all the time and so but i love to pace like when i when i talk um so i have you know apple earbuds you know i mean and they're wireless and i like those but there is something about the like these you know the noise canceling they go over like it's just kind of simple to like really listen to music or something like that and i don't need to have it like blast it up to full you know i mean because like i'll get it on the lawnmower with my airpods and i'm like i got that fucking thing cranked all the way up and in my head i'm going this can't be fucking good for my ear like this isn't good that's the thing and then i fucking

then i fucking blew like my right ear i blew it you know i mean so it's like the earbud or your earbud oh okay so it's like god damn how long how loud do i have that for that long for it to go out this is how also like that like yeah if mine rattles i always made fun of the people who like mode and shit like that would like ear stuff on like like noise kit like whatever but i'm deaf i've realized that now like when me and carol watch you she's like hey old man can you hear and i'm like not very well so she she has crank it up like double i don't know what they've said For fucking six episodes in I don't even know I can read lips like a motherfucker You know what I mean?

I'm basically deaf at this point She goes to work you rewatch them so you know what the hell is going on With the volume up and on Subtitles on You've had too much of that Keep going That's going to be a clip That's going to be so good No keep doing that and then do this while you do it He's just air dicking all over the place. Hold on, spit on it while you're at it. Yeah, come on. What is it? God, what's the Christmas party one where he's like taking a shot out of it? He's like, hold the app. It's company party or something like that. Whatever. God damn it. I could think of the glass sculpture thing.

Ice sluge. Yeah. But yeah, so I don't know. To me, yeah, if I'm just chilling and sitting, I don't mind wired at all. But if I'm moving, I need wireless. Here's my take. Like, I prefer wireless, especially now that wireless has gotten to the level of quality that it's as good or better in some scenarios than most wired. The one thing I will say, there is still some fidelity to wired in some, like, really high-end ones. But also, the other reason I use them sometimes is, like, I don't want it to die. so like in this scenario where oh yeah you don't want it to die in the middle of an episode now you're trying to find a battery or charge to figure it out yeah um i did it when i was doing video game streaming and shit like that too it's just better in that scenario where you don't have to or then you can't keep them charged all the time because then you start depleting the battery anyway so then you pull it off and it like yeah but if i'm like mowing the yard or doing yard work or working in the garage or whatever i want wireless because i don't want this like i turn and i catch it on some yeah oh yeah yeah i mean i've wiped out more things with it you know get that cord down my shirt down my back so it's a little bit easier but then somehow pull your water bottle over you know like yeah yeah type deal but um so i there is something though about just the reliability of the old cord one so i think that's a big part of it that like in the right situation like i think it's uh

like it's i think it's good to kind of have both options like you should you should be rolling with both options you know what i mean like your your ones that you need for you know maybe work shit where you're more tied into it and then the the wireless ones for a little one of my travel pairs that are like over the year yeah but it's wireless they have a cord that you can plug in so like then you can plug into your phone oh so if it's starting to die you like kind of run it that way so yeah that works as a nice little backup if you need it which i know benjo does so he does a ton of traveling and a ton of remote calls, so I can see him having all kinds of stuff. Hold on.

I can't help it. Fuck you. I keep looking over at Logan and here's Logan like, just fucking... He's like, whatever he's listening to is way better than us. I watched him, some dude would be like, and then he was just like... I was like, whatever's making him move like that. He's making jingles. I got a good one. I bet you fucking do. Watching your face, I was like, I was ready to smash through the wall. I got a fucking bop over here. Alright, let's finish these emails so we can get to this fucking jingle. So, I mean... I guess... I'll say this. You remember all the iPhones used to come with the corded pair? I threw them all in the trash.

Yeah. They're gone now. Now you can buy a solid lapel mic for like 50 bucks. if you really want to talk and it sounds a million times better than that stuff. Okay, sounds good. Okay.

Let's do at least one more here. I think there's only two left. Okay. Right? Jody and Nathan? Yeah, I think that's it. Jody, her subject, I love this. It's not a quote. Read me, bitches.

We are. We're a little late, but we are. It's only from March 12th. March 12. Lots happens. The world's a whole different place. We had a lot of topics to catch up on, so we're letting the emails build up. I'm a whole year older. Yeah.

Okay. Hey there, homies. First things first. Y'all have talked about karaoke, and then Shaun goes and talks about Black Velvet. That's my number one karaoke go-to. Oh. She says, let's go. That's a fucking great song. A lot of miles. We got to go. with her to hear her singing we need to go name a time and a place that's what she said okay okay my is it still cool is funny t-shirts which we did kind of we kind of talked about this with the hats and stuff but funny t-shirts yeah the big johnson ones yeah oh go ahead sorry i know us millennials still wear them or at least i do but what about everyone else so this goes a little bit more into some of the shirts that like like we wear you know like i had we mike and i were we're walking around in St. Paul over the weekend and I had my slacker shirt on and all the ladies in the place with style and grace is what you had on. Oh yeah. And some dudes like, Oh, I love your shirt. Oh, I love your shirt. Yeah. Like just randomly. And by the way, like no one was in St. Paul that we know is the weirdest fucking thing. But yeah, this guy says that. And I was like, Oh, thanks man. Like normally I get like, I feel like I know that I'm like, yeah, it's fucking biggie song like yeah well i got i bought a bunch of those shirts off that thing you know where it's like this is not a drill and has a picture of a hammer on it you know what i mean or like i have the one where it's like a guy hitting a home run he goes touchdown you know like that stuff like you know that like i think it's hilarious i think that they're more clever

now than they used to be than just the big johnson use your big johnson when you're deep in the woods that sort of thing. I think it's... But they're also kind of throwback shirts. There are a lot of 80s quotes of movies. Those are the ones I like. I can't wear one that says FBI, female body inspector. I can't wear that. I'm going to roll my eyes. It's going to be bad. Even that's so bad that I would wear that because that was at one point a cool one. But like when it is like, I don't know, but you know, you cut the sleeves off of it and you make it like that. Then it's like, okay, it's kind of like, you know, like I'm not wearing it around, but like that's the beauty of the Ozarks, man.

You can wear that shit out on the boat all the time. You roll in and it's like, yeah, you can be the FBI, you know, like you'll never be the trashiest person. Those are no, no, no, God, no, unless you're wearing the bottom goes so deep that like you're, you're like in the 80%, right? So like you're sometimes the trashier, the fucking cooler. you are down there to be honest with you we were pretty cool wearing butt finger down there i mean we got pretty trashy with our stuff that we did our shit was funny though yeah well yeah i mean that's what all trashy people said i was the blowjob queen of the midwest so i just for one weekend i was about time you got your official place that tiara queen about time you get your official title so um exactly do you do you see how big his smile has man. You guys don't look at him enough. He is having a fucking ball over. This is why we need a camera on him.

Hey, you know what else I just noticed? He got a new fucking chair because I can see the goddamn tag on it. Remember if you have to go, I thought it was either your phone or your nutsack down there. No, it's the tag of the chair. I was using a chair that was provided by our lovely office here in the Armstrong Hub. That chair was totally borked and broken. It fucking broke on the goddamn episode We have Upload Media has a bunch of these very very very nice chairs downstairs in storage and i went down and finally got one and brought it up this chair is like a thousand dollar chair that we stole you know you don't have to say that right well it's been it's been many years now oh good yeah statute of limitations for sure i think we're Come get me, motherfucker.

And I guess I never noticed there was still a tag on it. Yeah, it's swinging right between your legs like a big old sack. It's like a ball sack. The back of a truck. This chair is very nice and very comfortable. Are you happy? I could not be happier. I'm happy to then. We derailed it. All right, where the fuck are we? Okay, so the rest of Jody's email I'm going to save because she gave us a drink idea. Oh, okay. We'll take this drink idea and I'll surprise you. Hey, we appreciate drink ideas. We do. Love it. All right. Last one here. Nathan, squirt guns is the subject. Okay. Okay. Long-time listener, first-time writing in.

Fair. He's a man of few words. He was listening to the Senior Assassin segment that we talked about a few weeks back. Uh-huh. And we talked about how there aren't any good non-electronic squirt guns anymore. Oh. he says I definitely have one yeah I already know what he's going to say he brought it to the pool once it's fucking lethal but the one he has is the manual version of a really good electronic one but I bet the automatic one dies and doesn't last because alright what is it tell me the Spira S-P-Y-R-A I've had it in my cart like probably a dozen times and I almost spot two one time because i was like well i gotta have a friend to shoot at like no you don't no you don't you just light people up but you but you should always have a backup in case you lose it so you get it true but it's um the so his is the manual pump up one but the electronic one you literally just put it in some water press a button and it's like okay okay and it will shoot like blobs of water a stream of water so you get like a consistent hose or you can just like one shot it Yeah, it's like a short burst or a bigger blob of water.

But obviously it runs out faster that way. But it fucking shoots far. He was lighting me up. I was going underwater to get away from him. And I'd pop up in the deep. And my back was like, ta-ta-ta-ta. I'm like, fuck! And it doesn't hurt, but you can feel it. You feel it, though. You know you're getting shot. It's more than just a little drizzle. I like it better than the gel blasters and stuff like that. yeah yeah anyway no but his is good he said i'm not sure if they sell them anymore i'm pretty sure they do because i've had them in my car 12 times um but it's basically the spiritual successor to the super soaker you pump it to fill it pressurized water shoots about 20 plus feet um he said it would probably lose to new battery powered versions but it never needs charging so Those don't last.

You need both. You have that one. That one's your backup. I'm glad that he mentioned this because I kind of forgot about it. Hold on, are you going to add it to your car for the 19th time? Just pull the trigger. Maybe I just get it. Erik, right now, buy it. Fucking buy it. Actually, Erin's going on vacation tomorrow. I got to buy something without asking her while she's gone because she does it to me every fucking time. Dude, she's going to. No, you have to buy furniture. She doesn't have to move it in, right? Yeah, she buys fucking furniture every time I leave town. That you have to go get. What is something that Aaron would hate to come home to that you bought?

Oh, there's so many things. So many great options. So, guys, please. I'm not going to say any of them. Please subscribe to Patreon. We got to get Aaron back for the couches she buys constantly. I'm kidding, Aaron. So I have something for the Patreon to tell you guys, and we're going to talk about. Did you write it down? I'm doing it right now. Okay.

All right, let's get to this jingle. Are you ready for us? Which one? I love when you finish in time. They sent two. Well, they sent like four, but I only got to two of them. I did one short jingle, and then they also sent a theme song. So this was Julie? Yeah, Julie. This is the words she used. She's trying to replace herself. She's kind of a them. She knows she's the main one. I didn't know who it was, so I just kept, you know. I like to keep it safe and appropriate. Hey, you with the face. It's you. Hey, man. What's up, man? You sound like a question. Sorry, I'm so fucking respectful. Jesus.

This fucking second episode. Come on. God damn. All right. Yeah, this. Here's the first one. This is podcast jingle. We're still cool, right?

Grab your walk, man. Take a ride. Back to the days when we had pride. Pride, mixtapes, mall trips, Saturday nights, we're still cool, right? We're still cool, right? Talking old school life, retro laughs and good time vibes, from toys to trends to neon lights, come rewind with us tonight, nostalgia never gets old, even if we do. Okay, that line is boss. That last line almost made it worth it. But, like, dude, that was so, like, saved by the bell. Like, oh, I don't know. To me, it was, like, a cross between saved by the bell and, like, the Backstreet Boys or something.

Yeah. Yeah. But that last line was so good. That's the only part I liked. Okay. And then they sent a full theme song. So we're going to listen to this. Okay.

Go. Grab your fruit roll-ups, charge your Game Boy, and pray your dial-up doesn't drop, because we're going back!

Fuck yes! Right? Alright, I'm hard, let's go. This is 100% going on the boat playlist.

Baggy jeans frosted tips in sight. We swear we peaked maybe Join the fun, take a trip tonight It's the throwback show that feels just right Move as I use, we invented cringe From MySpace poses to our orange soda binge Dance like nobody was watching, so they were in the video still somewhere Snap bracelets pop in mall arcades Mixtapes burned in the Napster days Now we're grown, but we still shine bright At least in the dark From the fridge light Oh Nostalgia keeps us feeling Oh, yes So grab your slap bracelets, your glowing and dark bikes, and join us every week for the stuff we like.

Laughs, memories, and questionable fashion insight. This is We're Still Cool, Right? Don't answer that.

That's fucking awesome. It's long as shit I don't care That's so good It's a full theme song That's why I said it This is yes That was good I wanted to go back to the chorus one more time Yeah exactly that's the thing That chorus slaps We're still cool But both of them had just killer end lines Where you're like I want that part For sure But I need to have that I'll send it to you I knew that. All Shaun is doing is imagining Ozarks. Just fucking leaving the fucking the cove pulling out of six hours there and just this is my fucking podcast.

That's right, motherfucker. Let's do this. The shorts dropped to the ankles. Hell yeah. oh i hope that happens that's so good well you'll be down there we'll do it we're all down there we're gonna roll through and toss koozies out god i can't wait yeah so there you go julie thanks julie julie you rule we got to all the emails i think god that was good that was so good eventually have to go through patreon comments but we'll save that for another one but if you haven't signed up for patreon please do so we appreciate it does a lot for us more than you guys know and we have hours and hours of content out there now and uh it just grows by the week growing it every week yeah every week so i just had to throw that out there because it means a lot to us so it does yeah so that's huge you got a joke for us yeah is this like a softball is there chance i get it fuck can we get back to basic dad jokes what are we doing here fuck yeah i'll get you a softball next time you said that last time um i'm afraid for the calendar uh it's got scott months coming go ahead turn the page it's uh no it's days are numbered yeah i fucking you You were getting there.

I thought you were going to get there. I gave you the child. I thought you were going to get there. That's the most I've ever really got. Can I throw this out there? If you would have nailed what that was, I would have thrown this headset off. There would be a Mikey-sized thing through that door. They would have been like, was that a second? Like the Kool-Aid guy? Yeah, like the Kool-Aid guy or the... Oh, yeah!

This is a silhouette of Yugi. He's like, fuck off! Oh, yeah. Fuck you! I would have gone sideways or just sort of backwards hat and hands like this. Like, fuck. By the way, only this tall. He would have gone full force and actually would have been down. He would have been standing funny. Like Wile E. Coyote just flat down the wall. I think we need some merch with the Mike Kool-Aid man. I don't think we do. I think Mike's had enough merch that we could move on to one of you fuck faces. It's not tank as fuck. That idea. So, no. oh fuck another one in the books here boys this is a i would say we were pretty tame for this second this is a episode yeah well we did all right that's because we were reading emails and stuff but yeah we kept it together yeah we held together but with that being said we still have another patreon to film so or record so we do i will say if we ever get enough patreon members the first goal is going to be like the first goal of patreon is like do a third episode three in a row it's going to take a lot of work should we set a number enough in the tank get so many I charge extra for thirds as you should actually when we get done you'll be like boys I did that one for fucking free that was too good hey Logan doesn't do anything for free trust me I've tried yeah

nor should he this is why we'll always have a place here because he knows how to make money not unless you join my cult there's one stipulation I get to fuck all your women but you know you guys don't but that's because I know it's a little tough at first but that's really in the long run it's going to work out for you yeah it works out for me every time he looked at me and I went to say something inappropriate but i saw his finger on a button and i fucking stared at him when he's a good one or the bad one he said i was gonna me so but no he did it right it's making me paranoid i don't like it so next time you walk out of the room though i'm gonna make it my plan to fucking go over there just hit all the buttons i'm gonna figure out what they are and then all of a sudden we're like oh shit well we lost that episode fuck this has got a lot more expensive what'd you do I acted like myself.

Why is it smoking over there? What's going on? Yeah. All right. Well, another one in the book's been great. Thank you so much. Join us on Patreon. Yeah. Thank you, everybody, for listening. Thank you to Benz. And thank you so much to the Patreon members. We're about to go there again. And we love you guys. So, again, Patreon's something you can download. You can get it in the App Store and then search us once you get that. Hours of bonus content. Good stuff going on that gets a little racy. We'll see you guys soon. I think there's a chance that, you know, Cindy Crawford's going to do this. We might have to put these in a little bit.

Let's open the playboys. A little sticky. Later. Cheers.